Sort of Brilliant

We're in our 100th episode era! Here to kick of your new year right (we'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's day) we've combined our three loves: Destiel, Taylor Swift and sorting. In this episode we talk about Taylor's Gryffindor and Hufflepuff songs from every era, and talk your ear off about what they tell use about Destiel. I don't care if you don't love Taylor Swift or Destiel, or even know what they are - this is our Magnum Opus. Read our manuscript ya'll. The story isn't ours anymore.

You thought we were done with Tay Tay, didn't you? How could we be done when there are SO MANY SONGS she didn't put on her albums (and that we forgot)? Do y'all think she's gonna do Taylor's Version of these? RIP to the Kendrick version of Bad Blood. ANYWAY, this episode is the clean up of the Eras Sort. Taylor wrote some songs that are just floating out there all on their lonesome, and we're here to sort them. No stone unturned, no song unsorted. We hope you enjoy what will be the last of Taylor until we get Rep TV, Debut TV or TS12...I'm totally lying, the next episode is Taylor Swift too.

We've upgraded from the Ton to royalty (and the best member of the Ton). Queen Charlotte and Lady Danbury are, in these humble viewers' opinions, the best part of Bridgerton, and we're excited we finally get to sort them (and King George is alright too). The love stories in this show (including the platonic love stories) perfectly show off the Charlotte, George and Lady Danbury's houses.

And Carrie couldn't help but wonder...did her inability to sort herself mean she'd never be able to sort out her love life as well? AND JUST LIKE THAT...Tricia joins us this week to sort Sex and the City, the original girly gang. We're here to talk alllll about Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. We even throw in a little Big, Harry and Steve. Spoiler alert - we've got a full castle here, but we won't tell you who goes where (come on guys, it's not that hard). Grab a set at our diner/bar/high-end restaurant of choice and gab with us about New York's It Girls.

Travel back in time with us to the early to mid-2000s, when everything Hollywood produced had that special YA dystopian glow. Uglies was originally written as a book but was finally turned into a move decades later. This week we do our best to sort Tally, David and Shay. Do we succeed? Likely, we are incredible at our jobs. But that doesn't mean we didn't struggle with the material.

I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU BABY YOU WERE MADE FOR LOVING ME!!! Movies are so back baby! This week we talk about the Fall Guy, the best movie to come out in the last decade and Lauren's current hyperfixation and comfort movie! Don't worry, we briefly touch on Aaron Taylor Johnson and Hannah Waddingham for the ~culture but the real stars of the show are Colt and Jodie, or Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt if you're feeling nasty. Let's ignore that this movie is based off an old TV show in the 80s it's totally new media we have never ever heard of before. And there are unicorns. It's a very fun sort, check it out.

Have you heard of Fromville? No? Have we got a treat for you. Imagine one day you're driving anywhere in America. and you come across a fallen tree. Then you see a town. You keep driving. You see an awfully familiar looking town. You keep driving. It's the same town. You're going in circles. People run in front of your car screaming to get inside a building with them before you die. You spend the night with an old lady standing outside the door, asking you to open it, telling you you're no fun, while screams of terror echo in the distance. You will never go home again. That's From! And it's what we're sorting!!! What kind of houses do you think live here? BTW - Happy Birthday Rachel, and thanks for joining us again George!

MAXIMUM EFFORT. Finally, after years of waiting, we sort the one and only Merc with a Mouth, he puts the double ass in assassin, he is Marvel Jesus. Hannah gets to spend her birthday sorting Wade Winston Wilson and Logan Howlett, better know as Deadpool and Wolverine. Exciting news for all of you, we have a little fight about them, but unfortunately nothing as erotic as what goes on in a Honda Odyssey. Still worth a listen though, especially since we're discussing the duo that saved the MCU.

All my mornings are Tuesdays stuck in an endless NOT POSTING THE EPISODE. What if we just moved the podcast drop to Wednesdays. There just did it. We've never been late in our lives. In fact we've been early a bunch of times. ANYWAY, it's the episode you've all been waiting for! Just like Taylor gives you barely any notice when a new album drops (Reputation Easter egg) we are randomly throwing The Tortured Poets Department straight into your open mouths. Eat it up, it's delicious. And also 4 hours I'm pretty sure. Sorry about that. Are you complaining about more content? Calm down.

Dearest Gentle Readers, Did you miss us? Already this message is beginning to sound way too much like Gossip Girl. But who was Lady Whistledown if not the original GG? And in this episode we'll be sorting the Lady W herself, along with her simp of a husband and her mama, who may not be as awful as we all initially thought (spoilers: we at SOB love her). I know you're all worried we got rusty in our sorting skills over hiatus but we're here to tell you we DEFINITELY DID NOT. Because truthfully we never stop. Now sit back, relax, and let us tell you what houses these members of the ton belong too. XOXO LW

It's the end of an era! But not really, because the Chairman put out a new album we'll need to put out soon. HOWEVER, it is the end of the eras that created the Eras Tour, and we're celebrating by partying at midnight with Midnights. And that's all the Midnights. 'Til Down, 3AM edition, secret You're Losing Me edition...who knows how many more. But we sorted all the songs (that we know of) and we're here to tell you where they belong.

Lover - 8:29 folklore - 1:00:50 evermore - 2:00:00 We're in a post-TTPD world, but we sorted all of these albums pre-TTPD. Guess what, our feelings have not changed! TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL. Anyway, here we talk about two of the most lyrically beautiful albums Taylor has ever written, plus Lover! Can you believe the pandemic actually gave us the gift that is folklore? Neither can we, but it's a gift that we deserve so we'll take it.

Red (TV): 6:00 1989: 1:17:20 Reputation: 2:16:30 We did something bad...and took 3 hours to sort what may be the best 3 albums of Taylor's discography (excluding Folklore, but she's playing the game on a different level ok). This week we're looking at Red (Taylor's Version), 1989 and Reputation, taking Taylor through her 20s. There's really nothing else to say, listen to the episode, it's one of our best.

LAUREN TURNED 30 THIS WEEK! And for her 30th birthday, we're going to explore the very roots of our homoerotic society. That's right kids, while Destiel was a mere fledgling ship and at less than 100 fics on LiveJournal, Merther was out here DOING THE DAMN THING in season 1. And don't come at us being all "oh, this must be another Hufflepuff/Gryffindor ship!" IT'S NOT. It is something we have never seen before and will probably never see again, that's how goddamn rare it is. If we do see it again, I doubt we'll see it done this well, or well at all. Anyway, come join us in Camelot, on the shores of Lake Avalon, where magic is outlawed, there is only one once and future king, a sword in a stone, dragon, and the greatest sorcerer in history. Try not to cry like we did.

Debut - 19:30 Fearless (TV) - 45:17 Speak Now (TV) - 1:25:47 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING. How many times do we talk about Taylor Swift on this podcast? Almost as much as we talk about Supernatural. More so lately now that she's President of the World. So here's the deal: we already sort all her songs in our free time, we figured, why not record for everyone? In the name of science. So that's what we did, and we're starting with the three OG albums, Taylor Swift (better known as Debut; it's ok Taylor, you were young), Fearless (TV) and Speak Now (TV). We'll sort every single song on every single album, and then, using Taylor math, we'll sort the album. Are you excited???? You fucking better be, purely to know what house your favorite song was sorted into.

It's time for more Marvel!! Bet you missed it, we know Rachel did. This week Hannah joins us because why not, and we sort everyone from the new show Echo, which was amazing and CRIMINALLY UNDER-ADVERTISED. Like John Oliver, we're doing everything we can to get the Mouse to sue us, so fuck you Disney. Anyway, this isn't about them. This is about Maya, who is amazing. And Biscuits, who is also amazing. Jury is kind of out on everyone else depending on who you are (we're looking at Rachel again) but at least we can all agree that Fisk sucks. So hope on by and join us for the review and analysis of this street level anti- (but not really) hero, and just. Watch the show. It's so good.

Hi. Hi. Omg. we've finally posted an episode on a Tuesday in 2024 (I mean...they've all been posted on Tuesday...). ANYWAY. Happy Valentine's Day! To celebrate all of you in love, we're sorting Heartstopper, a cute wholesome little show about teenagers in love that was straight gooey fluff. We're sorting the whole gang (that's Nick, Charlie, Elle, Tao and Isaac for those of you who haven't kept up) and mostly this whole episode is as wholesome as the show itself. Mostly. Apologies to comics Tao, we hear we may have liked you better. BUT that didn't stop us from discussing these kids' dramas and relationships just in time for a commercialized holiday all about buying people you like chocolate. Did you know Valentine was a Saint that chased all of the snakes out of Ireland? And now we celebrate him with heart-shaped chalk discussed as candy. BE MINE and all that. This has gotten way off topic. We really enjoyed Heartstopper, thanks to all the Destiel girlies who turned us onto it.

OPA! We are 3/3 on getting the podcast out on Wednesday for 2024, and soon we're gonna gaslight you into thinking that was the release date all along. Now let me tell you how the word "gaslight" is Greek. Anyway. This week we're sorting all your favs from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which of course includes Toula, Ian, Gus, Maria and Voula. Plus a little Paris and all of the other cousins, because it's a big family and why not. This episode you'll hear a lot about Rachel's childhood cultural trauma (which are somehow at the same time her most treasured memories, go figure) and use jumping around from character to character like it's a Greek circus. Put some Windex on it and enjoy.

GENOVIA. THE LAND I CALL MY HOME. We're in Genovia this week! And we're sorting pretty much everyone worth sorting, which of course includes her majesty Mia Minuette Thermapolis Rinaldi, QUEEN of Genovia. We're following her from San Fran all the way to that little country tucked between France and Spain as we continue with our best of the early 2000s movies. With so many characters we basically cover the whole sorting spectrum, and that still doesn't save us from having an incredibly common romantic couple (Hollywood loves these houses together and on a related note I love you Nicholas Devereaux). Anyway. We also talk about Lily. And obviously Queen Clarisse. And Joe, the best character of all with the best line of all. Anyway. Give us Princess Diaries 3 you cowards.

Boo, you whores. It's time to sort the mean girls! We've got a round up of Plastics and a girl from Africa (don't ask her why she's white) to sort this week, because, well, we just hit 2024, but to use it still feels like 2004. Plus, the musical Gen Z version of this movie comes out soon, and we're riding the coattails of this Renaissance like you wouldn't believe. So come join us in sorting, because we're not like regular podcasts, we're a cool podcast, and we know you're obsessed with us, and we've got four for you Glenn Coco, and even some crack....how many references can I throw into one podcast summary? I don't know, but she doesn't even go here. Just join us, we promise it'll be fun.

You read that right. We're only sorting one person this episode. And yes it is over an hour. We're extremely talented and neither one of us ever shuts up. Anyway, his brain is full of spiders and he's got garlic in his soul...it's the Grinch. Rachel finally had her way, and this year for Christmas, we bring you our first knock down drag out sorting fight since Jack Kline all the way back in episode 2. We've been holding it in this long and now we're ready to unleash onto the world. Was it worth it Rachel? Was it worth rigging all those polls and watching them continue to lose year after year? Now we have this. Merry Christmas, and remember, if a furry green man wearing a read coat tells you there's a light on your tree that just won't light on one side, don't let him take it.

We're back on the high seas with all of the (gay) pirates, who have now been traumatized thanks to Blackbeard and Stede. But at least they're back together again. Good for them! Anyway, we're not talking about them this time, they had their moment and they're not any less insane. This time around we're talking about Izzy, Jim and Buttons. Izzy is traumatized, Jim is traumatized, Buttons is...a bird. This is a great show and we love talking about it. And guess what! We were joined by Meg and Carla from Bed, Wed and Behead Pod. Way to bury the lede. Like a pirate.

The superheroes are baaaaaack (did they ever really go anywhere) but this time they are WOMEN. This, in the year of Barbie, Taylor Allison Swift and USWNT, is also the year of THE MARVELS. And we're celebrating by sorting Carol Danvers, Monica Rambeau and Kamala Khan, also known as Captain Marvel, Ms. Marvel and a cool ass superhero name YET TO BE DETERMINED. Possibly by the X-Men. These are movie spoilers, but if you're here to listen to the episode you sure as hell have better watched the movie, because this episode is a walking ad. It's a GREAT movie.

Have you heard about the plan? Of course you have, we've all heard about the plan. It's ineffable. It's everything. Just no one knows what the plan is. What we DO know is that there are two characters who don't exactly follow the plan, but don't...not follow it either? They may be the plan if we're being honest. And they're definitely in love. Aziraphale and Crowley and two VERY different characters, which makes them fun to sort, especially when we're only comparing the two, because no other characters really matter if we're being honest. Anyway. This house pairing is a weird one! But what would you expect from an angel and a demon.

Travel with us to Mystic Falls, Virginia (a fake town, not even in Virginia) to sort literally every vampire in the USA. Because they're all there. Even the Original ones, who are only like a thousand years old. But we're not talking about them in this episode. We're talking about the love triangle, the two brothers and the doppelgänger, the threesome that never came to be even though it totally should have - Damon, Stefan and Elena. Don't tell me the CW would never do incest, have you ever seen anything on the CW. Anyway. Elena should have totally had them both, and Stefan and Damon have a weird enough relationship that it probably would have worked out. This summary is now all about incest? Go listen to us sort.

I WANNA DO BAD THINGS WITH YOU. Did we take you back to the best intro of a TV show ever made? You're welcome. It's officially spooky season and we're ready to be fang bangers (we never stopped) with all the vampires we'll be covering in this episode. Beehl, Sookeh and Eric (PERFECT SPECIMEN) are who we're covering this week as the love triangle that consumed us all after we finished reading Twilight and realized we could have the same story, but better, and with sex. Anyway. Shoot back some V, don't invite anyone into your house, and get ready to sort with us.

WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO. The ambulance noises are for 911, and also because Hailee and Illy are back! They continue their not-so-secret manipulation to get us to watch this entire show out of order by making us sort everyone in existence. This week is Chim, Maddie and Josh! You may be expecting Hailee to fold on her sorting choices again, but this time she doesn't (she says). We had a lot of fun and can't wait to pick up this show again in a year.

Who's the man? SHE'S THE MAN. Remember in the 90s and early 2000s when every teen movie shot into cinemas was actually Billy Shakespeare in disguise. I do. Bring those days back so we can have more batshit insane crazy plots like this. No one does mushrooms like Billy did anymore. Anyway. Rachel demanded a back-to-school movie, so here we are, celebrating back to school with cross-dressing, multiple love triangles, some even 2-person love triangles (TRIED AND TRUE TROPE) and soccer. Enjoy kids.

SUBLIME!

After 3 years, Rachel has finally done it. She's finally managed to leverage the power of her birthday to get Lauren to watch all 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Even better, Lauren enjoyed herself. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RACHEL INDEED. As the episode title suggests, Rachel refused to pick characters, so instead of getting multiple episodes out of her favorite show, she chose to sort everyone under the sun (and not. Because of the vampires. Get it?). As you can imagine, this episode is well into two hours long. But never fear, we are extremely funny people. So grab your stakes and hope on the bus, we're heading to Sunnydale, the Hellmouth, a fact everyone there knows upon voluntarily choosing to live there. Shit's about to get weird!

Guess who the Reylo fan is. No really guess. Is it one of us. Is it neither of us. We really cannot tell. We can tell you that the sequels are sorely lacking in any Obi-Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker. REY KENOBI TRUTHERS 4 LYFE (truthers because it is true, welcome to the initiation of your gaslighting). The sequels also needed Han and Luke and Leia together just ONCE, like AT ALL, but I DIGRESS. Let's all face it, because we have to: these movies had amazing potential. But they sucked. Don't ask us what the plot was. The only thing good about them (besides The Force Awakens, we started so strong, we could have had it ALLLLLLL) was the characters, and luckily that's what we talk about! So this week, we are sorting Rey, Kylo Ren, Finn and Poe 3 out of the 4 of whom are really great fantastic people and 1 who is so fucking unintentionally funny wow it's actually a good thing he died though because there was no coming back for him. SO. Join us and see where we sort them. Does Kylo live up to grandaddy Vader and prove himself to be the heir of Slytherin house? Spoiler alert: nope! It's so much funnier than that!!

We're back in Horseshoe Bay for another spooooooky mystery. It's not Halloween this time around because this year is Vampire Palooza, but since the 4th of July passed, we're officially calling it Spooky Season! Last time we sorted Nancy Drew, we got most of the Drew Crew (which doesn't mean we don't talk about Nancy and Ace this episode, oh ho no no) but we left our resident British witch to be sorted with Nancy's two (gay) dads! That's right, this week we're focusing on Bess, Carson and Ryan. If you don't know who those people are, you aren't watching the show, and if you aren't watching the show then we have NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU. It is the very best show. Do not disrespect us or Dead Lucy. Because she'll come for you.

Happy Fourth and more importantly happy Hannah's birthday! Today we boldly go where nowhere has gone before and sort the crew members from the bridge of the USS Enterprise into houses. So half the episode is solely about Kirk, and then Spock, and then KirkandSpock, who cares? We're just following the example the show sets okay. You can't blame us, and how perfect they are as their house representatives, and how fascinating that makes their relationship. It's okay. We're all okay. We're just shipping the oldest and most worthy slash ship of all time. We love this episode, please take a listen.

WHERE YOU LEAD. I WILL FOLLOW. ANYWHERE. THAT YOU TELL ME TO. And that includes to Star's Hollow for 7 seasons and a reunion! One of our most favorite guests Tricia is back and she requested we get to know the Gilmore girls, Luke's diner, and the Yale campus so here we are! All three of us with wildly different opinions on characters and sorting (except for the opinion on what Logan would do when he learns about the baby, we all agree on that one). You know, sometimes we shit sort, and sometimes a show demands that you watch all 7 seasons, plus the reunion where all of your favs are revisited and nothing happens. This was one such show. Our diligence would have made even Taylor proud. It's also interesting as I write this, I'm remembering there is actually a house not represented in this episode. That's wild. But we do indeed touch on why that might be the case. Anyway, ENJOY. Drink loads of coffee while listening, that was cle3arly a thing.

He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where...are you, like the rest of the world, a fan of Ted Lasso? If you're not, leave. If you're not because you haven't watched it yet, WATCH IT. We promise, although it is about football (football is after all, life) it is not a sports show. It is show about humanity and it's just NICE. With the finale (possibly the series finale) airing last week, your hosts on Sort of Brilliant decided to sort just about everyone who means anything to AFC Richmond. Ted, Rebecca, Roy, Keeley and Jamie get the most attention, but we also sort Sam, Dani, Higgens, Beard, Nate, Isaac...maybe Colin? I think we sorted Colin. We forgot to sort Trent Crimm, formerly from the Independent, but I'll tell ya right now, that man is a Ravenclaw. ANYWAY. We are a mixed bag of emotions about the finale, but not about these characters, who we love (except Nate, but ignore that). If you want a solid half hour of feel good and our amazed astonishment at the unhinged trio Roy, Keeley and Jamie make, tune in!

DON'T DEAD. OPEN INSIDE. Do you fear the walking dead? Us too. Or Lauren does. She'd kill herself immediately or you'd have another Rick or Michonne on your hands. Get ready for this description written by the only person on the episode who basically knows nothing about the show. This week we're covering an extremely topical show in pop culture (about a decade ago) - The Walking Dead! We're sorting Rick, Michonne, Daryl and Negan this week, and Lauren was shown everything she could be shown without seeing a single zombie. One episode they were in a barn. Next episode they were in a jail! Now Negan is throwing live people into hoards of zombies out of his RV. This show is a hoot with absolutely no context, but wow isn't everyone unhinged in different but increasingly hilarious ways. Did I mention that George is the special guest on this show? It's also his birthday. Happy Birthday George! Anyway. The Walking Dead? A good show I hear. Happy to be a part of this. We sorted them. Lauren will never watch the show in it's entirety, but this episode almost made her wish she did.

We're all hooked on a feeling. Rachel has not been quiet about her confusion and sometimes downright derision for superhero movies, but the Guardians are Her thing. Peter Quill (STARLORD) is her man. Guys, this is her episode. We don't know what she'll do now that it's over. By the way, is anyone else totally broken by Volume 3? Like yeah, it was GOOD for what it was left with after the mess that was Endgame, but AT WHAT COST. THE COST OF QUILL AND GAMORA? Do they even have a ship name? Quimora? Star Hunter? I don't know but they were cute and the Russo Brothers killed it like they killed so many other things good and pure about the Marvel universe. Anyway. No you know what I'm not done - the whole point of this franchise is FOUND FAMILY and then their family is broken up????? NO. Anyway. In this episode we sort Peter/Quill/Starlord, Gamora, thee Rocket Raccoon, Drax, Mantis and Nebula. They all make a very interesting mix of houses, but it works. It's beautiful. Listen in.

We may have fooled you into thinking this podcast is about sorting fictional characters into Hogwarts houses, but really, this is a podcast about Supernatural. And we're finally done hiding it (we never hid it). The episode may not be called Sort of Supernatural, but it's BASICALLY THE SAME THING. Sort of The Winchesters, the Supernatural prequel! Thanks be to the Ackles' and Robbie Thompson, and god bless the sexy silence. These are all deep cuts; if you don't live your life by this dumb show you won't understand them, and that's ok. Get out while you still can, it's too late for us. ANYWAY, this week we sort John Winchester (not smug about his house at ALL), Mary Winchester, Carlos Cervantez and Lata Dar. Listen to this episode, it was as easy for us as breathing. When Rachel and I say we sort characters as a natural part of every day conversation, we REALLY mean that about Supernatural characters. We know them all personally and we're here to tell you about them. This Scooby gang is full of emotions houses and we love them all. RENEW THE SHOW, WE WANT A SEASON 2. BLESS.

HUZZAH! Just in time for The Great season 3 (IT'S DROPPING MAY 12 PEOPLE) we've sorted anyone who's anyone on the best historical satire of all time. Is it technically true to what happened in real life? No not at all. Is the show a million times better for it? Absolutely. Life should be more like TV, and we should all be living in Catherine's Russia. Huzzah! In this episode we sort Catherine the Great herself (did you know you can just call yourself that???), Peter (gonna just spoil it here for the 2 people who read this description - he's the best one), Marial, Grigor and Aunt Elizabeth. You'll hear an episode full of japes and larks with no Swedish meatballs in sight, and maybe a dog or two thrown of the balcony. That's what science is! Unless it's inoculating us against smallpox, that is not science, it is foolishness. Huzzah!

Clean your houses! Hide your old pizza boxes and your dead bodies! The Cleaning Lady is here, and so are Bed, Wed and Behead's Carla and Meg. This is a shitsort for Team Sort of Brilliant, but not for Carla and Meg, so who know why it takes us 20 minutes to even start talking about the show (this is the only time we get with one another, we're all busy ok). We entered this podcast with the intention of sorting three people, but Carla and Meg chose episodes based on character aesthetic versus actual ability to sort, so in this episode we for real sort Thony and Arman and then kind of halfhearted sort a bunch of people whose names I now no longer recall. We recorded this two weeks ago. I turned 29 in the interim, which means my memory automatically degraded like 5 whole IQ points. That sounds like science, so we're going with it. This show was good! And everyone was very sexy. Rachel and Lauren enjoyed it. I switched from first to third person like a Lordwhat Sam Winchester meme. That's a meme deepcut. Hey remember to check out our memes on Twitter. Now, on to the episode.

We finally did it. Or rather, Rachel finally did it. She finally watched Once Upon a Time. And it was all for Killian Jones. JUST LIKE HE DESERVES. Happy birthday to Lauren, while this episode is basically sorting David, Rumpelstiltskin and Killian Jones (or as they're more commonly know, Prince Charming, the Dark One and Captain Hook) it's really ONLY the Killian Jones episode. Because it's Lauren's birthday, and she's in love with him. No joke. Stay away from him. Anyway, these house choices were VERY obvious to us, but what about you? Did you enjoy hearing about why Killian is the way he is for an hour and a half? Let us know, we'll spend more time talking about him, and we'll like it. It's fine. Rachel will go this feral next year when we sort Stranger Things. Being unhinged is healthy.

CLAP CLAP. ANTS! CLAP CLAP. ANTS! CLAP CLAP. ANTS! This week we're covering the most well-known superhero family in the Marvel franchise - that's right, it's the Ant fam. Sole defeaters (so far) of Kang the Conqueror. Despite Rachel hyping you up with her constant complaining about having to do yet another Marvel movie, we actually HAD A LOT OF FUN. AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE WE'RE SO ANTSY (haha GET IT) TO GET TO OUR ONCE UPON A TIME EPISODE. We liked Quantumania! Shout out to Katherine Newton aka Cassie Lang aka Claire Novak from Supernatural! She's going places. Those places will no longer be Supernatural conventions. Anyway, we sorted Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne, and Cassie Lang. Unfortunately we did not sort Hank Pym (spoiler for anyone who didn't get it after the man rolled in with his giant ant army: he's a Ravenclaw). This summary has gone absolutely off the rails. Next week Lauren is going to ramble for approximately 108 minutes about Killian Jones aka Captain Hook. Stay tuned.

Happy Valentine's Day - but with DRAGONS. This week we travel back a few hundred years to hang with House Targaryen and see what the hell is going on there. Spoiler alert: it is a civil war, and if you're Team Green you should not be listening to this episode. TEAM BLACK BABY. Luckily three of the people we're sorting are from Team Black so you only have to hear us riled up once. We're looking at Rhaenyra (the true Queen), Daemon (he's done nothing wrong), Viserys (he tried his best) and Alicent (fuck off) today, and boy howdy is this sorting a doozy. You think you know where they all belong? Think again. They have dragons.

WE WANT TO BELIEVE. Or Mulder does, Scully is still unsure. Our first guest episode of 2023 goes to our very good friend Nish, who demanded we shit sort the X-Files (don't worry, Rachel and Lauren are going to watch the whole thing now). It's impossible not to know anything about the X-Files in popular culture, and especially impossible when you come from the cultural cesspool that is Supernatural, so we know. We just didn't KNOW. We came in expecting one certain house pairing. And then Rachel tried to force it to be another house pairing. But ultimately, Mulder and Scully are actually a very cool, unique house pairing. Say pairing again. Pairing. Anyway. Listen to the episode to hear we how we excited we are about this duo, and especially the dynamic of this duo even despite their houses. We're very excited, this isn't a lie. All hail the aliens and this ultimate het-bait of a show.

Do you wanna hear a podcaaaaaaast? Come on let's go and play! We're back! Happy New Year y'all! We're back from our mini-break (which was very sorely needed) to talk about the first Disney movie we've ever sorted! Frozen is one of our favorites (and Elsa is definitely one of Lauren's favs) so we were excited to dive in and cool down for the new year. We sorted pretty much everyone who deigned to show their face in this movie - no one is safe. Snuggle down in your ice castle and join us as we sort out everyone in Arendelle.

Have you been friendzoned? Did you say yes? Bullshit, it's not a thing. But this movie says it is! And you know what, we love that for us. This classic Christmas movie (yes CLASSIC) is our absolute favorite and we're finally taking the time to sort it. And we sort everybody. Or at least we do between quoting the entire movie. Whatever, it's the holidays, enjoy us talking about the thing we love.

What can we say about The Holiday? Everyone absolutely loves it, but no one ever mentions it when they're listing favorite Christmas/holiday movies. Why not???? How can you not shout about how good and amazing this movie is? Even Jack Black, who is unable to ever be anyone but Jack Black, is somehow fantastic in this romcom. It's the holiday season here at SOB Pod so this week we're talking about everyone's favorite underappreciated movie. We sort the four main characters, Iris, Amanda, Graham and Miles, and forget the names of everyone else (we are deeply sorry Arthur, you are the best character in the whole movie). Rachel and Lauren did not consult on their sorting choices beforehand, so there's ALMOST conflict (not really, Lauren is very convincing) and an exciting sorting hat trick we rarely see but get all giddy over. Join in on the winter fun and happy holidays everyone! Also know our poll is rigged and next episode will absolutely be Just Friends.

Wakanda forever. In honor of Wakanda Forever releasing last week, we've recorded a very special episode of our Sort of Marvel series. This movie was a memorial to Chadwick Boseman, and both Lauren and Rachel were moved by the stark depictions of grief and loss. Every character in the Black Panther franchise is so rich and deep in personality that we had a hard time sticking with only three to sort, so we sorted five (with some extras kind of thrown in there). This week, we talk about T'Challa, Shuri, Okoye, Nikia and M'Baku, and the houses they might find themselves in if they ever left Wakanda for wizarding school. Although we don't think a single one of these people would be foolish enough to put a ratty old magical talking hat that tells you what kind of person you are on their head. Anyway. We hope you enjoy this episode as we had a lot of fun making it. Don't forget to tell us what holiday movie you'd like to see us sort over on Twitter and Instagram @sob_pod.

It may be Election Day here in the U.S., but it's also Nancy Drew day! Lauren and Rachel have loved Nancy Drew since Secrets Could Kill (that's an inside joke folks, look it up) so they were over the moon when the CW decided to take this plucky sleuth and put her on screen. And they were even more overjoyed when they managed to do her RIGHT. This week we sort Nancy, Ace, George and Nick (Ned) and get them all into the right houses. Now this may not be the Nancy Drew you remember (there's GHOSTS and they're real) but it's definitely the Nancy Drew you need. If you haven't seen the show yet, your life is deprived of something magical. Plus, it's got our first ever romantic pairing of this same house. They're a weird one, but fascinating. Join us and help us gather the clues of what houses the Drew Crew goes into.

Happy Halloween! It's Finn Wittrock season here on Sort of Brilliant. As the self-declare expert on all things Finn, Erin from It's a Fandom Thing Pod has joined us this week to sort three of his character from American Horror Story. We look at Dandy Mott (Freak Show), Tristan Duffy (Hotel) and Harry Gardner (Double Feature). Fair warning that this is a shit sorting episode and that Lauren watched exactly 50 minutes total of this entire show. Erin is a new guest, and it is her first time ever sorting, so tune in to see how she does, and tune in to see if we do Finn any justice. We're full of silliness in this episode because Lauren has no idea what's happening and Rachel and Erin are horror queens. Happy creepy season y'all, this one is for you.

They're creepy and they're kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They're all together ooky. The Addams Family. DUH DUH DUH DUH. This episode we sort Morticia, Gomez and Wednesday, the only people in this show (movie?) with any personality worth analyzing. Lauren broke Rachel's entire worldview this week by revealing The Addams Family was not a normal and accepted part of her childhood, and polling shoes this is not abnormal! Extremely sorry to all you Halloween children, but excited for you that you now get this episode! Maybe we'll also sort Wednesday when it finally comes out at Thanksgiving (Tim Burton we're under your bed). Anyway, let us know what you think (not about Lauren fighting people on Twitter, we're done with that now).