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25 episodes with relational recovery
3 episodes with relational recovery
2 episodes with relational recovery
2 episodes with relational recovery
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the social impact of addiction.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the process of conflict resolution laid out in Matthew 18.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the role of trust in cultivating healthy relationships with those around us.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the relationship between loneliness and addiction.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the flipside of healthy relationships, including codependency and enmeshment.
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill of the Relational Recovery podcast discuss the concept of Transformation, how it's a central point for men going through The Refuge, and why we can only change ourselves, and not others.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the important of relationships with others, how they are truly a necessity in our lives, their role in recovery, and more.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of discovering and understanding your purpose, and how addiction can specifically rob you of that purpose.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, Wes Thompson and Austin Hill of The Refuge discuss the importance of time management, the fallacy of "needing more hours in the day", why it's important to plan and prioritize, and more.
In this episode from the Relational Recovery podcast archive, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of clarity in every aspect of life.
In this encore presentation from the Relational Recovery podcast archives, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the role of forgiveness in recovery.
In this encore presentation from the Relational Recovery podcast archives, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the concept of forgiveness and its role in recovery.
In this archive episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, host Wes Thompson is joined by Matt Hunnell, the Chief Development Officer for The Refuge. Matt discusses his faith, his journey from alcoholism to sobriety, and more.
With Christmas right around the corner, Wes Thompson and Austin Hill of the Relational Recovery podcast discuss Christmas and the Incarnation.
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill of the Relational Recovery podcast discuss the concept of discouragement and the role it plays in addiction and recovery.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the role of patience in recovery.
In the wake of the 2024 presidential election, many in the United States feel divided politically from those around them. In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss why it's particularly important for those in recovery to remain united in what can be a divisive time.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss anxiety within the context of scripture. What does Jesus say about the topic in Matthew 6?
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of letting go. Why is it important to let things go, and how do you know whether it's worth going through a painful experience for long-term benefit?
In this episode of The Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the concept of grace, and what it means to show each other grace in a Christian context.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss faith. What does it mean to have faith, and what does it mean to live a life of faith?
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the balance of forgiving others for wrong-doing, with not always having to trust them again fully.
Send us a Text Message.In this insightful episode of The Covenant Eyes Podcast, hosts Karen Potter and Rob Stoddard sit down with Michelle Mays, a licensed professional counselor and leading expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. Michelle, author of "The Betrayal Bind" and founder of the Center for Relational Recovery, shares her groundbreaking attachment-based model for helping betrayed spouses heal. Dive deep into the complexities of betrayal trauma, the role of the church in supporting the wounded, and the long-term process of recovery. Whether you're a therapist, pastor, or someone directly impacted by betrayal, this episode offers valuable insights and resources to help navigate the challenging journey of healing. Tune in to discover the compassionate strategies that are transforming the way we understand and treat betrayal trauma.Michelle's Website:https://michellemays.com/Braving Hope Coaching Program:https://michellemays.com/braving-hope-coaching-program/Try Covenant Eyes for FREE today!Use Promo Code: FreePodcast
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the role of trust in cultivating healthy relationships with those around us.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of taking an active role in making positive changes happen in your life.
In today's episode we discuss the challenges that come from having a strong desire for healthy connection when you are different paths of individual healing. We discuss strategies for surrendering what you cannot control and focusing on what is within your power. We highlight the empowerment that both spouses can experience as you embrace the responsibility of navigating your own healing. Thank you for tuning in to our podcast for couples healing from infidelity and betrayal. As certified coaches, we aim to provide support and guidance for those who decide to stay in their relationship. We offer valuable insights, empathy, and hope on the journey toward healing. Join us weekly for encouragement, skills, and expertise. Your hosts are Certified Relational Recovery Coaches specializing in Infidelity and Betrayal: Hali Roderick- TICC, PCC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM Candidate Read Hali's Bio Book with Hali Stephanie Hamby- MCLC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM Candidate Read Stephanie's Bio Book with Stephanie Email Stephanie: stephaniehambycoaching@gmail.com Contact us: info.choosingtostay@gmail.com Choosing To Stay Webinar: Join Hali as she teaches this monthly free webinar for those Choosing To Stay after infidelity and betrayal. Help. Her. Heal. for Men - Hali Roderick helps men learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Participants will receive weekly exercises and worksheets to help them gain the skills to begin healing a broken relationship. Empowerment After Betrayal for Men - Hali Roderick leads a betrayal trauma support group for men who have been betrayed where they can gain tools and resources to recover from betrayal trauma in a healthy way while being surrounded by a supportive community. Healing Hearts Couples Group - Stephanie Hamby leads Healing Hearts Live Group a supportive community for couples seeking healing after betrayal and infidelity, emphasizing the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy, offering practical tools, skills, and a nurturing community to navigate challenges and foster relational growth. Choose Renewal Group for women: Stephanie Hamby leads Choose Renewal: For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Our focus is on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out. This group aims to provide a safe, nurturing community where women can find support and guidance on their journey towards renewal. Healing Hearts Self-paced course: Written by Stephanie Hamby https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/healing-hearts-sp/ a 15-week course for couples healing from betrayal, emphasizing empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy while providing practical tools for relational growth. Each partner takes the self-paced course separately, with weekly lessons, journaling, and note-taking sections. More from Choose Recovery Services: Choose Healing - Betrayal Trauma support for women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hyper-vigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. Ask questions from our team of coaches at Choose Recovery Services who have been there. Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity, and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors. Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves. Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie. Connect with Choose Recovery on Instagram
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of self-control in our daily lives.
The concept of "willingness to be taught" is one of the 7 Principles of The Refuge. Based on the scripture II Timothy 2:2, it is a crucial piece of a man's transformation from addiction to freedom. In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of being willing to be taught.
In today's episode of Psych Talk I chat with Stephanie Lynn, a trauma & relational recovery coach, who is passionate about relational recovery and post-betrayal dating. Stephanie shares her own experience as a betrayed partner dealing with sex addiction and sexual fetishism of her ex-partner. Stephanie discusses what betrayal in a relationship may look like, what betrayal trauma is, and some symptoms of betrayal trauma, as well as warning signs that your partner may be betraying you. Stephanie discusses ways individuals can work through their betrayal and their betrayal trauma, as well as overcoming fears when it comes to post-betrayal dating. Connect with Stephanie: Website: www.coachstephanielynn.com IG: @coach_stephanie_lynn Connect with Me: Follow me on IG @jessicaleighphd Follow the podcast on IG @psych.talk.podcast Follow me on TikTok @jessicaleighphd Follow me on Youtube Follow me on Threads @jessicaleighphd Welcome to Group Therapy Podcast Join my Facebook community: Grow Through What You Go Through Ways to Work With Me: Mind Over Matter LGBTQ+ Affirming Masterclass Be a guest on my podcast Resources: Anti-Racism Resources LGBTQ+ Affirming Resources The Helping Professional's Guide to Boundary Setting Intro/Outro Music Life of Riley by Kevin MacLeod Music License
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the process of conflict resolution laid out in Matthew 18.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the relationship between anger and love, and the impact that has on us and our relationships with others.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, Wes Thompson and Austin Hill of The Refuge continue their conversation about forgiveness.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss the importance of clarity in every aspect of life.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, Wes Thompson and Austin Hill of The Refuge discuss the importance of time management, the fallacy of "needing more hours in the day", why it's important to plan and prioritize, and more.
What does the word courage mean to you? Hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss that and more in this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss mental health, and some simple questions you should be asking yourself.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, host Wes Thompson is joined by Matt Hunnell, the Chief Development Officer for The Refuge. Matt discusses his faith, his journey from alcoholism to sobriety, and more.
This week's episode is based on a listener's request about how to recover from the betrayal of infidelity. Michelle Mays joins me to discuss cheating, the betrayal bind, and solutions for healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst, and she is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia outside of DC. In this episode, you'll hear about: Cheating and what makes sexual betrayal so devastating and problematic? (3:37) The betrayal bind is what happens when we experience betrayal at the hands of our most significant other. (8:08) Every betrayed partner goes through three specific injuries. (16:08) The role of gaslighting when a partner is cheating (19:54) Michelle answers, “Can you actually heal from betrayal and cheating?” (28:08) “Your relationship may not be salvageable, but you can absolutely heal from betrayal and move into the rest of your life and thrive and flourish afterward.” AND “If you are trying to heal your relationship, that is possible. The deciding factor is whether you are both in it 100%.” (29:50) Resources from this episode: 1:1 Coaching with Andrea Michelle's website Michelle on Instagram Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I've compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/576 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, Wes Thompson hosts a solo show discussing the differences between unifying behaviors and divisive ones, and how they can impact both us and the people around us.
In this episode of the Relational Recovery podcast, hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill discuss what it means to have God at work in your life and the lives around you, especially for those in recovery.
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Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst, joins me for an in-depth conversation about healing from betrayal. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is also the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia, outside of DC. “Divorce is common, and cheating is common. Because they are common, it doesn't mean they're not tremendously significant and have enormous ramifications for our mental and physical health,” says Michelle. During our conversation, we discuss the importance of understanding what happened, explore betrayal through the lens of attachment systems, and unravel what happens to us when we experience this enormous injury. Featured topics include: A new attachment-based model for understanding the impacts of cheating in relationships (8:58) Some of the binds in relationships that we can get stuck in including the shame bind and relational binds (12:01) What gets in the way of leaving when we want or know we need to leave (35:43) Healing and repairing relationships: what it means to stay, and what it takes to repair the fractures betrayal has caused (45:02) The difference between rebuilding emotional connection and rebuilding sexual connection (50:21) Learn more about Michelle Mays: Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She's also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-234-healing-from-relationship-betrayal-with-michelle-mays/ Pre-order Kate's book “The D Word” Michelle's websiteMichelle's book, The Betrayal Bind Michelle on FacebookMichelle on InstagramMichelle on YouTube Facing Codependence, Pia Mellody Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist! Answer four easy questions and you'll get a curated list of podcast episodes to best support you as you navigate these tricky waters. I'll also help you identify where you currently stand on this journey, and what's ahead, with resources to help you move through this process with knowledge and grace. GET IT HERE DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
How can struggling couples develop and maintain healthy relationships overcoming even the most trying circumstances? What is Relational Recovery and why is it so important? Exploring the road to relationship wellness with couples counselor, Richard Long.
How can struggling couples develop and maintain healthy relationships overcoming even the most trying circumstances? What is Relational Recovery and why is it so important? Exploring the road to relationship wellness with couples counselor, Richard Long.
Recovery Recharged with Ellen Stewart: The Pushy Broad From The Bronx®
How can struggling couples develop and maintain healthy relationships overcoming even the most trying circumstances? What is Relational Recovery and why is it so important? Exploring the road to relationship wellness with couples counselor, Richard Long.
How can struggling couples develop and maintain healthy relationships overcoming even the most trying circumstances? What is Relational Recovery and why is it so important? Exploring the road to relationship wellness with couples counselor, Richard Long.
Recovery Recharged with Ellen Stewart: Pushy Broad From The Bronx®: Relational Recovery with Richard Long ,LCSW, M.DIV. How can struggling couples develop and maintain healthy relationships overcoming even the most trying circumstances? What is Relational Recovery and why is it so important? Exploring the road to relationship wellness with couples counselor, Richard Long. RICHARD “RICK” LONG Rick began a career in human services in 1975 working with troubled youth and families in the Juvenile Justice System. This led to a Master's Degree in Social Work and training in addictions and family. Rick's own recovery from alcoholism and multiple process addictions began in 1982 and has continued for the past 39 years. This has allowed Rick to integrate both a personal and a professional path that has led to opportunities to work in both public and private settings. Rick has been both Consultant and Clinical Director at Onsite Workshops in Tennessee since 1990 and has his own Private Practice at home in Pendleton, Indiana. In 2012 and at age 59-Rick returned back to academia and obtained his second Master's Degree=this time an M. Div from Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado. This has led to a significant shift in both perspective and in his “walk” with those who suffer from the disconnect of their heart and their basic goodness. Rick has developed both a skill set and a passion for working with Couples in “relational recovery” and brings an eclectic approach that has a particular sensitivity to those couples who struggle with addictions, codependency and betrayal. Rick is happily married to his wife Linda and has 3 children. He is a recent “rescue” owner of an 8 year old 90 lb. Labrador Retriever (named Bear) and is an owner of a “Pre-Loved” (Used) Vinyl Record Store in his hometown. Music, writing, service work with local food pantries and a good walk in the woods are
Recovery Recharged with Ellen Stewart: Pushy Broad From The Bronx®: Relational Recovery with Richard Long, LCSW, M.DIV. How can struggling couples develop and maintain healthy relationships overcoming even the most trying circumstances? What is Relational Recovery and why is it so important? Exploring the road to relationship wellness with couples counselor, Richard Long. RICHARD “RICK” LONG Rick began a career in human services in 1975 working with troubled youth and families in the Juvenile Justice System. This led to a Master's Degree in Social Work and training in addictions and family. Rick's own recovery from alcoholism and multiple process addictions began in 1982 and has continued for the past 39 years. This has allowed Rick to integrate both a personal and a professional path that has led to opportunities to work in both public and private settings. Rick has been both Consultant and Clinical Director at Onsite Workshops in Tennessee since 1990 and has his own Private Practice at home in Pendleton, Indiana. In 2012 and at age 59-Rick returned back to academia and obtained his second Master's Degree=this time an M. Div from Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado. This has led to a significant shift in both perspective and in his “walk” with those who suffer from the disconnect of their heart and their basic goodness. Rick has developed both a skill set and a passion for working with Couples in “relational recovery” and brings an eclectic approach that has a particular sensitivity to those couples who struggle with addictions, codependency and betrayal. Rick is happily married to his wife Linda and has 3 children. He is a recent “rescue” owner of an 8 year old 90 lb. Labrador Retriever (named Bear) and is an owner of a “Pre-Loved” (Used) Vinyl Record Store in his hometown. Music, writing, service work with local food pantries and a good walk in the woods are
Illuminate Podcast: Shining Light on the Darkness of Pornography
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting to stay with the person who betrayed you? Do you sometimes feel insecure and clingy in your relationships? This is a struggle for many adults who believe they shouldn't need other people when they're feeling insecure. In this episode, I'm joined by Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S for a discussion on why our attachment needs are not only normal, but essential for our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In this episode, we discuss: A brief overview of the science of attachment What our culture does to shame and criticize our natural attachments to each other. How this shaming is harmful to our individual and collective wellbeing When dealing with betrayal, how cultural views of attachment make it tough for betrayed partners who choose to stay and work it out The balance between dependency and individuality How we can create balanced support for personal safety while honoring our attachment reflexes. Connect with Geoff Steurer: www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/ www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. Bio: Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery located in Northern VA, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S has over 20 years’ experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma and relationship issues. Michelle is the founder of PartnerHope, an online portal offering authentic hope and healing for betrayed partners through information, resources, tools, and connections with one another, subject experts and inspiring pathfinders. Michelle is the also the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Model and provides resources, training and support to therapists to help them deepen their skill set around facilitating disclosures. Michelle is the author of the books The Aftermath of Betrayal and When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal and is the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Manual and Workshop Kit. Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma and is in the process of completing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC. Links and resources: Center for Relational Recovery - www.relationalrecovery.com PartnerHope - www.partnerhope.com PartnerHope blog for betrayed partners - https://partnerhope.com/blog/ Braving Hope: Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story 12-week Online Coaching Program - https://partnerhope.com/braving-hope/ Hope After Betrayal Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners - https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal/
Illuminate Podcast: Shining Light on the Darkness of Pornography
I welcome Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S to the podcast where we discuss the importance of creating space for our emotions. In this episode, we discuss: Why emotions matter to our individual and relationship wellbeing Differences between how men and women are socialized to deal with feelings How our family patterns impact the way we deal with emotions Why too much emotion is often viewed as dangerous What we can do with ourselves, our partners, and our families to create more space for feelings How we can gather more support from others for allowing feelings Connect with Geoff Steurer: www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/ www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. Bio: Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery located in Northern VA, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S has over 20 years’ experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma and relationship issues. Michelle is the founder of PartnerHope, an online portal offering authentic hope and healing for betrayed partners through information, resources, tools, and connections with one another, subject experts and inspiring pathfinders. Michelle is the also the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Model and provides resources, training and support to therapists to help them deepen their skill set around facilitating disclosures. Michelle is the author of the books The Aftermath of Betrayal and When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal and is the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Manual and Workshop Kit. Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma and is in the process of completing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC. Links and resources: Center for Relational Recovery - www.relationalrecovery.com PartnerHope - www.partnerhope.com PartnerHope blog for betrayed partners - https://partnerhope.com/blog/ Braving Hope: Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story 12-week Online Coaching Program - https://partnerhope.com/braving-hope/ Hope After Betrayal Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners - https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal/
In this episode, Jackie interviews Michelle Mays about healing from betrayal trauma. Michelle founded the Center for Relational Recovery, a counseling and training center focused on providing leading-edge treatment to sex addicts, partners of sex addicts, trauma survivors, and those struggling with relationship issues. Michelle's work is grounded in the work that all change happens in relationship and that our attachment to others is both the most meaningful and at times the most challenging parts of our lives.
In this episode, Jackie interviews Michelle Mays about healing from betrayal trauma. Michelle founded the Center for Relational Recovery, a counseling and training center focused on providing leading-edge treatment to sex addicts, partners of sex addicts, trauma survivors, and those struggling with relationship issues. Michelle's work is grounded in the work that all change happens in relationship and that our attachment to others is both the most meaningful and at times the most challenging parts of our lives.
Michelle Mays is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery with offices both in Leesburg, VA, and Washington, DC., where she and her team deliver treatment to addicts and betrayed partners. Today’s topic covers how couples can overcome betrayal after infidelity and why it’s perfectly normal to have an attachment ambivalence pattern towards the person who has hurt you. Michelle dives in on some of the challenges couples face as they build the trust back up again and underlines why the hurt partner needs a support group to help them through this chaotic time in their life. TAKEAWAYS: [3:35] If a partner cheats on you, how do you define love after that? [8:00] Dealing with cheating is difficult because it presents itself as a unique type of trauma. You begin to experience an ‘I love you today’ and ‘I hate you tomorrow’ attitude. [9:35] Our brains give us two contradicting messages at the same time. One is to repair the damage so you can find safety again in your partner and the other is to run away. [16:55] Things might seem like everything is back on track in therapy, but it takes time for the hurt partner to not be reminded by the pain. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. [19:15] Love becomes a big question mark after infidelity. It is not a given. [20:25] If you’re going to cheat, tell your partner first. Do it in real-time, not after the fact. [23:20] Michelle explains the benefits of getting the betrayed partner into a support group. [29:20] The partner recovering from betrayal is left with a massive hole for which they can get their support. You need a safe base in this chaotic time in your life. RESOURCES: The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Partner Hope Center for Relational Recovery michellemays@relationalrecovery.com Dr. Barbara Steffens QUOTES: “The person you usually turn to for safety is now the person that has hurt you.” “People who have been cheated on experience attachment ambivalence. The word ambivalence means to feel two opposing things at exactly the same time.” “It starts to feel like when I’m in a safe space, I get hurt. Betrayal really takes the safety out of that.” “Cheat all you want, but ask your partner first. It’s the lying, it’s the disconnection in the relationship. This will kill a relationship.”
Welcome to today’s show! WHAT WE’LL LEARN: What is Connectfulness How getting in touch with your “root stock” is so important How to get in touch with your 100 year old self: an exercise Why breathing with one’s mouth open is an important reminder What is the practice of being seen How we’re taught at birth to put on blinders Recovery while in relationships and how those relationships may support the addiction Why most of us may be codependent at some point in our lives Why is relational recovery important When self-esteem is a problem: How we can shift from contempt to compassion Can one be lonely or can one inhabit solitude and be okay What are micro practices How to identify what brings us calm RESOURCES MENTIONED Brene’ Brown Pia Mellody Terry Real/Relational Life Living Women Who Run with The Wolves Connectfulness.com For more info, head over to atheistsinrecovery.com and subscribe to our email list. And thank you for listening! Leave an honest review on ITUNES. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one. Subscribe on ITUNES
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Catherine Etherington who will be talking about the Life Recovery Program recently launched by Naked Truth Project.. The Life Recovery Program is the "next step in support groups" bridging the gap from sovriety to rlational recovery within marriages and committed relationships.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Catherine Etherington who will be talking about the Life Recovery Program recently launched by Naked Truth Project.. The Life Recovery Program is the "next step in support groups" bridging the gap from sovriety to rlational recovery within marriages and committed relationships.
Tonight Carol the Coach will be interview Michelle Mays who wrote an ebook on what a partner should do once he/she discovers the sexual addiction. It is a guide that will help you navigate how to get through this crisis!
Michelle Mays joins the podcast to talk about how the model of working with partners of addicts, her own story of partner betrayal and how it fueled her to make a positive impact in the field, her complex betrayal trauma model, and how partners that have been cheated on finding their way to healing themselves and find peace again. Michelle runs PartnerHope site and has an amazing treatment center of her own, the Center for Relational Recovery. TAKEAWAYS: [1:25] Michelle Mays received her Masters in Counseling in 2001 in Seattle, Washington where she then opened a private practice. In 2005 she crossed the country and moved back to Northern Virginia where she opened a private practice in Leesburg. One of Michelle’s passions is to educate and train other counselors to become excellent providers of care and healing for clients. In 2011 Michelle founded the Center for Relational Recovery, a counseling and training center focused on providing leading-edge treatment to sex addicts, partners of sex addicts, trauma survivors, and those struggling with relationship issues. [2:45] Michelle herself was in a relationship with someone that was a sex addict, so she had her own journey dealing with the hurt and struggle of getting help. She found that many people didn’t understand addiction treatment, and they minimized her confusion, pain, anger and distress. [8:23] When betrayed partners come in reeling from the pain of infidelity, they are in the middle of an unfolding trauma. Michelle realizes that it is a very visceral response, and it’s important for the therapist to realize they are seeing people in the middle of a crisis. [11:23] It’s important for therapists to notice their own stress levels and deal with them appropriately rather than trying to lessen someone’s pain due to their own internal feelings of overwhelm to a strong and emotional reaction. [13:13] Grief counselors know that people are blaming themselves and feeling a lot of remorse. Rob’s experience is that partners coming in who have just been betrayed also are experiencing grief, and therefore remorse. [14:51] Michelle has developed a model for working with complex betrayal trauma, which looks at three different components that bleed together. Attachment trauma affects the way your attachment system has been impacted by the betrayal, and how the healthy bond has been disrupted and impacted. When things are traumatic in the relationship, it deregulates the partner rather than providing a sense of safety. Emotional and psychological trauma which are the result of being lied to and being manipulated in your perception of reality. This creates doubt and is most definitely a form of abuse. Rob says the intention of the cheater is not to hurt their partner, in fact, they are not thinking about the other partner's emotions at all. They are trying to cover their own tracks, without much thought to anyone else’s feelings. Sexual trauma ranges across the board and affects many facets of the partner’s identity and sexual confidence. [27:23] The betrayed partners must fully understand the depth of the betrayal, so they can know all the information, feel the pain and move on. Michelle says it takes at least a year for the betrayed partner to begin to feel like themselves again in the relationship. [27:48] When partners do detective work, they may find bits and pieces that hurt them more. It takes the other partner to sit down and tell them everything so they can get a full idea of what’s happening. [30:01] The more Michelle looks at research on attachment, the more she understands why such a high number of partners stay together after a betrayal. [30:30] On her website for betrayed partners, Partner Hope, Michelle has written about the shame that betrayed partners feel when deciding to stay. Our cultural story about leaving and never looking back is very different from the reality of what is happening. [33:11] At the Center for Relational Recovery, Michelle and her team treat the addict, partner and the relationship all at one time. RESOURCES Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Partner Hope Center for Relational Recovery michellemays@relationalrecovery.com QUOTES: “There’s this idea that if your partner cheats on you and you’re female, you have either done something or not done something. This causes partners to internalize and feel an enormous amount of shame.” “When you have a partner coming in to your office, there is no post for them, they are usually mid-trauma.” “When people pair up in long-term relationships, they actually become one biological unit. You truly become an organism together.” “Most addicts and cheaters are caught in a dilemma because they have competing attachments, their partner and the cheating or affair partner.” “If you can’t bear to be sexual with your partner, there is something seriously wrong.” “Detective work and sleuthing is a way to have control over an out of control situation.”
Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Michelle Mays who is the founder of a new website www.PartnerHope.com. This website will guide partners through the 6 stages of recovery and give strength, hope and recovery to partners who have been traumatized by their spouses addiction. Michelle is the founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery and helps individuals and couples navigate through the trauma cause by sex addiction.
Carol the Coach knows what damage Sexual Addiction can do to a relationship. To offset the damage she inteviews founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery in Leesburg Virginia, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT who has over 13 years experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, trauma and relationship issues. Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma. Michelle is sought out as a writer, trainer and speaker on sexual addiction, partners of sex addicts, the developmental model of trauma treatment, and relationship issues. In addition, she mentors and supervises upcoming therapists. Michelle will be talking about addiction as an attachment disorder (intimacy disorder) and the way in which addicts often attach to the substance or process they are using compulsively as a substitute for meaningful and consistent attachment in their relationships and the way that this is set up in childhood, and how recovery must address attachment and learning how to ‘do relationships’ if it is going to be successful long-term for the person.
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