Last Session of the Day with The Psych Guys

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

The Psych Guys talk about grief and loss during the holiday seasons- a time that is supposed to be cheer-filled. The Guys talk about how hard it is to feel so out of step with the season.

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

If you like the podcast and want more content from the Lukin Center, please visit https://www.lukincenter.com/Make sure to subscribe to our podcast, Last Session of the Day. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3xGJLLL...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...

The psych guys discuss 'parts work'; an interesting way of working with clients that is grounded in Gestalt psychotherapy theory. Tim discusses how he utilizes parts work with clients in order to have different parts of his clients' selves work better together. This type of work is deep and complex, but the psych guys give some practical takeaways on how you can understand your self (or selves) better.

It is common that people enter therapy following a recommendation from someone else. Specifically, it is very common that men are encouraged to seek treatment from their significant others and may have lots of mixed emotions about it. The psych guys discuss this and offer some insight to men out there who are being asked to go to therapy by their wives.

Today the psych guys dive into a common difficulty they hear about in the therapy room; people dealing with an unforeseen change and a loss of a piece of their identity. Tune in to hear the best ways to prepare for some of these events, and how you can make the most out of these difficult life changes once they happen.

Today the psych guys discuss two different ways of looking at psychotherapy; treating pathology to become functional, and implementing techniques in order to thrive. As always, they discuss their views and thoughts about these two different ways of looking at psychotherapy in their transparent, open dialogue.

Today the psych guys 'pull back the curtain' and discuss how oftentimes they notice that they might be putting in more effort than the client. They discuss these dynamics and discuss how a great deal of effort can lead to a great deal of change.

Today Dr. Lukin, who is originally from Ukraine, speaks about how he conceptualizes, copes with and understands the conflict in Eastern Europe. Konstantin and Tim speak openly and candidly about the recent troubling events and discuss how this conflict can be viewed from different levels by drawing from Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Today the psych guys talk about a recent change: mask mandates being lifted in the Tri-State area. Although this may seem like a welcome change, the psych guys shed light on the fact that this change can lead to anxiety and uncertainty. They discuss these recent events and share their personal and professional thoughts about how this change influences all of us in different ways.

Today, the psych guys discuss their personal struggles and successes with increasing motivation to exercise. In this episode, the psych guys pull back the curtain and discuss their own personal motivational strategies, diving into their personal mindsets about fitness.

Today the psych guys discuss how time is perceived, and illustrate how you can utilize this knowledge and understanding of time to your advantage to get the most out of this precious commodity.

Many people struggle with the anxiety and panic that midlife crises bring. During this episode, the psych guys discuss their professional and personal experiences with midlife crises and offer insight on effective ways to re-frame this stage of life in order to get the most out of it.

Today the psych guys open up a discussion about the difficulties associated with unwinding and truly taking time off during vacation. As always, they offer helpful tips and concepts to incorporate in order to make the most out of your time off.

Today the psych guys dive into a common conversation they have with clients- quality of life. Our perceptions of quality of life with work/life balance are always changing, and the psych guys dive into this conversation and offer new ways to think about how individuals can take control over their quality of life.

Today the psych guys discuss a common misconception about therapy. Therapy is not a procedure or treatment that is done to patients, like getting a cavity filled, instead therapy is a process that requires a great deal of work on the client's end. The psych guys discuss why this misconception is so common and what needs to be done on both the therapist's end and the client's end to truly make therapy as beneficial as possible.

The psych guys dive into a recent event; Peloton's decline in stock price following the Sex and the City episode where a character has a heart attack after using the exercise equipment. The psych guys use their knowledge of cognitive behavioral therapy and theory to understand how people make decisions based off of their automatic thought processes.

The psych guys discuss how anxiety exists in our 'old' brain and the difference between 'new' brain and 'old' brain. Following their explanation of how our two brains work differently, the offer a new understanding of anxiety and how it works inside of our heads.

Today the psych guys opened up a conversation about an unconventional way to overcome issues, problems, dilemmas- not trying! They discuss the powers of deepening awareness to allow answers to come to us from within rather than trying incessantly to find the answer.

The psych guys open up a conversation about how Dr. Lukin started and founded the Lukin Center for psychotherapy. They discuss the difficulties, challenges and rewarding aspects of starting a private practice from scratch.

Today, as the holiday season is approaching, the psych guys discuss common difficulties they hear about during the holidays. They open up a conversation about how toxic positivity is part of the holiday season and how we can see holidays as both enjoyable and stressful at the same time.

Are you struggling with daylight savings time? Darker months don't have to be depressed months. As daylight savings time ends, the psych guys discuss the change of the amount of sunlight per day and how they think about it and work with clients struggling with the change.

This week, the psych guys do a Q&A from listeners posting questions where they explore how a therapist handles their emotions, discuss whether they like their clients and explore how they are different in and out of the therapy room.

In today's episode the psych guys discuss three topics that Tim implements in all of his treatment: Distress tolerance, Mindfulness, and the 3 pillars of an effective relationship.

In today's episode the psych guys discuss three topics that Dr. Lukin implements in all of his treatment: Distress tolerance, Mindfulness, and the 3 pillars of an effective relationship.

The psych guys continue to explore the various ways that fitness and mental health interact. They give opinions and insight on their thoughts about group vs. individual exercise, differences on how men and women tend to exercise and open up a conversation about how overcoming physical challenges and emotional challenges can be similar.

The psych guys open up a conversation about something they hear often- people diagnosing themselves from what they find on the internet. The psych guys talk about the pros and cons of doing this and offer some clarity on what truly constitutes a mental health diagnosis

Tim and Konstantin open up a conversation about how painful life events (traumas) can be the root causes of many issues that you may be dealing with on daily basis.

This week the psych guys invite Debbie Marielle Elzea, Intimacy Specialist for Women from More Intimacy and discuss her take on intimacy within relationships and how women can re-think about how they can relate to their male partners to spice up the bedroom and increase connection.

Mark Bonanni, the Vice President of business development from BlueCrest recovery center stopped by and we opened up a great conversation about very common difficulties with substance abuse, how to recognize it and potentially what to do for it.

We often wondered how people out there perceive therapy in the movies vs. real life therapy. Today Konstantin and Tim discuss where the movies get it wrong.

A discussion on family, work, self-care, and the struggles men go through. Most people don't say they want to “be perfect.” But everything else they say sort of points to that intention. There are points in life when it's time to reevaluate our priorities --- depending on the stage of life that we're in. Example: An older gentleman has diligently saved his money his whole life, and now in retirement, he doesn't know how he'll be able to spend it. So how should we fill up each “bucket” of our life the exact right amount? Different important “buckets” of life: Work Education Family Relationship Self-care Friends/leisure When we anticipate transitions in life, we can plan for them and deal with them more easily. Oftentimes, people strongly identify as parents. So when the kids go off to college, there's a real grieving process to go through. In older individuals, legacy is an important bucket. A lot of our identity is tied to these areas of our lives, and when they change, it can be uncomfortable. The upshot? Try not to be too rigid. Understand that the buckets of life will change. Talk about them, be open, and be willing to have identity flexibility. So can you be a 'perfect' man? Yes. If by that you mean being flexible and adaptable. 

Being alone for the last year  has made people re-prioritize.We're re-thinking things like:  “What is essential for happiness?”  “What is essential as far as connecting well with a partner?” “Conversation is the new sex,” explains Michelle. When dating, some topics are easier to cover over Zoom. We can relax and ask the deep questions that we might not ask in person. Sometimes we misjudge people on phone calls --- we can't read facial expressions, we don't always pick up on tone, etc. Michelle gives several tips on dating over video calls including how to angle your camera so it's most flattering, and several activities to try with your new partner. Learn more about Michelle Frankel's matchmaking work here:https://nycitymatchmaking.com/meet-the-matchmaker/

Pop-psych articles often talk of strategies to reduce or outright eliminate our anxieties altogether. They'll say to be hyper-vigilant and give typical advice, and let's face it, in 2021, we could all benefit from some anxiety reducing techniques every now and then. But on the other hand, directing our awareness towards our fears can often help us make effective decisions. In this way, anxiety can serve a purpose, it causes us to take steps and do the right thing. Rather than try to be happy all the time and never anxious, we should think of our anxiety level as a thermometer, and try to calibrate it properly. Too hot and we can be paralyzed with fear. Too cold, and we can get “stuck” and not take meaningful action. If a feeling is impacting social functioning for example, or if it's leading to risky and/or unsafe behavior, then those are signs of functional interference. But we don't need to be “fixing” every single feeling that we feel. They key takeaway --- if we try to really understand our feelings and why they're there, we can learn a lot about ourselves.Related reading:Anxiety Free: Unravel Your Fears Before They Unravel YouBy Robert L. Leahy Hay House; 2nd edition. 2010.

How do therapists deal with issues that come up if those issues “poke strongly” at something they believe in?Therapists are not robots. We have our own thoughts and feelings and beliefs about things --- just like everybody else. And therapy is a very unique relationship --- unlike any other in the world. Sometimes it takes some getting used to. Therapists must be mindful of what's coming up for them at all times. If we are not mindful, and those feelings color our words, then it will be problematic. So when a client shares a potentially controversial thought/feeling/belief, we look back to the two pillars of a mental health disorder --- level of distress, and functional interference. We try to see the issue through that lens.Let's say a patient has very particular views about race relations and he or she is very vocal about that.Perhaps there was anger/trauma that occurred in the past there. We'll ask, does this view interfere with his or her functioning or distress? --- if yes, then we need to deal with it. In a weird way, we're able to side-step the particular view because we're getting to the heart of the issue. Always put your clinical hat on and think about internal distress and functional interference --- if it doesn't reach that --- it's more of a “non-clinical” issue. It might not be right, but it's not up to us to make that determination. Perhaps someone might be about to share a controversial opinion, and they might say, “well, I don't know how you feel about this…” We always say, “what we think/believe is not relevant.” Patients are always encouraged to speak freely.Feelings do come up for therapists, but we regulate them. What do YOU think your therapist thinks? We want to know. 

The “CBT Triangle” involves thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (and how they all relate to each other).  In CBT, we take a close look at our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and how each of them interact. We look at that interaction to try to explain how we are feeling, and to try to change behaviors. CBT can be great for anxiety, depression, and anger issues, but it's not super exploratory, meaning it often isn't great for longstanding trauma or addiction issues. It's more designed for symptom relief. In this treatment approach, there is a decent amount of homework. For example, you'll probably be asked to keep a “thought journal.” CBT is more than just having a conversation with a friend, it's tangible and it's goal-oriented. Sometimes, clients aren't always comfortable with this approach, and if that's the case, we'll use a different approach. One last piece of advice: Do your research and talk to potential clinicians, but don't rigidly think about treatment A vs. treatment B. This is not like medication. In therapy a seasoned clinician will often borrow tactics from multiple different treatment types. 

When we attempt to over-regulate our internal emotions, we might go for a run, exercise, count to ten, take a deep breath, burn candles, or take a hot shower. But we must recognize that we are individually trying to manage --- and many people over-rely on that strategy. When we verbalize our thoughts and feelings, on the other hand, there is power in that. It helps regulate how we feel. So if you need to vent, do it! But is venting always the answer? No. Some people use therapy just as a “venting room.” But as clinicians, we need to be more than just a friend, we need to push that person a little bit, re-contextualize a bit and start asking, “how can we start using other regulatory strategies?”The takeaway? We could all benefit from tuning into ourselves a little bit more, learning to cope and vent, and practicing regulating our emotions properly. 

Oftentimes when you dig deeper in people with addictive behavior patterns, you find a lot of trauma.Substance use is what we call a “solution behavior” --- meaning it's used to manage some kind of uncomfortable feeling. That's why we try to look a little closer. What feelings are we trying to manage/cope with here?When painful life events get stuck in us, they live there and they create sore spots. When those sore spots get poked, all of those feelings from those events come out. Then we have to do something about it. What do we do? Turn to drugs or alcohol often. But there are better ways to manage trauma and build resilience. This episode dives into several. 

People are having mid-life and quarter-life crises earlier and earlier. They might be feeling overwhelmed or feeling that their job is unsustainable.You could treat your mid-life (or quarter life) crisis as a problem --- but you could also see it as an opportunity to craft new experiences in your life. Try and treat it as a gift --- is your time being used in ways that align with your values?This is an opportunity to reflect, to game plan, and to open your eyes. We're not saying to quit your job and to move to a remote location and to fish all day. But we are saying that we should all be opening our eyes a bit more. It's easy to get caught into the trap of “gotta make it til the weekend.” But what a bleak existence that is. While it might be comfortable, that is not a fulfilling life. Also, we should all be in touch with our mortality. We will all die. And that is an uncomfortable thing to think about. But recognizing our mortality can help us make the most of our lives. One exercise can be to write your own eulogy. Who will be delivering it? Who will be in attendance at your funeral? This will help you articulate your values. Now ask yourself, are you living according to those values?There's no right or wrong answer. It's just an exercise into what's meaningful for you. This all brings our minds back to the here and now. And getting back in touch with what's really important. Always remember, you have the opportunity to make changes and feel fulfilled. 

Some of our emotion regulation is done in the body automatically, while some is up to you to manage. The amount of regulation is different from person to person. If you have very little ability of emotional regulation, your emotional swings might be more extreme --- like with impulse control disorders. Sometimes we can fall into a cycle of dependence to regulate our emotions. Drinking can be an emotional regulator --- but is it a positive one?How can we look at our problems rationally and not “catastrophize” everything?We strongly encourage everyone to Google “cognitive distortions,” look at these, understand them, and notice when we might be engaging in these behaviors. Other topics discussed include self soothing, phobias, dialectical behavior therapy, and reframing, among others. 

There's a lot of inappropriate shame and guilt in our society.  A lot of times depression is actually shame. A lot of times anxiety is actually shame. Why do some who should feel ashamed not? Why do others feel shame that's unwarranted? What level of shame and guilt is excessive? What level is appropriate? How can we follow the guidance of our emotions? Konstantin & Tim take on these topics and more. Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!The Lukin Centerhttps://lukincenter.com

Konstantin & Tim reflect on why and how they each got into the psychotherapy profession. How did influential professors help pave the way? What factors went into driving their personal interests in the subject? What motivates people to learn more about the inner-workings of the mind?Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!The Lukin Center:https://lukincenter.com

Episode 3 addresses what it's like to be a psychotherapist --- and a male psychotherapist in particular. What's it like to be a therapist? What's it like to be a male in a largely female-dominated profession? Are we constantly psycho-analyzing everyone all the time? Are we always "on the clock"? How do we balance private and and professional? What connotations come up when we tell new people about our profession? Is there a misconception that psychotherapists are able to "keep it together" at all times?Konstantin & Tim take on these topics and more. Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!The Lukin Centerhttps://lukincenter.com

Don't like working out the traditional way by yourself at the gym? Interested in how exercise can improve symptoms of depression? Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!Learn more about Colleen & Rachel's work at https://www.fitnesswithfriends.net/

Konstantin Lukin PhD & Timothy Meyer LCSW of the Lukin Center in New Jersey address some of the reasons why people might be afraid and or hesitant to seek psychological treatment. Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!Stay tuned for future episodes!