Podcast appearances and mentions of joseph burgo

Kamu pernah nggak ketemu orang yang selalu ingin jadi pusat perhatian atau merasa selalu benar? Kali ini, saya bahas buku The Narcissist You Know karya Joseph Burgo yang mengupas berbagai tipe narsistik. Ternyata, sifat narsis itu spektrum, lho! Ada yang cuma egois sesaat, tapi ada juga yang ekstrem sampai rela melakukan apa saja demi pengakuan. Saya juga cerita tentang kisah Narcissus dari mitologi Yunani yang jadi asal mula kata narsis. Selain itu, kita akan bahas ciri-ciri orang narsis dan tipe kepribadian narsistik yang mungkin ada di sekitar kamu. Yuk, pelajari lebih dalam tentang tingkah laku narsistik dan jenis narsisme. Siapa tahu, kamu bisa lebih memahami diri sendiri atau orang lain! Leave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.me/user/clhb6d0v60kms01w226gw80p4/comments Powered by Firstory Hosting

Have you ever felt shame? Our guest on this episode, psychotherapist and media commentator Joseph Burgo, says shame is a family of emotions ranging from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation, and most of us experience varying degrees of shame every day. He teaches us how to recognize shame, control it, and use it to our advantage. He's the author of the book, 'Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem'.  His website is http://www.josephburgo.com/   Shopify is the all-in-one commerce platform that makes it simple for anyone to start, run and grow your own successful business. With Shopify, you'll create an online store, discover new customers, and grow the following that keeps them coming back. Shopify makes getting paid simple, by instantly accepting every type of payment. With Shopify's single dashboard, you can manage orders, shipping and payments from anywhere. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at Shopify.com/nobody.

Today I welcome the esteemed Dr. Joseph Burgo to discuss the psychological crisis of males who find refuge in a trans identity. Along the way, we explore myriad contributing factors, from shame, narcissism, and autogynephilia; to rising rates of autism and unlimited access to increasingly obscene internet pornography; as well as gender roles, norms, expectations, and recent cultural shifts.As we unravel the narratives of ex-military men and individuals in positions of power who transition, we uncover the complexities of idealization and devaluation in trans identification and the numerous parallels with personality disorder traits. How do societal norms and social justice narratives fuel the shallow idealization of the opposite gender?We also touch on the challenges detransitioners face in therapy and the obstacles therapists encounter in providing effective care for individuals with gender ideation. How can therapists navigate the tense climate surrounding gender identity exploration? And what role should exploration of fantasies and projections play in understanding the complexities of gender distress? Joseph Burgo, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and graduate psychoanalyst who has been practicing for more than 40 years. As a writer, he's the author of several works of non-fiction bringing his insights and experience as a therapist to a popular audience, and his articles and commentary on the topics of shame and narcissism have appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and most of the large news outlets online. In his private practice, he currently focuses on gender distress, and works with trans-identified adolescent boys, male detransitioners, and men who struggle with autogynephilia. He can be reached at joeburgo@gmail.com; find him on X @jburgo55; visit his website at AfterPsychotherapy.com; or view him in the documentary film of another former guest, Jennifer Lahl (from episodes 52 and 97), The Lost Boys: Searching for Manhood.Dr. Burgo's books:The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me AgeWhy Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our LivesShame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-EsteemAll books mentioned on this podcast and written by my guests can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the Amazon affiliate links. Thank you for purchases that support the show.00:00 Start[00:02:49] Autism diagnosis evolution.[00:06:36] Psychology in developmental framework.[00:08:02] Rise in autism due to screens.[00:11:55] Shame and narcissism in youth.[00:18:45] Shame defiance.[00:21:03] Adolescence and privacy for development.[00:25:37] Exploring views on pornography.[00:29:36] Effects of intense porn consumption.[00:32:55] Autogynephilia as narcissism and desire.[00:37:40] Ex-military men and transgender identity.[00:40:58] Grass is greener syndrome.[00:46:03] Idealization and devaluation in identity.[00:49:50] The impact of societal beliefs.[00:52:17] Avoiding adult responsibilities.[00:56:20] Emancipating children's decision-making.[01:01:27] Detransitioning experiences.[01:02:43] Detransitioning experiences and insights.[01:08:15] Importance of finding healing relationships.[01:10:15] Lack of ICD procedure codes for detransition.[01:13:42] Self-care reminder.TALK TO ME: book a discovery call.LOCALS: Ask questions of me & guests; get early access to new episodes + exclusive content. Join my community.SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.DO NO HARM: join our community of concerned professionals.EIGHTSLEEP: Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST.ORGANIFI: Take 20% off Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!Learn more about Do No Harm.Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask qu...

We apologise for another week of break...taking time off to mend our body and soul. Please enjoy this episode from August 2000, on 'Shame'. Hey fellow listeners, since moving to a new distributing platform, some earlier episodes are no longer avilable in Apple Podcast and Spotify. In the next few weeks, we will be retunring to the highlights and offer the new listeners a chance to listen to our 'baby episodes' when we first began our journey with Asian Bitches Down Under. August 2000: This week, we discuss the action and feeling of SHAME, what's your memory of feeling ashamed as a child? And the multiple layers around feeling shame as an Asian.  Jessie's appearance on Equality Talks - Taking Action on Sexual Harassment (12 August 2020)   Anti-binge drinking ad shaming girls and women who drink | 2000The ‘Pinky Ad” - Anti-speeding campaign shaming men who speed on the road | The Road, Traffic Authority, 2014 Books In Defence of Shame | Tanveer Ahmed  Asian Shame and Addiction - Suffering in Silence | Sam Louie Articles Asian Shame | Sam Louie On Covidiots, cancel culture and shame's potential for healing | The Australian, August 25, 2020Why shame is good | VOX, Joseph Burgo, April 18, 2019 Brene Brown | 12 categories of shame Replying My Shame  Shout Out Happiness Habit | Workshops   Asian Bitches Down Under featured as one of the Top 20 Intersectional Feminist Podcast by FeedSpot, checkout other amazing podcast programs HERE Facebook | Asian Bitches Down Under Instagram | Asian Bitches Down Under  Buy Me A Coffee | Asian Bitches Down Under

Joseph Burgo is a psychoanalyst and author and a co-director of Genspect, an organization representing thousands of parents of children caught up in the ongoing transgender social contagion. The organizatioin now seeks to supplant the World Professional Association of Transgender Health as an authoritative source of guidance for how to deal with gender dysphoric youth. Burgo gave a talk at the Genspect: the Bigger Picture conference in April, held concurrently and in the same city as the annual gathering of the European branch of WPATH, titled Autogynephilia, and the Sexualization of Shame which I published at this Substack last month. We had a conversation presented here in podcast form, soon to be posted at the Year Zero YouTube channel, which I encourage everyone to follow, as I'll be posting videos there more regularly. As always, full transcripts of audio interviews are available to paid subscribers. Year Zero is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Some excerpts: Wesley YangLet's talk about the standard definition of what autogynephilia is. How did we come to know that this was a condition at all and what is it?Joseph BurgoIt's very simple, it's men's sexual arousal at the idea or image of themselves as a woman. They are what we used to think as fetishistic cross-dressers — men who dress up in women's clothes and get off on it sexually. We know this from Ray Blanchard, who came up with the two types of transsexuals, the homosexual transsexual and the autogynephilic transsexual. Mike Bailey wrote about it, and Anne Lawrence did an exhaustive study on autogynephilia. What I find really frustrating is that these histories are really accounts of a fetish. I think of what Anne Lawrence wrote as the account of a fetish. It's all about the fetish — the history of the fetish, when it appeared, how it affects their sex life and their relationships, with no sense that it means something. I mentioned in my paper that Anne Lawrence had collected all this data, and then deleted the lengthy family histories of these guys, as if it were peripheral to her study. I find it enormously frustrating. But I do think that's the way the mental health profession is these days. The idea that symptoms have meaning, that they might have an unconscious significance that can be sorted out; that it's a way of resolving internal conflict, or it represents some defensive compromise. People don't think that way anymore, I do feel kind of like a dinosaur these days.Wesley YangIn liberal enclaves like this, especially in ones that are surrounded by red hinterlands, they just accept the next new thing immediately. They don't question them. “Yeah, being born in the wrong body? That makes perfect sense to us.”Were you already in tension and crisis with peers and with the school administration as a result?Joseph BurgoWe didn't have much to do with the school administration. I was set back, and I didn't really know how to cope with this. I approached the people that I thought would help. I think I speak for parents all over America who are having exactly this experience: the mental health professionals will tell you that you need to affirm your child's identity, and you're a bigot. We consulted with the endocrinologist just to get an idea of what the reality was of these drugs. I said to her, just in passing, that it's kind of frustrating that I can't find anybody who's willing to look at the mental health aspects of this, what else might be going on. She looked at me with utter contempt, and said, “You're not going to find that.” Like, “What an outlandish idea that there's a meaning to these symptoms.” It was really humiliating and awful.Wesley YangIncredible. You're a credentialed medical professional within this field, a colleague, and you have standing within that community. The consensus had coalesced to the point where your reflexive belief that, “of course, no one is born in the wrong body,” had already made you a pariah.Joseph BurgoTotally. This has a chilling effect on the profession. A number of people at the conference talked about this, and I know lots of people who won't go anywhere near gender because it's just too fraught. Or they've jumped on the affirmative bandwagon and have built practices affirming children, which is unconscionable to me, but they do it.Wesley YangThere are many states that have bans, I guess North Carolina doesn't, on what they call conversion therapy. Meaning if you help a child be comfortable in their own body, you are converting them from this fleeting psychological sense that they might be a member of the opposite sex, which we're going to reify and entrench as if it's their true identity and any deviation from it is a crime.Joseph BurgoWhich is an absolutely insane position. It's actually the opposite of what's true. One of the things I'm very upset about is that a lot of these gender nonconforming kids who would grow up to be gay or lesbian are being converted to trans. That's the real conversion therapy. I used to sit on the board of directors and was an officer and friends with everybody at my LGBT center where I live. When I dove into this space, I gave them an article I'd written and I said, “Do you want me to step down?” These are my friends and they said, “Yes, please go away.” They'd all jumped on board with the trans thing. It's the LGBT Center but now everything is trans. This was my big question: what if they're gay and not trans. And I'm treated like, “Go away.”Wesley YangYou're still able to practice. They didn't cancel and destroy you, or they didn't try to, or they didn't succeed at it.Joseph BurgoThe fortunate thing is that I'm at a point in my career where I have enough money. I'm in private practice. They can't really cancel me. What are they going do to me?Joseph BurgoAnd it justifies any kind of violence on your behalf, coming from you. The book I want to write next is really an update of Lasch. He diagnosed America famously as suffering from a narcissistic disorder. I think what we've got now is a culture that suffers from borderline personality disorder. My most recent essay, Living In An As If World, looks at the way this kind of detachment from reality, this “as if” existence that we're living where you can just make it up as you go along, is leading to detachment from reality, but also, increasingly, borderline behavior where borderline rage, vicious assaults, attempts to destroy people, which is kind of what borderlines are like, is widespread. It dominates Twitter, for sure. Twitter is like nonstop borderline rage all the time. I do think there's a cultural pathology that's gotten much, much worse. Even though I say the tide has turned, I think, “Can we really pull out? Can we pull back when the society is this ill?” I don't know.Wesley YangWhat is borderline personality disorder and how do you see it manifesting in the culture?Joseph BurgoThe personality disorders, particularly borderline personality disorder, are characterized by an unstable sense of self that vacillates back and forth between feeling like you're superior and feeling like you're trash. It's unstable emotional states, frequent outbursts of rage, when you are challenged or when you aren't validated. These people are prone to various kinds of addictions. They have a hard time forming realistic and lasting relationships. They tend to blow up their friendships and family relationships. These features sound, to me, a lot like the way trans rights activists behave. They really are the embodiment of a cluster B personality disorder, particularly borderline personality disorder. If you take it just on the way people respond to one another in space, the way people will be enraged about nothing and take other people down. They will feel slighted and go off in an explosive way. I think social media really is characterized by borderline kinds of communication. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wesleyyang.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever felt shame? Our guest on this episode, psychotherapist and media commentator Joseph Burgo, says shame is a family of emotions ranging from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation, and most of us experience varying degrees of shame every day. He teaches us how to recognize shame, control it, and use it to our advantage. He's the author of the book, 'Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem'.  His website is http://www.josephburgo.com/

The numbers of young people questioning their gender have skyrocketed, with a 2000% rise in the number of young people questioning their gender observed in many countries. Supporting gender-divergent kids can be tough. GenSpect is working with professionals, parents and loved ones to navigate the complexities of distress around gender.Genspect.orggenspect | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | LinktreeIf you are in a crisis or think you have an emergency, call your doctor or 911. If you're considering suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK to speak with a skilled trained counselor.RADICALLY GENUINE PODCASTRadically Genuine Podcast Website Twitter: Roger K. McFillin, Psy.D., ABPPInstagram @radgenpodTikTok @radgenpodRadGenPodcast@gmail.comADDITIONAL RESOURCES3:00 - About Dr. Lisa Littman | Gender Dysphoria Physician & Researcher8:00 - Our Team - Genspect15:30 - Guidance for Psychotherapists and Counselors - Genspect21:00 - The Gender Affirmative Model24:00 - Ensuring Comprehensive Care and Support for Transgender and Gender-Diverse Children and Adolescents | Pediatrics25:00 - APA: Guidelines for Psychological Practice With Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People32:00 - Jamie Reed, The Free Press: I Thought I Was Saving Trans Kids. Now I'm Blowing the Whistle.34:00 - Harvard Health Ad Watch: How direct-to-consumer ads hook us39:00 - Suicide by Clinic-Referred Transgender Adolescents in the United Kingdom | SpringerLink47:30 - Gender Exploratory Therapy Association (GETA)53:00 - Interim report – Cass Review55:00 - Angus Fox - Quillette1:05:00 - Beyond Transition1:25:00 - Resources - Genspect

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

Joseph Burgo is a psychotherapist whose life was negatively impacted by gender ideology, and is now focusing on it in his practice, especially with young men and boys. In this calmvo we discuss how men are being left adrift and purposeless in contemporary America, and what we can be doing to support men's specific needs. His work can be found at: http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com And at https://genspect.org/beyond/ And at https://twitter.com/jburgo55 Support this channel: https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce https://cash.app/$benjaminaboyce https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/calmversations/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/calmversations/support

Have you ever felt shame? Our guest on this episode, psychotherapist and media commentator Joseph Burgo, says shame is a family of emotions ranging from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation, and most of us experience varying degrees of shame every day. He teaches us how to recognize shame, control it, and use it to our advantage. He's the author of a new book called 'Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem' and is a regular blogger for Psychology Today. Thanks to our sponsors of this episode!   --> AirMedCare Network: AirMedCare Network provides world-class air transport services to the nearest, appropriate hospital or trauma center. AMCN Members have the added value of knowing their flight expenses are completely covered when flown by an AMCN provider. For as little as $85 a year, it covers your entire household, every day, 24/7, even when traveling. AMCN is the largest medical air transport membership in the country, covering 38 states. For just pennies a day, you can worry less about what matters most. This is security no family should be without. Now, as a Nobody Told Me! listener, you'll get up to a $50 eGift Card when you join.    Visit www.airmedcarenetwork.com/nobody and use the offer code NOBODY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I talk about shame and guilt in the context of eating. Book mentioned: Shame by Joseph Burgo

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

-- Pride Month special -- Have you ever felt shame? Our guest on this episode, psychotherapist and media commentator Joseph Burgo, says shame is a family of emotions ranging from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation, and most of us experience varying degrees of shame every day. He teaches us how to recognize shame, control it, and use it to our advantage. He's the author of a new book called 'Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem' and is a regular blogger for Psychology Today. ***** Thanks to our sponsors of this episode! --> Unidragon: check out the most beautiful wooden puzzles for adults and kids! Go to unidragon.com and use promo code 'nobody10' for 10% off! --> UTEP (The University of Texas at El Paso): UTEP Connect's mission is to make exceptional, affordable education accessible to anyone with the ambition to learn and the drive to succeed. Go to online.utep.edu to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt shame? Our guest on this episode, psychotherapist and media commentator Joseph Burgo, says shame is a family of emotions ranging from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation, and most of us experience varying degrees of shame every day. He teaches us how to recognize shame, control it, and use it to our advantage. He's the author of a new book called 'Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem' and is a regular blogger for Psychology Today. Note: this episode previously aired in May 2019 and is part of our 'Best Of' series. ****** Thanks to our sponsor of this episode! --> AirMedCare: If you're ever in need of emergency medical transport, AirMedCare Network provides members with world class air transport services to the nearest appropriate hospital with no out of pocket expenses. Go to airmedcarenetwork.com/nobody and use offer code 'NOBODY' to sign up and choose up to a $50 eGift Card gift card with a new membership! --> Hello Fresh: Find out for yourself why Hello Fresh is America's #1 Meal Kit! Go to hellofresh.com/nobodytoldme10 and use code 'nobodytoldme10' for 10 free meals, including free shipping. --> Word Forest: Sharpen your mind and increase your focus by playing this addictive puzzle app for word search addicts! Word Forest is offering listeners 2500 coins and 500 gems when you download it on the Apple or Google stores. No code is needed. --> Qube Money: We could all use thisbank account and a budgeting app rolled into one! It helps you spend money with purpose and intention, so you can prevent those unnecessary impulse purchases!) Go to qubemoney.com/ntm to create a free account! ****** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we consider the definition of shame we often compare it to Guilt. Commonly, it is thought that we feel guilt for something we have done that is unacceptable; but with shame, we feel that we are unacceptable. In this episode Dr. Joe Burgo expands the formal definition of Toxic Shame discussed by John Bradshaw as the result of unspeakable child abuse or the oppressive force of social shame addressed by Brene' Brown. Drawing upon his new book, Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self-Esteem, Dr. Burgo invites us to consider shame as an entire family of emotions like the pain of unrequited love, the embarrassment of exclusion, the exposure of getting sick at the party or the shame of a disappointed expectation like the college entry rejection or the canceled engagement. Essentially, Dr. Burgo invites us not to be ashamed of shame as it is an aspect of many human feelings. Rather than deny it, Dr. Burgo demonstrates how to use it to build Shame Resilience and Self-Esteem.

When we consider the definition of shame we often compare it to Guilt. Commonly, it is thought that we feel guilt for something we have done that is unacceptable; but with shame, we feel that we are unacceptable. In this episode Dr. Joe Burgo expands the formal definition of Toxic Shame discussed by John Bradshaw as the result of unspeakable child abuse or the oppressive force of social shame addressed by Brene’ Brown. Drawing upon his new book, Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self-Esteem, Dr. Burgo invites us to consider shame as an entire family of emotions like the pain of unrequited love, the embarrassment of exclusion, the exposure of getting sick at the party or the shame of a disappointed expectation like the college entry rejection or the canceled engagement. Essentially, Dr. Burgo invites us not to be ashamed of shame as it is an aspect of many human feelings. Rather than deny it, Dr. Burgo demonstrates how to use it to build Shame Resilience and Self-Esteem.

This week, we discuss the action and feeling of SHAME, what's your memory of feeling ashamed as a child? And the multiple layers around feeling shame as an Asian.  Jessie's appearance on Equality Talks - Taking Action on Sexual Harassment (12 August 2020)   Anti-binge drinking ad shaming girls and women who drink | 2000 The ‘Pinky Ad” - Anti-speeding campaign shaming men who speed on the road | The Road, Traffic Authority, 2014 Books In Defence of Shame | Tanveer Ahmed  Asian Shame and Addiction - Suffering in Silence | Sam Louie Articles Asian Shame | Sam Louie On Covidiots, cancel culture and shame's potential for healing | The Australian, August 25, 2020 Why shame is good | VOX, Joseph Burgo, April 18, 2019 Brene Brown | 12 categories of shame Replying My Shame  Shout Out Happiness Habit | Workshops   ----------------------------------------------------------------- Asian Bitches Down Under Instagram Asian Bitches Down Under Facebook Asian Bitches Down Under Email: asianbdownunder@gmail.com  

When we consider the definition of shame we often compare it to Guilt. Commonly, it is thought that we feel guilt for something we have done that is unacceptable; but with shame, we feel that we are unacceptable. In this episode Dr. Joe Burgo expands the formal definition of Toxic Shame discussed by John Bradshaw as the result of unspeakable child abuse or the oppressive force of social shame addressed by Brene' Brown. Drawing upon his new book, Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self-Esteem, Dr. Burgo invites us to consider shame as an entire family of emotions like the pain of unrequited love, the embarrassment of exclusion, the exposure of getting sick at the party or the shame of a disappointed expectation like the college entry rejection or the canceled engagement. Essentially, Dr. Burgo invites us not to be ashamed of shame as it is an aspect of many human feelings. Rather than deny it, Dr. Burgo demonstrates how to use it to build Shame Resilience and Self-Esteem.

From the archives: Dr. Joseph Burgo, author of "The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age."

When we consider the definition of shame we often compare it to Guilt. Commonly, it is thought that we feel guilt for something we have done that is unacceptable; but with shame, we feel that we are unacceptable. In this episode Dr. Joe Burgo expands the formal definition of Toxic Shame discussed by John Bradshaw as the result of unspeakable child abuse or the oppressive force of social shame addressed by Brene' Brown. Drawing upon his new book, Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self-Esteem, Dr. Burgo invites us to consider shame as an entire family of emotions like the pain of unrequited love, the embarrassment of exclusion, the exposure of getting sick at the party or the shame of a disappointed expectation like the college entry rejection or the canceled engagement. Essentially, Dr. Burgo invites us not to be ashamed of shame as it is an aspect of many human feelings. Rather than deny it, Dr. Burgo demonstrates how to use it to build Shame Resilience and Self-Esteem.

In the modern age, shame is often seen as an unmitigated bad. According to this popular view, all shame is negative and toxic and steps should be taken to avoid and rid oneself of it. My guest today, however, makes the contrarian case that some shame is actually necessary to develop a true sense of self.  His name is Joseph Burgo, he’s a clinical psychologist and the author of the book Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem. Today on the show Joseph and I discuss what exactly shame is, what it feels like, and the difference between toxic shame and productive shame. Joseph then walks us through the sources of shame and how childhood shame can mark us for life. We then discuss tactics we use to mask or avoid feelings of shame, how these masking behaviors can sometimes get in the way of us making progress in our lives, and more productive ways to engage with shame. Joseph then digs into the culture of online shaming and the dangers we face as a society when we shame men by pathologizing healthy masculine attributes like assertiveness, risk taking, and competitiveness. Get the show notes at aom.is/shame.

Have you ever felt shame?  Our guest on this episode, psychotherapist and media commentator Joseph Burgo, says shame is a family of emotions ranging from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation, and most of us experience varying degrees of shame every day.  He teaches us how to recognize shame, control it, and use it to our advantage.  He's the author of a new book called 'Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem' and is a regular blogger for Psychology Today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

I would like to be a little boat, peacefully bobbing upon the ocean of life. Drifting with the flow, seeing where I end up, and having little adventures along the way. Escaping the mindless hustle, endless competition, and tiresome hostility of a restless world. Where everyone is so busy doing nothing, and dissatisfied with the stuff they spend all their energy acquiring. I'm not a boat. And even if I was, this is not what happens when we drift. I would more likely end up shipwrecked, flooded, or out in the middle of an ocean without any sense of where I am. Life's Drift You never drift to the destination you have chosen. It's through deliberate momentum in the right direction, that you get to where you want to go. If you want to be in better health, to clear your debts, or to have stronger relationships, you wont drift there. You'll need to pick up the ores, and start rowing. In this episode of the podcast we explore how drift takes us away from ourselves, and what to do when we look up to see we're not where we want to be. Where Do We Drift? Career It's easy to get caught drifting within the current of a job, industry, or career. Even if you don't have any passion for the work you do. Relationships Our friendships, families, and partners often become victims of drift. We take them for granted, and fail to do the work necessary to keep them healthy. Health We drift with our health. Through the small habits we engage in regularly. Often this leaves us drifting towards crises moments, which we only realise when it's too late. Finances We drift into debt and patterns of mindless spending. Even when we earn more than we used to, we still struggle to make ends meet. Self-Improvement We can get caught in the drift of self-development, carrying the belief that we are not good enough. So we drift in search of the secret. Politics We tend to ignore things that are important but not urgent. Things that we can sweep under the carpet. This happens in our lives as individuals, as well as our collective life in families, communities, and wider society. Drift creates the cracks where the toxins get in. Values Over time we can become numb to the things that once mattered to us. We drift from our deep values, and start to tolerate, excuse, and even pursue things which we know are not good for us. Why Is Drift Dangerous? You end up in places you have not chosen to go Your sense of control disappears You become dissatisfied and full of regret It leads to ill health (both literally and figuratively) What Causes Drift? Belief in Your Own Immortality Palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware, recorded the thoughts of patients in the final 12 weeks of their lives. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says that "common themes surfaced again and again." All 5 of the biggest regrets are underpinned by drift. Where the person has not been deliberate in the pursuit of things that actually mattered to them. This happens when we don't appreciate the fleeting transitory nature of the life we've been given. Lacking Purpose We submit to drift when we live without perspective and appreciation for what good we can do in the world. When we carry no sense of meaning beyond ourselves. When we only live for our own hedonistic experiences and what we can get out of life, rather than what we can put into it. Defence Mechanisms Donald Meltzer calls defence mechanisms "the lies we tell ourselves to evade pain". According to Joseph Burgo (author of Why Do I Do That?), defence mechanisms are "unthinking and reflexive; they aim only to ward off pain this very moment and don't take into account the long-term costs of doing so." They are the ruts into which we fall when we want to avoid feeling things. If we heavily rely on them then we will drift into the same kinds of situations over and over. Drive If you're driven by money, you will never have enough.

When we see the word shame, it pricks up our ears. We want to know more and we want to understand what people are saying, and doing, about it. Because guess what? We want to eradicate shame. Let’s do it! Wait, wait, what’s that you say? There are some good things about shame too? We never thought of it that way, not until we had author and psychotherapist Joseph Burgo on the show. He had some exceptional insights about shame, a topic he has been exploring for over a decade now, culminating in his book, Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self-Esteem. We met in Palm Springs and spoke about shame, Trump, Louis CK, and how shame can be a path to pride. We had fun, enjoy.

Most parents want to protect our children from shame, but psychotherapist Joseph Burgo says that's not always the right approach. In his book Shame, Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self-Esteem Joseph says shame is a complex emotion that is often misunderstood. In this interview he explains how shame manifests and how it can help our children build real self esteem.

In this week’s show, I chat to Joseph Burgo, PhD about Shame - Shame itself and Shame, his new book which challenges us to use Shame as a springboard rather than be taken down by it. Resilience has a lot to do with that and Jo talks a lot about that too - how it’s cultivated and what early childhood has to do with it. Jo has been practising psychotherapy for more than 35 years and held licenses as a marriage and family therapist and clinical psychologist so we’re lucky to have him with us sharing his experience with patients - and with his own shame over the years and I truly feel this was a fresh conversation on the topic. I was challenged in my thinking and I hope you are too so that we can lead happier, more emotionally resilient lives. As always, you’ll find the show notes over on lowtoxlife.com/podcast Enjoy, Alexx x QUESTIONS     What led you to study shame in your work? In the early part of your book you take us through the “Shame spectrum” - can you talk us through that spectrum now?   In the start of the book you ask us to do a survey and count our points. I felt somewhat blessed to only score 12… so quite low on the scale of ‘life shame’ it seems, but so many people score high - a couple of my family members scored in the 30s and 40s due to schooling traumas…     Are we more scarred by the latter end of the spectrum and the higher score on the shame survey? Ie harder to heal?   And it might feel like “we can never shake it” when we learn that Shame is encoded in our DNA but we can, right?   Can we have a great self esteem and still feel shame? Does the foundation of a good self esteem make us more resilient in the face of shame?   What role can parents play in becoming more aware of our actions, the way we discipline our kids, the way we build their self esteem in those early years?   What does the act of burying and denying shame do to us - should we not be socially saying “Oh don’t worry, it’s ok” when a friend sees us shamed and we brush it off? What’s a better way to heal from shame?   When does self pity set in? Is it from repeat shame?   In clinic can you share a story of how you’ve taken someone from self pity to self esteem?   Something that happens to us often is when we’re proud or have good self esteem, we’re ‘put down’ / tall poppy syndrome… How do we navigate this when it happens without shaming someone else and maintaining our self esteem?   How do we navigate narcissists?   Something I love about your book is that we get exercises at the end to help us identify shame in our lives and our pasts and heal… Self awareness being the first step, right? Can you share an exercise we could all do this week to address shame in our lives?   We’re likely to feel shame at some point down the track - maybe even later today: What is the most important thing we can do when we experience it?

In his book "Why do I do That?" Joseph Burgo, Phd, warns that "psychological defenses may exclude or misdirect parts of our emotional life that we need for effective relationships- not just romantic ones but those with our family members and close friends or with our colleagues at work." On this episode of No Small Thing Macie and Scott discuss defense mechanisms- what are they? how can we identify them? how to they relate to The Enneagram!?- and also deep dive two particular defense mechanisms- Reaction Formation and Splitting.

What do challenges as diverse as addiction, perfectionism, narcissism, and masochism have in common? They’re driven by a family of emotions that share “a painful awareness of self,” otherwise known as shame. This week, Savvy Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen talks with psychologist Dr. Joseph Burgo about the often-misunderstood experience of shame, and most importantly, how to overcome it. Read the full transcript at https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/how-to-overcome-feelings-of-shame Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts FOLLOW SAVVY PSYCHOLOGIST Order Ellen's book HOW TO BE YOURSELF: https://us.macmillan.com/howtobeyourself/ellenhendriksen/9781250161703/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/savvypsychologist On Twitter: https://twitter.com/qdtsavvypsych Download free, science-backed resources to fight social anxiety: http://EllenHendriksen.com

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

We hear a great deal in the media about narcissism. If you have ever wondered if the person you work for, the man you are dating or the friend who knows everything is a narcissist, listen in. On this show Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist and author of the book, The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About Me Age, will draw upon his clinical experience and fascinating examples to discuss the Narcissist. He will make clear the tell tale signs of narcissism, the secrets the narcissist hides even from self and the parenting styles that may set the stage for narcissism. In the back and forth with host, Suzanne Phillips, Dr. Burgo will also discuss how to cope with a narcissist in a way that preserves your choice to engage or disengage. Be prepared to be informed.

6-5-16 - Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist, "The Narcissist You Know", www.josephburgo.com by Warm1069

6-5-16 - Dr. Joseph Burgo, psychologist, "The Narcissist You Know", www.josephburgo.com by Warm1069

Sunday Morning Magazine - 10-11-15 - Dr Joseph Burgo by Warm1069

Narcissism may have become more prevalent and even celebrated in society. On this episode, Dr. Joseph Burgo discussed the narcissist you know.

This week on Mom Talk Radio the Mom's Roundtable discusses holiday traditions. Erin Richardson from ZipList. Psychotherapist and top psychology blogger, Dr. Joseph Burgo, discusses his new book, Why Do I Do That? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives. The Mom's Roundtable gives tips for staying healthy during the holidays. And, Christina Stanley-Salerno tells us about Samsung's Make Your House Work for the Holidays program. This show is sponsored by Lands' End and Family Circle.

Joseph Burgo, PhD is a clinical psychologist and graduate psychoanalyst with 30+ years in the mental health profession. He’s served as a board member, officer and instructor at a component society of the International Psychoanalytic Association.  Dr. Burgo writes two blogs where he discusses issues that arise in treatment from a psychodynamic perspective:  After Psychotherapy (his personal website) and Therapy Case Notes, which uses film as means to learn more about the human psyche.   His forthcoming book on psychological defense mechanisms will be released in Spring 2013 .  He'll discuss recognizing your limits and making choices that respect those limits to lead a more realistic and fulfilling life. Thomas M. Sterner is the author of Practicing Mind: Developing Focus and Discipline in Your Life. The book offers practical advice for making the most out of the practicing process to acquire new skills to achieve success and mastery. He’s an accomplished musician, a private pilot, student of archery, and avid golfer. Sterner has also worked in the sound and video arts fields as a recording engineer, audio and video editor and processor, and musical score composer. He's studied Eastern and Western philosophy and modern sports psychology and trained as a concert pianist. For more than twenty-five years, he served as the chief concert piano technician for a major performing arts center. Sterner has parlayed what he learned from his profession into a love of practice. He's produced a radio show about The Practicing Mind and continues to teach his techniques to business people, at sports clinics, and to learners of all kinds.