Help Wanted

After 2 1/2 years, Help Wanted calls it quits. Valerie and Reggie share their favorite moments, why it's okay to end something even when nothing sucks, and what they've learned from the podcast. They leave the door open to possibly doing future episodes if there's a reason and schedules allow. In the mean time, it was a blast. Thanks for listening, vageenas!

Wyatt Tall joins Help Wanted again! This time to talk about professional cuddling and touch starvation, which is an actual, real-life problem. There's a whole industry of professional cuddlers who some enlist to eliminate their skin hunger. Skin hunger is also a real life thing that sounds awful. We talk about how these ideas relate to loneliness, how we feel about cuddling, and Reggie coins the term "emotional jazz hands," which is fun. Plus Wyatt isn't really a fire extinguisher kinda guy, and Valerie and Reggie are binge eating pretzel bread and cookie butter. This episode is sponsored by Hunter boots and high school Rodan + Fields salespeople. 

Ryan Gamble joins Help Wanted once again, this time to chat about meditation in the Buddhist-style. We all know meditation is good for you, and Ryan let's us know the benefits she's noticed in her own life. Her gray matter is off the hook. Valerie pipes in a bunch to remind people that anything can be meditation: washing dishes, watching makeup tutorials, et al. Both Reggie and Valerie could for some tiny, little riblets. SPOILER: Applebee's no longer sells them and that's why millennials are pissed. Sponsored by Chipotle and the People Who Lick Their Fingers When Trying to Separate Sheets of Paper. 

Jo Maraschino, aka Reggie's freighbor (friend + neighbor) joins us to talk about opinions. Everyone's got 'em and with social media, we're constantly bombarded with them. Hot takes galore. Reggie loves a beef rib, even if they're expensive and Valerie's missing some tator tots. This episode sponsored by Libritto, for when you're in a sexual drought and also feel like eating a snack, now at Taco Bell. 

How can we be more balanced? Why do we suck at work life balance? Americans are terrible at it. Valerie goes through most countries on the planet and gives Reggie numbers on who's the most balanced. It's the numbers episode! Regina loves small things and has tips for being your best balanced self. Plus Oscar flicks and HR people are the worst. Sponsored by Ammon, a guy you went out with years ago and still follow on Spotify, and Jamba Juice, for when you like the idea of a smoothie but prefer the taste of Yellow No. 5. 

Rob Chenoweth joins us to talk about his experiences with a matchmaking service in Austin. Baby Chicago West and Minuka honey is also featured prominently as does a trip to dying relic: Office Depot/Biz Box. Sponsored by satchels, super cool handbags!

This week on Help Wanted we talk about potentially the scariest thing ever: taking care of aging parents, specifically: how to do it from afar, and how to do it with siblings or by yourself. This episode is sponsored by Pop Bra, the first and only ladies undergarment that supports your breasts while simultaneously holding 2 cups of popcorn.  

It's been a few weeks since resolution fireworks, which means many of us are self-flagellating because of the promises we broke to ourselves. We talk about perfectionism, how it relates to body image, and how it correlates with suicide. While we think of perfectionism as this annoying trait, it can also be dangerous. We have tips to be more gentle. Plus the impossible pronunciation of the name Nevaeh and jail cakes. This episode sponsored by moms who warn us about romaine lettuce. 

Breaking up with a pal can feel the same as breaking up with a significant other, but sometimes it's inevitable. Time, distance, changes in outlooks, or betrayals are just a few reasons to say sayonara to your bestie. Valerie and Reggie talk about the unpleasantness of ending friendships, how to know if you're in a toxic friendship, and how to accept a breakup, guilt-free. Sponsored by Third Parties.

Valerie basically hops off a plane and immediately chats with Reggie about her trip. We chat about planning, mindful travel, ice cream, accents, and about how fear lives best in your head. Regina shall forever be known as Regina Gelati. This episode brought to you by jet lag. And also oversized Toblerones. 

It seems weird that this the first time we're talking about gratitude on Help Wanted, when Oprah talks about it all the time. We discuss finding gratitude even in difficult times and share some tips with how you can cultivate a gratitude practice in daily life, besides just writing 3 or 5 things down in a journal. This episode is sponsored by Matcha Tea, I mean Mate Tea,  I mean Matcha...? What's the difference between these teas?

Emotional labor is the avocado toast of women's topics these days. Valerie and Regina discuss the recent viral Harper's Bazaar piece written by Gemma Hartley and other articles on this topic and try to figure out what emotional labor actually and how it shows up in our relationships and workplaces. Is everything that you have a feeling around emotional labor? Or is it emotional labor the the work that work that comes with making decisions that keep our jobs and households moving, work that goes unspoken and that society takes for granted simply because women are usually the ones doing it? We get real in-depth. We also chat about harassment and assault and the groundswell of women and the media openly talking about it. This shit isn't going away. Help Wanted is sponsored the women who have to deal with their own harassment and assault experiences, while comforting their male friends who feel pretty bad up on learning their hero got naked in front of women and masturbated in front of them. 

Rob Chenoweth joins us to talk about the book Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Lead by Tosha Silver. Reggie and Rob discuss how the principles of this book—surrendering the things that are out of our control—have helped them. Plus Valerie's been crying a lot and eating cornichons, Regina has a struggle with overnight oats. This episode sponsored by Real Lingo. 

Are you flaky? Have you been flaked on? What about eczema? We have advice to avoid flaking (stop overcommitting!), explain why people do it, and some excuses for you if you're flaker who's never gonna change. Reggie thought the song was "Man On the Run" this whole time, and Valerie bought some expensive wheat germ oil. Plus Reggie's all about a whipped cream daiquiri, and Valerie broker her nose and stole some snacks from MedSpring urgent care. Sponsored by Thoughts and Prayers. 

Tim Brewer joins us for a thoughtful conversation on atheism. Tim was raised by missionary parents in an Assemblies of God church. He talks about his experiences, how he eventually made the move to atheism, and his perceptions on how religion negatively influences society. Tim schools us on the Bible facts (he knows a lot!), and we also talk about those speaking in tongues and faith healing—the manic pixie dream girl activities of Christianity. 

Comedian, writer, and folk musician Matt Flynn joins Help Wanted to talk about going out and about living life and doing activities solo versus with a pal/partner. Plus Valerie has a lot of junk mail and Reggie's a fan of Discount Tire. We also talk about singleness versus relationshipness. Sponsored by Boo Cards, business cards that arrive so quickly, it's scary!

Valerie and Reggie talk about dental bling. Lauren Cohen from Hope and Humor Therapy joins us to discuss emotionally engaged dating. She talks about the "cool chick" phenomena and gives us permission to be fully communicate our wants and needs in dating scenarios. Apparently if we don't communicate and respect our needs, they come out anyway in weird ways (for instance we may spend $300 on lipsticks that are all the same shade of red or eat a box of blueberry cake donuts, just as examples, we've never actually done those things. We swear!).This episode is sponsored by Walgreen's, the Randall's of drug stores. Walgreen's for when you need Loreal Voluminous Mascara and everywhere else is closed. 

There are a bazillion different kinds of boundaries (physical, emotional, spiritual) and Help Wanted explores how defining each can improve our relationships with others. Also, cheese and crackers by themselves are drab dorm food, but add grapes and all the sudden you're fancy on a romantic picnic. Reggie thinks the highest compliments are when a gay guy tells you're beautiful and a child says you're funny. Plus Reggie's going to Vegas and Valerie visited a dirt church in New Mexico. This episode is sponsored by Ecru Emu Eggs. Tired of eating plain ol white chicken eggs like a basic Becky? Try an ecru emu egg! It’s light beige, so it’s more exotic!

Should you pursue a job you love? Or one where you make money? Ben "nice handwriting" Howell talks about the things he's passionate about, including his job, and how he makes decisions. The episode was recorded before Anthony Scaramucci got canned, so we pronounce his name in all the fun ways. Plus Valerie can't get enough of hand-pulled noodles and Reggie tries to make ramen fancy. Sponsored by Guys Who Watch You Parallel Park. 

We chat with Angie Yaeyama about the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine. Angie shares how reading it helped her recognize her attachment style (three to choose from: anxious, avoidant, and secure), and how that can change depending on what attachment style the person she's in a relationship exhibits. Plus Valerie's unsure if she should go on a third date and Reggie hung out with her nephew's nephew.Angie runs a book club in Austin for female-identifying folks called Empathy for the Win - bookclub. Interested people can join on Facebook. Sponsored by that Cute Chick Who's Banging Your Ex and Posting Photos of their Smug Happy Ass Faces on Facebook.   

The hilarious Rebecca Westerkom joins Valerie and Reggie to talk about ridiculous and not-so-ridiculous things we fear: flyovers, fires, firefighters, zip lines, chips and queso, and leaving your children parentless because you both flew on a plane that ended up crashing, among other things. Plus Reggie's annoyed when her treadmill territory is threatened and Valerie has a spiritual experience at Trader Joe's and then tells everyone about it. Sponsored by Facebook's photos of you from 5 years ago (when you peaked!). 

Help Wanted talks with renaissance woman and experienced volunteer about her different volunteering experiences, picking organizations and activities that fit, questions to ask yourself before you start volunteering, avoiding compassion fatigue, and meeting men in the produce section of the grocery store. Ryan has been involved with the community for years: teaching English as a second language, building houses with Habitat for Humanity, handing out mail at a homeless shelter, reading for the blind, and more. Regina celebrates her home-a-versary, Valerie tells an incredibly long story about stealing a chair from a volunteer. Plus, a dissection of the Blue Man Group, Pepto Bismal fandom, and being done with America. This episode is sponsored by Getting Dragged Away (a not uncommon thing that happens if you live in the USA). 

Aaron Salinas joins Help Wanted to talk about complicated family dynamics, how he found out his father is gay, and how he has found acceptance around his dad's homosexuality, even while his dad hasn't yet come out to him. Plus The Cracker Barrel and Reggie and Valerie are both exhausted from binge watching Orange is the New Black. This episode is sponsored by the British pronunciation of the word "schedule." 

Tom Booker once did a commercial with Melania Trump. He knows bad times. Yet in spite of that, he's a pretty positive person. He joins Help wanted to talk about staying positive even when things suck. The comedian, theater owner, name dropper, and president of Austin also discloses his morning meditation routine, the motives behind his positive social media posts, a story of being invited to perform in a pornographic movie, and his collection of parked domains. Valerie booked a trip to Copenhagen, and Regina's going to Vegas. Sponsored by avocado tattoos. 

Bubbalicious bubble gum doesn't exist anymore and white chocolate candy is taking over the world, and Valerie blames Trump. Regina is discombobulated, down and out, but couch and 5king it. When Valerie and Regina were 16, they were sneaking out past curfew (shhhhh, don't tell their parents) but these days teenagers are saving the world. At least that's what Maddy and Eleanor, two ambitious high school students are doing. They and their friends helped Texas Senator draft legislation to make it requirement that Texas students learn about human trafficking. Human trafficking is a big problem; 313,000 people in Texas are trafficked each year, and 79,000 of them are young people every year. It's a topic that isn't talked about much in the media and Maddy and Eleanor are working to bring this topic to light. We also find out how these two young women feel about feminism. This episode is sponsored by: capers, the salty snack that's perfect to eat when you're on an actual caper. 

Help Wanted will see you next week with an episode on human trafficking. 

Help Wanted talks about toxic patterns in mother daughter relationships, famous tv moms, and giving moms a break. Plus, Valerie's pro Greg Kinnear, and Reggie doesn't know what to think of him. Reggie thinks matchy matchy Sears family photos are definitely a white person thing, and Valerie is still carrying around Tiny Pies weight and wants an emcee gig at the Buda Weiner Dog races. This episode sponsored by Clark's Middle Management Shoes.   

Comedian Jennifer Dorsey joins Help Wanted to talk about all the stupid things women apologize for and why it's so hard to apologize when you're actually wrong. Jennifer is also filled with fun facts about the Irish famine, Little Women, and the origin of margarine (rate your favorite: Parkay? Country Crock? Fleishman's?). This episode is sponsored by Twix Fix: one Twix won't solve everything but two Twix can fix anything!

Actor and comedian Brittany Flurry (The Naked Feminist, Team Teamwork Productions) talks with Help Wanted about oversharing, and how we might be prone to doing it because we're more and more disconnected as a society. What's authentic and what's A LOT? Does it matter if the thing shared is sad and gloomy or entertaining? How do we discern what's enough and what's too much? Reading the room and asking yourself "is this helpful?" are a couple of ways to think about what we're sharing and when. How do we respond on social media when someone's breaking down or TMIing every post. Ultimately sharing might be caring.Plus how to buy a car and why is everyone we went to high school with selling Rodan + Fields mascara? Sponsored by Accidental Run in w/Your Ex!

Do you have a problem with gossip? It might not even be a problem. Because we like finding loopholes for trash talking, Help Wanted found research to support that gossip can be healthy for forming social bonds. Some folks even believe that Neanderthals gossiped and that fire, grooming, and hunting and gathering all provided venues for the chatty cave people of yore to comment on Becki's messy hair and Dylan's bitchy attitude. We also contemplate differences between caramel, butterscotch, and toffee. Reggie is not a fan of Paula Abdul, but loves a PayDay and a hollow chocolate Santa Claus, while Valerie's fave candy is a PB Reese's egg. This episode sponsored by Magic 8 Balls, when coin flipping isn't an option because of your poor hand-eye coordination and when eeney miney mo won't work because of its racial slurs, try the Magic 8 Ball!. 

"Wanna Netflix and ill?" is Regina's new motto. She's been feverish and remains fearful about having sepsis. Valerie had a rage attack at the Fiat dealership and later on drove 5 miles with her handbrake on because she's car illiterate. Karen Blaney joins us to talk about sustainability and the environment. We talk about unnecessary plastic wrappers and things you can do to lower your carbon footprint that you might not be thinking about. Want the skinny on composting? Karen's got it. Did you know there's a Union of Concerned Scientists? They're an earnest group with a list of 10 Personal Solutions to Global Warming. Sponsored by Room Service Sized Condiments. 

Help Wanted debuts their first live episode. Reggie and Valerie seek advice from some of Austin's funniest comics and hear their sets as well. Elizabeth Spears has opinions on Funyuns, and we learn about her roommate's dog, and Regina's favorite gas station treat: Munchos. Ali Thompson talks about dick pics and quality t-shirts. Robert Segovia is an expert on Chicago food and office etiquette and Vanessa Gonzalez shares birth control chicken nugget conspiracy theories and tells us why she's obsessed with sax solos. This episode is sponsored by DIY IUDs, Standup Comic Standup Desks, and Box Box. 

Rage attacks are on the rise, post-election. Did you know that in the 2 hours following a fit of rage, you're more likely to have a heart attack. We talk about how breathing exercises, meditation, and being around others can help us tame our inner rage and learn that the cause for being prone to rage is sometimes due to brain injuries. Reggie might have a leg infection and Valerie feels like she can't breathe, either from Austin's vile allergies or from walking pneumonia. Valerie doesn't feel malaise or laissez-faire or nicoise. Plus gorilla families, grocery budgets, cast iron skillets, ear bumps, and brussels sprouts. WARNING: This episode features a lotta gross body talk for some reason. This episode sponsored by Episodes of Nova You DVR But Never Watch, because in this political climate watching PBS documentaries on climate change is just TOO much. Resources 5 Science-Based Ways to Break the Cycle of Rage Attacks When Rage Explodes, Brain Damage May Be the Cause

Regina on a hunt for a free cupcake and shares an icky saga of her sweet doggie Annie (a small-mouthed stoic animal) being attacked by a neighborhood dog who got into Reggie's yard via a fence hole. We do a deep dive into the circumstances and a sort of People's Court ruling on who needs to pay for what. We also have tips for what you can do if your dog is attacked by another. We also have tips for what you should do if you find yourself in such an unfortunate situation as a dog attack. Valerie talks kitten socialization, almost naming her cat Joe Biden, IUDs and breastfeeding. Brussel sprouts are a delicious and trendy veggie! This episode sponsored by Bath WMDs, the bath product sold everywhere the UN won't look. 

Valerie and Reggie got the "male's perspective on dating" at a cougar-y workshop facilitated by a Suze Orman-esque Rock Rose ex-therapist, current charlatan. It made Regina discouraged and Valerie temporarily into Bumble. Former public access star and all-around delight Arcie Cola joins Help Wanted to tell us what tarot is and what it isn't. Arcie is a self-taught tarot card reader who first learned while hosting a live, call-in show. Today she does readings for Austin.com. We talk DIY tarot cards and she gives Reggie and Valerie readings. Arcie also dabbles in conspiracy theories, and helps us figure out what happened to that Malaysian plane. The episode sponsored by Anxies, a new line of leggings to wear when you're feeling anxious. 

Reggie's leg is healing nicely since her fall into a hole. Valerie is taking a memoir writing class and everyone needs a new tub. We talk with Susan Schorn, a Karate double black belt, writer (Smile at Strangers), and self-defense instructor, about activism, communicating with assertion, nonviolent protest, and how she uses the martial arts to channel anger. Plus tips for dealing with street harassment and effective resistance. This episode sponsored by Breakroom Food, for when you'd rather eat a chocolate Santa wrapped in foil than question your life's choices, and from City of Exhausting t-shirts, tees with love hate relationship with the city of Austin. 

Help Wanted talks with comedic performer and all-around fun person Amanda Smith about the law of attraction and Abraham Hicks, aka, Esther Hicks, a guru type who taps into source energy that we can all also tap into if we want to manifest our dreams. Amanda shares a story about going to a hippie retreat in California introduced her to positive thinking, which ultimately ledd her to make a move to Austin, and an eerie thing that happened after her move. Plus oh my! Reggie fell into a hole, (kind of, just her leg), saw bone, and had to celebrate President's Day in the ER, instead of buying a mattress. Valerie can't count in Spanish past 12, or actually 11 if she's being truthful. This episode sponsored by DIY IUDs; you can make an IUD out of plenty of household items: old receipts, a chopstick from Panda Express, or a wad of old twist ties from that drawer in your kitchen with the batteries and melted gum. 

Turns out Valerie's hubcap bandit from last week wasn't actually a thing. Reggie can't figure out her world since rearranging her bedroom and she may or may not have had an attempted break-in. We turn to bad habits often to help us deal with stress. Overeating, overcouching, overworking, over everything. BBQ potato chops and tears are Regina's way of coping. But we can have more fulfilling lives if we build good habits and change the bad ones. We have tips for how to make good habits stick (don't focus on changing everything in one fell swoop you'll fail). Plus, many interruptions from Valerie's new kitten who has many names and you can still buy Tang. Who knew? Sponsored by Lash Catastrophe, the lash lengthening serum sold on Facebook by women you went to high school with.

Valerie and Reggie talk with licensed therapist, Elizabeth Dossman LPC-S, about shopping for a therapist. We discuss questions to ask the therapists you're looking at working with, awkward first sessions, different types of practitioners, what therapists are really writing in their notes, how to "break up" with a therapist, how can get services even if you don't have money, equine and art therapy, and much more. You can find out more about Elizabeth Dossman and her approach at www.elizabethdossman.com. Plus Regina shares her weird apartment therapist story, and Valerie reveals she has a hubcap bandit. This episode sponsored by Flatbreads, a tasteless menu item for when you want to make pizza great again, but it actually already is.

Writer and funeral director Sarah Wambold makes her second visit to Help Wanted to discuss political activism. Sarah shares her experiences getting involved as a college student with marijuana legalization and how post-election her activist tendencies have increased times a million. She gives insight on protests, social media, canvassing and phone calls. Plus some tips on how to be an activist if you're an introvert or don't have a lot of energy.  Reggie and Valerie both want someone to teach them how to shoot weapons to prepare for the impending apocalypse. Sarah advises going out without your phone. And also, Valerie went to LA for ice cream, amazing pancakes, beaches and to witness a homeless guy humping the sidewalk. Plus AirBnB hidden cameras and Costco broccoli soup. This episode sponsored by Sharpies, the number one writing utensil for the resistance. 

Reggie's relaxing these days contemplating men's messy sheets and painting perfect fingernails. Valerie adopted a kitten that might be named Vincent and received a shoulder tap from a stranger on the street who wanted to inform her about her height. Shame is a normal, but icky feeling. Regina has tips for getting over shame. One way to get rid of it is to talk that shit out. Share your feelings. Give it attention. Tell someone you trust. More than likely that person has experienced that same feeling and it will disappear. Brene Brown says that secrecy, silence, and judgement are what shame needs to exist. Valerie talks about EMDR therapy as a technique to get to the root of our shame and change negative beliefs locked in our nervous systems. Plus Wheatsville Co-op is our safe place during the Trump administration. This is Us is apparently a good show. This episode sponsored by Skype Cave, the best way for baby boomers to Facetime their loved ones. With Skype Cave parents can finally stop searching for darkened walk-in closets to make calls to their millennial, gen X, or gen Y kids from while still achieving the look that they’re being held hostage in an underground bunker. Skype Cave also offers views such as right nostril and popcorn-textured ceiling. Skype Cave!

Reggie and Valerie deconstruct the the doomy, gray, rainy, and white inauguration. And the jazzy, colorful, and diverse women's marches in Austin and around the world! Valerie marched beside a sweet 76 year old woman named Val who offered her Skittles and Werther's. Because that's what women do in the Trump Era. Regina doesn't believe in phone cases. Who has 4 thumbs and overthinks? Both of your Help Wanted hosts! We talk about the reasons we overthink: we've been conditioned to, we're fearful of being "wrong," and we often have too many choices. Regina talks about not worrying about "wrong" decisions but trusting that we have the ability to maneuver and course correct. Plus the story of St. Thekla, who ditched her fiance to take a vow a chastity, a pretty feminist thing to do way back when, wherever saints lived. This episode sponsored by Kittens! Grab a pussy while you try to protect your own. 

Valerie's new thing is Korean sheet masks. Reggie's starting off 2017 with a freer schedule and training sessions. We discuss the mysteries of the calendar and why we all have other people's events on it. Comedian and performer Tim Brewer talks with us about relationships and how and when to define them, dropping the L-bomb, break ups, and the secrets women may reveal in the way they kiss. He shares the story of how he got together with his wife—a story with twists, turns, a renunciation of faith, some bands Valerie's never heard of, and a raccoon-infested Wes Anderson-type house. Plus a trip down memory lane to a simpler time, called the early 2000s, on a show called Sex and The City, when Carrie Bradshaw wore Aidan's whitey tighties. This episode is sponsored by Desk Sandwich, a snack that seems not that great anywhere else, is actually not that bad while scrolling through your Facebook feed, reading depressing stories on Politico during your lunch break. 

Feminist filmmaker Juani Begood joins Help Wanted to chat about rape culture. What is it and how pervasive is it? We chat about how women minimize their own rape experiences, how partners can be supportive, and why talking about sexual assault is so important. This is perhaps the most overshare-y episode of Help Wanted to date. Lots of talk of unwanted jacking off and compulsive VHS masturbators. The world is divided into 2 kinds of people: those who have tonsils and those who don't. Plus Valerie is sad post-surgery, keeps visiting an orange tabby kitten at the shelter but can't commit to adoption, and would get her bathroom remodeled if she had one million cajillion dollars. Reggie's jotting down her gratitude and wants to have neighborhood cul de sac parties. View Juani Begood's work at juanibegood.com.

Valerie and Reggie talk NYE, surgery, and share clips from some of their favorite episodes of 2016: bathroom etiquette, imposter syndrome, settling (with guest Wyatt Tall), comparison, and vulnerability (with guest Lauren Cohen of Hope and Humor Therapy) and polyamory (with guest Jessica Taylor). Plus buttery nipples and dirty hospital floors. 

Performer and comedy writer Joseph Tran joins Help Wanted to tell us how best to engage in controversy over social media and how to shut down a fight. We chat about fake news, why people are so much more apt to get a tiff over Facebook, and Kanye West (note this episode was recorded before he met w/Trump). This episode sponsored by Forever Young Face Cream, specially formulated with the semen of John Stamos. 

We chat with Ali Thompson, a comedian who's used to pushing the envelope, about people pleasing in Part Two of our "How Not to be a Jerkface During the Holidays" series. How much do we do out of obligation and because we want people to like us (even if we don't really like them). Ali shares with us helpful tips and dick moves. We open the episode in a fit of laughter over The Romantic Adventures of Le Petite Goblin, an animated feature voiced by Regina Soto in the titular role of "Little Goblin." This episode is sponsored by Leftover Halloween Candy: it's not old, it's nostalgic of a time when the world still held hope.

The holidays post-election are a good time to practice empathy. Valerie shares tips for practicing and exhibiting empathy (when we're on the phone with customer service people, when people have different viewpoints and you don't want to be an explosive tornado in your personal life!). Reggie, on the other hand, thinks too much empathy can be bad. Also describing yourself as an empath sounds so silly. Like an old married couple, Valerie and Regina missed their one year anniversary last week. Plus former president Bill Quentin, penicillin allergies, shrimp are sneaky tricksters who want to kill us, The Secret, running in the rain, hidden Twitter, and should you go out with a person with a weird last name who's too tall and who said something stupid 4 years ago if they ask you out via Facebook? It's just coffee. Sponsored by plaid shirts, the number one shirt for men of any age. Shirts have been around since the dawn of torsos and plaid has been around since shortly after solid colors. This holiday season get the men in your life the thing they've always wanted and already have: plaid shirts.

Valerie is riled up about Texas' latest abomination against women: the fetal tissue burial law. Regina's going to PF Chang's. Amy Winters, a Krav Maga instructor and the host of the podcast First-Person Fighter, joins us and shares how learning the Israeli self defense boosted her confidence, improved her relationships, and changed her life. She shares her journey from taking a class on a whim to now teaching combatives and self defenses to newbies. Find out how men and women approach classes differently, whether or not mace is helpful, and if steaks actually help swelling. Sponsored by Celebrity White Supremacist, tune in each week to see which celebrity pulls off a white cloak better: Tila Tequila or Stephen Baldwin. 

Valerie and Reggie disclose their Thanksgiving family dramas. Are mashed potatoes and canned cranberries worth the blathering messy fights? Apparently. Regina used the expensive tools she's garnered through therapy to express her feelings maturely to her mother. Meanwhile Valerie forgot altogether that she's ever tried to be an evolved human being. Valerie watched a Lifetime-eaque Christmas-y movie called Angel Sings where Connie Britton is cast in the most awful, non-complex role, but Willie Nelson and bunch of other Austin musicians perform, which was alright. We're joined by Help Wanted pal and comedian Wyatt Tall who talks with us about Lori Gottlieb's controversially titled book "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," and all the things we wish we'd known when we were younger about dating. Or not. We talk about deal breakers; Gottlieb advises narrowing it down to 3. Tough stuff. This is our milestone 52nd episode! Thanks for listening vageenas! This episode sponsored by: These Undies, random underwear left on the bedroom floor.

Is happiness overrated? We spend a lot of money and time working toward being happy. But all this happiness seeking doesn't actually mean we will be. Instead of trying to live a happy life, some say we should try to build meaningful lives. This is much more attainable. Also, just because you're happy doesn't mean you'll live and longer and super duper happy people are kind of a drag. Are you unhappy? Reggie has a list of traits that characterize chronically unhappy people. Plus, Diane Von Furstenberg, laughter yoga, Victor Frankel, Carnation instant milk and raw eggs, Noxema, and Thanksgiving relative angst. Sponsored by Fuck It I'm Changing Plans and Boycotting Thanksgiving Travel Insurance, the insurance that recognizes holiday travel is contingent only if you're candidate, the right candidate, the candidate who doesn't advocate white supremacy wins.