Mocha Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs)

Ever wondered what it's like to transition from a sperm donor to the Chief Operations Officer of a leading cryobank? Join us in an eye-opening episode of Seeking Different as Dylan Morgan, COO of Cascade Cryobank, takes us through his personal and professional journey. We'll explore Cascade Cryobank's groundbreaking Early Identity Disclosure Program, which offers recipient families immediate access to donor identities upon reporting a live birth. Dylan shares the program's origins, the essential role of psychological assessments for donors, and their collaboration with mental health expert Melanie Michelson. This episode uncovers how this innovative approach aims to meet the mental health needs of donor-conceived individuals and their families, ensuring transparency and support.In another segment, we tackle the emotional and ethical complexities of being a sperm donor, including the lifelong implications and potential connections with donor-conceived children. Dylan recounts his own experiences and highlights the importance of open ID in fostering familial bonds. Stela's curiosity about her donor adds a heartfelt layer to our discussion, emphasizing the significance of heritage and identity. To lighten the mood, we dive into our shared passion for spicy foods, swapping amusing anecdotes about the hottest things we've ever tasted and even sharing some tips on making hot honey. This candid conversation promises to both educate and entertain, offering a rare glimpse into the world of sperm donation.Support the Show.

Remember the flutters of first crushes and the buzz of schoolyard whispers? Together with my daughter Estela, we take a heartfelt plunge into the world of tween crushes and the ensuing gossip that can feel like navigating a minefield. We swap stories, with Estela offering a peek into the pulse of today's tween experiences, rife with the excitement and anxiety of burgeoning attractions, as well as the sometimes harsh reality of gossip. Through laughter and a bit of cringing, we dissect how to manage the tender confessions of young hearts, proposing personal journals as a safe haven for those secrets not quite ready for the light of day.Ah, the rollercoaster of tweenage drama, where yesterday's crush could become today's mortification—believe me, I've been there. Recalling my own tales of awkward crushes, like the time I found myself bewildered by the Brazilian classmate I once admired from afar, I share how these experiences, complete with the perils of puberty and cruel jokes, shaped my understanding of the often strange dance of youthful attraction. We encourage embracing individual preferences without the sting of judgment and invite our listeners to join the conversation—because whether you're a parent navigating these waters with your child or simply reminiscing about your own squirm-worthy escapades, we're all in this together. Catch our candid discussions on Instagram at Seeking Different, and share your own journey through the laughs and the lessons of growing up.Support the show

Hera and Estela bring you a new episode - that explains why they've taken a bit of a hiatus. They've both been writing books! And Hera has just released her memoir, ten years in the making, that's both deeply personal and universally touching. "Defying Silence," her memoir, unveils the heart-wrenching journey of losing her son and the struggle against a justice system that let them down. Hera and Estela grapple with the profound impact of stories like this and how they foster connections, albeit with a mindfulness to shield the innocence of our younger listeners. Through the revelation of Hera's book, they contemplate the challenges of presenting mature themes while still engaging in meaningful conversations with those not yet ready to hear them, such as Estela herself.Switching lanes to advocacy, the episode intensifies as we discuss the indispensability of adult intervention in safeguarding children's rights and well-being. Recounting her own battles within the family court system, Hera emphasizes the urgency for reforms that truly put children first. They dissect the implications of not only hearing but believing the voices of the young in legal quandaries, and the profound necessity for systemic overhaul. The dialogue is a call to action, urging listeners to recognize the stories of struggle that too many face and to join the fight for a future where the next generation's battles are not as daunting as their own.Support the show

This is Part II of Donor Dylan's story.Picture this – you just found out you have 97 biological children. Baffled? So was our guest, Donor Dylan, when he discovered this shocking revelation due to sperm donation. In a heart-to-heart conversation, Dylan unravels his rollercoaster journey of having so many biological children. We dig into his initial reactions, the impact on his family, and how he's been dealing with the emotional maze of these complex relationships. Unraveling the darker side, we bring to light the ethical implications of sperm banks distributing to numerous families beyond the agreed limits and the necessity for tracking such information.Shifting gears, we touch upon the delicate issues surrounding communication and honesty within these donor-conceived families. How do these children perceive events like Father's Day? What are their experiences of interacting with donor siblings? Dylan shares his poignant instances of parting with the kids after visits and the importance of being open with them. To lighten the mood, we have an interesting segment where Dylan describes himself as a drink - a metaphorical peek into his personality. Join us as we delve into the intriguing world of non-traditional families, their unique challenges, and joys.Support the show

Ever wonder what it's like to walk into a sperm bank, answer some peculiar questions, donate, and then years later discover you have 97 biological children? That's exactly what happened to Donor Dylan, our guest in this riveting discussion. Dylan lets us into his journey of discovery, the shock of learning that he has a multitude of biological children, and the string of lies from the sperm bank that have shaped his life in unimaginable ways. We promise you a front row seat into the complex and often misunderstood world of sperm donation, as Dylan shares his quest to bring humanity into the business of creating humans. Dylan doesn't shy away from the uncomfortable bits. He talks about the antiquated laws that hinder gay men from donating, and the uncanny questions thrown his way at the sperm bank. We also tackle the controversial issue of donor anonymity and the weighty responsibilities Dylan grapples with as he navigates ties with numerous biological children. Equally important, Dylan shares his heartwarming experience of being discovered by a group of mothers he donated to, and the profound connections he's formed with his donor-conceived families. Brace yourself for an enlightening and emotive journey that will challenge your understanding of sperm donation and its far-reaching implications.Support the show

What happens when the feeling of belonging is put to the test? You're about to hear the tale of a Beyonce concert, a couple of extra guests, and an unexpected lesson in friendship and values. We laugh, we cringe, and we learn as we recount that night when we had to sit on the floor, shunned by a friend. Through this personal story, we want to make you reflect on fairness, true friendship and the values that define not just our friendships but who we are as people.Ever felt ‘othered' because of your hair texture or shade of Brown? Let's navigate the complex issue of race, specifically as it relates to differences in hair texture within the black community. We stitch together a piece of summer camp drama and a tale of historical trauma, offering you a nuanced understanding of what it means to be ‘othered'. Amid these stories and our shared experiences, we also celebrate the joy of the Beyonce concert and the valuable lessons we learned about friendship, inclusivity, and standing up for what's right. Trust us, you don't want to miss our journey!Kids Ask Dr. FriendtasticReal questions from kids about making & keeping friends answered by psychologist (5 min. )Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

This week we recap on the first week of school and discuss how kid social interactions have changed post pandemic (particularly for kids who were school aged during the height of it). Have you ever considered how remote learning impacted children's social skills? Picture this, a young student, fresh from a year of remote learning, navigating the trials and tribulations of the playground. We travel through this terrain on Seeking Different, delving into the intricacies of making friends in these "post pandemic" times. We examine the pressure kids feel to form friendships quickly upon their return to school and how playtime, a critical component of relationship-building, has changed due to the restrictions imposed by this pandemic.Now, let's shake it up and zoom in on family structures. Ever thought about the awkwardness a single parent might face in the PTA meetings or the innocent curiosity that comes from a child being raised in a diverse family structure? We face these queries head-on with candid conversations about single-parenting and diverse family structures that break the traditional mold. We share firsthand experiences, like the gaffe of a school principal assuming a random man as a mom's "better half" and a classmate's unique experience of having two moms. We stress the importance of acknowledging and accepting these myriad family structures and discuss how to best navigate conversations about family diversity with children. Join us for this powerful exploration of modern family life.Support the show

Remember the buzz of preparing for a new school year? Those summer play dates that were the perfect blend of fun and preparation for the upcoming educational journey? We, Hera and Estela, take you back to those times, sharing personal anecdotes as we navigate the world of play dates - the joy, the inclusion, and the potential challenges. We even touch on the exciting yet nerve-wracking process of transitioning from a carefree summer to a structured school year.Our conversation dives into the distinction between play dates held for kids starting a new school and parties during the year. We also share our insights about the pros and cons of hosting play dates at public venues versus at home. We discuss how to deal with mean kids and bullying, how to handle birthday party anxieties, and how to strike the balance between having a lively party and avoiding drama. Our regular special guest Isa adds a delightful touch, sharing her favorite play date activities from a 4 year old kid's perspective. Join us for a heartfelt and candid discussion that every parent, and child, can relate to!Support the show

In this episode, Hera and Estela discuss planning a non-traditional family adventure. Recorded while in Costa Rica, they walk through how to find lodging and flights as well as what a day at language immersion camp looks like at Explornatura Kids camp in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. In addition to the highlights like monkey sightings and surf, they discuss the low lights and things to avoid for a better travel experience. Support the show

In the second episode of Season two - Hera and Estela sit down to chat with Melissa Lindsey, the founder and director of The Donor Conceived Community (DCC). DCC provides peer support, education, and resources for people navigating donor conception and DNA discoveries. Melissa shares her story, why she started the organization, and some tips for both parents of Donor Conceived People as well as children who are Donor Conceived.  Support the show

In this episode, Hera and Estela review the new Barbie movie. They discuss the parallels between Barbie and real life as well as review the movie from the perspective of a mom and of a kid. Hera also breaks down the parts of the movie that were likely not meant for kids and Estela highlights the parts she understood more than her mom realized. 

In the first episode of season two, Hera and Estela and joined by little sister Isa as they give a quick summer camp recap and discuss the topic of consent. Hera explains to the girls how everything from touching hair to hugs and kisses are things that require permission. 

In the final episode of season one for Seeking Different, Hera and Estela sit down with Angela Stepancic (founder of Reproductive Village Cryobank) to discuss her plans to open the first Black owned cryobank that's specifically focused on helping Black families by sourcing Black donors. Angela talks through her journey to opening (coming summer 2023) to include why she was called to start this business, her thoughts around regulations in the sperm industry, and some of the things her bank is looking to do to revolutionize the way we think about sperm donation and improve access for Black families. 

In this episode, Estela dishes about what it was like becoming a big sister and Hera shares her thoughts on the differences between having one child as an SMC and having two. They also discuss how their family was built on top of the tragedy of losing Estela's brother and Hera's son Prince. 

In this episode, Hera and Estela discuss traveling as an SMC family to Cartagena, Colombia. Highlights include a scary bus incident in Playa Blanca and the incredible experience they had in the Afro-Colombian Village of Palenque. They share the highlights as well as some savvy tips for traveling with kids.

In this mini episode, Estela and Hera look back on the first season thus far to talk about favorite moments, things they learned, and Estela discusses how ignorance about non-traditional family can play out in the school setting. Isa makes an appearance at the end of the episode to give her definition of a donor as well as a hilarious look into the mind of a four year old. 

In this episode, Hera and Estela discuss recess and the playground where ALL the drama goes down. From navigating bullies to the evolution of kid conversations. The littlest McLeod - Isa - also makes a special appearance in this episode and reveals her understanding of "donor" as well as her feelings about heroes and Orange Juice. 

In this episode of Seeking Different, Hera and Estela interview Lara McLeod (Hera's sister) and discuss the importance of having a village. Being a parent is hard no matter what type of family you have, and having a strong village to help raise your children is critical to family health. Lara, affectionately known as "Tia", discusses how she felt about Hera using a donor to become a mom, what being an aunt has been like for her, her feelings on family dynamics, and how being an aunt has influenced her views on parenting as a whole. 

In this episode of "Seeking Different", Hera and Estela interview Mom Denise and her Son Sawyer. Sawyer explains how he feels his family is "normal" in their progressive town in the suburbs of Tampa, Florida. They also discuss what it's like to move between two parental homes, favorite books, and a love affair with Boba Tea. 

It was Independent School Decisions week in the DMV this past week and our house is all a buzz! In this episode of Seeking Different, Hera and Estela discuss what goes into deciding on a school and give an inside look from a kid's perspective of the admissions process - from "the buddy" to the on site testing to choosing the best school.

In this episode of Seeking Different, Hera and Estela interview mother Abigail from The Podcast "The Judgement Free Zone" and her child Kenley "KG". They candidly discuss what it's like to have a blended family, divorce, and gender identity. Kenley is one of the bravest children we've met, and breaks down what's like to be born in a girl body but feeling very much like a boy.

"Mama, where do babies come from?" Is this a question you've had your kids ask and don't even know where to begin? Is your child donor conceived and this question feels even more complicated as a result? We are here to help you sort through how to explain embryo creation to a child. Estela and Hera ask Alease Barnes (also known as Alease The Embryologist) about her career, what it's like being one of the only Black Embryologists in her field, and "technically" how babies are made. 

We wish Black History Month could be all year long, but this Black History Month we'd like to share our thoughts on some of the current events - Like Ron DeSantis trying to whitewash history and the things we wish schools would teach as it relates to Black History. Estela learns about Critical Race theory and a bit about how the American government really felt about MLK Jr. while he was alive. Estela talks about her favorite lessor known icons from Black History and interesting things she's learned about her own family history - like pee covered soda cans and the KKK bombing Grandpa's house.

In this episode of Seeking Different, Hera and Estela chat with Asher, Ari, and Mom Leah of the Pryor-Lease Family (a two Mom Family). Asher and Ari are twins and two of Estela's donor siblings. The kids chat about what it's like to tell people you don't have a Dad, the cool things about their family, and navigating school as a non-traditional family. 

On the first episode of Seeking Different, co-hosts Hera and Estela give a brief intro about why the show is called Seeking Different, a little about the family, what you can expect from the show, and leave you with their top tried and true travel tips.

Former Mocha SMC Co-Host Hera teams up with her precocious nine year old daughter Estela in the new Podcast, "Seeking Different". They explore what it looks like to navigate the world as a non-traditional family. This mother and daughter duo will discuss hot topics such as donor sibling relationships, family travel, school choice, race relations, and navigating the playground. Follow @ Seeking Different on social media, Subscribe to our podcast "Seeking Different", and stay tuned for our first episode launching on January 31, 2023. 

As single mothers by choice we get to make many of the decisions for our children, up to a certain point.  At the point when their personalities and their individual needs emerge many of us learn that the one size fits all approach that we grew up with will not work with our children.  We've had to adjust parenting styles and even to our support village so that we can safely and consistently parent the child in front of us.  

In this episode, the Mocha SMCs answer questions such as: should I move to be closer to my family, how do I start planning for a will, and what should I put on my child's birth certificate. They also get real about whether you can work and be home full time with your child.

In this episode of the Mocha Single Mothers by Choice, the Mocha SMCs discuss DNA discovery, relationships with donor siblings, and how to talk about your conception story with your children and others in your life. 

In this episode, the Mocha SMCs debrief what they heard in the twins episode - spending time discussing the realities of high risk pregnancies, childcare cost, and always making decisions thinking about how your future child might feel about the decision you are about to make.

In this episode, Aisha and Hera welcome two special guests (twin Moms Toja and Carla). Toja is a Mocha SMC who is actively parenting 7 year old twins and Carla is a Mocha SMC who just welcomed twins three months ago. Carla also has a four year old son. This episode covers what its like to carry twins in pregnancy, twin births, and the things that surprised and challenged these moms. While twins are often unplanned, if you think you want twins - listen to this episode first and you might change your mind on that. 

In this episode, Aisha and Hera chat with two Mocha SMCs (Erica and Kimberly) who are now in committed romantic relationships. They discuss what it's like blending families after becoming SMCs and navigating things like - introducing your partner to the children, to marry or not to marry, who will he or she be to the children, and more.

The Mocha SMCs explain what it means to "choose your hard" by breaking down the pros and cons of SMC life. From navigating respectability politics to coping with the topic of "baby daddy". They also discuss why this path might be more appealing to many women than the traditional two parent household.

In this Mocha SMC travel episode of season 4, the Mocha SMCs discuss more tips for traveling with babies and the differences they've seen traveling with their school aged children. They chat about summer travel and what its been like post pandemic with fewer airport staff and flight delays.

In this week's episode, the Mocha SMCs discuss the topic of biracial babies. With limited Black sperm, Black women specifically are often faced with the decision of whether to choose a donor outside of their race. Aisha and Hera discuss what this decision was for them as well as what women should consider when choosing a donor outside of their race from micro-aggressions and othering to what you might tell your children when they ask why you've made the decision. 

In this week's episode, the Mocha SMCs discuss the realities of living life as an SMC, what that means to us, and how integrity is woven throughout the SMC narrative. Aisha and Hera chat about what it's like to grapple with what to tell your friends and family and how to explain to complete strangers that there is no baby daddy. 

In this episode of the Mocha SMC Podcast, your Mocha SMCs catch you up on how things have been this summer and how they get the kids ready for the start of school. Highlights are the "kiss and ride", which is how Aisha refers to the carpool lane and hilarious anecdotes about the kids "tucking and rolling" out of the car and what kids look forward to as the hottest new thing to wear on the first day of school.

In the season 3 finale, the Mocha SMCs chat about school challenges, the impact of the pandemic on toddlers and school aged children, plans for the summer, and the importance of therapy.

This week on The Mocha SMC Podcast, Aisha and Hera chat with SMC Abby who donated one of her embryos to a friend of a friend. They discuss the emotional journey she went through, her current relationship with the recipient and her child, as well as the costs associated with the donation (which the recipient typically pays). 

This is the second of the two part series on parenting tweens. Jennifer, Joy, and Yana join us again to discuss the topics of "content", "dating", and advice for new moms.

This week the Mocha SMCs speak with three Mocha SMCs from the Mocha community who are parenting tweens: Joy, Jennifer, and Yana. We discuss schooling, community, allowing independence, and talking about puberty and sex with your pre teen. 

The Mocha SMCs chat with Michelle, a Mocha SMC and American foreign service officer, who is raising her seven year old son in Africa. The episode tackles how and why Michelle made the decision to raise her son abroad, the logistics of living outside of your country of origin and some tips for other SMCs looking to exit the United States in search of adventure or in the hopes of raising a global citizen. 

In this episode, the Mocha SMCs provide an update on the last few weeks and discuss topics such as changing covid protocol in schools, dating, the Black sperm shortage, and handling the awkward conversations from school parents when they ask "Where's the Daddy".

This week the Mocha SMCs speak with Mocha SMC Domonique who is both an egg donor and a new mom herself. Domonique describes what it was like to donate eggs in her 20s while she was in school, how this has impacted her feelings on being an SMC herself, and her thoughts on contact in the future from the children conceived with her donor eggs.

On this weeks episode, the Mocha SMCs discuss what Black History Month means to them and their families. Additionally, the Mocha SMCs discuss appropriation and how this played out historically, in modern day - in both the work place and in the SMC spaces. 

On today's episode of the podcast, the Mocha SMCs talk with boy moms Toja and Toni about topics such as gender anxiety, potty training, community, the barber shop, and raising Black boys in a post George Floyd era. 

In this episode, the Mocha SMCs break down what self care looks like after you've had a baby and how it might differ from when you didn't have children. They discuss things like - how to fit in fitness and setting healthy boundaries with friends, family, and work. 

In this episode, the Mocha SMCs discuss what happened over the holiday season and dive into the topics:1. How to tell your friends and family you want to be an SMC.2. When is a good time (if age isn't a factor) to TTC?3. How to deal with Father's Day events at school.

The Mocha SMCs are bringing you a special holiday episode where we talk about what it's like for SMCs around the holidays. We give tips and tricks to holiday survival to include where and how to hide gifts, how to handle the elf on the shelf, and what to do with TTC disappointment during the holiday season. Make sure your kids aren't around when listening because we discuss Santa and the Elf!

In the final episode of season two, the Mocha SMCs break down by representation matters. They discuss their favorite television shows and how the conscious choice of media consumption plays into their parenting. Walk away with a solid list of shows that affirm Blackness for children as well as make you feel good watching as an adult.

In the second to last episode for season two, the Mocha SMCs catch you up on what's been happening in their lives. They discuss topics such as how to get past anxiety about getting a sitter during the pandemic (so you can do adult things), traveling during the pandemic, toddler pandemic anxiety, the Single Mother's by Choice Conference, and a few hot topics that have been circulating the community.