BBXX: Let's Get Intimate!

We talk with one of our favorite men's coaches, Mike Sagun, about physical touch, closeness, and male intimacy. We learn about his journey to self-discovery, how he has changed over the past few years along the way, tools for exploring your own identity, and whether or not people can ever truly start over. Lastly, we touch on the art of giving compliments, the vulnerability it requires to give them—and the power in learning to receive them.

We talk with Dr. Jamie Goldstein about the power of story and the practice of narrative therapy. We discuss how stories create meaning, the importance of recognizing that stories are multi-dimensional, and how language shapes our stories and our identities.  We learn about how to identify a “dominant narrative,” separate the person involved from the actual problem itself, and the healing capacity of “externalization.” Lastly, we share tools and actionable advice for exploring aspects of narrative therapy on your own.

Hablamos de la diferencia entre el sexo y la sexualidad, las dinámicas de la sexualidad, la vergüenza y la liberación, la mente como nuestra herramienta más poderosa, el rol clave de la comunicación, la importancia de conocernos a nosotros mismos, y la definición de la intimidad. Nuestra invitada, Michelle Pollmann, es una psicóloga chilena especializada en terapia de pareja con sede en Santiago de Chile. 

We talk with Stefanos Sifanos about his personal journey from trauma to healing and continued self-development. We talk about masculinity and femininity, the differences between what is traditionally referred to as masculine vs. feminine energies, and how, in essence, they are simply a range of human characteristics that we all possess and should seek our own personal balance between. We learn about social ecology, men and emotions, the fear of rejection, and what determines self-worth. Stefanos also teaches us about the difference between isolation vs. solitude, its role in healing, and the importance of healing ourselves in order to build healthier relationships with others.   Stefanos Sifanos is a love and relationship coach and an expert on masculine and feminine energies.

BBXX Founder Sasza Lohrey interviews her very own brother for the pilot episode of an exciting new sub-series, Humans Of Intimacy. He talks about what influences his view on relationships growing up, how his perspective of relationships has evolved, and what advice he would give to the younger version of himself. He discusses how he learned to express himself emotionally, struggles in the beginning stages of his relationship with his now wife, lessons learned in communication, the role of authenticity, and how to be true to yourself in a partnership.

“Simple” behaviors carry complex meanings. We discuss the keys to a healthy relationship with Dr. Kate Balestrieri. We learn about attachment theory and how it plays out in adult relationships, as well as the role of fear, risk, and vulnerability in relationships. We talk about the definition of trauma, healing, and how to look for relationships that will help you heal so that you can reach a deeper level of intimacy with yourself and others.   Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist and the founder of Modern Intimacy.

When I decided to watch Boogie Nights with a few friends, I was expecting a comical satire of the porn industry in the '80s. I was surprised to find that, instead, it was a less comical yet much more profound cultural statement piece that I had expected.

We dive deeper into our discussion of anxiety and self-care as we discuss boundaries, meditation, mindfulness, and journaling with Rashawnda Williams. An expert in self-care, she shares easy, practical steps and actionable advice and tools to deepen your self-understanding and self-development. “Self-care isn't selfish” might sound cliché but it also happens to be extremely important, healthy advice to live by!

We learn about the history of cohabitation and its impact on marriage vs. divorce and we talk about the evolution of societal norms, gender roles, and hookup culture. Arielle Kuperberg is a millennial generation sociologist whose research examines how social norms in romantic relationships have changed since the ‘60s, with a focus on the intersection of work, family, and gender. 

There is no one single path set out for us. There is no single destination where we might end up and be happy. There is no one person that we could build an incredible relationship with. There is not just one "right" decision. And there is no one single version of who we are. ⁠Besides, how boring would it be if there were?⁠

We talk with Dr. Earl Turner about accessibility and equity in mental health. We learn about new guidelines focused on intersectionality (gender, age, sexual orientation, etc) as well as new guidelines focused on race and ethnicity. We also discuss stigma as an obstacle to treatment, how to normalize mental health care, the importance of role models, and society's treatment of the black community.    Dr. Earl Turner is a licensed psychologist and professor in Los Angeles. He is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Association of Black Psychologists (ABPsi), and he was recently elected as the 2020 President of the Society for Child and Family Policy and Practice (APA, Division 37), making him the first African American male to be elected to this position.

We talk with health & wellness influencer Jo Encarnacion (@gofitjo) about childhood, friendship, emotional support, the power of owning your feelings, the importance of authenticity, and how she doesn't apologize for showing human expression. We hear about her experience coming into her own sexuality, struggles through marriage, and how she gave her daughters “the talk” that we all wish we had gotten.

Dr. Christina Pierpaoli Parker talks with us about the pros and cons of aging—from the psychological benefits to the physical complications. We discuss sexual dysfunction, sexual liberation, the evolving role of sex as we age, how to connect deeper in our relationships later in life, and the life-changing lessons we should all learn from the wisdom of aging.    Dr. Christina Pierpaoli Parker is a post-doc in the Clinical Geropsychology doctoral program at the University of Alabama. Her research has been published in the Journals of Aging & Health, Sex & Marital Therapy and The Clinical Gerontologist, and her writing explores psychoeducational interventions for understanding, treating, and improving sexual dysfunction in later life.

We talk with the tattooed bestselling author, stand-up comedian, and pastor, Nadia Bolz-Weber, about sexual liberation. We learn about her personal journey to discovering her own sensuality, the history of sexual shame in Christianity, “sexual flourishing,” and how life, faith, and sexuality should not be considered tests that you pass or fail. To learn more, check out her book, Shameless: A Sexual Reformation.

Hani Lees Dresner is the Founder of the sex-positive ceramics company, Gashtrays. Hani emphasizes celebration vs exploitation of the naked body in her work and she believes that sex-positivity and body-positivity are crucial steps towards battling sexual and mental health. She sees her work as a “subtle protest” that aims to provoke conversation in a way that is approachable.  We talk about the story behind the Gashtrays movement, her nude-positive family, the hilarity of the human body, and the relationship between sexuality and creativity. She also talks about us her beautiful handmade vulva and penis artwork and we announce our upcoming virtual workshop on May 1st where you will all have the opportunity to make your very own art to celebrate your body! Learn more — https://bbxx.world/gashtrays-body-positive-ceramics

BBXX Founder, Sasza Lohrey, interviews her sister-in-law for a follow-up of our last of Humans of Intimacy, "Teamwork Makes The Dream Work," to get the other side of the story. We talk about her life story, what shaped her view of relationships growing up, common misconceptions of relationships, foundational qualities of a relationship, lessons in communication, the role of luck, how to stay positive in difficult moments, and lessons learning in parenting.

We discuss the five languages of apology, their relationship to the five love languages, tips for a healthy relationship, expressing apology, as well as the power of apology in conflict resolution—and in all walks of life.  Dr. Jennifer Thomas is a bestselling author, TEDx speaker, leadership consultant, and psychologist who helps people know what to say in any situation, including one of the most complicated situations of them all: when giving an apology.  She has co-authored the book, “When Sorry Isn’t Enough” with Gary Chapman, author of the bestselling book and the world-famous concept of the “5 Love Languages” in which they present relationship-changing research for understanding love, the power of language, forgiveness, the impact of a good apology, and the art of giving an apology in the right “language” in order to be recognized by the person on the receiving end. 

BBXX Founder Sasza Lohrey interviews her very own brother for the pilot episode of an exciting new sub-series, Humans Of Intimacy. He talks about what influences his view on relationships growing up, how his perspective of relationships has evolved, and what advice he would give to the younger version of himself. He discusses how he learned to express himself emotionally, struggles in the beginning stages of his relationship with his now wife, lessons learned in communication, the role of authenticity, and how to be true to yourself in a partnership.

Deborah Tannen is a Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University and the author of countless books about how the language of everyday conversation affects relationships. We learn about the different ways we each interpret conversations and interactions and break down the foundational concept of individual conversational style. We explore the “metadata” of conversations, demonstrating empathy vs. power, the influence of family in shaping our communication, the role of communication in a partnership, and gender differences in communication styles.

Lilly Wang spent two years traveling the world learning about what mental health looks like in different countries and across cultures. She also spent that time developing a much deeper understanding of her own struggles with mental health. As we explore the definition of mental health and how it looks different around the world, we talk with Lilly about the lessons learned from her journey and how travel allows us to discover a more authentic version of ourselves.

We talk with Dr. Jamie Goldstein about the power of story and the practice of narrative therapy. We discuss how stories create meaning, the importance of recognizing that stories are multi-dimensional, and how language shapes our stories and our identities.  We learn about how to identify a “dominant narrative,” separate the person involved from the actual problem itself, and the healing capacity of “externalization.” Lastly, we share tools and actionable advice for exploring aspects of narrative therapy on your own. 

Esta semana, conversamos con la emprendedora Estrella Jaramillo sobre la realidad actual de la tecnología orientada a mujeres, la importancia del lenguaje y la comunicación en relaciones, la infidelidad y la nueva monogamia, el papel del hombre en la igualdad de género. 

We talk with one of our favorite men’s coaches, Mike Sagun, about physical touch, closeness, and male intimacy. We learn about his journey to self-discovery, how he has changed over the past few years along the way, tools for exploring your own identity, and whether or not people can ever truly start over. Lastly, we touch on the art of giving compliments, the vulnerability it requires to give them—and the power in learning to receive them.

We talk with Stefanos Sifanos about his personal journey from trauma to healing and continued self-development. We talk about masculinity and femininity, the differences between what is traditionally referred to as masculine vs. feminine energies, and how, in essence, they are simply a range of human characteristics that we all possess and should seek our own personal balance between. We learn about social ecology, men and emotions, the fear of rejection, and what determines self-worth. Stefanos also teaches us about the difference between isolation vs. solitude, its role in healing, and the importance of healing ourselves in order to build healthier relationships with others. Stefanos Sifanos is a love and relationship coach and an expert on masculine and feminine energies.

We talk with health & wellness influencer Jo Encarnacion (@gofitjo) about childhood, friendship, emotional support, the power of owning your feelings, the importance of authenticity, and how she doesn’t apologize for showing human expression. We hear about her experience coming into her own sexuality, struggles through marriage, and how she gave her daughters “the talk” that we all wish we had gotten.

“Simple” behaviors carry complex meanings. We discuss the keys to a healthy relationship with Dr. Kate Balestrieri. We learn about attachment theory and how it plays out in adult relationships, as well as the role of fear, risk, and vulnerability in relationships. We talk about the definition of trauma, healing, and how to look for relationships that will help you heal so that you can reach a deeper level of intimacy with yourself and others.  Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist and the founder of Modern Intimacy. 

Would you like to be more involved with BBXX? Sign up here [https://bbxx.world/] to be a part of our brand new BBXX platform—a.k.a. your go-to resource for all things intimacy & relationships! You can find the show notes and more resources here https://bbxx.world/podcast/episode-51-the-lies-we-tell-ourselves-about-the-truth/  What does it mean to lie? What does it mean to tell the truth? And what about the gaping grey area in between?  Our guest this week, Judi Ketteler, is a storyteller and award-winning writer who has had her work featured by publications such as The New York Times and Runner's World, among others. She is the author of three non-fiction books, the most recent of which we will be talking about today, called, Would I Lie To You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies.    Where else you can find us: SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7xZ5JXfRybUqWL2J9Zggew?si=0hc4o8b5RNmNWdxRvN9vTw APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bbxx-lets-get-intimate/id1439909189 INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bbxx.world/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/bbxx_world FACEBOOK: https://m.facebook.com/bbxx.world PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.ca/bbxx_world/

Would you like to be more involved with BBXX? Sign up here [https://bbxx.world/] to be a part of our brand new BBXX platform—a.k.a. your go-to resource for all things intimacy & relationships! You can find the show notes and more resources here https://bbxx.world/podcast/episode-50-an-industry-of-injustice-4-4/  This is the fourth and final episode in our series exploring culture, the media, and sexual exploitation in the U.S.  We started off the series and now wrap up the series by interviewing documentary filmmaker Benjamin Nolot, who is also the Founder of Exodus, an organization fighting to end sexual exploitation and the billion-dollar industry that profits from sex trafficking. Where else you can find us: SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7xZ5JXfRybUqWL2J9Zggew?si=0hc4o8b5RNmNWdxRvN9vTw APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bbxx-lets-get-intimate/id1439909189 INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bbxx.world/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/bbxx_world FACEBOOK: https://m.facebook.com/bbxx.world PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.ca/bbxx_world/

Would you like to be more involved with BBXX? Sign up here [https://bbxx.world/] to be a part of our brand new BBXX platform—a.k.a. your go-to resource for all things intimacy & relationships! You can find the show notes and more resources here https://bbxx.world/podcast/episode-49-this-is-actually-happening/  This is the third episode [of four] in our series exploring culture, the media, and sexual exploitation in the U.S. We learn of shocking stories behind the porn mogul PornHub, misconceptions of human trafficking in the porn industry, and what we can do to change the system. Our guest, Laila Mickelwait, has started a petition with over 1.5 million signers hoping to hold Pornhub accountable for profiting off of illegal videos on their site. She has dedicated much of her career to raising awareness of human trafficking and is the Director of Abolition for Exodus Cry, founder of the #Traffickinghub campaign, and President and Founder of New Reality International.   Where else you can find us: SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7xZ5JXfRybUqWL2J9Zggew?si=0hc4o8b5RNmNWdxRvN9vTw APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bbxx-lets-get-intimate/id1439909189 INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bbxx.world/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/bbxx_world FACEBOOK: https://m.facebook.com/bbxx.world PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.ca/bbxx_world/

Would you like to be more involved with BBXX? Sign up here [https://bbxx.world/] to be a part of our brand new BBXX platform—a.k.a. your go-to resource for all things intimacy & relationships! You can find the show notes and more resources here https://bbxx.world/podcast/episode-48-standing-by-vs-being-an-ally/  This is the second episode [of four] in our series exploring culture, the media, and sexual exploitation in the U.S. “Rape is not exclusively the product of a few bent and twisted minds but a result of [cultural] belief systems.”  In this week's podcast interview, we discuss the effects of the “rape myth,” the limitations of sexuality and rape-supportive beliefs, the influence of media violence, and the implications of the acceptance of violence against women.⁠ Our guest Neil Malamuth is a professor of social studies and communication at UCLA and interdisciplinary social scientist who studies violence and conflict. ⁠ This episode contains a trigger warning.   Where else you can find us: SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7xZ5JXfRybUqWL2J9Zggew?si=0hc4o8b5RNmNWdxRvN9vTw APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bbxx-lets-get-intimate/id1439909189 INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bbxx.world/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/bbxx_world FACEBOOK: https://m.facebook.com/bbxx.world PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.ca/bbxx_world/

Our interview with filmmaker Benjamin Nolot is the first in a series of four interviews that explore the relationship between culture, representations of sex in the media and in porn, and sexual exploitation. This interview starts the series off by exploring hookup culture through the lens of one of his documentary films. We begin to examine patterns of the media and social influence—and to understand how strong their power is over us, whether we realize it or not.

Vitale Buford teaches us about the deeper issues that perfectionism stems from. We learn about its relationship to self-worth, personal criticism, codependency, abandonment, and its role as a coping mechanism. We also discuss the danger of living a life focused on trying to please others and, particularly, the consequences of living your life without really knowing who you are.

Without realizing it, most of us don’t use these words correctly. While envy tends to seem like just a stronger version of jealousy, the psychology and meaning behind it are of important difference. We love to examine the way that subtle linguistic differences can shape the way we communicate and connect with one another :) 

Do you know the difference between giving thanks and expressing gratitude? While similar in some ways, the use cases for each are different and, as always, we love to examine the way that subtle linguistic differences can shape the way we communicate and connect with one another :)

We dive deeper into our discussion of anxiety and self-care as we discuss boundaries, meditation, mindfulness, and journaling with Rashawnda Williams. An expert in self-care, she shares easy, practical steps and actionable advice and tools to deepen your self-understanding and self-development. “Self-care isn’t selfish” might sound cliché but it also happens to be extremely important, healthy advice to live by!

Want to learn how to meditate? Struggling with boundaries during the pandemic? Battling anxiety? We talk with our favorite anxiety coach, Amanda Huggins, about joy vs. happiness, meditation for dummies, and the importance (and complexity) of setting boundaries in your life and your relationships.  If you've learned something from us, please take one minute to rate and review our podcast!

We talk with Dr. Earl Turner about accessibility and equity in mental health. We learn about new guidelines focused on intersectionality (gender, age, sexual orientation, etc) as well as new guidelines focused on race and ethnicity. We also discuss stigma as an obstacle to treatment, how to normalize mental health care, the importance of role models, and society’s treatment of the black community. Dr. Earl Turner is a licensed psychologist and professor in Los Angeles. He is a member of the and the American Psychological 
Association (APA) and the Association of Black Psychologists (ABPsi), and he was recently elected as the 2020 President of the Society for Child and Family Policy and Practice (APA, Division 37), making him the first African American male to be elected to this position.

Hablamos de la diferencia entre el sexo y la sexualidad, las dinámicas de la sexualidad, la vergüenza y la liberación, la mente como nuestra herramienta más poderosa, el rol clave de la comunicación, la importancia de conocernos a nosotros mismos, y la definición de la intimidad. Nuestra invitada, Michelle Pollmann, es una psicóloga chilena especializada en terapia de pareja con sede en Santiago de Chile. 

We learn about the history of cohabitation and its impact on marriage vs. divorce and we talk about the evolution of societal norms, gender roles, and hookup culture. Arielle Kuperberg is a millennial generation sociologist whose research examines how social norms in romantic relationships have changed since the ‘60s, with a focus on the intersection of work, family, and gender. 

What does it mean to lie? What does it mean to tell the truth? And what about the gaping grey area in between?  Our guest this week, Judi Ketteler, is a storyteller and award-winning writer who has had her work featured by publications such as The New York Times and Runner’s World, among others. She is the author of three non-fiction books, the most recent of which we will be talking about today, called, Would I Lie To You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies. 

This is the fourth and final episode in our series exploring culture, the media, and sexual exploitation in the U.S.  We started off the series and now wrap up the series by interviewing documentary filmmaker Benjamin Nolot, who is also the Founder of Exodus, an organization fighting to end sexual exploitation and the billion-dollar industry that profits from sex trafficking. 

This is the third episode [of four] in our series exploring culture, the media, and sexual exploitation in the U.S. We learn of shocking stories…

"Rape is not exclusively the product of a few bent and twisted minds but a result of [cultural] belief systems."  In this week’s podcast interview, we discuss the effects of the “rape myth,” the limitations of sexuality and rape-supportive beliefs, the influence of media violence, and the implications of the acceptance of violence against women.⁠ Our guest Neil Malamuth is a professor of social studies and communication at UCLA and interdisciplinary social scientist who studies violence and conflict. ⁠ This episode contains a trigger warning. 

When I decided to watch Boogie Nights with a few friends, I was expecting a comical satire of the porn industry in the ’80s. I was surprised to find that, instead, it was a less comical yet much more profound cultural statement piece that I had expected.

Studies of highly creative people and highly successful people, such as the one by the psychologist bestselling author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, have shown that a dynamic set of seemingly opposing characteristics is a very important part of what makes them tick. “Contradiction” or perceived cognitive dissonance is hard for our brains to process, so we often categorize the world and people into boxes, think even of our of ourselves as being either at one or the other end or the other of the spectrum for many personality traits. The world isn’t so simple and neither are we. The good news is that our “contradictions” can actually be quite complementary, not only to each other but to our success in life.

Whether it’s meeting a new person or talking to someone in our family, there is a point at which (even well-intentioned) questions can come across as uninvited criticisms. How do we walk that fine line while trying to learn about someone else or draw it ourselves when someone else has stepped over our own boundaries?

Our interview with filmmaker Benjamin Nolot is the first in a series of four interviews that explore the relationship between culture, representations of sex in the media and in porn, and sexual exploitation.  This interview starts the series off by exploring hookup culture through the lens of one of his documentary films. We begin to examine patterns of the media and social influence—and to understand how strong their power is over us, whether we realize it or not. 

"One of my all-time favorite books and a life-changing lesson on communication." —Sasza Lohrey, BBXX Founder

Fact: big wins are impossible without the small wins along the way. "The journey is the destination" might sound cheesy but the reality is that we won't always make it to where we're trying to go. Even if we do, it's vital to acknowledge how much work we put in to get there; the big wins never feel as good if we haven't celebrated the small wins. 

There is no one single path set out for us. There is no single destination where we might end up and be happy. There is no one person that we could build an incredible relationship with. There is not just one "right" decision. And there is no one single version of who we are. ⁠Besides, how boring would it be if there were?⁠

Esta semana, conversamos con la emprendedora Estrella Jaramillo sobre la realidad actual de la tecnología orientada a mujeres, la importancia del lenguaje y la comunicación…