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On this episode of Star Trek Universe, Effie and I find ourselves in another earth-history contaminated culture as a matter of course. With Space Nazis, Space Jews and Patterns of Force.We'll get into John Gill and his misguided attempts at introducing Nazism with benign leadership in our review of Star Trek 2x23, "Patterns of Force".
On this episode of Star Trek Universe, Effie and I learn that sometimes it's best to let Sargons be bygones - especially when you meet douche bags with big ball energy who like to call ya “son”! Hide your Muldaurs and hide your Spocks, maman! They're snatchin' everybody out here!As we continue our rewatch/first-watch of The Original Series, we find ourselves face-to-face with LIGHTS IN BALLS... or rather, the now-non-corporeal entities who used to be humans millennia ago, desperate to make it back into human bodies -- but becoming human comes with weaknesses, maman! Sargon, this sounds familiar... We're talking Star Trek 2x22, “Return to Tomorrow”
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 27 Appreciation? In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. Children must face the scrutiny of their parents The Dining Hall was almost a relief. That relief died the moment I saw the banner over the front of the serving area in the Hall. 'Zane Appreciation Day'. Since every word was spelled correctly, it wasn't some stunt of Rio's, but beyond that, the list of suspects was too large to consider. This could be a genuine outpouring of acceptance and sympathy for what I had endured here. If you believe that, I have to ask you: 'Do you want your leprechaun pissing Guinness or Irish Malt?' Most likely, this was going to be some sort of humiliation, and I think I knew the flavor, and I definitely knew how to find out. See, in every seat of the Dining Hall was a big, bowling ball sized white box with a name and secured with a gold and green ribbon, so no cheating; no peeking. That last bit didn't deter me, though. I snuck up on the box marked for Holiday Carpenter. "Zane, does that have your name on it?" Virginia Goodswell asked me, my English teacher and Spiritual Advisor. Hell, if it had been Mrs. Marlowe, I would have opened it anyway, but Virginia was my buddy so her next question didn't mean to stab a stake of regret through my heart. "Where is Vivian?" "I left my room before she was done." I looked to the ground while I kicked some imaginary dust off the slate floor. "Why don't you see if she's been calling you?" she suggested. "She's probably worried." Worried, or homicidal because, ya know, I had sort of run off without my phone, wallet, watch, book bag, or anything else a 21st century student might need. "I ran away like a big, fat chicken," I confessed. "Anything not glued to my body I left behind." "I'll give her a call." She pulled out her phone and hit speed dial #2. I crap since her sick mother is probably #1. I am such a big problem for her, she has my guardian on speed dial! "That is Holiday Carpenter's box, Zane, not yours. Besides, there are strict instructions to not open the boxes until instructed." The panicky response I overheard from Virginia's conversation with Vivian hardly helped my mood. She wanted to know if Virginia knew where I was, she did; that I was okay, I was; and finally, what upset me, because the other girls weren't talking but apparently Mercy had started slapping Barbie Lynn around until Rio and Val pulled her off. Now, that made less than no sense. Wasn't that supposed to work the other way around? Virginia did a double check and sure enough, Mercy had slammed Barbie Lynn into an open wardrobe on my behalf, and Rio and Val had pulled her back. WTF! I am sure that Rio was right beside me on that one. Vivian triple checked that I was physically and mentally okay and she sounded so disappointed, in herself, as she did so. She was bringing my stuff; yes, I am an earthworm. Virginia promised for me that I would remain here until she arrived. Some stupid gesture like a loud public apology, done on bended knee, was blatantly unfair to Vivian, who only meant the best for me. I made a quick apology, not trying to meet her eyes as I said the words and took my stuff. All of 'my' girls seemed equally subdued. A minute after we had garnered our victuals, Vivian put a hand on my elbow. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Zane," Vivian smiled warmly at me. "You take a lot of stress and pressure on yourself. I understand that from time to time you need to take in a tiny bit of private space for yourself. Clearly, you can't schedule any such time because nothing around you stays a secret for very long and no one respects your privacy or even asks what you need." "Vivian," I was puzzled, "you deserve to be righteously pissed with me. You are my Guardian and I promised to stay by you or at least tell you where I was." "Zane, we let you down," Vivian assured me. "It is your dorm room and we are your guests, and we have been rather poor guests at that." "How about we call a truce?" I offer. "I can live with that," Vivian smiled. "Cut the Kumbaya-time, kids," Rio snorted derisively. "Zane, what the fuck happened with Mercy?" Rio playfully punched Mercy's arm to emphasize her uncertainty. "Rio, Bro, drop it," I asked sincerely. "Act like it didn't happen." Rio studied me a second, then got this wickedly evil grin. "What the hell are you talking about, Glenda?" she hefted the box up then shook it. "It seems my damn box is glued shut. Are we celebrating one thousand cunts licked by you, or what?" Because Rio rarely expounded at a level below full volume, next thing we hear is Mrs. Marlow snapping, "Ms. Talon, watch your language; there are good Christian women being forced to sit within the sound of your voice!" "Gotcha, Ms. Mouthful," Rio snapped off with a snap and a finger raised up like a pistol in the air. "What did you say?" Marlowe closed the distance. "She was repeating what I pointed out," I turned and smiled. "I said that you really had it going together this morning; that you were more than a mouthful. That's a hip/trending term to describe someone who is expressing themselves through clothing and make-up." "You are lying, Mr. Braxton," she snarled. "You are probably right, as I do so to you on general principle, but good luck proving it in student court," I grinned right back. We locked wills and she blinked first. "Ms. Phillips," Marlowe turned on Vivian, "what are you going to do about this?" "Zane and Rio, would you please apologize for being rude and insensitive to an educator who only wishes the best for the student body?" Vivian requested. "I so apologize," I bowed my head. "I so apologize as well," Rio tacked on. Only after Marlowe had gone to spread love and sunshine somewhere else did Rio lean across me and whisper to Vivian. "You rock!" Rio giggled gleefully. After all, Rio and I had not apologized to Mrs. Marlowe because neither one of us believed for a minute that she was 'an educator who only wishes the best for the student body'. To that nameless entity, we owed a debt, and to Mrs. Marlow we owed a generous 'fuck you,' and Vivian had made it all possible. "Why, thank you, Rio," Vivian nodded her acceptance of Rio's praise. "Jesus is the Peacemaker and we all should attempt to emulate his teachings." "So, I still don't get to lick you senseless?" Rio snickered. "No, no, you don't," Vivian smiled, even though she didn't look at either of us. Vivian's going to rock as a mom. The next half hour passed quietly. Everyone was curious about the boxes but no one was too worried until a rumor suddenly appeared. When it was suggested that they might have to put on bikinis, the fear set in. I blamed, I don't know but I wish I had thought of it. I was still kicking myself for the missed opportunity when my alien with the right face black and left face white shows up with the right face white and left face black, Mhain and Millicent. "Death Match and you get to referee," Rio teased me. "I'm so jealous; 500 bucks on the one with the soul." Mhain glared hate at us while Millicent looked more than amused. "Zane, come with us," Mhain gloated. I figured that somehow my ordeal was coming to an end so I'd play along. I rose and they steered me to the largest exit, flanking me. Christina and Company grabbed their boxes and jumped up quickly to follow me, though they looked as confused as I was, confirming none of them were the architect of my discomfort. No sooner had we stepped into the cool, sunlit lawn than everyone's phone rang, except mine. I was loving this, right up there with having sandpaper buffing my sunburned abs. "Open the box and follow the instructions," Christina informed me. "Is anyone going to do this?" My phone vibrated once, then my whole body tingled before I could respond to the call. "I am," Mhain gloated. "I was promised something." She knelt and opened her box with enthusiasm; the others did likewise but at a more sedate pace. What came out of each box was almost identical, different only in the anatomical part of the body indicated by the instructions. The objects were all grapefruit-sized fur-balls that made darling little squeaks, squeals and murmurs, amongst other sympathetic noises, all in tiny little voices. They were to be placed on my body, but I didn't know how that would work. "Are we going to do this?" Chastity began to say. "It isn't sticky," Hope was also saying when Mhain's flew out of her hand and hit the side of my left knee. She reached out carefully to retrieve hers while the other girls circled in. The little darlings were proving to be resilient little bastards. Several more leapt at me from the hands of their owners. All this time the furry grapefruit were giving little 'wee!' noises when they shot at me and screeched like demons when they were removed, which was painful when they were on my flesh. I knew who was responsible and she was going to pay, but not right now. I saw my closest allies pulling back. "TLM, Christina," I sighed in resignation. "Let's get this over with." I was being totally self-sacrificial; girls were starting to pile-up on us coming out of the Dining Hall. I didn't want a riot. Mhain had technically tagged me first but not in the designated spot, so I had Christina go first, she put one over my heart, not that I thought Cordelia was stupid, but now she was just piling it on. Mhain went next and she was sizzling and excited, she put it on my lips, shutting me up. At least the girls were polite and organized enough to come at me patiently. A few didn't get the 'memo' and their little rug rats slipped out of their owner's grasp and got to play gleeful kamikaze as they plowed into me. It didn't hurt but I had this secret fear that the tiny terrors would sprout fangs and tear into me. These little guys were murmuring and mumbling and it wasn't until I was truly buried that a horrific realization was made, the more that were on me, the greater their clinging power. In retrospect, this would have been more useful if we hadn't passed the 700 mark. I looked like a puffy, overweight, Sasquatch baby. I could move but sitting down was a dream, as was running or going to the bathroom. The damn things wouldn't shut up either. It fell to Hope and Iona to hurry me (as much as possible) to Assembly; you know that place where I 'sit' in front. At least no one could ask me anything with the expectation of receiving an answer. I no longer wondered how bad it could get; I knew it would get worse, and while I didn't know how, I knew it would be soon. At the start of Assembly my little friends joined in the singing, not using words but in the tinny little noises they made, though admittedly they were enthusiastic and determined. But it gets worse. There was a discussion on stage after that fiasco about removing me. Chancellor Bazz wanted me gone; Vice Chancellor Scarlett was not in attendance but Virginia took up my cause. After all, it wasn't my fault, she claimed. "Well, Black, do something," the first three rows heard Bazz demand of our Head of Security. "I am not an engineer or a chemist," Black replied. "Do you want me to shoot them off him?" Oh, yeah, my girl Bazz wanted that, so bad. Of course, what she really wanted was for Black to miss, but that wasn't going to happen. Finally, the teachers decided to soldier on. When Chancellor Bazz stepped up to begin services, the frightening fur-balls belted out 'Hail to the Chief.' No one said a word, not a murmur. Chancellor Bazz stopped and the munchkin chorus stopped too. Two more starts later and she gave up and grudgingly took the 'praise' from my infestation. They were good throughout the message and sermon but took up 'Hail to the Chief' when she tried to leave the podium. "Do something!" she screamed at Black. This time, Gabrielle sedately headed my way. I didn't want to think of the pain coming my way. My little buddies had my back. When she got within five feet the all screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, in the loudest cacophony most of us present had ever heard. I saw something I thought I would never see; Gabrielle flinched. Not so oddly, I was fine, hearing almost nothing. The little guys on my ears soaked up the sound so I received a very watered-down version of what they were doing. Gabrielle fell back and at the five foot mark, the little guys shut up, mostly. They seemed to be making comforting noises to one another, like one Zane-sized colony of brown mold. "Get away from him; just get away from him," good old Doctor Melrose Bazz pleaded as she moved her hands away from her ears. "Braxton, you stop this right now." I had a wee beastie on my mouth and Bazz was not on the small list of people I would devour this thing for. If she's looking for a conversation today, she's out of luck. She throws her hands up in desperation and starts to storm off. My little cock-sucking furry gonads (yes, I was getting angry) fired up 'Hail to the Chief' yet again, and kept at it until she sat down. Virginia got to thinking it's appropriate to call for the end of this travesty but she's dealing with Cordelia Dresden, Top Gun of the Time Lord Mafia. The weapon of choice; 'She's a Lady' by some guy named Tom Jones, the ladies in my life will inform me about this later. For a half a second she tries to fight her smile but she surrenders, even letting the little guys go through the entire score before talking. The little tinny voices were humming a song I didn't know but damn it, it made me want to take Virginia out to a smoky Jazz club and dance until the sun came up. Virginia actually started tapping her foot to rhythm and I began thinking I might not be able to beat Cordelia. I'm not used to that sensation. "Okay, now, whoever is doing this has put Zane through enough and should remember that we should, as Christians, make students feel safe and not make them subjects of humiliation," Virginia addressed the student body. "I think we can end Assembly fifteen minutes early today for a little bit of Christian charity. We can do it at Zane's first class, 204 Denning Hall." By the way, I apparently have a play list. As Virginia headed back, the fella's changed it up with 'Baby Got Back'. I wanted to die. Virginia Goodswell has a truly fine ass, of this there is no doubt, I often compare it to Barbie Lynn's, but please. Virginia stopped, turned toward me with a dazzling smile and waggled her finger at me, then resumed her way to her seat. How is any of this my fault? I imagine I was lucky it wasn't the Thong Song. I would have died, then come back as the undead to take Cordelia to hell with me. It was with some relief that Vivian and Hope rallied to my side. They had to both keep other students away, the other girls loved poking me in different critters to make them call out in different pitches and tenors, which was pleasant to hear if you liked overdosing on helium. Surprise, surprise; no one came to my succor before English class. I couldn't sit down. Okay, I tried, but any part of my body that bent or that I sat on screamed bloody murder until I got off of it or stopped putting on the press. I've heard about girlfriends like this but I've always assumed I would have the courage to jump out of a 50 story building to escape. What do you do if they come with you when you jump besides basking in the vicarious thrill that comes from crushing half of them beneath you before you go? I managed to do okay standing in the rear of the class, only once giving in to the crushing fatigue of holding my arms somewhat elevated for two hours. The two under my arms were especially cooperative and didn't get too vocal when my arms did slip to my sides. I couldn't do a thing about the occasional girl twisting in her seat but either Raven's glare or Goodswell's cough brought their eyes forward once more. At the end of class, Virginia decided to call Ms. Black and have her take me to the Vice Chancellor's office to end this matter. Vivian and Mercy provided support while Gabrielle kept her distance and cleared a path. Rio helped out by playing my musical miscreants as if they were a drum set while some part of the 700 members of my new posse and I yelled at her to leave us alone. She really is my best friend. My tragically slow pace was not my friend and everyone had to depart for their classes before I finished the arduous travel to the Administration Building. Gabrielle's eyes measuring you for a casket is a remarkable motivator but didn't stop Rio from blowing a kiss to her "Mi Negro Naughtiness". I know, I know; one day, Rio is just going to vanish without a trace. "Ms. Reveal, I need an emergency meeting with the Vice Chancellor," Ms. Black requested of Doctor Scarlett's personal assistant. Ms. Reveal didn't miss Gabrielle keeping her distance from me. She did make the call and I noticed the pictures of Ms. Mittens were still in evidence. "Who are you inside that suit?" Ms. Reveal asked me. I guess she assumed I wasn't a real baby Sasquatch; I was really a baby Sasquatch disguised as a half-baked marshmallow. If three geeks and a man working beneath his means jump out at me with proton-packs, I am running for my life, which is to say 'I'm going to die.' "This is Zane. He is not being rude, he can't speak," Ms. Black was kind enough to cover for me. "Oh, I understand," Ms. Reveal nodded, but in such a way that expressed she didn't understand anything. "You two can go in now," she said several awkward seconds later. "Zane, you move as close to Ms. Reveal's desk as you can while I get the door for you," Gabrielle instructed me. "Come in when I call for you." I'm sure Marisol Reveal was curious as to why Gabrielle was dancing around me, trying to keep her distance. We almost made it; right as she made it to the doorway, Doctor Scarlett opened the door and attempted to see what the delay was. She was actually putting an award on a shelf she had just received, the reason she missed Assembly, if you find that suspicious, and was placing it on a shelf near the door. Gabrielle responded as any slightly unbalanced killer would do; she spun around, pulled out her gun from the unseen Realm of the Gods of War, and pointed it at the stunned Victoria. That took her one half-step too close to me and my little fellas let the world know it. I will give them this much; they were still defending my eardrums. By the way Marisol was holding her ears as her tears flowed down her face it must have been pure agony for her since I was right next to her. Gabrielle scoped up Victoria and sprinted into her office and they obediently shut up. "Za-, Zane, what was that?" Marisol blathered. Since the furry meatball gone bad was still on my lips and I hadn't become that hungry, I kept my silence. "Zane!" Gabrielle called for me. I did my best to shrug but it wasn't like I had a neck anymore so I don't know what she made of my movement. I shuffled to the door and got a few good squeaks as I moved inside. I was more than a little disturbed by the reaction I received from Doctor Scarlett when she saw me from her seat behind her desk. She looked at me and I swear, hand to my heart, she had an orgasm. "You are covered in Tribbles," she gasped. I had no fucking clue what a Tribble is but apparently, I was in the vast minority. I staggered forward and since Gabrielle was on the right side of the room, I angled to the left. I move halfway around Doctor Scarlett's desk so that Gabrielle could go close the door, where she took up post and, from what happened next engaged a Romulan Cloaking Device, whatever the Muggle-tech that is. Victoria was in some sort of dream-like trance. When she started stumbling around the desk toward me, I waited for the musical assault that never came. To my credit, I caught on in a second. If these creatures existed, singing wasn't their normal activity, and Cordelia wanted these little 'Squeaky Meals' to be as real as possible, for Victoria. I was nothing but bait. Victoria reached out to caress the same one Christina had placed over my heart. The little bugger cooed and Victoria clamped her thighs together to contain another orgasm that coursed through her loins. Cool, all I have to do to feel the wonders of Victoria Scarlett is dress myself in furry grapefruit. I'm kicking myself for not seeing this obvious ploy. She touches more and each makes a subtly different purr of pleasure. This goes on and on until she's cuddled up against me, her arms stroking over my back and rubbing her left leg up and down mine. "Vice Chancellor, you do realize Zane Braxton is TRAPPED inside those, contraptions," Gabrielle sounds the slightest bit peeved. The troops all make those little high-pitched notes of longing as Victoria retreats a few steps, bringing Victoria almost to the point where she launches herself back into me to comfort her little friends. I am second fiddle to a discombobulated guinea pig; sometimes a man can feel pretty small. "Okay. How did this happen to you, Zane?" Victoria asked. "He cannot talk; one of those Tribbles is attached to his lips," Black stated, "by an unknown force. Before you ask; I am not an engineer or chemist." Victoria made this adorable little 'o' expression, then reached for an offending Tribble. "It hurts him to remove them," Gabrielle got out just in time. "Does it hurt the Tribble?" Victoria inquired. Gee, thanks, Vic. "Hold your ears," Gabrielle commanded. Well, I couldn't comply, and Victoria had only started to scream 'stop' when Gabrielle materialized a knife and speared 'Diddley-boo' off my shoulder. I heard the little guy's death wail, then his death rattle, as Gabrielle pulled him/her away until she was out of screaming range. Diddley-boo? No, I have no idea what his/her name really was but I'm going to have ICE check his immigration status when all of this is over, wait, I can't do that; Gabrielle wacked the little snot and giving her up to the Feds is a great way to create many widows and orphans. Diddley-boo was still twitching erratically while Victoria was stuck between ecstasy and horror. "You are a Klingon agent!" Victoria gasped as she pointed an accusatory finger at Gabrielle. I am vaguely aware that they are the stock-villains of Star Trek Universe and this odd snapshot of rightly tight, athletic buns in tighter pants, but the reference memory for the scene escapes me. By the facial reaction Gabrielle gives, Victoria just called candy sweet, or jalapenos hot; she appreciates the comparison. All the surviving members of the Tribble tribe wept a cacophony of pain and loss. I would have had more sympathy if their moans had not been vibrating my body like a jello mold. "Romulan," Gabrielle countered; the other stock Trekkie villains, but they have better teeth. First amongst our Honored Dead, DB hardly quivers as Ms. Black dissects it. It bleeds/oozes and appears to be a living organism of some kind, but Gabrielle points to several electronic devices, a CPU, and wires connecting all kinds of things inside the organic body. "It is an organic husk over a sensory/auditory device," Gabrielle tried to explain. "Oh, my God," Victoria's mind worked feverish to defy reality, "they've been turned into Borgs." She tore the one attached to my lips off. I didn't cry like a televangelist publicly begging God for forgiveness for a moment, or 147 moments, of weakness with a rather sad-looking prostitute, but that was coming. You see, Victoria gripped her weeping diminutive fuzzy engine of humiliation tightly when she yanked it off, so she let go of it because the little blighter sounded hurt. It gave off a more muted and mournful 'wee' as it smacked into the corner of my mouth. I was able to dodge a direct hit. "Scarlett," Gabrielle seethed, "if, you, would, listen, for, a, moment; they are painful to be removed from his flesh and they will attempt to reattach themselves to him if they are brought within one foot. I have no idea why." "Zane, are you in much pain?" Doctor Scarlett inquired while scanning my body fungi. "Yes, but I'm sure if you kick me in the nuts, I'll feel better," I mumbled through a joke. "I can't do that," Victoria gasped. "You have Tribbles down there." Yes, I feel special. "That's it," Gabrielle snapped. "I'm going to get help." She spun around and breezed out the door, slamming it in her wake. "Thanks for abandoning me, Gabby," I shouted as loud as I was able. "It's not like Vic's totally lost her mind or anything like that." "I have not lost my mind," Victoria responded with a deceptively calm, soothing tone. She reinforced my calm by locking the door, then locking in the deadbolt, yes, I felt much safer. My merry band of orphan coconuts helped things along the cliffs of sanity by cooing and 'talking' to Victoria as she walked around the office, and she gaily responded to them. "Ms. Reveal, this is going to be a difficult intervention. Inform me when lunch time gets here," Victoria communicated to her assistant, then added, "I need a box of outdoor trash bags; leave them at the door." Having a hot lady like Victoria Scarlett lock the door and asking for almost 3 hours of 'alone' time with me is a mature pipe dream of mine, and that dream really meets a bloody end when she asks for roughly 30 bags with a fifty-gallon capacity each. If she pulls out a hacksaw or a 'cow-stunner,' I'm racing for the window behind the Doc's desk. I'll be gone in 90 seconds, sort of like an inexpensive microwave dinner. Doctor Scarlett returned to her desk, turned her spy-cam around, and started making calls. I honestly maintained a miniscule hope that she might still help me. She was talking curtly to another doctor whose name I didn't recognize. What came out of her mouth next sounded like a combination of eating raw meat all your life and gargling with sand regularly; add to that an inflection of someone wanting to kick elementary kids into the paths of oncoming busses and you had the language she was using. Victoria's stance even changed. She thrust out her chest, put her hands on her hips, and a predatory sneer took up permanent residency on her lips. She even beat on her desk hard during this little exchange before laughing in a way that made kittens piss on themselves before you hung them. "Vice Chancellor, Doctor Victoria Scarlett, umm, what's going on?" I said careful. I'm not so much terrified of Victoria at this point, as I am suspicious of my ability to fight at the moment. "Everything is fine, Zane," Victoria assured me. "In essence, I am bringing in some experts in the field. You can trust me on this; we've been expecting contact like this for years." Huh? "So, ah, that was an Albanian Biologist?" I hoped. "No, that was Vor' Dura, Flight Leader of the Blood Quasar Fleet of the Klingon Empire," Victoria explained sedately, in the same way any SANE individual described a Navy Commander. She turned her computer screen so I could see the person's profile pic. "How does she breathe in that thing?" I wondered. "That's one hell of a corset." "That isn't a corset, Zane, its body armor. My suit was created by the same armorer," she stated. "You have something like that?" I boggled. "Yes, the precise same suit. Vor' Dura is not as blessed by her bloodlines, she's shorter, but otherwise, we are identical; our alliance ended recently and soon she must face me in ritual combat; yield or die." 'Yield or die' isn't what is centermost in my mind. "Don't your boobs ever pop out of that thing?" Because if you have been paying any attention; I am an idiot where sex is even a remote possibility. Victoria can't meet my gaze but turns as red as her namesake. "On a few occasions," she confessed. I'm thinking 'a few'. "Now I have a few more calls to make." Yes, she's lost her ever-loving mind, and I have no reasonable expectation of exit or rescue. I won't be able to get up enough speed to bust out of the window so being on the first floor is meaningless. She has the deadbolt key and when I stack up my Tribbles against her Science Fiction fanaticism, I lose. She turns the monitor around and makes her next call. This one starts with the victory salute, but the one done with two fingers to each side. "Excellent news," Vicky declares. "We have confirmation of the temporal events from Deep Space Nine. I have compelling data that I have encountered genetic derivatives of the dominant herbivorous life forms of Iota Geminorum IV." And everything went to turkey-based insanity after that. Again, they spoke rapidly in a language I knew nothing about. They acted like giddy little schoolgirls, just schoolgirls with their emotions surgically removed. The final call went much same way except that this time, the tone of the language was like the second but with the taint of a sleazy pimp or grifter thinking she was a mob boss. These were the kinds of girls you never let babysit your kids if you ever wanted to see them again. The way Vic looked at me and the fellas made me worry about how long I could last in her brothel and inspired an unexpected sympathy for these pests. "Zane, do you promise to stay here while I, umm, get some, umm outfits?" Victoria requests respectfully. She realizes she's asking me a bizarre favor. Balthazar's Balls, I've been tied to a cross; how much worse can this be? She scoots up to me, kisses me chastely on the lips and waits. "It is a given that my morning class schedule is toast, and I'm no stranger to the entertainment industry so knock yourself out," I allow, but I will have to pee at some time." "Check; I'll stop by the infirmary and get a catheter," she nods, then she kisses me lightly on the lips once more. "Thank you for this, Zane." She's off like a shot but is careful enough to get the deadbolt on the way out. Since I doubt Ms. Reveal can get a fire-axe through the door if the building catches fire, my buddies and I really are going to experience total protonic reversal on a life-ending scale. Only now does it occur to me that these fuzzy navels might have toxic side effects. I'm waiting around for God-knows how long when I hear some muffled noises, more muffled than having a Tribble in my ear. Scratch, scratch, "Girl, you get away from that door," Ms. Reveal shouted (I guess). "Quick, Mercy, hold her back," Rio shouted in response. "This deadbolt is a bitch." A scuffle ensued and I tried to shout loud enough to call Rio off when I heard two rapid-fire thumps. "Thank you, Ms. Black," Marisol Reveal huffed. Mercy had put up quite a fight, I guessed. "I will formally press charges when the Vice Chancellor returns." "You will go and sit your ass behind your desk, you incompetent buffoon," Black snapped. "I will deal with this and if you bother me again today, or mention this incident to Scarlett, I swear you will never see your cat again; and if you don't hop-to in the next six seconds, I'll make an audio recording of me strangling that shit-dumper and play it by your bedroom window every night until you go mad. Do I make myself clear?" "Ugh," is all I make out, but I hear Marisol's chair squeak soon after. The sound of a body, or bodies, being drug off faded away as Black left the office and headed down the hall. Hell, I warned Marisol. I can't do anything for Rio right now and I don't have too long to ruminate. "Marisol, are you okay?" I hear Victoria ask her assistant. It is a testament to their bond that even the hysterical Doctor doesn't miss her friend's distress. "Sorry, Victoria, I'm a bit, umm, heart-sick is all," Marisol murmurs. "Don't you worry about it." "Well, when you want to talk about it, let me know," Victoria stated. Marisol must have nodded because no words were spoken and Victoria came in with two carry-on bags and three dress bags while kicking the trash bag box ahead of her. Happy fun time was about to begin. "Sorry for the wait, Zane," Victoria told me. "Doctor," I made a desperate Hail Mary plea for reason, "you are a highly respected educator. We really need to take a step back and re-examine what's going on here." "Zane, this is my first teaching job ever," she related as she checked on the progress of her 'Trekkie' Posse. "My doctorate is in Philosophy; my Master's Degrees are in Comparative Religions and Women's Studies," she informed me. "All my graduate work was done as a researcher. I've never had a student." I blink dumbly at her; and here I thought my opinion of the Board of Directors couldn't get worse. Victoria goes over the language dance with her friends, switching fluidly from tongue to tongue in a manner that impresses and even fascinates me; and I've been to Bangkok where if you are trying to buy and/or sell anything and don't speak at least ten different languages or dialects, you might as well hand them your wallet or purse and go home. "Who do we need?" Vic said in English (just making sure everyone knows that the Tribbles aren't suddenly translating for me). "Kar'Thon," Vor' Dura states eagerly; "This matter is a racial imperative." "Are you sure the young man is old enough?" The second woman inquired. "Jarrod went all obsessive last time a boy crossed our path. We almost sent the kid to college." "That's what you get for marrying a Ferengi," Dura snidely remarked, and the rest laughed along with it; meanwhile, I'm going 'a what?' Some infighting goes on until Victoria and 'I married a Ferengi' call for peace, then babble a little more. Then the name 'Zane Braxton' comes up and I'm not sure I'm happy or sad that only one of them replies in what was clearly elation and surprise, the sleazy one knows of me. "Zane, I need to surgically remove some of the alien organisms," Victoria tells me. "It is going to sting like hell," I mutter, to which Vor' Dura says something and sleazy girl laughs. I do not like where this is going at all. On the bright side, Victoria doesn't rip one off of me right away; she goes over to one of the dress bags and opens it up. She's pulling out bondage gear, oops, my bad; she's getting ready to put on Klingon body armor. I have lost all preconceptions of what I was dealing with once Scarlett began stripping in front of me. She even gave me an appreciative smile and I was the one who was doing the appreciating! The little fuckers started going off. Remember, they don't like being moved and I was moving some around at the moment. No, my legs and arms were perfectly still but my crotch was striking up a chorus, its Handel's Messiah. There was this 'still' moment where Victoria stopped opening her blouse and the three strangers regarding me through the webcam became mute; then the laughter began. Victoria resumed her stripping but she couldn't stop smiling and snickering slightly. The three, the Klingon uber-cook or whatever she was and her two unknown accomplices, were laughing so hard they could barely communicate. It got better; when I was fully aroused and stopped moving around my pants, they didn't shut up and I was suddenly, desperately searching my mind to know how long that song was. This was because Vic got down to her, Oh, fuck, this white thong, and calling it white is generous as it looks like someone stole an under-achieving spider's web and gently placed it over her crotch, and I know my hard-on was not going anywhere but into something before it went away. Victoria was working her make-up on when two of the voices got themselves together enough to ask something. Vic looked up at the web-cam, over to me, then said a few sentences. "So, which one of you likes your ankles placed behind your ears?" I politely asked in Thai. "What was that, Brax' Zane?" Victoria asked. "I'm curious if I can take your virginity with my tongue?" I continued in Thai. "I cannot understand you," Victoria said again. "What are, ah, " "I think we should engage the Federation citizen in the Galactic Basic," the second voice requested of the room. The third voice, the sleaze, said one more then in her native tongue, then the second voice, and Victoria jumped on her. "I said, 'I think the native is getting restless'," sleazy girl grudgingly repeated. "Now, I think we should see if our plan 1.0 can be implemented." "Before the scourges make themselves hoarse shrilling out the hellish noise or I lose patience, transport over there, and kill them myself," Dura growled playfully. I'm glad someone else was having fun. Victoria walked up and took a deep breath, which caused her well-disciplined, thirty-ish breasts to bounce tantalizingly close. Her look was desperately fearful yet almost childlike too. "Kar'Thon, I desperately require your assistance before these creatures drive me mad," I tried to sound masculine yet pleading. On the computer screen, Dura quickly slammed her right fist to her right shoulder; I was later to learn that was a salute. "This is no way for a Starfleet cadet to die," Victoria beamed at me, "even if I know I must someday slaughter you in battle." Whoa, I've never considered NASA as a career choice. Maybe Klingon bondage gear/standard uniform could change my mind. The first person to tell me university life is boring I will punt to the Moon. "I am T'Luminareth of the Vulcan Science Academy and Reserve member of the Starfleet Exploration Corps here," the second voice spoke up. I caught sight of a picture of her with this, troll? Or maybe a dwarf with the worst case of cauliflower ear ever. "I would like to assure you that every logical effort is being put forth on your behalf." "Is that right, Tight Luminescence? Is it going to kill you to show a fellow sentient an ounce of compassion when you know he is about to suffer a fatal toxic shock from prolonged exposure to these vermin?" the third girl snarkily interjected into the conversation. "I'm Hical Cretak, Romulan freebooter and purveyor of ancient, exotic, and misunderstood goods." "You are a thief, and since you aren't in some asteroid prison, you must be an above average one," I said to the Romulan. "I confess that I am a bit happier to see a member of the Vulcan Science Academy since, well, I'm suffering a splintered memory. Some things make perfect sense but large details are simply missing." I figured I could provide Victoria some good game. She began rubbing my crotch and there was an effect alright, two in fact. The simple and expectant one was my trouser titan trying to unchain itself so it could get revenge on all of Victoria's orifices for taunting him so. My torturous tiny titmice began belting 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye. I think as an infant, I had a mobile playing this song in my crib. I started to really admire T'Luminareth's acting ability because she alone kept it together. Victoria made larger and larger circles over my crotch up to my beltline while Dura and Hical lost it hysterically. "Pssst," I murmured to Victoria. She looked at me and I darted my eyes toward her makeup kit and clothes. I am getting more clothes on her, why? Besides, I'd gotten a better look at her suit and it didn't have a butt-zipper that said 'Come Get Some,' but those pants rolled down like a candy wrapper and that 'body armor' has a back flap. I'd have to get Rio a set and I doubted Victoria would deny me her armorer's number. I was definitely looking into getting Mercy a matching Orion Slave Girl outfit, and here people don't think I make constructive use of my time. I was sure Victoria/Kar'Thon was breaking speed records to get herself ready while the other ladies began talking to me about a whole universe that was brand new to me. Getting three different and very conflicting versions of the rise of the Human-dominated Federation of Planets was amusing. Out of the blue, T'Luminareth decided she was going to create a team to rapidly move to my planet and take me back for further study. Vor' Dora countered that and Hical gleefully sought out salvage rights for the wreckage of the two expeditions. "That might not be possible," I intervened. "Some of what you've told me has fused some memories together." They all fell silent. "At Starfleet Academy, an Engineering Team and a select group of cadets," I continued to fantasize, "were directed to work on a, phased ionic drive." Ion drive was 'old' tech, or so Hical had let slip. "The drive failed catastrophically and we couldn't save the impulse drive, power was failing, we couldn't transport. The phased ionic drive detonated in the planet's atmosphere, creating a trans-harmonic disruption. I don't know if there were other survivors of our vessel. I saw another vessel either investigating our explosion or attempting a rescue but they burned up on their approach," I looked pained. "I don't think I could communicate with them and the only survivor I could locate was Kar'Thon." "Only a combination of our two vessels' technology has been able to punch a hole through the disruption and I'm not sure how long this effect will last." I now sounded grim but determined. "We probably need three things: We need to know if there were any special modifications to the Klingon Scout vessel because I don't think it was a standard model to get so close to an experimental Federation vessel." "Secondly, someone needs to pry out of Starfleet the precise specifications of that vessel, and that's definitely not me," I confessed. "Finally, we need to find a way to fuse those two designs together because if Tribbles are already being affected by an increased magnetic field, how much longer do we have before even the planet's magnetic field collapses totally and we fry (a SciFi movie plot, thank you)." Once more, there was silence and I was afraid I'd stepped way beyond my bounds. Only when I took in the masked facial expressions of Kar'Thon did I realize I'd done well. I was hit with the realization I was a word and a whisper away from having sex with her, she was so pleased with me. "I have friends at Starfleet Academy and they might be able to shed a light on what their cadets were up to," T'Luminareth stated serenely, but I could see a fire in her eyes. "I will research into every work published on Phased Ionic Drives, and we may be forced to work on a theory of what went wrong in case Starfleet is not forthcoming." "Not that I admit that the Klingon Empire ever had any such vessel operating in the area, Vor' Dura got out before Hical Cretak interrupted. "You have an officer on the damn planet, you cowardly idiot," mocked Hical. "I am a deserter," Kar'Thon declared. "I would say I was a 'scum of the Orion Colonies' but I found that you already claimed that title," she aimed at Hical. "You must die, you traitorous dog," Dura jumped on the offered plum. Thon/Victoria wasn't a deserter but she was ready to take one for the team, so to speak. "The Klingon Empire cannot allow your stain on our honor to exist. Now that we finally have you pinned down, we are coming to end you once and for all, and if the Federation insists on harboring a traitor (we were theoretically in Federation space) then, "I owe you a death, Vor' Dura," Thon seethed; "your death." "You may not enter Federation space," T'Luminareth insisted. "Before you two go to war, again, why don't you let me go in," Hical mediated. "I'm a free trader and have been to both Federation and Klingon planets." "You are a spy," Vor' Dura growled. "Being a successful agent doesn't make you any less of spy for your Romulan Senate," T'Luminareth seemed almost furious. "Unfounded rumors started by my, Hical almost finished before the Tribbles screamed. Not as loud as they had for Ms. Black, but they now didn't like Thon around either, now that Victoria was a Klingon. Cordelia scares me; this time Hical had the little 'hiccup'. "This is going to be fun," she chuckled, barely above a whisper. "I will get these vermin no matter how much they hurt the frail human," Kar'Thon snarled, but Victoria's eyes blazed with fanatic amusement. I was mildly curious if she could even respond to her true name but decided not to test that. She pulled out a rather wicked looking knife that I had to double-take to make sure it was plastic. The conversation went on around us as fictitious bits of data collided with innuendo, falsehoods, threats, and lies. This was roleplaying by some actors who took it as
On this episode of Star Trek Universe, Effie and Dave learn what a sensual thing an apology can be – and that if you drink too much ya might turn green, maman! Or your drink might, anyway. As we continue our rewatch/first-watch of The Original Series, we find ourselves face-to-face with the Kelvans, desperate to make it back home to their Andromeda galaxy -- but becoming human comes with weaknesses, maman! We're talking Star Trek 2x21, “By Any Other Name.”
On this episode of Star Trek Universe, Effie and Dave beam down to Sigma Iotia II — the planet that found a book about Chicago mobsters and decided to run with it! From fedoras to tommy guns, the Iotians built an entire society modeled after 1920s gangland culture, maman. Now the warring “bosses” want the Federation to supply them with heaters for their escalating turf war. It's one of the funniest and most iconic episodes of The Original Series, blending sci-fi satire with pulpy gangster style. Dave likes to think of it as “A Private Little Cosplay” — but you'll know it better as Star Trek 2x20, “A Piece of the Action.”
We're talking Starfleet Academy casting (Tilly's back, sorta) and premiere news, Strange New Worlds season 4's “go for broke” energy, and the Star Trek: United series that might still be. Interesting news bits abound in the world of Trek, maman!Starfleet AcademyTilly is Reportedly Only in One Episode!Details on Caleb Mir and S.A.M.How They Changed the S.A.M. Character for Kerrice BrooksAlex Kurtzman Praises CastNew Trailer for Star Trek: Starfleet AcademyStephen Colbert to Play Digital Dean of StudentsOfficial SynopsisStarfleet Academy Release Date Details (January 15)Strange New WorldsFirst Look Clip of Season 4No Release Announced, only "Coming Soon""Going for broke" in Season 4Star Trek: UnitedSeries Would Be Set on Babel, Not EarthWould Further Explore the Romulan War and AftermathEnterprise Cast Members Would Possibly Make ReturnThough Technoically Not in Production, Andrew Probert is Working on DesignsHosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
On this episode of Star Trek Universe, Effie and I find ourselves dark place drained of energy, maman – I'm not talking about seasonal depression – We're spending some time inside of a giant amoeba as we review Star Trek 2x19, "The Immunity Syndrome"!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x19 - "The Immunity Syndrome"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
It takes a bloodthirsty captain to kill a bloodthirsty cloud, maman! We're talking all about Jim Kirk's obsession with a vampire cloud creature who killed half his crew 11 years ago! More Moby Dick, maman! Another cloud creature! Another vampire, too. This one is a triple-threat retread, maman!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x18 - "Obsession"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
Effie and Dave fight to be vended as thralls while wearing tin foil bikinis and getting eye-effed by Galt! Lord have mercy upon us, maman! It'll be no time before we're served the old Jim Kirk peck-n-punch! Or worse, his cock-n-sock!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x17 - "The Gamesters of Triskelion"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
Kirk brings the crew to a spot he visited before, but he expected paradise -- not a private little war! This is an uneven-but-fun episode to talk about, maman! We got G̶u̶m̶a̶t̶o̶, er, Mugato bites, a witch with a small, deadly box, wigs, Lisa Frank stickers on foreheads and a Vietnam redux, maman! It's a wild one!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x15 - "A Private Little War"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
It's our 300th episode, maman! We're getting into all sorts of news!Strange New WorldsGoldsman and Myers' Thoughts on Rewriting History in "Terrarium"Taking From "The Inner Light" for the finale was IntentionalBatel's Loss Will Impact Pike ForeverPike Can't Escape His FateBatel's Eyes Were Not a Reference to Gary MitchellThey are Done with the Gorn and the VezdaThey Thought "New Life and New Civilizations" Might Be the Series FinalePelia Does Know the Doctor from Doctor WhoWhy Season 4 Will Be Better than Season 3We May See Sulu and/or McCoy, but not ChekovIs Sybok Returning?Season 5 is ShootingYear OneThey Haven't Pitched Year One to the New Bosses YetScoutsThe Trailer for Star Trek: Scouts is onlineThe First Three Episodes of Star Trek: Scouts Are Also OnlineTNG/LegacyChances Of Another The Next Generation Reunion Are “Zero To None,” Says Marina SirtisMarina Willing to Play Troi AgainRumors Insist Terry Matalas May Get Overall Deal with MarvelCancelled Noah Hawley FilmWho Was Planned to Be In It?It Was Connected to Data and the AndroidsIt Was an Adventure with Creative Problem-SolvingIt Was Going to be a Series of FilmsParamount Head Going After Warner Bros Discovery and TikTokFeedbackAndre' Sparks Reviews "New Life and New Civilizations"Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
They finally told an original story, maman -- or they started to before they were "inspired" by an episode of The Next Generation and did that instead. Alright, fine. It was the only part that actually worked.Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x10 - "New Life and New Civilizations" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
Divert power to cliché, snarky one-liners, maman! Even in the face of death, and with no one listening, it's time to get in an old yuk-yuk! But ain't nobody laughing at the end, maman. It goes from tragic story to a tragic couple of missteps in franchise continuity! What are they doing, maman? Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x09 - "Terrarium" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
Yes, we watched it, maman. We saw "Four-and-a-Half Vulcans." Our tears are bitter, maman. Our souls are thin as to be wisped away by a wayward zephyr. We weep for our bodies are malnourished; our spirits are distressed. It is a dark age, maman. We require a bonfire of the inanities.Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x08 - "Four-and-a-Half Vulcans" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreakerDavid C. Roberson's Newsletter: https://davidcroberson.substack.com/
In the conclusion of our annual coverage of geekdom's biggest gathering, guests Kurt Ho and Eric V. continue to interview the Ricks about their experience at Comic-Con International 2025. Think: panels, purchases, parties—and at least some weirdness (looking at you, Megan 2.0). IN THIS EPISODE
Beto's been filming on the Enterprise for weeks, maman - and the fruit of his labor is “What is Starfleet?” There were other things to talk about, maman. Starfleet probably didn't declassify that ish, maman. We're talking about Strange New Worlds 3x07 - “What is Starfleet?” as well as a little bit of news about who Paramount has put in charge of programming at Paramount +!Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x07 - "What is Starfleet?" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
[Strange New Worlds review starts at 26:25] Anthony and Laurie star the podcast by looking to the future, covering Paramount (now a Skydance company)'s interest in making Star Trek movies and the creative people looking to make new pitches for Trek shows and movies. They discuss Simon Pegg's thwarted plans for a Beyond spin-off, plans for the Star Trek Universe panel at New York Comic Con, Lower Decks‘ wins at the Hugos, and some new Trek games coming our way. They also talk about Jonathan Frakes' surprise that his SNW holodeck episode has mixed reviews and the strong numbers for the show's new season, then dig in to their review of this week's episode, “What is Starfleet?” and then play Laurie's interview with Mynor Luken (Beto Ortegas).
[Strange New Worlds review starts at 26:25] Anthony and Laurie star the podcast by looking to the future, covering Paramount (now a Skydance company)'s interest in making Star Trek movies and the creative people looking to make new pitches for Trek shows and movies. They discuss Simon Pegg's thwarted plans for a Beyond spin-off, plans for the Star Trek Universe panel at New York Comic Con, Lower Decks‘ wins at the Hugos, and some new Trek games coming our way. They also talk about Jonathan Frakes' surprise that his SNW holodeck episode has mixed reviews and the strong numbers for the show's new season, then dig in to their review of this week's episode, “What is Starfleet?” and then play Laurie's interview with Mynor Luken (Beto Ortegas).
Pelia talking about her age is getting stale while Kirk becomes the Sehlat who ate its tail. Gather your telephones, maman! It's time for a chat!Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x06 - "The Sehlat Who Ate Its Tail" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late 1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
There's a murderer on board, So Spock might pull the chord! You'll hear Sarek say “My Wife! Attend!” while a Tellarite meets his end! A killer runs amok while Spock's parents finger fuuh, oh -- uh, how about... D.C. Fontana brings more world-building to this intergalactic fable as we're settling in for a Journey to Babel! It got dicey there for a minute, maman!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x14 - "Journey to Babel"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Mike Sussman and Bakula have a pitch for a President Archer series! Simon Pegg says the new head of Paramount is a huge Star Trek fan! Plus we review Strange New Worlds 3x05, "Through the Lens of Time" and love it! So many fan theories this episode, maman! It's jam-packed!Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x05 - "Through the Lens of Time" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Things are bleak, maman. The snake has eaten it's tail so hard it's currently licking it's chin. They have ten episodes, and they've now used one to denigrate The Original Series and re-use every tired holodeck story from the 90s series all in one. We were not amused, maman. But Paul killed it with his duel performance. Hats off on that one, maman.Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x04 - "A Space Adventure Hour" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
To get Captain Batel out of her bed, Pike and M'Benga must fight the undead! It's a rough time for the crew! Zombies, revenge plots, Erica gets in trouble with Number One who has a number two on her head, mind melds or somethin... it's wild, maman.Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x03 - "Shuttle to Kenfori" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Comic-Con 2025 brought the future of Star Trek right to Hall H, and now it's time to break it all down! Join Julian and Girafe for our full Star Trek Universe wrap-up show, packed with everything we saw, heard, and felt across an unforgettable weekend in San Diego.
SDCC 2025 has hit, and it has brough some trailers and teasers, maman! We got thoughts! Here's what we're talking about:Khan‘Star Trek: Khan' Audio Series To Feature George Takei As Sulu And Tim Russ As TuvokKhan Trailer: https://youtu.be/D71evfU4E1MStrange New WorldsShowrunners Have A Name For Follow-Up Star Trek Series Set On Kirk's EnterpriseShowrunners Begging Fans to Write in to Paramount to Make Star Trek: Year One'Star Trek: Strange New Worlds' Season 4 Teaser (Stupid Puppets) https://youtu.be/Az-cm8gmKSMStarfleet AcademyFirst Trailer: https://youtu.be/VkBU8lvXm7MHosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
As we bypass strange new worlds for familiar old ground, the Star Trek universe continues to get smaller, maman. What used to feel like endless possibility now feels like a ho-hum countdown to the next bit of heavy-handed fan service. But whatever, maman. It wasn't as bad as Section 31. Not by a stretch.Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x02 - "Wedding Bell Blues" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Star Trek: Age of Discovery is a fan podcast for the Star Trek Universe, including Classic Trek and the Paramount + shows STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS, STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS, STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, STAR TREK: PICARD, STAR TREK: SHORT TREKS, and Netflix's STAR TREK: PRODIGY.Subscribe to Star Trek: Age of Discovery on Apple Podcast by CLICKING HERE. The show is also available on Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, and iHeartRADIO.Email the show at startrekaod@gmail.com. Follow us on X/Twitter, Threads, and Instagram @StarTrekAoD and Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/StarTrekAoD/. Visit our website at http://startrekaod.net, where we offer additional articles on Star Trek canon, interesting sidebar issues, and aspects of the show.www.facebook.com/StarTrekAoD/. Visit our website at http://startrekaod.net, where you can find further articles on Star Trek canon, interesting sidebar issues, and show elements.2025 © Star Trek: Age of Discovery EPISODE CREDITS:Produced and edited by Gary Anderson LINKSWebsite: startrekaod.netBe sure to follow and tag Star Trek: Age of Discovery on Facebook (https://twitter.com/StarTrekAoD) and Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/startrekaod)!
Strange New Worlds is back, and so are we – discussing part two of Hegemony! Let's see how the crew of the Enterprise gets out of this crazy mess, maman! I believe in them! Lord knows, maman -- they can get out of any jam with their super-fast solution abilities!Episode Reviewed: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 3x01 - "Hegemony, Part II" Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
In an unsurprising move, Paramount Plus has decided to end Star Trek: Strange New Worlds with a six-episode fifth season! We talk about our feelings regarding this announcement and speculate on how the impending Paramount merger and their new CEO will effect the state of Star Trek. Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
On this episode of Star Trek Universe, we're discussing that Strange New Worlds season 3 trailer, maman... plus talking about the posters they've recently released, season 3 episode titles, a Starfleet Academy update and some very interesting statements from Tawny Newsome about her (hopefully) upcoming Trek series!Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Get ready for gladiators and glad penis, maman! As McCoy and Spock fight for their lives in an arena, Kirk claps cheeks and pleases his weenah!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x12 - "I, Mudd"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Milk and Emma swing back to add Xaan and Wizard to the Tier List before reviewing the list and making a few final changes. Join our community on Discord! https://discord.gg/grimscenarios Check out the Grim Scenarios Twitch Channel! https://twitch.tv/grimscenarios Check out our socials by clicking below! https://linktr.ee/grimscenarios The Grim Scenarios podcast officially acknowledges that Captain Benjamin Sisko is the best captain in the Star Trek Universe.
Milk and Emma are have reached the end of their Townsfolk Tier List and tackle the last of the experimentals. Join our community on Discord! https://discord.gg/grimscenarios Check out the Grim Scenarios Twitch Channel! https://twitch.tv/grimscenarios Check out our socials by clicking below! https://linktr.ee/grimscenarios The Grim Scenarios podcast officially acknowledges that Captain Benjamin Sisko is the best captain in the Star Trek Universe.
With the Base 3 completed, Milk and Emma are digging into the first half of the Experimental Townsfolk. Join our community on Discord! https://discord.gg/grimscenarios Check out the Grim Scenarios Twitch Channel! https://twitch.tv/grimscenarios Check out our socials by clicking below! https://linktr.ee/grimscenarios The Grim Scenarios podcast officially acknowledges that Captain Benjamin Sisko is the best captain in the Star Trek Universe.
two shows in one today with the interview of Astrophysicist Dr. Erin MacDonald, who advises the Star Trek Universe on how science is integrated into the shows! THEN DJz and Bubba battle it out when we talk about the Section 31 movie and what went right ,and what went wrong.
We have Federation officials and klingons who like to quibble, but they ain't no trouble like the trouble with tribbles, maman! We're heading to Deep Space Station K7 to have a drink with Cyrano Jones and review the hallowed, well-loved classic, Star Trek 2x13, “The Trouble With Tribbles”! They're born pregnant, maman!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x12 - "I, Mudd"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Union Federation EP.208: Star Trek: Section 31 - Spoiler Review & Discussion Fandom Podcast Network YouTube Channel Link: https://www.youtube.com/@FandomPodcastNetwork Fandom Podcast Network Audio Podcast Link: https://fpnet.podbean.com/category/union-federation Welcome to the Union Federation Podcast on the Fandom Podcast Network & BQN Network, where we discuss both Star Trek and The Orville. Your Union Federation crew discuss the new Paramount Plus exclusive special movie event, Star Trek: Section 31. Its stars Oscar winner Michelle Yeoh as Philippa Georgiou. Star Trek: Section 31 is an American science fiction television film directed by Olatunde Osunsanmi and written by Craig Sweeny for the streaming service Paramount+. It is intended to be the first television film, and the fourteenth film overall, in the Star Trek franchise and part of executive producer Alex Kurtzman's expanded Star Trek Universe. A spin-off from the series Star Trek: Discovery, the film is set in the franchise's "lost era" between the Star Trek: The Original Series films and the series Star Trek: The Next Generation. It follows Philippa Georgiou as she works with Section 31, a secret division of Starfleet tasked with protecting the United Federation of Planets, and must face the sins of her past. Until next time on the Union Federation Podcast, "Live Long & Prosper" & "We Are, Without A Doubt, The Weirdest Ship In The Fleet!" Union Federation Podcast Contact Info. Hailing frequencies are now open........ Fandom Podcast Network YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FandomPodcastNetwork Union Federation: A Star Trek and The Orville Podcast Feed: Link: https://fpnet.podbean.com/category/union-federation Facebook: The Union Federation: A Star Trek and Orville Podcast Group. Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/323504344789120 - Fandom Podcast Network Master Audio Feed: https://fpnet.podbean.com/ - Fandom Podcast Network is on ALL major podcasts platforms. - Email: theunionfederation@gmail.com - Instagram: @UnionFederationPodcast / https://www.instagram.com/unionfederationpodcast/ - X (Twitter) : @unionfedpodcast / https://x.com/UnionFedPodcast - Bluesky: @fanpodnetwork / https://bsky.app/profile/fanpodnetwork.bsky.social Host & Guest Contact Info: - Kyle Wagner on X: @AKyleW / Instagram & Threads: @Akylefandom / @akyleW on Discord / @Ksport16: Letterboxd / Blue Sky: @akylew - Amy Nelson on X: @MissAmyNelson / Instagram: @amynelson522 / Bluesky: @bqnpodcasts & @CounselorAmy - Hayley Stoddart on Instagram & Bluesky: @trekkie01D - Kevin Reitzel on X / Instagram / Threads / Discord & Letterboxd: @spartan_phoenix / Bluesky: @spartanphoenix Where to Find BQN: Instagram: @BQNpodcasts Bluesky: @bqnpodcasts Facebook: The BQN Collective (listener's group) Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/bqnpodcast #FandomPodcastNetwork #FPNet #FPN #UnionFederation #UnionFederationPodcast #BQN #StarTrek #TheOrville #Section31 #StarTrekSection31 #MichelleYeoh #PhilippaGeorgiou #OlatundeOsunsanmi #CraigSweeny #AlexKurtzman #ParamountPlus #StarTrekDiscovery #AmyNelson #HayleyStoddart #KyleWagner #KevinReitzel
Commander Malave joins the crew of the USS Roosevelt on a routine investigation into a subspace anomaly that quickly turns dangerous. It's our first session of actual play of Star Trek Adventures, the tabletop roleplaying game set in the Star Trek Universe!
Georgiou is back, but the film's getting flack! Is it as bad as you've heard, or is the hate undeserved? We'll be bringing you our spoiler-free thoughts, followed by our spoiler-filled thoughts on "Star Trek: Section 31"!Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Dayton Ward is a New York Times bestselling author or co-author of more than forty novels and novellas. His most recent Star Trek novel is Pliable Truths. Ward's essays and other writing have been featured at Tor.com, StarTrek.com, and Syfy.com Dayton Ward reflects on his decades-long love of Star Trek, what it means to be creative for a living and his decision to “take the leap” later in life to become a full-time professional writer, how Star Trek fandom has changed over the decades, and what his wishes are for Star Trek to become in the future. Chauncey DeVega journeys home for the New Year and Christmas holidays and has more adventures and challenges as the working-class child of an aging parent. Chauncey also reminds us that these are the good days before the imminent return of Donald Trump to the White House and how we must keep our hearts open to the amazing examples of humanity and inspiration in our neighborhoods and day-to-day lives. Those experiences are fuel for the hope tank that Americans of conscience and honor will need to survive, resist, and eventually overcome the horribleness of the next four years and beyond. WHERE CAN YOU FIND ME? On Twitter: https://twitter.com/chaunceydevega On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chauncey.devega My email: chaunceydevega@gmail.com HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT THE CHAUNCEY DEVEGA SHOW? Via PayPal at ChaunceyDeVega.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thechaunceydevegashow
Gather, ye subjects and pledge purpose to his royal Mudd the first! The non-human Norman done hijacked the Enterprise, maman! He took us to a world of safety, technology beyond imagination and of course endless unaging android ass! Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad, and this episode of Star Trek Universe is a review of Star Trek 2x12, “I, Mudd”, maman!Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x12 - "I, Mudd"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Saying goodbye to Lower Decks sucks, maman. Hopefully we'll get more from these characters somewhere in the future. Time for our final review of Lower Decks, maman. They set so much up...Episodes Reviewed:Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x09 - "Fissure Quest"Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x10 - "The New Next Generation" (Series Finale)Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Catching up on two more episode of Lower Decks, maman. We got a purple Data head and tales of the upper decks, maman. Lurks and clicking jerks. Something's happening, maman.Episodes Reviewed:Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x07 - "Fully Dilated"Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x08- "Upper Decks"Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
It's a double review this round, maman! We're catching up on the final season of Star Trek: Lower Decks! We're taking a trip to Starbase 80 and retreading over some already-too-well-tread ground involving feuding peoples and young lovers. It's a real mixed bag, maman!Episodes Reviewed:Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x05 - "Starbase 80?!"Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x06 - "Of Gods and Angles"Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
"765874 - Unification" isn't just the return of William Shatner as James Kirk, it's also the return of Robin Curtis as Saavik and Gary Lockwood as Gary Mitchell. But what does it all mean, maman?We're talking about all of the OTOY/Roddenberry Archive shorts up to the latest, Unification, as well as the extended media that inspired the content from the shorts such as William Shatner's "Return" novels, the Marvel Star Trek: Early Voyages story that introduced the Well of Tomorrows and gave us Yeoman Colt's serial number (765874), Star Trek #400, and the novel "Vulcan Heart" as well as give our thoughts about this short and what it might mean.765874 https://youtu.be/Ng8qTIythnA765874 - Memory Wall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzeznWVQu5o765874 - Regeneration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KXU2Ob8gYY765874 - Unification https://youtu.be/mgOZFny7F50Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Break out the Bengay, slip on your nicest track suit, and ready your angry ageism e-mails for next week's feedback, maman! The nights are warm and the days are young, but the same can't be said for the brave crew of the Enterprise who are about to stop going boldly and start going oldly! Them worry lines, maman...Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x11 - "The Deadly Years"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
We're talking Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x04 - "A Farewell to Farms", maman! Time for some Ma'ah and Migleemom maman! Klingons and Klowahkans!AND MORE. SPACIAL. RIFTS.Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
Show off those guns, bare that midriff and break out your most hipsterish beard wax to give that goatee the shine it deserves, maman. We're taking a look at the iconic, oft-imitated, perpetually satired but universally beloved parallel universe paragon, “Mirror, Mirror”! It's a wild ride on the agonizer, maman! Episode Reviewed:Star Trek 2x10 - "Mirror, Mirror"Hosts:David C. RobersonEffie OpheldersNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues young Effie's first watch of Star Trek in production order. Guiding her on this journey: Dave, a stalwart fan of almost four decades who rewatches along with her, provides trivia, insights and the occasional excitement-stoking minor spoiler. Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker
We're talking Star Trek: Lower Decks 5x03 - "The Best Exotic Nanite Hotel", maman! Mariner and Jennifer finally get closure! Boimler is thrown into danger for being wiry! Tendi is excited to be back to scanning! Apocalypse later (because the future)! It's honestly not a ton to talk about, maman, but there are more space fissures!Hosts:David C. RobersonMatthew CarrollNote: This episode of Star Trek Universe continues Dave and Matt's ongoing journey discussing Star Trek as they have since the late1980s.Join Us:Site: http://startrekucast.comApple: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpotify: http://bit.ly/StarTrekUCastSpreaker: http://bit.ly/StuCastSpreaker