The Gentle Rebel Podcast

Have you ever been in a room and sensed social dynamics beneath the surface before a word was spoken? Perhaps you've noticed (consciously or unconsciously) a subtle glance, a shift in posture, or a hint of tension between the lines. If so, you're not alone. This kind of social sensitivity is part of being a highly sensitive person (HSP). This episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast is the first in a series that will explore the social dimensions of sensory processing sensitivity, the biological trait underlying high sensitivity. I'll be drawing on ideas from The HSP Owner's Guide, a mini-zine resource I created with Tuula, which is designed to help HSPs explore and discuss sensitivity as a normal aspect of being human. https://youtu.be/DFiJHxI9Qko What is Social Sensitivity? Social sensitivity refers to how highly sensitive individuals perceive and respond to emotional cues, interpersonal dynamics, and the tone of their environment. It's not a learned skill or a conscious choice; it's a normal variation in biological traits. More sensitive nervous systems naturally absorb larger volumes of environmental data and process it deeply. This means HSPs (those who score higher for sensitivity along a universal continuum), are more sensitive to social nuances and more susceptible to the effects of social stimulation. What is Sensory Processing Sensitivity? SPS is a trait found in 20–30% of the population (not just humans). It means that some are biologically wired to process more sensory input around us (environment), within us (internal), and between us (social). This trait can make someone more emotionally responsive, detail-aware, and easily overstimulated. Despite stereotypes and associations with the term, it's not often easy to tell a highly sensitive person by looking at them. You might even look calm and collected on the outside when your system is working overtime beneath the surface. Social Sensitivity and Early Learning The nervous system informs thoughts and feelings in response to a perception of safety or danger from cues and triggers. The way we interpret social data isn't always “objectively true", particularly if we grew up in unpredictable or critical environments. This pattern recognition can shape how we experience social settings well into adulthood. That's why intuition can be both a strength and a vulnerability for sensitive people. It's wise to ask: Is this gut feeling rooted in the present, or the past? Key Elements of Social Sensitivity in HSPs Heightened Awareness of Social Nuance More sensitive individuals might be attuned to micro-expressions, body language, tone changes, and subtle group dynamics. This can give them a natural ability to “read the room,” but it can also lead to emotional absorption and a tendency to take responsibility for others' discomfort. Not every HSP reacts the same way. Some feel compelled to help, others want to escape the weight of unspoken tensions. Personality, personal history, and social roles all play a part. Deep Emotional Responsiveness Many highly sensitive people feel others' emotions deeply. This allows for strong empathy and attunement, but also risks emotional contagion—carrying other people's emotional weight without realising it. Brain studies suggest that those on the more sensitive end exhibit increased activity in areas associated with emotional processing. But this doesn't mean you're doomed to feel overwhelmed by uncontrollable sources of emotion. With awareness and practice, it's possible to separate your emotions from those of others and develop healthy emotional boundaries. Rejection Sensitivity and the Need to Belong HSPs might be particularly attuned to signs of rejection or disapproval, whether real or imagined. Some develop habits of withdrawing or masking to avoid being perceived as “too much” or “too sensitive.” I've noticed a few people suddenly and unexpectedly leave the Haven community ...

It has been said that “Creativity is the art of concealing your sources.” But what does that mean? Is it about passing off other people's work as your own? Or is it less about copying influences and more about concealing them like seeds in the soil? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore what this looks like and consider the impact on our natural creative spirit when we do (or don't) conceal our sources in healthy ways. https://youtu.be/jgNccDK_MH0?si=5CQCaXnvHZWbaEoP The randomiser prompt wheel selected this phrase for me on Tuesday ahead of our Serenity Island Picnic. I'll be honest, when I first saw "Creativity is the art of concealing your sources”, I was tempted to spin again. But, I gave it a go and found a few interesting threads to pull at. Concealing Our Sources Like Seeds Concealing our sources about misleading or deceiving. It's about letting inspiration settle deep enough that it becomes more than it is. Like planting a seed. We don't bury seeds to hide them; we bury them so they can grow. Our influences need space, time, and darkness to take root and become unique to us. This applies not just to creative work, but to life itself. When Sources Weigh Us Down Sometimes, a source casts a heavy shadow. I remember when I started writing songs and held everything up to my Thom Yorke-ometer. I compared what I created with what I believed Radiohead would produce, ignoring the other sounds and voices that wanted to be involved. This had an impact on my creative freedom until I let go of the desire to emulate the music I loved, capturing instead what truly inspired me about the band. The Subtle Power of Concealment The word “conceal” can sound suspicious, like trickery or withholding. But it can also be a positive source of protection and consent. Sometimes we need to conceal our sources from those who want to steal, exploit, or imitate without effort. Or those who want more information than we are comfortable or willing to share. We also sometimes need to conceal our sources from ourselves, especially when they become yardsticks for comparison and judgement. When a parent, mentor, or idol takes up too much space in our heads, our actions can become reactions. Instead of creating from a place of freedom, we're trying to impress, appease, or prove something. Our Creative Lineage At the beginning of Meditations, Marcus Aurelius devotes an entire section to acknowledging how family members, teachers, and the gods (both directly and indirectly) shaped his character, values, and worldview. For example, honesty from his father, humility from his mentor, resilience from hardship, etc. This collection starts on a platform that essentially rejects the romaticised idea we often hear about today with people described as “self-made”. I thought about the deep processing a highly sensitive person does and the impact of SO many things on influencing who and how we become. Each of us has a creative lineage/heritage. We are shaped by countless sources—people, experiences, stories, relationships, and chance encounters. Some sources give us strength, others weigh us down with expectations and demands. Some we learn directly from (we receive wisdom from the example they set). Others we learn indirectly from (we are invited to grow in response to the example they set). We are all a messy mix. And while we are infused by them, we are not defined by them. Here are some reflection questions we used in our Serenity Island picnic earlier this week. Who or what would you consider part of your creative lineage? What part of that lineage feels overgrown, overweight, or overbearing right now? What might shift if you pared that influence back, cut it out, or intentionally replanted it as a new seed again? Which elements of your lineage would you like to feature more of and amplify in your life? These are the questions we explored together at the Serenity Island ...

What do you think of when you hear the words A Still Life? A bowl of fruit? A serene person, undisturbed by the world's noise. Stagnation and stuckness. The quiet, hope-filled whisper that reminds you that no matter how it feels or where you are right now, you still have life within you. Another chapter waiting to be written. We've been reading Josie George's memoir, A Still Life, in The Haven book club. After Josie joined us at last weekend's discussion, I've been reflecting on the meaning of stillness and its many forms and flavours. It's a fascinating word to think about! In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore the layers of stillness in the book. From the stifling slowness imposed by illness or circumstance, to the deep, peaceful resilience that absorbs life's ripples without breaking. Stillness can be a captured moment in art, a book, or a song. It's a framed snapshot in time. https://youtu.be/dTHv2AhDDpI The Noise of Shallow Rivers vs. the Depth of Still Waters There's an old proverb: "Shallow rivers are noisy. Deep lakes are silent." I recently heard a deep lake that was anything but silent but

This post elaborates on the sensitivity research section of The HSP Owner's Guide. Differential susceptibility is a key concept in high-sensitivity research. In simple terms, it means that the more sensitive you are, the more your environment impacts you. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you might notice that some people thrive in situations where you feel discombobulated. Conversely, when conditions feel right, you may experience more intense joy, connection, and growth than others. It's the idea that some people are more responsive to their environment—for better or worse. For HSPs, this heightened responsiveness is a defining trait linked to their depth of processing, shaping how they experience life. However, it's important to remember that not all HSPs are the same. Sensitivity is just one part of who we are, and how we respond to our environments can vary widely. https://youtu.be/GIIKRuy5TOw What is Differential Susceptibility? Differential susceptibility means that the more sensitive someone is, the more influence their environment has on them. We might think of it like a spectrum of responsiveness. On one end, some people are like sturdy structures, able to adapt to a wide range of conditions without much change. On the other hand, many HSPs are finely tuned instruments that process their environment in depth. This can allow them to thrive in supportive settings but may also make them more vulnerable in harsh ones. For many HSPs, this means they are deeply affected by their upbringing, current environment, and the people around them. In favourable conditions, they may flourish more intensely than others, finding creative flow, experiencing strong empathy, and having deep insights. In unfavourable conditions, they might struggle more than others, feeling overstimulated or drained, unable to utilise the and share the fruits of their high sensitivity. This heightened responsiveness isn't a weakness—it's a unique way of engaging with the world that comes with challenges and strengths. That said, again to reiterate, not all HSPs will respond the same way. Sensitivity interacts with other aspects of personality, life experiences, and individual differences. How Does Differential Susceptibility Shape Our Lives? Differential susceptibility shows up in tangible ways for many HSPs. Here's how it might play out, maybe you recognise your own experiences in these examples: Growing Up: The Impact of Early Environments Supportive Upbringing: If an HSP grows up in a nurturing environment—where their sensitivity is understood and valued—they are more likely to develop strong emotional intelligence, creativity, and resilience. Challenging Upbringing: If an HSP grows up in a less supportive environment—where their sensitivity was dismissed or criticised—they might have learned to hide their true self, leading to feelings of disconnection or self-doubt. For example, imagine an HSP who grew up in a chaotic and unpredictable household. If there is constant noise or tension, that person's nervous system is more likely to be dysregulated, overstimulated and seeking safety from unsafe sources. They may assume the "tiny adult" role, feeling responsible for trying to keep the environment 'in balance' by fawning, people pleasing, monitoring moods (over empathy). But if that same HSP had grown up in a calm, supportive home, they might have thrived, using their sensitivity to connect deeply with others and appreciate life's beauty. Adulthood: Creating Nurturing Environments Favourable Conditions: When HSPs are in environments that honour their sensitivity—like a peaceful home, a supportive workplace, or a close-knit community—they often bring incredible strengths. They may notice what others miss, create spaces of warmth and connection, and approach challenges creatively and empathetically. Unfavourable Conditions: In overwhelming or unsupportive environments—like a stressful job,

May the road rise to meet you. My note from a slow coach this week reflects on Baltic endorphins, some internal torment due to a decision made by my past self that my present self didn't appreciate, and a poem contemplating whether adventure is always just around the corner. It's an excerpt from a journal entry a couple of weeks ago when I was in Finland. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_VzkTNi53E I'm still feeling invigorated from last night's dip in the Baltic Sea. I don't know if it's the exhilaration of spending 90 seconds in 4-degree (Celsius) water or the satisfaction I feel from following through on my intention. Something caught me when I looked across the water a few days ago—a pull I couldn't ignore. The idea of getting in the water was great. Until it was time to do it. What was I thinking? The two hours leading up to my plunge were filled with antsy-pantsy pacing and flip-flopping. I was not amused by my decision. Still, I knew that if I didn't go through with it, the regret of missing this opportunity would far outweigh the momentary despair of doing something I knew would be wildly rewarding (once I resurfaced and was safely ensconced in the sauna—my happy place). This morning's inner calm is a blend of satisfaction and physical aliveness. The sauna not only offered a delightful reward for completing my challenge but also enhanced the experience. The contrast of fire and ice creates a unique sensation. Forever on the horizon This morning, I am returning to the list of phrases and ideas we developed at the start of our month of “Adventure” in The Haven. I had intended to use one each morning in my journal practice, but it hasn't happened yet. No problem, I am up for it today. Now. I spin the wheel, and it throws “Adventure is waiting just beyond view” onto the screen. I don't think it's a saying, but it feels familiar. Similar to the idea that adventure (or growth) lies on the other side of your comfort zone. I've always had a complex relationship with these platitudinal sayings. They carry kernels of truth for particular situations but are often espoused as universal, all-encompassing statements of fact. May the branch rise to meet them My eyes are drawn through the window. My first coffee of the day is on the cabinet beside me. Adventure is waiting just beyond view. Those words feel coarse to me here. Itchy. Like an irritant on my skin. I can see a squirrel moving effortlessly through the trees and a crow perched on a breeze-flexed branch above, and I wonder if they ever wonder about these things. It's tempting to get caught up in the assumption that everything good is just beyond view. It's the engine of consumer culture, the ideology of endless striving. Like a perpetual mirage, we see the reward, but it moves further as we get closer. "Just a little further" becomes a mantra in the meditation of hustle. Advice is cheap and contradictory. I am interested in how we can develop a more nuanced and healthy relationship with growth, purpose, and flow in life. If adventure is forever around the corner, what am I overlooking right here? To feel settled without settling and expectant without expecting. Isn't this moment the adventure that was just around the corner from that previous one? I think of the old blessing: “May the road rise to meet you.” Maybe that's the real adventure—the road meeting us where we are. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjJXAL40MC4 May the flow rise to meet you From the edge of this perch,I strain my neck to watch a squirreldart, weightless, certain of the branchesthat will reach out and catch herwith every flight, twist, and descent. Is it true that I can find anAdventure waiting just beyond view? If I round the corner.If I push the button.If I make the call.If I am patient.If I lead.If I trust the process.If I take a step.If I listen.If I dare.If I follow.If I let this grow.If I am brave.If I am gentle.

In a world obsessed with productivity, competition, and the "hero's journey," Natsu Miyashita's The Forest of Wool and Steel shines a quietly revolutionary light on something altogether different. This book is a balm for those who've felt out of step with society's narrow definitions of success or crave a deeper, slower, more meaningful way of living. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I explore what I took as its key themes and why they feel so radical in today's hustle culture. Beyond "Finding Your Purpose" Society often frames purpose as something we discover "out there" - a preordained destiny waiting to be unlocked. But The Forest of Wool and Steel shows us something subtler: purpose isn't discovered in that way; it's woven through our responses to chance encounters. The protagonist, Tomura, stumbles into piano tuning after a random school errand. What captivates him isn't some grand mission but a moment of sensory awe: "His whole body trembled. It was like hearing colour." This moment isn't about the piano giving him purpose; it's about how the piano helps reveal what was ready to resonate within him. The novel suggests that any object, experience, or moment can become a doorway to the forest if we're listening. High Sensitivity as an Ordinary Feature of Humanity Unlike narratives that treat sensitivity as a flaw or a superpower, Miyashita normalises it as simply part of being human. Tomura and his mentors experience the world with a depth of processing. One tuner feels exhausted by public telephones, billboards, and the dirt on the road. He has learned to recover through a metronome's rhythm. Tomura often needs time to process decisions, rejecting opportunities before slowly embracing them - a familiar experience for many HSPs. The book's quiet power lies in its refusal to pathologise or glorify sensitivity. Instead, it shows how deep attunement - to sound, environment, and subtlety, is the source of growth and meaning. The Question of Success Tomura's apprenticeship defies every expectation of the "hero's journey." There are no villains, no competitions, no triumphant climax. Instead, his growth is slow, iterative, and deeply personal: How long until I can make that sound I heard on that first day? The novel suggests that true mastery isn't about conquering a craft but collaborating with it and understanding with more than the mind. In a culture obsessed with optimisation and "levelling up," the seasonal, non-linear approach we witness here feels quietly radical. Outgrowing Hustle Culture The book gently critiques society's obsession with measurable success. When Tomura's brother mocks his belief that a piano's sound contains "the whole world," it mirrors how modern culture dismisses wonder in favour of utility. Yet the novel celebrates the "useless", the wasteful, and the ordinary: Knowing the names of trees The taste of olive oil-drizzled eggs The way light glistens at dawn These moments aren't "productive," but they're where meaning lives. As Tomura reflects: "It felt to me as though nothing was a waste, but at the same time, everything was on some level a colossal waste." This paradox is the heart of the book's rebellion: what if the "small" things are the big things? Why We Resist Slowness (And How to Stop) Critics call the book "slow" or "uneventful", but that's the point. Our discomfort with its pace reveals a deeper truth: we've been programmed to equate speed with value. Tomura's mentors teach him that people assume "brightness" is a synonym for better. But it's not that simple. Similarly, the novel invites us to reflect on our relationship with depth and darkness: Are we afraid of stillness because it confronts us with ourselves? Do we mistake urgency for purpose? What if the "forest of wool and steel" (the unseen, sensory world) is where real creativity lives?

When you receive help, do you perceive it as a transactional burden or as a gift? How do you support the people, ideas, and art you admire? Do you feel disappointed when they go against your views, or do you willingly allow them the freedom to grow and evolve into whatever they might become, despite potential disagreements? https://youtu.be/Ueyw7nSI6jc Last year, during a Haven Phrase Maze exploration around the prompt “The Money Changed Everything,” we discussed what makes a gift a gift. We asked whether, once given, the giver of a true gift can have any justifiable feelings about what is done with it. Or if a hope or expectation turns a gift into a conditional transaction. For example, when we give someone a present, we might expect them to use it in a particular way (and not to sell it on, exchange it, or give it to someone else, for an acceptable time at least). What impact does this obligation have on the receiver? How does this relate to our engagement with artists, public figures, and one another? Conditional vs Unconditional Support Are we conditional patrons, offering support only when we agree with the other person? Or are we unconditional patrons, standing by them because we believe in their how and why, even when we disagree with the substance of their particular "what"? This is on my mind because of a comment I received on a recent YouTube video. Someone explained why they disagreed with something I had said, which is fair enough. But I was struck by the intended sucker punch at the end of the comment... “Unsubscribed.” That word was like a weapon; it felt like an attempt at punishment and behaviour modification. It focused on the surface rather than the source. I know that subscribing isn't a gift, but I couldn't help but wonder if a similar mechanism exists in the distinction between conditional and unconditional gift-giving. This is why I don't tend to ask people directly to subscribe to my podcast, videos, or social media. I want it to be a choice, not a favour or transaction. I leave it for people to come and go as they like, with no pressure either way. If the time comes for us to go separate ways, that's fine. It happens. We don't owe one another anything. We've just had a nice ride along together for a bit. Unconditional Patronage and Disagreement Do we tie our support for people to WHAT they think or HOW and WHY they reach their conclusions? Think about the creators, artists, or figures you follow and admire. Do you find yourself withdrawing support when they say or do something you disagree with? What would it look like to support them unconditionally, focusing on their how and why rather than a particular what? Over the years, I have come to support people whose WAY of thinking I respect and value. Most people I follow express views I disagree with occasionally (in some cases, a lot), but I sincerely appreciate the how and why behind their ideas. The process inspires me as much as, if not more than, the outcome. It's only if their values (the drive of their why) change that I tend to consider whether or not I want to continue supporting them. It can happen. There is a flip-side to this coin... “Subscribed” It can feel validating when someone agrees with something I say and tells me they are subscribing or following me because of it. However, there is a subtle pull that can occur here. The connection between the statement they agreed with and their choice to subscribe creates a conditional presence. I might feel the pressure: "To keep them happy, I better keep saying similar things." This can lead to a slippery slope toward mediocrity, self-censorship, and audience capture - forces we see in abundance today. When we engage like this with people, we subtly encourage them to appeal to the crowd, avoid risks, and conform to expectations (to appease followers and provoke adversaries) rather than exploring new possibilities and navigating the...

People may fear giving credit because they worry it will diminish their status. But research shows the opposite is true: sharing credit actually boosts respect and trust. This paradox lies at the heart of status insecurity, a psychological trap that drives maladaptive behaviors and undermines relationships, careers, and personal wellbeing. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore the vicious cycle of status insecurity, its impact on individuals and society, and how we can gently rebel against its allure. We'll also consider the story of self-help author Mel Robbins refusing to acknowledge poet Cassie Phillips or the pre-existing "Let Them" movement in her recent book. Does this move reflect elements of status insecurity? What Is Status Insecurity? Status insecurity arises when individuals feel their social standing is unstable or at risk. This can stem from comparisons with others, societal pressures, or personal failures. According to research by Katherine Hoff, Derek Rucker, and Adam Galinsky, status insecurity triggers a self-perpetuating cycle: Status Insecurity: Doubts about one's social rank or standing. Compensatory Consumption: Buying luxury goods or status symbols to "prove" worth. Financial Strain: Overspending leads to stress and anxiety. Reinforced Status Insecurity: Financial and emotional strain further undermines self-worth. Cycle Repeats: The individual doubles down on status-seeking behaviors, worsening the cycle. This cycle is particularly prevalent in consumer-driven cultures, where status is often equated with material wealth and individual achievement. The Reluctance to Share Credit Status insecurity is fueled by the fear that acknowledging others' contributions will diminish one's own standing. Yet, studies show that sharing credit increases respect and trust. As Adam Grant shared on Instagram: "Sharing credit doesn't detract from your success. It displays your character. 17 studies show that when people feel insecure, they hesitate to celebrate others—and fail to earn respect." Ironically, withholding credit can damage credibility over time. When individuals prioritise image over integrity, they risk eroding trust and undermining their long-term reputation. The Mel Robbins Controversy: A Case Study The recent controversy involving self-help author Mel Robbins and the "Let Them Theory" may illustrate the dangers of status insecurity. Robbins presented the "Let Them Theory" as her own idea, omitting any acknowledgement to Cassie Phillips, whose viral "Let Them" poem and tattoo movement led to Robbins' discovery. This decision may have stemmed from the pressure to maintain her status as an innovative thought leader in a competitive industry that celebrates stories of "self-made" figures. Yet, as the truth has emerged, her credibility has been questioned, with many followers expressing disappointed and even feelings of betrayal. Robbins' experience is a cautionary tale: prioritising status over transparency doesn't go down well in the long run. Honesty about the theory's origins could have enhanced her reputation, demonstrating humility and collaboration—qualities audiences value. The Broader Implications of Status Insecurity On Individuals: It leads to stress, anxiety, burnout, and self-sabotaging behaviors like overworking or people-pleasing. On Relationships: It fosters competition, jealousy, and transactional interactions, making genuine connections harder to form. I once knew someone trapped in this mindset. Every conversation turned into an opportunity to boast about their achievements and experiences. Over time, the group grew exasperated, and this person was inadvertently left out of the proverbial weekend brunch invitation. Their presence created tension and unease because they believed that name-dropping, one-upping, and status-signalling were ways to impress rather than frustrate us.

I know I'm not the only one disturbed by the scenes of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance publicly dressing down Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House. I was saddened and sickened by the bullying behaviour of those entrusted to know and be a whole lot better than that. The lack of empathy, the attempts to humiliate and intimidate, and the smirking childish arrogance was embarrassing to witness. Especially from individuals holding the highest positions of political leadership and responsibility. It presents us with a question. Do we accept it? Does it reflect the world we want to create together? https://youtu.be/lKk-Fp_nqaE The Ripple Effect of Bullying This kind of bullying affects not only its direct targets but also those who witness it. Many people felt the sting of observing that incident for various reasons. So, how ought we respond when we see and hear things like this, which might have particular personal resonance for those who have been on the receiving end of power abuses themselves? Growing up, I was taught that bullies tend to operate from a place of insecurity. They mask their inferiority with a facade of superiority. The hypocrisy in the accusations about disrespect struck me. It's a classic charge from someone who feels insecure. They questioned Zelensky's clothes—a choice he has openly described as a show of solidarity with fellow Ukrainians during wartime. In doing so, they displayed ignorance, wilful or otherwise, of the traumatic reality his country had thrust upon it from an invading force. Bullies don't respect the humanity of others. They smirk, berate, and belittle rather than empathise, understand, and connect. Encountering Bullying Many of us have encountered or witnessed bullying in different areas of life—a boss who publicly humiliates or undermines an employee, someone who sabotages others by withholding critical information or setting them up for failure, or a family member who uses emotional blackmail or guilt to coerce and manipulate. The dynamics are strikingly similar. A pathological need to dominate, a pattern of intentionally misrepresenting someone's words, obsessively pulling apart everything someone does, and active enjoyment from causing a person harm or distress. Arrogance or Confidence A bully arrogantly attempts to humiliate and intimidate. This is not a show of strength but a reflection of deep-seated insecurity and weakness. This reflects a distinction we might make between arrogance and confidence. Arrogance, as I see it, is insecurity dressed up as superiority. It's the need to dominate, to belittle, and to control. Confidence, on the other hand, is secure in who it is and the path it's on. It doesn't need to tear others down to feel strong. Responding To The Quiet Rage This incident stirred a quiet rage within me. Something was disturbing about watching a leader like Zelensky, who had shown immense courage and grace in the face of Russia's invasion, be treated with such disdain and disrespect. So, what do we do when we witness events like this? It's easy to get caught up in the emotion and stay there. But it's more important to pause, process, and channel those feelings into constructive actions. Acknowledge Your Emotions: Feeling angry, sad, or disappointed is okay. Express the energy of those feelings in non-destructive ways—scream across the sea if you need to, take it out on a drum kit, exercise your body, or throw something. Connect with Others: Seek out people who share your values and can offer emotional support. Temporary venting and ranting with people you trust can provide healing catharsis, as long as everyone is comfortable with it! Turn Pain into Active Hope: I spoke with Cindy Gale, who shared a framework for processing thoughts and feelings in a changing world. The four stages—gratitude, Honouring Our Pain, Seeing with New Eyes, and Going Forth—can guide us toward constructive action...

We just finished reading Wintering by Katherine May in the book club, and it has prompted me to reflect on the parallels between the book's themes and the foundational values underlying ​The Return to Serenity Island​. https://youtu.be/NoGFVIuAPJk Katherine May describes Wintering as “a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you're cut off from the world, feeling rejected, sidelined, blocked from progress, or cast into the role of an outsider.” We've all experienced these times in life, but wintering is a quiet act of defiance in a world that never stops. It is an example of gentle rebellion in the face of the perpetual demand to be productive and useful. It's choosing rest over empty hustle, care over competition, and creativity over endless productivity. May suggests that we often treat these winters as something to hide or ignore. However, embracing them is “a radical act—choosing to slow down, letting spare time expand, and getting enough rest. If you shed this skin, you'll expose all those painful nerve endings and feel raw. But if you don't, the old skin will harden around you.” This resonates deeply with what we do in ​The Return to Serenity Island.​ What Is Serenity Island? Serenity Island is a slow and immersive experience, and perfect for those navigating, preparing for, or healing from a season of wintering. Whether you're in the aftermath of a crisis, have identified a gradual drift in a part of your life, or you simply feel the burden of life's demands on your shoulders, the course offers a space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with the things that matter. You are invited to... Rest and listen: Discover tools to help you embrace stillness and notice the unexpected wisdom waiting in the spaces between. Illuminate the path: as the snow falls, it brightens the world engulfed in the darkness of short winter days. Serenity Island helps you find your footing more clearly and softens the harsh edges of life. Rediscover your voice: As May reminds us, despite beliefs entrenched by popular culture, to view singing as something for the talented is to misunderstand it as a natural and necessary part of human expression. On Serenity Island, you will reclaim your sound and find the courage to explore your voice, regardless of what anyone else thinks of it. Move with the seasons: Life isn't linear, and neither is healing. With maps and imagination, Serenity Island helps you embrace a cyclical and three-dimensional understanding of growth. What You'll Find on Serenity Island Wintering is not just about survival—it's about transformation and enduring growth. May writes, “Every time we winter, we develop a new knowledge about how to go back into the world.” On Serenity Island, you will: Gain clarity on what matters most and how YOU want to approach this next season of life. Identify and gently release the things you no longer want to spend your finite resources (resilience, energy, time) on. Anchor in the present by embracing and enjoying life's imperfect and bittersweet endings, letting go of perfect hero's journeys and wishful thinking. Slow down, rest, and be yourself alongside others in the folded-page moments of our picnic sessions, where there is no pressure to perform or deliver. Build your toolkit for life by using the course templates and ideas. Develop your own practices, rituals, and metaphors to carry you through future seasons. Ready to Join Me on Serenity Island? Maybe you're in a Wintering season like this and would like some company as you navigate it. Or perhaps you want to be more prepared to embrace your next winter when it arrives. If so, I invite you to join The Return to Serenity Island. This course is designed to meet you where you are, offering a space to explore, reconnect, and grow from the inside-out. Sign up for The Return To Serenity Island "I would encourage everyone to engage with this fantastic experi...

In our February Book Club, we met to discuss ‘Wintering: The power of rest and retreat in difficult times‘ by Katherine May. Here are my notes on the book. Book Notes Katherine May describes “Wintering” as “a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you're cut off from the world, feeling rejected, sidelined, blocked from progress, or cast into the role of an outsider.” Through a sudden crisis, the loss of something or someone, or a gradual drift, Wintering is about allowing rest and retreat to come. Rather than fighting it, pretending it isn't happening, or wishing it away, Wintering is an acknowledgement that we can actively partner with the season and find healing, not despite it, but within it. “After all, you apply ice to a joint after an awkward fall. Why not do the same to a life?” September - Indian Summer We treat each winter as an embarrassing anomaly that should be hidden or ignored We may never choose to winter, but we can choose how Wintering is a moment when you need to shed a skin. This is a radical act - choosing to slow down, letting spare time expand, and getting enough rest. If you shed this skin, you'll expose all those painful nerve endings and feel raw. But if you don't, the old skin will harden around you. What are some of the default ways we resist and fight this process? October Making Ready The problem with doing everything is it ends up feeling like nothing. It's a haze of frantic activity, with all the meaning sheared away. Katherine talks about “cooking Autumn into the house” after being signed off from work with severe abdominal pain. The preparation of food provides anchors in space and time Preparing for Winter before it is with us - In Finland, the winter arrives suddenly, and you don't mess with it (having the wardrobe stowed away for when it comes) Daily routines keep us on an even keel All this time is an unfathomable luxury, and I'm struck by the uncomfortable feeling that I'm enjoying it a little too much Can I justify a walk when everyone else is doubling up to cover my job? The things that make us well are sources of guilt and shame (rest and healing are perceived as luxuries) Hot Water Katherine decided to cancel her big 40th birthday trip to Iceland - she didn't think she was physically strong or steady enough. But the biggest fear was judgement - are you even allowed to go on holiday when you're signed off from work? What would people think if they found out? But the doctor gave a YOLO permission slip and told her to go In moments of helplessness, I always seem to travel north. I find I can think straight, the air feels clean and uncluttered “In sauna” - Hanne is not talking about a building, she's talking about a state of being. For Finns, sauna is more than having a sauna, it's a cornerstone around which life is built - birth, death, deep conversations, and a ritual cleansing of body, mind, and soul Ghost Stories Halloween represents an invitation on the calendar, to acknowledge the present absences and absent presence of those we have lost It is also where we can occupy the liminal space between worlds, thoughts and feelings - where fear and delight become inseparable, life and death, inside and outside November Metamorphosis Amid the transformation of winter - the unwelcome change - is an abundance of life We meet Shelly, who tells her story of recovering from life-threatening bacterial meningitis - it's not a heroic tale of triumph over illness, there is no path or methodology, she just waited it out and carried on with life…she didn't witness it, she didn't have to look at her daughter in a coma (it was not her wintering - that came later when she was in a state of sofa surfing limbo after her parents moved to America and her relationship broke down) - she began a new creative project that on reflection represented a process of her own healing and regrowth

Have you ever been told to come out of your shell? It's a phrase many of us have heard, especially if we're introverted, sensitive, or reflective by nature. But what if this idea misunderstands the role of a shell? What if, instead of seeing it as a limitation, we saw it as a space of protection, growth, and creativity? In this week's episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we will explore the idea of shells—not as barriers to break free from but as integral parts of who we are. Whether you're an introvert, a highly sensitive person, or someone in a season of healing, your shell might just be one of your greatest strengths. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYb2V3ngrh0& Misunderstanding The Shell's Purpose Growing up, I heard the phrase “come out of your shell” a lot. Teachers used it in reports and at parents' evenings, describing me as shy, reserved, and needing to be more outgoing. It was a story I absorbed about myself: that being quiet or cautious was something to overcome. But as I've grown older, I've seen my shell differently. It's not a cage—it's a sanctuary and a studio. Where I retreat to process, create, and recharge. It's where I feel connected to myself and what matters most. And I'm not alone. For many of us, our shells are vital tools for navigating the world in a way that feels true to who we are. The issue with the phrase “come out of your shell” is that it assumes being quiet, sensitive, or introverted is a problem that needs fixing. It subtly implies that we must conform to the extrovert ideal—seeing loud, visible, and gregarious as the barometer of normality, against which behaviour is judged. But what if your shell isn't hindering you? What if it's enabling you to thrive? Or at least it has the potential to if you see it as a source of strength rather than a flaw. Shells in Nature: A Metaphor for Growth Nature offers us countless examples of shells, each with different roles and characteristics. Let's explore a few and see how they might reflect our own experiences: The Egg Eggshells are temporary. They protect us during vulnerable stages of growth or transformation, like a baby bird developing the strength to face the world. An eggshell might represent a period of healing, learning, or self-discovery for us. It's a space where we process experiences, feel safe, and prepare. Eggshells aren't meant to last forever, but hatching can't be rushed or forced. When we're ready, they crack naturally, and we emerge. The Turtle Unlike an eggshell, a turtle's shell is permanent. It's not just a home—it's part of the turtle's identity. And it's a tool to help them dig. Turtles don't leave their shells; they carry them wherever they go. For introverts or highly sensitive people, this might resonate deeply. Your shell isn't something to come out of—it's a sanctuary and a tool that allows you to navigate life on your terms. The Hermit Crab Hermit crabs don't grow their own shells—they find new ones as they grow. This symbolises adaptation and evolution. For us, it might represent a process of ongoing self-discovery. We might let go of old beliefs, communities, or creative expressions and try on new ones that fit who we're becoming. The Snail Snails carry spiral shells that grow with them over time. Each new layer represents a stage of growth. This might resonate with artists, writers, or anyone who sees their life as a slow, steady journey of self-expansion. The shell isn't a barrier—it's a space of creativity and transformation and their body of work. The Oyster Oysters transform irritants—like grains of sand—into pearls. Their shells are hard and protective but also create beauty from adversity. This might symbolise turning pain or challenges into art, wisdom, or connection. The Clam Clams have two-part shells that open and close in response to their environment. This represents the balance between connection and solitude. Like clams,

We've all heard the phrase, “the end justifies the means.” But in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I want to turn it inside out and explore this idea from another angle. What if, for some people, focusing solely on the outcome as the ultimate goal can lead to a dissatisfying and alienating approach to life? This question struck me as I emerged from a week-long rabbit hole. In the previous episode, I talked about unexpectedly diving into research about a self-help influencer and the questionable details surrounding their latest book. At first glance, it might have seemed like a distraction—a detour from what I “should” have been doing. When I sense myself going off the deep end, it's almost like slow motion. I can feel it happening but there's not much I can do to stop it. Once something stirs inside me at a deep level. So, despite my logical brain yelling, “Andy, no! You don't have time for this. Stop. Close that webpage. Put your phone away!” I find myself slipping into the rabbit hole anyway. “OK", rational brain continues. "See you in a week or so? Remember to eat! Bye.” The Path is The Inspiration This has happened many times over the years. There's often a nagging voice of judgment, telling me it's a waste of time, that I'm being pulled in a million directions. But recently, I've noticed a shift. Over the past two or three years, I've started to see these moments differently. Instead of dismissing them as irrelevant distractions, I've begun to ask new questions that help me stay focused. It's partly about mindset and my relationship with the subject, but it's also about the spirit I bring into the rabbit hole. And that's where the idea of “the means justify the end” emerges. For me, it's about trusting the process. I don't always know where I'll end up, but I know it will be okay because of how I choose to travel there. Experimental vs. Conceptual Approaches This reminds me of economist David Galenson's research on creativity, which I first encountered through my friend Kendra Patterson. She highlighted the distinction between experimental and conceptual innovators in a podcast about late bloomers. As William Landay writes in his article Experimental Writers vs. Conceptual Writers:“Experimental innovators are seekers. They're characterized by persistent uncertainty about their methods and goals. They're often dissatisfied with their current work but have only vague ideas about how to improve it. This dissatisfaction drives them to experiment, moving tentatively toward imperfectly perceived objectives. No matter how much progress they make, they rarely consider their work a complete success. In contrast, conceptual innovators are finders. They're marked by certainty about their methods, goals, or both. This clarity allows them to work methodically toward their objectives, often feeling they've fully realized their vision in a particular work.” For conceptual innovators, the end justifies the means. But for experimental innovators, the means justify the end. It's more about the journey than the destination. The process itself brings the “end” into focus, even if it doesn't feel complete. It's a waypoint on a road to nowhere, anywhere, and everywhere. Are You an Experimental Type? When I first heard about this distinction at the end of 2020, it sparked something in me. I recognised myself in the descriptions of experimental creativity. My projects never turn out as I expect them to, and I feel restricted by SMART goals or rigid outcomes that demand a fixed course of action. Around the same time, I created The Return to Serenity Island, a project that became a way for me to creatively process this discovery and reshape my relationship with goal setting and personal growth. It was a departure from the “start with the end in mind” paradigm I'd been taught in coaching courses—an approach that assumes you'll drift, waste time,

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share a video essay about influencer culture, asking where self-help guru Mel Robbins really discovered the idea for her latest book, The Let Them Theory. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ_xip3l1io& I fell into this rabbit hole after seeing a post on Threads about an article by Sage Justice. This questioned whether Mel Robbins had appropriated the "Let Them Theory" from a movement started by a poet named Cassie Phillips. It caught my attention because several friends and clients had mentioned the book recently. So, on a quest for the truth, I dug beneath the surface to see whether the claims had any weight. It didn't take long for me to unearth some concerning holes at the heart of Mel' s Let Them Theory origin story. Where This "Let Them" Moment Arose Towards the end of 2022, a poem by Cassie Phillips ignited a viral movement among individuals sharing it, discussing their experiences, and posting photographs of their tattoos. On 19th May 2023, Mel Robbins released a video sharing she had just heard about the Let Them Theory. The popularity of this short video revealed a market for the idea. And by the end of 2024, she release her book called The Let Them Theory through Hay House. No Mention of The Let Them Movement Robbins refuses to acknowledge Cassie, the poem, or the ongoing movement within the book. When asked by The Guardian about this omission, she doubled down, implying it is ancient wisdom. She has also been using media appearances to reinforce the story that individuals began getting tattoos after reading her book. But, as I demonstrate see in my video, social media was full of Let Them tattoos long before Mel Robbins "discovered" the Let Them Theory. The two articles by Sage Justice: Mel Robbins and Plagiarism and Can Mel Robbins Trademark Your Words? provide an in-depth look at the origins of the "Let Them" idea. They include an interview with Cassie Phillips and social media evidence showing that the movement was already gaining traction in 2022—long before Robbins entered the picture. A Questionable Origin Story What's particularly troubling is the narrative Robbins has constructed around the theory. She retroactively claims to have discovered it at her son's prom in May 2023, but her original video about the theory was posted the day before the prom. This inconsistency and the lack of credit given to Phillips raise red flags about the authenticity of Robbins' story. This story has been conceived, practiced, and performed at almost every appearance she has made on prominent platforms with highly influential figures. As I fell deeper into this rabbit hole, I couldn't help but feel a sense of quiet outrage. It's one thing to be inspired by someone else's work and join forces with a movement. But it's another to appropriate and profit from it, knowing the size of your following and the powerful influence of your contacts will overpower the place of founder. I know people who have found value in Robbins' posts over the years. I don't want to diminish those experiences. However, it feels important to bring awareness so we can all make informed decisions about engaging with this book and its supporting materials. I am genuinely concerned about the broader implications of this story. It sets a dangerous precedent when influential platforms and figures like The Today Show, Oprah, Simon Sinek, and Kelly Clarkson don't questions about the validity of certain claims. Why Did Mel Robbins Not Mention The Let Them Movement? So, why has Mel Robbins altered this timeline? Why has she chosen to erase the fertile ground that led to the movement from which she is now profiting? Unfortunately, the answer may lie in the question itself. The allure of money and influence and the hope for a free ride when it comes to accountability and push-back. Which is why as readers (and those who influencers aim to influence),

Persistence has power—it can contribute to a better world, but it can also do the opposite, extracting value and coercing people without consent.

Active hope is not "blind hope" or wishful thinking. It's about taking action rather than sitting back and saying, "I hope everything works out OK," or waiting for the technological fix we want to believe is coming.

Numbers can topple buildings and spark change but can also reduce individuals to statistical fodder and data on a spreadsheet.

Without it, we gain nothing. Pain is love, creativity, compassion, and care. Without it, we gain nothing; we simply exist.

Discomfort can be a sign of, and a catalyst for change, a question that pokes and prods, tickling and shaking us awake, even when we would much rather still be asleep.

The randomiser wheel picked "Power Through". I'm currently using a tool to select phrases for my daily journal practice. They are all associated with the theme of Strength. At first, these words brought to mind experiences when I had no choice but to keep going. A looming deadline, the chockful calendar, a stag do, a festival, and the final push with the finish line in sight. Powering through requires a special kind of energy. Dipping in and drawing from the storeroom where I keep my deep reserves. This can feel glorious. It can feel rewarding. It can feel like a relief and something I wish never to repeat. To collapse in a heap at the end. The moment when Farmer Hoggett's words echo in my soul; “that'll do, pig. That'll do.” I can pack up, curl up, and rest. Letting The Body Prepare For as long as I can remember, I have experienced a kind of lethargy on the day of a gig. I often feel like I won't have the energy to perform. I seem to yawn through the afternoon, wondering how I will ever summon the inner resources to do what I need to do. “OK”, I would tell myself, “you've just got to power through”. As soon as I hit the road, I could feel the flow returning, and by the time I hit the stage, I was in the zone. I've come to accept this part of the process in all its frustrating mystery, trusting that the energy will come, however much it feels like there is no way I could not fall asleep at the piano. Over time, I've come to see that this is not about “powering through”; it's about letting things be. To power through turns it into a battle or fight. Like I'm in a constant wrestle with myself. And that takes a different kind of energy. On the other hand, letting things be is about surrendering to what I know is true, recognising that I won't feel up to performing in the lead-up to a gig, and remembering that my body is preparing and readying me for the performance. I don't need to fix that; I need to simply let it be. If I jump to my “power-through” reserves, believing I must intervene to feel up to it, I will derail my natural processes, hit the bottom of the barrel more quickly and need much more time to recover afterwards. Powering Through as The Exception, Not The Rule Humans are rhythmic, seasonal, and cyclical. Our bodies are remarkable and can power through when the situation demands it as the exception, not the rule. But when we are stuck in that mode, which is how we have designed many aspects of modern life, many people perpetually power through on the fumes of those reserves. It's no wonder we are burning out. If we are expected to be “on” constantly, we might perpetually wrestle with ourselves. Berating our inability to maintain the energy required to stay productive in what Byung Chul-Han calls achievement society. Excessive “can” positivity and self-optimisation paradoxically lead to burnout and fatigue because there are no natural stopping points. Even in rest and play, we have become trained in self-exploitative productivity in choosing and approaching leisure time. If it can't be measured, it's meaningless. If it's not helping us advance, then it's pointless. And when we reach the inevitable tipping point, we consume to help us escape, retreat, and numb ourselves. This often goes against our creative nature - the quiet voice inside telling us to slow down and sense the world around, within, and between us. All Power and No Play When considering creativity and nurturing a sensitive nervous system, we must unite and break free from these chains of toxic productivity. We can embrace and enjoy the times of blossoming and fruition. We can accept and attune ourselves to periods of fallowness and the in-between. Without silence, we cannot hear the music. Without margins, we cannot see the shape of things. Despite what some people want us to believe, we are not labouring machines. We can't keep pushing ourselves without paying a serious price.

The randomiser wheel picked "Stay strong and carry on". This month, I'm using a tool to select phrases for my daily journal practice. They are all associated with the theme of Strength. There is a difference between giving up and quitting. I've written about this before. To quit is usually an intentional decision. It is informed and considered. It requires courage to let go when something no longer serves its purpose, or you are no longer the person for the task. On the other hand, giving up happens when you no longer have the physical, mental, or emotional capacity to carry on, even if the task is meaningful and important to you. When You Can't Stay Strong Alone The willingness to continue might be physically destroyed when the body cannot function. Our opponent might have outplayed us to the point of exhaustion. Or it might give into someone who has relentlessly pressured us to comply with their demands. What does it mean to stay strong and carry on? What sort of strength do we need to maintain? Where does it come from? What does it look like? How can you stay strong when the body or spirit is broken and you are limited by more than your mindset? Strength Beyond Power Strength isn't about force and for humans, it is not the preserve of a single individual. It's not about domination and control. Instead, it's about resourcefulness, knowing what matters and why, and letting go of a drive for top-down compliance in favour of unity amidst disagreement. It's about rejecting the dominant narrative when it works to divide and conquer. The whole is more than the sum of its parts. We are better equipped to stay strong and carry on when we zoom out and do it together. This is why we need to embrace high sensitivity, not only as individuals, but as a species. It makes us stronger. Emperor Penguins insulate themselves from the harsh Antarctic conditions by huddling together to create and radiate heat through the collective. The strength of one penguin is dependent on the behaviour of the whole. And likewise, the survival of the whole is dependent on individuals huddling together. I find this a powerful image of collective strength, not as a source of domination and mastery over the weather but as a way to maintain their presence despite those conditions. We sometimes have a warped view of strength, often associated with the individual. But when this underpins our understanding of what it means to be human, we live life on a knife-edge. We are in a state of dysregulation, alert and unsafe, making decisions based not on what is best in the long run or big picture but on the here and now. Often at the expense of longer term prosperity and s An Empty Promise We are encouraged to hoard, steal, envy, and destroy in the name of strength. Even those who possess this kind of power are never at peace. They always look over their shoulder and wonder who is plotting their demise. Second guessing, pre-eminently striking, and causing a cascading wave to the bottom and lowering horizons rather than raising them and limiting potential rather than smashing down boundaries for all of us to explore. We stay strong and carry on when we build around a solid foundation together. When we know what matters, where we are going, and the abundant reasons, we all have a place here. This strength is grounded in the belief that we are creative and playful beings with the potential for unimaginable things. When mixed with a lust for domination, power, and control, these unimaginable things are barbaric. But when combined with a curious openness to love and care about ourselves, one another, and the future of this incredible planet, those unimaginable things are majestic. https://youtu.be/uqY0wma4xDY

Are you an armchair creative? You are great at learning, preparing, and researching a field, yet something often stops you from taking action. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we consider some things that stop us from acting and explore how to get out of the armchair in 2025. Armchair Certainty "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?” is a common question in coaching. While intended to free us from debilitating fear, it misses an important point. Knowing we can't fail leaves us feeling hollow. In The Twilight Zone episode “A Nice Place to Visit,” freshly deceased Rocky Valentine thinks he's in Heaven because he wins every bet and has every desire met. After a while, he tells his host, Pip that he doesn't belong in Heaven and wants to go to the other place. "Whatever gave you the idea that this is Heaven?" Pip responds. This is a depiction of Hell being an eternity without the possibility of failure. “What would you do if you knew you COULD fail?” I like this reframe because it accepts failure as a natural, even necessary, part of a meaningful life. Certainty, while comforting, stifles creativity because it deprives us of the friction required for meaningful action. Creativity In The Armchair As armchair experts, we might have accumulated lots of knowledge. We may have devoured books, taken courses, and watched hours of footage. But this knowledge is an arms-length understanding and doesn't give us the sensory or practical knowledge that can only come through stepping into the arena. In creativity, this can manifest as over-preparation: planning every detail, waiting for the “perfect” idea, or endlessly theorising without taking the leap. This intellectualisation offers a false sense of progress. As Mark Manson put it, “People get hooked on endlessly intellectualising their emotional patterns as a way to avoid doing anything about them.” Similarly, intellectualising creativity can mask avoidance. Deep growth begins when we leave the armchair and step into the arena, embracing the messy, unpredictable nature of creating. Action Breeds Clarity Songwriter Aaron Espe captures this beautifully: “The best way to have more happy accidents is to do more things. Simply thinking about doing things doesn't produce happy accidents. You gotta take action.” Whether it's songwriting, swimming, or starting a business, the act of doing reveals insights that theory cannot. The Paralysis of Armchair Analysis Overthinking often disguises itself as preparation. We might tell ourselves we're “just being thorough,” but in reality, we're avoiding vulnerability. The fear of failure, judgment, or even our inner critic can keep us stuck. One of my favourite expressions from Haven meetings in recent years is, "Playing is preparing." Creativity isn't about perfect execution; it's about feeling, practice, and exploration. We can do this in low-stakes ways. Happy accidents happen when we engage with the task before us, not when we think about engaging with it. It's impossible to think our way to a happy accident. The Courage to Be Misunderstood A typical creative block is the fear of being misunderstood. We worry our work will be misinterpreted, criticised, or fail to resonate. But this fear can suffocate creativity. As Brené Brown reminds us, true courage lies in stepping into the arena, risking failure, and embracing imperfection. One way to develop this courage is to experiment with letting ambiguity be ambiguous. It's in those gaps that the light gets in. Art that heals does so, not because it intends to but because it is free to land in a billion different ways. Embracing the Messy Joy of Creativity So, as we step into 2025, consider this our invitation to be intentional about our place in the armchair. If this feels alive for you right now, consider booking a “Pick The Lock” call with me. We can explore how to turn your creative urges into actionable, manageable,

Have you ever seen homes lit up at night and wondered what the lights in the windows say about the people inside? Just me? OK then! A recent neighbourhood walk left me thinking about three broad tendencies or archetypes that we might embody in our creative energy: The Host, The Artisan, and The Entertainer. The Host You know that warm, glowing light you see in the window of a house at night? Unless you're in a horror movie, there's something comforting about it. It's welcoming and can signal a sense of safety, telling us we're expected, or if we're lost, that there's a refuge waiting. Some people are like this. They have a beacon quality—inviting us in to rest, explore, and be ourselves. Their creative energy is collaborative and open. They make it feel safe to try new things, fail, and to discover surprising possibilities. Can you think of someone like this? The Artisan There are other houses where the lights are carefully strung—beautiful, intentional, and inspiring. These displays have been thoughtfully crafted. The result of care, skill, and attention to detail. People can't help but stop to notice and admire the display. Some people are like this. Artisans care deeply about the creative process. They put deep effort and dedication into exploring techniques, learning skills, and achieving excellence. Their creative energy pours through their love of the craft and appreciation of quality and they believe the work speaks for itself. Can you think of someone like this? The Entertainer Other houses have dynamic projected images on walls, trees, and lawns. These displays are intended to draw and focus the attention of onlookers, encouraging them to look at the surface on which the light is cast. Some people are like this. Entertainers shine with an audience to communicate with. Their creative energy flows when people pay attention and react to them. Can you think of someone like this? When the Environment Doesn't Align The world is beautiful because of the diverse flow of creative energy that comes through hosts, artisans, and entertainers. But what happens when our natural tendency doesn't match the environment we're in? It's not difficult to imagine how strong ego judgements about how people ought to be, could make someone who doesn't naturally fit the mould feel out of shape and alone. The Host in an Artisan World Imagine the a Host in a world that values polished results and technical mastery. Hosts who create collaborative spaces for exploration may feel inadequate or invisible. They might undervalue the importance of what they bring to the collective. The story they might adopt: “I'm not talented or valuable because I don't produce anything remarkable.” The Artisan in an Entertainer World What about the Artisan in an Entertainer world that only celebrates and rewards those who are front and centre? Artisans who find joy in the quality of the work they do might become drained by the pressure to self-promote and feelings of self-consciousness as peoples' attention is focused on them rather than their work. The story they might adopt: “I can't get the opportunities I deserve in a world that rewards style and confidence over substance and competence." The Entertainer in a Host World Then there is the Entertainer in a space that only values quiet and subtle connection? Entertainers who love to feel the creative flow through social connection might feel like their energy is too much and may be painted as a narcissistic attention seeker. The story they might adopt: “I take up too much space and annoy people.” ArchetypePotential StoryImpactSupportive ShiftThe Host“You're not talented enough.”Feels undervalued; doubts their role.Recognise that holding space is valuable.The Artisan“You need to put yourself out there.”Feels pressured to perform or promote.Let their work speak for itself; advocate for them.

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I sit down with returning guest and friend of the show, Leah Burkhart, founder of The Healthy Sensitive, to discuss a challenge many highly sensitive people face: defining boundaries when you're genuinely excited about everything. This might be especially true for the multipotentialites among us, who have many creative projects and interests in life. It's not about saying no to things we don't want to do—it's about creating space to understand the energy beneath the excitement. The Excitement Paradox: “Death by Opportunity” Leah and I explored the notion of "death by opportunity"—a burnout that stems not from external demands but from an abundance of internal excitement and possibility. It's the paradox of having no external limits on particular aspects of life: “The good news is, nothing is stopping us. The bad news is, nothing is stopping us.” Highly sensitive people often feel driven by curiosity, connecting dots and imagining what's possible. However, this expansive way of engaging with the world can become unsustainable when we lack filters to process invitations, opportunities, and excitations. Boundaries as a Conversation, Not a Wall When we hear "boundaries," we might think of barriers preventing access. But what if boundaries were framed as an invitation to listen to what is happening beneath the surface? A helpful perspective distinguishes between "not now" and "not yet." Some ideas need more time to incubate ("not yet"), while others aren't priorities during this season ("not now"). Boundaries are not prohibitions; they bring openness and space to slow down, pause, and let enthusiasm flow without rushing into action. Tools for Sustainable Engagement There are practical ways to define boundaries as the space between the urge to act and the decision to commit: Journaling: Use writing as a space to explore ideas without prematurely committing to them. Community Support: Surround yourself with people who can hold space for your ideas without pushing you to act on them immediately. Faith in the Pause: Urgency is often a red flag. If something still excites you after a day or two, it might be worth exploring. The Minimalists have their 30/30 rule: "If it costs more than $30, wait 30 hours before deciding." This works well for all kinds of things - immediate excitement might settle down after time. Even if the idea still compels us, we can start seeing it through a more realistic lens that fits our capacity and ability in the current season. Testing Ideas Gently: Engage with possibilities without turning them into sacred proposals. For instance, dedicate time to dream and explore wild ideas, then step back and recommit to what's already on your plate. What Does a "Hell Yes!" Feel Like? One of the central questions of our conversation was: How do we sustainably maintain authentic excitement? We talked about recognising the signs of overcommitment and embracing a slower, steadier form of enthusiasm. Instead of chasing every "Hell yes!" moment, we can look for the slow burn of "mmm yeah"—a quieter, more sustainable motivation that doesn't depend on perfect conditions to thrive. This notion of "Hell yes!" might look and feel very different to a highly sensitive person. A great way to consider this is whether or not "hell yes!" is a state in our nervous system. We would need to feel excited and enthusiastic to take action in the future. This is usually a sign of a project being unsustainable. Creativity, Community, and Boundaries Another key theme was the importance of trusted people and processes for sharing and developing ideas. We considered how prematurely sharing an idea with the wrong audience can lead to defensiveness or even shutting it down altogether. This weak back, defensive front, is the opposite of the gentleness (firm back, soft front) required to stand our ground and stay strong in the face of unwa...

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore the theme of nostalgia and "going back to basics". This was inspired by a recent community discussion. What are the basics and what does it mean to go back when time moves forward? In this episode, we consider our relationship with nostalgia and the subtle pull it can have on our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us. Topics Covered in This Episode The Allure of Nostalgia Why the past often feels simpler, safer, and more appealing. The potential dangers of believing this story. How nostalgia shapes our perception of the present and influences decision-making. Nostalgia as Utopia in Reverse The traps of idealising a perfect past or future. How can these narratives create antagonism, self-defeating mindsets, and resistance to sustainable growth? The Basics in Action A look at Vince Lombardi's famous “This is a football” story. What the "football" might be for each of us. What does this teach us about unlearning, re-learning, and preparing for uncertainty? Isomorphic Learning Insights from Lucy Easthope's work on disaster recovery. The temptation to fight the last war and prepare for the previous crisis. How building strong foundations equips us to face unpredictable challenges. Creative Freedom and Letting Go Why returning to basics can free us from the constraints of past success and external expectations. How letting go creates space for new ideas and growth. The Evolution of Traditions Exploring how rituals and ceremonies can help us find shared values across time and space. How ceremonial and sacred rituals often evolve from practical necessity. Core Reflections From the Episode How does nostalgia show up in your life? Are there ways it helps or hinders your present perspective? What " basics " ground you when life feels overwhelming or uncertain? How might simplifying your approach create space for new dots to connect? What did this episode bring up for you? https://youtu.be/E1Y1CBPj3EY

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore the Uncanny Valley. This was inspired by a video I published about Apple's marketing campaign for Apple Intelligence. It turns out I'm not the only one unsettled by their approach. It's interesting to contrast these Apple commercials with those for Google Gemini. Apple presents its AI technology as a tool for masking personal flaws and promoting insincerity. Conversely, Google has framed AI as a social companion that enhances self-expression. It gives advice, and makes suggestions to help its users work on their goals. In other words, they frame Gemini as a support to enhance people's competence, confidence, and knowledge where Apple helps people deceive and pretend to be more skilled and knowledgeable than they really are. A Voice From The Uncanny Valley The Gemini adverts got me thinking about The Uncanny Valley. There is something eerie about the way they demonstrate the technology. Not least, seeing users glued to the phone, on the other end of which is a friendly disembodied humanoid. They have anthropomorphised this technology, giving it an uncanny human voice and the platform of a constant companion. It is a friend, teacher, mentor, cheerleader, and coach—the ultimate human! Or, perhaps not quite human. The Uncanny Valley hypothesis, coined by robotics professor Masahiro Mori in 1970, describes the discomfort humans feel toward entities that are almost but not fully human. The valley exists when something moves from anthropomorphised traits, as seen in animations of talking animals, cuddly toys with facial features, and the projected thoughts and feelings we give to our pets, to unnervingly realistic human characteristics. These nearly humans freak many of us out. But why do some of us seem more impacted than others? High Sensitivity and The Uncanny Valley Those who score higher on the sensitivity scale (Highly Sensitive People) may experience the uncanny valley more intensely due to their deeper sensory processing and emotional attunement. HSPs may be unsettled by artificiality, preferring clear distinctions between what is and isn't "real". It's interesting to consider this a foundational biological survival instinct rather than one of ethics or morality. In other words, highly sensory people unconsciously scan the world around, within, and between us, looking for signs of safety and danger. When we encounter something that seems real but doesn't feel right, it might leave us unsettled, prompting us to investigate further to see if an impostorous threat lurks within. HSPs process information deeply and are attuned to subtle sensory cues. We might detect unnatural contradictions, such as mismatched tone or body language, at a subconscious level. This attuned sensitivity can lead to unease during interactions with AI chatbots and humanoids, where inconsistencies may create discomfort even if not immediately apparent. As AI technology advances, the line between human and machine becomes more blurred, making it harder for HSPs to discern artificiality. Why Do We Make Machines in Our Image? The tendency to anthropomorphise technology—creating machines that mimic human behaviour—raises questions about our desire to replicate human characteristics in machines. It's strange! Why do we do this? Maybe it's some "god complex", or we are simply trying to figure out what it means to be human by considering what is still missing from creatures that look and sound like us. But we don't need to do this, and the uncanny valley hypothesis indicates that we would be more successful at trusting technology if we didn't try to make them in our image. Think about fictional droids, like R2-D2 and BB-8 in Star Wars. They are loveable despite, nay, because of their non-human forms. Yet they have distinct personalities and a range of emotional expressions. On the other hand, more humanoid machines like C-3PO can be profoundly irritating despite havi...

Have you ever been the rebel who refused to move? Would you like to be?

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I crack open the words "Well Worn", our most recent Kota exploration in The Haven. What comes to mind when you hear those words? An established footpath, a threadbare object, or a pair of shoes that have served you well? Thread Bear “Well” can be about health, satisfaction, or abundance. Yet it can also signify something done with care and purpose. “Worn,” on the other hand, evokes the passing of time, established use, and tiredness. It's about what we put on, what shapes us, and what degrades over time. All of my life, I have been wearing them,the hand-me-downs, the pants too long,arms of sweaters stretched longer than mine,sleeves of shirts I rolled up like newspapers,those shoulders that would never stay in place,always remembering: we are here to fit in. And the very shoes that narrowed on my feet,I gave away or traded up for other people's soles.I have thought somewhere there must be menwhose socks don't shrink, whose buttons stay put,whose shirts never wear out at the elbows.I paid for what other people gave away. All of my life I wanted to stand tall,but as I grew up my clothes kept wearing out, whenin my child's heart, I only wanted the comfort of corduroy,a face that didn't need ironing, a crease that would stay put—these labels I hoped wouldn't rub off.—Michael Magee The Key Areas The prompt evoked a bunch of areas to explore in our gathering. I have attempted to touch on as many as I can remember in this episode. It took us in some helpful directions where we were able to think about our relationship with creativity, sensitivity, and the stuff that matters most in life. Wearing The Skin We Are In We talked about how skin can tell a story of our lives through callouses, scars, and the marks of time. We considered how thick skin is earned through persistence and repetition, not something you simply "have". The Beauty of Imperfection I shared my love for how dents, stains, and wear give character to things. They signpost us to memories and stories in ways perfection can't. Well Worn Strength We thought about analogies like sanding down wood, a tree's established tension wood, and knocking in a cricket bat as examples of how wear enhances strength, potential, and longevity. It helps us go further, sustain longer, and refine our abilities. A Well-Worn Punch Life will throw setbacks and surprises our way. What does it mean to wear these punches well? Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve We discussed the meaning of this phrase and whether it's possible to wear your heart on your sleeve well (or poorly). Traditions, Rituals, and Relationships Well-worn habits, rituals, and traditions for individuals, relationships, and communities can help us connect with meaning and creative presence. But they can also grow stale and stagnant. How can we tell the difference? Cliche and Jargon When words are overused, their original meaning can be diluted and impotent. To Repair or Replace We discuss the balance between repairing what we value and knowing when to let go of what's no longer serving us. Sentimental Value Items we love show the marks of time, love, and use. Their value transcends markets and money. Over to You How do you interpret the phrase "Well Worn"? I'd love to hear from you. If you fancy exploring with other gentle rebels, come and join us in The Haven.

Do you enjoy journeys to imagined lands? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, you will hear a special issue of Coming To Our Senses. I'd love you to join as I share my postcards from Serenity Island. Serenity Island is an imagined world representing life's many very real terrains, landscapes, and environments. I wonder how it will look, sound, smell, feel, and taste to you... If you enjoy the postcards from Serenity Island, you'll love the full course. Learn more at serenityisland.me Postcards From Serenity IslandComing To Our Senses | PDF VersionComing To Our Senses | Audio/Video VersionPostcard 1: I'm Back on Serenity IslandPostcard 2: The Lake of TranquilityPostcard 3: The Movement WaterfallsPostcard 4: The Curiosity CavesPostcard 5: The Owl ParkPostcard 6: The Mystery MountainsPostcard 7: The Overlook TreehousesPostcard 8: The Forest of PlentyPostcard 9: The Peninsula of PurposePostcard 10: Two Ships BridgePostcard 11: The Play Trail MazePostcard 12: Final Greetings (for now) Coming To Our Senses | PDF Version Read the PDF version of Coming To Our Senses Coming To Our Senses | Audio/Video Version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1PiMCO8-r0& Postcard 1: I'm Back on Serenity Island People end up on Serenity Island for many reasons. For some, it is a refuge during times of loss. For others, it provides an anchor when things feel unstable. And for some, it's somewhere to explore the voice of curiosity and intuition, which may be nudging them towards change. I wonder what you might find here. https://youtu.be/6I5ibgZdXKc “Serenity Island is filled with so many different pathways to experience change from the inside out. It opened my eyes to a wider world of possibility in a way that nothing else ever had. It is filled with music, story, practical information and advice, play and creativity, and best of all, wonder. All my senses are engaged and I create a Serenity Island that is all my own. I can't think of a better gift to give myself than that.” - Zoie Postcard 2: The Lake of Tranquility The Lake of Tranquility is in Serenity Island's region of personal health. It represents our emotional well-being and is somewhere to think about how things currently are, how we want them to be in future, and what we might plant around this part of our island to support that desire. https://youtu.be/uSQl51ObjeA Postcard 3: The Movement Waterfalls The Movement Waterfalls represent elements of our physical health, such as sleep, nutrition, and exercise. Use the trails for walking, running, and cycling, practice yoga overlooking the Lake of Tranquility, and find physio rooms, courts, pitches, and studios for anything you can imagine using that helps you give your body what it needs. https://youtu.be/TkoMqXLQwF4 "If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." – Lawrence J. Peter Postcard 4: The Curiosity Caves You find what you need in the Curiosity Caves to help you consider and care for your intellectual well-being. Networks of interweaving tunnels and passageways will stimulate your mind in meaningful ways that keep you engaged, interested, and growing. https://youtu.be/D_U-I7eQgxQ Postcard 5: The Owl Park The Owl Park has spots to camp, hang out, and create new memories with our favourite people. It's the part of the island where we think about the nature of our relationships with family and friends (including the friends we haven't made yet) and how we want those connections to look and feel. https://youtu.be/TjFZlpGnzVE Postcard 6: The Mystery Mountains In The Mystery Mountains, we can encounter the awe and beauty of the island's vastness.

You've probably experienced tiring shifts when moving between tasks, environments, and social contexts—from work to home, solitary to social, and stress to calm. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I explore how slip roads, rest stops, and bridges can help us match the pace and rhythm (speeding up and slowing down) of situations and environments. Oxford Services: The Meaning of Meaninglessness Twenty years ago (

I used to end each year by following a course that helped me set goals for the next twelve months. However, by the end of 2020, it stopped working for me. The image of goals as destinations in a GPS felt alien and inhuman. This was when I began using maps to reframe my energy and desire for change in a less linear, start-with-the-end-in-mind way. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I build on what we explored last time and look at how seeing life laid out on maps can be much more meaningful than thinking of it as little more than a linear experience. The Map From The Atlas of Experience by Louise van Swaaij and Jean Klare The GPS is Efficient and (Generally) Accurate In contrast to GPS systems, maps stand out because they don't dictate anything. Instead, they invite you to explore the many possibilities and make decisions based on what matters to you. You become part of the process rather than a passive follower. A GPS, on the other hand, narrows down your choices to one: the fastest, most efficient route. It thinks and chooses for you. A GPS might give you the option to avoid highways or toll roads, but you don't get much more input than that. And during the journey, you might not notice the places you're passing or where the route is taking you. A map, however, reveals more depth and detail, and you get to see where you'll be going and decide if there are any appealing detours along the way. I'm not suggesting we abandon modern technology to plan journeys (I am VERY grateful for it). But when it comes to metaphors for life, are we aiming to cut down journey time and get to the destination as quickly as possible? Or is there more value in taking the slower, more intentional route? In this episode, I explore what we lose with a GPS mindset and what we gain by using a map to guide our personal growth and life planning. The Playful Spirit of Exploration There's a close connection between this map metaphor and the concept of play. Playfulness isn't driven by purpose or outcomes. It thrives on unpredictability, spontaneity, and curiosity. It doesn't ask for a reason beyond “Just because.” When we approach life in this playful way, we can follow what feels right, move with curiosity, and trust the flow of things. But this approach can be abruptly interrupted when viewed through a GPS lens, where the questions are: What's the point of doing that? Does this have a purpose? Is this going to be relevant for the exam? The GPS mindset is purpose-driven, always seeking usefulness and efficiency. It doesn't always understand or appreciate the value of play. Even if it recognises the value of what we're doing, it often critiques how we're doing it, pushing speed and efficiency as the highest measures of worth. This voice says, “Don't do it like that. It's quicker this way. Trust me, you'll save time.” Many of us have experienced frustration when someone offers unsolicited advice on being more efficient and doing things quicker. It's not always the advice that irritates, but rather the implicit value system, which comes across as a universally applicable truth: speed = good. This highlights a clash in values, revealing that what matters to us may be less about efficiency and more about presence, quality, or the joy of the process itself. What Do We Lose With The GPS Mindset? Many goal-setting systems use the GPS metaphor, which can be helpful, but it's worth examining what we lose when prioritising efficiency and speed above all else. The GPS mindset encourages growth that's bigger, faster, and stronger. But why do we internalise this as the only way? Why should we grow as big as possible, as quickly as possible? When we adopt these values without question, we often lose sight of the heart of things—the core reasons why something mattered to us in the first place. This is why so many companies and services decline in quality as they scale.

What tells you you're performing? How do you know if you are playing? What causes play to turn into a performance? And what can we do to gently rebel against the apparent pressure to squeeze higher, faster, stronger performances from everything in today's world? Performance influences our lives, from work environments, people-pleasing in relationships, and filtering ourselves through social media. It's a tool that helps us convey something important to us. But we can get stuck there, especially in the midst of relentless achievement society. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we differentiate between the characteristics of performance and play. We examine the consequences of mixing them up and assess how it impacts who and how we are in a world that doesn't encourage rest. Recognising The Characteristics of Performance I unpack some performance characteristics and how we can recognise them in ourselves and the world around us. Outcome-Oriented Performance focuses on a desired result (i.e. delivering an experience, perception, or outcome) Partial or Exaggerated Performance involves elevating and hiding specific characteristics and elements. Caring What Others Think Performance is externally motivated, shaped by how others respond. Rehearsed Performance is planned and rehearsed. Even improvisation occurs within pre-determined parameters. Time-Limited It takes place with deadlines and time constraints, whether it's a workday, a presentation, or a party. The mask can be removed when the performance is over. Clear Communication Performance is about clear communication to evoke thoughts and feelings in the audience. The Centre of Attention Performance involves holding, seeking, or commanding attention from others. https://youtu.be/5MVLM2q9mlA How To Recognise a Spirit of Playfulness So, how is playfulness different from performance? Being in the Moment Play is underpinned by flow, and the player is untethered from awareness of big-picture goals and time constraints. Spontaneity Play is open to exploring new directions and possibilities, even if they don't appear to make sense and deviate from previous paths. Responding to Feel and Flow Play is internally driven, unencumbered by external judgments or goals (it doesn't require external rewards, recognition, or approval). Unpredictable Outcomes Playfulness evolves naturally towards unexpected results (it's often hard to predict where it will end up and how it will get there). Illogical and Hard To Define Play doesn't follow logical steps towards desired outcomes, making it ambiguous and difficult to categorise. Not the Centre of Attention When in a playful flow, the player lacks self-consciousness (i.e. the direction they take isn't influenced by the attention they receive). Oscillating Between Play and Performance Play and performance are not mutually exclusive. The creative process, for example, oscillates between the two. First, we open and explore the possibilities. From there, we can hone in, narrow down, and give form to ideas we want to develop further. This non-linear dance goes on. Knowing whether we want to be playing or performing at any given moment is helpful. Performance Sabotaging Play Focusing on performance can stifle playfulness, leading to stress and reduced creativity. Play Disrupting Performance Excessive playfulness in contexts that require structure and clarity can hinder achieving specific goals. The Return To Serenity Island The Return to Serenity Island is relaunching soon. It's an immersive, self-paced course that offers space to explore your values and desires within a spirit of play. It follows a gentle narrative arc with soundscapes, creative prompts, and exploratory videos to inspire you to think of your life as an island rich in potential and promise. We will be meeting for six online weekly picnic sessions ...

Would you say you have fire in your belly? What does it burn for? I love exploring this question with highly sensitive people, many of whom have a deep, smouldering fire within. This fire is often linked to our values, beliefs, and personally compelling principles. I love helping people explore and (re)connect with this inner fire, supporting them to figure out how to harness it in unapologetic ways. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we will consider what this fire looks, feels, and sounds like. We'll also explore how it can sometimes get extinguished, hidden, or even escalate beyond control. We think about how to fuel, harness, and express our inner fire in ways that resonate with us as individuals. What does it mean to have a fire in your belly, and how can we express it without conforming to others' expectations? As Dorcas Cheng-Tozun said about social justice for the sensitive soul, we don't have to fit into anyone else's boxes when it comes to expressing ourselves. The fire in everyone's belly burns differently, and how we process and turn it outwards is equally unique What is The Fire in Your Belly? It's usually a compliment when we say someone has fire in their belly. It speaks to a visible energy, enthusiasm, and sense of purpose that radiates from within. But this phrase doesn't always account for those whose fire burns deeply and quietly and isn't as immediately apparent as the big, bright flames we might associate with explicit passion. For highly sensitive people, that inner fire is often potent. Fire In The Belly of Sensitivity If you search for definitions of "fire in the belly," you'll often find it described as a strong determination to succeed, emotional stamina, and an intense drive to achieve or accomplish something. These definitions highlight a particular kind of fire, focused on personal goals, winning, or attaining power and glory. They don't tell the whole story, especially for those driven by values and principles (how and why) more than outcomes (what) For many sensitive people, the fire in their belly is not about achieving for the sake of achieving. It's not the pursuit of bigger, better, faster, or stronger in a conventional sense. Personal achievements matter, but they are often most compelling when they resonate with a broader purpose or have a meaningful impact on the world around them. Dampening The Belly Fire The fire in our belly can go missing when we seek safe, predictable, and comfortable ways to navigate life. For example, the desire to avoid conflict can cause that fire to dim or even disappear over time. Feeling Too Much For highly sensitive individuals, the inconvenience their passions might cause others can feel too jarring, especially when there's a perceived incompatibility with others' views, values, or beliefs. The fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection can be a powerful motivator to keep that fire hidden. Standing up for something we care deeply about can feel risky when it threatens to create friction with those around us. This fear can lead to the suppression of our inner fire, keeping it tucked away where it feels safer but also less alive. The Role of Perfectionism Perfectionism is another factor that can dampen the fire in our belly. When we express our passions, we open ourselves up to the uncertainty and unpredictability of creativity. There's a vulnerability in allowing our fire to rise, in letting it breathe and take form, because we can never be sure what might come from it. The desire for perfection can keep us from taking those risks, leading us to stifle our fire rather than face the unknown. The Impact of Cold Buckets of Water And when others throw cold buckets of water—through criticism or dismissive comments—it can make us hesitant to let our fire show again. Caroline McGraw's shared how an offhand remark snuffed out her passion as a child. It's a reminder that the wrong words at a vulnerab...

We leave things in many places for a variety of reasons. The questions we explored in our Kota this week were: what is being left,… This post first appeared on The Haven: Let's Leave It There

Welcome to The Gentle Rebel Podcast, where we explore the intersection of high sensitivity, creativity, and culture. In this episode, we take a creative lens to the phrase “Let's leave it there,” inspired by a recent live Kota gathering in The Haven. This simple prompt opened up a rich bucket of ideas, and I'd love to share a few of the layers we started peeling back. Inspired By An Old Ironing Board It began with an old ironing board that I noticed outside someone's house on an evening stroll. It sparked a chain of thoughts: Who left it there? How did it end up there? Who is it for? My walk was consumed by thoughts of the many potential ways to look at the phrase, “Let's leave it there”. As well as physical objects like ironing boards and root vegetables (don't ask) we often use to signal the end of something—a project, an argument, a meeting. It's a way of acknowledging that we've reached a natural stopping point or closing something down, even if it's unresolved. Creativity and Patience In our Kota gathering, we explored how these words apply to creativity—for example, setting conditions for desirable habits and practices to happen without constantly tweaking and meddling. Being patient and trusting the process can be challenging when primed to expect instant results. However, impatience can lead to unnecessary tinkering, which might sabotage the natural rhythms and pace. Whilst "build it, and they will come" is not always true, we can create conditions (in suitable environments) that make the desirable thing a simpler and easier option. Creative Ecosystems We also discussed the joy of making creativity accessible. Leaving tools and materials out, ready to use, can make a huge difference. It's less likely to occur to us to play with something in its case and tidied away than if it's obvious and available. Sharing and Letting Go It can be hard to leave it there when it comes to sharing our creative endeavours with the world. We talked about literally leaving things in spaces for others to find, like hiding tiny storybooks, drawings, or poems in public places for people to discover and pass on. Leave It There - Enough is Enough Finally, we talked about knowing when to stop and trust the process. There are moments when, even though we might not feel ready, we know at a deeper level that we've done enough. We need to trust the part of us that made that decision and avoid the temptation to open up and run it "one last time", especially from a state of anxiety or fear, which might lead to new mistakes and unnecessary bonus panic. If any ideas we explored in this episode speak to you and you'd like to dive deeper with me, you can book a Pick The Lock call. If you'd like to peel back the layers on future prompts with me and our gentle hive of like-spirited folk, I'd love you to join us in The Haven.

Even if you aren't aware of its particular elements, you are familiar with the hero's journey. It underpins many of our favourite stories, used in PR and marketing, and informs the narratives around sports and celebrities. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I explore the personal and cultural impact of the hero's journey. We'll explore how it shapes self-worth, personal value, and the pursuits we deem meaningful. By contrasting it with elements of Kishōtenketsu narrative structure, which Kendra Patterson helped us explore in our recent Courtyard workshop, we will begin to consider different ways to perceive and respond to life's unexpected events. The Hero's Journey Archetype Joseph Campbell suggested that all mythic narratives throughout history and across cultures are variations of the same story—a hero's journey archetype. This concept picked up mainstream momentum in the 70s and 80s, after it influenced George Lucas in creating Star Wars. This was a tipping point for the monomyth, as it started to PRODUCE culture rather than deriving FROM culture. In other words, it went from being a description of the patterns Campbell concluded (cultures tell stories with similar archetypes) to a prescriptive model (here are the universal elements for telling a story). The textbooks started flowing and the hero's journey became ubiquitous. We see it in fields of psychology, marketing, and personal braining as well as books, TV, and film (including documentary-making). In this episode, I explore some of the implications of using the hero's journey to frame, perceive, and judge ourselves. We will spot some examples in culture. Including England's recent Euro 2024 disappointment, the story of Diana Nyad's swim from Cuba to Florida, and the tropes we see in some of our favourite TV shows. My intention isn't simply to poop on the party. But rather to become more sensitive to the hero's journey. When we recognise it, we can choose whether it's useful to us or not. We can then spot it being used to manipulate us into spending money, energy, and trust on bad actors. We will consider Kishōtenketsu as an alternative way of relating to the story we embody and tell with our lives. Rather than using conflict as a necessity for change, what happens when we relegate it to tangential and contingent parts of life that we choose our response to instead? In the episode, we consider: Ways the hero's journey creates a conflict with reality as its source of meaning How the hero's journey structure has become embedded in marketing and PR Why I get frustrated at the types of pitches I am often sent by people wanting to appear as guests on the podcast The unrealistic expectations the hero's journey sets and its impact on self-judgment and societal pressures The role of conflict in Kishōtenketsu compared with a hero's journey How highly sensitive people might get subsumed into other peoples' hero's journeys (using the movie, Nyad as an example of this) Kishōtenketsu, through a "guy walks into a bar" joke by TB Mckenzie, demonstrates how this narrative structure uses conflict as a tangential element rather than a central premise Links Listen to Kendra's episode about calming effects of Kishōtenketsu on Stepping Off Now Learn more about the Haven Courtyard workshop For further reading on Kishōtenketsu, check out Adeline Bindra's article. https://youtu.be/5vIKpOsIrP4

Each of us has a unique sense of adventure. What does yours feel like? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Sarah Lister, who runs About The Adventure, a career and life coaching business that helps people connect with what brings them to life as they navigate change. I love Sarah's approach to this topic and how she holds each person's needs within their unique spirit of adventure. The deer that delightfully derailed Sarah's sunset photographing quest one evening A Sense of Adventure Use this episode as an opportunity to reflect on the distinct elements that make up your personal sense of adventure. We explored the potential characteristics of adventure. For Sarah, it involves nature, spontaneity, a sense of challenge, and being somewhere out of the ordinary. But it also carries the openness to pause and breathe, to have the courage to stop walking and respond to the invitation of a particular moment. Whether it's stopping for a cup of tea with strangers or delaying a trek to photograph an unexpected deer on the hillside. There are a lot of juicy metaphors for life in this conversation and stuff worth reflecting on if you want to live a meaningful life. Recognising Our Sense of Adventure We might think of the "sense of adventure" as we think about a "sense of humour". While it's not a direct physical sense like touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing, it's something personal that keeps us in touch with what it means to feel alive and be ourselves. Adventure is not simply about the thrill of the unknown but also about our relationship with perceived possibilities, obstacles, and the creative potential we see in the path ahead. It's a key ingredient in living with a compelling sense of meaning. In our conversation, Sarah and I talk about: How to find adventure in the landscapes and environments around us Sarah's relationship with adventure and times in her life when her adventurous spirit shrunk The threads between imagination, daydreaming, and adventure When Sarah thought she was having fun but really was lost, and how she found her sense of self again Why adventure doesn't need an end goal, destination, or quest attached to it The role of safety in a successful adventure (and how we can increase confidence amid uncertainty by carrying the right resources with us) How to keep the adventure going even when the particular journey ends And more... Over to You What would you include in your list of adventure elements? Let me know by leaving a comment, sending a message, or contacting me via social media. Links About The Adventure (Sarah's Website) Sarah's Instagram The Haven A Blimp from the Blue: Using The Kishōtenketsu Story Structure as an Antidote to the Hero's Journey (Courtyard Workshop with Kendra Patterson) Atlum Schema - Year 0 https://youtu.be/jmA25xe8Aso

Have you ever had a project derailed by a shame attack? Shame can sweep through, telling us we are not worthy, acceptable, or enough. It can be amplified by comparisonitis, where we judge our messy insides with our perception of other peoples' shiny exteriors. Val Nelson, a career and business coach, specialises in working with highly sensitive and introverted individuals. She wrote this article about dealing with comparisonitis and shame attacks, which I was excited to dive into with her. Many people have felt like black swans in a world that often fails to provide the right conditions for HSPs to thrive. While shame is not exclusive to quiet and gentle souls, it can be particularly challenging for those who have learned to view their natural needs and preferences as a problem to hide, dismiss, or overcome. So I invited Val onto The Gentle Rebel Podcast to explore how shame can cause us to shrink back and hide from their dreams, ambitions, and needs. I wanted to explore the words "comparisonitis" and "comparonoia," which can leave us feeling isolated and alone as we look at the world around us and tell ourselves unsupportive stories. In Our Conversation, Val and I Explore: The nature of shame attacks and the signs of one appearing How humour and playfulness are one of our most significant resources Why it's so hard to give ourselves what we need in the face of shame (even when we know what we ought to do) Personal experiences of shame attacks Val and I have been through recently How to listen to the message beneath the noise when we feel like things are not going to plan What it means to take ourselves less seriously (without undermining the integrity of our work) Over to You What are you taking away from this episode? Have you experienced a shame attack? I'd love to hear from you in the comments, via a message, or through social media. Links Val's website Connect with Val on Linkedin Would you like to strengthen your defences in the face of bubbling shame attacks and "comparanoia"? If so, I would love to help you develop a strategy to use through a Pick The Lock call.

I've had a consistent journaling habit for twelve years. I use a digital journal (Day One), which has worked well for me. But I realised earlier this year that my practice has become a bit stale and uninspiring. So, I wanted to breathe new life into it. Mandy Thompson joined us in The Haven Courtyard recently. She led a workshop exploring how to build a vibrant and strong journaling habit that works for each of us as individuals. We wanted the workshop to help breathe life into a journal habit, no matter where you're currently at with it. Maybe you want to start a journal but struggle to get going Perhaps you journal occasionally but don't maintain the consistency you desire You might feel stuck in a rut with your journal and in need of a fresh approach In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I explore why I choose to journal the way I do (and what I want to change in my practice). Building a Journal Habit Together Mandy shared some tools, tips, and techniques to help us start, maintain, or rejuvenate a vibrant and strong journaling habit. But as with any habit, it's not always easy to put the theory into practice. This is why I've scheduled four "Creative Journal Circle" sessions in The Haven every Friday throughout July. These will provide space for encouragement, accountability, and inspiration. The sessions are for those who want to build momentum with their journal habit. We can share how we're getting on, encourage one another, and try a simple exercise together. So even if we haven't added anything to our journal all week, we won't finish it empty paged. The Haven trial period has increased to 28 days, so it's the perfect time to come and dip your toes in. You will get access to the Creative Journal Circle (and other gatherings), and have chance to look at the other resources available to members. Learn more here.

Lizzie Campbell is a polymer clay artist who creates under the name Clay Disarray, and wow, she's phenomenal! Her intricate modelling brings characters and cultural figures to life, and it is mesmerising to see. I discovered Lizzie through a YouTube video in which she delved into the challenges artists face today. Her unique perspective as a highly sensitive and autistic artist sheds light on the struggles many artists are currently grappling with, such as the impact of COVID-19, the cost-of-living crisis, artificial intelligence, social media algorithms, and Brexit. Inspired by her gentle tone and wisdom, I invited Lizzie to the Gentle Rebel Podcast to delve deeper into these issues and learn more about her journey with art, creativity, and neurodivergence. https://youtu.be/-t6kzkexYcc We Explored A Bunch of Topics Including: How Lizzie got into polymer clay modelling Why she takes inspiration from horror movies The relationship between creativity and neurodiversity, including high sensitivity and autism Why HSPs might be reluctant to think of themselves as creative The challenges for artists in a post-Covid, post-Brexit world Some of the stranger ways AI is posing a problem for professional creative people and artists Why the fan art community receives criticism Why social media algorithms can make it harder for artists to connect with the right people How we can support our favourite artists (and keep sustaining the arts) in the modern world Over to You What are your thoughts on this episode? I'd love to hear from you. Share your insights by leaving a comment, sending a message, or reaching out to me on social media. Links Lizzie's website Lizzie's YouTube Channel Twitter | Mastodon | Instagram What Were They Thinking? My AI Music Video Patreon

In this special episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I'm thrilled to unveil the first issue of Coming To Our Senses. This online audio/visual zine for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) is an immersive exploration of the intersection of high sensitivity, creativity, and culture. The zine's launch coincides with the 10th Anniversary of The Haven, which started in June 2014. While it looked pretty different back then, its underlying essence has always been the same - providing a space for gentle rebels to gather and grow together. I hope that Coming To Our Senses will become an ongoing collaborative heartbeat of our community. It reflects the spirit of The Haven, with members providing inspiration, suggestions, and creative contributions to the content. https://youtu.be/OBS6AMGdBfU Why a Zine For HSPs? The underlying vision is to integrate and normalise high sensitivity in everyday life. I want to create space to slow down and show how highly sensitive lenses offer a valuable and transformative way of seeing and holding ourselves, one another, and the culture we swim in. But also to invite a playful spirit that helps us hold on to life with lightness and humour. I firmly believe that by creating an environment that allows sensitivity to flourish and express itself, we can catalyse profound personal and societal transformation. This approach to change is not a grand, booming endeavour, but a subtle, infectious one. As we embrace our own sensitivity, we naturally grant others permission to come to their own senses, leading to new ways of seeing, feeling, and engaging with the world that reflect their unique sensitivity and potential. I'm currently unsure how often I will publish the Coming To Our Senses zine. My initial desire is monthly, but every two or three months might be more sustainable. All editions (and versions) are available to download in The Haven membership. Non-members can read and listen to the latest issue here. The First Issue of Coming To Our Senses You can hear the first issue (Tranquility) in this Gentle Rebel Podcast episode. Read the written edition here, and watch the video/audio version on YouTube. I hope you enjoy it! I'd love to know what you connect with and would potentially like more of in this zine of HSPs. Leave a comment or drop me a message. And if you like it, please do share it with others!

As a highly sensitive multipotentialite, Yvonne Kjorlien has many creative interests, passions, and pursuits. She studies scattered and scavenged remains to help increase the recovery rate of human remains in outdoor contexts, enabling law enforcement personnel to close forensic cases and provide closure for families. She is also an author, blogger (The Reluctant Archeologist) and writing coach for those bringing new work into the world. I was inspired by the multifaceted nature of Yvonne's personal and professional interests and invited her to join me to explore them in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast. This one is for you if you naturally gravitate towards various pursuits and what others might describe as diversions. It can be liberating to hear from people who have connected unexpected dots and forged new pathways based on what brings them to life rather than what socialised stories tell them to do. I hope this conversation will bring you peace, encouragement, and inspiration. https://youtu.be/OwMmPcg-8Zo Yvonne and I dug into a whole range of topics, including: How to be a multipotentialite (holding a range of interests and pursuits) in a world that wants to put you in a box Why labels can be a help and hindrance when making our way in the world How subverting labels taps into a primal sense of risk (and can make others uncomfortable) What it means to dig and excavate our stories in a healthy and exciting way How we might recognise the messages our body is sending in response to opportunities, requests, and stimuli The power of asking why (and doing it in a way that opens us up rather than closing us down) Over to You What are you taking away from this episode? Are you a multipotentialite? Let me know by leaving a comment, sending a message, or contacting me via social media. Links Yvonne's Website The Reluctant Archaeologist Blog Memoirs of a Reluctant Archaeologist (book) Follow Yvonne on Instagram

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Margarit Davtian who is a consumer rights activist, social scientist, and "cult slayer". She exposes deceptive marketing practices, cult psychology, and New-Age conspirituality trends in the coaching industry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjxP30X9Asg& Margarit, one of the founders of Ethics For Coaching, helps individuals seeking support in life coaching, business consulting, and self-help industries—the project shields against grifters and scammers who exploit vulnerable positions with undeliverable promises and unethical practices. Ethics for Coaching's mission is to educate, support, mediate, and raise awareness, giving consumers the power to make more informed choices. They aim to be a reassuring presence in an industry that can sometimes be hyped up, confusing, and misleading. As you will know if you've been listening for a while, this is an area I am increasingly passionate about. I have seen bad actors take advantage of the trust and hope of good people, who have been convinced to spend ridiculous amounts of money on "high ticket offers" that promise the world and deliver disappointment. Calling Out Multilevel Marketing Scams and Coaching Cults I believe that coaching is a fantastic tool that can help us unpick challenges and find clearer ways forward in a desirable direction. So it's frustrating to see so many horror stories of its manipulative misuse by bad actors. I hope this conversation contributes in some small way to highlighting signs of a multilevel marketing scams and coaching cults so we can all distinguish between good and bad practices and make more informed decisions about what we are looking for and what a particular person is offering. Margarit and I delve into the Four Pillars of Ethical Coaching. These are beneficial not only for coaches but also for clients, who should understand what to expect from the coaches they work with. The Elements of Ethical Coaching Include: Clear expectations and outcomes Be collaborative, non-judgemental, and willing to accept feedback as a coach Deliver on your promises (and promise no more than you can deliver) Communicate with clarity and honesty Don't use scarcity and urgency marketing tactics Don't use mindset manipulation tactics to overcome objections No high-pressure selling Understand potential sources of emotional/psychological harm Don't use coercive control (e.g. programming fears/phobias or using thought-terminating cliches) Commit to establishing competence and maintaining professional boundaries Establish contracting between coach and client Be open about areas of knowledge and expertise (and what is beyond your scope) State and clarify objectives and outcomes Testimonials should only be used with explicit permission No coercive conditions for joining a program (e.g. you MUST share a positive testimonial) Make relevant qualifications, certifications, and credentials known Include refunds, plagiarism, risk management plan (how a client knows what to do when they have a concern) Want to Know More About Ethics For Coaching? They are looking for coaches who are passionate about this stuff to continue the work they've started. Find Margarit on Instagram and YouTube Conscious Revolution Podcast | Substack

You've may have uttered these words. I have, many times! That's why the phrase contains potential for some playful excavation. This post first appeared on The Haven: I Can't Wait

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I talk about some things that came out of our conversation in The Haven around the prompt, "I can't wait". What do you struggle to wait for? https://youtu.be/sAeb-3AlzhI There are many angles from which we can look at these words. What comes to mind for you? Maybe you can't wait for something to arrive. Perhaps you can't wait for it to be over. Or maybe you get tetchy or anxious when you're forced to wait. I Can't Wait... For the next episode. For kick-off. To feel better. Around. To get on the road. To get this over with. To get there. …it makes me testy. To see you. For this to start. For this to end. To leave. For the lunch break. To go. …it makes me anxious. To get home. …I need to keep myself busy. What else comes to mind for you? In The Episode, I Explore: Patience and Impatience (rushing into decisions that naturally take time) Excitement and possibility (allowing ourselves to look forward) Pausing to check vs checking ourselves (highly sensitive people might respond more slowly AND quickly to stimuli) How the impermanence of things can help us be more peaceful in the present, and less likely to wish away time The power of anticipation, expectancy, and bad endings Join the conversation in The Haven: https://the-haven.co https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzDsxewUa5s&

Over the past few years, there have been a bunch of developments in sensitivity research. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share some reflections on the Second International Conference on Sensitivity Research. It was organised by Michael Pluess, Francesca Lionetti, and Corina Greven through The University of Surrey. In all honesty, academic presentations aren't really my cup of tea. My mind drifts too easily. But I munched on bananas and persevered because I really think this stuff matters...I was helped by the recorded replay too. So I hope this episode helps others who are interested in the essence of sensory processing sensitivity research right now. https://youtu.be/FkGsvdA3htw “If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else." - Douglas Adams I want to understand these developments, so I'm taking on a challenge; to piece together what I've learned from the research and explain it as best as possible. A lot of information was packed into three hours, and I have tried to grasp as much of it as possible. But I very much welcome those with more expertise to help clarify, contradict, or correct any misunderstandings. The full text version of my conference summary is available here. The Sensitivity Research Presentations: Highly Sensitive Children in the School Context (Jenni Kähkönen) High Sensory Processing Sensitivity: Blessing or Challenge? (Veronique de Gucht) - here's the SPS Monitor Questionnaire Genetics of Environmental Sensitivity and its Association with Mental Health and Wellbeing (Elham Assary) Sensitivity and Overstimulation (Sofie Weyn) Attentional Capture and Sensitivity (Robert Marhenke) Effects of Sensitivity and Childhood Family Conflict on Objective Stress Responding (Sophia Bibb) Measurements of Sensitivity (Panel Discussion) Over to You Did anything surprise you in the research? Are there any areas or topics that you would love to see researchers explore in the future? If you'd like to clarify or correct anything, please do share a comment below. And if you fancy chatting with me about anything mentioned in the episode, I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a message. The music you will hear in the episode is a piece I wrote as I was piecing the show together. Writing music gives me breathing space when I need to reflect on, understand, and retain information without looking directly at it. Here is the whole track (the video is of a train that went past when I was waiting for mine about an hour before the conference "started". https://youtu.be/lzDsxewUa5s

Over the past few years, there have been a bunch of developments in sensitivity research. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share… This post first appeared on The Haven: The Second Conference on High Sensitivity Research – What's New?

Can Artificial Intelligence help us embrace, explore, and celebrate our human creativity and sensory sensitivity even MORE deeply? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Marc Winn about the impact of generative AI on our creative spirit. We step beyond the unhelpful binary debates that tend to view the complex tangle of technology adoption as all good or all bad. We begin with the most important starting question: What do we want to use it for? And how can it help us become more human, more playful, more attuned to our senses, and less mechanical and robotic? https://youtu.be/TjGD4kWjGbw How Can Artificial Intelligence Help Us Become More Human? Marc has dedicated the past 14 years to helping people find their way in a rapidly changing world. He focuses on AI and how embracing it isn't just about technology—it's about people. Through AI Adoption groups, Strategy Days, and long-term Partnerships, he focuses on the human side of digital transformation. Marc is also the author of The 50 Coffee Adventure: A Fun, Light and Easy Way to Build Connections—One Magical Conversation at a Time. In the episode, Marc and I Discuss: The role generative AI can play in giving people who have always struggled simple ways to express themselves Why art is deeply misunderstood (and often overlooked) in its role in changing the world How art has a role to play in helping us meet the significant challenges of our time The link between burning out and building things in other peoples' image rather than your own (and what it means to live from that authentic place within us) Why Marc believes you have more of a chance of changing someone's life by making mistakes rather than delivering perfection Fears and hopes about the post-consumption age of creativity and how mass participation will become a new normal How AI supports and can enhance creativity (rather than replace it) I enjoyed this conversation a lot. It gave me a fresh perspective on things I hadn't considered before. Over to You What were your takeaways? How do you feel about this stuff? Share your response in the comments or drop me a message. Marc's Links Book a Coffee with Marc Moving Fast Together - The Human Side of AI Adoption (Marc's Presentation) 45 Minutes of Marc's Life That Got Out of Hand Marc's Website | Marc's Blog

If you're a freelancer or solo practitioner, you likely need to wear many different hats to keep your business going. It can be tiring and confusing at times. An understandable trend in the age of algorithmic social media is people donning the social media marketing hat more and more, sometimes at the expense of their core craft. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I chat with my friend, Adam Kawalec. He explains what he means when he says he's a coach, not a marketer or social media influencer. He describes how he's intentionally built his business through word-of-mouth referrals and relationship marketing. https://youtu.be/JpViYWqPN7w?si=4KcI4tj8PjFq_jcS In our conversation, Adam demonstrated what happens when we shift our focus from persuasion, traffic, and engagement to depth, connection, and potency. The invitation to find more meaningful, gentle, and person-centred ways of building a sustainable business left me feeling hopeful and enriched. This goes against the growing trend where the drive for social media influence trumps professional training and development. This is why I wanted to speak with Adam about the ethicality of coaching and how to remain focused as a coach not a marketer. Ethics For Coaches and Marketers It's a companion to the episode with Megan Malone when we considered the cost of reputation damage to coaching as a trained skillset due to a series of documentaries and exposés highlighting nefarious, manipulative, and abusive practices performed by people calling themselves coaches. It often happens when the focus on developing skills as a coach is gradually eroded and replaced by marketing and sales. During our discussion, Adam mentioned the Ethics For Coaching project. It's a crucial initiative to educate consumers and support coaches in practising their craft with integrity, safety, inclusivity, and professionalism. This project's four pillars serve as a guide, highlighting red flags to watch out for and expectations you can have with a safe and competent coach. Much of it speaks to the question of whether someone is a competent coach or simply a persuasive marketer. Stay tuned for my conversation with Margarit Davtian, a board member of EFC and a consumer rights expert, who sheds light on the project's mission and her role in it. In the episode, Adam and I explore: Why marketing doesn't have to feel like marketing when you approach it in the right way Ways coaching differs depending on the setting (and the stakeholders) The difference between traffic marketing vs relationship marketing Ethical responsibilities when marketing and practising as a coach The importance of slowing down if you want to speed things up What it means to be truly remarkable, and how to be so good they can't ignore you Finding the sweet spot in your daily rhythm to commit to growing without burning out Over to You What are your thoughts on the topics we discussed? I'm eager to hear your takeaways. Feel free to share your comments or drop me a message. Connect with Adam Website: https://adamkawalec.com/ Inside The Comfort Zone Podcast

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we delve into the intriguing concept of voice, the third element of our creative spirit that we've been looking at recently. Check out the episodes on Sound and Noise if you haven't already done so. What do we mean when we talk about creative voice? Is it something we are born with or something we develop? https://youtu.be/cUpv9_mrik0 Character is inadvertently forged in our workshops of adversity.Performance is intentionally forged in our workshops of necessity.Voice is the taste we leave for others.Character can be flexible or brittle.Performance is a wall or a window.Voice is sweet or bitter. I intuitively wrote down those words when preparing and attempted to untangle their meaning during the episode. Other Things I Explore In The Episode: How art transcends anyone else's desire for it Ways we lose our voice in the pressure to fulfil, please, and satisfy an external demand Voice isn't easy to describe, and it can't be contrived Performance as shaping, forging, fabricating, embodying (and how performance can be a window or a wall - deepening or alienating our relationship with our voice) Mr Rogers described Voice as "something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person." Ways to find your voice after losing it What other people can tell us about the sound of our voice So, what does voice mean to you? I'd love to read your reflections. Share them in the comments or drop me a message. The Fireside Membership | Sound, Noise, Voice The Fireside Membership offers a unique opportunity to step back from life's distractions and disturbances. It's a place to reconnect with who you are and consider how you would love your life to look in the future. The membership materials, between session reflection questions, and personalised coaching calls are designed to support you in your endeavours. Whether you have a particular challenge you want to overcome, a project you would love to complete, or you're looking for a clear way forward. I designed the program to help you come home to your innate creative spirit and accomplish your aims on YOUR terms and in YOUR way.

The noise we encounter can significantly impact how we perceive the world and what we believe about it. This can be multiplied tenfold for sensitive types who naturally absorb and respond to subtle environmental shifts and sensory disturbances. So, how do we learn to acknowledge and address the noise that can otherwise derail and distract us? I explore that question in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, which follows from last week's exploration of personal sound and the idea of "coming to our senses." https://youtu.be/elTJHlIUslk The Difference Between Noise and Buzz Buzz is not a technical term, but it helps us differentiate different types of external stimulation. In the episode, I discuss how noise disturbs the senses, diminishing our capacity to enjoy while buzz enriches the experience, adding to the atmosphere and energy. Distinguishing between noise and buzz helps us gauge whether an environment supports our objectives and desires in any given moment. We might recognise how the same stimulation can be met differently by people. For example, some find silence distracting and seek sensory input to create a buzz to concentrate, while others lose focus if anything is happening around them. This highlights the subjective nature of these perceptions, which requires understanding and negotiation, especially in shared spaces like open-plan offices and living environments. Sources of Noise Noise reaches us through our senses, our thinking, and bodily sensations. We can perceive and feel disturbances in many ways and from various sources, some more overt than others. Sensory Noise Sensory noise is stimulation that directly enters our senses: noisy sounds, tastes, smells, touch, sights etc. Input becomes noisy when our ability to process sensory data or receive information through other senses is impaired. Cognitive Noise We might not notice how noisy our thoughts are when we are habituated to an overthinking mind. Thoughts might include the voice of the inner critic and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, one another, and the state of the world. Digital Noise I wasn't sure where to put mobile technology but it certainly belongs on this list. In fact, we might find it under every item. But rather than being a direct noise source, it tends to act as an amplifier for many other noise sources. The phone brings sensory noise through the sights and sounds of relentless news feeds and reels. It can also amplify cognitive noise, triggering internal judgements based on comparisons as we glimpse images, videos, and updates flying past our eyes, not to mention exposure to the relentless flood of real-time information that we wouldn't get in such abundant volume without technology. Cultural Noise Current events, news stories, and social trends flow into our conscious awareness from outside. They take up capacity for thinking and feeling and become noise when we don't have a creative outlet to process and release them. Cultural noise also flows through the values and beliefs we absorb from society and judge ourselves by. Somatic/Physical Noise We might feel noisiness in our physical beings. It can be experienced as pain, tension, tightness, aches, throbs, tenderness, etc. On the one hand it is where we might hold unprocessed thoughts, emotions, and experiences. But on the other hand, it can also become a source of noise itself. Emotional Noise Unacknowledged and unprocessed emotional responses to environments, situations, encounters, and experiences can build up inside us as noise. The louder they get, the more they influence our perception of reality. What We Hear is How We See I use the role of music in film and TV to highlight this. There are some fantastic examples of how music can completely change what you believe you are seeing in front of you. Check out these examples: The Power of Music in Film Breaking Bad The Sitcom