Phil and Lisa Ruin the Movies

Phil and Lisa dive into the oeuvre of Ben Stiller and can’t sanction his buffoonery. Plus, gangster movies! Comic book movies! Evan Hansen! And an extended visit from Harvey Keitel and his… um…. accoutrement. Movies ruined: Lansky, Dear Evan Hansen, The Eternals, Zoolander, Ran. Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Unplug your brain and enjoy the lava-stained madness of Skyfire, a big-budget Chinese action picture that throws some work Jason Isaacs’ way. Also, we look at two trailers featuring far less enjoyable mayhem and absolutely no Lucius Malfoy. Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Randy Newman may love L.A., but he doesn’t love it as much as Phil and Lisa love movies about L.A. Best of all, there is no actual Randy Newman in this podcast. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

With no trailers to watch, Phil and Lisa turn their attention to Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings, proving there’s no joyous occasion they can’t ruin. Movies Ruined: Jurassic Park, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Singin’ in the Rain, The Thomas Crown Affair (1968). Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Lisa confuses her world wars, Phil strips people of their Oscar nominations and William Shatner stops by to share his favorite 19th century works of literature. Plus, we battle pandemics with a song in our heart and fluffy musicals on our TV. Movies Ruined: “The King’s Man”; “1917”; “Little Women” (2019); “Footlight Parade”; “Finian’s Rainbow”. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Phil and Lisa cope with the hysterical blindness triggered by “Cats.” But fortunately, there are many new trailers to ruin, including several from the thick-knuckled lummoxes at DC Comics. Movies Ruined: “Cats”, “Dolittle”, “Birds of Prey”, “Wonder Woman 84”, “Layer Cake”, “Dolemite Is My Name”. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

In this spoiler-filled episode, we give The Rise of Skywalker a thorough going-over. Plus, we discover a not-as-terrible-as-you-might-think addition to our carousel of bad holiday made-for-TV movies. And Phil has a nasty break-up with Jennifer Lawrence. Movies Ruined: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Avengers: Endgame, The Irishman, Black Widow, Turkey Drop. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

In this crossover with episode 480 of The Incomparable, Phil and Lisa break down the draft choices made in the X-Men draft. It not you, it Gambit. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Send in the clowns. Those murderous clowns. Let’s put them in movies and shows. Those thrice-damned clowns. Movies Ruined: It, Chapter 2; The Joker; Little Women; Becket; Angry Birds 2; Kung Fu Hustle; Ip Man Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

This episode is better than Cats. You will listen to it again and again. Movies Ruined: Cats, Baby Driver, Inglorious Basterds, Hateful Eight, Mask of Dimitrios, Scott Pilgrim, first Monday in May, Wendy Whelan: Restless Creature. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Lisa prepares a video essay on what’s wrong with the Marvel franchise while Phil sees children’s movie after children’s movie. Also, let’s get woke, in-flight movie-style! Movies Ruined: Ralph Breaks the Internet, Dumbo (2019), Hotel Transylvania 3, Avengers: Infinity War, Avengers: Endgame, Captain Marvel, Battle of the Sexes, Ocean’s Eight. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Phil and Lisa are back to discuss a trailer of a movie they haven’t seen — tough luck, Mary Poppins — and several movies they have. And Phil feuds with beloved Twitter philosopher Lin-Manuel Miranda. Movies Ruined: Mary Poppins Returns, Blade Runner 2049, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri, Edge of Seventeen, The Gringo, Yellowstone. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Phil and Lisa return, with a journey into the horrors of independent cinema, a brief rundown of movies you can watch on planes and the actors Phil can’t bear to watch (an abbreviated list). Movies Ruined: Death of Stalin, Flower, Unsane, Ghost Stories, Rampage, Wind River, Darkest Hour, Battle of the Sexes, Tomb Raider, Ramenheads, Itzhak. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Oscar-nominated '80s songs - In a shocking departure from their brand, Phil and Lisa stop talking about movie trailers to get real about Oscar-nominated songs from the 1980s. Is there singing in this episode? Not if you’re one of those busybodies from ASCAP, there’s not. Movies Ruined: “Mom and Dad”, “Against All Odds”, “Fame”, “Dirty Dancing”, “Top Gun”, “Working Girl”, “Rocky III”, “Princess Bride”, “Arthur”, “Tootsie”, “Do the Right Thing”, “Aladdin” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

"The Last Jedi" - Phil and Lisa take on “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” in a spoilerific episode filled with your daily recommended allowance of Porgs. They also discuss popular blockbusters “Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool” and “Death of Stalin”, while shining some light on obscure cult favorites “Ready Player One” and “Avengers: Infinity War.” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

A Wrinkle In Time, Coco, and many more - Phil and Lisa return to mull over the Wrinkle In Time trailer, talk about movies they saw on airplanes and figure out who this generation’s Peter O’Toole is. Also, can you name Pittsburgh’s three rivers, because we sure have trouble. And Mickey Mouse returns for his cut. Movies Ruined: Wrinkle in Time, The Post, Red Sparrow, Coco, Hell or High Water, Fences, La La Land, Dancer Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

"Blade Runner 2049" - In this episode we take on “Blade Runner 2049”, shake our heads at “Marvel’s Inhumans”, and sing a song of “Top Cat”. Plus, everyone’s favorite X-Man drops by for a visit. Movies Ruined: “Blade Runner 2049”, “Marvel’s Inhumans”, “Jumanji”, “The Greatest Showman”, “Top Cat Begins”, “The Friends of Eddie Coyle”, “Crimson Tide”. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

"Black Panther", "Flatliners", "Only Living Boy in New York" - We should be talking about trailers for “Black Panther”, “Flatliners” and “Only Living Boy in New York”, but Phil and Lisa have a bone to pick with Tom Cruise and “Valkyrie” first. Also: Songs we loved ruined by movies! And late 80s/early 90s pictures we hope Hollywood reboots next. Movies Ruined: Black Panther, Flatliners, Only Living Boy in New York, Valkyrie, Diggstown, The Verdict (1946), Silence of the Lambs, Sleepless in Seattle. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Wonder Woman and more summer movies - Wonder Woman proved that someone can make a good DC movie. Justice League looks like someone doesn’t want to make a habit of that. But what other delights await you at the cineplex this summer? Movies Ruined: Wonder Woman, Justice League, Spiderman: Homecoming, Atomic Blonde, Rough Night, Murder on the Orient Express, The Mummy. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

King Arthur, Lost City of Z - It’s a very Charlie Hunnam episode as we look at the “King Arthur” and “Lost City of Z(ed)” trailers, followed up by “Boss Baby” and “Alien: Covenant.” One of those is about a parasitic lifeform who terrorizes a crew of humans; the other is about space explorers. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Super Bowl movie trailers - While the rest of you were watching sportsball this weekend, Phil and Lisa paid extra-close attention to the many movie trailers that debuted during the big game. Their verdict? Stick to sports. Movies Ruined: The Road to Wellness, The Fate of the Furious, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Life, Ghost in the Shell, Transformers: The Last Knight, Baywatch. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Dunkirk, Trainspotting 2, Logan - Instead of just complaining about trailers for movies they’ll never see, Phil and Lisa go next level to complain about award nominations for films they’ve not watched. Also, a haunting rendition of college fight songs. Movies Ruined: Dunkirk, Trainspotting 2, Logan Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Moana, Cars 3, Beauty and the Beast, and more. - Phil and Lisa share their thoughts on the latest Disney animated movie, skewer two upcoming releases from Pixar and Disney and tempt violent retribution from fans of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Mandy Patinkin. Movies Mentioned: Moana, Cars 3, Beauty & The Beast (2017), The Journey, The Outlaw, True Grit (1969), Red River, Lego Batman. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Comic book movies - Excited about all the movies based on funny books that had people talking at Comic-Con this past weekend? Well, let Phil and Lisa sneer at your joy. But at least there’s a tender rendition of “It’s Raining Men” to put a song in your heart. Movies ruined: Justice League, Wonder Woman, Dr. Strange, Kong: Skull Island, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Snowden. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

The Shallows, and more - Blake Lively battles a shark, and who wins? You do, America. Also, we return to some animated children’s movies and talk Pixar sequels, before Mickey Mouse stops by to wet his beak a little bit. And finally: Musicals! Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Pete's Dragon! - The upcoming “Pete’s Dragon” remake sends Phil and Lisa on a trip down memory lane about the terrible Disney live-action pictures of their youth. Also, Lisa freaks out Phil about “The Rescuers,” and we assess the career of cinematic giant Tom Cruise. Movies Ruined: “Pete’s Dragon” (both of them), “Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Pledge break time! - Lisa talks up the terrible trailers she saw before watching Popstar, while Phil wonders why so many movies about sports icons are so very terrible. Also, Miles Teller gets renamed Ol’ Slappy. Plus, a pledge break! Movies Ruined: Magnificent Seven (2016), Pele: Birth of a Legend, Race, Purge: Election Year, War Dogs, Sausage Party, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Bad Moms, Ben-Hur, Now You See Me 2, Money Monster - Bad Moms? More like Sad Moms once Lisa Schmeiser gets through ripping it. Also, Phil reminisces about fits of pique by Charlton Heston and Dennis Boutsikaris. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Burnt, Angry Birds, Keanu, Civil War - Thanks to the generosity of a listener, Phil and Lisa watch “Burnt” and then resolve never to ask anything of listeners again. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Ghostbusters, The Boss, The Nice Guys, Spotlight and Burnt - Maybe Melissa McCarthy should just skip this episode. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

The Jungle Book, Gods of Egypt - Phil and Lisa ruin The Jungle Book and Gods of Egypt and hope against hope that Zoolander 2 and Hail Caesar will warm their curdled hearts. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Superhero movies - Ruining “X-Men: Apocalypse”, “Suicide Squad”, and “Captain America: Civil War.” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

"The Martian" and more - Phil and Lisa ruin “The Martian”, “Spectre”, “Jobs”, and “In the Heart of the Sea”. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

The Finest Hours, Everest, The Martian, Kevin Costner's career - Phil and Lisa ruin “The Finest Hours,” “Everest,” “The Martian,” and Kevin Costner’s career—or wait, maybe Kevin Costner did that last one himself. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Jem, Ant-Man, and the Holograms - Phil and Lisa ruin “Jem and the Holograms” and “Ant-Man.” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Fireworks! - Paul Rudd goes method and builds an ant farm. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Magic Mike XXL - Phil and Lisa ruin “Magic Mike XXL.” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Avengers 2 - Superhero movies and old actors and tangents. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Batman movies. - Phil and Lisa ruin Batman movies, Batman TV shows, plus other superhero things. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

The 2015 Oscars - Phil hasn’t seen any of the Oscar nominees, because he hates watching movies with other people. Lisa has seen a few. But that isn’t going to stop them from ruining all the Oscar nominees. They’d ruin the Oscars themselves, but the Academy seems to have done a good job of that on its own… (Apologies for the echoey audio quality of this episode. We’re working on improving the Schmeiser-Michaels home studio for future podcasts.) Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

"Into the Woods" - In this issue, Phil and Lisa talk about “Into the Woods,” based on the musical. Phil is a big musical theater fan, and enjoys Sondheim, so this puts him in a difficult position. Plus, the presidents sing “Annie.” Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.

Hallmark Christmas movies. - Phil and Lisa ruin Christmas with their critiques of holiday movies from the Hallmark channel. Host Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels.