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Send us a textIs sex is a human need within marriage? Let's address the tension between those who see "need" language as potentially coercive and those who feel legitimate sexual desires shouldn't be shamed. Psychological research does classify sex as a human need, but the real issue is how couples can co-create a reality for a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. Rather than pressuring reluctant partners, couples should focus on building marriages where both people genuinely want and enjoy sexual intimacy.BECOME ONE OF OUR MONTHLY DONORS:We're aiming for 50 new monthly donors, for even as little as $10 a month! For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationKEEP UP WITH SHEILA THIS SUMMER:Join my Substack! It's free.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:"Diamonds are forever and other fairytales" study from 2015 Podcast with Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz that debunked the father influence statisticCheck out our Orgasm course and our Boost Your Libido course Download our 12-point rubric and scorecard for healthy sexuality Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a text In this episode of the Bare Marriage Podcast, I am talking with Biblical Greek scholar Marg Mowczko about the true meaning of "headship" in the Bible. Marg reveals that the Greek word "kephale" (head) doesn't typically mean "leader" or "authority" in ancient literature, and that no verse actually commands men to lead their wives. Instead, head-body metaphors are used in Scripture to describe unity and mutual care and as a picture of growing into the likeness of Christ for ALL Christians. Together, Marg and I talk about the Biblical evidence of Paul's support for women in ministry roles. We also take a moment to discuss the best Bible versions for more accurate translation in key passages about submission and hierarchy. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONEDMarg's websiteMarg's patreonMarg's blog post on the best Bible versionEverything on 1 Corinthians 11Everything on Ephesians 5Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textAfter a recent social media AMA, we noticed a ton of you wanted us to tackle dating - red flags, green flags, how to choose a great partner. Rebecca and I have been avoiding this topic since we both married young and have limited adult dating experience, but we DO have evidence-based research to share. We're addressing why we need to stop telling singles "God is just teaching you patience" (it's a numbers game!), the "Burn the Haystack Method" for online dating, why some might need to relocate for better options, and the hard truths about red flags versus settling. Fair warning: we're going to make some people uncomfortable, but if you want research-backed advice over platitudes, this episode's for you.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONEDDr Jennie Young & The Burned Haystack MethodOur podcast on why Evangelical Women aren't marrying evangelical menJoin my Substack to keep up with us while the blog is on hiatus for June and JulySupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a text“Soul ties” refers to the belief that when you have sex with someone, you are now joined in the spiritual realm, and that “tie” impedes your ability to ever experience freedom if you marry someone else. Often people claim you have to go through a specific prayer to break the tie, or an exorcism. But is this idea biblical? And does it help or hurt? Today Joanna Sawatsky shares our results of believing in soul ties, and we discuss different ways to talk about heartache and trauma. PRODUCT HIGHLIGHT:Our puberty course The Whole StoryJoin my Substack!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONEDOur book She Deserves Better My series on Soul TiesJohn Eldredge's Podcast series on Soul TiesLisa Bevere Reel with misinformationThe domestic violence website with steps from breaking trauma bondsJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The more of the Four Eden Marriage Steps we take the better our expectations for a successful and blessed marriage. Some people skip one or more - or even all - of these steps. How is that working out today? Bruce C. E. Fleming takes us back to the text of Eden from Genesis chapters 1-3. He noticed the first of these four steps while living the the Congo where multiple wives and even kidnap marriage was practiced. The Tru316 Foundation (www.Tru316.com) is the home of The Eden Podcast with Bruce C. E. Fleming where we “true” the verse of Genesis 3:16. The Tru316 Message is that “God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.” Once Genesis 3:16 is made clear the other passages on women and men become clear too. You are encouraged to access the episodes of Seasons 1-11 of The Eden Podcast for teaching on the seven key passages on women and men. Are you a reader? We invite you to get from Amazon the four books by Bruce C. E. Fleming in The Eden Book Series (Tru316.com/trubooks). Would you like to support the work of the Tru316 Foundation? You can become a Tru Partner here: www.Tru316.com/partner
Send us a textLet's take a close look at the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley! Bethany Jantzi and Ngina Otiende join me to look at some of the things that we find problematic about the book--and explain why evangelicalism needs better resources!RESOURCES:Get our one-sheet download on His Needs, Her NeedsTO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSFind Ngina Otiende on Facebook, Instagram, and at her website Intentional TodayFind Bethany Jantzi on Instagram and at her website Free from ControlCheck out our newest book The Marriage You Want, with stats about what really builds intimacyDownload our rubric on how His Needs, Her Needs (and other books!) scored on sexJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a text What happens when church doesn't seem safe? Or when, in retrospect, you realize it wasn't, even if you threw yourself into it at the time? Today Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to talk about his new book Safe Church, and then Rebecca and Sheila read reader's stories about how the church stole their sex lives—and what we can do about it. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSAndrew Bauman's book Safe ChurchAndrew Bauman on FacebookAndrew's guest post on Safe ChurchCourses: Our Puberty Course (The Whole Story) Our Orgasm Course Our Libido CourseMy blog series on sexual recoveryOur book The Great Sex RescueOur book She Deserves BetterOur Good Girl's/Good Guy's Guides to Great Sex (great for engaged couples)Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textIt's time to walk through some super interesting studies that have recently been published--and see what they say about the intersection of infidelity and beliefs in male hierarchy. Keith joins Sheila to react to the studies!OUR SPONSOR:Thank you to our sponsor, Zondervan and the book Saving Face. The church needs to get away from harmful tropes, and call us towards true community based on vulnerability and safety. Aimee Byrd points the way! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:The Marriage You WantStudy on how affairs aren't linked to sex frequency, and the post about itStudy on how sexism affects infidelityPower to Flirt StudyDifferences in Solitary vs. Dyadic Sexual Desire studyStudy on Heroism by GenderThe IFS World Map 2019 (abuse stats are on pp. 35&36)John Piper on how complementarianism protects women, and Rachel Held Evans' responseOTHER RESEARCH DEEP DIVE PODCASTS:Pink and Blue Brains? What the research says about gender and brain differencesWhy Sex Is Like Chef BoyardeeNew Research on Obligation SexNew Research on Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textIt's an Ask Me Anything episode! Keith and I open talking about the viral video where a woman claims that she felt called by God to iron her husband's clothes before he left for the weekend to be with his mistress. And then Rebecca and I answer your questions about drawing boundaries, dating, protecting kids from abuse in church, and more!OUR SPONSOR:Thank you to our sponsor, Zondervan and the book Saving Face. The church needs to get away from harmful tropes, and call us towards true community based on vulnerability and safety. Aimee Byrd points the way! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:Our book She Deserves BetterOur new book The Marriage You WantLast week's podcast on rumination and our one-sheet download for The Love DareJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textThe Love Dare, based on the movie Fireproof, has been a huge best-selling marriage book for two decades. But does it actually contain good advice? Today on episode 280 of the Bare Marriage podcast, we show how The Love Dare simply regurgitates all the typical harmful evangelical marriage advice, telling women to make themselves smaller; never bring up issues; paper over problems; and, of course, never divorce, even if you're being abused.OUR SPONSOR:Thank you to our sponsor, Zondervan and the book Saving Face. The church needs to get away from harmful tropes, and call us towards true community based on vulnerability and safety. Aimee Byrd points the way! TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:Our Harmful Materials stickers to put on your problematic booksAll of our one sheets: Our new book The Marriage You WantJoin Sheila on her social media channels: Instagram, YouTube, Threads, FacebookOur podcast on forgiveness after traumaJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textWhat if vulnerability and authenticity are vital for true community? And what if we can never truly know God, and each other, until we know ourselves? It's episode 279 of the Bare Marriage podcast, featuring Aimee Byrd talking about her new book!Aimee Byrd's Book Saving Face Aimee Byrd's SubstackTO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:Our new book The Marriage You WantJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textAl Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently did a podcast bemoaning the fact that young women, unlike young men, are giving up on the "creation order" and abandoning marriage. But he distorts the argument, and misses the main problem: Women want to get married, but too many of the men available don't make good partners. WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.My recent article about Becoming the Pastor's WifeTO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:Our new book The Marriage You WantAl Mohler's "Briefing"The original Wall Street Journal Article: American Women Are Giving up on MarriageEuropean study about fertility and attitude towards household tasksTime study about mothers based on marital statusJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textSo many evangelical pastors teach that men are rational while women are emotional. But is this true? And if women are more emotionally mature than men, then doesn't that mean that men need to learn from women? Listen in as Keith and Sheila dissect several clips from Josh Howerton, Emerson Eggerichs, Josh McPherson, and Matt Walsh.WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:Our new book The Marriage You WantOpen letter to Focus on the FamilyOur one-sheet download on the problems with Love & RespectEmerson Eggerichs' sermon dissection and the podcast that goes with itCarolyn Custis James' MaelstromJosh Howerton clip Matt Walsh post Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textWe know watching porn is wrong--but are romance novels just as bad? We've often heard that comparison made: Sure, guys watch porn, but remember that women read novels! Today Rebecca and I talk about when the comparison may be fair, and when it isn't. And we ask: how should we see romance novels or erotic novels? Listen in and see what you think--as we try to reason it through!WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.And join Beth Allison Barr and Karen Swallow Prior and me for a FREE webinar TONIGHT, March 27, at 9 pm EST. Registration is FREE. TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:Our new book The Marriage You WantOur puberty course for parents to talk to kids about puberty and sex: The Whole StoryStudy that Rebecca mentioned about dark romanceStudy on how reading erotica can change our behaviourJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textWhat if marriage replaced ordination as a woman's path to ministry? What if we've systematically erased the stories of women ministering in the past, and in so doing silenced women's voices and removed opportunities to serve Jesus? Today Beth Allison Barr joins us to talk about her new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife!REGISTER FOR OUR FREE WEBINARJoin Beth Allison Barr, Sheila, and Karen Swallow Prior on Thursday, March 27 at 9 pm for a FREE webinar (recording will be available afterwards if you can't make it live).Register hereBECOMING THE PASTOR'S WIFEFind the book hereTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTOur new book The Marriage You Want (read the Amazon reviews!) Everywhere you can get itKeith's series on The Danvers StatementOur Podcast on the Danvers StatementBeth's original podcast with us about The Making of Biblical Womanhood:Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textThe Marriage You Want is LIVE! Our book launched this week, and in this week's podcast we take a broad, investigative look into the state of evangelical marriage publishing, and why there has very little change in the top 10 books in decades. Plus what it means to have SAFE and HEALTHY marriage advice! Come celebrate with us in episode 274 of Bare Marriage!THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTOrder it on AmazonOther places to buy! TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTDownload our healthy sexuality rubric and see how the bestselling marriage books fared!Our podcast on the 5 faulty premises of Christian booksJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textIt's episode 273 of the Bare Marriage podcast! We found that certain beliefs are correlated most with emotional immaturity--passive aggressiveness; outbursts of anger; emotional dysregulation. In our research for our book The Marriage You Want, we found that when couples believe the husband should have the tie breaking vote, they score lower on maturity.Is this because emotionally immature people are drawn to these beliefs? Or do these beliefs hamper maturity? Today we talk about why it's actually both, and what that means for our own personal responsibility.THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTOrder it on AmazonOther non-Amazon links! Send your pre-order receipts to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com to get our pre-order bonus!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTDownload our healthy sexuality rubric and see how the bestselling marriage books fared!Check out our post on why complementarianism is linked to emotional immaturity and toxic church culturesJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textWhat if the "acts of service" love language is masking something else--the totally unequal division of labor that many couples have, and Gary Chapman ignores? Plus does the "physical touch" love language mask something wrong in the bedroom? ALL NEW BONUS STATS today! Some of them aren't even in the new book!PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTPre-Order on AmazonGet other links to Pre-OrderSend in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.comTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONEDOur post about the study showing that the love languages are junk scienceJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textPREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTPre-Order on AmazonGet other links to Pre-OrderSend in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.comTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books:The Great Sex RescueShe Deserves BetterThe Good Girl's Guide to Great Sexand The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textPrioritizing your marriage can be tough. How do we spend enough time together? Do we need more date nights? And MOMS—don't forget to be a wife first and a mom second! But in all this talk, are we missing the bigger point? If we're functioning as a team, doing life together, then affection will grow. But if you see your kids as threats to your marriage, or think you can connect with a date night when you haven't been in the trenches together all week, you're not going to feel close. A new way of thinking about prioritizing your relationship—without the GUILT! Based on new stats from The Marriage You Want! PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTPre-Order on AmazonGet other links to Pre-OrderSend in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.comTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textEver tried to find a compromise when you're having an argument—but even the compromise doesn't seem fair? In today's podcast we explain why—using what we call The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs. We talk about this in our new book The Marriage You Want! Basically, compromise only works if you both start off on equal footing. But if one of you is already doing more than their fair share, compromise just makes it even more unequal. So let's talk about foundation vs. frills, how to overcome entitlement, and why unfairness can't go on forever! PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTPre-Order on AmazonGet other links to Pre-OrderSend in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.comTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textWhat is the biggest key to a great marriage? Teamwork! Let's talk about how teamwork is associated with all the good outcomes we want for marriage—better sex; feeling close; resolving conflict—everything! But complementarianism, on the other hand, is associated with all the bad outcomes. Good outcomes and bad outcomes tend to travel together—and complementarianism travels with the bad stuff! Hear about all our new data from our new book The Marriage You Want! LINKSPREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANTPre-Order on AmazonGet other links to Pre-OrderSend in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.comTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTReel from BrandonTalksMarriageOur reel on whether women want leaders or someone to take initiativeThe podcast that reel was based on (Marriage on the Rock)The Gospel Coalition reel about doing “risky” thingsThe original podcast where Cynthia Westfall appearedJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Follow the show to make sure you don't miss out on our conversation with Sheila Wray Gregoire, host of the Bare Marriage podcast and author of several books including The Great Sex Rescue, and her husband Dr. Keith Gregoire, co-author of The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex, and their upcoming book The Marriage You Want: Moving Beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health which releases in March 2025.Episode 30 | Sheila Wray Gregoire & Keith Gregoire: First Do No Harm will be available Tuesday, February 4th!Awaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)
Send us a textIn our research looking at marital and sexual satisfaction among evangelicals, we've found that over and over again our best-selling books, and our megachurch pastors, teach things that are shown to lead to worse outcomes. Why? What's going on? In today's podcast we share the faulty premise that is at the heart of evangelical marriage advice, and the four toxic teachings that flow from that false premise. But when we fix that first premise—then our advice can finally get healthy (and Jesus-centered!)LINKSPre-Order The Marriage You Want!Pre-Order on AmazonGet other links to Pre-OrderSend in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.comTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTAccess our rubric scoring the various best-selling marriage and sex books Our podcast talking about the problems with the “research” supporting Love & Respect Our podcast with the issues with Marriage on the Rock The Voddie Baucham clip Our round up of the issues with the book The Excellent Wife The Jimmy Evans clip The Tim Keller clip The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #1 The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #2 Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textThe idea that men need respect while women need love has been treated as gospel truth in the evangelical world. Best-sellers have been written based on it; it informs almost every marriage sermon. What if it's not true? Using data from our marriage survey of 7000 people, we show how reality is very different—and what this means for how we should talk about marriage! TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSPre-order The Marriage You Want! https://amzn.to/3YQfqMySend your pre-order receipts to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com to get our pre-order bonus and an invite to the launch team!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTTake our marriage survey yourself as a date night!Our synopsis of everything wrong with Love & Respect (with other posts and podcasts linked in the bottom)Our open letter to Focus on the FamilyJonathan Pokluda clipFemale Influencer clip #1Female influencer clip #2Josh and Jana HowertonJosh Howerton “Give him a crown”Steve Gaines' sermon on respectJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textSo many of us got sucked into believing toxic stuff about marriage and sex in the evangelical church! But unless we figured out WHY we believed that, we're likely to get suckered in again to toxic stuff—just DIFFERENT toxic stuff. So today, Rebecca and I are doing a postmortem, looking at what it is about church that leaves us vulnerable to believing things that are toxic and rather easy to see through. Let's become critical thinkers, so we don't get sucked in again! TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSThe Marriage You Want. You can preorder it here!Send your pre-order receipts to: preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com The preorder bonuses and invites to the launch team will be sent out next week.Check out our new plans for 2025, with links to all our social media channelsThe Great Sex Rescue--the Kindle sale is over but the paperback's on sale!Focus on the Family posts about Jane and JohnJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textOur big announcement: We're peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let's talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers? COMING IN 2025Pre-Order The Marriage You WantJoin our email list to be notified about the launch teamTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:Our journal article Sanctified SexismThe Great Sex Rescue (our book using this dataset)Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation Fact Checking her claimsShaunti Feldhahn claiming Christian researchers can't be peer reviewedPodcast where we dissected one of Shaunti Feldhahn's survey questionsDissecting another survey questionThe One Sheet of the problems with For Women OnlyShaunti Feldhahn's Statement about UsOur statement in responseAnalysis of Shaunti FeJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textAdvent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith shares her stories of miscarriages and losses—as well as great celebrations, and what it means to embrace a life that is really messy. And we look at how we can celebrate the Incarnation by being Jesus' hands and feet, seeing the work fighting sex trafficking that The Well House is doing. It's the Christmas season, everyone! Stocking Stuffers:Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONEDFind Even After EverythingDonate to The Well HouseDonate to the work we do! Help us meet our 2025 goals. Get a tax-deductible receipt for donations within the USOr, if you'd rather, join our Patreon and support us that way, while getting access to an exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Send us a textJimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences around the country. But for years he also Mark Driscoll on his leadership team. He got his start at Gateway Church under Robert Morris, who has been accused of grooming and sexually abusing a teen girl, starting when she was 12. And more recently audio of Evans' bullying behavior has dropped. So let's examine his book Marriage on the Rock—and we'll find that he stresses one-sided sex as obligation; says dangerous things about abuse; and expects women to shoulder the mental and emotional load for the family. Our Sponsor:Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases.These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!Stocking Stuffers:Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!LINKS: Get Our One Sheet Download of Marriage on the RockTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED:The audio of Jimmy Evans' bullying behavior in the Daystar meetingEvidence of Mark Driscoll being on the leadership team at XO MarriageJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever feel like your body is a stranger to you? Like you're plagued with insecurity, can't find peace in your relationships? What if it's because we're running away from part of who we are, and we haven't been able to honor who God made us to be? Christy Bauman, a licensed therapist, noticed in her counseling that her clients often didn't have a clear identity or were able to articulate who they were. So she invites us on a journey of recovering rites of passage—where we honor sacred moments in our lives, honor our birthright, honor who God made us to be. We honor the good and the bad; we lament what is lost but we celebrate what we've achieved. And when we're able to do these things, we can finally be comfortable in our own skin! Join us for this deep and personal conversation. OUR SPONSOR:Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Things Mentioned in the Podcast:Christy Bauman's book Her RitesFind Christy, her book, and the songsGreat Sex Rescue is on for under $10 on Amazon right now! (who knows how long that will last?)Our peer reviewed article in the Sociology of Religion journalJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the last few years ,when male teachers have presented a pornified view of sex and women have said "no", women have been accused of being prudes. But it is okay to reject objectification. A close look at Josh Butler, Gary Thomas coercing women into sending nude photos, and more--all of whom called us ashamed of sex for saying no.SPECIAL: The Great Sex Rescue is on major sale on Amazon right now! Get it hereTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED:Ngina Otiende's initial article about Gary ThomasOur review of Gary Thomas' book Married Sex My original article about how Married Sex coerces nude photos Our podcast where we talked about Gisele Pelicot The Male Centric Sex podcastTheology in the Raw episode with Josh Butler Brett McCracken about Josh ButlerTwitter thread with Gary ThomasJuli Slattery's article quoting meJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or are you worried that you are too hard and demanding on them? Well today I talk with Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting coach, as we get into the nitty gritty of how to find that balance between being authoritarian and overly permissive. Cut the drama, cut the power struggles, and learn how to thrive as a family!SIGN UP for our FREE Parenting Webinar with Wendy! The Compassionate Discipline Workshop, Tuesday November 19 at 1 pm EST!THINGS MENTIONEDWendy's Website, Fresh Start FamilyFind Wendy on Instagram Listen to our last podcast with Wendy, Parenting without YellingTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
MOVIE DISCUSSION: Sheila Gregoire: Bare Marriage Podcast / Bare Marriage Blog / Author Page Sheila Gregoire of the Bare Marriage podcast joins Melvin to discuss The Assistant, a hidden gem of pure psychological drama! It's depiction of modern office work in the film industry is understated, dour, and timely, as it tackles a combination of workplace inequality, systematic issues, and the thin line between the complacent and the complicit.Topics:(PATREON EXCLUSIVE) 21-minutes discussing a report finding that bait, controversy, and enragement posting bolstered lucrative engagement on Threads (similar to other social media), and how this negatively impacts the platform, but also demands we utilize them in a healthier way. (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)The Assistant is a bleak depiction of not only workplace abuse but also of human relationships.Although uneventful, the film has perpetual unease and eeriness.Sheila observed how the film depicts food, and the two discuss its non-nutritious showcase of a biological workplace distraction.Medication plays a significant role in the setting of the film, making overt allusions to the film's boss as a caricature of Harvey Weinstein.Exploitation, abuse, and unethical practices in a company are ultimately anti-capitalist, even if the line is going up and to the right.Pondering if abusive hierarchical structures are more common and dangerous in the church than in the workplace.Sheila, “Often we feel like when we are in these situations that we are powerless… but quite often we do.”Is Jane complicit?Recommendations:For Our Daughters (2024) (Short Film)TÁR (2022) (Movie)Bombshell (2018) (Movie)MAILBAG: Send questions with your first name and we'll answer them in future episodes! Support the showSupport on Patreon for Unique Perks! Early access to uncut episodes Vote on a movie/show we review One-time reward of two Cinematic Doctrine Stickers & Pins Social Links: Threads Website Instagram Facebook Group
Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He's an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are they so offended? Rick Pidcock joins Rebecca and Connor Lindenbach for a deep dive—and then Rebecca and Connor talk more about our anemic view of fatherhood. TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Things MentionedRick Pidcock's article about coming after BlueyJeremy Pryor's article about Bluey turning fathers into mothersRick Pidcock's blogJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Christa Brown was sexually assaulted dozens of times by her youth pastor when she was 15. She was made to repent and apologize to his wife. The pastor just got moved around from church to church for decades. When Christa's daughter reached the same age Christa was when she was assaulted, she went public—and started the movement to push the SBC towards accountability for the sexual abuse crisis in their midst. She's written a memoir called BaptistLand, and today we talk about Christa's fight—and how SBC megachurch pastors today are still demonizing “little girls” rather than holding men accountable. THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST: Pick up our Great Sex Rescue Tookit—to help start important conversations to those close to youTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!IMPORTANT LINKS:Christa Brown's book BaptistLandChrista on TwitterChrista on SubstackRead the Guideposts reportThe original Houston Chronicle articleNews article about the amicus brief filed by SBC entities AGAINST a sexual assault victimJosh Howerton sermon clipSee the documentary For Our DaughtersFollow the Sons of Patriarchy podcast about Doug Wilson on SpotifyJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Talking to your kids about sex & puberty is awkward! And over the years the church has made some big mistakes. Today we talk about how to avoid the biggest ones--and some encouragement for how to do this with as little awkwardness as possible.OUR SEX AND PUBERTY COURSE:Check out our revamped version of The Whole Story--our sex and puberty course for parents to share with kids. It's video-based, and it makes covering all the info much easier. It's on sale until Monday, October 28 at midnight.TO SUPPORT US:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED:Our book She Deserves BetterJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We aren't going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk about her new documentary For Our Daughters, which shows how beliefs about gender, power and politics that are rampant in the church actually contribute to abuse. And Pastor Trey Ferguson joins us to comment on a recent article he wrote explaining how evangelicalism's views of sex, which ignore intimacy, contribute to abuse too.OUR SPONSOR:Dr. Camden's wonderful new book Recovering from Purity Culture launches this week! Learn the 5 myths of purity culture, how they affected you, and best of all—how to heal from them. Highly practical and insightful!Plus Sheila wrote the foreword!https://drcamden.com/book/TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED:Check out our Hazardous Materials stickers to go on your books!Kristin's documentary For Our DaughtersThe website for the filmJesus and John WaynePastor Trey's article on Reframing SexTrey Ferguson's Online ChurchTrey Ferguson's book Theologizin' BiggerAndy Savage's bio on his new church's websiteMy video about Andy Savage not returning to ministryJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We know purity culture hurt so many of us. But how do we actually move on and recover from purity culture? Today Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to look at the 5 myths of purity culture, and how to heal and get to the other side!OUR FREE WEBINAR!Join Rebecca and me as we host Camden for a FREE webinar looking more into these myths, where we find them, and where we go from here! It'll be a super fun hour with some prizes, games, and lots of inside scoop!Monday, October 14, 8 pm EST. Sign up hereTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:Dr. Camden's book Recovering from Purity CultureGet Dr. Camden's pre-order bonuses!Follow Dr. Camden onlineFind Dr. Camden on InstagramJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but when the wife comes to Christ first, it's only 17%? Today Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz, both academics looking into gender relations in church, join me to try to track down the source. Spoiler alert: People seem to have made this up about 30 years ago—and they keep quoting it! We look at what happens when churches assume this stat is true.OUR SPONSOREver, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith InitiativeAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!THINGS MENTIONED:Miranda Zapor Cruz': The Myth of the 93% Julie Roys' podcast with Amanda CunninghamTim Clinton ClipDanny Akin citing the “stat” Josh Howerton clip (around 20:15)J.D. Greear clip The Baptist Press articleThe Orthodox Barbie clip The Christ Church of the Valley handbook with the “stat” Matt Chandler saying he preaches to men: (around 36-37 minutes)ABOUT MIRANDA ZAPOR CRUZ:Find Miranda Zapor Cruz on Facebook Order her book Faithful Politics ABOUT BETH ALLISON BARR:Find Beth Allison Barr on Threads Pre-order Becoming tJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We're all about healthy advice for marriage and sex. But what if evangelical teachings around parenting have also been messed up? And how can we parent in a healthy way? David and Amanda Erickson join us to talk about their new book The Flourishing Family, based on Scripture, brain science, attachment theory, and more. THIS is how we should parent! OUR SPONSOREver, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too! THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCASTThe Flourishing FamilyFollow David and Amanda on InstagramFollow them on FacebookThe clip of the Baptist pastor talking about spankingOur post where we look at the research about spankingPre-Order The Marriage You Want (our new book coming in March!)Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33% orgasm never or rarely. The good news is that if you're in that 33%--you can still get to the 48%!Today Rebecca and I look back at all the other episodes we've talked about orgasms, and have a great time discussing how we can learn to help couples prioritize her pleasure!THE ORGASM COURSEIt's on sale until Monday, September 23 at midnight! When you purchase the regular course, you'll get the men's version added for free!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Things Mentioned in the PodcastThe Great Sex RescueEpisode 74: You're Not Broken if Orgasm Is ElusiveEpisode 92: All about OrgasmsEpisode 129: Where Emerson Eggerichs Ignores Marital Rape (and doesn't understand women's arousal)Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef BoyardeeEpisode 168: The Myth of the Magic PenisJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We know it's not all men who are predators. But it's far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is safe is to look at their words and their actions. And the words of far too many evangelical leaders and authors and pastors are straight up rape culture. After what happened to Gisele Pelicot, I'm not willing to put up with it anymore. No more Every Man's Battle rape culture mindset in the church! TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSOur Sponsor:Rebecoming: Come Out of Hiding to Live as Your God-Given Essential Self. This amazing book is one of the best I've read to explain basic counseling concepts, and gives you practical exercises to work through as you try to get unstuck. Highly recommend!Things MentionedThe 7 Point Evangelical Confession of 2024Josh Howerton's sermon clipA synopsis of the horrible ordeal of Gisele PelicotThe Great Sex RescueThe Great Sex Rescue ToolkitThe Every Man's Battle one sheet downloadCoinswallow's post on InstagramCheck out Sheila's books:The Great Sex RescueShe Deserves BetterThe Good Girl's Guide to Great Sexand The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
It's a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move forward. If you've been confused by terms like trauma, attachment theory, the Stone Age brain, and more, Dr. Merry Lin joins us for a primer that can help us get unstuck—and rebecome who we were meant to be!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGEIf you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!ABOUT DR. MERRY LIN:See her book RebecomingFind Dr. Merry's websiteFind Dr. Merry on InstagramTHINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:The Orgasm CourseSelf Awareness TestJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now? Can we actually grow “holier”? A beautiful conversation with Karen Stiller, author of the book Holiness Here. We tackle envy, joy, contentment—and even grief, as she shares about processing the death of her husband. TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGEIf you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!ABOUT KARENFind Karen's book Holiness HereFind the article Karen wrote about griefTHINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:The post I wrote for Karen about what churches need todayJoin the Bare Marriage cruise, February 2025!The Orgasm CourseWe're in the midst of revamping The Whole Story, our sex and puberty course! If you purchase it now you can still work through it, and then you'll have access to the new one when it's out in two months. See Keith and me speak at a marriage conference in Lead, South Dakota, September 27 & 28Check out Sheila's books:The Great Sex RescueShe Deserves BetterThe Good Girl's Guide to Great Sexand The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don't think purity culture was harmful; and so much more! And we throw data and nuance into the mix too.HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGEIf you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!OUR SPONSORIt's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSDownload our rubric and scorecard for the problematic booksCheck out our Toolkit with handouts on all the toxic teachings, and moreThe Good Girl's/Good Guy's Guides to Great Sex (make them the engagement gifts!)The Great Sex RescueMy Instagram Channel where all the questions came fromLast week's podcast on authoritarian controlPodcast from a Pelvic Floor PhysiotherapistJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what if these marriage books were giving advice that mirrored coercive control?Bare Marriage podcast, episode 246, featuring Bethany Jantzi. Bethany did her thesis on coercive control, and today she shows us how these books use methods like: diminishing/devaluing personhood; undermining autonomy; creating psychological dependency; using a fear-based system of control; suppressing critical thinking; and conditioning compliance. And all of those things factor into abuse rates and coercive control. And we can do better than this!OUR SPONSOR:It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!TO SUPPORT US:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!FIND BETHANY:Free From Control on InstagramBethany's website: Free From Control THINGS MENTIONED:How God Sees Women by Terran WilliamsMarg Mowczko on Bible InterpretationsOur Series on the Danvers Statement Timestamps0.11 Intro11.30 Complimentarianism18.24 God Knows Best31.50 Control and Domination40.10 Wife as a Training Ground59.30 Are We Under Undue InfluenceJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it's affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings and I sit down to talk about the problems with this book that tells women they must obey their husbands and submit—no matter what.Our Sponsor:It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast: Download our Onesheet on The Excellent WifeOur podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect Marissa's post on 10 reasons parents have a hard time giving up spanking 4 Concerns with Biblical Counseling About Tia Levings:Tia's book, The Well-Trained Wife Find Tia on Instagram and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist)Listen to last week's podcast with TiaAbout Marissa Burt:Find Marissa on Instagram and X Read Marissa's SubstackJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn't supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from Gothard and more. It made her sick. It made her hopeless. But finally she realized, no one else is going to rescue us. I have to do this for me and the kids. And she did. Her story is riveting, touching, and relevant. Listen to a Well-Trained Wife!Our Sponsor:(Put the Kingdom Girl's Bible in from last week, etc.)About Tia Levings:Tia's book, The Well-Trained Wife https://amzn.to/4cVfZbyFind Tia on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tialevingswriter/ and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist): https://tialevings.substack.com/Things Mentioned:Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out!With thanks to our sponsor:If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book Hurt and Healed by the Church To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast: Our book She Deserves BetterOur podcast looking at the long-term effects of the modesty messageWhy is Dannah Gresh calling 8-year-old bellies intoxicating?Our one-sheet on Lies Young Women BelieveThe reel from Our Savior's ChurchThe side-by-side plagiarized apology from Josh HowertonJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to talk about his new book Ministers of Propaganda, and to look at how many evangelical leaders have used logical fallacies to keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Plus let's look at how to get back to the way of Jesus!With thanks to our sponsor:If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book Hurt and Healed by the Church To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast: Find Scott Coley's book Ministers of PropagandaFind Scott on XCheck out The Great Sex Rescue ToolkitJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.