The Art of Manliness

When you're feeling stressed, burnt out, and anxious — when you're striving and achieving but still finding yourself persistently dissatisfied with life — you might start looking for answers beyond what's offered by contemporary self-help.One ancient philosophy that can cast light on the sources of and solutions to our seemingly modern dilemmas is Buddhism. If you've ever been intrigued by Buddhism but admittedly only have a vague sense of what it's all about, Brendan Barca — co-author of The Daily Buddhist: 366 Days of Mindful Living — will walk you through its foundational principles.We begin our conversation with how Buddhism is similar to and different from other ancient philosophies like Stoicism, and Brendan offers an accessible introduction to the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. In the second half of our conversation, we explore how Buddhist principles and practices can be applied to our everyday modern lives and help you deal with the anxiety created by living in an impermanent world, shift your perspective on daily challenges, and cultivate greater compassion and patience. We discuss different meditation methods, the real purpose of meditation, and how to get started with it as a beginner. We end our conversation with the Buddha's final words and what it means to “strive with vigilance.”Resources Related to the PodcastShamatha MeditationVipassana (Insight) MeditationTonglen MeditationAoM Article: A Primer on MeditationConnect With Brendan BarcaThe Daily Buddhist websiteThe Daily Buddhist on IG

 What if the traits you've been taught to suppress your entire career are actually the very qualities that separate those who get what they want from those who stay stuck waiting for recognition that never comes?Today on the show, Jenny Wood argues that most of us are living in what she calls “an invisible cage” created by an overabundance of caution, and that the biggest lie you've been told in your career is to keep your head down and let your work speak for itself.Jenny is a former Google executive who developed a career development program used by 56,000 people in nearly 100 countries, and she's the author of Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It. In our conversation, Jenny explains how traits that have a negative rap can be used for positive ends that will advance your career. We discuss how being shameless, reckless, nosy, manipulative, obsessed, and more can help you overcome your success-hindering fears, take bolder action, and achieve your goals.Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Go to shipstation.com and use code MANLINESS to sign up for your FREE trial.Connect With Jenny WoodJenny's website

When Rick Burgess was growing up, his father, Bill Burgess, was also his football coach. But Bill was a mentor on and off the field not only for his own son but for the many young men he coached at both the high school and collegiate level. Though Bill has passed on, his lessons remain timeless and valuable for all men. Today on the show, Rick shares some of his old-school wisdom with us. Rick is a radio host, a men's ministry leader, and the author of Men Don't Run in the Rain: A Son's Reflections on Life, Faith, and an Iconic Father. In our conversation, he discusses what his dad taught him through football and beyond, including why men don't run in the rain and why you need to get out of the stands, avoid being stupid, refuse to rest on your laurels, understand the difference between confidence and arrogance, and take full responsibility for your life without making excuses. We also talk about how Rick drew upon his father's wisdom when tragedy struck his life.  After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/rain

That Dwight D. Eisenhower became Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe, orchestrating the largest amphibious invasion in history on June 6, 1944, was far from inevitable.He came from the middle of nowhere — Abilene, Kansas — had never led men in battle, spent most of his career as a staff officer, and didn't make general until he was in his fifties.How, then, did he become the leader on whom the fate of the world would rest?Today, we trace the making of Ike with Michel Paradis, author of The Light of Battle. We talk about how Eisenhower's Midwestern upbringing shaped his character, and how his most important education happened outside the classroom. Michel shares how crucial mentors were in Ike's development, and how Eisenhower made the most of those relationships. We discuss the books that were most formative in shaping his thinking, including what he got from Nietzsche. We also get into some of the practices Eisenhower used to lead effectively, including how he budgeted his time to maintain his morale while under the pressure of planning D-Day and what he did the evening before the invasion to deal with the stress.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #641: How Eisenhower Led — A Conversation with Ike's GranddaughterAoM series on Eisenhower's leadershipAoM Podcast #996: Remembering D-Day 80 Years LaterThe Line Man's Bible: A Football Textbook of Detailed Instruction by Ernest Graves.Sunday Firesides: You Never Know How Many Chapters Are Still to ComeFox ConnerThe Czar of Halfaday Creek by James B. HendryxConnect With Michel ParadisMichel on LinkedInMichel's faculty page

The British just seem like a classier bunch. Part of it is that winning accent. But it's also because English culture has long been steeped in the tradition of learning and practicing etiquette.Here to share some of the essentials of modern etiquette that are important no matter which side of the pond you live on is William Hanson, a British etiquette expert and the author of Just Good Manners. William shares the difference between manners and etiquette, and why young people are especially interested in both. He then takes us through how to introduce yourself and others, the history behind the "no elbows on the table" mantra, the rules of small talk, some overlooked guidelines for table manners, how to enter a conversational circle at a party, considerations for elevator etiquette, and much more. Whether you're dining at a fancy restaurant or just want to navigate social situations with more confidence, William's insights will help you present yourself with the panache of a proper English gentleman.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #897: Answers to the FAQ of Modern EtiquetteAoM Podcast #422: Men & Manners — Tipping, Emojis, and Much MoreAoM Article: The Importance of Good MannersAoM Article: How to Acquire Good MannersAoM Article: A Man's Guide to Dining Etiquette and Proper Table MannersAoM Article: How to Make Introductions Like a GentlemanAoM Article: How to Make Small TalkAoM's Complete Guide to Giving a Great HandshakeConnect With William HansonWilliam's websiteWilliam on TikTokWilliam on IG

Uncertainty is a constant of human existence. How will market conditions affect your new business venture? What will be the results of the medical test you just took? Will a new relationship work out?For most of us, situations of uncertainty trigger anxiety, even fear. But the stress of uncertainty doesn't have to overwhelm you. You can learn to navigate it with secure, adaptable confidence so you can keep thriving and progress towards your ultimate goals.Today on the show, Rich Diviney, a retired Navy SEAL commander, returns to share insights from his new book Masters of Uncertainty. He first explains why thinking that life will be predictable keeps people from realizing their potential. He then walks us through practical techniques for dealing with uncertainty like "moving horizons," creating meaningful goals that work with our brain chemistry, and de-stressing your body so you can be more resilient and make better decisions under pressure. We also discuss how understanding your unique attributes will help you understand how you react to uncertainty and how teams can implement "dynamic subordination" to adapt in rapidly changing environments.Resources Related to the PodcastRich's previous appearance on the AoM podcast — #738: The Character Traits That Drive Optimal PerformanceAoM Article: 5 Tools for Thriving in UncertaintyAoM Article: The Best Books to Read in Uncertain TimesThe Physiological SighConnect With Rich DivineyThe Attributes websiteRich on LinkedInRich on IG

Community is one of life's most valuable but increasingly scarce resources. While we hear about a supposed epidemic of male loneliness, many men still resist joining groups or struggle to maintain involvement after initial enthusiasm wanes.Today on the show, Frank Schwartz will help us understand the barriers to building male community and how to overcome them. Frank is the CEO of F3, a free, all-volunteer men's leadership organization that uses workouts to bring men together and supports hundreds of decentralized chapters worldwide.In the first half of our conversation, Frank explains the psychology behind men's hesitation to join groups, how to navigate the "wish dream" of idealized community, and why expecting perfection kills participation. We then discuss what makes leadership in a decentralized group different from traditional hierarchies, the importance of embracing messiness, and why allowing men to make their own decisions creates stronger leaders than giving them a rulebook to follow. We end our conversation with Frank's perspective on cultivating patience as a leader and how to measure success when building a community of men.Resources Related to the PodcastF3AoM Podcast #324: How Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith Are the Cure for Sad Clown SyndromeQSource: The F3 Manual of Virtuous Leadership by David "Dredd" ReddingAoM article on phronesis/practical wisdomDying Breed article on Dietrich Bonhoeffer's vision of communityConnect With Frank SchwartzFrank on LinkedInFrank on X

Figuring out the pitfalls and best practices of adulthood can be tricky. It's helpful to have some pearls of wisdom to guide you along the way.My guest today has spent decades collecting these kinds of helpful truths and has crafted her own guiding mantras of maturity.Gretchen Rubin is the author of numerous bestselling books, including The Happiness Project, and her latest, Secrets of Adulthood. Today on the show, Gretchen shares how she came to write hundreds of aphorisms on how to navigate life, and we dig into some of my favorites of these concise, sage sayings. Amongst many topics, we discuss why "happiness doesn't always make us feel happy," the best strategy for changing ourselves, a very useful heuristic for making decisions, why you should wear a favorite sweater more often, and even why big top tables at restaurants are one of my pet peeves.Resources Related to the PodcastGretchen's booksGretchen's "What's the next new habit that will make you happier?" quizAoM Article: The Self-Deception Destroying Maxims of Francois de La RochefoucauldAoM Article: Nietzsche's 66 Best AphorismsAoM Article: Just Go to SleepSunday Firesides: Life Is for LivingConnect With Gretchen RubinGretchen's websiteGretchen on IGGretchen on FBGretchen on LinkedIn 

Feelings of burnout and boredom have become prevalent in modern life. To understand the roots of and solutions to these issues, we can turn to both ancient philosophers and contemporary thinkers. Among the latter is Korean-German philosopher Byung-Chul Han, whose thought-provoking analyses are gaining increasing recognition.If you're not yet familiar with Han's philosophy, Steven Knepper, a professor at the Virginia Military Institute and the co-author of a new critical introduction to this modern philosopher's work, will take us on a tour of some of Han's key ideas. In the first part of our conversation, Steven unpacks Han's concept of the “burnout society” and why so many of us feel tired from participating in what he calls “auto-exploitation” and “positive violence.” We then discuss how our burnout society is also a “palliative society” that tries to avoid suffering at all costs and how our obsession with health has turned us into a modern version of Nietzsche's “last man.” We end our discussion with some of Han's ideas for resisting the pitfalls of modernity, including embracing ritual, contemplation, and an openness to the mystery of others.Resources Related to the PodcastByung-Chul Han's books, including The Burnout Society and The Palliative SocietyShop Class as Soulcraft and The World Beyond Your Head by Matthew B. CrawfordNew Verse ReviewSteven's work at The LampDying Breed Article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social AccelerationDying Breed Article: What Nietzsche's Typewriter Brain Can Tell Us About Twitter BrainSunday Firesides: Protect the Sanctum Sanctorum of SelfhoodSunday Firesides: We Need as Much Meaning Extension as Life ExtensionConnect With Steven KnepperSteven at VMI

Do you have a goal to lose weight? If so, you're probably thinking about how you need to exercise more. And that can certainly help. But what about the 23 hours a day you're not at the gym? How much you move during those hours — from walking to the mailbox to fidgeting at your desk — can be just as important in winning the battle of the bulge.Here to explain the importance of what's called non-exercise activity thermogenesis, or NEAT, is Dr. James Levine, a professor, the co-director of the Mayo Clinic's Obesity Solutions Initiative, the inventor of the treadmill desk, and the author of Get Up!: Why Your Chair Is Killing You and What You Can Do About It. James explains how much more sedentary we are than we used to be and what happens to your body when, as the average American does, you spend two-thirds of your day sitting. He shares how doing the lightest kinds of physical activity, even standing more, can help you lose a significant amount of weight and improve other aspects of health, from your sleep to your mood. And we talk about how to easily incorporate more NEAT into your day.Resources Related to the PodcastRole of Nonexercise Activity Thermogenesis in Resistance to Fat Gain in Humans — James' overfeeding studyAoM Article: The Digestive Power of an After-Dinner WalkAoM Podcast #552: How to Optimize Your MetabolismAoM Article: The Importance of Building Your Daily Sleep Pressure

The era of artificially intelligent large language models is upon us and isn't going away. Rather, AI tools like ChatGPT are only going to get better and better and affect more and more areas of human life.If you haven't yet felt both amazed and unsettled by these technologies, you probably haven't explored their true capabilities.My guest today will explain why everyone should spend at least 10 hours experimenting with these chatbots, what it means to live in an age where AI can pass the bar exam, beat humans at complex tests, and even make us question our own creative abilities, what AI might mean for the future of work and education, and how to use these new tools to enhance rather than detract from your humanity.Ethan Mollick is a professor at the Wharton business school and the author of Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI. Today on the show, Ethan explains the impact of the rise of AI and why we should learn to utilize tools like ChatGPT as a collaborator — a co-worker, co-teacher, co-researcher, and coach. He offers practical insights into harnessing AI to complement your own thinking, remove tedious tasks from your workday, and amplify your productivity. We'll also explore how to craft effective prompts for large language models, maximize their potential, and thoughtfully navigate what may be the most profound technological shift of our lifetimes.Connect With Ethan MollickEthan's faculty pageOne Useful Thing SubstackEthan on LinkedInEthan on BlueskyEthan on X

When you scroll through social media feeds today, you'll find countless posts about “living your truth” and “being authentic.” These ideas feel so natural to us now that we rarely stop to ask where they came from or what they really mean.The concept of identity — how we understand ourselves — has undergone a radical transformation over the centuries. What once was defined primarily by external markers like family, profession, and community has shifted dramatically toward inner feelings, desires, and psychological experiences.Today on the show, Carl Trueman unpacks this profound change and how we got to the lens through which we view ourselves today. Carl is a professor, theologian, and the author of The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self. Throughout our conversation, he explores the insights of three key thinkers — Charles Taylor, Philip Rieff, and Alasdair MacIntyre — who have mapped the historical and cultural shifts that have transformed our ideas of identity. We discuss how this transformation has reshaped politics, education, and religion, while considering whether we've lost something essential in moving from a shared understanding of human nature to an increasingly individualized conception of self.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Triumph of the Therapeutic: Uses of Faith After Freud by Philip RieffSources of the Self: The Making of the Modern Identity by Charles TaylorAfter Virtue: A Study in Moral Theory by Alasdair MacIntyreThe Abolition of Man by C.S. LewisAoM Podcast #723: Men Without ChestsAoM Article: 3 Essential Books for Understanding Our Disorienting Modern WorldAoM Article: Why Are Modern Debates on Morality So Shrill?Carl's writing at First ThingsConnect With Carl TruemanCarl's faculty page 

Resilience is often touted as the end all, be all of coping with life's challenges and setbacks. But my guest knows from her studies, executive coaching, and her own life that sometimes resilience just isn't enough. You need an even more durable source of strength.Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist and researcher and the author of Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos. Today on the show, Tasha explains why the concept of resilience rose to prominence in the 2010s, how resilience can be improved a little as a skill, but is largely an exhaustible capacity, and how you know when you're hitting your "resilience ceiling." We then talk about the more sustainable skillset and strength of becoming shatterproof. We discuss the potential to grow forward instead of simply bouncing back, the psychological needs that have to be met to become shatterproof, and research-backed tools for thriving in life instead of just surviving.Resources Related to the PodcastTasha's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #644 — How to Develop Greater Self-AwarenessAoM Article: On Becoming AntifragileSelf-determination theorySunday Firesides: You Don't Have the Time, Not to Take the TimeConnect With Tasha EurichTasha's websiteShatterproof website

When you think about ancient gladiators, you likely have a certain vision that comes to mind: slaves forced to fight to the death for the entertainment of bloodthirsty Romans.But much of what we think we know about gladiators is actually wrong.Today on the show, Alexander Mariotti will separate the just-as-fascinating fact from popular-culture-derived fiction when it comes to gladiatorial combat in ancient Rome. Alexander is a historian and an expert on gladiators who's served as a consultant for shows and films like Spartacus and Gladiator II.In our conversation, Alexander explains how gladiatorial games evolved from funeral rites into professional sporting events featuring the greatest superstar athletes and sex symbols of the day. We discuss the different types of gladiators, their rigorous training regimens, why gladiators fought in their underwear, and whether they actually fought to the death. Alexander describes what a day at the Colosseum was really like, complete with elaborate special effects, halftime shows, souvenirs, and even concessions. And we talk about the connections between the gladiatorial games and the sports and spectacle culture of today, and why, despite the passage of two millennia, these ancient athletes continue to captivate our imagination.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Lessons in Manliness from GladiatorAoM Article: The Men in the Arena–A Primer on Roman GladiatorsGladiatorGladiator IISpartacus series"Gladiator 2 History Consultant Hits Back at Inaccuracy Claims"Connect With Alexander MariottiAlexander's website

Face-to-face socializing in America has declined by more than 20% nationwide. Among some groups, like young adults and unmarried men, the drop is closer to 40%.But strangely, this hasn't led to the loneliness epidemic that you hear so much about. Instead, we're seeing a new phenomenon: rising aloneness without rising loneliness.Today on the show, Derek Thompson will help us understand this puzzling disconnect and its profound implications. Derek is a staff writer at The Atlantic who recently wrote a piece entitled “The Anti-Social Century.” In the first half of our conversation, Derek unpacks the cultural shifts and technological developments — and no, it's not just the smartphone — that have created what he calls the “convenience curse.” We then get into why even self-described introverts are often happier when forced to socialize, the concerning trend of young men settling further and further into isolating, sedentary leisure, and practical ways we can strengthen our atrophied social muscles to become better, happier people.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Your Social FitnessAoM Podcast #742: The Power of Talking to StrangersAoM Article: Introversion as an ExcuseAoM Podcast #176: The Vanishing Neighbor & The Transformation of American CommunityAoM Article: Use Technology Like the AmishConnect With Derek ThompsonDerek on X

People commonly think of time as a fixed, linear, objective structure. But our own experiences belie this belief. We've all been in situations where time has seemed to drag on or speed up, and there are even whole periods of our lives that seem to have gone by slower or faster.As my guest Steve Taylor will explain, time is a lot more fluid and moldable than we often recognize. Steve is a psychologist and the author of Time Expansion Experiences: The Psychology of Time Perception and the Illusion of Linear Time. Today on the show, he unpacks the four laws of psychological time. He discusses the theories as to why time speeds up as we get older and what factors slow down and speed up time. We delve into the way time particularly expands in accidents and emergencies, giving people the ability to take life-saving measures. And we discuss why some people are more likely to have time expansion experiences than others, and what you can do to slow down time and make your life feel longer as a result.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Be a Time Wizard — How to Slow Down and Speed Up TimeAoM Article: More Footage — Take the One-Month “Do Something New Every Day” ChallengeConnect With Steve TaylorSteve's website

Pornography is more prevalent and accessible than ever before, yet its effects on relationships, mental health, and human development aren't popularly well understood. Discussions on the topic are often engaged in from an emotional or religious point of view; less typical is a discussion of pornography from an empirical frame.My guest today, Dr. Brian Willoughby, a social scientist who has spent the past 15 years studying porn's impacts, will unpack what the research actually says about how it affects personal well-being, relationship satisfaction, and sexual expectations. We discuss the latest data on porn use across different demographics, how porn impacts religious versus non-religious populations differently, and how exposure affects kids. Brian shares whether using porn causes erectile dysfunction and depression, what parents should know about talking to their kids about porn, the main risk of porn that's typically under-discussed, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM's series on porn and how to quit it (also available as an ebook)NYT article that Brian was interviewed for: "It's Time to Talk About Pornography, Scholars Say"Most People With Addiction Simply Grow Out of ItNYT article: "The Teen Trend of Sexual Choking"Brian's researchConnect With Brian WilloughbyBrian's faculty pageBrian at the Wheatley Institute

The idea for the Art of Manliness came to me 17 years ago as I was standing in the magazine section of a Borders bookstore. As inspiration struck, I took my Moleskine out of my pocket and jotted down some notes, like potential names — I considered things like “The Manly Arts” before settling on “The Art of Manliness” — categories of content, and initial article ideas. Almost two decades later, the fruits of those notebook jottings are still bearing out.That's the power of a pocket pad's possibilities, something Roland Allen explores in The Notebook: A History of Thinking on Paper. Today on the show, Roland traces the fascinating history of notebooks and how they went from a business technology for accounting to a creative technology for artists. We talk about how famous figures from Leonardo da Vinci to Theodore Roosevelt used notebooks, the different forms notebooks have taken from the Italian zibaldone to the friendship book to the modern bullet journal, and why keeping a personal diary has fallen out of favor. Along the way, we discuss ways you can fruitfully use notebooks today, and why, even in our digital age, they remain an irreplaceable tool for thinking and creativity.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: 100 Ways to Use Your Pocket NotebookAoM Article: The Manly Tradition of the Pocket NotebookAoM Article: The Pocket Notebooks of 20 Famous MenAoM Podcast #194: The Field Notes of Theodore RooseveltAoM Article: The Right and Wrong Way to JournalAoM Article: Finally Understand How to Keep a Bullet JournalLeonardo da Vinci's notebooksCharles Darwin's notebooksJohn Locke's Method for Commonplace BooksConnect With Roland AllenRoland's website

A lot of people go into marriage with a 50/50 mindset. Everything in the relationship — from tangible things like childcare and chores to intangible things like the effort and energy needed to keep the partnership going — is supposed to be divided equally.The 50/50 approach to relationships is all about fairness. And that seems sensible and rational.But, my guest says, it actually sabotages relational happiness.Nate Klemp is a former philosophy professor and the co-author, along with his wife, of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship. Today on the show, Nate shares how cognitive biases skew our perception of our contributions to a relationship, what happens when couples get stuck in the 50/50 mindset of domestic scorekeeping, and how shifting to an 80/80 model of “radical generosity” can create an upward spiral of connection and appreciation. And we discuss practical ways to divide household responsibilities, decide how much time to spend with each spouse's respective parents, and establish values that will guide your partnership as you navigate life changes and work towards a spirit of shared success.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM article and podcast on how to hold a weekly marriage meetingAoM Article: Towards a Philosophy of Household ManagementAoM Article: Beware the Tit for Tat TrapConnect With Nate Klemp80/80 Marriage websiteNate's websiteNate on LinkedInNate on IG

For several decades, people's reported sleep quality has declined. This, despite the fact that specially optimized sheets, mattresses, and sleep trackers have emerged during that time, and despite the fact that the amount of time people are sleeping hasn't decreased for over fifty years.In other words, people aren't sleeping less than they used to, but are less happy about their sleep than ever before.My guest would say that to improve our experience of sleep, we'd be better off looking past the reams of modern advice out there and back in time — way, way back in time.Today on the show, Dr. Merijn van de Laar, a recovering insomniac, sleep therapist, and the author of How toSleep Like a Caveman: Ancient Wisdom for a Better Night's Rest, will tell us how learning about our prehistoric ancestors' sleep can help us relax about our own. He explains that the behaviors we think of as sleep problems are actually normal, natural, and even adaptive. We talk about why hunter-gatherers actually sleep less than we think we need to, how their natural wake periods during the night might explain our own sleep patterns, the methods they use to get better sleep, and why our modern efforts to optimize sleep could be making it worse. Merijn shares when it's okay to use a smartphone before bed, the myth that you have to get eight hours of sleep a night, how to intentionally use sleep deprivation to improve your sleep, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: 22 Ways to Get a Better Night's SleepAoM Article: What Every Man Should Know About SleepAoM Article: What to Do When You Can't SleepAoM Article: The Importance of Building Your Daily Sleep PressureAoM Podcast #661: Get Better Sleep by Stressing About It LessAoM Podcast #736: Could Sleeping in Separate Beds Improve Your Relationship?Study: Hadza sleep biology — Evidence for flexible sleep-wake patterns in hunter-gatherersConnect With Merijn van de LaarMerijn's website

There has been a lot of cultural discussion of the way digital technologies and social media contribute to things like political polarization and adolescent depression.But as I'll explore with Nicholas Carr, the author of Superbloom, our digital tools are also changing our ability to connect with others and our sense of self in less appreciated ways.Today on the show, Nicholas unpacks why the optimistic idea that more communication is always better hasn't panned out and how the speed and volume of modern communication is overwhelming our human capacity to process information and maintain meaningful relationships. We discuss why the "messiness" of pre-digital communication might have actually been better for us, how email has evolved from thoughtful letters to rushed messages, and why seeing more of people online often makes us like them less. Nicholas also explains why having different versions of ourselves for different contexts was actually healthy and the simple rubric for better managing our relationship with digital communication tools.Resources Related to the PodcastNicholas' previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #276: Utopia is CreepyEpisode #632: How the Internet Makes Our Minds ShallowCharles Horton CooleyAoM Article: More Than Ever, the Medium Is the MessageConnect With Nicholas CarrNicholas' websiteNicholas' Substack, New Cartographies

When people get stuck in their job or personal life, the common response is to either work harder or shrug and accept that "that's just the way things are."My guest today has a much better solution to getting moving and making progress again.Dan Heath is a bestselling author whose latest book is Reset: How to Change What's Not Working. Today on the show, Dan shares how to escape from ineffective systems and the inertia of continuing to do things the way they've always been done by pressing on leverage points — places where a little bit of effort yields disproportionate returns. Dan explains why you need "to go and see the work," why meaningful change requires "restacking resources," how short, focused "bursts" of effort often accomplish more than prolonged campaigns, how sometimes being inefficient can actually make us more effective, and more. Along the way, Dan shares plenty of stories and examples that illustrate how to implement these principles into your work, relationships, and family.Resources Related to the PodcastDan's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #591 — Solve Problems Before They Become ProblemsAoM Article: You Need a Reset DayAoM Podcast #896: The Art and Science of Getting UnstuckYouTube video: Spotify Engineering CultureConnect With Dan HeathDan's website

Think about a time you've had to speak in front of others — maybe during a work presentation, a wedding toast, or even on a first date. Did you struggle with using too many filler words, such as "um" and "like," talk too fast, or awkwardly ramble?Most of us try to fix these saboteurs of speech by giving ourselves mental mantras: "Slow down"; "Think about what you want to say."But my guest would say that becoming a more engaging and effective speaker comes down to realizing that it's a very physical act that requires getting out of your head and into your body.Michael Chad Hoeppner, a communication coach who has worked with everyone from presidential candidates to business executives, is the author of Don't Say Um: How to Communicate Effectively to Live a Better Life. Today on the show, Michael explains why you need to treat speaking as a sport and shares embodied drills and exercises — from playing with Legos to talking with a wine cork in your mouth to throwing a ball against a wall — that will fix common delivery problems, including eliminating ums, enhancing vocal variety, and managing your gestures.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Becoming Well-Spoken — How to Minimize Your Uhs and UmsAoM Podcast #698: The Secrets of Public Speaking From History's Greatest OratorsAoM Podcast #732: Tips From a Top TED Talker on How to Be HeardConnect With Michael Chad HoeppnerGK TrainingDon't Say Um website Michael on LinkedInMichael on X

I first read Man's Search for Meaning by the neurologist, psychologist, and philosopher Viktor Frankl in high school, and I have re-read it several times since. It's one of the books that's had the biggest impact on my life, so it was a real treat to speak with Alexander Vesely, Frankl's grandson, about his grandfather's ideas and legacy.Today on the show, I talk to Alexander, who is a documentarian, and like his grandfather, a psychotherapist, about Frankl's life, his development of logotherapy, a type of meaning-centered therapy, and how that approach to the psyche was tested during Frankl's time in the concentration camps. We discuss why Frankl said that "everyone has their own Auschwitz," how a lack of existential meaning can create depression, the three ways to actualize meaning in your life, whether meaning is something that is objective or subjective, the freedom we have to choose our attitude in all circumstances, including suffering, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklThe Doctor and the Soul by Viktor FranklViktor and I: The Life and Work of Viktor Frankl — Alexander's documentary about his grandfatherLiving Logotherapy by Elisabeth Lukas and Heidi Schönfeld Logotherapy Online AcademyViktor Frankl Institute Connect With Alexander VeselyAlexander at the Viktor Frankl InstituteAlexander on LinkedInAlexander on IG

Think about your habits, the things you do automatically without much thought — from brushing your teeth in the morning to scrolling social media before bed.There's a lot going on with these behaviors.On one level, they're just routines and actions wired into our brains through repetition. But there's also more to it than that. Our habits shape who we are, influence our health and happiness, and determine much of our success in life. There's a reason changing habits is one of the most powerful ways to transform ourselves.Today on the show, Dr. Gina Cleo will help us understand the science of habit formation and how we can harness it to build better behaviors. Gina is a researcher with a PhD in habit change and the author of The Habit Revolution: Simple Steps to Rewire Your Brain for Powerful Habit Change. Gina and I discuss the three elements of the habit loop and how to hack them to develop good habits and break bad ones. Along the way, we talk about why micro-habits are so effective for creating lasting change, the differences between men and women when it comes to forming habits, how long it really takes for a habit to stick, and much more.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Unlocking the Science of Habits — How to Hack the Habit LoopAoM Podcast #470: A Proven System for Building and Breaking HabitsAoM Podcast #581: The Tiny Habits That Change EverythingAoM Article: Disenchant Your Bad HabitsSelf-Compassion by Kristin NeffConnect With Gina Cleo Gina's website

Most everyone wants to live a good, meaningful life, though we don't always know what that means and how to do it. Plenty of modern self-improvement programs claim to point people in the right direction, but many of the best answers were already offered more than two thousand years ago.My guests have gleaned the cream of this orienting, ancient-yet-evergreen advice from history's philosophers and shared it in their new book, The Good Life Method: Reasoning Through the Big Questions of Happiness, Faith, and Meaning. Their names are Meghan Sullivan and Paul Blaschko, and they're professors of philosophy at the University of Notre Dame. Today on the show Meghan and Paul introduce us to the world of virtue ethics — an approach to philosophy that examines the nature of the good life, the values and habits that lead to excellence, and how to find and fulfill your purpose as a human being. We discuss how to seek truth with other people by asking them three levels of what they call “strong questions” and engaging in civil and fruitful dialogue. We then delve into why your intentions matter and why you should use “morally thick” language. We also examine the role that work and love has to play in pursuing the good life, and how the latter is very much about attention. We end our conversation with how a life of eudaimonia — full human flourishing — requires balancing action with contemplation.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM article and podcast on phronesis or practical wisdomAristotle's Nicomachean EthicsAfter Virtue by Alasdair MacIntyreAoM Article: Why Are Modern Debates on Morality So Shrill?Sunday Firesides: Virtue Isn't Virtue Til It's TestedIris MurdochAoM Article: Why Men Should Read More FictionThe Road by Cormac McCarthyAoM podcast on The RoadAoM article on contemplative self-examination, including instructions on how to do the examen of St. IgnatiusConnect With Meghan and PaulMeghan's Faculty PagePaul's Faculty Page

Think of all the texts, emails, and social media posts you're inundated with each day. Sometimes you read them, and sometimes you swipe them away, telling yourself, perhaps not so honestly, that you'll revisit them later.If you're the sender of such missives and memos or the creator of content, you hope the recipient has the first response, that, instead of deep-sixing your message, they take the time to engage and take action on it.How do you increase the odds of that happening? Rather than just guessing at the answer, Todd Rogers has done empirical experiments to discover it. Todd is a behavioral scientist, a professor of public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School, and the author of Writing for Busy Readers: Communicate More Effectively in the Real World. Today on the show, Todd explains the four-stage process people use in deciding whether to engage with your writing, whether in a personal or business context, and how influencing these factors not only comes down to the style of your writing, but its overall design. Todd offers tips to improve both areas, so that you can effectively capture people's attention.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #971: The 5 Factors for Crafting Simple (Read: Effective!) MessagesAoM Podcast #666: The Power of Brevity in a Noisy WorldAoM Podcast #580: Why People Do (Or Don't) Listen to YouConnect With Todd RogersTodd on XTodd's faculty pageWriting for Busy Readers website

What if there was one piece of fitness equipment that was affordable, didn't take up much space, could get you both strong and flexible, and was fun to use?While that might sound too good to be true, my guest, Pat Flynn, would say you can find all those benefits in the old-school kettlebell. Pat, who's the author of Strong ON!: 101 Minimalist Kettlebell Workouts to Blast Fat, Build Muscle, and Boost Flexibility―in 20 Minutes or Less, calls kettlebells the Swiss Army knife  of workout tools and the minimalist's ultimate secret fitness weapon.Today on the show, we unpack why Pat's such an advocate for bells, but before we get there, we first take a dive into his background in philosophy and why beginning a workout program takes faith. We then talk about how to use kettlebells to get an all-around fit physique, including the three kettlebell weights that make for an ideal starter set, the two best exercises for building muscle, the pyramid-shaped program that can facilitate body recomposition, how to incorporate progressive overload into kettlebell training, which kettlebell exercise Coach Dan John considers “the fat-burning athlete builder,” the “300 Swings Challenge” that will help you take a Bruce Lee approach to fitness, and much more.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Become Strong Like Bull — The Kettlebell WorkoutAoM Article: How to Perform 4 Kettlebell Exercises — An Illustrated GuideAoM Podcast #295 — Kettlebells and the Psychology of TrainingAoM Article: Strength, Power, Conditioning — How to Master the Kettlebell SwingConnect With Pat FlynnStrong ON! websiteKettlebell Quickies YouTube ChannelPat on IG

The Roman caesars were the rulers of the Roman Empire, beginning in 27 BC with Julius Caesar's heir Augustus, from whom subsequent caesars took their name, and lasting until around the fall of the Western Empire in 476 AD. The caesars transitioned the Roman Republic to autocratic rule, consolidating vast territories under centralized authority and shaping Western governance, law, and culture. Their reign marked one of history's most influential periods, laying the groundwork for modern empires and enduring legacies in political and architectural innovation.They also left behind some instructive leadership lessons, in both what and what not to do.Here to unpack some of the Roman Empire's most significant caesars as both histories and leadership case studies is Barry Strauss, who is a classicist, professor, military historian, fellow at Stanford's Hoover Institution, and the author of numerous books, including Ten Caesars. Today on the show, Barry shares how Augustus consolidated power by initially cleaning house, a redeeming quality of the otherwise infamous Nero, the strategies Vespasian and Severus used to gain legitimacy as outsiders, why Marcus Aurelius was an insightful philosopher but struggled as an emperor, the emperor under whose rule the empire began its decline, what Constantine understood about the idea that if you want things to stay the same, everything must change, and much more.Resources Related to the PodcastBarry's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #487 — Leadership Lessons From the 3 Greatest Ancient CommandersBarry's forthcoming book: Jews vs. Rome — Two Centuries of Rebellion Against the World's Mightiest EmpireAoM Podcast #346: The Fall of the Roman RepublicAoM Podcast #969: The Making of a Stoic EmperorConnect With Barry StraussBarry's websiteBarry's faculty pageBarry on LinkedIn

When people think about winter, they often focus on the negatives: the cold, the dark, and the seasonal depression the season can bring. But my guest today questions whether winter really has to be so miserable and says that by changing our mindset, we can actually learn to enjoy and even thrive during this season.Kari Leibowitz is a psychologist and the author of How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days. She spent a year at the northernmost university in the world in Tromsø, Norway, studying why people living in the Arctic, where the sun doesn't rise for two months, don't suffer from seasonal depression at the rates you might expect. Today on the show, Kari explains how our expectations can create a nocebo effect that makes winter feel worse than it needs to, why breaking winter into three distinct sub-seasons can help us appreciate it more, how Nordic practices like hygge can make darkness feel cozy rather than oppressive, and why getting outside and staying social — even when it's cold and dark — are keys to thriving during the season.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #856: Befriending WinterAoM Article: 8 Things That Can Help You Get More Hygge This WinterAoM Podcast #566: How to Have a Hyggely Christmas and a More Memorable New YearAoM Article: How Saunas Can Help Save Your Body, Mind, and SpiritAoM Podcast #801: The Cold Water Swim CureSunday Firesides: Contentment Through ContrastSunday Firesides: No Such Thing as Bad WeatherConnect With Kari LeibowitzKari's websiteKari on XKari's Substack — Wintry Mix

Feeling overwhelmed by an endless to-do list? Like you're constantly putting out fires but never getting ahead? You're not alone. Many people today feel like they're drowning in urgency — filling every minute with tasks that feel critical in the moment but may not truly matter in the long run.Here to help us understand how to escape this cycle is Matt Reynolds, a strength coach, business owner, and the author of Undoing Urgency: How to Focus on What Matters Most. Today on the show, Matt explains what creates that feeling of being overwhelmed by urgency, how to distinguish between status and true value, and why you can only effectively pursue 2-3 major goals at once. We discuss using the Eisenhower Decision Matrix to identify what tasks truly matter, how to apply the concept of "minimum effective dose" beyond just fitness, and why sometimes the pursuit of a goal matters more than achieving it. We end our conversation with concrete steps you can take today to start undoing urgency in your life.Resources Related to the PodcastMatt's previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #826: From Novice to Advanced — The Weightlifter's JourneyEpisode #302: My Workout Routine & The Benefits of a Strength CoachEpisode #154: Strength Training for EveryoneAoM Article: The Eisenhower Decision Matrix — How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks and Make Real Progress in Your LifeAoM Article: Motivation Over Discipline Connect With Matt ReynoldsMatt's websiteBarbell LogicTurnKey Coach

Sports gambling has exploded in America. You can't watch a game today without being bombarded by ads from betting companies, often co-branded with the major sports leagues themselves. It's a dramatic shift from just seven years ago, when these same leagues were unified in their opposition to legalized sports betting.Michael Lewis, the bestselling author of Moneyball, The Big Short, and The Blind Side, has been exploring this transformation in the latest season of his podcast Against the Rules. Today on the show, Michael explains how we went from prohibition to proliferation, unpacking how a 2018 Supreme Court decision opened the floodgates for an industry that's now seeing over $100 billion in annual bets. We discuss how betting companies use data and psychology to nudge people into making increasingly complex and unfavorable wagers, why young men are particularly susceptible to gambling addiction, and what the rise of "prop bets" means for the integrity of sports. We also get into the concerning public health implications of widespread sports betting and what past addictive epidemics might tell us about where this is all heading.Connect With Michael LewisAgainst the Rules podcastMichael's website Michael on FB

The Industrial Revolution changed the nature of work, so that many people labored in factories, continuously performing the same task, at the same pace, for the duration of their shift.Two centuries on, even though most folks have moved from working with their hands to working with their heads and from manufacturing set outputs to solving complex problems, generating creative ideas, and processing information, we still tend to work as if we're manning an assembly line.My guest says that being stuck in this factory framework is to our detriment, and that there's a much better way to do knowledge work, one that's less like manning an assembly line and more like driving a car.Mithu Storoni is a Cambridge-trained physician, a neuroscience researcher, and the author of Hyperefficient: Optimize Your Brain to Transform the Way You Work. Today on the show, Mithu offers a modern approach to achieving peak performance and explains why it's better to impose the natural rhythms of our brains on our work than to impose the rhythms of our work on our brains. She shares why you should treat your brain like an engine with three different gears, how people have different "gear personalities," and how to use environmental cues, specially structured 90-minutes cycles of work, and even caffeine to shift your brain into the optimal gear for different mental challenges.Resources Related to the PodcastMithu's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Podcast #525: How to Stress Proof Your Body and BrainAoM Podcast #743: How to Get Time, Priorities, and Energy Working in Your FavorConnect With Mithu StoroniMithu's websiteMithu on XMithu on IGMithu on LinkedIn

In an age where a lot of formalized decorum has vanished, the holidays are still a time with rules, traditions, and unspoken expectations. It's also a time of heightened social interactions and increased opportunities to demonstrate warmth, hospitality, and all-around gentlemanly politeness.  Here to help us navigate the many scenarios for practicing good etiquette that the holidays present is Thomas Farley, aka Mr. Manners. Today on the show, Thomas shares the neglected aspects of flying etiquette, how to be a non-annoying houseguest, the paradoxes of party arrival punctuality, whether a dinner party host should accommodate the special dietary restrictions of guests, how to get lingering guests out of your home after a party, how to best navigate an office holiday party, the rules of regifting, guidelines for holiday tipping, and much more.Resources Related to the PodcastThomas' previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #897 — Answers to the FAQ of Modern EtiquetteAoM Article: How to be the Perfect HouseguestAoM Article: How to Be a Gracious HostAoM Article: How to Be the Ultimate Party HostAoM Article: A Gentleman Never Arrives Empty-HandedEsquire's Handbook for Hosts: A Time-Honored Guide to the Perfect PartyThomas' TEDx talk on tipping cultureSinbad's bit about people ordering at McDonald'sConnect With Thomas FarleyThomas' websiteThomas on IGThomas on X

Many people think becoming wealthy is all about having the right job, inheritance, or just lucky breaks. And those things can certainly give you a leg up. But according to my guest, the biggest key to building wealth is your mindset, as research shows that even high earners can stay broke forever if they're trapped in poor thinking patterns, while others can build lasting wealth on modest incomes by developing the right mental approach.Dr. Brad Klontz is a financial psychologist, wealth manager, and professor, and the co-author of Start Thinking Rich: 21 Harsh Truths to Take You from Broke to Financial Freedom. Today on the show, Brad explains the critical difference between being broke and being poor, how learned helplessness keeps people financially stuck, and practical ways to develop an agentic, wealth-building mindset. We also tackle thorny issues like the role of homeownership in building wealth and how to handle relationships that might be holding back your financial future.Resources Related to the PodcastBrad‘s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #529 — The Money Scripts That Are Holding Back Your Financial FutureAoM Podcast #321: How to Think About MoneyAoM Podcast #536: How to Achieve a “Rich Life” With Your FinancesAoM Article: Taking Control of Your LifeAoM Article: Avoiding Learned HelplessnessAoM Article: A Young Man's Guide to Understanding Retirement Accounts — IRAsCompound Interest Calculator Connect With BradKlontzStart Thinking Rich website Brad‘s website

Endurance activities, like distance running, have existed since ancient times. But humans' relationship to those pursuits has changed, according to time and place. In the West, we've currently turned endurance sports into a science — tracking every metric and chasing personal records through sophisticated technology and personalized training plans. But as my guest, who's spent years studying the running cultures in different societies, knows well, this modern, individualized, data-driven approach isn't the only way to pursue the art of endurance.Michael Crawley is a competitive runner, social anthropologist, and the author of To the Limit. On the show today, we first examine how Western athletes have "workified" running through technology and social media. We then look at how other cultures approach running differently, including why East African runners emphasize group training over individual goals and how the Rarámuri people of Mexico incorporate spiritual dimensions into their running. We end our conversation with how we might rediscover more meaningful, holistic ways to approach our own physical pastimes.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #1,021: You Were Born to RunBorn to Run by Christopher McDougallConnect With Michael CrawleyMichael on XMichael on IGMichael's faculty page

These days, you hear more and more about parents and adult children being estranged from each other. Some individuals have even decided to go "no contact" with their parents; they don't want anything to do with their mom and/or dad at all.To understand what's behind this phenomenon, today I talk to Joshua Coleman, a psychologist who's spent 40 years counseling families and the author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict. Joshuagoes beyond the typical one-sided narratives around parent-child estrangement that tell the story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents, to unpack the larger cultural context for why these tensions have arisen. We discuss how society has moved from upholding a honor-thy-father-and-mother sense of obligation to prioritizing individuality and optionality, and why despite the fact that we're more child-focused and psychologically aware than ever, familial estrangements are on the rise. We get into the common reasons for estrangement, the role that expanding ideas of what constitutes abuse and trauma and an adult child's therapist can play in it, and how much parents can really be blamed for how their kids turn out. And we get into what parents who are estranged from their children can do to reconcile with them. Even if you're not personally estranged from a family member, the discussion of the underlying dynamics influencing all our modern relationships is a fascinating one.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #788: The Dangers of “Concept Creep”AoM Podcast #873: The Myths of TraumaConnect With Joshua ColemanJoshua's website

Think about a hot loaf of bread fresh out of the oven.There's a lot going on with that loaf.On one level, it's a literal food that's been created through chemical processes. A delicious — your mouth might be watering right now — form of sustenance.But there's also more to it than that. There's something about bread, the so-called staff of life, that's different from other foods and resonates on a deeper level. There's a reason bread has been a rich symbol throughout times and cultures and figures prominently in religious scriptures.Today on the show, Peter Reinhart will take us on an exploration of the many facets of bread, from the spiritual to the scientific. Peter is a baker, educator, and the author of numerous books, including The Bread Baker's Apprentice: Mastering the Art of Extraordinary Bread. In the first half of our conversation, Peter unpacks the deeper, mystical meanings of bread by walking us through the twelve steps of how it's made. We then get into why sourdough is the future and final frontier of bread, and the technical secrets to mixing, fermenting, and baking a killer loaf.Resources Related to the PodcastPeter's booksPeter's recipes for overnight fermented lean dough and morePeter's TED talkAoM Article: Bread Baking 101 for BeginnersConnect With Peter ReinhartPeter's Pizza Quest website

It's not uncommon for former law enforcement officers and intelligence agents to write self-help books where they share how the lessons they learned in their professional careers can apply to people in any walk of life.What is rare is for one of these officers-turned-authors to publicly prove they know what they're talking about and that their tips work, as Derrick Levasseur did by winning the reality show Big Brother.Derrick is a former undercover detective, current private investigator, and the author of The Undercover Edge: Find Your Hidden Strengths, Learn to Adapt, and Build the Confidence to Win Life's Game. Today on the show, Derrick shares how he became an undercover police officer, what he learned from that job, how he applied those lessons on Big Brother, and how you can use similar techniques to influence others, know when someone is lying, and bounce back from adversity.Resources Related to the PodcastDerrick's season of Big BrotherDerrick's podcastsCrime WeeklyDetective Perspective The Johari WindowAoM Podcast #830: How to Read Minds and Detect DeceptionConnect With Derrick LevasseurDerrick's websiteDerrick on IGDerrick on YouTube

When it comes to weight management and all-around good metabolic health, we most often think about what to eat. But my guest would say that it's also crucial to think about when to eat,Emily Manoogian is a chronobiologist and clinical researcher at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies. Today on the show, Emily shares how to create an optimal schedule for a healthy metabolism by aligning your eating schedule with your circadian rhythm. She explains when to start eating after waking, when to stop eating before bed, the importance of sticking to a set schedule, and what happens to your metabolism when you don't follow these timing guidelines. We also talk about how to best distribute your calorie intake throughout the day and how to eat to mitigate the metabolic problems that come with being a shift worker.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Salk InstituteMy Circadian Clock appAoM Podcast #1,016: Unlock Better Sleep and Health by Harnessing Your Circadian RhythmConnect with Emily ManoogianEmily on LinkedInEmily on X

In 18th century America, this book was second in popularity only to the Bible.It was a favorite of many thinkers and leaders throughout history, including Emerson, Napoleon, Machiavelli, Nietzsche, and even President Truman.Yet, you probably haven't read it.It's Plutarch's Parallel Lives.If you're not familiar with Plutarch's Lives, you're in for a treat, as today's episode offers a great intro. My guest, Alex Petkas, found that even though he's a former classicist and professor, Plutarch's Lives is still a tough read, which is why he started a podcast, The Cost of Glory, to make it more accessible to people. He does the same thing on today's episode, sharing the background on Plutarch's set of biographies and its major themes. Alex explains why Plutarch thought that biography was a powerful way to transmit morals and how the Homeric virtue he had in mind differed from that of just having good, upstanding character. Alex then gives us a taste of Plutarch as we discuss the lives of two obscure Greek and Roman figures. We end our conversation with how to get started studying Plutarch yourself.Resources Related to the PodcastCost of Glory websiteAlex's resource on how to read Plutarch's Lives, with links to the mentioned Penguin editionsAlex's recommended episodes of the Cost of Glory podcast:Pompey I: Kid ButcherCrassus I: Richest Man in RomeAoM Article: An Intro to EnvyAoM Article: Envy, Ressentiment, and the Inversion of ValuesAoM Podcast #949: Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk AboutSullaEumenesSertoriusBlood and Thunder: The Epic Story of Kit Carson and the Conquest of the American West by Hampton Sides + AoM podcast episode about the bookConnect with Alex PetkasAlex on LinkedInAlex on XAlex on IG

This episode starts off a little differently than others — with a short quiz, something called the Brief Sensation-Seeking Scale, which will tell you whether you're what psychologists call a high sensation-seeker or a low sensation-seeker. Read the following eight statements, and then pick a number from 1 to 5 that corresponds to your level of agreement, where 1 is "Not at all like me," 2 is "Not like me," 3 is "Unsure or both like and not like me," 4 is "Like me," and 5 is "Very much like me."I would like to explore strange places.I would like to take off on a trip with no pre-planned routes or timetables.I get restless when I spend too much time alone.I prefer friends who are excitingly unpredictable.I like wild parties.I would love to have new and exciting experiences, even if they are illegal.I would like to try bungee jumping.I would like to do frightening things.Now add up all the numbers together. If you scored between 8 and 16, you are a low sensation-seeker. If you scored between 16 and 28, you're about average for sensation-seeking. If you scored over 28, you're a high sensation-seeker.Today on the show, I unpack what these categories of personality mean with Dr. Kenneth Carter, a clinical psychologist, a professor, and the author of Buzz!: Inside the Minds of Thrill-Seekers, Daredevils, and Adrenaline Junkies. Ken explains how sensation-seeking exists on a spectrum between chill seekers, who like safety and calm routine, and thrill seekers, who enjoy chaos, risk, and novelty. He shares how there are actually four components to high sensation-seeking, and which two tend to get people in trouble. And we talk about whether being high or low sensation-seeking is a matter of nature or nurture, how high sensation-seekers fare in romantic relationships and what they should consider in choosing a career, and what the world's chill seekers can learn from its thrill seekers.Resources Related to the Podcast40-Question Sensation-Seeking Scale TestConnect with Ken CarterKen's websiteKen on IGKen on XKen's faculty page

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love,” Charlie Brown once said. Indeed, being spurned by one's crush, or, for that matter, by a friend or potential employer, not only ruins the taste of one's favorite sandwich spread, but causes great psychological distress and even physical pain.Here to walk us through one of life's worst feelings is Mark Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, and the editor of Interpersonal Rejection. Today on the show, Mark unpacks the experience of social rejection, including why we're so sensitive to it and the emotions and behaviors it causes, which can be positive and prosocial or maladaptive and even violent. We discuss the role that is played by the sociometer, a concept Mark originated, in monitoring our social acceptance and rejection and what influences its sensitivity to fluctuations in your relational value. And Mark offers advice on how to remove some of the sting of rejection and civilly reject others.Resources Related to the PodcastMark's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #725 — The Curse of the SelfSimpsons' episode where Lisa breaks Ralph's heartAoM Article: Honor in the American SouthConnect With Mark LearyMark's faculty page

Note: This is a rebroadcast.Nietzsche's maxim, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," isn't just a sound philosophical principle. It's also a certifiable physiological phenomenon; toxins and stressors that could be deadly in large doses, actually improve health and resilience in smaller, intermittent ones. The ironic thing, my guest points out, is that it's the fact that we're not getting enough of this sublethal stress these days that's really doing us in.Paul Taylor is a former British Royal Navy Aircrew Officer, an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, and neuroscientist, and the author of Death by Comfort: How Modern Life is Killing Us and What We Can Do About It. Today on the show, Paul discusses the science of hormesis, how small doses of intermittent stress can make us more resistant to chronic stress, and why you need to embrace what Paul calls "discomfort harvesting." We talk about some now-familiar topics like fasting and cold and heat exposure with fresh inspiration as to how important they are to practice and how to do them effectively. We discuss how hot a sauna needs to be to get the benefits of heat exposure, Paul's suggestion for how to make an ice bath on the cheap, what may be the single best type of food to eat to improve your gut's microbiome, a form of fasting that's got anti-cancer benefits but is so accessible it won't even feel like fasting, what supplement to take to mitigate the effects of a bad night's sleep, and much more. We end our conversation with how to use what Paul calls a "ritual board" to stick with your healthy habits and resist the "soft underbelly" of modern life.Resources Related to the PodcastAoMPodcast #708: Overcome the Comfort CrisisAoM article/video on the benefits of cold showersAoM Podcast #801: The Cold Water Swim CureAoM Podcast #603: The Physical Keys to Human ResilienceAoM Article: How Saunas Can Help Save Your Body, Mind, and SpiritAoM Article: How to Sauna — All the FAQsAoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of DepressionAoM Podcast #862: Heal the Body With Extended FastingAoM Podcast #328: The Pros and Cons of Intermittent FastingAoM Podcast #581: The Tiny Habits That Change EverythingAoM Podcast #425: Action Over FeelingsThe NOVA Food Classification SystemStanford study on the effect of fiber and fermented food on the microbiomeResearch on creatine as a neurotransmitter and creatine's effect on brain health (including impact when sleep deprived)Connect With PaulTaylorPaul's websitePaul on IGPaul on LinkedInPaul's podcastPaul's mental fitness course for coaches and health professionals

In creating the Jack Reacher character, Lee Child launched a series of books that now boast 100 million copies in print and have been turned into movies and a popular Amazon streaming series.Today on the show, I talk to Lee about what makes Reacher so compelling and much more. We first discuss how Lee didn't get started with writing until he was almost forty, and what prompted him to change careers. We then unpack the Reacher character, discussing the ancient, archetypal roots of this vigilante, drifter detective, what he has in common with the knight errant, and the enduring appeal of the lone wolf. We also talk about Lee's writing process, why midlife is the best time to write, and why, after writing more than two dozen Reacher novels, he's chosen to hand off the series to his brother and fellow writer, Andrew.Resources Related to the PodcastThe latest Reacher novel: In Too DeepThe Reacher streaming series Jack Reacher website 

Money can't buy happiness. It sounds good as a bumper sticker platitude.But the truth is, money can buy happiness. At least sometimes. In certain circumstances. If we view it and use it in the right ways.Here to unpack the conditions under which money can buy happiness and facilitate our flourishing is Dr. Daniel Crosby, a psychologist and behavioral finance expert and the author of The Soul of Wealth: 50 Reflections on Money and Meaning. Today on the show, Daniel shares the minimum income level at which money buys happiness, at least in the sense of avoiding pain. We talk about how to purchase material things in a way that increases happiness, while avoiding materialism, and the value of using your money to buy health and freedom. And we discuss the importance of finding an overarching why that guides the way you allocate your money and doing a values audit to see if your purpose and spending habits are aligned.Resources Related to the PodcastDaniel's previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #222: The Laws of WealthEpisode #511: Mastering the Psychology of InvestingAoM Podcast #659: Do You Want to Be Rich or Wealthy? (And Why the Difference Matters)AoM Podcast #321: How to Think About Money"Experiences Won't Make You Happier Than Possessions"Die with Zero by Bill PerkinsConnect With Daniel CrosbyDaniel on XDaniel's podcast, Standard DeviationsDaniel on LinkedIn

Are leaders born or made? Judging by the 50 billion dollar leadership development industry, the answer is definitely the latter. From schools to workplaces, everyone is seen as a potential leader and expected to become one by undergoing leadership training.My guest questions the assumptions underlying this phenomenon, which he calls "the leadership industrial complex," and says that the cult of leadership, and its idea that everyone can and should become a leader, can create burnout and unhappiness.Elias Aboujaoude is a Stanford professor of psychiatry and the author of A Leader's Destiny: Why Psychology, Personality, and Character Make All the Difference. Today on the show, Elias describes the state of the leadership industrial complex, the mathematical impossibility it forwards that everyone can be a leader and no one is a follower, and the primary presumption it makes that leadership can be taught. Elias argues that, in fact, a lot of what makes for good leadership is innate and potentially unchangeable. We discuss the implications of this fact, and why it's actually okay not to want to be a leader.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #838: Can Virtue Be Taught?AoM Article: Don't Just Lead Well, Follow WellAoM Article: Are You a Strategist or an Operator? Connect With Elias AboujaoudeElias' websiteElias' Stanford profile page

When people think about living more fully and making better use of their time, they typically think of finding some new organizational system they can structure their lives with.Oliver Burkeman says that what you really need instead are perspective shifts — small, sustainable changes in how you view and approach your day-to-day life. He provides those mindset shifts in his new book, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. And we talk about some of them today on the show, including why you should view life's tasks and problems like a river instead of a bucket, stop feeling guilt over your "productivity debt," make peace with your decisions by embracing an unconventional reading of the poem "The Road Not Taken," aim to do your habits "dailyish," be more welcoming of interruptions, and practice "scruffy hospitality."Resources Related to the PodcastOliver's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #748 — Time Management for MortalsAoM Article: Autofocus — The Productivity System That Treats Your To-Do List Like a RiverAoM Podcast #956: Feeling Depressed and Discombobulated? Social Acceleration May Be to BlameSunday Firesides: To-Dos, the Rent We Pay For LivingAoM Podcast #962: The Case for Minding Your Own BusinessAoM Podcast #821: Routines Are OverratedAoM Article: Routines Not Working For You? Try a Daily ChecklistSunday Firesides: Life Is for LivingResonance: A Sociology of Our Relationship to the World by Hartmut Rosa"The Road Not Taken" by Robert FrostThe Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong by David Orr"The Road Less Traveled" — great, short podcast on the alternate interpretation of Frost's poemConnect With Oliver BurkemanOliver's website

We often think of the difference between a boy and a man as a matter of age. But Brian Tome says that there can be 15-year-old men and 45-year-old boys, and that the real difference maker in being grown up isn't a matter of the number of years you accumulate but the qualities, behaviors, and mindset you possess.Brian is a pastor and the author of The Five Marks of a Man. Today on the show, Brian unpacks what he thinks are the marks of mature manhood. We talk about the need to have a vision and how life-giving hobbies can create that vision. Brian argues that manhood requires staking out a minority position, being part of a pack, and creating more than you consume. And we discuss the ways men can still be protectors in the 21st century.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #78: The Myth of Following Your PassionAoM Article: The Ultimate List of Hobbies for Men — 75+ Ideas For Your Free TimeAoM series on the 3 P's of Manhood: Protect, Procreate, Provide AoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of ManhoodAoM Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a ManAoM Article: Why Are Female Friendships the Ideal? (‘Cause Dude Friendships Also Rock)AoM Article: Modern Maturity — Create More, Consume LessBrian's Man CampConnect With Brian TomeBrian's website

Imagination is the ability to form mental images and concepts that don't exist or haven't happened yet, think outside of current realities, and form connections between existing ideas to create something new and original.If the number of movie sequels and the outsized popularity of music made decades ago is any measure, our current age is suffering from a deficit in imagination. And indeed, tests show that creativity, which takes the possibilities generated in the mind and produces something with them, has been in decline for many years now — a phenomenon that has repercussions for our personal edification, professional advancement, and societal flowering.But if our imagination has indeed atrophied, the good news is that it can be strengthened. So argues my guest, Albert Read, the former managing director of Condé Nast Britain and the author of The Imagination Muscle: Where Good Ideas Come From (And How to Have More of Them). Today on the show, Albert shares his ideas on how our imagination can be built back up. We discuss how to get better at observation and how to use a commonplace book and the way you structure your reading to cross-pollinate your thinking and generate more fruitful ideas. We also discuss how to overcome the unthinking habit, resist stagnation as you age, and embrace imaginative risk.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #432: How to Achieve Creative SuccessAoM Podcast #683: How to Think Like a Renaissance ManAoM Podcast #357: How to Be a Creative Genius Like da VinciAoM Podcast #874: Throw a 2-Hour Cocktail Party That Can Change Your LifeConnect With Albert ReadAlbert's website