Podcasts about Everyman

Most men carry a wound they rarely talk about—and it often begins with their relationship with their father. Whether your dad was absent, emotionally unavailable, overly critical, or simply unable to give you what you needed, that experience can quietly shape your identity, relationships, ambition, anger, and even the way you parent your own children. In this episode, Ryan shares his own story of growing up without a present father and explores how the "father wound" influences countless men long into adulthood. More importantly, he explains why understanding the wound isn't about making excuses—it's about taking responsibility, breaking generational cycles, and becoming the man your children need. If you've ever found yourself chasing approval, struggling to feel "enough," or determined not to repeat your father's mistakes, this conversation is for you.   SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 The Father Wound Most Men Never Discuss 02:36 Growing Up Without a Present Father 04:52 The Hidden Cost of Father Absence 06:40 What the Father Wound Really Is 08:54 How the Wound Shows Up in Adult Men 13:21 Understanding Isn't the Same as Blaming 14:45 Grieve It—Don't Bury It 15:52 Becoming Your Own Father 18:43 Stop Waiting for His Approval 21:02 Breaking the Generational Cycle 22:30 Forgiveness Is Not the Finish Line 24:41 Build Your Band of Brothers (Iron Council) 26:06 Final Thoughts   Battle Planners: Pick yours up today! Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto. For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood. Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready  

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim talks about creating a media-safe home. Is technology use, especially social media, bringing your family closer together or farther apart? I have two estranged adult kids. I set some boundaries and now I can't see my grandkids. Should I try to make amends with them? My fiancée's brother is a drug and alcohol abuser, he is in and out of rehab and won't get help for his mental issues. His mother enables him; how can my fiancée talk to her about it? Recently my wife left me while I was out of the country and served me with divorce papers. In the past I betrayed her and went to Every Man's Battle; is it too late to pursue her to reconsider the divorce? Is there hope for my daughter to cope with her verbally abusive ex on a court-appointed parenting app? The app isn't monitored, so he just says whatever he wants, and she has constant PTSD from his abuse.

3:05 - Can you see God and live? / 11:05 - Did Nehemiah do something wrong by commanding the Israelites to divorce their non-Israelite wives? / 18:20 - Are sabbaticals Biblical? / 24:19 - Should we be trying to cast out demons? / 42:14 - Who were the two men who followed Jesus' whole ministry? / 46:55 - How did the Disciples miss that Jesus was God? / 50:54 - How much time passed between Adam and Eve?

1. HEART OF THE MATTER 1A. Record-Breaking Missionary Numbers — Pres. Oaks at New Mission Leader Seminar At the 2026 Seminar for New Mission Leaders (June 18–21, Provo MTC), President Dallin H. Oaks announced that the Church will soon have the largest number of full-time missionaries in its history, surpassing the current 87,000+ serving worldwide. The surge is driven by the first wave of 18-year-old sister missionaries (following the November policy change lowering the minimum age from 19) and the addition of 55 new missions in July, bringing the global total to 506. President Oaks outlined three characteristics defining the restored Church: (1) the fulness of doctrine (including eternal marriage between a man and a woman); (2) priesthood authority and keys; and (3) a unique testimony of Christ grounded in modern revelation and the First Vision. Sister Kristin Oaks also spoke, sharing six core truths missionaries teach. Source: Church Newsroom, June 20, 2026 Note: Strong potential for discussion on what ‘only true and living church’ means in a pluralistic world — Richie angle? 1B. New Hymn ‘Welcome Home’ — The Story Behind It Composer Andrea Brett explains how a 2017 encounter with Demetrius O’Neal — a recent convert serving as a greeter at a Spokane ward on a snowy Sunday morning — inspired her hymn ‘Welcome Home,’ now published in the new Hymns for Home and Church. Brett submitted 10 pieces when the global hymnbook was announced in 2018; this was the only one she’d written before the call. She received confirmation of its selection in February 2025, then had a full-circle moment when she and O’Neal sat near each other at the April 2025 General Conference as the Tabernacle Choir performed it. O’Neal’s name appears in the hymn’s tune name as a tribute. The hymn is now translated and sung globally. Source: Church Newsroom / Richie’s document 1C. Family History Records Are a ‘Sacred Thread’ — Elder Bragg at International Archivists Congress Elder Mark A. Bragg, General Authority Seventy and executive director of the Church’s Family History Department and FamilySearch International, was a keynote speaker at the III Congress of Archivists: Digital Archive Expo (DA-EXPO), held June 8–12 in Astana, Kazakhstan. He called family history records ‘the thin but sacred thread’ tying people together across generations, and argued that records are ‘in a very real sense, witnesses.’ Elder Bragg framed the digital revolution in genealogy in moral terms: for most of history, access to records was shaped by ‘proximity, resources and specialized knowledge,’ but today a record created in one place can be preserved in another, indexed in a third, and discovered by someone on the other side of the world. ‘The reach is astonishing. The speed is breathtaking. The possibilities are almost beyond measure.’ He also said that ‘access is an act of kindness’ — records only fulfill their divine purpose when they are found, understood, and used. His core message: preserving memory is an act of hope. ‘It says that the past is not dead to us and that the future deserves more than fragments.’ Source: Church News, June 17, 2026 Angle: Great ‘quiet but meaningful’ story — LDS family history going global and leveling the playing field for genealogy worldwide. 1D. America Gives — All 50 States Receive Food Donations The Church completed a milestone in its ‘America Gives’ initiative by delivering a shipping container of food to Hilo, Hawaii — marking all 50 states reached. The initiative aims to deliver 250 truckloads of food nationwide in 2026 to celebrate the U.S. 250th anniversary. In Hawaii, the food went to The Food Basket, distributed to 10 local nonprofits. Notably, 42% of residents on the island of Hawaii face food insecurity — the state’s highest rate. Rosie Rios, chair of America 250 and former U.S. Treasurer, praised the milestone. Local Methodist pastor Ted Lesnett said recipients will know ‘when they were hungry, someone cared.’ Source: Church Newsroom / Richie’s document 1E. Church Donates $250,000 NZD to Christchurch Anglican Cathedral Rebuild The Church announced a NZ$250,000 donation (June 19, 2026) toward the restoration of Christchurch’s iconic Anglican Cathedral — damaged in the February 2011 earthquake. Elder Peter F. Meurs (Pacific Area President) and Anglican Bishop Peter Carrell presided at the announcement. The donation comes as the project faces a $45M funding shortfall and an overall $219M budget. The Christchurch City Council has offered $15M contingent on government and Anglican Church matches. Notably, a New Zealand Buddhist community made a similar gift in 2023 — the LDS donation continues a cross-faith pattern of support for the heritage project. Source: Richie’s document Angle: Rare and heartwarming — LDS funds an Anglican cathedral. Good interfaith story. 1F. Central America Humanitarian Blitz — 5 Projects, 500,000+ People In late May and early June 2026, the Church announced five humanitarian projects across Central America (with Sister J. Anette Dennis, First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, representing the Church). Projects include: the ‘Windows of Light’ eyecare program in El Salvador (350,000+ screenings to date); safe water access for 250,000+ in Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, and Nicaragua (with UNICEF); nearly 750 computers/tablets donated to 66 educational institutions in Guatemala; and medical equipment for the ‘La Mascota’ children’s hospital in Nicaragua. Source: Church Newsroom, June 2026 2. FAITH & DOCTRINE 2A. President Christofferson in Philadelphia & Toronto A busy week of ministry for President D. Todd Christofferson: He offered the invocation at Becket’s Canterbury Medal Gala in Philadelphia (multifaith event celebrating religious liberty), alongside Elder Gary E. Stevenson and others. The group also visited the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall — fitting, ahead of America’s 250th. Christofferson reflected on D&C 101 and the Constitution’s purpose to protect ‘all flesh.’ From Philadelphia, he and Sister Christofferson traveled to Toronto, meeting 250+ missionaries in the Canada Toronto Mission weeks before it divides into three missions (Toronto West, Toronto East, and Montreal). He also spoke to hundreds of LDS youth, with one — Amelia Fischer — saying ‘no amount of words can describe how I felt tonight.’ Source: Richie’s document / Church Newsroom 2B. BYU Scholar Study: Religion Adds 7.6 Years to Life The BYU Wheatley Institute is releasing three reports analyzing 3,000 of the most scientifically rigorous studies (culled from 60,000+ papers by Duke University) on religion and health. Key findings: 33/34 studies show improved social health; 10/11 show improved mental health; 7/8 show improved physical health. Regular worshippers live an average of 7.6 years longer (up to 13.7 years longer for African Americans). A ‘landmark finding’: 256 studies show religion prevents/aids recovery from substance abuse (vs. 6 showing negative impact). Author Loren Marks recommends public health frameworks treat religious involvement like exercise recommendations. Source: Richie’s document 2C. Elder Soares Testifies in the Philippines Elder Ulisses Soares completed a two-week ministry in the Philippines (mid-May 2026), meeting with 600+ young single adults in Cebu, 450+ in Quezon City, and 340+ missionaries at the Philippines MTC. His recurring message: ‘His arms are extended to all of us.’ The Philippines has more than 905,000 Latter-day Saints — the Church’s fourth-largest national membership. Two new temples were also dedicated in the Philippines this month: the Davao Philippines Temple (Elder Renlund, May 3) and the Bacolod Philippines Temple (Elder Andersen, May 31). Source: Church Newsroom, June 17, 2026 3. CULTURE & CURIOSITIES 3A. LDS Author in Everyman’s Library — A First BYU biology and bioethics professor Steven L. Peck has reportedly become the first Latter-day Saint author included in the prestigious Everyman’s Library series (publishing canonical English fiction since 1906). His 2012 novella A Short Stay in Hell — a philosophical horror story about a Mormon man condemned to an afterlife library containing every possible book — went viral on BookTok and found a new audience. A literature historian noted: ‘No Mormon or Mormon-adjacent writer that I know of has ever been featured in this prestigious series.’ The Salt Lake Tribune covered the story, noting the irony that a theological horror story marks one of the most significant moments in LDS literary history. Source: Salt Lake Tribune / Richie’s document 3B. The Sasine Family — 40 Countries Before Age 1 Keith and Chelsea Sasine, an LDS couple stationed in Germany (Keith is an Army oral surgeon), made history in November 2025 by taking their youngest daughter Mia to 40 countries before her first birthday (March–November 2025), using a Honda Odyssey for European road trips. The family of six (including Izzy, 10; Abby, 9; and John, 4) attends local wards wherever they travel — a faith anchor the couple says strengthened their testimony and taught their kids the importance of the Sabbath globally. They’re planning a move to Colorado Springs in 2026. Source: Richie’s document 3C. Jen Affleck (Secret Lives of Mormon Wives) Expecting Baby #4 Jen Affleck, 27-year-old star of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and Dancing with the Stars alum, announced June 18 that she and husband Zac Affleck are expecting their fourth child. She shared the news on Instagram captioned ‘Chapter Four.

3:12 - Are there female angels? / 8:13 - Can satan create spaceships? / 14:42 - Advice for helping a friend who lost a daughter. / 25:32 - Are there animals in heaven? / 36:44 - Testimony about sister's death. / 42:42 - Do we have to keep the sabbath? / 49:25 - Followup on animals in heaven.

3:48 - Why do more churches preach acceptance of sin? / 12:00 - Romans 8:29, is this Calvanism? / 24:50 - Did Chuck Smith put a date on Christ's return? / 40:15 - Comment on animals in heaven. / 50:47 - Matthew 18:15-17, what does this mean for church discipline?

Preached During Special Online Session

Important Links:Dad Tired Annual RetreatHost A Dad Tired Conference at your churchJoin the FREE Family Leadership ProgramShop the Dad Tired store for best-selling gear______What does real friendship actually look like for men?In this episode of Dad Tired, Jerrad is joined by Kaleb Allen and Chris Hilken for an honest conversation about brotherhood, grief, betrayal, loneliness, and the kind of friendship that goes far deeper than networking, convenience, or shared success.Together, they talk about why so many men struggle to build meaningful friendships, how pain often becomes the soil where real brotherhood grows, and why true friends are the ones who stay when your life is messy, costly, or inconvenient.This conversation is a reminder that men were not made to follow Jesus alone. We need brothers who know us, love us, challenge us, and are willing to “waste time” with us for the sake of something eternal.

9:33 - Is it possible to hear demons audibly/ am I being attacked? / 20:14 - Do animals go to heaven? / 30:00 - Followup on animals in heaven. / 35:24 - What does it mean to 'not inherit the Kingdom of God'? / 42:05 - Psalms 141:5-7, what does this mean? / 49:41 - Matthew 25, what does the Parable of Talents look like today?

Thanks so much for listening to the Believers Center podcast! Service Times:   Sundays at 10AM (online + in-person)Tuesdays at 7PM (in-person only)Follow us on Instagram @believerscenterTo learn more about Believers Center, visit https://www.believerscenter.com​​To submit a prayer request, or to get connected with a pastor, visit https://www.believerscenter.com/prayforme

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/22/2026.

Welcome to River of Life Church's podcast! We are a body of believers who gather together to worship God & grow in His grace. We are a church of His presence, His promises and we are for all people. More info can be found at www.rol-ag.com.

Why do so many men feel lost, stuck, or anonymous? Why do so few have a cause worth fighting for?   In this week's message, Jim Ramos challenges men to find their hill to die on—a God-given purpose that is bigger than themselves. Before a man can discover his mission, he must first know who he is and whose he is in Christ.  Want to protect your marriage? Get our free ebook: 7 Guardrails to Protect Your Marriage Before It's Too Late. Has Men in the Arena helped you make a change in your life, small or large? We want to hear your impact story! You can start a ministry to father the fatherless in your church! Learn how with our sponsor, Kids Outdoor Zone at https://kidsoutdoorzone.com/arena.

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/19/2026.

9:02 - Who is being told to flee in Revelation 18:4? / 17:06 - What version of the Old Testament is the most accurate? / 23:09 - What music should we play in church? Does it matter where it came from? / 41:26 - 2 Samuel 24:1, why did God kill all those Israelites? / 47:09 - Did the Ark of the Covenant move by itself? / 53:30 - Leviticus 22, what is a generation?

Click here to get your limited edition Impossible Life "Jesus Won" T-Shirt.What makes a great father? In part two of this conversation with Scott Unclebach, The Impossible Life Podcast gives Christian men a simple but powerful framework for fatherhood: consistency, emotional control, and intentionality. Scott explains that great fatherhood is not built in one heroic moment, but through years of showing up, doing what matters, staying faithful, and becoming the kind of man your children can trust. For men who want to live with purpose and faith, this episode is a reminder that the small things done consistently become the legacy your family remembers.Scott and Garrett unpack why consistency is one of the clearest expressions of strength. A father does not have to be perfect, but he must keep showing up. Church, Scripture, marriage, discipline, perseverance, and family values become powerful when children see them lived out over time. Emotional control is just as essential. A man who cannot control his emotions will eventually teach his family insecurity, but a father who stays steady creates peace, respect, and strength in the home. As Scott says, discipline should never come from anger, and the ability to “let it circle” before speaking can change the atmosphere of a family.The final trait is intentionality, and it may be the most urgent. Scott reminds men that there is only one eternal mission, and that the life we live now is preparation for what lasts forever. Fathers cannot afford to drift, assume they have more time, or let life pass by flippantly. The goal is not merely to raise good kids, but to raise disciples, build a family rooted in faith, and create a legacy that multiplies into children and grandchildren. This episode is a call for every Christian father to stop living casually and start leading with purpose, because the wealth that matters most is not money, success, or status. It is a family planted in the house of the Lord.Get With NuWave Home Lenders By Clicking HereGet a Free 7 Day Trial On The Tailored Training App By Clicking HereJoin a group of likeminded Impossible Life listeners in our FREE Skool community by clicking here.Get the Purpose Playbook by clicking hereGet the FREE Basic Discipline Training 30 Day Program by clicking hereJoin us in Mindset Mastery by clicking hereLevel up your nutrition with IDLife by clicking hereGET IN TOUCHSocial Media - @theimpossiblelifeEmail - info@theimpossible.life

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/18/2026.

3:45 - Why did Gentiles before Christ not have to sacrifice animals? / 12:33 - My friend just found out her fiance's previous divorce was never finalized, what should they do? / 20:46 - Can we use the book of Enoch at all? / 30:40 - Comment on Jesus being able to speak to a crowd all at once. / 33:51 - Who does the music for Focal Point? / 37:45 - My church is putting on a production of Aladdin, is that ok? / 43:19 - Who is the 'Angel of the Lord'? / 49:09 - What do you think about Ellen G. White's prophecies?

Dr. Lisa Larkin, doctor of internal medicine and 35-year women's health specialist, joins Jon and Will to explain what men need to know about menopause and perimenopause. She covers why women age completely differently than men (fits and starts vs. gradual decline), the biological reasons behind declining libido, sleep disruption, mood changes, and body changes in women's 40s and 50s, and why communication is the single most important thing couples can do during this transition. She also breaks down breast cancer risk assessment (25% of women are high risk and don't know it), the history of hormone therapy from the 2002 Women's Health Initiative scare to where the science stands now, why she opposes high-dose testosterone pellets for women, and why lifestyle beats supplements every time. Dr. Larkin is a breast cancer survivor herself and past president of the Menopause Society.Full episode: https://podfollow.com/mentalkingmindfulness/episode/03387a9002dca750859496876727425e576ad645/viewFull video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gSueDpfWYFree A2A course access: use code FREE at https://men-talking-mindfulness-a2a.circle.so/checkout/free-accessFree Awareness assessment and Focus app: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/linkinbio or text MTM to 33777 GET MORE FROM MTM:Text MTM to 33777 — free weekly newsletterSubscribe & Episodes: mentalkingmindfulness.comFREE APP: https://focusnowtrainingapp.com/FREE Assessment: https://focusnowtraining.com/assessment-pageA2A COURSE:12 modules on attention, presence & performance. Self-paced. Built for people who hate the word mindfulness.focusnowtraining.com/a2aBRING FNT TO YOUR TEAM:Custom training for your organization. In-person or online.focusnowtraining.com/contactCo-produced by Robert Lopez | cratesaudio.com

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/17/2026.

Are you seeing things in your marriage or a relationship that feel a little intense or puzzling…and you’re not sure if they're normal or actually signs of a toxic relationship? If so, it's important to pause and look at the pieces of the puzzle together to see what they might be telling you. To discover if you're in a toxic relationship take our free emotional abuse test. Here are five things that might seem “normal,” but aren’t: SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP THAT ARE EASY TO MISS 1. HE WANTS TO MOVE THE RELATIONSHIP FORWARD QUICKLY When you’re in a relationship with someone who seemingly shares and cares about your values and interests, it’s easy to be swept up by the intensity of it all. Especially if the relationship seems to happen at the “right” time, and things move forward quickly. But this level of intensity and pace doesn’t give you time to slow down and really think about why you seem so compatible. 2. HE WANTS CONSTANT ACCESS TO YOU, BUT HE’S CLOSED OFF It might seem caring for your partner or husband to want to know where you are all of the time. But is it reciprocal or does it feel one-sided, like he needs constant visibility into your life, while parts of his remain just out of reach? Many women in these situations describe a quiet, hard-to-explain feeling that something isn't adding up. Like he's keeping close tabs on them… while also keeping options, information, or even other relationships carefully hidden. 3. HIS MOODS SHIFT SUDDENLY AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHY Think about it…in healthy relationships, partners are usually aware of the reasons why one partner isn’t in a good mood. They typically communicate about bad days at work or when they’re not feeling well. But in toxic relationships, that level of trust and communication often isn’t there, because one partner doesn’t want it to be. Everything's fine, until it's not, and then, it suddenly is again…And you're left trying to figure out what changed. 4. HE‘S UPSET OVER SMALL THINGS Things that don't seem like a big deal, suddenly are signs of a toxic relationship. For example, you miss a turn on the way to his best friend’s birthday party… and suddenly it's not about directions anymore. He's accusing you of being disrespectful, or doing it on purpose because you don’t want to go. Or you might simply ask him to help with the groceries, and suddenly he’s angry because, “you don’t respect his time and all the things he has to do.” 5. HE’S A DIFFERENT PERSON WHEN OTHERS ARE WATCHING Things feel tense, confusing, or even cold behind closed doors…but in public, he seems calm, kind, hardworking, and completely put together. For example, during counseling or around friends, he might appear thoughtful, patient, and willing to work on the relationship. He says the right things. He looks sincere. Other people may even be impressed by how hard he's trying. But when you're alone again, it's different. The warmth disappears. The tension returns. And you're left trying to reconcile the version of him everyone else sees…with the version you live with every day. If you relate and you need support, we’re always online to help you. Go to btr.org/group/ to see my daily support group schedule. TRANSCRIPT: EARLY SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND Anne:  I did an interview with a member of our community. We’re going to call her Iris, She talked about how his toxic patterns showed up in her marriage and what happened when she started using the strategies she learned in my workshop. Here’s that interview. Welcome, Iris.  Iris: Thank you. Glad to be here. Anne: Let’s start at the beginning of your story. Can you talk about how you felt when you first met your husband? Iris: He was very charming, and he seemed extremely sincere. Now I understand that he was love bombing me and was trying to make things go fast. It was very intense. And he preyed upon me at a time when I was really ready to get married and have kids. Everybody was getting married and having kids. So he went right for what was the most vulnerable part of me. And we met through a young adult single thing in our group. He proceeded to be very attentive. Anne: When you say young adult, single thing, that sounds a little bit like my faith. What’s your faith background? Iris: it’s the Catholic church. It’s actually Theology on Tap, which is at a brew pub, and you can buy a drink and mingle. And then they have a speaker. Anne: Kind of Matt Fraddish. Iris: Yes. Anne: I actually know Matt Fradd in real life. Iris: And I don’t go to the Catholic church anymore. But that was a huge part of our marriage and, we were really in a circle of pretty devout people. Which also I think contributed to my willingness to submit to him. Anne: When you say submit, can you talk about that a little bit more? EARLY CONTROL DISGUISED AS CARE AND SHARED VALUES Iris: Hindsight, there were red flags before we married. There were early signs of coercive control. It dates me, but cell phones weren’t the norm yet. And he bought me a cell phone so he could reach me more easily. He was pretty volatile. He asked me to marry him within a month or two and I deferred and we dated longer, but he was just intense. Then he would be very sorry. He would cold shoulder me at points. He’d be angry for things that were weird, wasn’t very flexible. Now I know these were signs of a toxic relationship. We went through nine months of marriage prep. So many Christian circles focus on the idea that the man is the head. I saw that in my parents' marriage too. My dad made all the decisions. My mom was independent in some ways, but she still did what he wanted. I think I expected marriage to look like that. The husband leads and the wife follows. Even though I was independent, had a master's degree, was over 30, and had traveled, I still lived in a huge Christian community where that model of marriage was everywhere. NOT RECOGNIZING SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Anne: And you just mentioned nobody actually says that, but they actually do say that, it might not be in so many words. It might not be so directly, but they like actually say it. And if you call ’em out and say, “Hey, you said this.” They usually deny it. “Of course, I didn’t say that.” And you’re like, “What? You did.” That’s the part that’s really confusing. The therapists come in or the clergy comes in, or the friends and family, and they gaslight you too. It’s like, “You’re putting words in my mouth. I didn’t say that.” Especially when they find out what he is really like, and you’re like, “What?” “You told me this.” “Well, I never did.” And they for sure did. It’s almost like no matter what you do, you can’t win. There are friends of mine and maybe friends of yours too, who are amazing and they’re like, “Oh my word, I said the wrong thing.” That is so validating. I feel like when I meet people like that, it’s easy to be like, “It’s okay did the ‘wrong thing’ too. I was doing the best I could and I didn’t know that he was abusive. And I didn’t know what was happening, and didn’t recognize signs of a toxic relationship. So I can’t blame you either.” But, for the other people who continue to not believe us and deny that they said or did certain things. ‘That’s harder. Cause it becomes this almost group of unhealthy people that you’re dealing with, rather than just the one unhealthy person. Iris: Right. Signs of a Toxic Relationship: The Sudden Switch After Marriage Anne: Did you end up going to couple therapy? Iris: In the Catholic Church you do Pre-Cana, which is pre-marriage counseling, and they saw some things that were concerning. He was very intent that he could change things. They would categorize it like how we were different. I think she said to me, “Life might always be kind of hard for him.” ‘Cause that’s what she was seeing.. He works very hard, so he seems very sincere. And he met with the man in the couple we met with. And read books and was very sincere. They said to us, “Oh, we’ve never seen somebody work so hard to try to improve themselves so that they’re ready for a marriage.” He impressed them, and I remember feeling exhausted by that point. And it was a mask. I now know that these were signs of a toxic relationship. Anne: Like you shouldn’t have to work that hard. to be normal. They are hard workers, because it would be very hard to pretend all the time. Iris: Right, and that’s how he lives. He has a mask all the time. We had this huge Catholic wedding, like an hour and 20 minute long mass. And it was that night the switch flipped. And he was angry. He cold shouldered me. We’d waited till our wedding night, and he said things that were incredibly humiliating. Seeing THE SAME SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP IN OTHER WOMEN’S STORIES Iris: Then the next morning he would hardly talk to me. And we left the beautiful hotel. We were to go to a morning brunch at my parents, with guests who were from outta town and our families. And he was furious because people had decorated our car. And he had to stop at a car wash to rinse everything off before we even got to the wedding brunch. Anne: I used this story in my book. Iris: You did? Anne: Yes, this story. Someone else had the same story. Iris: Isn’t that amazing? Like how these Chucks do the same thing to us and have all the same signs of a toxic relationship. Anne: ‘ Like Twilight Zone. Cause you never gave me that story. Iris: isn’t that amazing? I feel like that in group a lot. I’m like, “Oh, that happened to me.” Anne: BTR has been like me trying to fit all the pieces together. And as I’ve tried to fit all the pieces together, things became very clear. And I’ve become very good at seeing in the dark. So this piece of the puzzle I was trying to get it to fit. Like why did he do that? I’ve never met you before, but I spent a lot of time piecing just this piece. With the other pieces that I had of other people’s stories to say, what was this about? I’ve spent so much time with this story in my brain and what it meant. I’m like, holy cow. Iris: Thank you. Thank you for somewhere to tell it, because it was something that felt so shameful for such a long time, rejected, and humiliated. RECOGNIZING THE PATTERNS OF EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE PARTNERS Iris: So we went to that wedding brunch, and I knew he was on edge the whole time. Other people didn’t necessarily see that. We got back to the house we were making our home together, which was his house. And he was angry, he didn’t want to go on our honeymoon, but I was like, I’ve been planning a wedding. All I have been thinking of is being able to go rest on a beach. So he agreed to go, and it was a really a horrible week. He was just fighting. His anger and unreasonableness, were more signs of a toxic relationship. It’s so hard, because he can make it feel like I’m also participating. We finally came home after the week, and at several points I thought maybe I should just fly home,’because it was awful. How would I even ask somebody to come and pick me up? What would I say? What would I do? Feeling so humiliated, like we had this big wedding, we’d done all this preparation, so we finally came home and I remember the first morning after we’d gotten home. He got up, he didn’t even talk to me. He grabbed his mountain bike, and he went mountain biking all day. That was a pattern that repeats throughout our marriage, where he just does his own, yeah. Anne: I had a mountain biking all day incident as well that I wrote about in my book. All of a sudden I’m like, what is happening? This is Twilight Zone, yes. Iris: No way. The Chucks, it’s the Chuck thing, which has been the most powerful thing to learn. WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENT RESPONSES Anne: Surreal that they’re all the same. I think that’s one of the powerful things about our group sessions is that the women are so different. We all react differently and we’re all doing the right thing. Because all of our personalities are different. So some of us want to protect ourselves by being quiet and sitting back and that’s the right thing for us. Some of us want to fight the guy, because that’s how our personality is. But they do all the same things. It doesn’t seem the same, because we haven’t acted the same. And I think the thing that like really helps it all come together is when you realize they’re so transactional. That they’re going to manipulate you in whatever way works for you, all signs of a toxic relationship. So if you’ve been trying to protect yourself in a certain way, they’ve been countering your protection methods in a certain way. And then when you change up the way you’re trying to protect yourself, they almost become like a different person. But they’ve been that same exact person the whole time. It’s just that they’re so transactional that they’re like, oh, that’s not working anymore. I have to do this other thing. And this whole new set of problems comes out so they can be super, super nice or super aggressive. But the whole time, it’s manipulation and lies. Did he ever go through a time where he seemed like he was really great? WHEN PREGNANCY AND BAD ADVICE KEEP YOU STUCK WITH SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Iris: I got pregnant right away, so I probably would’ve left, but then I was pregnant and trying to navigate that. When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I went to therapy right away, and that therapist just didn’t have the skills to recognize an emotional cycle of abuse and really gaslit me. Then got pregnant again when my daughter was nine months old. So I had two babies, under 18 months old. That was another thing. In my faith, that I grew up with, you’re supposed to accept all babies. That was something that really kept me trapped. I knew once I was pregnant that I would always have to be linked to him. And that was incredibly devastating and terrifying. I think the Christian, and I’m going to say trope, I don’t want to make fun of anybody, but the trope of marriage that you just have to work hard enough and it will all be fine. That really was so damaging when signs of a toxic relationship are present. He did tell me early in our marriage that he had struggled with porn. He did the Every Man’s Battle stuff and everything like that. Also he confided in me that he’d used some at work. He has a security clearance and was about to be interviewed with a, polygraph. He was afraid they would ask him something like that. At the time, he was abusive our whole marriage, but it was the most intense. I didn’t even have the wherewithal to understand that. It was disturbing, it made me feel awful. But I didn’t have any brain space to process what to do with that. He downloaded it on me to get it off his chest. HE WAS Emotionally ABUSIVE ALL OF THE TIME Iris: After my second baby was born, he was probably seven months old, I tried to leave to go to a mom’s group. My ex-husband was angry with me because of my daughter, who’s my older one. I was working on potty training her. And I let her wear pants without underwear. She pooped and he was furious. He came up behind me in the bathroom and pushed me against the counter and said, “Next time, make sure she wears underwear.” So he was abusive all of the time, disrupted my sleep, and would wake me up in the night angry if I coughed. I had to sleep on 18 inches of the bed or less, without moving to not anger him. The reaction I had was to kick him to get him to back up. That’s when he grabbed me by the throat and started to strangle me. And I know now, but I felt terrible later. All I wanted to do was leave. I got my coat and I got in the car and I left. My children were still in the house with him. I just wanted to get away. I went to the mom’s group like everything was fine. But I was dissociated and in trauma. I had gone to my therapist then within a day or two and just poured everything out. And her response was, other women have it worse. And I was so humiliated, like feeling somehow I had caused this. Even though like I knew, I have education. I was in my thirties, I knew that wasn’t right. But the abuse had taken so much of my strength. That kept me so trapped for so long. It made it harder to open up. Therapists aren’t equipped to see signs of a toxic relationship Iris: And we went to so many marriage therapists, who just aren’t equipped. Because Chuck is charming, and they just don’t understand the dynamic except for one therapist who we did not go back to. They didn’t see the signs of a toxiC relationship. But she was crazy. So we went in, it was this dilapidated house. She was far back in the house. The door was open. We went in and sat down. Literally a dog with sores and the cone of shame came out, and she was like, I’ll be right there. Chuck was like, so wigged out. She came out and talked to us for a little while. She also had paranoid notes tacked up on her wall. Anyway, she talks to us for a little while, and Chuck is so wigged out, so Chuck is walking out. And before we leave she says, I want to give you something. And she hands me a page, and it has books on it. So I went home and ordered it, and then it came and I didn’t read it, like I couldn’t read it. I didn’t read it for the longest time, because it was just so painful. But that was the only therapist who saw the signs of a toxic relationship. And then I found out the next week she lost her license, in the newspaper. Anyway, she was the only one who saw the abuse and handed me a key. Anne: So she handed you a clue. When His “I Choose You” Doesn't Add Up Iris: A clue, and she was right. I had gone to other therapists over the years. I looked just crazy, because I would just cry. One therapist had different offices and I would always go to the wrong one. because I had no short term working memory available. Chuck disrupted my sleep. I’d be in the shower, he’d bring the baby in screaming and put them on the bath mat and I’d have to get out and take care of the baby. He’d drive angry, the list goes on and on. I just didn’t have the words to explain. We went to a mom’s group event where dads were invited. And he was angry at me the whole time, but only I knew that. And then I had to get in the car and drive home with him. So it was really intense. And then at about the seven year mark, he decided that marriage worked for him. It was such a delight, such a relief to have him gone for two weeks. He came home from a business trip. And he said, “I realized it’s been you the whole time. You’re really the one that I want to be married to.” Anne: Oh Iris: Right. Anne: Wait, he was having an affair. Iris: I don’t know. Anne: That sounds like something someone would say if they just broke up with someone. Because they’re like trying to choose between the person they’re having an affair with. In my book, I put the pieces together. FROM THE DAY WE GOT MARRIED, THERE WERE SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Anne: After interviewing over 200 women and hearing their stories. I’m pretty good at knowing what happened. I think in this situation, he’s having an affair and she breaks up with him. He’s feeling bummed about it. He might say out loud to you, I decided I want to be with you. Iris: Mm hmm Anne: You don’t have the context of the affair, of him breaking up with her. So this really weird out of the blue statement, “I’ve decided I want to be married to you.” When he’s been married to you for seven years is odd. It also feels like a relief, “Oh, maybe he just didn’t want to be married to me before, and now he’s choosing me.” But you don’t realize what a weird out of place thing that is, because he makes you feel better in that moment. I don’t know if that rings true to you, but it seems that would be the order of events that would precipitate out of the blue, telling you, “Oh, I’m choosing you now.” Iris: Yeah, it didn’t make me feel better, because from the day we got married, he was horrible. it was awful. Anne: So you’re like, great. Now this awful person really wants to be married to me. Iris: It felt like a lie. Now that I understand how Chuck works, like there was something he wanted, he didn’t really love me. Somebody who really loved me and realized they were wrong would’ve not said that. I think they would’ve said, ” I’ve been horrible. I can see why you wouldn’t even want to be married to me, but I realized I really want to be married to you. They would’ve said something to try to heal that. Anne: Some effort to repair. Seeing the Patterns and Signs of a Toxic Relationship Anne: Instead it was more signs of a toxic relationship. Iris: I think so. And I think that’s why it felt awful. Because he manipulated me. Which I don’t think I could verbalize at that time, but he manipulated again. Anne: Were you about to leave at that time? Was there anything about you that was different? Iris: He knew that I was unhappy, but he was abusive all of the time, yeah. Anne: Did you ever find out about explicit media use? Iris: He told me, in hindsight, he’d invited a single woman that he’d never met to our wedding. Which was weird. It was a last minute thing, and I feel like she was probably a backup. Anne: You’ve said three stories now that sound exactly like other stories. I have heard this before. Your story includes all the classic, down to the detail. Iris: Wow Anne: Of inviting someone else to the wedding. Iris: The Chuckness of it. Anne: You got a winner. Iris: He’s a doozy. He told me later that he didn’t actually want to get married. Then when I look at inviting this woman to the wedding, he didn’t admit that for many years. But when he did, I was like, oh, so she must have been the escape hatch. If he didn’t go through with marrying me, he would’ve had someone in the wings. FEELING HELPLESS Iris: I suspect he continues to use porn. He is in cybersecurity, and he always had three computers in his office. So I wonder if one of those he used. I don’t know. I’ve always been curious about what that was. I don’t think I was as tuned into that until I was leaving the marriage. And then there wasn’t much that I had access to. There wasn’t anybody that seemed to have that language who I could talk to. I just felt really helpless, and he was very manipulative and very controlling, the love bombing, he is very good at. The other part was that I was super reactive at that point. So I felt very guilty about my responses to his behavior. Even though it was less intense and further apart. But the reality is that those first seven years, in the bedroom, total coercion, marital rape, and everything now that I have words for, had happened. By that point, like there was very little he had to do to make me comply, to try to stay out of his way. I would try to have a separate life, while maintaining that Christian marriage appearance. It took me a long time to see these as signs of a toxic relationship. Anne: We would probably call it like survival mode. You are trying to survive and that’s why a lot of people use the word survivor when they talk about abuse victims, because every day you’re just trying to survive. Why Getting Help Feels So Scary at First Iris: Yeah, daily. Navigate all of the things that are happening that just don’t make any sense. And I don’t have the words for. I think during the pandemic, I started to see your Instagrams. And it was like, oh, that’s what’s happening, those are the words. That’s what this is. And beginning to be able to label things and feel like I’m not alone. Then, wanting to join group, but then being afraid. What if it doesn’t help, I don’t want Chuck to know I’m joining? Just feeling do I really want to do that? because I felt like if I go through that door, I can’t go back. Anne: Can we talk about that for a minute? because a lot of women have told me that. I followed you on Instagram, or I listened to the podcast, and I didn’t start attending group sessions because I knew it would change everything. What is it about BTR that is different in that way? It’s different than maybe therapy or something. Is it because you’re going to finally get help to look at it. Seeing the signs of a toxic relationship can be scary at first. Iris: This can make me cry. I think, because no one had helped. So I think there was an element of, I could try this and probably it’s still not going to help. By that point, looking for help for so long and thinking, I don’t know that anything will help. then being so vulnerable and beaten down. I think there’s a sense of like, does anybody really want to help me? Do I deserve help? because it certainly seems like it’s my fault. So being very afraid to join a group. Like it’s terrifying the first day. BTR FELT LIKE AN ANSWER TO PRAYER Anne: Once you did attend a group session? Were you surprised at what happened? Iris: Yeah, the first day I joined, you hear that zoom beep and you are in group and feeling so afraid. But I was so welcome. it was like I could take a breath, even though really I was crying so hard. Hearing everybody talk, hearing the coaches talk, feeling like the words made sense. I didn’t share that first time, but just crying afterwards. Like there’s somewhere that gets this. There’s somewhere where there are other women who understand this. I’ve never met anybody who knows what’s happening to me. In my story, something that’s amazing was that when my daughter was a baby, there was this show on daytime TV called Starting Over House. It was a reality show for women to go to this house and start over. They had two coaches, and I remember watching these women go, and they had all different kinds of problems that they were trying to grow from or whatever. All I wanted was to take my baby and join that house. It was a reality show. I’m sure it would not have been really super helpful. But I just wanted to have people love on me and help me figure out my marriage. That’s all I wanted. So when I came to Betrayal Trauma Recovery group, I’m not kidding you, two of the coaches looked like those two coaches on that show. It just felt like it was a prayer answer. HIS ANGER WAS THERE ALL THE TIME Iris: So Sharon and Renee, two coaches loved on me and made me feel like I wasn’t crazy. And helped me to slowly unravel what had been happening and what had happened to me, and find my voice. I joined in the spring, I was already starting to take steps in my marriage to not engage with Chuck. By July, he was angry with me all of the time. Which I’ll come back to in just a minute. But , before I had joined, he had done some really angry driving in the car. He’d been angry one day when I had locked the door to the master bedroom, because I like to pray and meditate. And then I had gotten in the shower without unlocking it. Because I just want privacy from two kids, a dog and a Chuck. He banged on the door for as long as I was in the shower, and I could hardly hear him, but it scared the pants off of my kids. I felt like I didn’t know what to do. When I joined group, I finally started to have some strategies and observe him. Sometimes I forget all the things that happened. Right before I joined in February, he bought a new car and asked for money from his father. Then he came to me and said, “I didn’t spend all the money on the car. I saved some, so either you can go to marriage therapy with me.”, which he’d been threatening, and I didn’t want to go to marriage therapy with him because we’d been many, many times. GROUP HELPED ME SEE THE SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Iris: He said, “Either you go to marriage therapy with me, and I’ll buy a car for our daughter, or I’m going to divorce you. Not long after that, I ended up joining group. Then he said, “I used that money to file for divorce. I hired an attorney, and how do you want me to serve you your papers?” At that point, I had enough skill to say you can have me served, thank you. And it was super calm. And then I actually jumped in group and was able to just process. One of the things that was so amazing was that everything happening to me in real time, I could then go in a group, get support, be in my closet, my car, or at the library. The more I went towards health and boundaries, the angrier he got. So he actually continued to ask me for two months how I wanted my divorce papers. I can see how divorce and emotional abuse were intertwined, he was using the threat of divorce to try to control me. I would say, “You can have me served.” And he would say, I don’t want to pay $400. He did that until I got a paper in the mail and I thought that I was being served. I didn’t think I could be served in the mail, which you can’t in my state, but it was actually that they were going to kick it out of the system. I took that paper to an attorney, because I had been interviewing attorneys. That kicked off the divorce process. Because I was served. Anne: That whole time he is asking, “How do you want to be served? And you’re like, “Just serve me.” DEALING WITH CONTROL WHEN HE FILED FOR DIVORCE Anne: He's trying to get you to do something to stop the divorce. He threatens you—if you don't toe the line, I'll divorce you. When you’re like, okay, go ahead and divorce me, then he’s escalating. Using all the tricks and signs of a toxic relationship that worked before. He reminds me of my ex, who said that. Then he didn’t file. Because he thought that would instigate me repairing. Or me doing the thing I was supposed to do. And when I didn’t do it, I don’t think he wanted to file for divorce. It’s just that he couldn’t figure out how to control me anymore. He was like, well, I guess I have to make these things happen. And it sounds the same in this scenario, where he’s trying to get you to do something. Because a normal person, if they’re like, how do you want me to serve you? And you say, oh, just serve me. They’d be like, okay. And they would serve you. Iris: Right, it was control. I was so thankful I could go back in group and have the framework, putting my lab coat on, doing one step at a time. Getting shored up so that I wouldn’t be bowled over by his behavior. I finally hired an attorney, and my attorney notified his attorney. Chuck came to me and said, “Well, that’s not fair. You didn’t tell me you had an attorney. And now we both have to decide to dismiss the divorce. I can’t just decide myself.” Anne: Like not to get divorced? After he’s filed, he’s like, wait. Now that you’ve responded to me serving you with divorce papers, we actually have to get divorced. Iris: Right. Anne: That sounds like my Chuck too. INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS HELPED ME GET READY FOR EACH BIG BATTLE Iris: Really, it’s like they’re all going by the same playbook. I think realizing that these are all the signs of a toxic relationship was huge. And it allowed me to understand that my job was to be strategic. Chuck does a lot of stupid as a strategy. That attorney he hired in July, by the time our status conference was in October, he’d used all of his retainer. Which was $5,000, and nothing had happened yet. Because he is a Chuck and likes to call his attorney to talk. So then right after the status conference, he fired the attorney and then went pro se for a while. I was so thankful that I had BTR, that I could do group. I could do the Betrayal Trauma Recovery individual sessions to get ready for each big barrier or battle with him, so that I went in calm and focused. It really allowed me, in my divorce process to understand that this was the best thing for me. Even though he was trying to control me. It was finally the door out. And he kept coming back to me and asking, “Do you really want a divorce?” And I would say, “You could move out.” But he never would. One of the other things was that understanding that there was going to be so much out of my control and really focusing on what was in my control. In my coaching sessions with Renee and with Sharon, being able to determine what my top priorities were. My priorities weren’t numbers. My priorities were big picture. And then I said, these are the things that are most important and this is what I want to work towards. And it helped me. I feel like things worked out well for me. WE SETTLED AN HOUR BEFORE COURT Iris: So having enough money to restart and go back to school. Having stability for my kids, not selling the house immediately so that my daughter could finish high school. Like those were the big picture things. And because Chuck just wants to fight, it was the 11th hour literally. He hired an attorney again, just weeks before our divorce was final. But we ended up settling like an hour before court. I was able just to hang on, to understand it was going to be like that no matter what I did. Like I didn’t have any control over him, and I really got up that morning not knowing what was going to happen. And being at peace in that, and that I was doing all the things that I needed to do, and to let go of that so that I wasn’t in a battle with him. That was incredibly powerful. Hard but powerful. So it’s been final for two years. And the post separation abuse continues, and BTR’s been incredibly helpful in that. I was able to stay in our marital home for a year till our daughter graduated, and then last year that sold. So I moved out and things just lined up. In part because he was so disorganized. I think that worked out in my favor. And I’m now in school finishing a post Master’s certificate in school counseling. And I got hired last fall as a school counselor. So I’m working full-time as a school counselor while finishing my certificate. Just having somewhere to work out the technical stuff and then the emotional stuff, to understand how to be strategic. RESTARTING MY LIFE Iris: Because I could stay in that place rather than be in his blender. Which is what it was for 18 years. I have been able to restart my life and feel so grateful and fortunate. That I’ve had the support, and he continues to be abusive. And my daughter now is 19 and my son is 17. And so being able to talk about that and how he behaves helped me. I know that at some point, I won’t have to interact with him as much. Or at all once my kids are bigger. But because of the type of abuser he is, because of the types of things he did to me, I know that I am at greater risk of him being dangerous to me physically. And so being able to unpack that, but also, understanding that I have a right to safety and that I can take steps to do that and not feel bad about it. He’s much sneakier now. He’s incredibly angry with me and feels like the divorce was unfair. Because his goal is control, he can’t control me anymore, I think is one reason why he’s angry. It is palpable when I’m around him. He seethes at me. Other people may not be able to see it because he’ll mask it until there’s nobody around. But I think it has been invaluable to me to have a community where I can process that and then take steps to be safe from all the signs of a toxic relationship. When I finally blocked him, which was scary to do, because we have two kids. And that was easier to be able to text and call. It was just another vector for him to get to me. BLOCKING HIM FELT SO EMPOWERING Iris: So blocking him and doing email only. It felt so empowering to make that decision and be able to unpack that in group and also get the support of “Yay, you finally blocked him.” Like I’d been talking about it for so long. And trying to figure out the signs of a toxic relationship, There are the big steps to leave abuse and there are smaller ones too. Sometimes it’s the little ones that felt really hard. Especially because then my kids would know that I blocked him. Moving away from abuse is hard. I left the house today because I have somebody cleaning my house, which I started hiring somebody. So that I can do all that I’m doing. because I’ve been in school and working full-time and parenting two teens, and it feels so empowering. When they walked in today, I was thinking, because I was coming to talk to you and I was like, they’re helping me leave abuse. And I can say that to you. I think you know that. But he was abusive with cleaning. He would wake me. He likes things clean. He’d wake the kids cleaning and it’s very controlling. But to have a clean house and not be abused, it’s hard to express. This is my safe space, and I get to decide how it gets clean. I get to decide how to spend my money. I get to make choices now that I couldn’t make before. I’m just so incredibly grateful that BTR, I can make choices and know that I can. Thank you. LEARNING THE STRATEGIES IS INVALUABLE Anne: You are so brave and so strong. Look at you. You’ve got a good job. You have enough money to be able to hire someone to help clean your house, and the lack of guilt. Because some people have the money, but they’re like, I still can’t. I should be able to, no, like look at all the amazing things that you’ve accomplished. When it comes to divorce, if people ask me my situation, I say I am proudly divorced. I am so happy divorced. And I also say things like abuse doesn’t work out for a lot of people, but it worked out so well for me. Because everything that I have gained from learning about the signs of a toxic relationship and the strategies of protecting myself, has been invaluable. Like our confidence just grows day by day. That little voice in our heads and that little like charge that feels like I’m doing something wrong or I can’t do this or I can’t do that just starts to fade away. And life feels so free and wonderful. I’m so happy for you. It’s wonderful. Good job. Iris: Thank you, thank you for starting BTR and your podcasts were such a beacon for me too. Before I started group of these voices saying, “You’re not alone, you’re not crazy.” Listening to your voice, I still probably need to hear that a lot, because he makes me feel crazy. So thank you. Anne: Well, thank you, without women like you who listen and come and use our services, we wouldn’t be here. So thank you. Our services are incredible. Our team is incredible. It’s such a safe place. THE DIFFERENCE WITH BTR SERVICES Anne: I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between BTR and the difference in our services is that it’s so real. You really have women you can see who know your story. You can talk to them every single day in person . And they’re never going to blame you or judge you. It’s never going to be that you made some kind of soul contract, like the weird stuff that you might hear from people who somehow try to blame you. I’m like, there’s no reason to ever say any of it had anything to do with you. because you were surviving the best you could the whole time, and you were going for help, and no one gave you the right information. And none of that has anything to do with you. They are helping you deal with the signs of a toxic relationship. That’s the crazy thing about abuse. You’re doing every single thing right and you still can’t get the right information. Despite you trying to get it for years. Some people don’t believe it, because they can’t imagine that would happen. But it happens every day with so many women all over the world. Anyway, thank you for your support of BTR. Iris: It is really such a privilege to be in this community. I felt, loved on and prayed for fiercely. BTR GIVES US THE STRATEGIES THAT WE NEED Iris: I remember when I first started. I thought they’re giving us the weapons that we need to fight the battle. Almost under the cover of darkness. They sort of come into our homes, our cars, our closets, and give us the weapons we need to fight the evil that is happening to all of us. Like all of a sudden realizing the support, but also the education that BTR does, is invaluable, to help us recognize and deal with the signs of a toxic relationship. I could get out of my reactive brain and really start to think, “Oh, this is what’s happening. Okay, this is what I can do. Chuck is doing this. This is what I’ve always done, but I don’t have to do that. I can do this.” It changed everything. Anne: Well, I am so glad, thank you so much, Iris, for taking the time to share your story with me today. Iris: Thank you.

5:56 - 2 Thessalonians 2:11, What is the Great Delusion? / 13:00 - Ezekiel 13:17-18, What is this about? / 20:30 - Does Romans 1 outline the Great Delusion? / 25:36 - What happens when we die? / 40:14 - Is it Biblical to ask God not to hold a sin against another person? / 46:15 - When does the Revelation Beast claim to be God?

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/16/2026.

10:23 - Can I sue a clinic over a cancer misdiagnosis? / 24:28 - Are there any resources for a pastor looking for a commercial space? / 32:55 - Need assistance with getting on disability after a cancer diagnosis? / 45:00 - Do we have to keep the 10 Commandments?

Fatherhood is more than a title. It's a responsibility, a privilege, and one of life's greatest gifts.In this special Father's Day episode, Michael Chernow shares a heartfelt message about what truly matters as a parent. From the importance of being present with your children to the lessons he's learned as a father, this conversation is a powerful reminder that success isn't measured by money, status, or possessions, but by the impact we have on the people we love most.Michael opens up about the emotional moments he shares with his sons, the challenges modern fathers face, and why our children don't need more things—they need more of us.Whether you're a father, have a father, or hope to become one someday, this episode will remind you what truly matters.Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.

Get your Impossible Life "Jesus Won" t-shirt we mentioned by clicking here.What does it actually take to be a great father? In this Father's Day episode of The Impossible Life Podcast, Nick Surface and Garrett Unclebach sit down with Garrett's dad, Scott Unclebach, to talk about the kind of fatherhood that builds strong kids, deep trust, and lasting legacy. This is not just a conversation about being a Christian dad who checks the spiritual box. It is about becoming the kind of man whose consistency, integrity, love, and faith give his children a foundation strong enough to build their identity on.Scott shares the simple but powerful principles that shaped his family: do what you say, be the same man everywhere, apologize when you miss it, speak life over your children, and let them feel deeply loved. Garrett explains how his father's consistency gave weight to his words, so when others questioned who Garrett was, he could trust what his father had spoken over him. For Christian men, this is one of the greatest responsibilities of fatherhood: to speak identity, model faith, and live in a way that makes your words trustworthy.This episode is a call for men to stop blaming what they did not receive and start becoming what their children need. Scott did not grow up with the kind of father he later became, but he chose to break the pattern, follow God, and build something different. The result is a picture of fatherhood that is strong and tender, masculine and loving, disciplined and deeply relational. If you are a father, want to be a father, or are still healing from the father you did not have, this conversation will challenge you to live with purpose, walk in faith, and become the kind of man whose children know they are loved, led, and called to greatness.Get With NuWave Home Lenders By Clicking HereGet a Free 7 Day Trial On The Tailored Training App By Clicking HereJoin a group of likeminded Impossible Life listeners in our FREE Skool community by clicking here.Get the Purpose Playbook by clicking hereGet the FREE Basic Discipline Training 30 Day Program by clicking hereJoin us in Mindset Mastery by clicking hereLevel up your nutrition with IDLife by clicking hereGET IN TOUCHSocial Media - @theimpossiblelifeEmail - info@theimpossible.life

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/15/2026.

On the show: -Saving marriages one at a time -Flooded streets all because no one wants to take responsibility -Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! -Stuck on the Boomerang and loving it?! -Jerk or Justified? Your pool is too darn LOUD! -Looking of extras to be in a movie with us -Everyman's nightmare! Construction OUCH! stories

Why do so many people reach midlife feeling disconnected from themselves?In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Brian Dixon — known professionally as Dixon — shares his journey from quiet misalignment and emotional drift to reclaiming purpose, courage, and authenticity later in life.Dixon, is an adventurer, author, speaker, and founder of The Someday NOW Project, a human re-engagement movement dedicated to helping people reconnect with purpose, energy, and the parts of themselves they may have lost to burnout, routine, and misalignment.After a life-threatening pulmonary embolism following a mountain bike accident, Dixon realized the life he was living no longer aligned with who he truly was. At 52 years old, he trained for two years before launching a paraglider solo off Lookout Mountain in Colorado, a moment that became symbolic of reclaiming his voice, identity, and future.Today, Dixon helps individuals, leaders, and organizations recognize the signs of disengagement and reconnect with meaningful action, ownership, and authentic living. He is the author of Hold My Beer: I'm Going Back in the Game.Together, we explore:why so many men silently struggle in midlifethe emotional cost of always playing the provider or superhero rolewhat Dixon calls the “Man-Zombie Epidemic”the importance of challenge, adventure, and authentic livingand how reconnecting with yourself can completely change your lifeThis episode is deeply honest, inspiring, and relevant for anyone who has ever felt disconnected from themselves or stuck living a life that no longer fits.Find Dixon Here:gowithdixon.com/facebook.com/DixonColoradoRealtorlinkedin.com/in/briandixonstoryteller/youtube.com/@LiveWhereYouPlayTVBook:Hold My Beer: I'm Going Back In The Game -  https://gowithdixon.com/#container16Find Marisa online:Website: https://drmarisaleenaismith.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmarisaleenaismith/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisaleenaismith/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marisa.lee.12YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@avoiceandbeyond3519/videosResources:MLN Coaching Program: https://drmarisaleenaismith.com/mentoring/Schedule a Free Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/info-56015/discovery Gratitude Journal: https://drmarisaleenaismith.com/product/in-gratitude-my-daily-self-journal/Download your eBook: Thriving in a Creative Industry: https://drmarisaleenaismith.com/product/ebook-thriving-in-a-creative-industry-dr-marisa-lee-naismith/Like this episode? Please leave a review here - even one sentence helps! ...

7:48 - When are we indwelt by the Holy Spirit? / 17:11 - My son committed suicide but was never publicly Christian, was he saved? / 30:14 - Prayer request for financial situation. / 34:09 - Are all religions one? / 47:04 - The man who was preaching about Jesus without the Holy Spirit, how do we explain him? / 53:52 - Who will be in the millenial reign?

Daily broadcast of Everyman Radio for 06/12/2026.

2:30 - Isaiah 66:24, is this war mentioned about the Millenial kingdom? / 11:39 - Why are we following ceasefires in war if the purpose is to eliminate evil regimes? / 23:50 - Is the Gog and Magog war after the Millenial reign? / 34:49 - How can I help a friend who has been scammed for tens of thousands of dollars? / 41:43 - Should we really support Israel? / 49:12 - What are our glorified bodies like?

3:30 - Will our bodies be raptured with our spirits? / 16:59 - Are tattoos a sin? / 24:31 - Where did Passover fall on the calendar? / 34:58 - Do Muslims and Jews worship the same God we do? / 38:14 - What do we do with the apocryphal gospels? / 51:06 - Is it wrong for me to sue over a misdiagnosis that pushed back my cancer treatments by 18 months?

Twenty years after she was locked away for taking a hatchet to her own sister, fragile Ann Pettigrew comes home obsessed with one desire — and on a storm-lit night, with candles burning and a circle drawn on the floor, she works a forbidden rite to summon back the only man she ever loved, no matter what comes walking up the veranda steps to answer.Look for this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Amazon Music, Pandora, TuneIn Radio, and other podcast apps. Get a list of free listening apps here: https://weirddarkness.tiny.us/OTRCHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS (All Times Approximate)…00:00:00.000 = Show Open00:01:30.028 = CBS Radio Mystery Theater, “A Model Murderer” (January 17, 1978) ***WD00:47:24.875 = The Strange Dr. Weird, “Survival Of The Fittest” (January 23, 1945) ***WD00:59:08.508 = The Eleventh Hour, “Black Magic” (ADU)01:23:55.381 = Escape, “The Drums of the Fore And Aft” (July 14, 1949)01:53:55.440 = Everyman's Theater, “Cat Wife” (January 18, 1940)02:22:54.327 = Murder By Experts, “Murder By Prescription” (July 11, 1949)02:53:20.176 = Exploring Tomorrow, “Hunting Lodge, aka Trouble With Robots” (May 28, 1958) ***WD03:12:48.537 = Faces In The Window, “Lightning Rod Man” (January 17, 1953) ***WD (LQ)03:37:34.837 = Dark Fantasy, “Letter From Yesterday” (May 01, 1942) ***WD04:01:41.360 = BBC Fear on 4, “The Yellow Wallpaper” (December 27, 1990) ***WD04:31:41.320 = Future Tense, “The Defenders” (May 28, 1974) ***WD04:57:56.341 = Show Close(ADU) = Air Date Unknown(LQ) = Low Quality***WD = Remastered, edited, or cleaned up by Weird Darkness to make the episode more listenable. Audio may not be pristine, but it will be better than the original file which may have been unusable or more difficult to hear without editing.CUSTOM WEBPAGE: https://weirddarkness.com/WDRR0685

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ shares that when you “delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). God places His desires within you and brings them to fruition in His timing. I just attended Every Man's Battle, and my biggest takeaway is that I need to connect with God, myself, and other people. One practical way I'm doing that is through journaling. My therapist asked me to send her screenshots of some songs I've written, and she said she could use AI to help complete them. Should I share unfinished personal work? Why would she want AI to finish something for me? In 2023, I attended Every Man's Battle because my fiancée confronted me. I’m from Guyana and so grateful. How does God view my ex-husband? During a very difficult season 6 years ago, he had an affair, eventually married the woman he was involved with, and they're very happy. I was married for nearly 20 years and have been divorced for two years. I discovered that my ex-husband behaved inappropriately with my young niece, and now he has remarried. Should I warn his new wife?

4:35 - Do demons know what we're thinking? Should be worried about praying out loud? / 13:08 - Why did Jonah not want to go to Ninevah, was there a prophecy about it? / 23:06 - What is the proper way to tithe? / 39:58 - Do you need to be a member of a church to serve in leadership in the church? / 51:01 - Who are the 24 elders in Revelation?

8:30 - Can you explain Leviticus 14:33-44, why did God talk to Moses as if he would enter Cannan? / 13:59 - Praise report and follow up on establishing a Christian club at the local school. / 17:32 - What does it mean to work out your salvation with fear and trembling? / 33:51 - How did Abraham lose his land? / 42:26 - What guidance can you give my church in the search for a new pastor? / 48:58 - Do martyrs go somewhere other than Heaven when they die?

14:43 - Can someone be saved on their deathbed? / 22:14 - Can a person be re-possessed after having a demon driven out? / 38:12 - What is the land of Shriner, is that America? / 43:05 - What is the evil spirit from the Lord?

In this episode, we break down the three major decisions every man must make: who he submits his life to, what his purpose is, and who his wife will be. These choices determine a man's direction, discipline, relationships, and legacy.We explore each decision through three perspectives:Why the decision mattersThe cost of making the decisionWhat happens when a man refuses to decideBecause staying undecided often creates confusion, drift, and instability.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeThis conversation is for men seeking clarity, purpose, faith, leadership, and intentional growth.Why submission and spiritual foundation matter for menHow purpose shapes identity and disciplineWhy choosing the right wife affects your future deeplyThe cost that comes with meaningful decisionsThe danger of drifting through life without directionHow intentional decisions shape a man's legacyWhy growth requires sacrifice and commitmentWho This Episode Is ForMen searching for purpose and directionMen focused on faith and spiritual growthMen preparing for marriage and leadershipMen committed to self-improvementYoung men building identity and discipline

16:38 - Testimony of a demon encountered in childhood. / 23:47 - What does the parable of the unjust steward means? / 36:58 - Can angels and demons be female? / 42:00 - Prayer request for serious health condition. / 46:54 - Testimony. / 51:11 - Why does Jesus say, "Do you not know you are gods?"

9:30 - Prayer request for an important business meeting? / 10:40 - God has helped me through alcohol recovery, what do I do now? / 18:17 - Is the church the remnant of Israel? / 30:18 - When did the Sabbath change to Sunday and why? / 49:21 - Are Christians going to go through the tribulation, and does Jesus come back three times?

Get Tickets to Act Like Men 2026 - actlikemen2026.comWhat happens when the people who know you best can't say you're a man worth following?In this episode of The Pursuit, James Griffin, Carlos Fernandez, and Ansley Huckaby dive into Acts 6 and the three qualifications the early church looked for when selecting men to lead: character, competency, and consecration. The conversation gets personal fast as the team unpacks why integrity starts at home, why your wife and kids shouldn't have to guess which version of you is walking through the door, and why being a "good guy" without God is impossible. The team also tackles the loneliness epidemic among men, why most guys can talk about anything except their relationship with the Lord, and what it actually looks like to stop trying harder and start bowing lower. If you have been coasting on reputation instead of living with real integrity, this episode is your wake-up call.Subscribe for more messages and conversations that will help you know and follow Jesus.Episode GuideThese guides are packed with key insights and scripture to help you know and follow Jesus – https://mycpcc.com/guideTo submit a question, send us a DM on Instagram or Facebook.Crosspoint City Church exists to relentlessly pursue those far from God to help them know and follow Jesus.To help support this mission and work, visit https://www.mycpcc.com/giveTo learn more about all of our locations or what is coming up at Crosspoint City, check out https://www.crosspointcity.com/ or follow us on your favorite social platform @CrosspointCity

This episode was sponsored by Cardiff & Damon Friedman of SOF Missions   LightSpeed VT: https://www.lightspeedvt.com/ Dropping Bombs Podcast: https://www.droppingbombs.com/ Today's Dropping Bombs episode delivers battlefield-forged leadership wisdom with Dr. Damon Friedman — retired Air Force Special Operations Lt. Colonel, three-time Bronze Star recipient, and founder of SOF Missions, a nonprofit fighting the veteran suicide epidemic killing 20+ Americans a day.   From juvenile delinquent in South LA to elite special warfare officer with four combat deployments, Dr. Friedman breaks down why comfort is a disease, the one character trait that kills more companies than bad strategy, and the leadership lessons most CEOs will never learn unless they've operated where failure means death — not a bad quarter.   Twenty veterans will take their lives today. Dr. Friedman has made it his mission to stop that — and this conversation is part of how. Buy the book, share the episode, support the mission.     

Most men think erectile dysfunction is a bedroom problem. It's actually one of the earliest warning signs of cardiovascular disease, capable of showing up three to five years before a heart attack.In this episode, Dr. Gabrielle Lyon sits down with Dr. Amy Pearlman, a urologist trained in men's sexual health, to discuss:Why ED is a symptom of vascular health, not a standalone disease and how the artery feeding the heart is roughly double the size of the one feeding the penis, so problems show up "down there" firstWhy "normal" testosterone can be meaningless, and the questions to ask before accepting a lab result that didn't flagHow daily erections preserve penile tissue the way water keeps a sponge supple and why disuse can cost noticeable size over just a few monthsThat cardiovascular exercise can rival ED medication for improving erectile function, making your heart health the real fixHow to track erectile fitness before there's a problem, instead of waiting until something breaksBy the end, you'll understand the single signal your body uses to flag heart and metabolic risk early and the simple, mostly drug-free steps that protect both your cardiovascular health and your sexual function for life.Thank you to our sponsors:Manukora - Go to https://bit.ly/3RCMrKx to save 31% plus $25 worth of free gifts.Timeline - Get 20% off your Mitopure order at https://bit.ly/4dW6BGNBon Charge - Save 15% at https://bit.ly/433Xi2B with code DRLYONExplore More from Dr. Gabrielle LyonPremium Podcast Subscription: Ad-free episodes, key takeaway summaries, exclusive Q&A, and behind-the-scenes content https://foreverstrong.supercast.comWeekly newsletter: Recipes, podcast updates, and practical weekly insights https://drgabriellelyon.com/sign-up/Apply to become a patient: Personalized care with Dr. Lyon's clinical team https://drgabriellelyon.com/new-patient-inquiry/Listen to "Pearls of Wisdom" on all your favorite platforms!Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4uOhWn5DeVXO7D2ppa0RoVApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pearls-of-wisdom/id1617916659Find Dr. Amy Pearlman at:Website: https://www.primeinstitute.us/YouTube: https://youtube.com/@docamyurology?si=oJ2LZ_sxMPYTaK41Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amypearlmanmd/X: https://x.com/AmyPearlman1LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-pearlman-54a2b0208Connect with Dr. Gabrielle Lyon:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgabriellelyon/TikTok: @drgabriellelyonX (Twitter): https://x.com/drgabriellelyonFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/doctorgabriellelyonTimestamps00:00 - Introduction01:25 - Erections predict cardiac events01:41 - The pen and artery analogy03:40 - No health milestones for men07:52 - Normal structure and function11:45 - The five S's of men's health21:24 - Why "normal" testosterone misleads25:00 - Testosterone and fertility risk31:05 - Steroids versus FDA-approved agents41:13 - The untreated 25-year-old43:56 - Sperm health and home testing52:02 - Peyronie's disease and injury1:01:34 - Protein, nutrition, supplements1:05:09 - Daily Cialis as a pre-workout1:13:32 - The sponge analogy1:15:31 - Erectile fitness tracking1:23:05 - The penis pump, used right1:27:24 - Restoring lost size1:35:00 - Traction and girth enhancement1:46:00 - Women's anatomy and pleasureIf you found this episode valuable, share it with someone who would benefit from it.Disclaimers: This episode includes paid sponsorships.The Dr. Gabrielle Lyon Podcast and YouTube are for general information purposes only and do not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast, YouTube, or materials linked from this podcast or YouTube is at the user's own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professional for any such conditions.

6:00 - Why did the Jalior have to get his whole house to believe? / 11:02 - Are there different degrees of punishment in hell? / 20:16 - What happens after the millenium? / 30:20 - Colossians 3:23-25, what is this revenge for? / 33:03 - What is the nature of free will, and does God have free will? / 45:48 - Is there more than one rapture? / 53:43 - What does the Greek Orthodox believe?

8:15 - My sister's estranged husband has recently re-entered her life and is trying to take possession of the house. What can she do? / 14:25 - James 4:2-3, is motive the most important part here? / 25:05 - If Jesus is supposed to be the new Ark of the Covenant, why could He be touched? / 35:22 - What is the status of the Johnson Amendment, and can churches talk about politics openly? / 42:36 - Is the whole world going to come against Israel?

A friendship gift from across the Iron Curtain rode into orbit with five American astronauts, and the only thing that came back was the teddy bear.Look for this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Amazon Music, Pandora, TuneIn Radio, and other podcast apps. Get a list of free listening apps here: https://weirddarkness.tiny.us/OTRCHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS (All Times Approximate)…00:00:00.000 = Show Open00:01:30.028 = CBS Radio Mystery Theater, “Teddy Bear” (November 30, 1977)00:44:19.048 = The Eleventh Hour, “The Bitter End” (1963-1965)01:09:54.163 = Escape, “The Fourth Man” (July 07, 1949)01:38:40.425 = Everyman's Theater, “This Precious Freedom” (October 04, 1940) ***WD02:05:55.966 = Murder By Experts, “Two Coffins To Fill” (July 04, 1949)02:35:22.121 = Exploring Tomorrow, “Time Traveller, aka Meddler's Moon” (May 21, 1958)02:53:02.191 = Faces In The Window, “Black Cat” (November 22, 1952) ***WD03:16:42.212 = Dark Fantasy, “Edge of Shadow” (April 10, 1942) ***WD03:41:21.216 = BBC Fear on 4, “The Beast With Five Fingers” (January 31, 1988)04:10:16.659 = Future Tense, “The Parade” (May 27, 1974) ***WD (LQ)04:36:17.087 = BBC Ghosts From The Past, “Black Stockings / Broken Mirrors” (April 08, 1992)05:19:57.526 = Show Close(ADU) = Air Date Unknown(LQ) = Low Quality***WD = Remastered, edited, or cleaned up by Weird Darkness to make the episode more listenable. Audio may not be pristine, but it will be better than the original file which may have been unusable or more difficult to hear without editing.CUSTOM WEBPAGE: https://weirddarkness.com/WDRR0675

Our latest guest is Kristin Scott Thomas, who joined Edith in front of an audience for our Soundtracking Film Club at Everyman Whiteley's to discuss her new film My Mother's Wedding - which she has co-written and directed, and also stars in. This is the first of our events in partnership with Range Rover, a brand synonymous with mastery in all its forms, championing those who push boundaries, define standards and create enduring impact. Both Soundtracking and Everyman align naturally with Range Rover's core principles relating to leadership, cultural authority and creative excellence, so we're absolutely thrilled they have chosen to support our podcast, which was recorded live in front of an audience following a screening of Kristin's film.

8:39 - How can I witness to a friend with 36 hours to live? / 15:47 - How can I prove that we haven't gone through the Millenial Reign yet? / 35:11 - Who are the powerful people trying to keep us from God? / 50:16 - What is the book Pastor Skinner recommended earlier?