Metamashina

Not all of us are feeling the holiday spirit, as evidenced by this last podcast recording of 2021. Instead of talking about how grateful we are that Santa decided to visit us this year, we're remembering Christmas pasts with more muppet movies and less dental care. In Metamashina's semi-penultimate episode, we try to unpack the weirdness of winter-themed claymation specials, subliminal holiday messaging, and which personification of climate change is worse to date: extreme heat or cold. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/12/27/episode-066-questionable-claymation-christmas/

Escape the heat by throwing yourself into the ocean, where fish-girls follow their dreams and land-men unfortunately disappoint. This month on Metamashina, we dive into Hans Christian Andersen's iconic fairy tale 'The Little Mermaid' by covering some of its many movie adaptations. Highlights of the episode include a deliberation on the Prince's Chad status, discussions on the inherent queerness of the fairy tale, and many divergences into a dreamy underwater landscape. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/08/03/episode-065-the-little-mermaid-has-a-knife/

Our planet is melting, so naturally it's time to escape it. On today's episode, we journey into space to stroke a monolith, and have an in-depth discussion on '2001: A Space Odyssey.' Episode highlights include a conversation about god(s), dark futures, the merits of hard sci-fi, and passive-aggressive AI. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/07/01/episode-064-hal-is-upset-space-odyssey/

What do bad breakups and cult indoctrination have in common? Resident expert on ritual sacrifice Dr. Hazel Monforton and Swedish correspondent/podcast husband David join us for an in-depth discussion on Ari Aster's 2019 folk horror film 'Midsommar.' CW: Extremely heavy subject matter as per usual for horror films, as well as rumination on scapegoating, bad societal expectations, and sh*tty boyfriends. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/06/12/episode-063-hot-girl-midsommar/

On today’s episode friend of the show Katie (PoeHotDameron) joins us to discuss 'The Princess Bride.' In true podcast form, we venture to Florin, where we talk about the similarities between Darth Maul and Inigo Montoya’s thirst for revenge, and is Humperdinck humpable, actually? Bonus points are made for Buttercup’s desire for a simple life, and work/life balance in the pursuit of art. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/05/02/episode-062-inconceivably-the-princess-bride/

Religious panic, plagues, and fractured families are all the rage again, so Metamashina decided to get with the times and discuss the 2018 film 'Ophelia,' which ironically is not an adaptation of a Shakespearean play. In this episode we talk about nunneries, bad tropes, and complex character motivations. (Un)happy pandemic anniversary, everyone. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/04/01/episode-061-ophelia-2018-movie/

We’re back with another previously unreleased (archived) episode, this time from Spring 2020… since March never ended, apparently. Join us for a continuation of our ‘Women as Robots’ series, as we discuss the hit indie film 'Ex Machina.' Topics include killer toys, adaptations of the bluebeard myth, Silicon Valley bros, and our dissatisfaction over the gendering/exploitation of AI in media. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/03/01/episode-060-nos-ex-machina-2014/

Your early Valentine’s Day episode is a trip to Foxworth Hall as we explore VC Andrew’s 1979 FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC, along with the 1987 and 2014 movie adaptations. Covering risqué questions like “what do you think of bad mothers,” we also dive deep into the ethics of bold writing and heap high praise on the Lifetime sequel ‘Petals on the Wind,’ a movie so bad it’s good. CW: Discussions of incest between siblings, SA/dubious consent, child abuse, and child death. Show notes are available here: https://metamashina.com/2021/02/01/episode-059-flowers-in-the-attic-yes-that-flowers/

Joined by first-time guest Daniela, we ring in the new year with a retrospective look on being stuck indoors, the family drama that comes with it, and insidious respiratory pathogens—and no, we’re not talking about COVID-19. Today’s episode will cover MEXICAN GOTHIC, AKA Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s new hit novel. Tune in for a discussion on colonialism, generational trauma, and femme fatales. CW: Discussions of incest and sexual assault in relation to the book. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2021/01/02/episode-058-mexican-gothic/

Have a slice of an Americana “classic” this holiday season. Today, we explore Louisa May Alcott’s LITTLE WOMEN, along with the 2019 Greta Gerwig film adaptation. Episode Highlights: A discussion on liberal feminism as an extension of American Protestantism, Team Laurie VS Team Friedrich, and speculations on whether Alcott would be into spite-shipping. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2020/12/01/episode-057-little-women-big-liberalism/

Is Gary Oldman dressed as a vampire the aesthetic to end all aesthetics? Who is more seductive: Lucy in her red lingerie, or the Count with his luscious locks? In this rather silly discussion of Bram Stoker’s DRACULA, we examine the original 1897 novel and the 1992 film adaptation by Francis Ford Coppola, to get to the heart of these burning questions. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2020/10/31/episode-056-dracula-is-here-to-steal-your-girl/

Our first NEW recording of 2020 is all about stopping impending doom via the power of love. On today’s episode, we debut our revamped podcast with 1997’s The Fifth Element. Discussion highlights include figuring out who is a Zorg fan (or really just a Gary Oldman fan), and a debate on modern sci-fi aesthetics depicting true evil in fiction. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2020/10/01/episode-055-the-fifth-element-is-kinda-hot/

With our last unreleased episode from the 2019 archives, we’re exploring an essential work in the kink and BDSM oeuvre: 2002’s ‘Secretary,’ featuring the only Mr. Gray we would like to see dom. Our focus? The psychosexual nature of Lee’s emotional acceptance, Edward’s control issues, and harassment in the workplace—with a diversion into the quirky, fantastical nature of early 2000s films. CW: Sexual content, questionable consent, BDSM, self-harm. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2020/09/01/episode-054-secretary/

It’s Southern-Fried Sapphics hour as we take a waltz back to a late 80’s/early 90’s classic of “just gals being pals.” In 1991’s “Fried Green Tomatoes,” our exploration of the slow decline of American rural communities—and our critique of white liberal feminism—is balanced by our appreciation for food fights as stand-in sex scenes. Bonus highlights include a discussion on fried okra, chicken-fried chicken, and Shi, our resident Canadian, calling LA “the south.” Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2020/08/02/episode-053-fried-green-tomatoes-and-other-gal-pal-things/

We’re BACK after a very long hiatus, with a massive discussion on Holly Black’s "The Folk of the Air" series, recorded in late 2019. Local YA experts/return guests Shannon and Chel help us determine the best use for a snake husband, AKA a “snusband,” plus how many brain cells are shared between Jude and Cardan (the answer is one). Bonus discussion: Pearls are clutched over Taryn. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2020/07/01/episode-052-too-fast-too-faerie-holly-black-folk-of-the-air/

The Season of the Witch returns, as does our special guest Dr. Hazel Monforton. This week, we talk about the cult horror classic "Suspiria" and its 2018 remake. We also take a blood-soaked dive into its feminine aesthetic and the interpersonal relationships at play in both films. Bonus Content: Long discussions on ancient witch goddesses, along with a deep, abiding love for Tilda Swinton. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/10/23/episode-051-mother-suspiria-2018/

For our 2-year anniversary (and 50th episode) we journey off the well-worn path to cover the much-requested "The Company of Wolves" by Angela Carter—both in short story and film format. This week, our thirst for unibrowed werewolves knows no bounds. We also dig deep into a discussion on the deeply feminine mythos, modernization, and aesthetic of Red Riding Hood. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/10/09/episode-050-in-the-company-of-woofs/

Sarah Sahim joins us for our debut Bollywood episode with our coverage of 2004’s "Bride & Prejudice" and 2014’s "Khoobsurat." Tune in for a celebration of Indian filmmaking, an explanation on how to make a kiss work without showing it, kitchen party lyrics, and how to dance the Garba.(Apologies for the sound issues on this episode, as well as our disclaimer about our email.) Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/09/25/episode-049-bride-beautiful-in-bollywood/

This week we’re joined by Marie-Claire for our explorational into the pivotal shoujo manga "Hana Yori Dango"(Boys Over Flowers), along with the 2018 Chinese TV adaptation "Meteor Garden." We talk shop about questionable hairstyles, roast the “Flower 4” on Shan Cai’s behalf, and discuss all the tropes in this definitive enemies-to-lovers coming-of-age tale. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/09/10/episode-048-flower-boys-in-the-meteor-garden/

Hide under the covers when you hear the knock—the Babadook has arrived. Continuing our love of women-centered horror, we sat down to watch Jennifer Kent’s 2014 "The Babadook," and discuss themes of motherhood, grief, and the existential dread of winter in Australia. Bonus content: a frank discussion on childhood fears and the utterly bizarre film "Mars Attacks." Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/08/27/episode-047-we-did-it-all-for-the-babadook/

Looking to escape the summer heat? Join us and Chel (@destiniesfic) for a discussion on Naomi Novik’s "Spinning Silver": a 2018 reimagining of the "Rumpelstiltskin" legend. Highlights of today’s episode include a discussion on Novik’s reclamation of the folktale via a Jewish perspective. Bonus content includes perpetual stanning of not one but TWO monster husbands, and Shi is called out for not shipping Chernobog. Popsicle jokes are made. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/08/13/episode-046-spinning-silver-summer-edition/

Long ago in the Dark Ages of Web 1.0, internet lore was shared not through wikis and YouTube videos but through the anonymity of forum boards, comment threads and instant messenger. It was from this digital, primordial stew that a new phenomenon was born: “creepypasta,” or internet ghost stories. On this week’s episode, we dive deep into Ted’s Caving Page, reminisce about Jeff the Killer, and run head-first into Slenderman’s arms. Bonus content: an explanation on how much makeup is too much makeup when acting out your clown kink. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/07/30/episode-045-creepypasta/

Beautiful decay awaits us all in 2018's sci-fi masterpiece "Annihilation," based upon Jeff VanderMeer's 2014 book series "The Southern Reach Trilogy". We cover the first book of the series, along with the film in tandem with the lens of horror. Expect long divergences into biological evolution, well-written female protagonists, and personal foibles. As the Crawler says, "The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear..." Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/07/17/episode-044-beauty-in-annihilation/

It’s full-on ugly crying for 2016’s "Your Name" (Kimi No Na Wa) as we enjoy the most romantic and inspiring sci-fi fantasy anime to come out in recent years. We wax poetic on the red string of fate, Japanese vending machines, and youthful indiscretions—all while Shi buys some pants. WARNING: Heavy salt on the Game of Thrones finale. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/07/02/episode-043-your-name-in-red-string/

Saddle your horses, folks: this week we venture into a land of Ren Faire anachronism and murder birds who love Rutger Hauer just as much as we do. We talk 70s psych rock, animal actors, folk fantasy and Isabeau’s agency before answering the most difficult question of them all: would you choose sci-fi dream Roy Batty or dark knight Etienne Navarre? Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/06/18/episode-042-the-ladyhawke-doth-protest/

Between Misselthwaite Manor and Miss Minchin’s Seminary, we find ourselves talking about two films based on Victorian-era stories by author Frances Hodgson Burnett: "The Secret Garden" & "Little Princess". A light dash of salt flavors our discussion on heroines and their socialization, 90s woke stereotypes, colonial narratives, gothic romance, and of course, our thirst for John Lynch. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/06/04/episode-041-secret-princess-little-garden/

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to salt we go. In this week’s episode, we mine generous quantities of our favorite mineral while breaking down patriarchal beauty norms, domestic labor, and the psychology behind True Love’s First Kiss. Join us on this deep dive into the classic film "Snow White," along with two more recent adaptations of the Brothers Grimm tale: "Snow White and the Huntsman" and "Mirror Mirror." Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/05/21/episode-040-schneewittchen-and-the-seven-thirst-traps/

Continuing our trend of talking about video game characters we’re hornt for, today we walk through the Final Fantasy VII franchise—including 2005’s Advent Children. Tune in for a long-winded discussion about team mom Tifa, hot mess Cloud Strife, and a knock-down, drag-out brawl over Sephiroth’s pirate shirt. Yes, really. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/05/07/episode-039-not-so-final-fantasy-vii/

On today’s episode, Lady Valkyrie AKA Mariet wanders into our lair to discuss the hit Netflix series Castlevania and its video game origins. This series puts a stake through our fangirl hearts with its portrayals of crying softbois, undying love and men in too-tight leather pants. We’re not always hot for vampires, but when we are, it’s vamps with flowing locks and estranged relationships with their fathers (no, we're not just talking about the church). Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/04/23/what-we-do-in-castlevania/

The lady with all the wikis, Rachael of Scavenger’s Hoard, joins us to discuss the cult classic Labyrinth. We talk about its madcap production history, the importance of this story to our own development, and our appreciation for Jim Henson/George Lucas. Bonus content: join us as we dive deep into the Old Internet to explore the ancient website “David Bowie’s Area.” Yes, it’s still up. Yes, we linked it. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/03/27/episode-037-dance-through-the-labyrinth/

Better later than never forever: on today’s episode Erin introduces us to the fantasy classic 'The Last Unicorn.' We identify with Molly Grue far too much, and talk about the transition from childhood to adult concerns. Also featured: a deep dive into the symbolism of Beagle’s original text, along with lots of love for rosy-cheeked skeletons and unicorn ladies. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/03/12/episode-036-the-last-and-saddest-unicorn/

Content warning: discussions of self-harm, sexual violence, and emo rock’s history of women’s exploitation. We unearth 2009’s 'Jennifer’s Body' to examine its feminist legacy and failures, and have an in-depth discussion on the objectification of women’s trauma through multiple media sources. A decade later we’re reclaiming the word “salty” to mean beautiful (thanks, Diablo Cody). Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/02/26/episode-035-theres-something-wrong-with-jennifer/

Who's a Daddy? The only correct answer lies in the 90’s cartoon 'Gargoyles.' Return guest Chelsea (corseque on Tumblr and northgalis on Twitter) helps us with the obvious answer as we celebrate the most formative of monster kinks. Bat-wings, Shakespearian drama, genetic-tech, and global folklore abound in this amazing show that deserves all the accolades it gets. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2019/02/12/episode-034-can-you-kiss-a-gargoyle/

Kirsty of Scavenger’s Hoard returns to the show, where we discuss Elizabeth Gaskell’s Victorian social novel North and South. Beta-read by Charles Dickens, this novel and its 2006 BBC adaptation prompt a full-blown discussion of unions, worker’s rights, and Richard Armitage’s furrowed brow. Join us in waxing poetic on these class-crossed lovers. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/01/29/episode-033-north-and-socialism/

What’s better than ranting about Pandora for two hours? Reminiscing about the EARTH's eventual demise (and our exposure to it) thanks to a children’s movie! The harpies take a trip back in time to discuss the environmental message of FernGully and its overhyped male-gaze remake, Avatar, with a focus on ecological preservation and a generous disdain for the white saviour narrative. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/01/15/episode-032-ferngully-in-space/

It’s 2019 and the world is a dystopian nightmare defined by capitalistic decay and the struggle to empathize with one’s fellow man (and woman). Join us in the future we already know, just less cool looking, as we talk about Blade Runner and our frustration with Blade Runner 2049 from the perspective of a feminine audience. Spoiler alert: Nat gets drunk on wine and Shi does her best robot impersonation yet. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2019/01/01/episode-031-do-androids-dream-of-blade-runner/

Nuttiness ensues as we talk the lore of E.T.A. Hoffman’s The Nutcracker and its subsequent ballet, film, and book adaptations. We also take a trip to the technopunk fairyland of Claire Legrand’s 2014 YA novel Winterspell. Be prepared for hero-villain romances, Drosselmeyer wank, Rat King thirst and bisexual rep done right as we settle in for the holidays. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/12/18/episode-030-yes-were-covering-the-nutcracker/

Who’s the true O.G. of our mask-and-glove kink and prone to bridal carries into underworld lairs? Why, Erik of course. Courtney of @WhoTalksFirst and @SquadronGoalsCo joins us to gush about the ultimate Gothic Romance, plus our favourite POTO adaptation, The Last Jedi. We also bring the receipts on Raoul, call out Lord Andy for his self-insert fanfic, and sing praises for Gerard Butler’s plunging v-neck. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/12/04/episode-029-the-phantom-of-the-opera/

Ladies, it’s time to smash some Fae. Knee tattoos and toilet wank are just a taste of what we have to offer as we are joined by return guest Shannon of Network 1901 (@McCarterShanon) for our unpacking of Sarah J. Maas’ A Court of Thorns and Roses trilogy. Lust (and love) with us over winged boys, Eldritch monsters, and god-tier villain ships. We even cover the Christmas special just in time for the holiday. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2018/11/20/episode-028-a-court-of-thirst-and-rhys/

Moon Prism Power Make-Up! Artist and fellow Sailor Moon fan Jess (Saturnine Stardust) joins us for a romp through the early-90s magical girl anime classic Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon. We discuss the many aspects of this massive series including the manga, original subs vs. DIC dubs, movies, and the 2014 reboot Sailor Moon Crystal, with a focus on the changes over time. Additional rants include Chibi Usa’s unnecessary Elektra complex and the power of positive feminine friendship. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2018/11/06/episode-027-by-the-power-of-the-moon/

‘Tis the season for kissing the devil and concocting a witches’ brew. On our special 1-Year Anniversary episode, we are joined by Dr. (Witch) Hazel to examine the history of witches with a focus on the American North-Eastern tradition as epitomized in the Salem Witch Trials and Arthur Miller’s fictionalization of the event, The Crucible. We then touch upon 1987’s Witches of Eastwick, 1999’s The Blair Witch Project, and 2015’s The VVitch. Much thirst and academia is had. Show notes can be found here: https://metamashina.com/2018/10/23/episode-026-living-deliciously/

Imagine a world where women are murdered so they can be replaced with subservient automatons—and by men who claim to love them. Long before the 1970s cult classic 'The Stepford Wives' became shorthand for hausfraus who only care about cleaning products, this film brought to light women’s fears of oppression, and how those fears follow us to the grave. Today we continue our ‘Women as Robots’ series with a sobering look at the trope and the original film, along with a lot of criticism for the bad 2000’s retelling. Show notes can be found here: https://metamashina.com/2018/10/09/episode-025-stepford-hellscape/

They’re beauty, they’re grace, they’ll hiss in your face. This week we’re talking about Tchaikovsky’s ballet 'Swan Lake' and its animated adaptations: 1981’s anime LSD nightmare 'Swan Lake' and 1994’s 'The Swan Princess.' Join us as we lament bowl cuts, ear hair, thigh high boots, and other thirst killers. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2018/09/25/episode-024-dont-shoot-the-swan/

The creeping horror of knowing something is moving towards you, inescapable and unrelenting in its pursuit is . . . student debt? This week we scared the living daylights out of ourselves by relating It Follows to late-stage capitalism, vaporwave, and classic literature. We also unpack the deeply feminine fear of being taken advantage of by a trusted partner, and why the prototypical nice guy *should* finish last. Content warning: this episode contains in-depth discussions of sexual assault. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2018/09/11/episode-023-it-follows-unfortunately/

Self-indulgence means taking a moment to cover a highly recced movie (both by us and our followers): the Russian 2015 film ‘On Drakon.’ This film smashes all the Metamashina buttons: monster husbands, inescapable female gaze, overcoming generational trauma, and medieval Russian wastelands. We reiterate our favorite points of these tropes as well as exploring the Bad Dragon website for a newfound monster kink . . . And a bonus rant about US healthcare. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2018/08/28/episode-022-oh-dragon/

In the year 2k18 it’s high time that the monster gets the girl. This week we’re joined by Lunaplath to discuss one of the most niche of monster kinks, along with the most endearing: 1954’s 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon' and del Toro’s love letter to it, 'The Shape of Water'. Everyone grab your favourite floatation device and let’s go swimming. Apologies in advance for some audio artefacts — got a bit rough in spots! Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/08/14/episode-021-lover-from-the-black-lagoon/

Who needs true love’s first kiss when you can have a goth fairy godmother? Today - for our 20th episode! - we're joined by Shanon of Network 1901 and Dale of the Disney Culture Club to discuss the original 1950’s Disney Sleeping Beauty and its cultural context, as well as 2014’s retelling Maleficent! (Yes, we’re all pining for a shape-changing crow companion.) Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/07/31/episode-020-babes-be-sleepin/

*Content Warning: EXTREMELY saucy elf fantasies ahead* And thus the girls of Metamashina, thirsty beyond measure, descended to Arda to take their leisure of the Noldor and the Sindar, only to be seduced by the wickedly sensual Sauron. In our deconstruction of the Silmarillion, Tolkien’s most academic work collects dust while we try to determine which of Feanor’s sons is the most f**kable. Looking for a canonical deconstruction full of footnotes? This is not the place. We Harpies aim to break all the rules. Show notes here: https://metamashina.com/2018/07/17/episode-019-the-bible-but-with-elves/

In the second half of our Cyberpunk meltdown, guest Cait (commandercait) and the crew go hardcore on the Matrix sequels Reloaded and Revolutions, and how the story ended up drowning in dated tropes and lowered stakes. Cait talks about conquering The Matrix Online, we have our trench coat trash genre recs, and everyone discusses how the Twins are acceptable sandwich material. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/07/03/episode-018-trench-coat-trash-part-ii/

In this robot edgelord dystopia, those with the most cool-looking indoor sunglasses wins. For Part I on our exploration into the Matrix franchise, we’re joined by Cait (@commandercait) as we explore the original film written and directed by Lilly and Lana Wachowski. Also featured: commentary on the supplemental series The Animatrix, wank on late 90’s/early 00’s cybergoth fashion, themes of identity both on and offline, and an extended bit on falconry. Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/06/19/episode-017-trench-coat-trash-part-i/

Over-the-top badass motherfucker Richard D. Riddick didn’t deserve his character’s eventual destruction through toxic masculinity, but we still love this bald, monster-fighting criminal. On today's episode we chat with "real life" guest Libby on why the first two movies of the franchise worked, and why the third should be immolated on Crematoria. Also, we all get thirsty over Vaako. Can you blame us? Show notes are here: https://metamashina.com/2018/06/05/episode-016-a-man-and-his-dog/ (Also: apologies for the somewhat uneven sound, folks. And when we say "Antarctica," we mean "the Arctic")