Language Alchemy Podcast

“The voices that belong to someone else are not our intuition, essential voice, or wisdom voice,” explains host Alejandra. Sometimes when we try to listen to our inner voice, we may also hear conflicting messages, such as insecurity or doubt, leaving us confused. Today, Alejandra explores how to work past unhelpful internal dialogue to connect to our authentic inner wisdom voice. On the road to transformative communication, listening to our own voice is key. Since we are human, it may be challenging to hear our inner voice's messages. In times of stress, we may get clouded by the language of family members, friends, or other authority figures whose opinions we value. However, it's essential not to let others' feelings get in the way of processing our own. By learning to identify and listen to our inner wisdom voice, we can work past the outside influences and understand what we truly want. Don't let the values of others overpower your own. When we hear voices that belong to someone else, they usually dictate to us a “right” and “wrong” way of behaving and being. When these times occur, we must ask ourselves if this voice is ours or belongs to someone else. By listening to our body's reactions to these messages, we can gain clarity about how we feel and the kind of person we wish to be. Quotes • “In our inner dialogue, we have lots of internal voices.” (2:16-2:20 | Alejandra) • “When voices belong to someone else, they usually message us rules to follow or “correct” ways of being and behaving.” (3:07-3:19 | Alejandra) • “The voices that belong to someone else are not our intuition, essential voice, or wisdom voice.” (5:18-5:27 | Alejandra) • “If the language has content about how you should be, how you should behave, or how the world is or should be, and you feel tightness and contraction, that voice is likely to belong to somebody else.” (5:38-5:54 | Alejandra) • “Our inner wisdom voice usually has deeper messages for us that go beyond a rule about behaviors or a “correct” way of being. Our inner wisdom voice tells us about deep needs and precious longings.” (6:25-6:42 | Alejandra)  Links To listen to Language Alchemy episode 78, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147847097 To join the mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com   Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI   Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“If you want to experience something new or different in your life and relationships in this new year, you need to be willing to do things you have never done,” explains host Alejandra. The first month of the new year is a terrific time to consider developing new habits and connecting to intentions. To celebrate this time of renewal, Alejandra examines helpful ways of exploring your path of transformation.  Often when our inner voice gives us messages, such as to stop people-pleasing or treat others more respectfully, we may get overwhelmed and quiet that voice down. Instead, Alejandra encourages us to listen to what this voice tells us and reflect on how we can make changes that lead us to a more harmonious life. By surrounding ourselves with people who also want more fulfilling relationships or by raising our awareness with transformative activities, we can set intentions that get us closer to what we want. If we listen to our inner voice, we can create or maintain useful habits that enhance our lives. Learn more about honoring your needs, the consequences of ignoring your inner wisdom, and how Alejandra connected to her own path of self-discovery and transformation. Quotes • “Have you ever had the experience of hearing an internal message? Maybe something like you need to stop over-pleasing others? Or do you need to learn to set healthy boundaries? Or do you need to be kinder and more compassionate with yourself and others? Have you ever had that experience? Of course, you have. I know that's a rhetorical question. Because if you're listening to the podcast, I know you have heard this voice, that inner voice that has been trying to get that message through to you. And perhaps it's been trying to communicate with you for a long time. Ears, maybe now, even though this voice has different names, some people call it intuition. Others call it the longings of your deeper heart, your essential voice, your wisdom voice, your soul, your gut, whatever you want to call it; it's important to know that that inner voice is a nonjudgmental and kind voice that uses very direct language to guide you.” (2:24-3:33 | Alejandra) • "If you've given yourself the time and space to reflect on the messages of your inner voice, you are now aware that these messages relate to the next step in your journey of growth or transformation.” (4:32-4:48 | Alejandra)  • “When you let your inner wisdom voice quiet down, you forget about its invitation, and your life experience continues to be the same.” (6:42-6:50 | Alejandra) • “If you want to experience something new or different in your life and relationships in this new year, you need to be willing to do things you have never done.” (9:12-9:21 | Alejandra) • “Your external day-to-day life or your external influences can be the ones directing your internal experience.” (10:05-10:14 | Alejandra) • “If you want to set healthy boundaries, stop over pleasing others, or start being more loving with yourself and others, look for groups of people who want the same thing and are taking steps towards what you want.” (14:35-14:50 | Alejandra)   Links To listen to Language Alchemy episode 25, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147661663 To download the proven roadmap to follow through on your intentions, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/followthrough To find out about the Language Alchemy Group Coaching Programs, visit https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching   Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Let this be the year you learn what you need to learn to have what you want in your relationships,” entreats host Alejandra. The new year is an event full of energy, momentum, celebration, and reflection. To take advantage of this special time, Alejandra encourages us to direct our awareness towards our relationships and reflect on how we would like them to transform in the new year. Before entering a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, we must reflect on how we would like to be in that dynamic. Although we may understand more about how we would like others to act, we must take accountability for how we contribute to our relationship experience. To continue our ongoing journey with mindful communication, Alejandra suggests creating a list of the communication skills and capacities we would like to work on for the types of relationships we want. The new year is a wonderful time to set intentions toward your relationships. Learn more about determining how you would like to be in your relationships, Alejandra's experience with relationship transformation, and her tools for learning, developing, and refining our communication capabilities. Quotes • “Life is a series of cycles and seasons.” (1:44-1:46 | Alejandra) • “The new year is a cycle that renews for the whole world.” (2:36-2:40 | Alejandra) • “I started to experience the kinds of relationships that were not just pleasant or nice, but that also were nourishing and fulfilling.” (6:49-6:59 | Alejandra) • “Each new year gives us the opportunity to learn, to develop, or refine new communication tools, new communication skills and capacities, and new communication intentions.” (10:05-10:18 | Alejandra) • “Let this be the year you learn what you need to learn to have what you want in your relationships.” (10:05-10:18 | Alejandra)   Links To listen to Language Alchemy episode 24, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147652632 To listen to Language Alchemy episode 25, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147661663 To join the newsletter, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/ To learn about the 3 options to transform your communication and relationships, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/ Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I know you have been learning, developing, and transforming your life and relationships. So give yourself the space to acknowledge yourself,” explains host Alejandra. In the last episode of 2022, Alejandra discusses the most critical aspects of the communication transformation process: celebrating our successes. Instead of focusing on what we still wish to change, Alejandra encourages us to take stock of our accomplishments and inner qualities. Although mastering communication is an ongoing journey, we must take the time to recognize how far we've come. If we take the time to work on a relationship, whether with someone else or ourselves, we need to recognize those successful interactions. After all, if we feel good about what we've been able to accomplish, our brains will process that, remain calmer, and consistently learn as time goes on. Appreciate your accomplishments as you enter 2023. Learn more about how our brains process positive affirmations, Alejandra's student success stories, and use the 5 questions Alejandra offers you to reflect on your own accomplishments.  Quotes • “As we enter adulthood and maturity when we are in a journey of transformation, it's very important for our brains to not only recognize what's not working but also to acknowledge what has worked and what we have accomplished.” (3:08-3:26 | Alejandra)  • “It is very important that you take the time to acknowledge your capacities, qualities, successes, and abilities to communicate with clarity, confidence, and compassion.” (6:11-6:25 | Alejandra)  • “I am and will be a communication student until my last breath.” (12:15-12:20 | Alejandra)  • “Recognize what you've been able to do in your relationships and life with your communication. Your brain needs this, and your future self will be deeply thankful.”(14:27-14:41 | Alejandra) • “I know you have been learning, developing, and transforming your life and relationships. So give yourself the space to acknowledge yourself.” (17:06-17:16 | Alejandra)   Links To share your transformation and get the 9 Crucial steps to prepare for an important conversation, visit: https://languagealchemy.socialv.io To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“We communicate in the way we learned to communicate, which means we can unlearn it,” explains host Alejandra. When Alejandra was a child, her father would tell her about a story of a scorpion who could not change his venomous ways due to his nature. Finding this story inaccurate, Alejandra shares how we can modify our behaviors in social interactions and communicate consciously. In the scorpion story, the scorpion couldn't help but sting the frog he asked for help, simply because he was a scorpion. While finding this a bleak and untrue message, Alejandra reminds the listeners that we can act differently if our habits no longer serve us. If we hear someone say something we do not like, we can choose not to react negatively or unfairly. Through self-reflection, we can understand our behavioral patterns and make helpful adjustments that lead to better results. As adults, we always have the power to change. Learn more about the truth about human nature, why we can't control others' behavior, and how to do something different if you're not getting the reactions you want. Quotes • “We don't have to go along with our personality structures or habits. If we are aware of our personalities and behavior and communication patterns, we can choose to say or do something different.” (7:49-8:05 | Alejandra)   • “We communicate in the way we learned to communicate, which means we can unlearn it and learn many different new ways that can give us different results.” (8:16-8:27 | Alejandra) • “I'm not the same person I was ten or five years ago. I bet the same is true for you. I have a greater capacity to communicate and to decide How to behave. And I bet you too. And I've seen so many people I've worked with do the same people who, like the frog, trusted others who were supposed to be, quote-unquote, enemies, and they were not let down. In fact, they were supported and loved. I've also seen and worked with people who behaved like scorpions and made tremendous changes in their lives and chose not to sting others. Again, you are not the way you behave or the way you communicate. Because you like me, and all of us, you are a human adult who has choices.” (9:49-10:45 | Alejandra) • “You can learn to do or say something different. If you give yourself the gift and space to reflect on this and journal, tap into your wish to have a different outcome.” (16:31-16:45 | Alejandra)  • “You are a capable, loving, and compassionate human adult who has the ability to choose.” (17:43-17:51 | Alejandra)  • “You can choose to do or say something different, especially when what you've been doing no longer works for you.” (19:04-19:14 | Alejandra)    Links To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To found out about your greatest self-sabotaging communication habit, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Just as humans often need help figuring out how to live their best lives, humans often need help helping their animals figure out how to live their best lives,” explains guest Shannon Bolt. As an animal care business owner and operator, Shannon understands animals deeply, particularly dogs and cats with behavioral needs. Today, Shannon and host Alejandra discuss tangible ways to communicate with our animals to enhance harmony in the home.  When we speak to our pets, we often use words and tones that would be effective with other humans, rather than animals. We may believe that yelling at our dogs or cats will work, but this often leaves them in a position where they are confused and not sure what to do instead. By learning the constructive consequences for our animals and understanding their communication style, we can strengthen our bond with our fur babies, and give them happier lives as a result. Although animals don't have the same language as humans, they certainly communicate. Learn more about the miscommunication between pets and humans, bridging the language barrier, and how to make your animals feel seen and safe. Quotes • “Just as humans often need help figuring out how to live their best lives, humans often need help helping their animals figure out how to live their best lives.” (2:37-2:43 | Shannon) • "Our animals don't have language. So, it makes it very hard for us to clarify to our animals what we think is happening, what we mean to communicate to them, and how we interpret their communication as well. (4:52-5:12 | Shannon) • "Our animals communicate with us all the time, and we are also communicating with our animals all the time. That doesn't mean the messages always come through on the other end." (5:12-5:23 | Shannon) • “We think that by yelling at our animals, that they're being bad, that that's an effective way because our animals don't want to hear that from us. We think yelling is an effective consequence. And that consequence just doesn't land for animals the same way that it might, if we were communicating to an animal with language, right, they don't perceive our judgment and disapproval, necessarily, in the same way that another human might. So that's not to say that they don't sense it. They don't necessarily know what to do with that feedback. And another thing is that when we're only telling our animals what we don't want them to do, they don't know what we want them to do instead. And so we're not helping them understand the other options.” (12:45-13:38 | Shannon)  • “We have to be conscious of the fact that when we respond to demand behavior, we get more demand behavior in the future. That might make us want to think about anticipating our animals' needs before they have to demand it from us.” (20:45-21:01 | Shannon)  • “If you have enough awareness about what's going with your dog, and what's going on in the environment, you can get a lot further than if you are letting yourself be distracted.” (34:08-34:19 | Shannon)  Links   Connect with Shannon Bolt: Shannon's Domestic Animal: https://www.facebook.com/DomesticAnimal Shannon Bolt's email: shannon.e.bolt@gmail.com To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Until you do something, sometimes you just don't know what the result will be,” explains guest Britt Bierly, Alejandra's dear communication student, and coaching client. Coming out requires bravery and skillful preparation, no matter the circumstances. Today, Britt and Alejandra discuss the coming out communication process and growing our confidence authentically.  When Britt came out to his parents as a trans man, he allowed them space to react, work through their feelings, and make a positive change. Now able to be himself with his family and at work, Britt can confidently exist in the world and be the leader he is meant to be. By genuinely listening to others and having conversations, Britt can connect to the people around him and make a positive difference in the workplace. Coming out is an act of courage that requires sensitivity and space. Learn more about Britt's coming out journey, providing room for reactions, and having the confidence to be yourself. Quotes • “I needed to come out as a trans man to my family. I have an awesome relationship with my partner, and they've been really supportive. And I knew that I needed to extend that out to other people. Just having that sense that you're not in complete alignment, you're living one way well in one space and another outside of that. And I just wanted to have a better relationship with my parents because, you know, hiding  doesn't work in the long run. So I was working with you to kind of come out in part because everything in my life has always been kind of connected.” (3:32-4:11 | Britt)  • “Until you do something, sometimes you just don't know what the result will be.” (5:42-5:47 | Britt) • “The ability to look at situations and know what I see and pull it apart as opposed to not having any idea what's going on is a big change. It helps in conversations or stressful situations. It makes a big difference if you can look at it differently and review it.” (13:00-13:22 | Britt) • “On good days, I can verbally empathize and not just sound like I'm a robot repeating backward.” (14:10-14:17 | Britt) • “If you're ever questioning yourself about something, just do it. Question after the fact and see how it turns out. It's probably the bigger payoff to stop with the questions and do what you need to do.” (16:54-17:04 | Britt)  Links To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Engage in the Golden Rule by giving others the grace you want to receive,” urges host Alejandra. With the holidays almost here, Alejandra understands that we will see loved ones, which may lead to contentious communication. To ensure kinder interactions, Alejandra explores the golden rule and treating others with the empathy we all deserve. It is much easier to give ourselves grace than it is for other people. We know when we have good intentions, but when it comes to our friends and family, we often assume the worst. As a result, Alejandra shares how to look within ourselves to combat our biases and learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. After all, we're all human, and applying nuance can help us communicate more effectively and with more understanding. The Golden Rule is simple: treat others how you want to be treated. Learn more about the universal desire for grace, the bias-blind spot, and how we all need understanding. Quotes • “We don't consider the Golden Rule. We think of ourselves as complex, nuanced, multi-dimensional beings, who almost always have good intentions, and should be given grace.” (9:13-9:27 | Alejandra) • “We have a bias-blind spot towards others. We see others as simple, one-dimensional, clearly ill-intentioned and definitely deserving of being labeled, criticized, punished and blamed.” (9:35-9:56 | Alejandra) • “We think of ourselves as objective and reasonable. And we think of others as biased and unreasonable. And we use this bias to judge others more negatively than we judge ourselves. And the thing is that we do this without even knowing that we have this bias. That's why Emily Pronin calls it the bias blind spot. So we want to be given grace. And we want others to give us grace easily. But when it comes to us, giving grace to others, well, we find it much harder.” (10:10-10:50 | Alejandra) • “I encourage you to consider the Golden Rule and the bias-blind spot.” (17:07-17:12 | Alejandra) • “Remind yourself that you are human, and then show up with the other person with a heart full of grace, because after all, they are as complex, nuanced, and most likely as well-intentioned as you are.” (17:34-17:50 | Alejandra) • “Engage in the Golden Rule by giving others the grace you want to receive.” (18:39-18:45 | Alejandra) Links To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“While gratitude is a beautiful feeling, it can be a challenge when it comes to communicating it,” explains host Alejandra. With Thanksgiving coming up, gratitude will be emphasized across the United States. Understanding that this feeling can be hard to express, Alejandra provides easy steps for communicating appreciation for your everyday life. Often we use basic phrases to express gratitude, such as, “I'm grateful for all you do.” Although this is kind, its vagueness demonstrates our difficulty in saying how we really feel. We may find that communicating gratitude feels silly or that we struggle with vulnerability, but if we become more specific with why we're grateful, we can foster true connection. With Alejandra's three easy steps, you can express to your loved ones how much they mean to you. Learn more about communicating love, why gratitude isn't cheesy, and how to use the language of the heart. Quotes • “While gratitude is a beautiful feeling, it can be a challenge when it comes to communicating.” (1:51-1:57 | Alejandra) • “If you find it hard to express gratitude, it would be useful to explore the underlying beliefs you may have about gratitude. And also, check if these beliefs are yours or if they're inherited.” (5:21-5:37 | Alejandra) • “If you're finding it hard to experience or express gratitude, do some honest internal inquiry.” (9:02-9:10 | Alejandra) • “The language of the heart is simple. Yet, it's more meaningful and specific. And the language of the heart leads us to an experience of true connection.” (12:32-12:44 | Alejandra) • “Gratitude comes from the heart, and it's a feeling connected to the feeling of love.” (17:14-17:21 | Alejandra) Links: To listen to episode 56: Why Is It Hard to Communicate Feelings? Communicating Feelings Part 2, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147773324 To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When we reflect on ourselves, we see some aspects of ourselves with greater clarity,” explains host Alejandra Siroka. We all have communication behaviors that prevent us from having the relationships we want. With this in mind, Alejandra shares self-reflection practices that will allow us to break these patterns and communicate more effectively overall. With the holidays on the horizon, many of us may dread getting together with family and friends, which leaves room for challenging interactions. Before our upcoming get-togethers, Alejandra suggests looking within beforehand to evaluate our typical communication patterns with others. By reflecting upon what does and does not serve us, we can strengthen our interpersonal relationships and have positive social experiences. With Alejandra's communication self-reflection practices, we can find the kinds of relationships in our lives that we long for. Learn more about the best times of year for introspection, the benefits of meditation, and reflecting on our social intentions. Quotes • “If you'll be gathering with family and friends, engaging in communication and self-reflection is very useful before you get together.” (2:48-2:57 | Alejandra) • “When we reflect on ourselves, we see some aspects of ourselves with greater clarity. And ideally, with compassion and kindness, or at least with neutrality.” (3:02-3:14 | Alejandra) • “If you spend most of your time serving, witnessing, and reflecting on how others communicate with you instead of devoting the time and space to reflect on your own communication, then you're going to have a hard time because you can't control how others communicate.” (5:35-5:56 | Alejandra) • “Be your own witness and notice your intention, but please do this with compassion and kindness, or at least with neutrality.” (12:44-12:56 | Alejandra) • “If you make communication self-reflection a regular practice, it will transform the relationships you experience with your friends, your family, and at work.” (15:09-15:20 | Alejandra) Links To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Once you know what you say to yourself, you get to decide whether you want to keep saying this to yourself,” explains host Alejandra. Our inner critic and self-talk affect how we view ourselves and how we interact with others. Today, Alejandra gives tips on becoming more mindful about our internal dialogue to live a more fulfilling life. Whether we realize it or not, our self-talk influences our daily decisions, interactions, and physical body. Negative thoughts about ourselves can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies that reflect our worst fears. If we become more self-aware of how we speak to ourselves, we can alter our outlook and form authentic, positive self-expression. How you talk about yourself affects your relationship with the world around you. Learn more about morning and night mantras, evaluating your internal dialogue, and creating positive daily rituals. Quotes • “The way you talk to yourself does influence your interactions with others. But it also influences your mood, your decisions, your choices, your growth, your energy, your nervous system, your digestive system, in essence, your whole life.” (3:12-3:32 | Alejandra) • “I don't teach my communication students or clients affirmations that someone else came up with. I teach the wonderful people I support to find their authentic expression.” (7:46-7:57 | Alejandra) • “The more you listen to your internal dialogue, the more you'll pay attention to it, the more you will notice how it affects you, how it impacts your choices, how it influences your decisions, and how it influences your life.” (9:23-9:38 | Alejandra) • “I love talking about communication and what we experience when we communicate consciously.” (9:43-9:49 | Alejandra) • “Once you know what you say to yourself, you get to decide whether you want to keep saying this to yourself or whether there are other messages that you would like to give yourself that would be more supportive, more loving, or more respectful of you.” (13:28-13:45| Alejandra) Links To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I knew that if I became a US citizen, my voice would count more. And I could use my voice to help other voices count,” explains host Alejandra. Over the years, Alejandra has helped many people with their communication skills, but she didn't become a transformative communication expert overnight. Today, she shares her personal journey that shaped her and the lessons she learned along the way. When Alejandra first moved to the United States from Argentina, she somehow felt she was turning her back on her home country and family. When she became a U.S. citizen, she realized that her heart could belong to two countries and that becoming a citizen would make her voice count more. With this in mind, Alejandra urges all her American listeners to use their voices for good and vote in the upcoming midterm elections. What we learn from our personal experiences can lead to having a voice that counts. Learn more about Alejandra's move to the United States, her inner conflict with becoming a U.S. citizen, and how voting is the most significant transformative communication tool. Quotes • “I was part of a phenomenon called brain drain, which refers to the migration of educated or professional people from one country to another.” (4:04-4:14 | Alejandra) • “You can imagine how scared I was to become a citizen of another country. Well, I worked on this internal conflict for years. I wanted to be respectful of myself, my choices, my heart's longing, my spiritual path, and my life's journey. I also wanted to be respectful of my Argentinian family, my route, my ancestors, and my cultural background. Like many of the wonderful people I have supported over the years, when we have an internal conflict, We experience an inner split, in which one part of us wants to do one thing while another part of us wants to do something different. And unless we engage with our inner conflict with awareness, openness, maturity, and gentleness, we tend to see things as black or white and consider them as a zero-sum game.” (4:24-5:24 | Alejandra) • “I knew that if I became a US citizen, my voice would count more. And I could use my voice to help other voices count.” (5:47-5:57 | Alejandra) • “Through transformative communication, I have learned to have a sense of belonging to both countries.” (10:09-10:17 | Alejandra) • "The most transformative communication tool you may have access to is to vote. When you vote, your voice counts. When you don't vote, you let others make decisions.” (10:20-10:37 | Alejandra) • “If you are in the United States, and you do have the right, make your voice count, and vote on November eighth.” (11:44-11:53 | Alejandra) Links To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Something scary for a lot of people when it comes to communication is conflict,” explains host Alejandra. Although challenging others may frighten us more than our favorite horror movie, conflict can help us find common ground with others. In honor of Halloween, Alejandra shares how to deal with the fear of confrontation. Whenever we feel angry or hurt, we tell ourselves scary stories about the other person. We may feel confronting them is an act of war, leading to a never-ending fight, but conflict can be a positive. If we approach conflict like an opportunity to share our feelings with our loved ones and hear their side as well, we will no longer be afraid but be glad for the chance to deepen our relationships. The more we face our fears, the less scary they become. Learn more about understanding our inner dialogue, why we avoid fighting, and how to use conflict to connect. Quotes • “Something scary for a lot of people when it comes to communication is conflict.” (1:29-1:35 | Alejandra) • “People are scared of conflict because they equate the word conflict with “fighting.” And truthfully, this meaning of conflict is accurate.”(1:44-1:46 | Alejandra) • “It's completely understandable that if you see conflict as a fight, or a battle, one in which you have to take a stance of a position, one in which you're going to have to fight your enemy, conflict will be scary for you.” (7:15-7:31 | Alejandra) • “Wherever there are people, there's going to be conflict. When we can sort out these experiences to listen to one another with openness, what we find is not only our common humanity but also a deepening in our connection.” (9:18-9:37 | Alejandra) • “Don't be afraid of conflict, be ready for it. Because wherever there are people, there's going to be a conflict, but you are the one who gets to decide how to approach it.” (12:48-13:00 | Alejandra) Links To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When things are hard, I learned to use observational language in my internal dialogue,” explains host Alejandra. As a transformative communication teacher, Alejandra understands that it's human to feel triggered by challenging interactions. Instead of disconnecting from uncomfortable situations, Alejandra gives tips for when conversations become hard. Through exploring her personal experiences, Alejandra demonstrates how common it is to have awkward or upsetting interactions. We may act angry, embarrassed, or simply want to run away. To stray away from unhelpful reactive habits, Alejandra recommends connecting to our bodies and determining what actions we want to take that align with our values. Even when things are difficult, we should still practice mindful communication. Learn more about moving past defensive reactions, dealing with uncomfortable social situations, and the benefits of using observational language. Quotes • “When I faced hard things, hard interactions and conversations, not only did I not know how to communicate skillfully with a person with whom I had that difficult experience, but also, I didn't know how to not get taken over by the intensity of feelings, and stories I would make up in my mind in my internal dialogue. And then inevitably, habitually, the decision would be the same. And that decision was to disconnect, disconnect from everything from the other person and also disconnect from me by trying to do something that would offer me some kind of distraction from this difficult interaction.” (5:37-6:25 | Alejandra) • “When things are hard, I learned to use observational language in my internal dialogue.” (9:27-9:33 | Alejandra) • “Observational language allows me to consider the situation with clarity and neutrality. When I don't use observational language in my internal dialogue to recall what's hard, it's much easier to get hooked by reactive communication habits.” (9:59-10:17 | Alejandra) • “The more I connect to my values, the more I can connect my capacity to show up as an adult and choose to take skillful action based on my values.” (12:28-12:42 | Alejandra) • “Transformative communication does take work. But before we can take on all this work of transformative communication, we need to tap into a sense of openness and humility to learn.” (15:19-15:36 | Alejandra) Links To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When there's a true sense of connection in your relationships, you can offer feedback with transparency,” explains host Alejandra. Over the past few weeks, Alejandra has discussed building healthy relationship dynamics and given tools on how to do so. Today, she gives pointers for you to detect if your relationships have a genuine connection through her background as a transformative communication coach. Through real-life examples, Alejandra demonstrates what to look for when determining if you have authentic connections with others. A relationship requires trust that you can share your feelings and thoughts without fear of an adverse reaction. Everyone needs to feel like they can be themselves, and recognizing the importance of open communication is vital to a connected relationship. Ultimately, you should feel warmth around the other person, even if an inevitable conflict arises. Through four simple indicators, you can sense if you have a true connection in your relationships. Learn more about the importance of emotional safety, respecting other people's communication styles, and how all connected relationships allow for transparency. Quotes • “In my years helping people with our communication, I've seen again and again that to have a true sense of connection in your relationships, you need to have four main indicators. Number one, there needs to be a sense of emotional safety. That is to say that you and the other person feel completely free to share with one another what you think, how you feel, and what you value. And you feel free because both of you know that you're not going to be judged by the other and that you're both going to listen to each other.” (2:17-2:56 | Alejandra) • “There are different ways of being, and all ways of being are an expression of being human.” (5:41-5:58 | Alejandra) • “When you have a true sense of connection, not only do you feel more connected to yourself or the other person, but also to what you are doing together.” (7:18-7:28 | Alejandra) • “When there's a true sense of connection in your relationships, you can offer feedback with transparency. And you can also receive feedback with openness from the other person.” (10:17-10:30 | Alejandra) • “When you have a true sense of connection, you are willing, you are open to listening to their feedback, you can reflect on what you hear, and then you can let the other person know what you concluded from your reflection.” (10:31-10:48 | Alejandra) Links To sign up for 6-week online course Choosing True Connection: Learning to Listen Without Losing Your Cool, Taking It Personally or Giving Up Who You Truly Are, visit: languagealchemy.com/enroll To sign up for the free workshop Healthy Relationships at Home and Work: How to avoid the 3 most common communication mistakes, visit: languagealchemy.com/workshop To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When we are in a relationship, the combination of patterns that each member of their relationship brings forms a dynamic,” explains host Alejandra. When we experience difficulties in our relationships, we may be tempted to end them. Before doing something drastic, Alejandra lays out tangible tactics for improving challenging relationships. Through various examples of her real-life students, Alejandra breaks down the five signs that your relationship dynamics need to change. It's common to believe that you give more to a relationship than others or struggle to engage. Instead of blaming the people around you, evaluate how you are showing up in that relationship. In doing so, learning to cultivate the relationships you deserve is possible. It may not be easy, but sometimes shifting your relationships is necessary. Learn more about detecting unhealthy communication patterns, ways to connect with others, and how to improve your internal dialogue. Quotes • “When we are in a relationship, the combination of patterns that each member of their relationship brings forms a dynamic.” (3:30-3:30 | Alejandra) • “You must look into why you avoid engaging with the other person. Most likely, what you will find is that there's something in your relationship dynamic that needs to change.” (6:37-6:51 | Alejandra) • “If you notice that you don't know how to connect with others, and therefore you think that you don't know how to belong, that is a sign that you need to shift the kinds of dynamics you have in your relationships.” (8:20-8:35 | Alejandra) • “We're talking shifting a relationship dynamic. And to do that, you must clarify how you are showing up in the relationship. Because if you don't know how you are showing up, you will not know how to shift your communication or behavior and have the kind of satisfying relationships you deserve.” (14:05-14:30 | Alejandra) Links To sign up for the free workshop Healthy Relationships at Home and Work: How to avoid the 3 most common communication mistakes, visit: languagealchemy.com/workshop To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When life and relationships are frustrating, usually, it's because there's some kind of communication breakdown,” explains host Alejandra, a transformative communication coach. Although it's easier said than done, Alejandra understands that we all want satisfying relationships. In today's episode, Alejandra provides simple and effective advice for building healthier, more joyous connections with others. Often when we refer to issues in our relationships, we frame them with external factors and an expectation for the other person to change, a thought pattern from our childhoods. Instead, we need to observe our behavior and assess whether we are the ones leading the relationship to our own dissatisfaction. After all, relationships are a two-way street, and it's up to us to create the bonds we want. Now that we're mature adults, we can lead to more fulfilling relationships. Learn more about the physical toll of unhealthy relationships, the origins of relational language, and tips for improving your overall communication. Quotes • “When you are having lots of dissatisfying relationships, your nervous system is not the only one affected.” (1:40-1:47 | Alejandra) • “When life and relationships are frustrating, usually, it's because there's some kind of communication breakdown.” (4:13-4:19 | Alejandra) • “Since communication and relationships are a two-way street, we are the ones that need to know how we are communicating and behaving, creating dissatisfaction for us in our relationships.” (11:16-11:31| Alejandra) • “We are the ones that need to know what about our communication we need to change so that we can have more mature and satisfying relationships, having that kind of expectation, placing our attention on how we are communicating that's giving us the kind of relationships we're having. Well, now that's really going to help you have more of the relationships that you want and less of the relationships that you don't want.” (11:37-12:16 Alejandra) • “We're always communicating, but we're not always aware of how we communicate until there's a problem with it.” (14:21-14:29 Alejandra) • “You need to learn to shift your expectations and your attention. You need to learn to notice how you are communicating or not communicating, bringing you a sense of dissatisfaction in your relationships.” (14:40-14:53 Alejandra) Links To sign up for the free workshop Healthy Relationships at Home and Work: How to avoid the 3 most common communication mistakes, visit: languagealchemy.com/workshop To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To download the 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity Guide, visit: languagealchemy.com/5steps To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When you communicate any feeling skillfully, it is because you have been able to connect to its gifts,” explains host Alejandra. Although anger is a complex emotion to experience, there are many rewards for successfully communicating it. Today, Alejandra lays out how to adequately express this feeling and better understand our needs as a result. Often when we feel anger, we do not reflect on the messages this emotion is trying to tell us. However, if we take a beat to understand this feeling, we can determine our desires that are currently being unfulfilled. Whether we long for peace, safety, or autonomy, if we listen to our anger, we can become conscious of what we need to do to move forward. If we communicate our anger skillfully, we can benefit from its gifts. Learn more about the deeper yearnings behind anger, why we should evaluate our reactive tendencies, and how to gain the benefits of clarity. Quotes • “When you communicate any feeling skillfully, it is because you have been able to connect to its gifts.” (1:35-1:42 | Alejandra) • “If we use the analogy of a tree, your thoughts are the leaves. Your feelings are like the branches that are held by something deeper. The roots of feelings are its gifts.” (2:32-2:44 | Alejandra) • “Sometimes anger is pointing to what your heart is yearning for, such as love, appreciation, collaboration. Other times, you will find that anger is clearly asking you to attend to needs such as respect, equality, consideration, or safety. I noticed that in certain situations, when I feel angry, I long for reciprocity of care, yet sometimes when I feel angry, I need space and autonomy. And in other circumstances, I want equality, peace, or an end to suffering for all. Once you become clear about what your needs or values are, you can make conscious decisions to take steps towards fulfilling them.” (3:05-3:53 | Alejandra) • “One of the gifts of anger is clarity. Anger lets you see what's important for you to talk about or what action you need to take.” (7:10-7:22 | Alejandra) • “Next time you feel angry, feel the feeling, and then learn to do the alchemical work of distilling anger until you can experience either or both gifts of clarity and strength.” (10:40-10:56 | Alejandra) Links To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Pattern quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz To download the 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity Guide, visit: languagealchemy.com/5steps To download the 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity Guide, visit: languagealchemy.com/5steps To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“It's possible to learn to communicate anger more skillfully,” explains host Alejandra. Anger, in particular, can be an intense feeling to experience and a challenging one to communicate. On today's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, Alejandra will provide helpful tools for communicating anger with greater awareness and skill. There are many misconceptions about anger, including believing that this anger equates to violence, aggression, or hostility. As a result, we tend to communicate our reactions, rather than the feeling of anger. If we can learn to put aside our reactionary tendencies and convey our true feeling, we can have an easier time communicating it. Although tensions may be high in the world today, there are healthy ways to communicate displeasure. Learn more about healthy ways to express yourself, the models of anger you may have received during childhood, and why we do not need to feel ashamed for feeling angry. Quotes • “It's possible to learn to communicate anger more skillfully.” (1:40-1:43 | Alejandra) • “It is possible to communicate when you feel angry skillfully. And yes, it is okay to communicate while you are experiencing anger.” (2:53-3:03 | Alejandra) • “Sometimes what we learned to call anger is not anger, but an expression of violence, aggression, or hostility.” (9:41-9:52 | Alejandra) • “If you want to communicate anger skillfully, you need to learn to have the feeling of anger without the reaction of hostility, aggression, or violence.” (11:10-11:20 | Alejandra) • “If you want to communicate anger skillfully, leave the reaction aside and just communicate what's going on with you on the inside.” (14:45-14:54 | Alejandra) Links To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To download the 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity Guide, visit: languagealchemy.com/5steps To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“One of the fundamental Language Alchemy principles is that our words create our worlds,” explains host Alejandra. It's part six of the “Communicating Feelings” series and the last episode about this topic. For the final lesson, Alejandra details how to have emotional autonomy and healthy relationships. In our relationships, we often believe that the other person is causing us to feel a certain way, whether good or bad. This attitude creates an unequal balance and gives our loved ones too much authority over our lives. By owning our emotions and labeling the situation rather than the person, we can create healthier dynamics with the people around us. Although it may seem complicated, you can choose how to communicate your feelings and have non-toxic relationships. Learn more about what inspired the “Communicating Feelings” series, demonstrating emotional agency and dealing with co-dependent relationships. Quotes • “One of the fundamental Language Alchemy principles is that our words create our worlds.” (4:04-4:11| Alejandra) • “Our language shapes our experiences, our lives, and our relationships.” (6:37-6:43| Alejandra) • “As I shared in previous episodes of the series because we constantly have feelings, we use our language to communicate our feelings. But do we use it in a way that communicates emotional autonomy or emotional agency and therefore creates healthy and mature relationships? In my experience, not yet. The way we usually communicate about feelings in the English language does not really convey emotional autonomy or agency, and therefore, it doesn't create healthy and mature relationships. In fact, we tend to communicate feelings in a way that creates codependent relationships.” (7:09-7:51| Alejandra) • “You can use your language to communicate your feelings in a way that that you have emotional autonomy, emotional agency and that your relationship is healthy and mature, no matter what feelings you're experiencing and communicating.” (13:30-13:47| Alejandra) • “You are the author and agent of your feelings.” (14:01-14:05| Alejandra) • “As you communicate your feelings, you get to choose how to express them based on the kind of relationships you want to create.” (15:49-16:02| Alejandra) Links To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Notice how you use the word “feel” when communicating because your words create your world. So what kind of world do you want to create?” explains host Alejandra. Often, we use the word “feel” to express a thought rather than an emotion. In part five of the “Communicating Feelings” series, Alejandra provides tips for using emotional language to improve self-expression and communication. We tend to use the word “feel” when we want to express a thought, such as seeking an opinion or agreement, or disagreement from others. Instead, Alejandra suggests following the word feel with a feeling word to help ourselves and loved ones communicate our feelings more accurately. Although challenging, there are ways to communicate your feelings mindfully and clearly. Learn more about the difference between thoughts and emotions, how to use emotional language, and ways to deepen connection with others. Quotes • “Notice how you use the word “feel” when communicating because your words create your world. So what kind of world do you want to create?” (6:59-7:08 | Alejandra) • “When I use emotional language, we take the interaction to a deeper, more meaningful, more connecting level.” (9:52-10:03 | Alejandra) • “When we let others see our inner world, others have empathy for us. They're more able to put themselves in our shoes because they've also had those same feelings at some point in their lives.” (10:22-10:35 | Alejandra) • “When we can connect at a feeling level, we're able to talk about our needs, values, longings, and vision. And when we do that, we create a world of support, collaboration, and love.” (10:36-10:51 | Alejandra) Links To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com To ask a question or request a topic for the Language Alchemy Podcast, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I find that the people who feel the most disconnected are the people who have the least access to their feelings,” explains host Alejandra. When you don't communicate your feelings, it can negatively impact your relationships. Alejandra provides valuable tools to promote healthier dynamics in part four of her “Communicating Feelings” series. When we feel isolated and disconnected from others, it may be challenging to open up about our true feelings. When we cannot share, it becomes difficult for our friends and family to know how to give us what we need. By letting our loved ones hear about our day and listening more when they speak, we can find a much-needed sense of belonging and become closer to the people around us. Improving your emotional communication skills is possible if you would like to better connect to others. Learn more about the effects of the pandemic, letting loved ones into our inner world, and how to become better listeners. Quotes • “One of the impacts of not talking about our feelings is that others don't know what's happening with us. And if others don't know what's going on with us, then they don't know if there's anything we need or are likely to make assumptions about how we are and act accordingly.” (5:18-5:37 | Alejandra) • “So if you are now aware that you're not communicating your feelings to others, especially if these others are the most important people in your life, then you're not letting others know about your needs. And others are likely to make assumptions about you, assumptions about your feelings, assumptions about your needs, assumptions that may be far away from your reality.” (5:39-6:06 | Alejandra) • “I find that the people who feel the most disconnected are the people who have the least access to their feelings.” (6:41-6:49 | Alejandra) • “If you want to have intimacy, if you want a meaningful sense of connection with another human being, then you need to be able to invite the other person into your inner experience.” (8:11-8:22 | Alejandra) • “Sharing about your inner life, communicating your feelings, this is what contributes to meaningful relationships.” (9:44-9:51 | Alejandra) • “What we do when we don't communicate our feelings is that we don't know how to listen to others when they tell us about their feelings.” (10:21-10:30 | Alejandra) Links To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“From the Language Alchemy perspective, all feelings have their usefulness,” explains host Alejandra. Alejandra understands why we have specific reactions to uncomfortable feelings. In part three of her “Communicating Feelings” series, Alejandra teaches how to deal with these reactions and communicate effectively. Everyone has certain feelings they are more comfortable expressing than others. Some have no difficulty communicating sadness but may struggle to share joy and vice versa. Often, we can feel triggered by others who experience the feeling we push down and intolerant with those around us who express that emotion. With Alejandra's tools and tips, we can learn that all feelings are valid and become empathetic to ourselves and others. Although challenging, we can learn to react healthily to our complex emotions. Learn more about why emotions shouldn't be negative or positive, how we suppress uneasy feelings, and the transformative power of labeling your experience. Quotes • “From the Language Alchemy perspective, all feelings have their usefulness. They all carry messages about our internal experience.” (2:58-3:06 | Alejandra) • “Every time you take action to know yourself at a deeper level, you have the opportunity to be more authentic, not only with yourself but also with others, especially when you communicate with them.” (5:37-5:50 | Alejandra) • “When our reaction is to fight with our uncomfortable feelings, and we see that others have that feeling we don't like, then we tell the others not to have that feeling. And sometimes we shame them.” (11:35-11:50 | Alejandra) • “The language you use to label your experience has transformative power.” (13:19-13:25 | Alejandra) • “If you say, “I don't know how to feel this feeling, I don't know how to communicate this feeling, and I would like to learn,” then you'll start aligning your experience with the desire to feel that feeling. The more you align yourself with this desire, the less uncomfortable this feeling will become. And in time, you will learn how to communicate it skillfully.” (13:58-14:25 | Alejandra) Links To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“It's easy to communicate what we have learned to communicate,” explains host Alejandra. Alejandra has seen how difficult it is to communicate feelings throughout her career as a transformative communication teacher and coach. In part two of her “Communicating Feelings” series, Alejandra provides helpful tools that positively allow self-expression. Our teachers and parents were our primary communication influences when we were children. And we often learned evaluative communication skills but not much about communicating our emotional state. Ultimately, whatever we were taught when we were kids shapes our adult lives, but with practice, we can connect to our internal experience Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for an empathetic conversation on the challenges of expressing feelings. Learn more about why it's easier to communicate what you think versus how you feel, how culture influences communication, and actions you can take to connect to this area of your life. Quotes • “It's easy to communicate when we have learned to communicate. It's easy to communicate when we've had a lot of practice communicating.” (2:27-2:35 | Alejandra) • “One of the reasons why it's so difficult to communicate feelings is because you were not taught how to.” (6:26-6:32 | Alejandra) • “If you don't know how to connect with the emotional aspect of yourself, please understand that this is normal. You are perfectly normal because you communicate what you learned to communicate.” (9:36-9:51 | Alejandra) • “Depending on what feelings were accepted in your culture and layers of culture, you may have more ease communicating some feelings, but not others.” (12:18-12:26 | Alejandra) • “I had to learn to communicate my feelings too. So I know that if I could do it, you can too.” (16:15-16:22 | Alejandra) Links To participate in the podcast anniversary celebration and raffle, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“If you find it hard to talk about your feelings and communicate, you're not alone,” says host Alejandra. As a transformative communication teacher and coach, Alejandra knows that discussing your feelings is challenging. In part one of her internal communication series, Alejandra provides helpful tips for effectively sharing with others. Through tangible examples and inquiry exercises, Alejandra defines what feelings genuinely are and how we experience them in our bodies. By connecting to our internal communication system, we can understand what we're really experiencing to prevent miscommunication. Ultimately, we must listen to the messages our feelings tell us to understand better how we are and how to move forward. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy podcast for a thoughtful conversation on communicating your feelings. Learn more about what feelings are, the layers of our experience, and how to listen to your internal communication system. Quotes • “If you find it hard to talk about your feelings and communicate, you're not alone.” (1:17-1:24 | Alejandra) • “Feelings are messengers that communicate to us something important about our experience.” (6:42-6:49 | Alejandra) • “Feelings are a fundamental aspect of our internal communication system. And when we don't pay attention to them, we're having an internal miscommunication.” (6:59-7:11 | Alejandra) • “When you are aware of what your feelings are communicating to you, you can discover your unconscious biases and beliefs. You can uncover your precious needs. You can contact your core values, deep longings, qualities, and capacities, and you can turn them into skillful actions.” (8:37-8:58 | Alejandra) • “If you are the kind of person who's trying to optimize or upgrade your operating system without understanding your feelings, each upgrade will present more bugs and glitches.” (9:10-9:22 | Alejandra) Links To participate in the podcast anniversary celebration and raffle, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“You don't have to be a therapist, a coach, or a leader, you can just be a caring human,” Alejandra says of anyone using the many tools in her communication toolbox. True, a few of the seven listeners featured, who recently called in to comment on the way they approach Alejandra's content and how it's helped them, are actual therapists. Ellen, Alejandra's “mother-in-love,” remarks upon the divine timing of Alejandra's chosen topics, and she used many of the tools in a recent session with her own client. Shannon acts as a conduit for Alejandra's message, turning others on to the podcast. Rebecca demonstrates the importance of recognizing your communication needs and choosing among the resources accordingly, while Karen gains insight into different communication methods just from reading the titles of the podcasts. Alejandra follows up each example with a takeaway and a summary of what we can learn from each listener's approach to the podcast, and how the tools presented in each podcast can be optimally incorporated into our own lives. Join Alejandra to hear how you can be entered into a raffle to win prizes, including a private coaching session with Alejandra, and to receive a bonus at the end of the episode. Quotes • “To connect to your needs, you can ask yourself, ‘What's happening in my life and relationships right now, and how can I enhance, heal, and support my life and relationships?” (3:37-3:49 | Alejandra) • “Alejandra, I just really want to thank you so much for this work that you're doing. It's incredibly important to reach as many people as you are to raise the consciousness of how we communicate with each other.” (4:19-4:36 | Karen) • “The fact that your episodes are shorter and more accessible really makes that barrier to people getting into what you have to share a lot easier.” (9:48-10:00 | Shannon) • “Another way you can use this podcast to build your transformative communication toolbox is by subscribing to it every week, listening to it every week, so every week you're picking up tools and letting these tools integrate with you so much so that when the moment comes you can mix and match them and support others in their communication.” (8:02-8:24 | Alejandra)  • “When we transform the way we communicate, we transform our lives and relationships.” (11:39-11:45 | Alejandra) Links To participate in the podcast anniversary celebration and raffle, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Language sets you up for something meaningful,” explains host Alejandra. As many of you know, the Language Alchemy Podcast recently celebrated its first anniversary with a virtual party. Reflecting on the success of this fantastic milestone, Alejandra shares the three components of throwing a thoughtful and joyful event. As a transformative communication teacher and coach, Alejandra understands how language sets the tone for meaningful celebrations. By demonstrating how grateful you are for the people who show up for you, you can create a connection with your community and curate a positive experience for your guests. Whether you want your celebration to be tender, deep, or simply fun, how you interact with others is key. Tune into this week's episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast for a helpful conversation on throwing meaningful celebrations. Learn more about the podcast's live anniversary party, how language influences positive interactions and ways to express gratitude for the people around you. Quotes • “Language sets you up for something meaningful.” (5:36-5:40| Alejandra) • “If you want the celebration to be deep, you must be willing to be the first one to be deep. If you want the celebration to be tender, you need to be willing to be tender.” (6:02-6:13| Alejandra) • “A celebration is an expression of acknowledgment. It is an expression of gratitude.” (11:41-11:47| Alejandra) • “In this episode, I share with you three important elements to have in a celebration if you would like that celebration to be meaningful. These elements are number one, preparing your guests for a meaningful celebration with the language you use in the invitation. Number two, reflect on the meaningful characteristics you'd like the celebration to have and be willing to embody those characteristics through the way you communicate. And number three, expressing gratitude using a specific language.” (16:10-16:44| Alejandra) • “Next time you want to have a meaningful celebration, now you know how to use language alchemy to transform what could be an ordinary event into a meaningful one.” (16:46-16:58| Alejandra) Links To participate in the podcast anniversary celebration and raffle, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“In this country, because English is my first language, that could be seen as a privilege,” explains Nancy Kahn, Consultant, Coach, Trainer, Mediator, and host Alejandra's first Communication Teacher. In today's episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast, Nancy Kahn returns to discuss how to build a more caring work experience. Through Nancy's insights, the listeners gain valuable tools to disrupt harmful power dynamics. Nancy understands that attending to our most marginalized groups helps us all. If we treat others who are different then us with dignity and respect, we will inevitably ensure respect for all, including ourselves. By creating space for others in and out of the workplace, we can improve our communication with one another and build a kinder, more equitable world. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for an insightful conversation on creating inclusive work environments. Learn more about the role of power dynamics, the definition of an ally, and how to attend to harm and develop trust. Quotes • “In this country, because English is my first language, that could be seen as a privilege because somebody isn't going to question or put down how I'm speaking English when that happens to people in this country who don't speak English as their first language.” (3:00-3:21 | Nancy) • “An ally is somebody who may have the privilege and positional power, often people who might identify as white, or cisgender, or in any way that you may experience privilege in society.” (5:15-5:30 | Nancy) • “When harm happens, it doesn't mean that wrongdoing has happened. But it is important to be able to attend to the harm to restore trust.” (9:34-9:42) • “We need to develop the ability to self-reflect and to defend ourselves so that we don't arm up and shield ourselves and get reactive.” (11:59-12:12 | Nancy) • “We can learn from each other and create a culture where it's okay.” 17:10-17:16 | Nancy) Links To listen to Nancy's Radio program, click here: www.talkitoutradio.wordpress.com To find out more about Nancy Kahn's work, click here: www.compassnarratives.com To participate in podcast anniversary celebration and enter into the raffle, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I want to have my identity embraced. I also want to be authentic with people,” explains Nancy Kahn, Consultant, Coach, Trainer, Mediator, and host Alejandra's first Communication Teacher. Nancy helps individuals and teams learn and integrate communication practices and develops leadership and organizational systems aligned with anti-racist frameworks. A highly-skilled communication professional, Nancy shares her experiences in the field and the tools she uses to educate others. As a Black and Jewish woman, Nancy is well aware of how systems of power use language to maintain themselves, often by inciting fear. Through her work, she can use her own intersectional identity to relate to her clients with authenticity and empathy, understanding that everybody wants their experiences validated. Ultimately, she teaches people to communicate with co-workers who are different from themselves because it is better to check in with each other than make assumptions. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a stimulating conversation on building a caring work experience. Learn more about Nancy's impressive communication leadership background, how she uses her intersectional identity to discuss complex topics, and the importance of working through unconscious bias. Quotes • “People might not know what my background is. And I find it very important to tell people what I am so that if I'm communicating about things that relate to my ancestry, I want people to know why I'm sharing these things and why I can bring them forward.” (7:35-7:55 | Nancy) • “I want to have my identity embraced. I also want to be authentic with people.” (8:48-8:53 | Nancy) • “I just want us to be able to create and maintain inclusive spaces where people can bring all of their identities and not feel concerned, scared, uncomfortable, or judged.” (9:41-9:55 | Nancy) • “Any system that uses power over, whether it's a legal system, the government, even religious institutions, or law enforcement, there's a language that was developed to maintain those systems. And it's often keeping people reacting and responding from fear.” (17:15-17:37) Alejandra) • “I've had to look at myself making assumptions about people, and I've learned that it's better to ask somebody than make assumptions.” (21:08-21:19| Alejandra) Links To listen to Nancy's Radio program, click here: www.talkitoutradio.wordpress.com To find out more about Nancy Kahn's work, click here: www.compassnarratives.com To sign up for the podcast anniversary Zoom party, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When you know that feelings might be present in a conversation, then that conversation may be difficult for you,” explains host Alejandra. Although any topic of conversation can be hard to discuss, it can be even more challenging for those who struggle with vulnerability. In time for the Language's Alchemy Podcast's first anniversary, Alejandra provides the listeners with helpful tips on starting a tough conversation. The critical thing to remember when beginning a laborious conversation is not to call attention to the difficulty of the topic. By starting a conversation by saying, “We need to talk” or “Don't get angry,” we're preparing our loved ones to have an adverse reaction already. Instead, try approaching the conversation like it's important rather than challenging, and you will have an easier time communicating. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a clarifying conversation on how to start a difficult conversation. Learn more about the three common mistakes to avoid, more effective conversation tactics, and how to have stronger relationships with the people around you. Quotes • “A topic or a conversation that's difficult for one person is not necessarily difficult for another.” (3:09-3:16 | Alejandra) • “When you know that feelings might be present in a conversation, then that conversation may be difficult for you, and when something is difficult for us, we may start with tentativeness, fear, exaggerated caution, and even end up complicating things for ourselves and others.” (4:28-4:52 | Alejandra) • “One of the mistakes we make when we want to start a difficult conversation is that we say something like, we need to talk, or I need to talk to you. Now, if I say that to you, we need to talk. Most likely, when you hear those words, you get tense. You brace yourself. Or if you hear, I need to talk to you. Maybe you start getting ready to defend or to protect yourself. And if that is the case, it's going to be hard for you to stay open to me, be relaxed, and listen to what I like to say, right? Because of my words and the tone of my voice, we need to talk. I need to talk to you. They are already telling you something difficult or uncomfortable is about to happen.” (5:34-6:33 | Alejandra) • “If you want a less difficult conversation, avoid starting the interaction with “We need to talk, or I need to talk to you.” (6:34-6:45 | Alejandra) • “When you have an important conversation, this conversation can be beneficial for you and the other person because it can enhance your life, their life, and the relationship.” (12:00 - 12:12 | Alejandra) Links To sign up for the podcast anniversary Zoom party, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastanniversary To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“It's important to make a commitment to avoiding assumptions about people because of the way they look,” says host Alejandra. In honor of Pride Month, Alejandra explains the importance of personal pronouns. By demonstrating why they are used in speech, Alejandra gives insight into how to adjust your communication skills to be more inclusive. As a language teacher and communication coach, Alejandra understands that language is always evolving. When words are no longer an accurate reflection of our current world, it is natural for us to adjust. By using people's correct personal pronouns, whether he, she, they, or something else, we are demonstrating a respect for our human family and the wonderful expression of identity. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for an illuminating conversation on personal pronouns. Learn more about the different pronouns used in the English language, helpful ways to incorporate the pronoun “they” in daily communication, and how to use language to transform our world. Quotes • “It's important to make a commitment to avoiding assumptions about people because of the way they look. And to make sure that we're using people's correct personal pronouns as a way of respecting them.” (07:55-08:10 | Alejandra) • “Language is a living organism. And as such, it's constantly changing and evolving.” (10:36-10:43 | Alejandra) • “Our identity is way more complex than just a matter of preference or taste.” (17:20-17:26 | Alejandra) • “We can communicate and live in a world where all of us feel safe to express ourselves, including the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual members of our human family.” (19:17-19:40 | Alejandra) • “Remember, you and I can transform our world when we transform our language.” (20:14-20:21 | Alejandra) Links To learn more about pronouns, click here: https://pronouns.org/ To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Emotions, tantrums, or even lashing out at parents are okay and shouldn't be curtailed,” explains guest Brian Wood. Alejandra describes her friend Brian's communication style with his son as empathically mindful. Today, Brian and Alejandra discuss how other fathers can engage with increased emotional awareness right in time for Father's Day. Brian acknowledges that his father came from a generation that had difficulty expressing themselves, especially to their children. When he became a father, Brian and his wife worked to get tools and resources to ensure this dynamic wouldn't repeat itself. By looking at his son's non-verbal cues, Brian tailors his responses to be helpful to the development of his son. Tune into this week's episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast for a supportive conversation on improving fathers' communication. Learn more about Brian's relationship with his Dad, how parenting doesn't need to involve rewards or punishments, and why your kids need to feel loved no matter what they do. Quotes • “When building the communication of a relationship, it's important to look at non-verbal flags.” (14:19 - 14:26 | Brian) • “Emotions, tantrums, or even lashing out at parents are okay and shouldn't be curtailed. Everyone should be kept safe, but the child must undergo that process.” (14:44 - 14:58 | Brian) • "And then we'll sit with him and be with him and try to be there to connect with him. And when I see him pushing away because of what I said, like, you know, how does this feel to you? Or I'm like, “I'm getting a little too in there emotionally, then that's my cue to be like, maybe I'm just sitting with him, and maybe, I put my hand on his back as he's bearing his face in his pillow." (15:10 - 15:32 | Brian) • “What's nurturing is creating the connection between us wherever I can find some common ground for him.” (17:47 - 18:04 | Brian) • "I believe that kids need permission to be messy, loud, and annoying, and to know they are still loved.” (32:43 - 32:59 | Brian) Links To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“The lessons of history can help educators and students stand up to bigotry and hate,” says Brian Fong, Program Director for the California Facing History and Ourselves chapter. Through this organization, Brian works to help others engage in complex topics, such as race and sexuality. Ultimately, Brian aims to nurture an empathetically challenging environment to facilitate positive change. During his first year of teaching, Brian faced his blind spots through his diverse body of students. Realizing that he needed to become an upstander in society, a person who defends those different from them, Brian began his journey promoting inclusion. He encourages the listeners to have brave conversations that can foster change. Tune into this week's episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast for a straightforward conversation on disrupting the bystander effect. Learn more how you can respond as an upstander when you hear someone making an intolerant comment. Quotes • “The lessons of history can help educators and students stand up to bigotry and hate.” (3:40 - 3:45 | Brian) • “We can talk to one another to prolong a dialogue rather than shut down a conversation.” (14:49 - 14:56 | Brian) • "Being an upstander is tiring, and it's challenging. The more we can have allies and the more people are willing to embrace an upstander mindset, the less burdensome it becomes.” (28:05 - 28:18 | Brian) • “Let's find ways that we can be upstanders together because that will make it easier for this to be the norm, rather than by bystanding." (28:20 - 28:28 | Brian) • “The less we have opportunities to sit in each other's company to share our stories, the less we learn, and the more that we allow other stories and other narratives to be told about us rather than by us for one another.” (31:43 - 31:56 | Brian) Links To learn about Facing History and Ourselves and donate, click here: https://info.facinghistory.org/san-francisco-bay-area-25th-anniversary To view Loretta Ross Ted Talk, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw_720iQDss To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“You and I both can bring about equality and equity by using an inclusive language that decreases the impact of microaggressions for all the members of our human family,” explains host Alejandra. People who are members of marginalized groups experience microaggressions frequently due to other people's implicit biases based on things like their looks, skin color, disability status, religion, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Having experienced instances of microaggressions herself, Alejandra shares the most effective ways to respond when either experiencing or witnessing a microaggression. Most microaggressions aren't done intentionally and rather are caused by a person's hidden biases. If you're often on the receiving end of these types of interactions or you witness them frequently, there are several effective ways you could respond. You may choose not to respond due to concern for your own safety, shock in the moment, or simply not knowing what to say. There's nothing wrong with keeping quiet, but you may later regret not having spoken up about the microaggression impacted you. By having these strategies in your pocket, you can be more prepared to confront any microaggressions you encounter. The top four strategies for responding to microaggressions without being reactive are: asking for clarification, separating the person's intention from the impact it had on your emotions, challenging the implied stereotypes, and sharing your own learning process to explain why their words or actions were hurtful. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for an informative conversation about microaggressions, how they tie into implicit biases, and the long lasting impact they have on the recipient. Learn how to respond when you are on the receiving end of microaggressions or when you witness it happening to others. Quotes • “Have you ever had repeated experiences of people saying things to you or doing things in your presence, things that seem benign on the surface, but when you hear them you experience an internal Ouch, because what that person said excluded you in some way and made you feel like an other? In those instances you might have been experiencing microaggressions.” (1:35-2:03 | Alejandra) • “The impact of microaggressions can go beyond feeling hurt in the moment. There are many psychological studies that point to long term psychological issues, such as trauma, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation.” (15:54-16:10 | Alejandra) • “If you choose to keep quiet in response to a microaggression, it would be important to reflect on whether you would later on regret not having said anything, or maybe you can choose to say something later and communicate skillfully.” (17:25-17:43 | Alejandra) • “You and I both can bring about equality and equity by using an inclusive language that decreases the impact of microaggressions for all the members of our human family.” (23:41-25:54 | Alejandra) Links: To get the free guide 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity, click here: languagealchemy.com/5steps To save your spot for Choosing True Connection online course, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll To see Diane Goodman's strategies to respond to microaggressions, click here: https://dianegoodman.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Responding-to-Microaggressions-and-Bias-Goodman332.pdf To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To listen to episode 45 on Hidden Biases, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147737468 To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Unless we work on the messages we inherited, we just perpetuate them,” explains host Alejandra. After the murder of George Floyd, many people have reflected on what their hidden biases are and how these behaviors impact society. With years of this type of self-exploration, Alejandra breaks down the tools needed to reframe your internal dialogue and evaluate your views on racism and intolerance. Like most people, Alejandra was not always aware of how she internalized racist messaging. But for the past few decades, she has made a habit of listening to her internal dialogue and stopping herself when an intolerant thought seeps in. By practicing empathy towards others and sitting with the consequences of certain behaviors, we can move past society's lies and work towards making the world a more loving and connecting place. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a helpful conversation about uncovering hidden biases. Learn more about Alejandra's experience with hidden biases, why you should hold yourself accountable with your communication, and how self-exploration leads to positive action. Quotes • “Transformation starts within. My work with my hidden biases began by examining my internal language regarding issues of racism and intolerance.” (2:36 - 2:49 | Alejandra) • “Unless we work on the messages we inherited, we just perpetuate them.” (9:15 - 9:20 | Alejandra) • “When you do this work, what you find on the other side is more connectedness, capacity, and love in your heart, which moves you to take skillful actions.” (12:42 - 12:56 | Alejandra) • “How we use our language has the ability to help us evolve.” (15:50 - 15:55 | Alejandra) • “If we want to have a more tolerant and a more compassionate world for all of us, and by us, and especially referring to the precious Black members of our human family, then we need to do and continue to do the work that's needed to heal or to evolve or both. And this work starts at the most local level. And that is our internal dialogue.” (16:51 - 17:21 | Alejandra) Links To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

After the tragic murder of George Floyd, many people worldwide woke up to the importance of discussing race and equity. With a desire to respectfully navigate these critical conversations, many clients sought host Alejandra's communication advice. As a result, Alejandra promotes literature to further the dialogue, such as Ijeoma Oluo's So You Want to Talk About Race. Ijeoma Oluo's So You Want to Talk About Race is a powerful book from start to finish. By reading an excerpt from the introduction, Alejandra highlights how well Ijeoma Oluo articulates her complex experience as a Black woman in the United States. Although it may be challenging to put yourself in the shoes of another, it is crucial to work past your defensiveness and accept the truth of another group's reality. Ultimately, if non-Black people research before discussing difficult topics and commit to unlearning dangerous norms, we can create a better world for the human family. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for a critical conversation on race and racism. Learn more about the lessons Ijeoma Oluo teaches, how to move past your triggers, and why we should be willing to feel uncomfortable when discussing systematic oppression. Quotes: • “I want you to know that if you think that talking about race and equity is hard, that is completely accurate. It's hard for many reasons. One of them is because when you have a conversation about race, you need to be willing or at least aware that you will be talking about history about racial oppression, social constructs, unconscious biases, unjust and pain generating systems and structures, and political and economic power especially in the United States.” [Alejandra] (2:08 - 3:06) • “You have to be willing to get messy and come out of these conversations with perhaps more questions than answers with the likelihood of no immediate resolutions other than the commitment to stay in the conversation for the benefit of all beings.” [Alejandra] (3:24 - 3:42) • “We must all traverse if we want to bring more peace, justice, and equity to our human family.” [Alejandra] (5:21 - 5:29) • “We cannot understand race and racial oppression if we cannot talk about it.” [Alejandra] (10:11 - 10:16) • “These conversations aren't easy. Neither is growing up or evolving, but you and I must learn to have these conversations if we'd like to have a reality without racism and racial oppression.” [Alejandra] (18:14 - 18:30) Links: To visit Ijeoma Oluo's website, click here: https://www.ijeomaoluo.com To purchase Ijeoma Oluo's So You Want to Talk About Race book, click here: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781580058827 To ask your communication question, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I wanted to be part of that stream of music that could change people's minds and hearts,” explains Gary Lapow, the composer for the Language Alchemy Podcast music. Gary writes music to reflect different times in his life with a desire to provide hope. Today, host Alejandra and Gary discuss the power of music and how it can be a communication tool to make the world a more inclusive place. Gary has had a fascinating musical journey centered around social justice and bringing people's stories to light. He has used music to spread positivity and love, from touring with the Freedom Singers to leading kids through inclusive songs. Ultimately, Gary believes that music is more significant than himself and an effective way to bring people together and voice what it means to be human. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for an inspirational conversation on making meaningful music. Learn more about Gary's experience with the civil rights movement, his introduction to the folk genre, and how he only wants to make music that spreads peace. Quotes • “At different times in my life, whatever I'm going through, that's what my music is about.” (3:38 - 3:43) • “There was a dedication to making the world better, at least what little bit we can do as artists, making a momentary situation where audiences felt united. And that's been something that I've done for decades.” (5:31 - 5:53) • “I wanted to be part of that stream of music that could change people's minds and hearts.” (10:40 - 10:48) • “I felt so thankful that I was able to give a voice to what people were thinking and feeling. But we took that responsibility very seriously.” (12:26 - 12:35) • “What does it mean to be a decent person? Just positive messages, how can I send positive messages and everybody's having so much fun, the audience does not realize they're being preached that because they're not really being preached at, they are having a good time. And they're saying these words, and these words are all affirmations, of decency, how to be a decent person.” (15:40 - 16:05) • “The only songs I really want to share with people are songs about love and peacefulness.” (19:28 - 19:38) Links To visit Gary Lapow's website, click here: https://www.garylapowart.com/ To listen to Gary's music on YouTube, click here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3CGPolyAqmlRwji49_GEAA To follow Gary on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garylapowart/ To ask your communication question, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: Languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“When you redirect your reactivity, you choose to communicate in a peaceful way,” explains host Alejandra. With Mother's Day on the horizon, Alejandra understands that communicating with your mother can be challenging. Today, Alejandra breaks down helpful language tools that you can use with your mother to ensure reconciliation and peace on this day. The best gift you can give your mother on Mother's day is the gift of peace. Although it can be easy to give into past wounds or react to specific triggers, you can take a step towards connection and make a more positive choice. By reminding yourself of your intention before communicating, the relationship can lead towards healing, and your mother will have what she wants most of all: to feel the connection with your child. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a loving conversation on communicating with your mother. Learn more about the origins of Mother's Day, how to redirect your reactivity, and ways to remind your mother that you care. Quotes • “When you redirect your reactivity, you choose to communicate in a peaceful way.” (8:20 - 8:26) • “Think about your mother and do something that reminds you of your intention before you call her or talk to her. Don't do it in a rush. Give yourself and your mother some time.” (9:10 - 9:23) • “You are giving your mother a beautiful gift. Stick to it. If she goes into the past, just take a breath and let it slide.” (11:23 - 11:33) • “Whatever your children do on Mother's Day, whatever gift they give you, whatever message they communicate to you on a card, the phone, or video call, make the intention to receive what they're offering you as a gift from the heart. (13:15 - 13:41) • “Whatever you do on Mother's Day, whether you're giving a gift to your mother or you are receiving a gift from someone, may your communication be in alignment with what you'd like to honor.” (14:25 - 14:40) Links: To get the free guide 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity, click here: languagealchemy.com/5steps To read Julia Ward Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation, click here: https://peacealliance.org/history-of-mothers-day-as-a-day-of-peace-julia-ward-howe/ To ask your communication question, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: Languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDIPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

From the pandemic to world war, human beings deal with a good amount of stress. As a result, we behave in damaging ways, such as acting defensive to those around us. Today, host Alejandra breaks down the different reactions to stress and how we can communicate more mindfully in our daily lives. Due to the pandemic, our human family is more disconnected than ever. Since we are social creatures, this has caused an abundance of stress that has negatively affected our communication with one another. However, Alejandra explains that if we acknowledge our anxiety and become connected to our true feelings, we will be able to increase our capacity for ourselves and others. After all, genuine human connection will ultimately relieve us from the damaging experience of stress. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a sensitive conversation on reacting to stress. Learn more about the signs of reactivity, the social consequences caused by the pandemic, and how becoming self-connected leads to more positive behavior. Quotes • “We're having a serious problem as a human family, especially in highly industrialized countries. And that problem is that we are reacting to stress in ways that are extremely harmful.” (1:04 - 1:18) • “Whenever we're fighting, we are reacting.” (3:43 - 3:45) • “Reaction is when you repeat your communication and behavior in response to an experience.” (5:43 - 5:52) • “The more self-connected you are, the less likely you are to behave in self destructive ways.” (10:34 - 10:41) “By connecting with yourself, you connect to your capacity. And by connecting to your capacity, you connect to your ability to take care of yourself, which then offers you the true possibility of relieving yourself from the experience of stress.” (11:51 - 12:14) Links: To get the free guide 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity, click here: languagealchemy.com/5steps To read article published on Atlantic Why People Are Acting So Weird: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2022/03/antisocial-behavior-crime-violence-increase-pandemic/627076/?utm_source=pocket&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pockethits&cta=1&src=ph&utm_source=pocket_mylist To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I don't know any truly healthy relationship that has not had its good share of difficulties,” explains host Alejandra. Alejandra realizes that it's natural for people to seek healthy relationships and debunks the everyday myths that prevent real connection. After all, we may not realize that our communication style prevents us from the relationships we want, something highlighted in Alejandra's upcoming Choosing True Connection course. One of the most common myths about healthy relationships is that they are supposed to be easy and fun. However, this is an impossible standard as even the closest confidants can have conflicting worldviews and disagreements. Although relationship difficulties are inevitable, mindful listening and communication skills can help both parties feel safe, strengthening their bond. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a demystifying conversation on typical relationship myths. Learn more about “chemistry's” role in forming a social connection, the consequences of superficial dynamics, and how even the best relationships experience conflict. Quotes • “I don't know any truly healthy relationship that has not had its good share of difficulties, disagreements, and different views. I can tell you that my closest friendships are with people who were able to go through difficulties with me, disagree with me, and have different perspectives.” (00:01 - 00:25) • “If you want to have healthy relationships in your life, then you must be aware of how you're communicating.” (2:17 - 2:26) • “Good chemistry alone is not the most important foundation for a healthy relationship. And when I talk about relationships, I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. You can think of it as a friendship, you can think about a professional partnership. In fact, I'm sure you've had the experience in your life of meeting someone you didn't have good chemistry with in the beginning, maybe you didn't even like this person. But in time, you learn to be more receptive to that person, so much so that the person you didn't have good chemistry with is now your spouse, your best friend, your greatest ally. So good chemistry is useful. But it is not the foundation of a healthy relationship.” (6:22 - 7:14) • “The myth that healthy relationships are always easy, pleasant, and fun is plain and simple a lie. And if you're holding such a story as true, then you need to take an honest look at your relationships and realize that you need to be able to communicate with others.” (9:46 - 10:07) • “Healthy relationships are relationships in which both parties can go through difficulties, disagreements, and different views and then find a way to achieve greater connection.” (11:25 - 11:41) • “When both members of the relationship feel safe with one another, then you can have a truly healthy relationship.” (13:12 - 13:23) Links: To sign up for 6-week online course Choosing True Connection: Learning to Listen without Losing Your Cool, Taking it Personally, or Giving Up Who You Truly Are, click here: languagealchemy.com/enroll To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Skillful listening is as important, or perhaps even more important, than skillful speaking,” says host Alejandra. Through her work as a communication coach, Alejandra discovered that skillful listeners were the best communicators. Now, she teaches her clients how to use their listening skills to strengthen their relationships and interactions with others. Alejandra understands that communicating with people with different political or world views may be challenging. However, she also understands that the best communicators can avoid potential triggers by making space and listening to what the other person is saying before reacting. After all, effective communication is a two-way street, and when people feel heard, they can feel safe to be themselves. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy Podcast for a practical conversation on skillful listening. Learn more about communicating with people different from you, why skillful listening is as essential as speaking, and how to have stronger connections to your loved ones and community. Quotes • “When we communicate skillfully, we can enter a place of unity or connection with another person.” (0:15 - 0:23) • “Transformative communication is not just about being able to say what we mean because communication is not a one-person activity. There is another person involved. When we communicate skillfully, we can enter a place of unity or connection with another person.” (3:04 - 3:23) • “Skillful listening is as important or perhaps even more important than skillful speaking.” (4:41 - 4:49) • “After learning to listen, I started teaching my coaching clients to do this. And well, the outcome. Oh, it's been precious. Couples about to separate found a new sense of joy and love and chose to stay together. Families heading towards estrangement were able to experience closeness again. People who felt lonely and isolated learned to have friends and even form communities, all because they learned to listen skillfully. The thing is that when we learn to listen to another human being, we include them. And when we include another person, we make space for the response or reaction. And we understand that the response or reaction is not a problem. It's just communication.” (6:00 - 6:59) • “When we are listened to, we feel safe to be who we are. We feel safe expressing ourselves authentically.” (9:11 - 9:20) • “My wish for you is that you may be open to learning to listen because that's where the gold of communication is.” (11:31 - 11:39) Links To sign up for 6-week online course Choosing True Connection: Learning to Listen without Losing Your Cool, Taking it Personally, or Giving Up Who You Truly Are, click here: www.languagealchemy.com/enroll To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit:languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Today, host Alejandra answers one of her listener's questions on how to communicate effectively. Although we may believe that we are transparent with our wants and needs, there may be room for improvement to avoid misunderstandings. With her background in communication coaching, Alejandra shares easy ways to become a more effective communicator. If you find yourself having confusing or heated conversations with others, there may be an issue with your listening skills that prevent productive communication. By becoming a communication detective, you can develop a clearer sense of how to articulate your point of view. As a result, you can close the gap between yourself and others to forge a better relationship with your community. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for a helpful conversation on effective communication. Learn more about what prevents clear communication, the importance of listening, and how misunderstandings prohibit genuine human connection. Quotes • “When it comes to effective interpersonal communication, we think that just because we said something, communication has been accomplished. That is not always the case.” (2:09 - 2:22) • “By not listening, we have failed to concede the immense complexity of our society and thus, the great gaps between ourselves and those with whom we seek understanding.” (9:24 - 9:37) • “I'd like to invite you to become your own effective communication investigator or effective communication detective. And I'll give you a clue. If you hear yourself saying to someone often, Oh, I thought you would do this. Or, ah, I thought you didn't need to bring lunch to school today. Or I thought you were going to call me, then that means you're not having effective communication because you're not fully listening. And that means that it would be very useful for you to learn more about listening.” (10:09 - 10:54) • “If you constantly have misunderstandings, then you're not experiencing a true sense of connection with others.” (11:32 - 11:40) • “My wish for you is that your communication investigation gives you great insights.” (14:16 - 14:23) Links To sign up for free workshop The Communication Secret to Creating and Maintaining Meaningful Relationships, click here: languagealchemy.com/workshop To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit:languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“The way we communicate is just a tool to access our deeper being. And I think for us, learning how to communicate was just learning how to be in love and speak with love with each other,” says Matthew Siroka, husband of host Alejandra. Often in her work coaching couples, clients ask how Alejandra and Matthew communicate. Today, Matthew shares what works for them and how to build a loving and lasting relationship. Matthew and Alejandra come from vastly different backgrounds. Alejandra was raised Catholic in Argentina, and Matthew was raised Jewish in New York City. Differences aside, Matthew and Alejandra utilize transformative communication tools to ensure that they are listening to each other and reminding themselves that they are with the person they love. Tune into this week's episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast for a loving conversation on communication in relationships. Learn more about Matthew and Alejandra's differences, the necessary tools for transformative communication, and how to adapt to give your partner the space to share.  Quotes • “The way we communicate is just a tool to access our deeper being. And I think for us, learning how to communicate was just learning how to be in love and speak with love with each other.” [Matthew] (5:30 - 5:51) • “We got some tools. But the tools were the means to an end. And the end was how to continually show up with each other in a way that we wanted to.” [Matthew] (5:58 - 6:09) • “The tools allow me to pause and consider how I want to show up, even if I feel frustrated, anxious, closed off, annoyed, or many other things I often feel.” [Matthew] (6:53 - 7:14) • “I find that when we have that access to that deeper connection, we have the openness to keep being curious about each other, keep learning from each other, and see things and hear we otherwise wouldn't have.” [Alejandra] (9:26 - 9:47) • “It's an acknowledgment that we have different styles of sharing and different levels of comfort. And you're ready to jump in where it takes me a while to get there. Having the space to do that is an invitation and makes me feel like you're available.” [Matthew] (14:35 - 14:59)  Links To sign up for free workshop The Communication Secret to Creating and Maintaining Meaningful Relationships, click here: languagealchemy.com/workshop To listen to the Language Alchemy story: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147549241 To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit:languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI  Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

With the war in Ukraine still raging on, everyone in our human family feels troubled and tense. As a result, overall communication is suffering amongst loved ones and communities. Today, host Alejandra gives tips on becoming less reactive to have more productive and peaceful communication. Whether you react with anger or shut down in difficult conversations, giving into reactivity can harm your relationships. In a heated discussion, we may assume that the person is trying to hurt us or has bad intentions. Instead of reacting in a manner that can damage a relationship, Alejandra encourages her listeners to take a step back and question the validity of these negative feelings. After all, when we learn to resist our reactivity, we can experience a true connection with others. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for an empathetic conversation on peaceful resistance in communication. Learn more about how we all are intrinsically connected, why evading conversations is just as damaging as being combative, and the three ways you can check in with yourself before verbally reacting. Quotes • “When we are conscious of our human connection and realize that some of us in our human family suffer, we are all affected by that pain. What you do and how you do it impacts other members of our human family.” (3:19 - 3:40) • “​​Combative energy occurs when we react. The kind of peaceful resistance that I'm suggesting is to help you resist your reactivity so that you can understand the psycholinguistic impact of indulging in your reactivity, and you choose something else.” (4:25 - 4:44) • “If you want to go into peaceful resistance, and contribute to much-needed peace in this world, then you need to learn to resist reactivity.” (11:27 -11:37) • “Find out how much your reactivity costs you. Be willing to understand the pain your reactivity generates for you and the other person. Then you can ask yourself if this price is worth paying.” (13:13 - 13:28) • “When you learn to resist your reactivity, you experience meaningful relationships with others. You get to experience true connection.” (15:00 - 15:10) Links To download the free guide 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity www.languagealchemy.com/5steps To listen to Episode 11: What 'I don't want to talk about it' actually communicates https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast?search=i+don%27t+want+to+talk+about+it To sign up for free workshop The Communication Secret to Creating and Maintaining Meaningful Relationships, click here: www.languagealchemy.com/workshop To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit:languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Not all wars result in physical combat, such as the current war between Russia and Ukraine. Many battles exist in familial conflicts that may lead to estrangement or harmful effects on the body. In today's episode, host Alejandra breaks down different ways to communicate peacefully to avoid destructive communication patterns. There are many benefits to peaceful living. From better sleep to healthier relationships to improved overall health, we gain a higher quality of life when choosing harmony over fighting. Although it may seem difficult to resist the temptation of an argument, Alejandra encourages her listeners to explore their anger and choose more cordial tactics instead. After all, acting as a peacemaker not only helps you but your community as well. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for a helpful conversation on peaceful communication. Learn more about the four benefits of peace, why fighting drains you of your energy, and how choosing peace allows you to show up for your loved ones. Quotes • “​​Your family needs you as a peacemaker. Your community needs you as a peacemaker. The people who don't share your opinions need you as a peacemaker. This world needs both of us to be peacemakers.” (1:38 - 1:54) • “If you want to have more health or better health, find ways to cultivate peace.” (3:25 - 3:30) • “When you experience peace frequently, you're more embodied, literally, not figuratively. You have greater access to your bodily sensations, so you are less lost in thoughts, you're less caught up in your head. And when you're more embodied, you smile more, make eye contact more frequently, speak more eloquently because your breath is more even, you're more present, and therefore, you listen more, which means that you're more enjoyable to be around. And this makes you more attractive, in the sense that people want to be with others with whom they can enjoy meaningful conversations. They want to be with others who have the time or take the time to savor the experience together.” (5:37 - 6:27) • “When you don't have peace, it's extremely hard to have space for others. But when you experience peace, you have the energy to show up for all those who need you, all those who need to be listened to by you, all those who need to be heard by you, and all those who need to be held by you.” (8:23 - 8:48) • “You are needed as a peacemaker at this time, and you can do it. You have the ability to choose peace. And when you choose peace, you choose health. You choose better sleep, you choose to be attractive, and you choose to show up in your life and your relationships in a healing, constructive and mature way.” (14:24 - 14:47) •“When we have peace, that's when we can truly connect with one another.” (15:38 - 15:43) Links To sign up for free workshop The Communication Secret to Cultivating Meaningful Relationships, click here: www.languagealchemy.com/workshop To ask your communication questions, click here: www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: www.open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

With the devastating war occurring in Ukraine, host Alejandra Siroka reflects on the power of language. Although language has the power to heal, it can also lead us to our destruction. With this in mind, Alejandra explores the darker side of speech: gaslighting. Often in unequal relationships, the person with more power uses gaslighting to manipulate others. By causing the other person to doubt their experience or dismiss their feelings, the manipulator can make them feel more vulnerable or dependent. To combat this toxic dynamic, Alejandra lays out the key signs of gaslighting and reminds her audience to always assert their truth. Tune into this week's episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast for a straightforward conversation on gaslighting. Learn more about psychological manipulation, how false political narratives mislead us into war, and the communication tools needed to combat gaslighting in relationships. Quotes • “It's important to remember that language has the power to heal and the power to destroy. Language has the power to bring us to war.” (1:08 - 1:21) • “Gaslighting doesn't just happen in movies. It can happen in any relationship.” (4:47 - 4:53) • “Gaslighting is lying to obtain an advantage to oneself while misleading the other person so that they question what they experienced as true.” (7:15 - 7:26) • “Gaslighting tends to happen in relationships where there's a power imbalance. The person who does the gaslighting has a perceived position of power, and they see the other as vulnerable or fearful.” (7:45 - 8:01) • “You need to have the transformative communication tools to engage in conscious defense if you are in a relationship in which there is gaslighting. To engage in conscious defense, you need to assert yourself.” ( 12:31 - 12:47) • “May you be aware of the power of your language, and may you choose to communicate in ways that bring forth peace and healing.” (15:23 -15:32) Links To ask your communication questions, click here: www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: www.open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

With International Women's Day on the horizon, host Alejandra Siroka recognizes the value of celebrating women. By supporting women, we remind them of their worth, improving society as a whole. With her experience coaching women and as a woman herself, Alejandra breaks down concrete language suggestions that can raise up the women in your lives. Historically, and even now, many women are minimized by their well-intentioned loved ones. By ignoring young girls' accomplishments and having separate rules for daughters and sons, we send a message that women are less than in society and culture. By changing the tone and descriptive words we use and highlighting powerful women, we can change the narrative and allow women to recognize their full potential. Tune into this week's episode of Language Alchemy for an educational discussion on positive communication with women. Learn more about Alejandra's five language tools to uplift women, the negative messages women receive, and why supporting women helps us all succeed. Quotes • “When we support women to thrive, we all thrive.” (1:44 - 1:48) • “When we contribute to women having the same opportunities as men, we have more members of our human family believing, communicating, and behaving with confidence, with trust in their capacity, dignity, and shared power. And this is the kind of mindset needed to thrive.” (1:44 - 2:12) • “I've coached lots of women, and I'm a woman who comes from a family of mostly women and who's worked in professions where most of my peers were women. I don't know one single woman who hasn't received messages about our place, worth, and role in society as dependent, vulnerable, or incapable beings. We've heard these messages from our loving and well-intentioned parents, from teachers, from authority figures, from society, from arts and culture, and other women.” (2:33 - 3:22) • “Want a world in which all female members of our human family know their value, their worth, trust their capacity, and believe that they too can realize their full potential and thrive?” (9:00 - 9:22) • “Communication is not just about the words we use. It's about the tone and how you say these words. If you call women or girls sensitive, say it with a positive tone of voice because someone sensitive has access to their feelings. And someone who has access to their feelings, has empathy and compassion for others. And someone who has empathy and compassion for others is someone who's able to take action for positive change.” (11:36 - 12:11) • "You have the wonderful opportunity to change the message for all the women in your life. You can communicate that you see their capacity and support their success." (9:24 - 9:46) Links The Ugly Truth about You Look Beautiful 3-minute video: https://www.languagealchemy.com/blog/the-ugly-truth-about-you-look-beautiful For more resources about communication, go to: https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo To ask your communication questions, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI

Valentine's Day has come and gone, but you can take the most important part of the holiday with you. Can you guess what that is? One commonality most holidays share is the opportunity for intimacy with those who matter most. “Intimacy” comes from 2 Latin words: the word intimus, which means inmost, and intimare, which means to know deeply. So, you could say holidays are a chance to get a clear impression of someone and reconnect. However, you don't have to wait for the holidays to become reacquainted with them on a deeper level. We're all busy in our day-to-day lives, but carving out moments for intimacy doesn't have to be a time-consuming, arduous process. I'd like to share 3 transformative communication tools for nurturing intimacy between you and your loved ones. Whether it's a partner, spouse, or someone else you love, putting these into practice can help you show them they matter to you. Takeaways from this episode: - 2 roadblocks to communication include our busy schedules and the fact we're constantly changing. Then, when we finally check in with our loved ones, we may feel distant. - Simply talking to one another doesn't foster intimacy, especially when it's accompanied by multitasking. - Promoting intimate communication helps keep your relationship alive and well and can take as little as 30 seconds. --- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy For more resources about communication, go to: https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo To ask your communication questions, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

Valentine's Day is a celebration many people either love or hate. Others may feel indifferent – or prefer to observe “Single's Awareness Day” instead! Personally, I believe it's important to have a day when millions of people express their love to those they care about. Maybe it's through a hug or kiss. Maybe it's through a gift, like a box of chocolates or jewelry. Maybe it's through preparing a meal or helping with the chores. Maybe it's watching a movie together. Or maybe it's sharing the phrase “I love you” through a card, phone call, or simply, sweetly stated aloud. These different ways of sharing love are examples of the 5 love languages, pioneered and popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation are all helpful ways to communicate love. They're also helpful to recognize in your partner so you're aware of their expression of love. This discussion will help you identify your (and your partner's) love language to create a lasting connection. That way, you can better see and appreciate the love around you and the many forms it takes. Takeaways from this episode: - Be aware of and communicate to your partner that you recognize their expression of love for you. - Avoid using the 5 love languages to blame your partner for not using your preferred love language. This can create unnecessary disconnection and devalues the way your partner shows love. - Love comes from within. If you want to feel loved, you need to notice all the ways in which you are loved rather than imposing on your environment. --- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: 5 Love Languages:https://www.5lovelanguages.com/learnConnect with me on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy For more resources about communication, go to: https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo To ask your communication questions, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

I find that it's easier to connect to a concept when I delve into the origin of the word. The word “compassion” is a Latin word meaning, “to be with the pain of another.” Think about what that means. At first, the idea of taking on another's pain may not sound appealing. Yet, compassion brings people together. When we communicate with compassion, we can understand others in their trouble; we can make space for others and experience connection. Compassion is one of the 3 elements of transformative communication, along with clarity and confidence. In this episode, I'm focusing on compassion and how it not only bridges communication and understanding, but elevates our humanity. My sincere hope is that you'll unpack the idea of compassion by learning the types of pain and identifying them in yourself. You'll also understand the benefits of opening your heart to others in a meaningful way. You - and others in your life - deserve it.  Takeaways from this episode: - When we avoid confronting our pain (and the pain of others), it turns into resentment, grievance, or judgment. This in turn, generates the experience of divisiveness and disconnection. - Compassion opens our hearts to others, allowing us to connect in a meaningful way that prevents shame and judgment from existing. - It's easier to understand others' pain when you understand the pain residing within yourself. --- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Episode 1 of 3 my series about how to Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion: 28. Want less conflict in your relationships? https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147674877 Episode 2 of 3 of my series about how to Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147678087 Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy  For more resources about communication, go to: https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo To ask your communication questions, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

This is the second part in my 3-part series on the qualities of transformative communication. In episode 28 we discussed communicating with clarity. Now we're building upon it to discuss: -How to understand when you or others aren't communicating with confidence -The benefits of communicating with confidence -2 action items to cultivate confidence in your communication Communicating with confidence is vital to living authentically. Many people are aware of this. In fact, 99.9% of people who ask for my support with communication coaching need help communicating confidently. Oftentimes, however, people don't even realize that's what they need. Communicating with confidence involves more than you may think.It isn't just about the words you say. There's a huge nonverbal component, and that energy comes across to the listener when you lack confidence. The word “confidence” comes from Latin, and it means “to be with faith or to trust.” Have you noticed when someone sounds nervous it's as if they don't trust themselves? Their words lack authority and conviction. The same happens when your voice doesn't convey confidence; it's hard for others to have faith in you. Takeaways from this episode: -The more you know about your communication, the more you'll know what to continue - and the more clarity you'll have about what you need to learn. -When you lack confidence, you can feel it in your body. Be aware of those sensations and take a deep breath to transform your nerves. -When you're able to communicate with confidence, others are generally more willing to listen, follow, and support you. --- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Episode 1 of 3 my series about how to Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion: 28. Want less conflict in your relationships? https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147674877 Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy For more resources about communication, go to: https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo To ask your communication questions, click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: www.languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.