Podcasts about toxic shame

 "Your life is a garden and whatever you cultivate is what springs up, and if you don't pull out certain weeds, it ends up choking out the good stuff." My good friend, Dr. Word Smith is back for the third time. He flew into Philly, we sat down with zero agenda, and what came out was one of the most honest, layered conversations I've had on this show about relationships, childhood wounds, codependency, Buddhism, karma, and what it actually takes to change.We get into why intimate relationships are the sharpest mirror we have for our unprocessed childhood material, and why most of us don't even have language for what we didn't receive growing up, only a feeling that something was missing. Word shares his own journey through toxic shame, perfectionism, and self-criticism, and what it looked like to actually move through it over 25 years of real inner work. We also dive into Buddhism, the concept of seed planting, why just changing your thoughts doesn't work, and why the feelings and the body have to be part of the equation.Then we go deep into codependency, the slow, invisible way it builds, how it rewards you just enough to keep you stuck, and what it means to finally hit the wall where continuing the old way is no longer an option. We talk about the container: what it means to have a safe space where your body knows it can finally feel, and why that safety isn't a luxury, it's the actual mechanism of change. We close with a tease: we may be co-facilitating a retreat this fall. Stay tuned.TODAY'S HIGHLIGHTSWhy intimate relationships trigger us more than anything elseThe moment Word finally understood what toxic shame wasHow to trace shame back to childhood: what questions to ask yourselfWhy affirmations alone don't work, and what you're missing when you skip the feelings and bodyBuddhism, karma, and seed plantingCodependency: a survival mechanism that stops serving youThe perimenopause layer: why women in their 40s suddenly can't tolerate the old patterns anymoreSelf-abandonment disguised as being a good mom, wife, partner, and how to start seeing itThe container: why your body knows when it's safe to feel, and why that space is the key to processingFall retreat announcement. More details coming soonCONTACT DR. WORD SMITHDr. Word Smith is an energy worker, coach, Buddhist scholar, and Chinese medicine doctor with 25 years of experience helping people with manifestation, healing, and result-based transformation. Visit drwordsmithwisdom.comFollow on IG dr.wordsmithwisdom**WAYS TO ENTER MY WORLD**When you leave a review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts and send us a screenshot of it, we'll send you a $250 credit that you can apply to anything else in my world.Join me in The Metamorphosis which is my 3-month, groundbreaking, flagship program to rapidly and efficiently clear the familial and ancestral trauma that is blocking you from experiencing the wealth and freedom that you desire.Check out my newest video on my YouTube channel What's the Inner Critic + 7-Min Breathwork to Release ItQuestions? Let's jump on a call CONTACT ALYSEYouTube @alysebreathesalysebreathes.comIG @alyse_breathesinfo@alysebreathes.com

There is a difference between feeling ashamed and living inside shame. One is a passing signal. The other is the background atmosphere of an entire nervous system. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof go deep on toxic shame as the next distinguishing characteristic of complex trauma in their CPT series. This is one of the most personal episodes they have recorded. Both hosts share what shame actually sounded like at its loudest in their lives, the specific words, the body states, the loops that ran for years before they had any way to interrupt them. And they are honest about where they still meet it today. Toxic shame in complex trauma is not just a feeling that shows up after a mistake. It is an identity state. It shifts from "I did something wrong" to "I am wrong." It shapes posture, vocal tone, breath, gaze, and the way the body interprets every social interaction as potential exposure or rejection. And because it developed in relationship, specifically in environments where expressing needs or emotions led to punishment, abandonment, or humiliation, it becomes deeply tied to every relational experience that follows. Elisabeth and Jennifer trace the full arc of how shame develops, from the child who cannot afford to see their caregiver as unsafe and so turns the blame inward, to the adult who moves through professional and personal relationships with a chronic bracing for exposure. They cover the neurobiology in depth: what the insula, default mode network, and vagus nerve have to do with chronic shame states, why shame can both amplify and numb internal sensation at the same time, and how shame formation, the physiological pairing of emotional shame states with immune and inflammatory responses, helps explain the health outcomes seen in adverse childhood experience research. The conversation also covers the double bind of shame in complex trauma, the trap of needing connection while also bracing for what connection has always brought. How shame drives substance use and disordered eating as regulation strategies. How systemic and cultural forces layer onto developmental shame in ways that make the pattern larger than any individual. And what post-traumatic growth actually looks like here: not confidence, not the absence of shame, but a little more space between the wave and the response, a little longer staying present in the body before the collapse happens, and gradually, relationships where being imperfect does not mean being abandoned. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why toxic shame in complex trauma shifts from an emotion into an identity state How shame develops as a survival strategy when caregivers are unsafe and self-blame becomes the only available adaptation Why shame is not just cognitive but embodied, showing up in posture, vocal tone, breath, gaze, and gesture What shame formation is and how chronic shame states are linked to inflammation, immune dysregulation, and the health outcomes in ACE research How the insula, default mode network, and vagus nerve are involved in chronic shame patterning Why shame can simultaneously amplify and numb internal sensation and what that means for healing The double bind of shame: needing connection while bracing against it How systemic and cultural shaming layers onto developmental shame and why the nervous system cannot fully distinguish between them How shame drives substance use and disordered eating as regulation strategies and why the shame-use cycle is so hard to interrupt What post-traumatic growth looks like in relation to shame: not the absence of it, but increased range, flexibility, and capacity to stay present with it How accountability, relational repair, and allowing others to have their own experience gradually shifts the shame pattern   Chapters 0:00 - The Difference Between Feeling Ashamed and Living Inside Shame  0:33 - Welcome: Toxic Shame Through the Lens of Complex PTSD  1:54 - What Shame Actually Is: A Whole Body Physiological Response  2:14 - When Shame Becomes an Identity State  3:01 - Shame in the Body: Posture, Voice, Breath, and Withdrawal  3:34 - Systemic and Cultural Shame: When the Group Itself Is Dysregulated  5:55 - Shame as the Emotion That Represses All Other Emotions  7:15 - How Shame Develops in Complex Trauma: The Child Who Cannot Blame the Caregiver  8:48 - Everything Is My Fault as a State of Being  9:43 - Jennifer and Elisabeth Share What Shame Sounded Like at Its Loudest  11:28 - How Shame Physically Inhibits Expression  12:09 - The Double Bind: Needing Connection While Bracing Against It  14:00 - The Neurobiology: Insula, Freeze, Dissociation, and No Safe Discharge  17:31 - Large Scale Neural Patterning: DMN Loops, Reward Signaling, and Oxytocin  18:36 - What Shame Looks Like Now for Jennifer and Elisabeth  23:51 - Shame Formation: Inflammation, the Vagus Nerve, and ACE Research  26:43 - The Shame and Substance Use Cycle  30:28 - How Both Hosts Used Substances to Regulate Shame  34:15 - Systemic Shame and the Brain's Drive for Belonging  36:10 - What Post-Traumatic Growth Actually Looks Like With Shame  38:51 - Relational Healing: Repair, Accountability, and Letting Someone Love You Imperfectly  41:14 - Allowing Another Person to Have Their Experience Without Collapsing   Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Elisabeth's work at brainbased.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

Shame isn't your problem. Toxic shame is. The Impulsive Thinker® cuts straight through what most ADHD Entrepreneur podcasts never talk about.   In This Episode: The real difference between shame, toxic shame, and guilt Why self-sabotage is just self-protection for the ADHD brain How a shame-bound identity quietly shapes your work and relationships   What You'll Take Away: Shame is a social correction tool — but toxic shame attacks your identity Your brain never got the memo that you're safe now ADHD Entrepreneurs react to toxic shame, not regular shame Self-sabotage is just another name for trying to survive — not thrive Complaints hit like verdicts when toxic shame rewires your system   ABOUT THIS EPISODE This episode of The Impulsive Thinker® rips into the difference between regular shame and the toxic stuff that rewires your brain. The Impulsive Thinker® breaks down Dr. Shawn's blunt take on shame, guilt, and why your brain keeps you stuck. Forget the motivational nonsense — this is about ADHD, Entrepreneurs, and how toxic shame runs on automatic even when your world is safe. Identity, behaviour, and self-sabotage are unmasked for what they are. Shame is a tool — until it turns toxic. Self-sabotage isn't weakness, it's your nervous system overcorrecting after years of running defence. Real ADHD Entrepreneur talk without easy answers or stock fixes. If you're an ADHD Entrepreneur who feels like complaints always land like final judgement — you need this episode. Hit play and see the problem for what it actually is. Email me about it at andre@theimpulsivethinker.com. Remember — ADHD failure is measured on society's measuring stick. Not yours. Your brain runs on interest, not importance. That's not a flaw. That's a different operating system. ADHD is not a deficit. It's a difference.  

It's not about eliminating all sources of shame, but aligning with the confidence that you're able to handle it effectively. In the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw, he compares shame to a “demonic” presence that takes over our whole being. I think this is a valuable analogy, because the presence leaves very little room for our conscious response, if we don't recognize where we end and the “demon of shame” begins. Toxic shame is a liar. It's a menace. In order to exercise these demons, we must address them head on. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

you're not "finding" an authentic self, but rather, practicing ease and comfort when you feel it. "as soon as she touches the water, she is immediately transformed into the most graceful creature." find the water of your own belonging. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

dealing with rejection can feel impossible for people with internalized, toxic shame. there are rarely absolutes. life exists mostly in the gray area. not all good and not all bad.people will go to extremes to avoid toxic shame, so they will force themselves to make it "either/or" when it may be healthier to think that things are "both/and"it comes back to giving your "true self" unconditional love and respect. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you make a mistake and feel vulnerable, the best response is to acknowledge and repair. Don't harbor more shame. The mistakes are inevitable. You highlighting them makes the mistake seem like something worth worshipping, not something to learn from. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

stop being so hard on yourself!! YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES. Mistakes are simply feedback. Listen, take responsibility when needed, and adapt!!!! It's all part of the process. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You really are worth it. There has never been anyone like you. Nor will there ever be anyone like you again. You are unique, unrepeatable and of precious worth. - John Bradshaw John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

common cognitive distortions among shame-based people include: catastrophizing, mind-reading, all-or-nothing or either-or thinking, personalization, blaming, global blaming, filtering, cognitive bias affirmations, control thinking fallacies, "should" thinking, over generalizations, etc. to combat this we must: become active listeners, abandon comparison, abandon "shoulds" and absolutes. focus on curiosity and flexibility. create more space for "unknowns". John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grief work: identify, build awareness, re-route with corrective responses. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shame spirals tend to attach themselves to certain triggers or anchors we have created from our past experiences. If we are able to create safe, corrective anchors to attach to these triggers, we can avoid the spirals and instead, learn to ride the waves. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

delayed grief is how we end up creating false selves. it's our job to grieve fully, so we can release the attachments to our denial. connectedness, validation, and support are the way through. John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

in order to be healed, we must come out of isolation. identity formation is a social process, so unraveling toxic shame is also a social process. - John BradshawJohn Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As long as our shame is hidden, there is nothing we can do about it. “The only way out is through.” "Embracing our shame involves pain. Pain is what we try to avoid. In fact, most of our neurotic behavior is due to the avoidance of legitimate pain. We try to find an easier way. This is perfectly reasonable. In the case of shame, the more we avoid it, the worse it gets. We cannot change our “internalized” shame until we “externalize” it. Externalization methods include:1. Coming out of hiding by social contact, which means honestly sharing our feelings with significant others. 2. Seeing ourselves mirrored and echoed in the eyes of at least one non-shaming person. Reestablishing an “interpersonal bridge.” 3. Working a Twelve Step program. 4. Doing shame-reduction work by “legitimizing” our abandonment trauma. We do this by writing and talking about it (debriefing). Writing especially helps to externalize past shaming experiences. We can then externalize our feelings about the abandonment. We can express them, grieve them, clarify them and connect with them. 5. Externalizing our lost Inner Child. We do this by making conscious contact with the vulnerable child part of ourselves. 6. Learning to recognize various split-off parts of ourselves. As we make these parts conscious (externalize them), we can embrace and integrate them. 7. Making new decisions to accept all parts of ourselves with unconditional positive regard. Learning to say, “I love myself for . . .” Learning to externalize our needs and wants by becoming more self-assertive. 8. Externalizing unconscious memories from the past, which form collages of shame scenes, and learning how to heal them. 9. Externalizing the voices in our heads. These voices keep our shame spirals in operation. Doing exercises to stop our shaming voices and learning to replace them with new, nurturing and positive voices. 10. Learning to be aware of certain interpersonal situations most likely to trigger shame spirals. 11. Learning how to deal with critical and shaming people by practicing assertive techniques and creating an externalization shame anchor. 12. Learning how to handle our mistakes and having the courage to be imperfect. 13. Finally, learning through prayer and meditation to create an inner place of silence wherein we are centered and grounded in a personally valued Higher Power. 14. Discovering our life's purpose and spiritual destiny.All of these externalization methods have been adapted from the major schools of therapy. Most therapies attempt to make that which is covert and unconscious into something overt and conscious.These techniques can only be mastered by practice. You must do them, then reinforce them by doing them again. They will work if you will work." JOHN BRADSHAW - Healing the Shame that Binds You John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Being nice is primarily a way of manipulating people and situations." - John Bradshaw"Perfectionism flows from the core of toxic shame. A perfectionist has no sense of healthy shame; he has no internal sense of limits. Perfectionists never know how much is good enough. Perfectionism is learned when one is valued only for doing... Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive."A person who feels flawed and defective feels powerless and helpless. Such a person can alter her feelings of defectiveness by helping and taking care of others. When she is caregiving others, she feels good about herself. So the goal of the caregiver is the caregiving, not the good of the person being cared for. The caregiving is an activity that distracts one from one's feelings of inadequacy. Distraction is a way to mood-alter. " - John Bradshaw Healing the Shame that Binds You John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our culture does not handle emotions well. We like folks to be happy and fine. We learn rituals of acting happy and fine at an early age. I can remember many times telling people “I'm fine,” when I felt like the world was caving in on me. Toxic shame is true agony. It is a pain felt from the inside, in the core of our being. It is excruciatingly painful. - John Bradshaw John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes, "“I feel shame” comes to mean “I am shameful, deficient in some vital way as a human being.” Shame is no longer one feeling among many, but comes to constitute the core of oneself. Internalized shame creates a frozen state of being. Shame is no longer an emotional signal that comes and goes. It is a deep, abiding, all-pervasive sense of being defective as a person. This core of defectiveness forms the foundation around which other feelings about the self will be experienced. Gradually, over a period of time, this frozen feeling of belief recedes from consciousness. In this way shame becomes basic to one's sense of identity. One becomes a shame-based person." - John Bradshaw John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can't heal what we don't feel. Unfortunately, one of the greatest powers of toxic shame is that it creates automatic, unconscious defenses: like Idealization, repression, denial, dissociation. So most people don't heal this shame and end up passing it down to their children, through hierarchal power structures, coercion, and denial. Dysfunctional Family Rules: Chaos or Control, Perfectionism or Anomie, Blame self or others, Denial of freedoms, John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The more one experiences shame, the more one is ashamed, and the beat goes on. It is this dead-end quality of shame that makes it so hopeless. But it's not hopeless, it just feels like it.“Without feeling, nothing matters, and with feeling, anything can matter.” - Silvan TompkinsWhen you internalize toxic levels of shame, you create a "false self" to cope. It takes lots of energy and hard work to live a false self.John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Without feeling, nothing matters, and with feeling, anything can matter.” - Silvan TompkinsWhen you internalize toxic levels of shame, you create a "false self" to cope. It takes lots of energy and hard work to live a false self.John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Toxic shame is a deep feeling of worthlessness and self-hatred often starting in childhood due to trauma or neglect. Deconstructing internalized toxic shame is an intense and overwhelming process, but it's a rewarding one. Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 What does boarding school shame do to a child's nervous system — especially when it's wrapped in privilege, silence, and “you should be grateful”? In this episode of An Evolving Man, I'm joined by Jessica Boston — trauma-informed transformation coach and creator of The Homecoming Method (a somatic approach integrating subconscious reprogramming, nervous-system safety, and reparenting). Together we explore how shame forms in boarding school environments through: 

In this episode of Life Stories, Shara sits down with Candi Rose, author, TEDx speaker, real estate investor, and single mom, to talk about healing, shame, faith, and the courage it takes to tell the truth about your past.Candi shares:*Why she wrote her memoir, Naked*How toxic shame nearly cost her her life*What growing up bullied and hurting led her to seek escape through drugs and risky behavior*How success didn't bring healing — and why she walked away from everything to find herself*How moving to Spain changed her life*The journey from hiding for decades to speaking on a TEDx stage*Why telling the truth sets you free*How God can turn your deepest pain into your greatest purposeYou'll also hear her wisdom for parents, for those walking through shame, and for anyone who feels stuck in their past and unsure how to move forward.This episode is raw, faith-filled, honest, and deeply hopeful.To find out more about Candi and her work, visit https://www.candirose.com/Want to be a guest on Life Stories Podcast? Send Shara Goswick a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1718977880777072342a16683

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.  You can also RSVP to Bryan for "Awaken the Heart" on Sunday, March 1 - more details here.

Healing can't happen in the dark. Like the woman in the Gospel, Jesus wants to move you from hidden struggle to public peace—calling you "Daughter" or "Son" and restoring your true identity in the light.#FULLTANKwithBroBo​ #FULLTANKwithBroBo2026​ #BoSanchez​ #HealingFromShame​ #OvercomingAddiction​ #FaithInAction​ #Mark5​ #IdentityInChrist​ #SpiritualGrowth​ #MentalHealthMatters​ #GodsLove​ #Beloved​--- PS. Do you want to help spread God's love too? You can support my mission through Fulltank, the Prayer Room, and other ministries by becoming a partner at bosanchez.ph/supporters.Support this podcast. Help me reach others by supporting this podcast.To support my mission work, click this link now! http://BuyMeACoffee.com/brotherbosanchez

Geoffrey Blaylock Returns: The Information That's Gap Killing Addicts | The Hopeaholics PodcastIn this powerful return episode, Geoffrey Blaylock comes back to the Hopeaholics Podcast to continue the conversation on addiction as a brain-based disease, diving even deeper into the realities that families and individuals often misunderstand. Building on his previous appearance, he expands on trauma, attachment, and epigenetics, while challenging outdated intervention models and the damaging belief that addiction is simply a choice. He explains how impaired decision-making, toxic shame, and nervous system dysregulation keep people trapped in cycles of relapse and self-destruction. Through compelling analogies and real-world clinical examples, he clarifies why education is one of the most critical tools in saving lives. Geoffrey also discusses how addiction affects not just the individual, but entire family systems, often pulling loved ones into their own form of emotional dysregulation. The conversation emphasizes the importance of compassion without enabling, accountability without punishment, and support rooted in neuroscience rather than fear.Check out Geoffrey's First Episode:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeJN23-Gsx4#thehopeaholics #redemption #recovery #AlcoholAddiction #AddictionRecovery #wedorecover #SobrietyJourney #MyStory #Hope #wedorecover #treatmentcenter #natalieevamarieJoin our patreon to get access to an EXTRA EPISODE every week of ‘Off the Record', exclusive content, a thriving recovery community, and opportunities to be featured on the podcast. https://patreon.com/TheHopeaholics Go to www.Wolfpak.com today and support our sponsors. Don't forget to use code: HOPEAHOLICSPODCAST for 10% off!Follow the Hopeaholics on our Socials:https://www.instagram.com/thehopeaholics https://linktr.ee/thehopeaholicsBuy Merch: https://thehopeaholics.myshopify.comVisit our Treatment Centers: https://www.hopebythesea.comIf you or a loved one needs help, please call or text 949-615-8588. We have the resources to treat mental health and addiction. Sponsored by the Infiniti Group LLC:https://www.infinitigroupllc.com Timestamps:00:03:17 - Subjective vs Objective Decision Making00:04:29 - Critique of Traditional Intervention Model00:06:03 - Memory-Based Intervention Approach00:07:13 - Frontal Cortex Shutdown in Addiction00:09:32 - Toxic Shame and Fight-or-Flight00:17:39 - Is Addiction a Choice or a Disease00:18:50 - Who Would Choose Skid Row00:19:32 - Addiction as a Brain Disease00:20:15 - What Makes Us Human and the Frontal Cortex00:21:14 - Education Creates Empathy00:23:01 - Why Addiction Is Not Purely Genetic00:24:03 - Epigenetics Explained00:26:16 - Cultural Trauma and Addiction Myths00:29:15 - Identical Twins With Different Outcomes00:32:22 - Why Children Self-Medicate00:34:57 - Addiction as a Disease of Decision Making00:37:34 - Donuts, Dopamine, and Survival Brain00:39:12 - Unacceptable Lack of Addiction Education00:41:07 - Attachment and Early Development00:43:18 - Toxic Ownership and Core Beliefs00:48:19 - Trauma Profiles and Identity Formation

Episode #1074 What happens when success on paper doesn't match how you feel inside? In this episode, Bruce shares the quiet crisis he faced in his 40s, one that wasn't loud or obvious, but deeply personal. He opens up about the years he spent hiding behind work, accomplishments, and a polished image, while quietly carrying a weight he didn't know how to name. Through honest conversation, Bruce and Tim unpack what shame really is, how it can quietly shape your life, and why so many men struggle to talk about it. This isn't about fixing everything overnight, it's about being honest about where you are and starting to move in a better direction. You'll hear about Bruce's journey from pushing people away to finally letting himself be seen. He talks openly about what it took to stop pretending and start connecting in a real way, especially with other men. If you've ever felt like something's off, even if everything looks fine from the outside, this conversation is for you. It's real, it's grounded, and it might be the nudge you need to start showing up differently. The goal isn't perfection, it's authenticity. You don't have to do this alone. If you're ready to stop carrying it all by yourself, we put together a free training that walks you through the exact steps men are using to get unstuck and take their lives back. No pressure, no fluff. Just a clear next step. Watch the free training here: https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales

In this episode, Ms. Elle helps a Dominant man reframe toxic shame from his childhood that is limiting his ability to show up in healthy, empowered masculine energy. Don't miss this incredible conversation! Listen now!Support the showSUPPORT THIS PODCAST | FOLLOW ON SOCIAL

Why do adult men need sex education? What sexual changes do men's bodies go through as we get older? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains what men need to know about low testosterone, urinary flow, sperm production, and more. You'll learn about the importance of prostate exams, the truth about penis size, the difference between sex in porn vs. sex in marriage, and other common misconceptions men have about sex.Join us for sex education in person at the next Husband Material Retreat! husbandmaterial.com/retreatDr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.comBuy Doug's books:Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual DevelopmentChildhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male: Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Complex Trauma: Finding Hope, Clarity, Healing, and ChangeSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Learn how to JournalSpeak ➡️  https://bit.ly/3IsmzN4  In this "sister" episode to last week's Prison of Perfect, we unpack the concept of toxic shame—the deep, painful belief that “I am bad,” rather than “I did something bad.” We'll discuss how this core wound often begins in childhood, when emotional needs for safety and connection go unmet. Over time, internalized shame becomes the background music of our lives, fueling perfectionism, people-pleasing, withdrawal, and even rage. These patterns are not moral failings, but protective adaptations the nervous system creates to survive emotional disconnection. Healing begins when we bring curiosity and compassion to the parts of ourselves that feel unworthy. Through awareness, JournalSpeak, and community, we gradually replace the old narrative of defectiveness with one of inherent worth. Remember!! You are not broken, you're human. Let's dive into it all. xoxo, n. PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW THE PODCAST HERE TO HELP OTHERS FIND IT! Producer: Lisa Eisenpresser ~~~~~ SUPPORT:

No matter how much you achieve, there's a quiet voice saying you're not enough. In this episode, Lavinia and Andrew unpack the hidden roots of toxic shame, what it is, how it forms in childhood, and practical steps to begin healing today.You'll learn how toxic shame forms in childhood through criticism, emotional neglect, or the belief that love must be earned, and how it turns into patterns of self-judgment, people-pleasing, or burnout. This episode gives you practical tools to start healing toxic shame, reconnecting with your inner child, and building genuine self-compassion so you can finally feel enough, as you are.00:00 – Intro: What Is Toxic Shame and Why It's So Hard to Spot01:20 – How Shame Becomes Part of Your Identity02:45 – Childhood Roots: Where Shame Really Comes From10:45 – The Two Faces of Shame: Anger vs Self-Destruction13:40 – People Pleasing and Activism as Shame in Disguise16:40 – How to Heal: From Shame to Self-Compassion22:20 – How Subtle Shaming Shows Up in Parenting

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Chaim Ghoori is a world-renowned singer/songwriter whose deep and heartfelt compositions like “Yidden” and "Rotzo V'shov", under the Thank You Hashem label, touch on spiritual connection and a yearning Jew's deeply personal relationship with God. His album Collecting Sparks offered listeners a deeply introspective experience. The album's title and content reflect Kabbalistic themes of spiritual elevation and transformation—highlighted in tracks like “Hisbatlus,” “I Love You Hashem,” and the title track “Collecting Sparks.” ---Please rate and review the Empowered Jewish Living podcast on whatever platform you stream it. Please follow Rabbi Shlomo Buxbaum and the Lev Experience on the following channels:Facebook: @ShlomobuxbaumInstagram: @shlomobuxbaumYouTube: @levexperienceOrder Rabbi Shlomo' books: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Four Elements of an Empowered Life: A Guidebook to Discovering Your Inner World and Unique Purpose⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠---⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Four Elements of Inner Freedom: The Exodus Story as a Model for Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Personal Breakthroughs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can order a copy on⁠ Amazon⁠ or in your local Jewish bookstore.

In this powerful episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt bravely confronts the often misunderstood emotion of shame. With her characteristic blend of authenticity and humor, Brianne delves into the four distinct types of shame: existential, situational, class, and narcissistic, revealing how each can profoundly affect our self-worth and relationships.Throughout the episode, Brianne shares her personal experiences and insights, illustrating how shame manifests in our lives and the detrimental impact it can have on our mental health. She emphasizes the difference between shame and guilt, providing clarity on how these emotions shape our identities and behaviors. Listeners will resonate with her anecdotes of feeling unworthy and inadequate, as she encourages a journey of self-discovery and healing.Brianne also offers practical strategies for recognizing and addressing toxic shame, urging listeners to cultivate self-acceptance, challenge negative beliefs, and seek healthy relationships. This episode serves as a poignant reminder that while shame can feel isolating, it is a shared human experience that can be transformed through awareness and action. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that invites you to face your shame and reclaim your worth.

Why is it so hard to feel safe even when you're no longer in danger? In this episode of Moonbeaming, Sarah Faith Gottesdiener speaks with somatic healer Ifé Mora about the Nine of Wands archetype and what it means to live in a body that's been shaped by stress, trauma, and survival. They explore:The biology of burnoutThe impact of chronic stress on the nevous systemHow to heal through presence, education, and somatic practiceAnd powerful tools for regulating the nervous system.This is an episode for anyone feeling worn out, stuck in survival mode, or ready to rebuild.More on our guest:Ifé Mora is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Spiritual Buddhist teacher, and trauma-informed educator, as well as the founder of One Soma LLC, a healing organization focused on trauma education and social justice. She specializes in helping individuals resolve trauma, regulate their nervous systems, and build resilience through embodied, mind-body-spirit practices. Her work draws on Somatic Experiencing and neurobiological tools to foster deep healing and holistic well-being. Rooted in spiritual traditions, Ifé integrates personal development with trauma healing to support lasting transformation. She believes that trauma-informed education can help create a more just and compassionate society. Her mission is to help people reconnect with their authentic selves and unlock the body's natural ability to heal.Connect with Ifé:WebsiteInstagram--- Moon Studio workshop reminder:June 29th: The Constellation of the 9's: The Hermit, The Moon, & the 9's---Join the Moon Studio community:Join the Moon Studio Patreon.Buy the 2025 Many Moons Lunar Planner.Subscribe to our newsletter.Find Sarah on Instagram.

Join your host, Nicole Morris, LMFT and Mental Health Correspondent, as she welcomes back Mike Heady, LCPC, co-owner and director of the Anxiety And Stress Disorders Institute, to explore the complex world of shame. While shame often carries a negative connotation, could there be a healthy, functional side to it? Join the conversation, and learn more about the Compass of Shame and therapeutic strategies that can help cultivate healthy shame in your life, OCD or not!

Free Masterclass: Learn the 3 steps behind my Inner Awareness Framework - https://www.arian-samouie.com/freemasterclasstraining-------------------------------------------------------------Arian's Links Page: https://ariansamouie.com/linksInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/arian_samouie/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@arian_samouie?-------------------------------------------------------------

Free Masterclass: Learn the 3 steps behind my Inner Awareness Framework - https://www.arian-samouie.com/freemasterclasstraining-------------------------------------------------------------Arian's Links Page: https://ariansamouie.com/linksInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/arian_samouie/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@arian_samouie?-------------------------------------------------------------

Click here to read the episode highlights.   The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.    Episode Highlights:    “Confusion about Toxic Shame and Guilt”   Codependency is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to deal with. Even though we have been “taught” to rid ourselves of how God made us, it does not give us permission or the right to stay there. It is a sickness that we have, and we have the responsibility to find the healing.   Codependency is the loss of how God made us, with self-awareness, self-trust, self-care, being sensitive to our own true feelings, loss of learning how to respond to our feelings in a healthy way; it is the loss of self-worth—given over to the needs of significant others who are uncomfortable with themselves, or self-rejecting.    Codependency recovery is not selfishness; it is “Self-fullness.” Self-fullness is having enough of who God created us to be that we have the ability to give our gifts to a world in need.   The need to belong and matter is so powerful that we are going to find a way to get those needs met—through suppression or expression.   Expression has to be grown and matured, so codependency recovery does take time and investment.   Each of the symptoms that we have discussed in this podcast is from the work of Timmen Cermak, in his book Diagnosing and Treating Codependency. The descriptions and following work are from my own experiences.   Codependency is pervasive, a pandemic, and all the relief-seeking addictions we can name have their origin and influence in codependency.   Symptom #12  Confusion About Toxic Shame and Guilt Toxic shame is grounded in never being able to do anything “right enough,” or be right enough to be loved, or have the “right” to receive mercy.   In toxic shame the confusion between shame and guilt is birthed in the mistaken belief that I should be able to not mess up; not make mistakes; should not have to need mercy; should be able to be perfect. It is the belief that only perfect people can be loved. If I am not perfect, I am “worth-less” and cannot be loved.   Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.  

Click here to read the episode highlights.   The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.    Emotional recovery is about going back to “ground zero,” your childhood.   A disease is a morbid process that is destructive to the being: body, mind, soul, and heart. It reduces our capacity to be productive and prosperous. Disease has a characteristic chain of symptoms with known or unknown origins. A disease is chronic, with acute episodes, progressive and often fatal.   We are as sick as the feelings we will not let ourselves have.   Symptom # 9 Hypervigilance Hypervigilance is the fear of giving up anxiety that keeps me “on my toes” as a safety mechanism; bad things will happen if I'm not on my toes.   Hypervigilance is being controlled by anxiety. Anxiety is always seeking relief from the hypervigilance. Anxiety becomes the expectation of an external threat doing something to put me in a position of helplessness.   Anxiety is in us to tell us to be ready to take a defensive action, a reaction: fight…get ready flee…get ready freeze…get ready appease…get ready   Anxiety in its negative form is saying “watch outside right now because something is coming that is going to harm you.”  Anxiety is an external locus of anticipation and control.   The anxiety in hypervigilance is about avoiding the confession of being afraid and in need. The anxiety goes in search of the external threat; it looks for danger. This anxiety will not be quelled until it finds the thing that it needs to control in order to find relief.   We are made to live fully in relationship and connection. When we become disconnected from how we are made, because we are made for connection and to live fully in relationship, that has always been there. If I can't find a way to be connected the way I am created to connect, I will have to find another way to be connected, one way or another.    Toxic shame tells you that if you're not doing what others expect you to do (and your discomfort will confirm this), then you will be humiliated and rejected. Toxic Shame says: You better get your role together. You better watch the rules. You better read from your script.   Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

A lot of us like to point the finger and say that everybody else is the problem, but we very rarely talk about when we're toxic and when we're the villain in someone else's story. So how can we better paint the whole picture, have those uncomfortable conversations, and show up in a way that does not hurt the ones we love? Tune in as Alechia and Dani share their own less than favorable traits and how to work through villain to victim to powerhouse who shows up in the world with truly good intentions.    Watch the conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/UHzdNkYXjqg?si=raAU_yt0Ebnp1vbz      SPONSORED BY: 7 Agents of Change Pack, visit to learn more: http://triggeredafevents.com    KEY POINTS & QUOTES: - Nobody wants to be the villain - so where are they?   - What are your toxic traits?   - How to exercise the apology muscle   - When did we forget grace and compassion?   - The value of remembering when you were the villain   - Choosing the right thing, even when it's uncomfortable    - Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up?   QUOTABLES: “Victims sometimes forget when they were the villain.”   “Understand to every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. Whether you're being a villain or not a villain, you're being a safe place or an unsafe place, it goes back to the decisions that you make about how do you want to feel? And then how do you want others to feel when you walk out of a room?”     CONNECT WITH YOUR HOSTS: Alechia Reese For coaching, visit: http://gotvaluenation.com Instagram | http://instagram.com/alechiareese LinkedIn | linkedin.com/in/alechiareese Dani Bourdeau For coaching, visit: http://danifostercoaching.com Instagram | http://instagram.com/thedanibourdeau PRODUCTS / RESOURCES: For more info, visit their website: www.triggeredafpodcast.com Like what you're hearing? Follow Triggered AF on their Socials and share the love!  IG: https://www.instagram.com/triggeredafpc Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/triggeredafpc FB: https://www.facebook.com/triggeredafpc     Replay edited by Triggered Media Group.

Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): https://www.clarkkegley.com/free-ques...  The Best of Series | 10-years In The Making:    • THE BEST OF - Clark Kegley | Top Vide...    In this video, we dive deep into the often-overlooked concept of toxic shame. Toxic Shame is a silent force that may be ruining your life. This video will explain WHAT toxic shame is, the 3 signs that toxic shame is affecting you, and quick steps to overcome it. This video is a must-watch for anyone struggling with self-doubt, low confidence, imposter syndrome, feeling fake, finding it hard to be yourself, and lots of self-judgements. Prepare to change your perspective on shame forever! 00:00 Intro: Why You Need to Watch  00:19 Toxic Shame: Explained 01:42 SIGN I: Why My GF Almost Dumped Me 03:02 Toxic Shame & Modern Masculinity 03:47 Story: Faking Energy 05:10 The Root: Why We Do This 05:44 SIGN II: Walter Mitty and Escapism 07:09 Addiction: The Deceptive Escape 08:06 The Illusion of Positive Escapism 08:48 SIGN III: Childhood and Self-Isolation 10:17 Community: The Power of Mirrors 11:10 My Sobriety Journey: A Fight Against Shame 13:06 The Path Forward 14:03 Practical Steps MY FAVORITE TOOLS

Almost all of us carry some form of shame with us every day, whether it's about our sexuality, feeling inadequate, or believing we don't deserve the best. Whatever type of shame you carry, overcoming and reconciling it by first understanding its origin and then letting it go will greatly help you on your journey to living your best life. As someone who has dealt with this himself, Coach Mark Sing offers a highly effective NLP strategy to help identify and eliminate these toxic, shameful thoughts. In today's episode, he'll guide you step-by-step on how to perform this strategy yourself. Apply for Mark's 3-Month Coaching Program Here: https://coachmarksing.com/coaching/ Follow Mark on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachmarksing/ Watch UMP Episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCybix9PZoDgcyyt5hNxPLuw Grab Mark's Free Program: "The Approach Formula": https://www.CoachMarkSing.com/The-Approach-Formula Contact Mark Directly: CoachMarkSing@Gmail.com

Free INFJ EPIC LIFE Formula Poster: https://infjformula.gr8.com/ Get the INFJ Audio GUIDE TODAY!!! https://wenzes.thinkific.com/courses/epic-life-audiocourse Join INFJ Bootcamp Waiting List https://bootcampwaitinglist.wenzes.com/ INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Are you an INFJ who often sees potential in others, only to realize later on that they don't actually possess it? It's a common experience for many of us INFJs. This tendency may stem from toxic shame rather than just our visionary nature. Let's explore why we assign unrealistic potential to those around us and how we can navigate this pattern. All INFJ EPIC LIFE Programs: https://programs.wenzes.com/collections Free Resources: https://wenzes.com/INFJ-Free-Resource/ Website: http://www.wenzes.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wenzes_ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachWenzes #INFJ #INFJLIFECOACH #LIFECOACHING

Have you been dealing with toxic shame and feel like you are less than God designed? Do you have close people in your life who continue to toxically shame you? Are you toxically shaming yourself? We need to get a hold of unhealthy and toxic shame and instead behold The One who made us, Jesus Christ. This world has so much toxicity and polarity that it can be hard to field through where we end and toxicity begins. Jesus is the author of Truth and Life and He designed us to live in freedom. We need to get set free from toxic shame around us and be reminded of who we are to live in Christ's Kingdom as a daughter or son.Try Magic Mind for free here (make sure to cancel to not get charged after 1 month): https://magicmind.com/STRONGTOWERTRIALWith my code STRONGTOWERTRIAL There is a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off one time purchases with code STRONGTOWER at checkout. You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/strongtower Find more about Heidi: www.heidimortensonlmft.comPurchase the book The Brave Encourager: https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Encourager-Power-Encouragement-Changes/dp/B09TN45H36/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3HGP5FPY2E5GD&keywords=the+brave+encourager&qid=1646608516&sprefix=the+brave+encourager%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1Join my mailing list: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/t5u2y5If you are in crisis, help is available by call or text 1-800-273-8255 24/7. You can also visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You are loved!

We hear the word shame and believe that it's bad right? When we feel it we want that feeling gone, no matter how we can get it to leave. Is shame always bad? Is there such thing as healthy shame? We usually use church words such as condemnation or conviction. God can use neuroscience to help us understand relationships, connection and joy. In this episode, I will take from different sources, including the Bible, the book The Other Half of Church, Brené Brown and my personal experiences. When we ignore pain, we don't allow real transformation to happen within our souls. This episode discusses the power of healthy shame being necessary for us to be transformed more like Jesus.“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” ~Romans 12:2 There is a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off one time purchases with code STRONGTOWER at checkout. You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/strongtower Find more about Heidi: www.heidimortensonlmft.comPurchase the book The Brave Encourager: https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Encourager-Power-Encouragement-Changes/dp/B09TN45H36/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3HGP5FPY2E5GD&keywords=the+brave+encourager&qid=1646608516&sprefix=the+brave+encourager%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1Join my mailing list: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/t5u2y5If you are in crisis, help is available by call or text 1-800-273-8255 24/7. You can also visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You are loved!

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy, where we tackle the fears, self-doubt, social anxiety, and shyness that hold you back from being your true self. In today's episode, "Healing Toxic Shame," we're diving deep into a topic that's often hidden away but profoundly impacts us all. Do you ever feel an intense sense of badness, as if you're not worthy of love or connection? That's shame, and for some, it's a constant, toxic presence. Today, we'll explore what toxic shame is, where it comes from, and most importantly, how to heal from it. I'll share powerful insights and practical steps to help you start transforming this toxic narrative into one of self-compassion and empowerment. This episode will guide you in recognizing the internalized messages of shame and how to replace them with messages of love and acceptance. By the end, you'll have actionable steps to begin your journey toward healing and self-worth. So, join me and discover how to liberate yourself from the grips of toxic shame, step into your true power, and become the most free, bold, and authentic version of yourself. Let's get started! ------------------------- Breaking Free from Toxic Shame: Reclaim Your Self-Worth Have you ever felt paralyzed by a deep sense of shame that seems to pervade every aspect of your life? It's a feeling many professionals struggle with, impacting their relationships, careers, and overall well-being. In today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into the pervasive issue of toxic shame, offering profound insights and actionable steps to help you break free from its grip. Understanding Toxic Shame "Toxic shame is the feeling of badness that permeates your existence," Dr. Aziz explains. Unlike situational shame, which arises from specific events, toxic shame is a constant sense of being flawed or unworthy. This feeling often stems from early childhood experiences where negative messages from parents or caregivers were internalized. "It's like poison to a young nervous system," says Dr. Aziz, highlighting the profound impact of these early interactions. The Cycle of Self-Perpetuated Shame Many people continue to carry these negative perceptions into adulthood, often without realizing it. "You are shaming you," Dr. Aziz emphasizes. This internalized voice of disapproval can make you feel perpetually inadequate. However, the good news is that this cycle can be broken. "Toxic shame is not permanent," reassures Dr. Aziz. Recognizing that you are the one perpetuating these feelings is the first step toward liberation. Steps to Overcome Toxic Shame **1. Acknowledge the Source: Understanding that your feelings of shame are not an inherent part of you, but rather learned behaviors, is crucial. "These messages were not about you; they were about the people who projected them," says Dr. Aziz. **2. Challenge the Internalized Voice: Begin by questioning the truth of these negative perceptions. Dr. Aziz advises, "Why are you continuing to hold that perspective? Why are you advocating for your own awfulness?" Shifting your internal dialogue from one of criticism to one of compassion can be transformative. **3. Consciously Reframe Your Self-Perception: Imagine how you would talk to someone you love, especially a child. "What are the top three messages you would want to convey to them?" Dr. Aziz asks. Use these positive affirmations to start reshaping how you talk to yourself. Embracing a New Reality The journey to overcoming toxic shame involves consciously choosing to see yourself differently. "It's like learning a new language," Dr. Aziz explains. It might feel foreign at first, but with practice, it becomes second nature. The key is to step into your life without the armoring of shame, allowing yourself to connect deeply with others and live more fully. A Message of Hope Breaking free from toxic shame is not just possible; it's within your reach. By taking deliberate steps to challenge and change your internal narrative, you can reclaim your sense of worth and live a life filled with confidence and authenticity. If you're ready to dive deeper and transform your life, explore Dr. Aziz's resources at DrAziz.com. From free mini-courses to comprehensive programs, there are tools available to support you on your journey. Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkfortheshyguy.com. For free blogs, e-books, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.

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Julie is back, twinning with Nikki in matching sweaters. It was hard not to love Ryan Gosling's Oscar rendition of "I'm Just Ken". Nikki took Brian on the road this weekend as her opener. He got a front-row seat for an exchange she had with a doppelganger. Backstage, they delved into Enneagram numbers and shared what they learned about each other. Nikki reads the test for Besties to take at home, and Julie also finds out her number. Nikki dove into videos on toxic shame from a psychiatrist that made her feel seen. In the Final Thought, they talk about unsolicited opinions and EJ's battle with a stink bug. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian's Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.