The down and dirty truth about polyamory as I have lived it. Enjoy a big slice of no bullsh** pie with me about the lifestyle. I almost titled this thing "Disastrous Polyamory" but that seemed. . . negative.
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Send us a textTough times call us to look at the lessons of tradition.Get in touch! IG unlimitedheartfreedomSupport the show
Send us a textThe voice is coming from inside, honey. Or as the great band Heart said: "listen to your heart."IG: practicingpolycommunityGet in touch!Support the show
Send us a textEverybody's talking about this guy and we will too apparently.Here's the song about the leopards; if you haven't heard it yet, you should:https://youtu.be/CloOL-8wzhw?si=1TU21FUQv5e1aQv2Support the show
Send us a textI'm so sorry for the long gap! Life got away from me. But on the plus side, I did learn how to make falafel from scratch.Anyway! The Tuyo series, by Rachel Neumeier, currently has 9 books. So good!Here's the citation for the real life polyandry: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/drishtikone/2008/08/polyandrous-family-customs-india/This is not an academic journal, but it's a nice jumping-off point if you want to dive deeper.Get in touch: unlimitedheartfreedom on IGSupport this podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1770210/subscribeThank you for listening!Support the show
Send us a Text Message.Oh, drama. You're the Evil Fairy in every magical ballroom, aren't you? I have turned on the Fan Mail feature here, so check it out! Tell me all your feels!Email: unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Show me your money mindset!Get in touch: unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
In which we continue our Tarot-guided tour of Let That Shit Go LandGet in Touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Sometimes, the cards want us to think about something extensively. And then you will find yourself drawing the same card repeatedly. I must have drawn The Devil every month for at least a year before my divorce materialized.Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
The cards steer us into happier territory today. Sorry for the long break; everyone got sick.Get in touch:Unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
The power is in your hands, Padawan.Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
We continue with Tarot. Naturally this will involve things like circus acrobats, grief, drinking, and sex.Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Welcome to season 3! Sometimes we have to dig a little bit for that zap of light. Special terms: NRE, New Relationship Energy. That wonderful time when you are out of your mind with the rush of a new partner. Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.com
Obviously that's a falsehood.For your education and edification, here are some ethnic and religious wars and genocides that currently are being completely ignored by pretty much everyone. The Tigray War: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tigray_War#:~:text=The%20Tigray%20War%20was%20an,(TPLF)%20on%20the%20other.More than 250,000 dead, along with extensive human rights violations such as rape.Myanmar Civil War: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myanmar_civil_war_(2021%E2%80%93present)Myanmar and the Rohyngya people: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohingya_peopleMoroccan War: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Saharan_clashes_(2020%E2%80%93present)#:~:text=The%202020%E2%80%932023%20Western%20Saharan,United%20Nations%20by%20the%20PolisarioThe sad history of the Kurds: https://www.cfr.org/timeline/kurds-long-struggle-statelessnessCivil War in Syria (speaking of the Kurds): https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_Syrian_civil_war_(2023)#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20active%20fighting,occasional%20flareups%20in%20Northwestern%20Syria.Native Americans: https://www.bia.gov/service/mmu/missing-and-murdered-indigenous-people-crisisWar in Sudan: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_in_Sudan_(2023)#:~:text=A%20war%20between%20the%20Sudanese,Khartoum%20and%20the%20 Darfur%20region.10,000 dead, millions displaced. The day I recorded this podcast, I doomscrolled through my news feed. Apparently there are several new earpods coming out! The only source who wrote about Sudan was Al-Jazeera. 1300 dead in Darfur. I could go on but you get the idea. Nobody wants to discuss these horrific conflicts; I have little doubt that soon this miserable war will join those ranks. As many as 5700 Native American women and girls go missing every year, but no one is marching in Times Square over it, are they? Am I heartless for pointing this out? VOCABULARY:Flooding: https://www.gottman.com/blog/making-sure-emotional-flooding-doesnt-capsize-your-relationship/GET IN TOUCH:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Meeting, greeting, and mingling. Why are we so bad at it?!Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
hoooooo boy we got so much to say. The editing on this sucker is bare minimum and I can't even GAF at this point.For the record I stand by my opinion on Ben Shapiro!! We actual real Jewish people have books, man. Books on how to keep your woman happy. Some going back several hundred years. And it's sadly clear he ain't never read a one of them. BOOOO, shame on you, sir!! Apparently no accident his initials are BS.
A visit with a dear friend to discuss one of the most hated terms in all of PolyamoryLandia. Get out your guns, kids, we're going Unicorn Hunting!!Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Hank! Why do you drink?!Sincere apologies for the reverb. Still figuring this software out!Visit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff: patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch: unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.com IG: unlimitedheartfreedomHere's Hank Jr in all his glory:Lordy, I have loved some ladiesAnd I have loved Jim BeamAnd they both tried to kill me in 1973When that doctor asked me"Son, how did you get in this condition?"I said, "Hey, SawbonesI'm just carrying on an ole family tradition"So don't ask meHank, why do you drink?Hank, why do roll smoke?Why must you live out the songs that you wrote? Stop and think it overTry to put yourself in my unique positionIf I get stoned and sing all night longIt's a family traditionYou, Me, And Whiskey is by Justin Moore and Priscilla Block, sorry for missing the credits there.
We be loyal scouting polyamorists!Note: the mic on this new iPad is very sensitive; you can hear my dog gently snoring in the background.Visit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the cougar hunts tonight.The Beauty Myth, by Naomi Wolfe. I am not kidding, it's a blockbuster of a book.How Stella Got Her Groove Back, by Terry McMillan. I believe there is also a movie based on this novel. I do not ref this in the episode but it's quite apropos.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comVisit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Not this time!
First star to the right, and on til morning. Are you Peter Pan, never growing up?Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Metamour: your sweetie's other sweetie.Solo Polyamory: when you are polyamorous but you have no "primary" partner or nesting partner. You alone are running your love life.
NOOOO!! Not. . . the sex towels!!!John Gottman, who coined the phrase "the 4 horsemen of relationship apocalypse," has written several books, including Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His work did not save my marriage. However it did improve my other relationships. Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comVisit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryFancy Jargon:Metamour (or meta): your sweetie's other sweetheart.NRE: new relationship energy, aka that time early on where you still think their every quirk is adorable and mostly you are a pain to be around because you are sooooooo in love.
There's no pirates in this episode. Sorry. But there are a lot of red and yellow flags.Shout out to the awesome guys who do the Waving The Red Flag podcast! It's got nothing to do with this episode! But I just love them.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comVisit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:NRE: New Relationship Energy. This is the wonderful early stage where you are just so drunk on the awesomeness of this person. You're probably missing something and also probably being a pain in the patoot. But OH is it ever fun.
I kissed a girl and I liked it. Or did I? Did she? WTH just happened here anyway?Here's a couple handy articles about comp-het, performative bisexuality, and hegemonic masculinity for those who want a deeper dive:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_heterosexualityhttps://www.bitchmedia.org/post/visibility-performing-bisexuality-katy-perry-lowndes-music-feminismhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hegemonic_masculinity#:~:text=Hegemonic%20masculinity%20is%20defined%20as,ways%20of%20being%20a%20man.Bad Dragon sex toys is a real website: https://bad-dragon.com/I am not being paid to mention these guys. I just love their bizarre creations.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comVisit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFun Fact: although I can do a British, Russian, German, or Indian accent, I can not imitate my mom's accent. This tortures me.
Peg-Leg Pete is IN THE HOUSE yo.Shout out to Anita Wagner, in whose MeetUp I posted my first event waaaay back in 2014.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comVisit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:I like to make up names for people who are either theoretical/don't exist, or whose name I don't want to use for any particular reason.Esteban: any imaginary dateSvetlana: also any imaginary dateMy sincere apologies to anyone out there who is actually named Esteban or Svetlana. I have never met any of you.Exteban or Svetlanex: any former partner whose name you no longer speakAlthough I did name my ex-husband (my wasband) by name a whole bunch for a while there, it's definitely time to let him rest in peace, and to go forward in peace myself. One thing about polyamory, as The Ferret remarked, is that it's a small world. If you are the sort of person who trashes their ex, well, everyone can see it and will soon understand that the problem is probably you. So try to be on good terms with your exes, or at least not on terms of open warfare. As Will Smith said, “keep their name out yo mouth.”
Divine fire, Old Scratch, racism, rudeness gets the results it truly deserves. It's Bible time, y'all!The text I reference is 2 Kings 1.2-1.18. The translation I prefer is the Jewish Theological Seminary translation. I do not currently have a favorite New Testament to recommend, as I have not developed enough expertise in that text to give myself airs just yet. Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Baby, I need your lovin/Got to have all your lovin/Baby I need your lovin toniiiiighttRead my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comVisit me on Patreon for the wilder stuff:patreon.com/AdventurousPolyamoryGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Not this month. Go look up St. Valentine though. He is not that romantic.
There's no Robinson Caruso to give you the D on this island. Worst island ever. Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Not this month. The Amazon, for new folks, is my boyfriend John's other girlfriend. I adore her.
John & I look back and forward together. And make jokes.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon: "Shmuel" is the original Hebrew pronunciation of the name "Samuel."
This week is pretty heavy. Bear with me. Death is a door we all have to pass through eventually.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon: Polycule, meaning the extended family unit of polyamorous relationships including your own partners, their partners, the partners of those partners, and so forth. Obviously this includes fur babies too.
We have met the enemy, and he is us.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Polycule: a portmanteau of “polyamory” and “molecule,” intended to express the idea of a larger family/romantic unit. This may take any number of configurations and does not necessarily mean that all the members of the polycule are all romantically involved with each other.
Who's in charge of what? And why is it pissing me off so much?Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Primary bedroom: we used to call this the master bedroom. But then we realized that the idea of masters is highly problematic. And that historically, the bedroom of the master often was the site of horrible abuse of enslaved people or other people who had their choices stripped from them. So we are dispensing with that terminology because we don't want to act that way or think that way. Actually, come to think of it, using the term “master bedroom” actually plays very heavily into sovereignty conflict in the home, doesn't it? “I use the master bedroom and so I must be the master, right?” Subconscious toxic ideas will really come back and bite you in the ass. Or as Socrates remarked, “the unexamined life is not worth living.”
Dead-naming! Divine wrath! A bit of casual blasphemy! John and I talked so much on this topic and of course there was about 45 minutes of stuff I couldn't even use because I suck at technology. This episode is not specifically about only polyamory; I think it's time to normalize all of us having access to our own faiths and not tolerate anyone pushing us out of something that truly belongs to us. Texts we looked at:New Testament, Acts 9: 1-22Background Characters:Rabban Gamliel The Younger: Saul studied under this great rabbi prior to his change in faith. For a deep dive on this guy, check out https://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/6495-gamaliel-iiAlso you will be able to see there the intense love among Jewish people for footnotes and references in general. Pastor Joel Osteen: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/aug/30/houston-megachurch-shut-out-flood-victims-twitter-stormhttps://www.snopes.com/fact-check/is-osteens-megachurch-affected/St. James: OG Patriarch of the Church back in the day, and brother of Jesus. I like to think he would have cordially despised a fair number of today's preachers and pastors. Here's some nice quotes from him:https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Epistle_of_JamesRead my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
I don't play games. OR DO I?Link to The Yoopers' Second Week of Deer Camp: https://youtu.be/3Q57eWfaZmMRead my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
You can take the girl out of the ivory tower, but you can't take the ivory tower out of the girl, as it turns out. In this episode I veer into radical territory. Shout out to my autocorrect which actually knew how to spell "bourgeoisie"If you want to hear a more nuanced discussion about cleaning your sweetie's place, the Benjamin Franklin effect, and all that sort of thing, go back and listen to Episode 9.Read my noble words:https://wordpress.com/home/unlimitedheartcoaching.comGet in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomFancy Jargon:Metamour: the person who is dating someone that I'm also dating. My metamour – or my meta – and I share a partner, who can be referred to as a hinge partner.
You can't be in polyamory long before you start hearing about the veto. Let's take a closer look at this contentious tactic.References:Here's Jocko Willink giving an epically manly TED Talk: https://youtu.be/ljqra3BcqWM*I am a giant fan of Jocko. However, sadly, embracing his doctrine of taking full responsibility still did not save my marriage. Perhaps I'd have been a bit more successful in that department if I were married to Jocko. Also I really want to watch a TV show which is just RuPaul and Jocko going on dates.Credit for the use of the term "tyrannical" will forever go to Tom C. Thank you!Terminology:NRE: new relationship energy, AKA the pink fluffy stupids. The early stages of dating wherein our protagonists become so lost in each other that they lose track of everything else, including common sense and good manners on occasion.Relationship capital: this refers to the theory that we build up points in our relationships via good and loving behavior, like money in a bank account. During bad times, we might spend the relationship capital in the account. So for instance, I will accrue relationship capital when I care for a sick partner; later, I'll spend that capital when I become sick myself and need to be cared for. Built-up relationship capital can get partners through huge problems, but after that, the account will need to be refilled painstakingly.Get in Touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: @unlimitedheartfreedom
Honestly it's possible this episode was just an excuse for me to say "butts" a lot.Books:Folks, This Ain't Normal, by Joel Salatin. He's written a bunch but this is the one I read and it ranges over a very broad swath of subjects. The Art of War, by Sun Tzu. I bet we'll be revisiting this bad boy soon.And for the young at heart, I recommend Maurice Sendak's book, "Chicken Soup With Rice."Fancy Jargon:Polycule: a group, family, or tribe of polyamorous people, which may take any configuration such as a V (a hinge partner who has two partners which are not romantically involved with each other), a triad, quad, etc.Contact me:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Can we call modern polyamory a matriarchal system? Who's really "ruling" the pride anyway?Contact me:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomBooks referenced in this episode:Sex At Dawn, by Cacilda Jetha and Cristopher Ryan. I admit with shame that I do not know how to pronounce the first author's name and so I chose not to mangle it out loud in this episode.Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity is Wrong and How the Truth Can Set Us Free, by Wednesday MartinFancy jargon:polycule: a group, family, or tribe of polyamorous people, which may take any configuration such as a V (a hinge partner who has two partners which are not romantically involved with each other), a triad, quad, etc.
Because you should be like NASA, and only get busy with people who are as smart as physicists and as sexy as astronauts.Get in touch:Email: unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
A pithy rundown of some polyamory dynamics to avoid.CW: emotional abuseGet in touch with me:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
This week I'm here to give you the dope about the BIG D. It's been a while coming y'all.Contact me:unilimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomContact Mike Sinay the Awesome Divorce Lawyer (MD Local peeps only)msinay@familylawattys.comTell him I sent ya!
The most beautiful buzzsaw you'll ever cram your face into. Has ANYONE succeeded at this quest?Get in touch: Unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
It's been a wild month and my mind is kind of all over. Here you are, my thoughts on our constant visibility in polyamory and life in general.Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
My son would want me to say here, just like Tazerface in "Guardians of the Galaxy," that IT'S METAPHORICALLLLLLL!!! So there you go, Jack. Don't say I never think of you.Anyway yeah, this one's got a lot of metaphors. Because I just can't help myself.Get in touch:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: @unlimitedheartfreedom
Get in touch!unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedomElderly Athletes:https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/news/a33469615/87-year-old-ironman/https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/24/sport/edwina-brocklesby-triathlete-iron-gran-spt-intl-cmd/index.htmlhttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanis%C5%82aw_KowalskiMental Health & Isolation:https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325082https://www.pnas.org/content/113/3/578Extremely Old Women:https://www.dogonews.com/2022/1/19/kane-tanaka-the-worlds-oldest-living-person-just-turned-119https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucile_RandonBenefits of Sex for Women:https://www.themewspractice.com/the-10-health-benefits-of-regular-sex/Testosterone in Female Athletes:https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40750-015-0028-2The Coolidge Effect:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect
The more you know, baby! How do you plan to address some of the new and confusing situations in your life?https://theetiquetteconsultant.com/blog/2018/2/1/hands-on-the-dining-table-right-or-wronghttps://swampfoxfarms.co/etiquette-is-for-your-safety/Don't attack someone who is taking a dump, fool! https://etiquipedia.blogspot.com/search/label/13th%20C.%20Etiquette
Yeah I said it. There's some very good reasons you might want to avoid polyamory. Go on, fight me.Here's the essay by Mark Manson referenced in this episode:https://markmanson.net/fuck-yesGet in touch with me!unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
We hear a lot these days about the wonder of non-hierarchy. But. . . hmmmm.email me: unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
TW: Brief Discussion of mental illness, including eating disorders and suicidality.Rated R for my salty foul language.Let's talk about sex, baby! Should you go for it? Books I mention in this podcast:Vagina: A Cultural History, by Naomi WolfeSwoon: Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them, by Betsy Prioleauemail me: unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Who hasn't done a few dishes for a loved one? But is it a good idea? What if maybe it's not??Note: NRE means New Relationship Energy.Get in touch! Ask me a question and maybe you'll hear the answer on an upcoming show.unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.comIG: unlimitedheartfreedom
Are you still looking for The One, even though you chose polyamory? How's that working out for you?Please get in touch with me:unlimitedheartcoaching@gmail.com IG: unlimitedheartfreedom
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