Podcasts about great sex rescue

Today we're talking about marriage - specifically, how Christian marriages might be missing the mark. I'm sitting down with Sheila Gregoire, a researcher who's spent years studying what actually makes relationships work. And here's something interesting: the biggest threat to marital satisfaction isn't what most people think. It's not sex or money - it's housework. Sheila isn't just another marriage author. She's surveyed 7,000 people to understand the dynamics of healthy relationships. Her work challenges a lot of the traditional evangelical advice that's been circulating for decades - advice that often creates more distance than connection. We're going to explore how Christian marriage books have sometimes gotten it wrong. How messages about leadership, submission, and roles can actually harm the very relationships they're trying to protect. We'll talk about what real partnership looks like, how couples can communicate better, and what it means to truly see each other. This conversation is about reimagining marriage - not as a power structure, but as a genuine partnership that reflects mutual respect and love. So if you're curious about building a healthier relationship, or if you're tired of the same old marriage advice, this episode is for you.Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well as a sought-after speaker and an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy, evidence-based, and biblical. She and her husband, Keith, live in Ontario, Canada, near their two adult daughters and three grandbabies. Sheila also knits. Even in line at the grocery store.Sheila's Book:The Marriage You WantSheila's Recommendations:The Deep Rooted MarriageBecoming the Pastor's WifeSubscribe to Our Substack: Shifting CultureConnect with Joshua: jjohnson@allnations.usGo to www.shiftingculturepodcast.com to interact and donate. Every donation helps to produce more podcasts for you to enjoy.Follow on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Threads, Bluesky or YouTubeConsider Giving to the podcast and to the ministry that my wife and I do around the world. Just click on the support the show link belowShifting Culture Productions Support the show

The pastors' wives chat with marriage and sex guru, Sheila Gregoire again! Sheila is the author of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better.In this episode they talk about Sheila's newest book and how it is a great resource for church leaders: The Marriage You Want, Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health.Sheila answers questions like what struggle surprisingly causes a three times greater drop in marital satisfaction than sex or money issues? When does compromise become harmful in a marriage? And how do we uncover underlying issues when we're in conflict with our spouse? Follow along with Sheila: https://linktr.ee/sheilagregoire?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAab86eUc5wcH3TEIMnjlUoRotOBalqVrDsaV83f_W_gewikcwBJboiNAO5g_aem_QpsHgoYwmnqAdrPKf2qH8gTo purchase the BOOK, head here: ⁠https://pastorswivestellall.com/book⁠⁠To shop our MERCH, head here: ⁠https://pastorswivestellall.com/shop⁠⁠Want to support the Pastors' Wives Tell All podcast ministry? Become a patron: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/pastorswivestellall ⁠⁠SUBSCRIBE: ⁠Sign up⁠ for our email list and receive updates on new episodes, free gifts, and all the fun! Email sign up ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠!CONTACT US: ⁠hello@pastorswivestellall.com⁠⁠FOLLOW US:Website: ⁠⁠pastorswivestellall.com⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠@pastorswivestellall⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠@pastorswivestellall⁠⁠JESSICA:Instagram: ⁠⁠@jessica_taylor_83⁠⁠, ⁠⁠@come_away_missions⁠⁠, ⁠⁠@do_good_project__⁠⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠Come Away Missions⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Do Good Project⁠⁠Websites: ⁠⁠Do Good Project⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Come Away Missions⁠⁠JENNA:Instagram: ⁠⁠@jennaallen⁠⁠, ⁠⁠@jennaallendesign⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠@JennaAllenDesign⁠⁠Website: ⁠⁠Jenna Allen Design⁠⁠STEPHANIE:Instagram: ⁠⁠@msstephaniegilbert⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠I Literally LOL⁠⁠Website: ⁠⁠Stephanie Gilbert⁠

We all want a marriage that feels like home. We long for a partner who is there for us through all of life's challenges and griefs, who is in on all our inside jokes, who delights in the family we've built together, who looks with hope toward the future with a shared faith and an arm firmly around our shoulders. But how do we get there? What actually works in the real world and honors the picture of marriage found in Scripture?Based on the findings of their meticulous research, Sheila Wray Gregoire and Dr. Keith Gregoire dispel the pervasive myths about what makes a happy marriage. Rather than relying on gender stereotypes, they look at what actually creates intimacy, emotional health, and connection, asking deeper questions that lead to real healing and growth in your relationship with your spouse.With enlightening stories, survey results, and practical tools, this book will help readers create a marriage they love. And with the evidence-based, Scripture-honoring advice in this book, that just may be closer than you imagine. Today, Dr. Stephanie talks with Sheila & Keith about the new book The Marriage You Want, and Dr. Stephanie adds in some of the neurodiverse lens.Dr. Stephanie asks Sheila & Dr. Keith:What did you find about the marriage triangle (God at the top and husband and wife on the bottom) and how that triangle can get skewed?You open a chapter with the controversial statement, "You should not prioritize sex in marriage." Talk a bit more about that as authors of books on healthy sexual marital relationships.What is the unfairness threshold?How does a couple grow intimacy?Do Christian books empower men or make them seem fragile and needy?Dr. Stephanie will do a course based on the new book this summer! Join now!https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/contact-usAbout our Guests:Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well as a sought-after speaker and an award-winning author of 9 books, including the Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy, evidence-based, and biblical.Dr. Keith Gregoire is a physician and coauthor with Sheila on The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex, a companion to Sheila's award-winning The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex.The couple lives in Ontario, Canada.Find out more at: https://baremarriage.com/

In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Alison talks with Sheila Wray Gregoire, groundbreaking author of The Great Sex Rescue. They confront harmful misconceptions about sexual intimacy within Christian marriages, amplifying the often-overlooked voices of women. Sheila shares powerful insights drawn from her extensive research involving over 20,000 Christian women, challenging damaging narratives and revealing startling truths about sexual satisfaction, obligation, and intimacy. You'll learn: * The 4 harmful teachings that negatively impact sexual intimacy * Why “sex as obligation” is so destructive for women * How to reframe your sex story with your spouse * Practical steps toward recovering true intimacy Sheila's compassionate yet bold approach offers hope, clarity, and practical wisdom for those longing to rewrite their sexual stories, reclaiming God's true design for intimacy. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 125: Recovering From Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith with Dr. Camden Morgante Episode 126: Restoring Wonder & Play in Intimacy—Navigating Sexual Brokenness, Safety, and Vulnerability with Therapist Sam Jolman Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this powerful episode of Honey, We Need to Chat, we sit down with bestselling authors Sheila and Keith Gregoire to discuss why traditional views on intimacy may be hurting your relationship more than helping.

Felicia Molano, a certified sex therapist and trauma specialist, discussed her extensive training, including 90 credits in sexuality, 50 hours of supervision, and 300 hours of direct client contact and professional membership of AASECT. She specializes in EMDR for trauma, including sexual trauma, and works with adults and older teens. Felicia also counsels sex offenders, emphasizing rehabilitation and prevention. She highlighted common issues like betrayal trauma, libido mismatches, and problematic sexual behaviors. Felicia advocates for comprehensive sexual education and healthy relationships, using tools like the Gottman method and resources like Meet Rosy and "The Great Sex Rescue" for Christian couples.0:00:00 - Intro0:00:21 - Training & Certification Requirements of Sex Therapists0:02:05 - Explanation of EMDR & It's Applications 0:03:39 - Challenges & Emotional Impact of Working with Trauma 0:04:50 - Working with Sex Offenders 0:09:50 - Common Issues for Sex Therapists 0:12:40 - Myths & Facts with Pornography 0:16:10 - Healthy Sex & Principles 0:24:00 - Asexuality 0:25:56 - Working Past Trauma 0:29:30 - Fetishes & Power 0:33:45 - Better Sex for Average Couple 0:35:30 - Resources for Sex Information 0:37:02 - Sexuality, Religion & God 0:40:15 - Female Orgasm & Psychological Blocks 0:42:01 - Single People, Apps & Casual Sex 0:43:05 - Relationships That Go the Distance 0:44:15 - When One Partner Can't Have Sex 0:45:55 - Technology & Sex 0:47:50 - Older Females with Minors 0:52:40 - Trans & Gender Dysphoria 0:57:53 - Erectile Dysfunction, Health & Treatment 1:02:07 - Pacific Behavioral Health 1:04:05 - Outro Pacific Behavioral Health website:https://www.pacificbehavioralhealth.com/therapists/felicia-molanoChuck Shute link tree:https://linktr.ee/chuck_shuteSupport the showThanks for Listening & Shute for the Moon!

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Greg & Stacey got to meet and talk with a couple we've wanted to know for a long time... a couple offering hope for men and women harmed by toxic messages.Sheila Wray Gregoire has been a writer and blogger for many years. But in 2021, with the release of The Great Sex Rescue (which she co-authored with Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky), she became an "infamous" name in evangelical Christian circles. The book calls out by name Christian books and authors whose messages contribute to harm within marriages and to individuals.Along with her husband, Dr. Keith Gregoire, Sheila continues to promote the message that God intended men and women to experience incredible sexual intimacy in their marriages, and to provide resources to help people identify and heal from damaging messages they've always heard.Their latest book, The Marriage You Want: Moving Beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health, releases March 11, 2025.#sheilawraygregoire #keithgregoire #thegreatsexrescue #themarriageyouwant #baremarriage #sexualintimacy #greatsex #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversationSheila's website: Bare MarriageSheila on InstagramSheila & Keith's (and co-authors') books on AmazonVideo Course: The Whole Story: "The Talk" for Parents and KidsAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Follow the show to make sure you don't miss out on our conversation with Sheila Wray Gregoire, host of the Bare Marriage podcast and author of several books including The Great Sex Rescue, and her husband Dr. Keith Gregoire, co-author of The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex, and their upcoming book The Marriage You Want: Moving Beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health which releases in March 2025.Episode 30 | Sheila Wray Gregoire & Keith Gregoire: First Do No Harm will be available Tuesday, February 4th!Awaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Send us a textOur big announcement: We're peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let's talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers? COMING IN 2025Pre-Order The Marriage You WantJoin our email list to be notified about the launch teamTO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:Our journal article Sanctified SexismThe Great Sex Rescue (our book using this dataset)Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation Fact Checking her claimsShaunti Feldhahn claiming Christian researchers can't be peer reviewedPodcast where we dissected one of Shaunti Feldhahn's survey questionsDissecting another survey questionThe One Sheet of the problems with For Women OnlyShaunti Feldhahn's Statement about UsOur statement in responseAnalysis of Shaunti FeJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

MOVIE DISCUSSION: Sheila Gregoire: Bare Marriage Podcast / Bare Marriage Blog / Author Page Sheila Gregoire of the Bare Marriage podcast joins Melvin to discuss The Assistant, a hidden gem of pure psychological drama! It's depiction of modern office work in the film industry is understated, dour, and timely, as it tackles a combination of workplace inequality, systematic issues, and the thin line between the complacent and the complicit.Topics:(PATREON EXCLUSIVE) 21-minutes discussing a report finding that bait, controversy, and enragement posting bolstered lucrative engagement on Threads (similar to other social media), and how this negatively impacts the platform, but also demands we utilize them in a healthier way. (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)The Assistant is a bleak depiction of not only workplace abuse but also of human relationships.Although uneventful, the film has perpetual unease and eeriness.Sheila observed how the film depicts food, and the two discuss its non-nutritious showcase of a biological workplace distraction.Medication plays a significant role in the setting of the film, making overt allusions to the film's boss as a caricature of Harvey Weinstein.Exploitation, abuse, and unethical practices in a company are ultimately anti-capitalist, even if the line is going up and to the right.Pondering if abusive hierarchical structures are more common and dangerous in the church than in the workplace.Sheila, “Often we feel like when we are in these situations that we are powerless… but quite often we do.”Is Jane complicit?Recommendations:For Our Daughters (2024) (Short Film)TÁR (2022) (Movie)Bombshell (2018) (Movie)MAILBAG: Send questions with your first name and we'll answer them in future episodes! Support the showSupport on Patreon for Unique Perks! Early access to uncut episodes Vote on a movie/show we review One-time reward of two Cinematic Doctrine Stickers & Pins Social Links: Threads Website Instagram Facebook Group

What can go wrong in our marriages when people work from beliefs that put women down? Sheila Gregoire from The Bare Marriage Podcast gives her answer in the light of a corrected reading pf Genesis 3:16 on this BEST OF episode of The Eden Podcast from March 16, 2022! The Tru316 Foundation (www.Tru316.com) is the home of The Eden Podcast with Bruce C. E. Fleming where we “true” the verse of Genesis 3:16. The Tru316 Message is that “God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.” Once Genesis 3:16 is made clear the other passages on women and men become clear too. You are encouraged to access the episodes of Seasons 1-11 of The Eden Podcast for teaching on the seven key passages on women and men. Are you a reader? We invite you to get from Amazon the four books by Bruce C. E. Fleming in The Eden Book Series (Tru316.com/trubooks). Would you like to support the work of the Tru316 Foundation? You can become a Tru Partner here: www.Tru316.com/partner

Our Guest today is a phenomenal woman ready to change the trajectory that the evangelical churches teach about sex in marriage. This conversation is very interesting. To connect with Sheila: https://baremarriage.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@SheilaWrayGregoire/videos To purchase G'Ades Books: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Mrs+Gloria+Ade-Gold+Lawrence&i=stripbooks&crid=U0O7Q3CTO4PQ&refresh=1&sprefix=mrs+gloria+ade-gold+lawrence%2Cstripbooks%2C283&ref=glow_cls

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide.  There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.Our Sponsor:The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.  To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Jay Stringer:Check out Jay's book UnwantedFind Jay on InstagramLearn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment ConferenceLinks We Mentioned:Jay's first podcast with us on his book UnwantedOur book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual painOur books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexOur podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talkThe podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermonsThe Orgasm CourseThe Marriage Night at Lakepointe Church Howerton was referring to The study on the effects of orgasm the first time you have sexJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.Our Sponsor:The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.  View a sample of the Bible here!To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Links We Mentioned:Susannah Griffith's book Forgiveness After TraumaFind Susannah at her websiteFuture Speaking Events:Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.More information here. Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations.  In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Links We Mentioned:Natalie Hoffman's book All the Scary Little GodsNatalie's website Flying Free, and her Flying Free podcastThe first podcast Natalie did with me–how Christian books made me stay in an abusive marriageNatalie joined us on our podcast about the book Lies Women BelieveRichard Schwartz' book No Bad PartsJenna Riemersma's book on IFS Altogether YouFuture Speaking Events:Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.More information here. Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast:The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's statementOur podcast with Nancy Pearcey where we explain how  complementarians act as egalitariansThe interview with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Robert Wolgemuth The Great Sex Rescue, with our findings about decision-makingRebecca Groothuis' article about equalityJonathan Leeman's article (and video) about a husband's authorityResources about the Biblical Argument for Equality:Marg Mowczko's site--amazing short articles on virtually every bible passage about gender. Our podcast with Philip Payne, and his book The Bible vs. Biblical WomanhoodTerran Williams' book How God Sees WomenTerran Williams' series refuting Mike Winger's videosJulie Zine Coleman's book On Purpose Future Speaking Events:Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch at our store, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast:The Great Sex Rescue!  Learn more, or get it right from Amazon.Our Healthy Sexuality Rubric where we scored the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue.Our podcast where we discussed how the authors we critiqued had responded to The Great Sex Rescue.The article on Julie Roys' site about Focus on the Family deleting comments on the Reel where Juli Slattery used our talking points. Juli Slattery's reel on Focus on the Family's Instagram pageThe Bodies Behind the Bus podcast where Joy tells her story about The Great Sex Rescue (we're near the end) (and here's part 2!)Future Speaking Events:Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! We'll have blackout poetry crafts and other paper crafts to do with toxic books (bring them along!), a silent auction, a Q&A, and more. March 23, 2:30 - 5:00 pm. All welcome.Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Did you know that the Bible talks about your wife's "big O"? It does! What does a Christian man look like in the bedroom? In this week's message, pastor Jim Ramos and the guys from The MAG talk about what the Bible has to say about your O, hers, and how to have the bedroom intimacy that every man dreams of. Here is the link to the book referenced frequently during the message: The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregory -> http://tinyurl.com/sexrescue115 This message is from The MAG, The McMinville Area Gathering for men, which meets weekly most Wednesday nights at Grange Hall in McMinnville, Oregon. You can come out to see Jim Ramos in person checking his  at , or  at your next event. (Note: Jim's speaking calendar is filling up fast due to the Sept 3 release of his new book, "Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God" with David C Cook publishing. If you'd like to bring him to your church to speak or run a workshop for you men, reach out soon!) [Honor God through your fitness. Use code 'ARENA30' at  for 6 weeks free access to the MTNTOUGH fitness app.]

Marriage is an amazing gift. And yet, it can reveal a lot of our weaknesses, vulnerabilities and our growth edges. Today we talk with Chris Bruno about the most common struggles for marriages today and how we can fulfill our greatest desires for deep connection, to be known, and to truly know one another within our marriages.   Chris Bruno is a licensed professional counselor and the founder and CEO of ReStory Counseling and Restoration Project. He, along with Tracy Johnson, are the marriage experts of Thrive Marriage Lab, ReStory Marriage Intensives, and co-hosts of the Thrive Marriage Podcast. He is a colleague of authors, speakers, and counselors like Dr. Dan Allender of The Allender Center, Dr. Curt Thompson of The Anatomy of the Soul, Sheila Wray Gregoire of The Great Sex Rescue, and Milan and Kay Yerkovitch of How We Love. His goal is to help couples stay married and love being married. His team has helped hundreds of couples explore their story, and come to understand and care for one another more deeply.   To connect with Chris Bruno, go to: Website - https://www.restory.life/ Facebook - www.facebook.com/ReStory.Life Instagram - @storyrestored   To find Thrive Marriage Lab go to: Website - https://www.restory.life/thrive Instagram - @ThriveMarriageLab Youtube - @ThriveMarriageLab   FREE 12 Months of Dates - How date nights can lead to connection.  Subscribe here - www.restory.life/thrive-dates   How healthy is your marriage?  Take our FREE marriage assessment here: https://www.restory.life/marriage-assessment   =======================   We LOVE that you've decided to join us this week for the Living Wholehearted Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation, tips, and resources to help you transform every relationship that matters most to you. If you think this will help someone you know, make sure you send it their way or share on socials. Tag us @living_wholehearted and @terramattson! Don't forget to FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss an episode and help spread the word by leaving us some stars on a review. Thanks for partnering with us to help more leaders, just like you, who want to live and lead with integrity at home, work and in the community.  Go to livingwholehearted.com and sign up to receive our free leadership tips and updates delivered to you in our monthly newsletter.    Don't forget our unique Wholehearted Leadership Cohort opportunities. Applications are open for the next one-year and two-year cohorts. In fact, the Cohort experience might be the very thing that helps you see long-term shifts in your leadership at work and at home. We'd love to come alongside you! Learn more and apply today at www.livingwholehearted.com/cohort.   And, if you're a girl mom, check out mycourageousgirls.com.     Until next time, be the leader you would follow!   Grateful for you, Jeff & Terra   To connect with Jeff & Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:   INSTAGRAM @TerraMattson @Living_Wholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   FACEBOOK @WeAreLivingWholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   WEBSITES LivingWholehearted.com TerraMattson.com  MyCourageousGirls.com   RESOURCES Shrinking the Integrity Gap        https://davidccook.org/shrinking-integrity-gap-book/       https://www.livingwholehearted.com/store/books Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course        https://www.livingwholehearted.com/e-courses Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace       https://www.livingwholehearted.com/store/books Dear Mattsons        https://www.christianparenting.org/dearmattsons/ Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters        http://cpguides.org   =======================   The Living Wholehearted Podcast is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org  

Today it gets a little personalHopefully, without being cringy, we will share how we took our physical and sexual intimacy level to the next level. We talk about what kills sexual intimacy and what you need to know to build sexual intimacy.We will define intimacy. We will talk about what builds intimacy and what destroys intimacy.Find out why Stephanie says, "If I can't trust you bringing home the milk, I don't trust you with my private parts!"Tips we give for books to read:Great Sex Rescue by GregoireTotal Intimacy by Doug RosenauYouTube Channel- Andrew and Amanda ScottMaterials by the Penners

This is the bonus episode we referenced several times in the Book Pod. On the day of recording, the four of us did a take on this book, but it didn't sit right with us, so John-Michael and I did a re-record back here in Louisville. This book is explicit, and we needed a separate podcast to walk through this subject properly. TLDR: we do not recommend this book at all. Listen to the pod to find out why. Here is a doc of all the books we discussed in the OG pod: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1a6xJBNwlero4ppsrKPwse6WQJWyNiwwrmI-o2c-NXcI/edit?usp=sharing John-Michael is on Instagram @aboutjem I am always @itsthevalk Love y'all. Jake

Guest Bios Show Transcript https://youtu.be/hteO426dZ6cMen need sex. And it's their wives' job to give it to them—unconditionally, whenever they want it, or these husbands will come under Satanic attack. Stunningly, that's the message contained in many Christian marriage books. Yet, research shows that instead of increasing intimacy in marriages, messages like these are promoting abuse. In this edition of The Roys Report, featuring a talk from our recent Restore Conference, author Sheila Wray Gregoire provides eye-opening insights based on her and her team's extensive research on evangelicalism and sex. Out of a desire for evangelicals' conversations about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ, Sheila and her team have analyzed many popular Christian books on sex. Many teach that men are incapable of not objectifying women. And instead of training men to control their urges, these books teach that women must save these men. If a husband struggles with porn, for example, it's his wife's job to give him more sex so he can go cold turkey. If a husband is abusive to his wife, it's his wife's job to pray the abuse away. And if you're a single woman, it's your job to dress in such a way that your body never “intoxicates” a man.With messages like these, is it any wonder that abuse victims often feel like it's their fault if someone hurts them? Is it any wonder that pastors like John MacArthur can convince wives that it's her duty to stay with a man who abuses her and their children? As Sheila explains, the patterns of abuse we're seeing in the church today are a symptom of these toxic evangelical teachings. And to solve the problem of abuse, we need to analyze and challenge these unbiblical teachings. Guests Sheila Wray Gregoire Sheila Wray Gregoire is an author, podcaster, and researcher into evangelicalism and sex. Her goal through Bare Marriage, a popular podcast and ministry, is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. Learn more at BareMarriage.com. Show Transcript SPEAKERSJulie Roys, SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE Julie Roys  00:05Men need sex and it’s their wives job to give it to them unconditionally whenever they want it, or these husbands will come under satanic attack. Stunningly, that’s the message contained in many Christian marriage books. Yet research shows that instead of increasing intimacy and marriages, messages like these are promoting abuse. Welcome to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I’m Julie Roys, and what you’re about to hear is an eye-opening talk by Sheila Ray Gregoire at our latest RESTORE conference. Sheila is an author and podcaster who’s done extensive research on evangelicalism and sex. And what she’s discovered is that many evangelical books teach an unbiblical message that men are incapable of not objectifying women. And instead of training men to control their urges, these books teach that women must save these men. If a husband struggles with porn, for example, it’s his wife’s job to give him more sex so he can go cold turkey. If a husband is abusive to his wife, it’s his wife’s job to pray the abuse away. And if you’re a single woman, it’s your job to dress in such a way that your body never intoxicates a man with messages like these. Is it any wonder that abuse victims often feel like it’s their fault if someone hurts them? Is it any wonder that pastors like John MacArthur can convince wives that it’s their duty to stay with a man that abuses them and their children? As Sheila explains in this important talk, the abuse that’s rampant in the church is just a symptom of this toxic teaching so prevalent in evangelicalism. And unless we address this false teaching, we’ll never solve the problem of abuse. So, I’m very excited to share Sheila’s eye-opening talk with you.   Julie Roys  01:57 But first, I want to thank the sponsors of this podcast, Judson University, and Marquardt of Barrington. If you’re looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience. Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities, and strong financial aid. Plus, you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go toJUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you’re looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity, and transparency. That’s because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt, are men of integrity. To check them out. Just go to BUYACAR123.COM.   Julie Roys  03:02 Well, again, you’re about to hear a talk by Sheila Gregoire on how evangelical teachings on sex promote abuse. Sheila is the founder of BAREMARRIAGE.COM. She’s also the author of several popular books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and She Deserves Better. Sheila’s goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence based and rooted in Christ. And so, I’m so excited to share this message that Sheila gave at the RESTORE conference.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  03:32 It was a Friday afternoon in January of 2019, and I was sitting on my yellow chair in my living room trying to figure out how to procrastinate. I had a migraine, and I didn’t want to work, and so I was on Twitter. And I was reading a conversation between some women arguing whether or not they needed love or respect. And I thought, well, I’m a woman and I need respect. And so, I started chiming in and we were getting all spicy. And then I thought, I have that book. And I had never read it. So, Love and Respect, written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, who got his PhD from somewhere, I don’t know. Anyway, it’s based on the idea that women need love. and men need respect. Oh, actually, no, it’s not. The subtitle is, the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. So, she has desires, and he has desperate needs. But I realized I have that book and I’ve never read it. And so, I thought this is a great way to procrastinate. So, I went, and I got it, and I opened to the sex chapter because I’m kind of the sex lady and that’s what I do. It was only about 12 pages long. And that was when the nuclear bomb went off in my living room. Because I read to my horror, if your husband is typical, he has a need you don’t have, and that need is for physical release. So, if he doesn’t get physical release, he will come under satanic attack. And through that chapter, he keeps referring to sex as a man’s physical release. There was not a single word about intimacy. There was not a single word about women feeling pleasure, too.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  04:07 So, I called my team, and we freaked out a bit. And we decided to write a post on our blog about the way that the book handled sex. And that post got so many eyeballs that we spent a whole week on love and respect. And over that week, we had email upon email, and comment upon comment about how that book had enabled abuse in their marriage. Working with me, was a young woman in her late 20s at the time, who has a master’s in epidemiology and is the statistician, but she was home with her baby. And so, she was just working remotely part time for me. And she said, you know what we should do Sheila? we should create a mixed-methods, qualitative analysis of the comments, and we should send it into Focus on the Family, who publishes the book, because maybe they don’t know. Maybe they don’t realize how harmful this is. And so, over the next few weeks, Joanna proceeded to do that. And we sent it to Focus. I knew Jim Daly; I had been on Focus on the Family several times. And we sent a nice letter about how harmful the book had been. And we never heard back. And so, Joanne said to me, “You know what I should do? I should go back and get my PhD so that I could do a study of how messages in the evangelical church are hurting women’s marital and sexual satisfaction. And I said, Joanna, I bet I could get a publisher to pay us to do it. And that is what we did.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  06:59 Until that day, I had never actually read another Christian book on sex and marriage. I mostly just wrote my own stuff. I was really scared of plagiarizing. But then we decided that we needed to open our eyes and see what was really going on. So, we surveyed 20,000 women for our book, The Great Sex Rescue. It’s the largest study of evangelical women’s marital and sexual satisfaction that’s ever been done. Did any of you take that study? Were any of you in mind, thank you. I know that was like half an hour of your life you can’t get back. I appreciate it very, very much. We’re doing a new survey that will be out in about two weeks. So, if you follow me, we will be putting out soon we will have a great need for people to take that one as well. But we surveyed 20,000 women measuring how various evangelical messages affected their marital and sexual satisfaction. And what we found was that there was four big messages in the church that really hurt women. And these messages are not biblical. They’re not from Jesus. They are what we have decided, as a church collectively are true. And we’ve done great harm with them.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  08:20 And so those messages are a woman is obligated to give her husband sex when he wants it. 39% of women that we surveyed entered marriage believing that. All men struggle with lust, it’s every man’s battle. A woman should have frequent sex with her husband to keep him from watching pornography. And boys will push your sexual boundaries and so girls need to be the gatekeeper. The sum total of those messages does great harm. These were all widely taught, widely believed and hugely destructive. We also did a survey of 3000 men a year later, and guess what? The same messages hurt men’s marriages too. These are universally bad. And yet, when we took a look at 13 of evangelicalism’s bestselling sex and marriage books, these are everywhere. There were only three books that we looked at, that actually scored well on our rubric, the vast majority of them of the books that we looked at scored in the harmful category, including Love and Respect, which scored zero out of 48, literally. Even Every Man’s Battle did better, it got nine. Last year, we did a survey as Julie was telling you of another 7000 evangelical women, this time looking at how messages that we give to teenage girls, end up hurting girls long term. And the same messages that we studied before? Yep, they do harm, but we added some new ones, like the modesty message. When we tell girls, you need to be careful what you wear so that you don’t cause one of your brothers to stumble. Well, that makes her feel like her body is a threat to her. Because by no fault of her own, he could look at her and have these bad thoughts. And then because he can’t control himself, he could end up hurting her. And so that message makes us feel like our bodies actually cause ourselves to be put into harm.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  10:42 Research shows that far too many of our common relationship teachings in evangelical culture are hurting us. And I have been trying to sound the alarm on this. And while those in this room are likely to hear it, the powers that be often don’t. This has become a grassroots movement, which I think tends to be the way that Jesus works. He doesn’t tend to talk to the churches, the big places, the big people in power. He sets up 12 disciples and all of the women that were traveling with him, and they go, and they set the world on fire. And that’s what we found in the reception to our books, which are actually selling quite well, is that people want to hear this, even if the powers that be won’t talk about it.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  11:38 We have painted men in the church as being created by God, to not be able to do anything but objectify women, which by extension, means that it is women’s responsibilities to save men. And then we’ve somehow managed to sell the message that this is the way that God intended it. So let me give you a few quotes. And I want to do a big trigger warning here, and I’m quite serious about this is that some of you, it might be good to step out of the room. All I’m going to be doing is reading you things from our bestsellers, but they’re not pretty. And so, if you feel like you need to step out of the room, now would be a good time. But let me tell you what Every Man’s Battle said. If you’re looking for the reason for sexual sin among men, we got there naturally, simply by being male. The same authors repeat, men just don’t naturally have that Christian view of sex. So, I guess women were created with more of the Holy Spirit than men, I don’t know. And how then, are men supposed to quit lusting and watching porn? Well, they have the solution. The book, the original edition of the book, told women when he stops cold turkey be like a merciful vial of methadone for him. It explains that well before when you were lusting, you may have been going to your wife for five bowls of sexual gratification a week. Now you’ll be going to her for 10. And she will be happy about this. I don’t know how you can write a book and know so many little about women, but nevertheless.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  13:37 So, think about that. We are the methadone for our husband’s sex addictions. And what is it that methadone does? Yeah, methadone is basically something which numbs you so that you don’t go after the thing you really want. And that’s how they raised a whole generation of boys and men to think of girls. That book series has sold 4 million copies. Or how about this? This Gary Thomas and Deborah Phyllida echoed their sentiment in their 2021 book Married Sex, where they encouraged women to send nude photos to their husbands so that neurologically his attention will be focused on her and not other women or porn. And they didn’t really ever talk about the problems of revenge porn, and they minimized any concerns that she may have about cementing an objectified view of women in porn. Even if it’s not about sex, we get the message in our best sellers that we’re just supposed to pray the abuse away. Women you have so much power over your man. Don’t you understand that? So, in Stormy Omartian’s book, Power of a Praying Wife, she has this quote, which is echoed throughout the book. You can submit to God in prayer whatever controls your husband, and she lists a number of things, including alcoholism, and abusiveness, and pray for him to be released from it. That book sold 10 million copies of women being told if he’s abusive, you can pray it away. You just need to pray more.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  15:27 I bet John MacArthur likes that one. I think the evangelical version of the gospel too often looks like this. Jesus saves women, so the women can save men. And it’s even in the little things. Last year, the Gospel Coalition put out an Instagram reel, where Ligon Duncan claimed that wives can’t expect their husbands to do risky things, unless their wives unconditionally respect their husbands first. And what are these risky things that a woman can’t expect her Christian husband to do? Pray, read the Bible, think about life from a Christian point of view. You cannot expect your husband to do these risky things that you by the way are already doing unless you first give him unconditional respect. This really quietly puts the wife in the leadership role, while having to pretend that it’s the husband who’s actually the one leading. Honestly, it’s like the bar is so low, it is in the basement, isn’t it? Over and over again, our evangelical teaching tells everybody that it is impossible to expect men to act honorably. Tim  LaHaye, in The Act of Marriage, told a story about Aunt Matilda, and he berates Aunt Matilda for telling her niece how terrible sex was just as her niece was getting married. But then he goes on to explain that on her wedding night, Aunt Matilda’s husband held her down kicking and screaming and raped her and continued to do this throughout the marriage. Then Tim LaHaye talks about Aunt Matilda, and her equally unhappy husband. He called the rapist equally unhappy as his rape victim. That book published by Zondervan has gone through four different editions, and nobody ever took out that anecdote. That sold two and a half million copies. His Needs/Her Needs, which I think has also sold two and a half million copies, has a line in there where a 32-year-old executive complains, I feel like I’m begging her or even raping her, but I can’t help it. I have to make love. And Willard Harley, the author uses that to explain that men just have a really high sex drive, and women need to understand that. And then, of course, there’s For Women Only. Shanti Feldon based her book supposedly on research. Which is why I think people have given these books more credence than they really need to have. I’m going to give you an example of her survey question, which has become fundamental in evangelicalism and for several different books. But Emerson Eggerichs actually based his book Love and Respect on the foundational survey question that Shanti used in her book For Women Only, which came out in the same year, 2004, as Love and Respect. So, Shanti asked, I think it was about 450 men, would you prefer to be alone and unloved or inadequate and disrespected? Okay? So, you could be alone and unloved or inadequate and disrespected. 72% of men said that they would prefer to be alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected. And so, she took this to say that men want respect more than they want love. And that is what Emerson Eggerichs used to base his ideas on for Love and Respect.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  15:39 They never asked women; think about that. A whole doctrine of how men need respect and women need love. They never asked women. When other people, other survey people asked women the same question, 68% of women chose alone and unloved as well. There is no gender difference. But beyond that, okay, I’m just gonna get a little survey geeky with you for a sec here, okay? Alone and unloved, inadequate, and disrespected. That’s what’s called a double-barreled question where you don’t know whether they’re responding to alone or unloved or inadequate and disrespected. When my son in law looked at that, he said, well, the one that I would hate to be the most is inadequate, because alone unloved and disrespected are all how other people are treating me, inadequate is how I feel about myself. So, I would choose alone and unloved because I don’t want to feel inadequate, because inadequate and disrespected are not synonyms. That is the state of research that evangelicalism based a foundational doctrine, love, and respect, that we hear everywhere. And church, we simply have to do better. That’s not okay.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  21:32 Now, there are many other things and for women only that Shanti Felden, that I find quite problematic. But one of the worst is this line, when she’s talking about the need that men have to feel unconditional respect, she says, If you are wondering if you’ve crossed the disrespect line, watch for anger. So if you’re wondering if you’ve disrespected him, watch if he gets angry. So, your husband’s anger is a sign that you have done something wrong, rather than a red flag of a behavior problem or abuse. And again, her book series has also sold 2 million copies. The worst thing though, is that these messages are not just being given to adults, they’re also being given to children. And for our book, She Deserves Better, where we looked at the messages that were given to evangelical teen girls, we found horrific things that were said to girls as young as eight. And I would like to show you something from the Secret Keeper Girl curriculum by Dannah Gresh. Secret Keeper Girl became an event that was seen by about a million little girls and their moms around North America. It’s now called True Girl. So, they’ve rebranded but a lot of the messages are still the same. And in that curriculum, she encouraged girls to take the Raise and Praise test, okay. So, here’s what you do, you put your arms up in the air. And if any belly shows, that’s bad. And the reason is because bellies are intoxicating. Later in this curriculum, she has a conversation that mothers are supposed to have with their daughters to explain what this means. And you’re supposed to talk to your daughter and explain that to be intoxicated means like being under anesthetic or being drunk when you’re out of control. And God created our bodies to intoxicate men. But you are only supposed to intoxicate one man, your future husband, and so you need to make sure that you’re not intoxicating to anyone else. She told eight-year-old girls, that their bellies have the power to make adult men get out of control. And we did nothing about it. We took our little girls to these events, and they internalized this message. I could go on and on.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  24:40 Whether it’s sheet music by Kevin Lehman, telling women that it’s a good thing to have sex when you feel forced and want to shove him off of you. Or explaining that your period is a very difficult time for your husband. I’m not kidding. And so, it’s important to give him sexual favors during your period or when you’re postpartum so that he’s not tempted to watch porn. I can tell you about Every Man’s Battle, telling women that if your husband demands or coerces sex more than once a day, that’s a bad thing. So, there’s a quote, I guess that’s acceptable of coercion. I don’t know. The abusive messages and our evangelical resources are horrifying, and honestly, it seems endless.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  25:33 But the sum total of these teachings is that men are entitled to women’s bodies. Men deserve unconditional deference free from being challenged for any bad behavior. And men cannot be expected to act honorably, or even safely. So, when men do harm, it’s likely because some woman somewhere hasn’t done her job. It’s not hard to imagine how disastrous this can be. In a survey done by the Institute for Family Studies, about 27% of highly religious men who believe in complementarianism, or believe in male headship, claim that they have been violent with their current partner. Marital rape is more difficult to measure because it depends on the definition of marital rape. But from what we’ve seen in the literature, and in our own results, it looks like a rate of about 10% with a very narrow definition, to about 25% of evangelical marriages if you include things like obligation sex, which lead to trauma. So, this is what’s going on in the pews. One quarter of the women in our churches are currently victims of abuse. And a lot of that is caused by our messages which prop up and enable abuse.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  27:17 And it’s not only abuse. There’s also rates of sexual pain. This is one of our big research areas that we’re trying to dig down deep into. Because it’s been known for about 50 years in the literature that evangelical women suffer from sexual pain. Specifically, a sexual pain disorder called vaginismus, which is when the muscles of the vaginal wall contract and become really tight, so that penetration becomes really difficult, if not impossible. Even things like inserting tampons can become difficult or pelvic exams. And we’ve known evangelical women suffer from this at way higher rates than the general population. But what we haven’t known is why. And it was assumed that it’s just because well, they’re just ashamed of sex. That’s not actually what we found. We discovered two big things that are highly highly correlated with vaginismus. The first is the obligation sex message. So, when women enter marriage, believing in obligation sex, whether or not their husbands do, it's just what you have internalized, your chance of experiencing vaginismus increases to almost the same statistical effect as if you had been abused. Because our bodies interpret obligation sex as trauma. Because abuse says, you don’t matter, he gets to use you however you want. And so does obligation sex. The other big thing that’s correlated with it is the modesty message as a teenager. So, when a girl has internalized that she is at least partially responsible for keeping boys from sinning., she’s also far more likely to experience vaginismus. This is our problem. It’s not nice to talk about it, but this is our problem. We have an incidence rate of about 22.6% of evangelical women and in the broader population is closer to seven or eight. This is what we have done, and it’s largely because of what we have taught people.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  29:32 And that’s why I am so passionate about changing the way we talk about sex and marriage in the church. Because what we have done has had real world effects. It has caused abuse to rise. It has caused actual physical changes in our bodies. And there’s other research which has shown that it actually solidifies porn use and makes it much harder to stop. We need to talk about this in a different way. And what’s been so exciting to me as we have done our work is that people have told me again and again, that when they read our stuff, they start to recognize abuse in other places too. Like, once you start to see, oh, this isn’t okay, in one area, you see it everywhere. One woman told us that it’s like peeling an onion, you know, and you take off one layer. And then you see it again and again. Another woman said, you know, I read The Great Sex Rescue, and I recognized that there was some really abusive patterns in my marriage. And thank God, my husband saw it, too, and we’re on the road to recovery. But it wasn’t just that. I also in that same week, realized that my boss was sexually harassing me, and I stood up to him, and I reported him. And we left our church. Because when you see abuse in one area, you’re able to recognize it in others.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  31:19 This is gonna sound weird to say, I don’t actually care about sex that much. Like, I know, this is my whole life, and I know this is all I write about. I don’t actually care that much. You know what I care about? I care about people thriving. I care about emotional health and wholeness. I care about ending abuse. But there’s a lot of people that are doing that work of calling out abuse, and you know how hard it is to get people to listen to you. You know, it’s like banging your head on the wall, and they just don’t want to hear. And on the other side, there’s a lot of people addressing the theology of men and women in the church, and how harmful that theology has been to many women. And I can’t speak Greek, my husband reads the New Testament in Greek, but I don’t, you know, I can’t tackle it on that side. But you know, the one thing people like talking about? sex. Everybody wants to talk about sex. And so, this has been our way in. We’ve been able to open up that conversation about sex, so that people will listen. Even people who, maybe you’re normally in more fundamentalist spaces, because everybody wants good sex. And when you can tell them, hey, here’s the way forward, here’s what we need, here’s why women need to matter too. When they start to see it in that one area, then they’ll start to see it in others. And I think that’s where we can work together. You know, I know so many of you are recovering from church hurt, and you’re wondering where to go and how to move forward. And I’ve been there. But I believe that as we speak up about this stuff, we’re going to empower others, that they can speak up too, and we’re going to cause a grassroots movement.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  33:27 I spent a lot of years hitting my head against the wall, trying to convince Focus on the Family to change. It doesn’t work. Interestingly, they’re now using all of my talking points in their Instagram reels. They’re just not referencing me. It’s pretty funny. But so, you know, that’s good. You know what? I don’t care if you don’t reference me, as long as you’re actually starting to teach healthy stuff, do not trust Focus for healthy stuff. Okay? They might be saying a few good things. And I’m glad about that. But this is not an endorsement. But you know, things can change slowly from the grassroots. But we’re not necessarily going to get the big things to change. And it used to really frustrate me when I couldn’t get the big organizations to change, when I couldn’t get the megachurch pastors to listen to me, when I couldn’t get the big media organizations to listen to me. When nobody big would interview us about The Great Sex Rescue, even though we did the biggest study that’s ever been done. Even though we spoke at the American Physiotherapy convention because pelvic floor physiotherapists think we’re groundbreaking. And we can’t get  the big names in the church to listen. But maybe that’s because they’re not supposed to. Because Jesus works at the margins. And I think Jesus is working at the margins here. And I know so many of you are hurting and a lot of It is because of this crap that was in so many of the books that taught you that it’s your fault if someone hurts you, and that you’re just not praying enough. And don’t you know that Jesus put up with it? So, what are you to say that you shouldn’t have to put up with this? You should have the mind of Christ. And you’ve heard those messages. But let me tell you that Jesus wants to tell you that you matter, that you matter.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  35:33 One of my co-authors on The Great Sex Rescue said that we could sum up the whole book with just four words, women are people too. And we are. And men are people too too; we all matter. But when we live in a church culture, which is trying to be based on power instead of on love, and emotional wholeness, we’re going to end up with abuse. And we’re going to end up with hurt. And so, as we’re fighting abuse, my plea, if I can make a plea, is that we also fight that which underpins abuse. That we don’t just fight abuse, but we start calling out the teaching that has enabled it. Because when we call out the teaching, we make it far more likely that people will recognize abuse in other spaces, too.   SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE  36:35 One of the things that so disappointed me in the Mars Hill podcast series, I don’t know how many of you listen to that. Some of you, yeah, they just didn’t go far enough. They treated it like Mark was the problem. Mark was a symptom. All of the things that one episode they did about women, all of the things Mark preached about women, were in all of our best sellers. I could have pointed you to everything he said was in all of our bestsellers that are still our bestsellers. Mark is not the problem; Mark’s awful, but Mark is not the problem. The problem is that we have this whole culture of teaching that enables the Mark’s to get power. If we didn’t have this teaching underpinning it, if we didn’t have these ideas of power and kingdom, then there would not be a Mark Driscoll who would have that kind of power, there would not be a John MacArthur who told Eileen Gray she needed to go back to her abusive husband. And so, as we fight abuse, and I am so grateful to those of you who are out there in the trenches doing that, I pray that you will also join me in some of my mission too, in fighting the teaching that is given about marriage and sex that is underpinned abuse and enabled it to flourish. Because I think, until we can eradicate that teaching, we’re just going to be playing abuser whack-a-mole. Thank you.   Julie Roys  38:12 Wow, such an important message. And I’m so grateful for Sheila’s ministry, and the way that she’s addressing the root of the abuse problem in our churches. And I’m grateful for you too, who listen and support these podcasts and help us get these important messages out. As I’ve noted before, many ministries charge for conference talks, but because of your continued generosity, we’ve been able to make these messages available free of charge. And I’m just so grateful to the hundreds of you who donate to The Roys Report. As I’ve said before, we don’t have any large donors or advertisers, we simply have you the people who care about abuse victims and want to help. If you appreciate this ministry and want to support us, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. And in January, if you give a gift of $30 or more, we’ll send you a copy of The Great Dechurching. This is a great resource exploring what’s causing the current exodus out of the church, and what can be done to stop the bleed. So again, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. Also, just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcast, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you won’t miss any of these episodes. And while you’re at it, I’d really appreciate it if you’d help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you’re blessed and encouraged.   Read more

Links to things mentioned:Our marriage survey is still open! We're looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grimJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriageHelp us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERELaura Anderson's book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0ZhsFind Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/Our Merch: order before December 10 to use it as Christmas gifts! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/Our book She Deserves Better, outlining some of the trauma messages teen girls receive, and our book The Great Sex Rescue, outlining vaginismus as a potential trauma response

On this episode of Currently Reading, Kaytee and Meredith are discussing: Bookish Moments: the 2024 reading tracker and Christmas picture books Current Reads: all the great, interesting, and/or terrible stuff we've been reading lately Deep Dive: how the holidays affect our reading lives The Fountain: we visit our perfect fountain to make wishes about our reading lives Show notes are time-stamped below for your convenience. Read the transcript of the episode (this link only works on the main site) .  .  .  .  .  2:04 - Currently Reading Patreon 8:24 - Our Bookish Moments of the Week 9:19 - Mr. Willowby's Christmas Tree by Robert Barry 10:25 - The Poison Pen Bookstore 10:46 - The Secret of Helmersbruk Manor by Eva Frantz (Blackwell's link) 11:06 - The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson  11:11 - The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by L. Frank Baum 12:44 - Current Reads 12:59 - Murder in the Family by Cara Hunter 13:19 - Close to Home by Cara Hunter (Meredith, Blackwell's link) 17:55 - The Book of Cold Cases by Simone St. James (Kaytee) 18:04 - CR Season 5: Episode 44 21:53 - Our Hideous Progeny by C.E. McGill (Meredith) 24:15 - The Novel Neighbor 25:56 - The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry 26:43 - The Novel Neighbor on Instagram 27:03 - The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire 29:12 - Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski 30:24 - Unhinged by Vera Valentine  31:06 - The Year of the Locust by Terry Hayes (Meredith) 31:16 - I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes 33:29 - Blackwell's UK 33:48 - booktalketc on Instagram 41:26 - Bookshops and Bonedust by Travis Baldree 42:14 - The Reformatory by Tananarive Due (Kaytee) 43:27 - Libro.fm 54:14 - The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead 48:25 - Deep Dive: How Holidays Can Change Our Reading Habits 50:33 - The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate Dicamillo 51:08 - The Novel Neighbor 55:09 - The Afterlife of Holly Chase by Cynthia Hand 55:14 - Marley by Jon Clinch 55:54 - The Christmas Murder Game by Alexandra Benedict 56:54 - The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep by H.G. Parry 57:34 - Mrs. Miracle by Debbie Macomber 58:09 - Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan 59:20 - Meet Us At The Fountain 59:42 - My wish is that you read I Am Pilgrim (Meredith) 59:48 - I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes 1:01:54 - I wish that Google Sheets would allow “select multiple” in drop downs (Kaytee) Support Us: Become a Bookish Friend | Grab Some Merch Shop Bookshop dot org | Shop Amazon Bookish Friends Receive: The Indie Press List with a curated list of five books hand sold by the indie of the month. December's IPL will be a yearly recap from us, so we can give our beloved Indies a break for the holidays! Trope Thursday with Kaytee and Bunmi - a behind the scenes peek into the publishing industry All Things Murderful with Meredith and Elizabeth - special content for the scary-lovers, brought to you with the special insights of an independent bookseller The Bookish Friends Facebook Group - where you can build community with bookish friends from around the globe as well as our hosts Connect With Us: The Show: Instagram | Website | Email | Threads The Hosts and Regulars: Meredith | Kaytee | Mary | Roxanna Affiliate Disclosure: All affiliate links go to Bookshop unless otherwise noted. Shopping here helps keep the lights on and benefits indie bookstores. Thanks for your support!

How can mothers raise their daughters with healthy messages about sex, self, and speaking up? What are some of the toxic teachings that need to be acknowledged and challenged? Barb speaks with Sheila Gregoire, author of the popular book, The Great Sex Rescue, about Sheila's book for mothers of daughters titled, She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self and Speaking Up. During their conversation, Sheila reveals data from her survey of more than 7,000 women about how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and their relationships today.     RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE tolovehonorandvacuum.com She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self and Speaking Up Connect with Sheila on Twitter! Connect with Sheila on IG! Connect with Sheila on Facebook!     ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST Sheila Wray Gregoire is an author, podcaster, and researcher into evangelicalism and sex. The founder of BareMarriage.com, together with her team she has surveyed over 32,000 people for her books The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Her goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ. A graduate of Queen's University, she's married to her husband Keith, a pediatrician, who writes and speaks with her.    

Sheila Gregoire and Keith Gregoire are the co-authors of The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers. On this episode of The Eden Podcast we hear his three stories: His Faith Story, his Ministry Story and his Tru316 Story! Keith Gregoire, MD, married and father of two adult daughters, is a pediatrician who knows how healthy marriages contribute to children's well-being. He is passionate about building great marriages and about equipping couples to parent well. He and his wife Sheila have spoken at scores of marriage conferences, headlined their own signature marriage event all over the United States and most of all do the Bare Marriage Podcast. He is also an avid birdwatcher who loves traveling with Sheila in the RV to chase after hawks.Dr. Keith Ronald Gregoire, Consulting Pediatrician Belleville, Ontario, a longtime Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada.Keith's Instagram handle: @drbirdnerdThe Bare Marriage blog: https://baremarriage.com/Would you like to go deeper studying the Tru316 Message? ENROLL NOW to be part of the next Tru School two-week cohort, The Eden Workshop on Genesis 2-3. Here's that link: www.Tru316.com/workshopThe Tru316 Foundation(www.Tru316.com) is the home of The Eden Podcast with Bruce C. E. Fleming where we “true” the verse of Genesis 3:16. The Tru316 Message is that “God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.” Once Genesis 3:16 is made clear the other passages on women and men become clear too.Would you like to support the work of the Tru316 Foundation? You can become a Tru Partner HERE: www.Tru316.com/partnerFor just $3.16/month or more our Tru Partners are spreading the Word that God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way. Click www.Tru316.com/partner  

Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work and research, while getting access to our Facebook group, unfiltered podcast, merch discounts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriageSign up for our email list to hear about when our next study is out! http://eepurl.com/z0VFnThe study that people say claim 75% of women divorce for lack of commitment (it doesn't really say that): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/The study on how men are six times more likely to leave when one spouse is diagnosed with a life-altering disease: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes in the Sink: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288 Plus Matthew Fray's book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: https://amzn.to/45PSM6wCaylee Cresta's Instagram channel about mental load and taking out the trash: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrQx8-sMKL9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==Check out our Boost Your Libido Course https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/ and our Orgasm course: https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/Check out our books The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/Check out The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/The study that found that women do more housework the more they out-earn their husbands: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3028208/

What happens when all those Purity Culture kids from the 90s and early 2000s grow up and get married? Well one thing we discovered is a bunch of books were published to “help” us understand sex and marriage. Turns out, some of them were … not so helpful. Meg and Rebekah are here to discuss. Not a Super Star yet? Today is a great day to become one! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: *OneSkin: Get 15% off with the code SORTA at oneskin.co SHOW NOTES: Rebekah's AotW: Latuza Pajama Pants Meg's AotW: Sam and Colby: Surviving a week at the Real Conjuring House The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire Sheila Gregoire on Instagram Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Books Studied for The Great Sex Rescue (listed in order of best to worst): Helpful Books: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M Gottman (tie - scored near perfect)- https://amzn.to/3QvFtE6 The Gift of Sex by Clifford & Joyce Penner (tie - scored near perfect) - https://amzn.to/3FRLwgd Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend (tie) - https://amzn.to/3QwSHQJ Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (tie) - https://amzn.to/3QwSHQJ Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus - https://amzn.to/462KSHn Neutral Books: The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy & Kathy Keller - https://amzn.to/3tPTALB Intended for Pleasure by Ed & Gaye Wheat - https://amzn.to/3Shk3Mk Harmful Books: Sheet Music by Kevin Leman - https://amzn.to/3SdKCBM The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye - https://amzn.to/3tUnsGp His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F Harley Jr - https://amzn.to/4762DWV The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian - https://amzn.to/49bQDoy For Women Only by Shaunti Feldahn - https://amzn.to/3Q9xLOx Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker - https://amzn.to/3Q9xLOx Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs - https://amzn.to/3tOaH0b MORE EPISODES FROM SORTA AWESOME: Ep. 193: Stressed out, burned out and ready to recover Ep. 401: Midlife with Mindy & Meg: The ups and downs of sex Ep. 318: 5 books every woman should read Ep. 463: These discoveries will upgrade your life! You can find Meg on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram! Find Rebekah on her blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Visit sortaawesomeshow.com for show notes on this and every episode. And don't forget to find us in the Sorta Awesome Hangout on Facebook or @sortaawesomeshow on Instagram, and @sortaawesomepod on Twitter! This post may contain affiliate links, which means we receive a tiny commission from the seller at no additional cost to you, if you purchase from them. We only share products and services we have used, tested, and love ourselves! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com Today, we are continuing our conversation around the church's response to betrayal trauma, sex addiction, and sexual issues in marriage. Last episode we shared stories of churches that have responded well and churches that responded poorly. We finish this topic by brainstorming solutions for the leadership of churches to consider in this vulnerable and tender area of sex and betrayal. We Discuss: What would you tell Pastors about the consequence problematic porn viewing has on the husband? What would you tell Pastors about couples who come to them with sexual issues in their marriage? What hope can we leave? Resources Brain, Heart, World is a Docuseries about the harmful effects of pornography Fight the New Drug is a non-profit, non-religious, non-political entity that stands against the harms of porn. Heart of Man is a movie that Pam mentioned regarding father wounds. Here is a link to watch it on Amazon for 1.99. Here is a journal article on the topic mentioned by Lyschel, Compulsive Internet Pornography Use and Mental Health. The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It. APSATS (association of partners of sex addicts trauma specialists) have a special training for religious leaders, BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader). Find out more about it here. The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire For Christian Wives podcast – a tasteful round table discussion about sexual experience and sexuality. Disclaimer: the audience is intended to be the general population of Christian wives (not necessarily betrayed partners), trauma informed. Help Us Help Others

Leslie's special guest on this episode is Sheila Gregoire, author of "She Deserves Better" and "The Great Sex Rescue." Together Sheila and Leslie delve into debunking harmful stereotypes and fostering meaningful connections with your daughters. Segment 1: Harmful Beliefs About Girls and Their Consequences: Sheila discusses (and debunks) the damaging belief that girls talk excessively and its adverse effects on their lives. Explore the potential consequences of buying into this stereotype, including the risk of marrying an abuser. Segment 2: Nurturing Healthy Communication with Daughters: Sheila underscores the significance of parents actively listening to their daughters and allowing them to have a voice. Encourage ongoing and open dialogues, with an emphasis that parents need not be perfect in these conversations. Parents are encouraged to teach their children the art of respectful disagreement and independent thinking. Segment 3: Impact of Toxic Relationships on Parenting: How toxic relationships, particularly abusive marriages, affect parenting. Sheila emphasizes the importance of recognizing and breaking free from authoritarian and harmful patterns in one's life. Parents are urged to treat their sons and daughters equitably, imparting values of mutual respect and shared responsibilities. Delve into setting boundaries and recognizing red flags in relationships. Segment 4: Parenting Daughters in Healthy Relationships and Non-Negotiables: Sheila offers valuable advice on parenting daughters and identifies non-negotiables. Emphasize that daughters should not be instrumentalized to make parents look good but should be recognized as unique individuals. Encourage parents to provide guidance, maintain open conversations, and embrace imperfections. Resources: Register for Leslie's free workshop on October 5th, 2023: "If He Doesn't Hit You Is It Still Abuse?" www.leslievernick.com/freetraining Leslie's website: www.leslievernick.com Sheila Gregoire's website: www.sheilawraygregoire.com  Sheila's podcast: Bare Marriage (formerly "To Love, Honor and Vacuum"):

Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon and support our research, plus hear me working through future posts and wondering what I should do next! https://patreon.com/baremarriageOur summary of all the issues in this podcast, plus a downloadable one sheet! https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/review-of-the-problems-with-for-women-only-by-shaunti-feldhahn-with-download/Our post that does a deep dive in the problematic survey questions that Shaunti Feldhahn asks:https://baremarriage.com/2021/01/fixed-it-for-you-we-fix-a-survey-question-so-it-doesnt-enable-date-rape/Find Meghan Tschanz's podcast series on For Women Only: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bonus-episode-for-women-only-part-1/id1438368947?i=1000625676862https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-2/id1438368947?i=1000626549865https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-3/id1438368947?i=1000627185380https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-4/id1438368947?i=1000628046603Follow Meghan on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/meghantschanz/Devi Abraham's podcast Where Do We Go From Here, including my latest episode with her!https://wheredowegopod.com/https://open.spotify.com/episode/18eiTmiHvMimq3Oog80lq1Follow Devi on Instagram!  https://www.instagram.com/devi_writes/, and the Where Do We Go From Here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wheredowegopod/We take apart the “love and respect survey question at the end of this podcast: https://baremarriage.com/2020/12/unconditional-respect-in-marriage-is-wrong-podcast/Our book The Great Sex Rescue! It's on MAJOR SALE in paperback on Amazon right now! https://amzn.to/3LT6wXlOur podcast with Meghan Tschanz about her book Woman Rising https://baremarriage.com/2021/05/beliefs-affect-sex-trafficking/

Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon and support our research for as little as $5 a month! https://patreon.com/baremarriageOur op ed with Baptist News that goes over the points in this podcast: https://baptistnews.com/article/do-complementarian-men-do-better-a-response-to-nancy-pearcey/Our initial article responding to Josh Howerton's claim that conservative evangelicals have the best sex and marriages https://baptistnews.com/article/do-conservative-evangelicals-enjoy-better-sex-and-marriage-a-response-to-josh-howerton/ Our podcast going over these same points (for those who would rather listen!):https://baremarriage.com/2022/04/podcast-do-christians-have-better-sex-lives-a-response-to-josh-howerton/Leonardo Cruz' critique of how Nancy Pearcey handled history scholars https://leo-cruz.medium.com/nancy-pearcey-pt1-44f98c2a3602Our book The Great Sex Rescue, based on our survey of 20,000 women https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/The IFS report that showed that conservative highly religious men were far more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence (p. 36):https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/worldfamilymap-2019-051819.pdf The book The Scandal of the Evangelical Mindhttps://amzn.to/3r7BIe9Check out our Biblical Manhood merch!https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

The evangelical message for girls was all about virginity, naivete, and silence, and millenial women are paying the price for it. "She Deserves Better" gets into what went wrong but also gives us a playbook for how to do better.  We talk about: the impact of modesty teaching what happens when girls are told they talk too much the importance of sex ed Full show notes here Partner with us to hear Jess and Devi's trip to a sex shop in Melbourne. We read out product descriptions and give our honest opinion about a (surprising) number of sea creature-like devices. Get it for $3/month (USD). Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. Connect with Sheila on Instagram. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Working alongside her husband, Connor, she develops websites focusing on building Jesus-centered marriages and families. Connect with Rebecca on Instagram.

Make a one-time or recurring donation on our ⁠⁠⁠Donor Box profile here⁠⁠⁠. Join us in the mission of introducing Reformed Theology across the world! Interested in further study of the Bible? Join us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Logos Bible Software⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Are you interested in a rigorous and Reformed seminary education? Call Westminster Seminary California at 888-480-8474 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.wscal.edu⁠⁠⁠⁠! Please help support the show on our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon Page⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!   WELCOME TO BOOK CLUB! Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com, a sought-after speaker, and an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Joanna Sawatsky is an epidemiologist with a research focus on the intersection of religiosity and women's health issues. As Research Coordinator at Bare Marriage she oversees health promotion efforts by managing survey development, data collection, statistical analysis, and knowledge translation. We want to thank ⁠⁠Baker Books for their help in setting up this interview and providing us with the necessary materials for this interview   Purchase the book(s) here: She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Self, Sex, and Speaking Up   Have Feedback or Questions? Email us at: guiltgracepod@gmail.com Find us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@guiltgracepod⁠⁠ Follow us on Twitter: ⁠⁠@guiltgracepod⁠⁠ Find us on YouTube: ⁠⁠Guilt Grace Gratitude Podcast⁠⁠ Please rate and subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you use! Looking for a Reformed Church? ⁠⁠North American Presbyterian & Reformed Churches --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gggpodcast/support

“Men lead. Women follow. The Bible tells us so.” But does it? Could the idea of complementarianism (another word for patriarchy) come from poor translations or twisting of scripture? Did Jesus value and elevate women, or did He treat them as “less than?”   As an added bonus, Sonya Brunner stuck around and tackled this topic with us – and let's say she had some questions…!  For more on this subject we suggest The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr, On Purpose by Julie Zine Coleman, the work of Marg Mowczko, and Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of The Great Sex Rescue. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-3/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-3/support

What are the messages the church sends to girls and women about modesty, sex, emotions, and self, producing as they grow up? Blake and Erin talk with Sheila Gregoire about her book: She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, And Speaking Up. This discussion unpacks the damage being done and how we combat it to raise women and girls and our churches to love Jesus without the toxic culture that is breaking them down.      Bio   Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com, and a sought-after speaker, podcast host, and author. Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. She is an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, And Speaking Up.     Disclaimer   The opinions expressed in CBE's Mutuality Matters' podcast are those of its hosts or guests do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of CBE International or its members or chapters worldwide. The designations employed in this podcast and the presentation of content therein do not imply the expression of any opinion whatsoever on the part of CBE concerning the legal status of any country, area or territory or of its authorities, or concerning the delimitation of its frontiers.        Other Reading      The Good News About Sex After Marriage: You Can Still Say “No”  What I Wish the Church Had Told My Husband and Me About Sex and Consent  We Need to Talk to Our Kids About Sexism at School: 4 Talking Points for Parents 

Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up.They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries.Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband.REGISTER FOR RETREATCONUncertain is a podcast of Tears of Eden, a community and resource for those in the aftermath of Spiritual Abuse. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to like, subscribe, or leave a review on your favorite podcasting listening apparatus. You can support the podcast by going to TearsofEden.org/supportTo get in touch with us please email tearsofeden.org@gmail.comFollow on Instagram @uncertainpodcastLinks for Survivors Discuss podcast: Website: https://survivorsdiscuss.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SurvivorsDiscuss/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivorsdiscuss/Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3qTwCpqu8PBiXvGtJVS8SF?si=b2b62039df4a4d3dAmazon/Alexa: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/d0479463-01ca-4580-af9c-e06eea1eed33/survivors-discussAudible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Survivors-Discuss-Podcast/B0C9TL21ZL?action_code=ASSGB149080119000H&share_location=pdp

Every time I talk about sex on the interwebs I get comments that say "YES, and you would love the great sex rescue" And they are RIGHT! You can imagine my excitement when I got the opportunity to interview the author of this best-selling (life-changing) book!  In this episode we bust lies many people have believed about what sex is and what it isn't. How it's a gift but not an obligation. It is sacred but it also needs to be talked about with your spouse. Also how Christians are supposed to go from "don't think about it" to "enjoy it" as soon as they walk down the aisle??? All of this and more is what we unpack on this episode! "The Great Sex Rescue" on Amazon "She Deserves Better" on Amazon Shelia on Instagram Info on Katie's mentoring Follow Katie on Instagram and TikTok Get your "I don't date dirtbags" tote Join the Truth for your Twenties Facebook group

Links to things mentioned:Sign up for our FREE webinar on June 21!https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_odcOvC0uTzugaA7JvnUe1wOur book The Great Sex Rescue!Join our Patreon and support our work for as little as $5 a month. Plus gain access to our exclusive Facebook group, exclusive merch, and more!Our research methods for The Great Sex Rescue, with FAQs, and a Twitter thread analying our methods by someone we don't even know!Article from The Journal for Sex Research on the motivations for sex and the effects of obligation sexArticle on the emotional work done by women during sex--The Other Third Shift? Women's Emotion Work in their Sexual Relationships

This week on the Exodus Cry podcast, we sit down with Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of The Great Sex Rescue, and host of the Bare Marriage podcast. We examine our culture's current sexual framework and the lessons we teach about sex, especially within the Christian sphere, and how these can sometimes do more harm than good within the context of marriage and relationships. She and Benjamin discuss the fact that much of the Evangelical and secular conversations surrounding sex frame it as a male need that women must tend to. Sheila has been writing and speaking about marriage and family since 2003, and specifically about sex since 2010. After almost ten years of trying to help people fix common problems with sex in marriage, she started to wonder: what if the problem isn't a lack of good advice, but rather an abundance of bad advice? LINKS: Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/7h6K1rUqBviPAcEXPWg4Sh⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-exodus-cry-podcast/id1171898654?uo=4⁠ Watch our films: ⁠www.exoduscry.com/watch⁠ Give & fuel the fight: ⁠www.exoduscry.com/donate⁠ Get involved: ⁠www.exoduscry.com/getinvolved⁠ Website: ⁠www.exoduscry.com⁠ Podcast: ⁠www.exoduscry.com/podcast⁠ Articles: ⁠www.exoduscry.com/articles⁠ SOCIALS: Youtube: ⁠www.youtube.com/exoduscry⁠ Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/exoduscry⁠ TikTok: ⁠www.tiktok.com/exoduscry⁠ Twitter: ⁠www.twitter.com/exoduscry⁠ Facebook: ⁠www.facebook.com/exoduscry⁠ Exodus Cry is a leading global anti-trafficking nonprofit organization focused on ending widespread sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation, exposing this injustice for millions worldwide, and helping its victims to rebuild their lives.

Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon community! It's super fun, and it helps fund our research! Join us for as little as $5 a month.Our book The Great Sex Rescue, plus our two books that look into the sexual response cycle in detail: The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex. Emerson Eggerichs: His podcast where the clips were taken from, plus the podcast where we analyzed his advice to the woman crying the shower; the post where we went into this in detail; and the podcast featuring the woman who wrote in to Eggerichs. Dr. Laura Robinson's critiques of Beautiful Union. Here's Part 6 with links to everything (so go here, but then start at post 1 that is linked at the top and work your way through). In this podcast we focused on parts 3 and 4. My original Twitter thread about the visceral reaction that women have to sex advice. An article earlier this week about how pastors aren't necessarily the experts; lots of links to other well thought out critiques of Beautiful Union by Joshua Butler. 

Stephanie is joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire to discuss how to raise girls to resist toxic Christian teachings about sex, self, and speaking up. This conversation aims to serve parents of girls (and boys too!) from pre-teen years all to way to young adulthood. Sheila and Stephanie have an hour-long conversation of which today's episode is the second part (episode 206 was the first half, accessible here:  https://www.podcastics.com/episode/237258/link/ or on your favorite listening platform) Parents want their daughters to thrive--to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for them. Sheila asks, “What if the church is setting our daughters up to be small? What if the most common teachings girls hear in youth group make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they are assaulted?” Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book “She Deserves Better.” They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries. This book tackles tough topics like: -          The dating rule that works best—except when it doesn't (and why we need nuance) -          How we can talk about clothing choices without causing body image issues or blaming girls for boys' thoughts -          How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity or creating sexual anxiety -          How we can protect our daughters from a church hurt that could send them fleeing the faith And so much more. "Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world,” said Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation. “The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity." MEET SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. Support us!

Stephanie is joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire to discuss how to raise girls to resist toxic Christian teachings about sex, self, and speaking up. This conversation aims to serve parents of girls (and boys too!) from pre-teen years all to way to young adulthood. Parents want their daughters to thrive--to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for them. Sheila asks, “What if the church is setting our daughters up to be small? What if the most common teachings girls hear in youth group make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they are assaulted?” Sheila and Stephanie have an hour-long conversation of which today's episode is the first part (episode 207 will be the sequel, and will publish a few days later). Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book “She Deserves Better.” They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries. This book tackles tough topics like: -          The dating rule that works best—except when it doesn't (and why we need nuance) -          How we can talk about clothing choices without causing body image issues or blaming girls for boys' thoughts -          How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity or creating sexual anxiety -          How we can protect our daughters from a church hurt that could send them fleeing the faith And so much more. "Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world,” said Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation. “The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity." MEET SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. Support us!

Content note: This episode contains themes of sexual abuse and rape.Sheila Gregoire is an author who has written several books that break the mold of Christian books about sex and marriage. Her latest book, She Deserves Better, is about raising girls as followers of Christ in ways that leave purity culture and teaching about modesty in the dust while showing us a better way. We also talked to Sheila about her 2021 book The Great Sex Rescue, in which she points out the inherent misogyny in a vast majority of Christian books about sex and proposes a new way to create a sexual dynamic that promotes flourishing for women and men.In this episode, we tasted Driftless Glen's Port Barrel Finished Bourbon.If you're not interested in the bourbon tasting, skip to the 7:00 mark for the interview. Cheers!To chat with us and Bridget Eileen Rivera on August 17, subscribe at the Pappy level at our Patreon.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Tweet us at @PPWBPodcast, @robertkwhitaker, and @RandyKnie Follow & message us on Facebook & Instagram Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at pastorandphilosopher@gmail.com Cheers!

In this episode of Almost Heretical, we dive into a candid conversation about sex and purity culture with special guest Sheila Gregoire, author of "The Great Sex Rescue." Join us as we explore the harmful effects of purity culture, its impact on individuals' relationships and sexuality, and the importance of a healthy and holistic approach to sexual education. Key Topics Discussed: Understanding the origins and consequences of purity culture Examining the harmful messaging and shame surrounding sexuality Challenging the myths and misconceptions perpetuated by purity culture Exploring the long-lasting effects on individuals' sexual well-being and relationships Discussing the importance of consent, communication, and sexual education ★ Support our work and get: 2 bonus episodes each month, a montly Zoom call with Nate, Shelby and other listeners, an ad-free version of the show, and access to the private Facebook Group with hundreds of other listeners! Find out more here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The pastors' wives join Sheila Gregoire in a conversation about the negative effects of purity culture and how we can do better in the church moving forward. Sheila is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog, an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. Our teens (especially our girls) deserve better; we're bringing light to it all.   Follow along with Sheila: IG: @SheilaGregoire Website: BareMarriage.com Purchase She Deserves Better HERE.   To shop the new line of merch, head here: https://pastorswivestellall.com/shop   Want to support the Pastors' Wives Tell All podcast ministry? Become a patron! For more information head to our page on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pastorswivestellall   SUBSCRIBE: Sign up for our email list and receive updates on new episodes, free gifts, and all the fun! Email sign up HERE!   CONTACT US: pastorswivestellall@gmail.com   FOLLOW US! Website IG: @pastorswivestellall Facebook: @pastorswivestellall   JESSICA: @jessica_taylor_83 IG: @come_away_missions || FB: Come Away Missions IG: @copomarket || FB: COPO Market Websites: COPO Market, Come Away Missions   JENNA: @jennaallen FB: @JennaAllenDesign Website: Jenna Allen Design   STEPHANIE: @msstephaniegilbert FB: I Literally LOL Website: Stephanie Gilbert - I Literally LOL

Purchase a copy of She Deserves Better: https://amzn.to/40NMYZzArmed with data from an all-new survey of over 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today. They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire--the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime your daughter for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep her from setting healthy boundaries.Instead, the authors advocate biblically grounded, freeing messages that are more about the dos and less about the don'ts. By reframing (and sometimes replacing) common evangelical messages to teen girls, this book will equip you to raise a daughter who can navigate the tumultuous teenage years while still clinging tightly to Jesus.You can raise your daughter with the discernment to resist toxic teachings. Because she deserves better than a faith that keeps her small.Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com, an award-winning author, and a sought-after speaker. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Joanna Sawatsky has a master's degree in public health and is a trained microbiologist, epidemiologist, and biostatistician.Together they are the coauthors of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better.Purchase a copy of The Great Sex Rescue: https://amzn.to/414EmgW________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the founder of Bare Marriage (baremarriage.com) and the author/co-author of several books, including the great breaking The Great Sex Rescue, which she co-authored with her daughter, Rebecca Lindenbach, my other guest. Rebecca also works for Bare Marriage and is the co-host of the bare marriage podcast. Rebecca and Sheila are coming out with their latest book She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up. 

Authors of the Great Sex Rescue and mother daughter duo, Scheila Gregoir and Rebecca Lindenbach come on the show for an emergency episode to talk about the Gospel Coalition's recent piece titled Sex Won't Save You (But It Points to the One Who Will) By Josh Butler. This episode does contain sexually explicit language but is an important dialogue about the penis centered sexual ethic many in the Evangelical culture have. Read the article here Check out Sheila and Rebecca's Work Support Our Work Here Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and you can get access to our awesome Facebook group, our unfiltered podcasts, and more!This is the LAST WEEK to get the ebook for The Great Sex Rescue for just $2.99! On February 1 it goes up to its regular price!The Orgasm Course! If this is a struggle for you, we can help. https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/Our new book She Deserves Better is out in April! You can pre-order it now.My post Bring Back Vanilla Sex, that a lot of this podcast was based on.