Sadistically Speaking

There has been a lot of recent debate on allowing Trans-Women to play in Women's sports.  Most of the debate has been boring.  But one point that is rarely raised is that biological women have a lot of barriers to training for elite levels in sports - not the least of which is that their bodies change drastically as they age, during the menstrual cycle and as a result of pregnancy.  Trans-women get to avoid these issues and that is a strong argument to me why they should not be allowed to compete in women's sports.  Also, everyone use the word "tallywacker" more often but avoid displaying them in public settings.  #RapinoeSucks.

One of the major arguments for banning of assault rifles is that they are not useful for hunting are designed to kill people....but that is exactly the kind of weapon that is protected by the second amendment.  There is not a constitutional right to hunt animals, but there is a right to kill humans who want to impinge on your rights.  Guns suck but people are worse.  Also, what is your favorite Nickleback song?  Or...can you name a Nickleback song?  #FuckProhibition

You are more likely to die from suicide than be murdered.  Why don't we discuss this more?  Because it is impolite I guess but that is what I do best....be impolite.  The statistics on suicide are enlightening and frightening.  Also, What the fuck is happening in Lesotho? #TeamDaphne

CNN and Fox News headlines about February inflation numbers seem to be in direct conflict.  Well, they chose different numbers and so they are both right and both pieces of shit.  In this case, Fox chose the more reasonable straight-forward numbers and CNN chose convoluted numbers I still don't understand.  But they made the opposite choices during the Trump presidency because they are manipulative bitches.  Also, don't try an impromptu Julie Andrews impression while drinking tequila.  #SchoolhouseRock

There are some movies that present themselves as commentaries on the historical problem of white colonization that actually backfire and seem to glorify white men.  These movies often have white saviors and I think they are made to allow white people to feel good about their current moral outrage than to really tackle the issues involved.  I am not trying to race-bait here, I just think it is funny how hypocritical the morons are who write these movies.  Also, the word shlub isn't used enough...I correct that error.  #FernGullyForever

"All Quiet On The Western Front" is another in a log line of movies showing us the horrors of war at the level of the individual soldier.  We love these kinds of movies!  They allow us to feel compassion and righteous anger about the meaningless nature of warfare.....until it is time for us to support sending more bullets and tanks and drones to Ukraine.  I hope that we can repress our memories of supporting this war by the time the Ukranian war version of this movie is made. Also, Yes I know Geezer Butler wrote War Pigs lyrics....but it isn't as funny!!!!!#OzzyForPresident

There is a lot of discussion of the "whitewashing" of history in American schools but that hasn't been my experience.  Most Americans don't know shit about American or world history - but they all know about slavery, Jim Crow Laws and segregation....even if they can't name more than 3 presidents.  More history lessons is not the answer to racial divides.  We could start having better dialogues if we get rid of the useless virtue signaling that goes along with Black History Month. #CrispyButtocks

I am a prolific crier.  But what purpose does crying serve?  It appears to be a universal human activity that is specifically human...but it is difficult to come up with a compelling evolutionary explanation for its ubiquity.  Interesting....or maybe I am just trying to divert attention from me being a bitch.  Also, Fuck you Tom Brady. #Mr.Kitty

The Star Spangled Banner is an awful national anthem for the US.  it is a mediocre poem put to a tune ripped off from a British song-writer.  It is time for an update that really reflects who we are and what we ant to sing at sporting events. Bring on the American Hair Bands!  Also, did you realize the band Cinderella was a Philly band?  I always thought they were from Europe.  #PunctuationRules

Everyone distrusts the news media today....but we never really did and that is a good thing.  The evil media mogul distorting our thoughts is even more time-honored than the evil scientist (though Fauci is bringing it back with a vengeance).  What we need is fewer fact checkers and more open debate.  Bring me a Tucker Carlson - Anderson Cooper Cage Match!! #SoLongStelter

Ronald Dion DeSantis was king of the world during the pandemic....but he has become another brain-dead politician in the aftermath.  There is no such thing as a conscientious conservative anymore.  Also, someone needs to be able to forge my mother's signature so I can get into the Karen Klub.  #KnifeWieldingExes

Recent viral videos of children at Drag shows has resulted in a cultural war issue.  I agree.  Get kids out of Drag shows....because it is ruining the joy of Drag. Drag is supposed to be sexual, counter-culture, liberating and a little naughty....don't let the white women ruin this too!!!  #TheBuckinghams

The DMZ is one of the most demeaning and depressing experiences in existence.  It is the best argument against allowing the government to run any service.  Also, we should have red flag laws to rescind driver's Licenses #PrimusSucks

Humans cannot understand probabilities and real data and instead rely on their own brain and experience.  Note the recent suggestions that mass shooters are overwhelmingly white and that these shooters should be caught ahead of time because they so clearly fit the description.  This kind of post hoc and non-data driven crap reinforces itself and becomes doctrine.  This is the definition of Fake News.  Also, what is the half-life of memory for mass-shootings?  3 months?  #WaukashaParadeShooting

My local school district tried to mandate see-through backpacks for kids in middle and high school.  This is another example of inefficient and potentially dangerous mandates in the name of safety.  But all of these mandates make us feel less safe and anxious.  Also, the TSA needs to pack up their crap in a small appropriate sized plastic bag and go away. #PeopleIdentifyingAsMaleSansChapeau

All of the responses to the overturning of Roe v Wade have been superficial and annoying.  The fact is that the abortion laws in the United States will look more like the patchwork of laws in the European Union and in some states will be far less restrictive.  But that doesn't stop morons like Emmanuel Macron and Billie Joe Holiday from taking shots at the ol' US of A.  Also, I decided on a Beatles reference for the title over a much more graphic one from the Sex Pistols.  #Bodies

A quick sampling of TV commercials (or commercials on YouTube) demonstrates that minorities and especially blacks are well represented.  And by "well" I actually mean over represented.  The demographics of commercials do not reflect the demographics of our country.  This is not Wokeism in the country run AMOK but a sign that we aren't really as racist as we are often painted. Also, it is a sign businesses love rich white people.  #MovingOnUp

This is a little dialogue between Saint Peter and a newly dead semi-devout Christian at the pearly gates.  Turns out that we are imperfect....and that's a good thing.  Also, Saint Peter can be a bit of a prick. #ImagineTheresNoJohnLennon

The unanimity of the voices supporting a continuing war in Ukraine is deafening.  What happened to the peaceniks and the MAGA isolationists?  They apparently have been won over by CNN, Fox and the questionably sexy Zelenskyyii+.  Also,  why is the Depp-Heard trial off this week so that I have to be exposed to more war coverage? #69

So, what would a reasonable compromise on abortion look like?  Let's go for Legal, safe and rare.  Will it work?  Not a fucking chance.  #NakedGun

The impending overturn of Roe v. Wade has resulted in a lot of noise and not much rational discussion.  Whether people are pro or anti abortion rights (or like most people are in between), they seem to misunderstand what the Roe v. Wade decision actually was about, how it relates to abortion restrictions in other countries, and how federal government is structured.  A few fun facts are presented to enlighten or simply to outrage.  Also, this episode doesn't have nearly enough comedy or lighthearted snarkiness. #WTFSwitzerland

Yes, the war in Ukraine dominates the news media every night but the most important event of 2022 in the future is Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars.  We will recall it on our death beds.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Morally ambiguous events that everyone witnesses are important for defining our moral and intellectual foundations.  Wars are commonplace....Oscar Bitch Slaps are once in a lifetime.  Also, the fact that the Kardashian Dad was a lawyer for OJ suggests that God has a wonderful sense of story construction. #WeAreDevo

Russia Sucks and war sucks.  But the response of Americans has been shockingly hawkish.  There is no real nuance in the discussion of the causes and results of the war in Ukraine.  Time to put this all into perspective....or just send in Tom Cruise, The Rock, and Arnold to clean up the mess.  Also, credit goes to Lauren for the McDonald's riff.  #BradleyCopperSucks 

We were all subjected to the "Fact Versus Opinion" lesson in school.  However, this lesson was meaningless because all stated facts are expressions of opinions and no stated facts can be considered unassailable.  Worse, this dumb distinction dismisses most types of true discussion because we aren't allowed to debate someone's opinion.  Also, some people without assholes retain the right to have opinions.  #BTSsucks

The history of the world has demonstrated that groups with negligible differences can hate each other and cause death and misery.  This is a result of our evolved tendency to positively evaluate those who belong to the same groups as us and negatively value people outside our groups.  Unfortunately, this evolved trait works even when the groups are clearly arbitrary.  This allows us to be rabid sports fans but also vengeful political partisans.  Also, the Chicago Bears and their fans are despicable unholy creatures.  #FIBs

People use a lot of common phrases without thinking and as a result say some pretty illogical and stupid things.  But the one of the worst common phrases is the supposed definition of Insanity often attributed to Einstein.  The fact that this quote is consciously repeated with pride and no reflection is as good of an indication as any that we are unthinking creatures who mostly sniff the smells on our fingers. Also, why is Judas Priest Not In The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?  #ICouldCareLess

The reactions to the Rittenhouse verdict are saddening.  The right tries to make this mediocre human into a hero and the left decries him as a vicious villain.  It is disgusting to see people upset that he was not sacrificed so that we could show that the criminal justice system works against everyone equally.  Also, let's build a wall between Wisconsin and Illinois and make Illinois pay for it!  #NYGiantsSuck

Politics are as funny and illogical as ever.  Democrats decry higher gas prices despite the benefit it could have for climate change.  Republicans bemoan higher labor costs despite being the result of a free market system that has become more free.  Also, the hilarious childish reasons Democrats are giving tax breaks to rich people instituted by Trump. #LegoFrogPrince

Jury duty is awful.  Why not have a professional jury class make these decisions instead of dragging locals in to do this?  A very good reason is that locals know the culture and context of a defendant and are better judges of what is odd or questionable behavior.  Kyle Rittenhouse is a pretty typical Midwestern male teenager, but he is being judged in the media by people who often grew up as privileged East Coast pricks.  Their hypocrisy is mind-numbing.  Also, who the fuck let Michael Vick back into society? #JeffreyLoobin

Vaccines are amazing....but moronic rules by the NFL and government mandates are completely irrational.  Aaron Rodgers finally addressed his reasoning for not being vaccinated.  He said many dumb things but he also said a lot of thoughtful things.  Because the discussion IS complex and contextual and important.  Unfortunately, his response will be tarred and feathered and edited for the benefit of both intellectually-empty sides of the debate.  Too bad, this could have been a good discussion.  Now, give me back my quarterback! #FreeAaronRodgers

The vaccine mandate debate has become polarized...but here is my middle proposition - government should not force you to be vaccinated AND you have no reason not to get vaccinated.  Aaron Rodgers is not vaccinated and it is going to cost me some sports enjoyment....that is UNACCEPTABLE!  #PleatedPants

The current "Let's Go Brandon" movement is a glorious example of counter-culture that has been a hallmark of this country.  Let's relish in it.  Join together in a cheer and try to forget the forces that would rather tear us apart.  Also, make sure to score some drugs for the upcoming Christmas cartoon watching season.  #TopperThePenguin

On this 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, it is a time for memorials, honors and to tell each other our vivid memories of that day.  The problem is that it is highly likely that those memories are false.  Our stories of that day are reconstructed narratives that have been manipulated across the intervening 20 years.  But that is ok, we can tell the stories anyway.  While we do that, we may also want to reflect on how our fear and anger responses at that time resulted in us giving away freedoms to the federal government that we never got back.  Let's take time on 9/11 to think through whether we want to continue this centralization of power.  Also, I'm not kidding, your 9/11 story is bullshit.  #YourMemorySucks

The abortion debate should be one of the most interesting discussions we can have - it involves important aspects of individual freedom, the definition of life, morality, and gender issues but also has real practical consequences.  But the debate always disappoints as it devolves into bipartisan bickering and dogmatic statements.  In this podcast, I discuss two of my more pathetic attempts to engage in a debate on this topic.  Also, I manage to beat my previous record with 3 Kardashian references in one episode.  #ParkerBanshee

Most of the current discussion on the pullout from Afghanistan has been about the procedure and  not about whether it should happen at all.   Is it worth spending our resources and risking the lives of our service people to protect human rights of non-US-citizens?  I don't know.  I wish it was something that was worth discussing....but it won't be.  Instead we will go back to discussing Britney Spears' conservatorship and Tim Tebow.  #BiSexualRobin

Let's agree that the climate is changing and it is greatly influenced by humans.  Let's also agree that climate change is a bad thing.  Does this mean that humans need to make drastic changes in behavior to slow it down?  What is the cost/benefit analysis?  What if it leads to a greater division in our divided country?  Should I buy a vacation home in Alberta? #CheapCuomoGatesSlams

The UN came out with its new Climate Change report and Climate change mania is back in style.  To deny that the climate is changing and is affected by humans is a non-starter given that climate is a dynamic system.  But it is another thing altogether to presume that these changes pose an existential threat to humanity.  This may be mostly a concern for people who haven't visited Wisconsin in the Winter.  #SnowSucks

The latest CDC report on the Cape Cod area Covid breakout concentrated on the number of vaccinated people who tested positive but what was shocking was the number who were male.  Nobody gives a shit because males are not a protected class but holy crap our lives are statistically miserable.  #MalePityParty

Taboos are important for humans because it provides boundaries that are exciting to cross and give us a sense of adventure in a forbidden zone.  Unfortunately, the more we push against taboo - the smaller this forbidden zone becomes.  We may be at a place where we can't rely on good old fashioned sexual taboos.  Where to next? #GoldenShowers

There has been quite a bit of promotion and subsequent whining about the recent billionaire space race.  It has been pointed to as an example of the excesses and problems with capitalism that these billionaires are playing around with gross amounts of money.  But this consternation is based on an idea that good, moral, smart people should be awarded with money.  Capitalism does not provide award based on merit as much as it provides a way to develop products and solutions across a large population, which ensures a higher probability of positive outcomes.  #TheMuppetShow

Religion is a great aspect of human and intellectual inquiry.  However, some morons when discussing religion try to validate their points by appealing to historical and scientific analysis.  Don't.  You really don't want science to be the arbiter of truth....you will lose.  On the positive side, you keep doing it and make shitloads of money so ---probably don't listen to my advice.  #Garanimals

Making rules and laws to make sure a particular group doesn't suffer from an undue burden may be laudable but it often leads to results that are laughable.  Recent rules have de-incentivized recycling and promoted public drinking all in the name of racial justice.  Time to rethink are statistical analyses based on labels that used to be called arbitrary and unfounded.  #AssholesUnite

Rand Paul and Tony Fauci had another congressional smackdown.   We are all dumber for listening to it.  Rand Paul's hyperbole allowed Fauci to not answer his question.  But the real problem is that Fauci continues to embrace the logical fallacy of the appeal to authority as opposed to rationale discourse backed by empirical evidence....also he looks like his farts smell like boiled cabbage.  #IronSheik

BLM has entered into the fray in the Cuban civilian protests - on the side of the communist regime.  Is this stupid or a Trumpian effort to call to the base and capture the news cycle?  #JackieChan

There are discussions of bringing back lockdowns to deal with the Coronavirus Delta variant.  But there is little evidence that the lockdowns were effective the first time but we do know they affected mental health.  Staying in the house is not an effective protection against Covid in the same way as Monogamy is not an effective protection against STDS.  #AppleStrudel

Former NBA Star Scottie Pippen has accused his former coach of being a racist.  Who cares?  Well, we should go through this logically.  Clearly Scottie didn't because he looks bad regardless of the truth of the matter, but the way we look at racism in this country often bans us from using logic.  #BayBeach

Considering how Americans celebrate other federal holidays, Juneteenth is likely not to be a very significant step in racial progress in this country.  But it should lead to some kick-ass sales at Loews and Amazon!  #McDonald'sDay

My favorite Superhero growing up was Luke Cage - Power Man.  I think I would feel guilty about that choice in today's overly racially sensitive culture.  We are never going to have honest discussions about race when there are so many trigger wires for demolition.  I think that last sentence was a reference to the movie predator.  #ChrisClaremont #ComicBookGeeks

Identity Politics have tainted superhero movies.  I'm dreading the new Shang-Chi movie from Marvel because it is being pushed too much as an Asian role model movie.  The same thing happened with Black Panther and I think that may be the most racist movie I have ever seen.  #4HSpeakingContest

Across news networks and sports broadcasts there are insane displays of social distancing and mask wearing that go against the science and even the conservative stances of the CDC.  What is the purpose of these displays?  Do they think we are idiots?  Of course they do.  #StaindShoutOut

Why do we choose to do the right thing?  Are we out for numero uno?  Do we believe in the "rule of law"?  Or do we actually have an individual philosophy of morality?  A discussion of moral choices with reference to the Prisoner's Dilemma and Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Development and Kenny Loggins!  (JK, no Kenny Loggins references which now seems like an oversight.)