Podcast appearances and mentions of Caroline Knapp

Sarah Allen Benton is an Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor, person in long term #Recovery & Author of the book PARENTS IN RECOVERY: Navigating a Sober Family Lifestyle. Sarah's latest addition into the quit lit space fills a sorely needed void, offering parents in Recovery a field guide full of advice & wisdom from her own experience, experts, & other parents who are in #Recovery. Sarah shares on her Recovery & the unique challenges of parenting in Recovery so #ListenUp Reach out to Sarah Allen Benton:   https://www.bentonbhc.com/   Parents in Recovery: Navigating a Sober Family Lifestyle - https://www.bentonbhc.com/books/#parents   Recovery literature (quit-lit) recommendations:   Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp - https://a.co/d/edHdz8r   Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl - https://a.co/d/39EsWoU   Best pieces of recovery advice:   If you don't take the first drink you won't get drunk. This too shall pass. Recovery is often a process of recommitting   Not Afraid by Eminem - https://youtu.be/j5-yKhDd64s?si=s0oosQMelxZfbUIA   Don't forget to check out “The Way Out Playlist” available only on Spotify. Curated by all our wonderful guests on the podcast!   https://open.spotify.com/episode/07lvzwUq1L6VQGnZuH6OLz?si=3eyd3PxVRWCKz4pTurLcmA   (c) 2015 - 2024 The Way Out Podcast | All Rights Reserved Theme Music: “all clear” (https://ketsa.uk/browse-music/) by Ketsa (https://ketsa.uk) licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd)

In this edition of The Way Out I'm pleased to bring you my interview with Podcast Host, Sober Coach and Author of Sober Vibes: A Guide to Thriving in Your First Three Months Without Alcohol, Courtney Anderson. Courtney shares her journey to and through Recovery to this point with us in inspiring fashion, which makes sense for a woman who hosts a recovery podcast, wrote a recovery book and started the national sober day movement. Courtney's book fills a key gap in the quit-lit space in that it focuses on the first 90 days of sobriety, a critical time for anyone who's beginning their sobriety journey. Her book is very much a field guide and how to manual for your first 90 days, which is all about action, and action my fellow brothers and sisters is what gets us and keeps us sober and of equal importance, well. Actions saved my life in the beginning and keeps me well today, not my brain which was sabotaging me for far too long. One action I know you'll be glad you took is listening to this tremendous interview with the one and only Courtney Anderson so listen up. Reach out to Courtney Anderson and learn more about the Sober Vibes Podcast and the book Sober Vibes: A Guide to Thriving in Your First Three Months Without Alcohol: https://pagestreetpublishing-dot-yamm-track.appspot.com/2ZAyj7fCN6h3rDlEMMnHrOFTc7CHBWEEypzTT t0HQAj20HS1iAFzKOFYceDJZDQRvnKSdF43DRIry7jKOyX68HlmuPIVQjBPiOuPtP6pC4tniwRzYsvfukuDAua-oYyGIvY8C5giHNkdAS423XY8raOPdyCCWIX9mpVJ_nUEGvxUxQXU1SZKOt81c6p4embyQkbI Best piece of Recovery Advice: Advice Do what works for you. Recovery literature (quit-lit) recommendation: Drinking: A love Affair by Caroline Knapp - https://a.co/d/4E46n1s Song that symbolizes Recovery to Courtney: Purple Rain by Prince - https://youtu.be/ryT-ltTDCko?si=_tzPU2_YyM8dA6AT Don't forget to check out “The Way Out Playlist” available only on Spotify. Curated by all our wonderful guests on the podcast! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6HNQyyjlFBrDbOUADgw1Sz (c) 2015 - 2023 The Way Out Podcast | All Rights Reserved Theme Music: “all clear” (https://ketsa.uk/browse-music/) by Ketsa (https://ketsa.uk) licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-way-out-podcast/message

Speaker Bio: Caleb Norgaard was a rotational engineer at SRG Global and starting 3rd shift supervisor who eventually choose to move to China to run Tooling for Europe. He shared his story of how choosing to be intentionally uncomfortable has and continues to shape his life, career, and growth. Reflecting and Strengthening Key Questions: What does it mean to you to be intentionally uncomfortable? How do you choose challenges and areas for growth? When is it most important to have and use emotional intelligence? Why is it essential to reflect on your values and principles to combat external pressure? Host: Rob Maloney's life experiences forged a trilingual "learn-it-all" world traveler w/ 2 master's degrees, an ironman triathlete and host of the "Heart & Hard Work" podcast. He empowers rethinking by sharing perspectives of purpose as a multiplier leader, building communities where people can thrive together. He's driven to reshape broken notions of fixed limitations and mental health while reteaching a growth mindset, emotional intelligence, and meta-cognition to actualize our full potential. Connect with Heart and Hard Work: Heart.HardWork@Gmail.com https://www.linkedin.com/company/heart-hard-work Caleb's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/caleb-norgaard-2ab43442/ Books Mentioned: 1) So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport 2) Drinking - A Love Story by Caroline Knapp

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Casey McGuire Davidson who is from Seattle in the US. Like me Casey was caught in the corporate workhard/playhard culture as well as the mommyjuice trend…using alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety and becoming  more dependent over the years… But somehow we both found our way out of that trap and now we are finding joy in helping people to do the same In this Episode Casey realised in her 20's that she had no “off” switch – I think that's true of many of us yet we delude ourselves that we don't have a problem because we can go for days without drinking – but if you do finding yourself drinking far too much after that first glass then you probably need to make some changes Casey's first glimpse into the trouble that alcohol can cause came when she read “A love story” by Caroline Knapp – if you are worried about your drinking then reading some QuitLit is a great way to start – if you want a reading list then just email me janet@tribesober.com Casey went to doctors and therapists about her anxiety and insomnia – most of which was caused by alcohol but she was in denial about her drinking and just didn't CONNECT THE DOTS Like many of us Casey started making rules – in fact Casey and I had a whole conversation about the rules we used to make that you can find on her podcast (Hello Someday – episode 77 )  The reason we make these rules of course is that we are still trying to moderate as we can't imagine our life without it – having to give up completely is our worst nightmare – whereas with hindsight both Casey and myself can say that giving up completely was the best thing we ever did! Casey managed a year of sobriety (partly due to her pregnancy) but then was soon back to her bottle a night habit. The second time she gave up she understood so much more – she had joined up the dots and realized that alcohol was the cause of her anxiety and insomnia. She hired a Sober Coach and checked in with her every single day – because she was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Many of us get to this stage eventually – at our workshops I often hear people say “I'm done – I just can't do this anymore” – and those people usually succeedand go on to thrive in their sobriety We talked about the strong women we work with – and how many of us managed to hold it all together through the drinking years. Once we are liberated from the shackles of alcohol addiction there is no stopping us and we go on to achieve great things.  Sobriety is a Superpower I always say!  We talked about mindshift – Casey has gone from seeing alcohol as a “reward” to seeing it as a “maladaptive coping strategy” – alcohol is NOT self care – how on earth did the liquor industry convince us that a “glass of wine at the end of the day” was an act of self care when for many of us it's the opposite! I loved Caseys description of her breakthrough moment – how on Day 16 she's had a terrible day at work and wanted to buy a bottle of wine so much she was actually shaking – she managed to resist and then continued to get stronger. I loved her “magnet” analogy as well – how the pull of alcohol is SO strong in the early days of sobriety but the more AF days we stack up the weaker the pull  “Sober Firsts” are so important – Casey cleverly reconfigured her Italian holiday so she went to bed early, got up early to explore, went on gelato crawls instead of wine crawls and treated herself with Venetian jewellery with the money she'd saved from not drinking. Casey has some great analogies – we heard the magnet one and she also talked about how being dependent on alcohol was like carrying a backpack of rocks around – and how sobriety lets you put the burden down. Apart from reducing her anxiety and improving her sleep Casey loves the clarity of mind that sobriety gives us – we can look at our lives with fresh eyes and sometimes we can spot the things which were actually driving us to drink You heard Casey saying that she realized that corporate life had lost its appeal and that she wanted to retrain as a coach which has given her real purpose in her life I asked her for a final tip and love this one:- “don't wait until you WANT to stop drinking – it's never going to happen! -  just say you are sober curious and want to take a break to see what sobriety feels like.  Keep going for a few months and you'' begin to glimpse the joy that alcohol free living can bring. Do have a listen to Caseys podcast which is called Hello Someday, her website is called hellosomedaycoaching.com, she does 1.2.1 coaching as well as offering a course and some freebies. Another great analogy we heard from Casey is that in early sobriety we really have to “throw the book at it” – make it a priority for 6 months, treat it as a research project and “do the work” – the payback will be huge! So check out Caseys website, think about joining Tribesober.com, read the quitlit, listen to the podcasts.. Step one in making a change was to find a community – find your people – if you are looking for a community then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober's Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Alkohol rinnt durch Familien wie Wasser durch eine Landschaft und hinterlässt für immer seine Spuren in der Erde, schreibt Caroline Knapp in ihrer Autobiografie. Auch in Mias Clan war Alkohol das Mittel der Wahl, um Spaß zu haben, um besinnlich zu sein, um ersthaft zu reden, und auch die Traurigkeit und das Sterben am Alkohol war bei ihr ein Familiending.Mia und Mika haben bei ihrem ersten Treffen im Februar 2020 - bevor alles etwas anders wurde -  in Berlin über Familie, Alkohol und Gefühle geredet.  

  Audrey reflects on the effects that her dysfunctional family of origin dynamics have had relative to her slide into a problematic relationship with alcohol and subsequent sobriety. Resources discussed in this episode include: Information on codependency and narcissism from Sherry Gaba "Embrace" body image documentary https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4862478/ Body Kindness Podcast  "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace Stages of Change explained on Jean's blog UnPickled "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp    Host Jean McCarthy's blog UnPickled is here. Be sure to watch for her newest book releases at www.jeanmccarthy.ca/books  

We are kicking off 2020 with a guest I have wanted to interview forever: Holly Whitaker, founder of Tempest Sobriety School and author of the fabulous new book Quit Like a Woman. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with drinking or you're thinking about making a change for 2020, this episode is a MUST LISTEN. Today's topic is particularly personal. This is the first in a three-episode series about feminism and sobriety that I wanted to do, in part, to create some space to talk about my own recovery and to come out as a sober person and what that means as a feminist. (Have questions? Let’s talk!) Holly dropped so many mind bombs in this interview, it was almost impossible to edit. We talked about her story, why she tried and then left AA, and the origins of Tempest. We also dug into why our recovery culture needs a feminist overhaul and what it really means to “quit like a woman.” (Music by Ava Luna, Loyalty Freak Music, Katrina Stone, Rew, Space Doves, Borrtex, and Josh Leake.) Stuff We Talked About on This Episode (https://www.quitlikeawoman.com) by Holly Whitaker Tempest Sobriety School (https://www.jointempest.com/school/) The Temper (https://www.thetemper.com) (https://www.harpercollins.com/9780062513151/at-the-root-of-this-longing/) by Carol Lee Flinders (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B7QRWTH/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1) by Allen Carr Adrienne’s sobriety story (https://www.feministhotdog.com/blog/2020/1/7/hi-im-adrienne-and-im-a-sober-person) Adrienne's Quit Lit Favorites (https://sarahhepola.com/title/blackout/) by Sara Hepola (https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/93860/drinking-a-love-story-by-caroline-knapp/) by Caroline Knapp (http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com) by Clare Pooley (https://thisnakedmind.com/purchase-naked-mind-control-alcohol-book/) by Annie Grace (https://unexpectedjoy.co.uk) by Catherine Gray (https://www.lisasmithadvisory.com) by Lisa F. Smith (http://www.kristicoulter.com) by Kristi Coulter (https://www.craigbeck.com/alcohol-lied-to-me/) by Craig Beck Support this podcast

A lot of people who are self-conscious about their bodies tend to fall into dieting cycles and find themselves confused about what their bodies really need.   What kind of calorie count should you maintain? How much protein should you eat? When does your diet become something more sinister?    Today’s guest is Jenna Hollenstein, an author and registered non-diet dietitian who helps people who are struggling with chronic dieting, disordered eating and diagnosed eating disorders.    Jenna joins Dotsie and Alexandra to share how she helps her clients find a greater sense of peace and wellness through a non-diet approach.    They also talk about how people’s relationship with food stems from segregating the body and how you can recover from that division.    Tune in to hear how Jenna replaces dieting with healing, what you need to know about Intuitive Eating, how to help your children develop good eating habits and more.    What we discuss in this episode:   - What you need to know about daily protein requirements    - How Jenna’s upbringing encouraged her to become a dietitian   - The effects of repressing your needs and desires, how they reemerge as something else, and other insights from Caroline Knapp’s Appetites   - How various cultures look at food differently and the relationship most Americans have with food   - Jenna’s practice based on Intuitive Eating, and the three principles you derive from the habit   - The physiological consequences of Sensory Specific Satiety   - Jenna’s role as a health coach and dietician towards her client   - The benefits of including children in their feeding process, as told by Ellyn Satter in her Division of Responsibility model   - Follow Jenna Hollenstein on Instagram at @jennahollenstein, on Twitter at @JennaHollens, or on Facebook at @jhollenstein. Check out her website at eat2love.com.   Connect with Switch4Good   - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ2toqAmlQpwR1HDF_KKfGg   - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Switch4Good/   - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/switch4good/   - Twitter: https://twitter.com/SwitchForGood   - Website: switch4good.org

Picture this: you are in a restaurant and really craving a burger. Or a salad. You freeze. Will people judge what you choose? Do you judge what other's choose? And how does this get in the way of your Food Peace journey? Listen to this latest episode of Love Food with special guest Jenna Hollenstein RD author of Eat to Love. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. This episode's Dear Food letter: Dear Food,  I have recently been on an uphill battle to try and fix our relationship. After countless years of living a secret life with an unacknowledged eating disorder- consisting largely of restricting and bingeing- I made the change to recognize and treat my disordered eating patterns. I have since been diagnosed with an eating disorder and am currently adventuring through the recovery process with a support system of professionals and loved ones.  Although I can feel and appreciate the changes that I've made and the growth that I've experienced, there is one recurring thought I cannot let go of. I feel that it is keeping me trapped in my eating disorder world. Currently, I am gradually increasing my food intake and attempting to diversify the types of food that I consume. However, I'm finding this to be a painfully difficult experience because I cannot stop thinking that everyone is constantly judging me for what I eat. Essentially, whenever I eat something, I believe that other people are thinking to themselves, “wow, look at her eating that…she is eating that because she is fat”. This thought is strongest if I were to ever eat food that is constructed as “unhealthy”, but is also present if I were to eat food that is constructed as “healthy” but consume a lot of it. For example, when I eat a restaurant, I fear finishing my plate because I assume that the wait staff will judge me for eating all of the food and will judge my body.  That being said, I understand that this is an illogical believe to have. I have countless pieces of objective evidence (e.g., from doctors, the number on the scale, the size of clothing I wear) that indicate that I am not fat, I am not overweight. Yet, this evidence doesn't override my internal belief that my body is too big and that others are in agreeance with me. Throughout my recovery process, I have come to understand that I hold a strong core belief that my worth comes from my body and that I should always strive for a smaller body. I know this belief is problematic, but I can't stop agreeing and believing it.  To add one other layer to this puzzle, this thought- where others judge my body and believe that I shouldn't be eating because my body hasn't achieved the thin ideal it has been striving for- is particularly difficult for me to let go of because I hold this judgment on others. I find myself judging others for what they eat and I tend to, in my mind, idealize those with small bodies and not hold them to this same judgment. This has been a difficult piece for me to accept because it makes me feel so sad and ashamed to think that I am doing to others what I fear others are doing to me. This fear has fueled so many problematic behaviors and I know it is so unfair for me to hold this judgment on others.  I am wondering how I can overcome this. How do I remove this judgment that I place on myself and on others? How do I let go of this tiring, inaccurate mind-reading game I am constantly playing? Will I ever accept my body and accept the fact that it deserves to eat food- and a variety of foods?  Sincerely,  A life of judging and judgment  Show Notes: This episode's guest Jenna Hollenstein Jenna's book Eat to Love Appetites by Caroline Knapp(aff) Self compassion by Kristen Neff(aff) self-compassion.org Open Heart Project @ susanpiver.com The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron (aff) Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food's Food Peace Syllabus. Eating Disorder Dietitians Julie Dillon RD blog Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

We need more female leaders in Corporate America, which means that as women, dreaming big for ourselves is not just fun, but actually critical to closing the corporate gender gap.   In this episode, Jess discusses what it means to be ambitious and why it’s so important for ambitious women to not sell themselves short in terms of what they want for their careers.  She discusses:   Why it can feel scary and even uncomfortable to want something big for yourself Why we sometimes don’t allow ourselves to dream as big as we should Why dreaming big can be so powerful The relationship between female empowerment and career goals, and How you can start going after massive goals TODAY, no matter who you are or what you do   If you’re interested in diving deeper into the topic of female ambition and desire, check out Appetites by Caroline Knapp: https://amzn.to/2TdyOyJ    As always, please reach out if you’re enjoying the show!  And feel free to submit a listener question

What does drinking have to do with female empowerment and feminism? We ask author Sarah Hepola to share her perspective on how society and pop culture influence women who drink dangerously.Sarah has written an incredible memoir, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget, that has placed her among the ranks of authors like Caroline Knapp and one of my personal favorites, Cheryl Strayed. Her essays have appeared in New York Times Magazine, Elle, Glamour, the Guardian, Slate, and Salon. We met with her while back to talk about the intersection between feminism, motherhood, and drinking.

What does drinking have to do with female empowerment and feminism? We ask author Sarah Hepola to share her perspective on how society and pop culture influence women who drink dangerously. Sarah has written an incredible memoir, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget, that has placed her among the ranks of authors like Caroline Knapp and one of my personal favorites, Cheryl Strayed. Her essays have appeared in New York Times Magazine, Elle, Glamour, the Guardian, Slate, and Salon. We met with her while back to talk about the intersection between feminism, motherhood, and drinking.

“I know that if I had kept drinking and doing drugs the way that I was, I would have died. There wasn’t really another option.” — Kate on her decision to get soberOn this episode of the #nakedbeautypodcast I’m joined by Kate — writer and lover of all things wellness. We discuss this universal phenomenon of women constantly thinking about their hair…. what to do with it, to dye or not to dye, etc. - why is it constantly on our minds? Kate gives me insight into going platinum blonde & I get her thoughts re: as a white woman how much she worries about cultural appropriation... We talk about a summer in the South of France breeding insecurity, going on her first diet at 10, and her super-chic Mom practicing ‘radical candor’ way before it was fashionable. Kate, who’s now 11 years sober, talks about the 12-step program and embracing the practice. Also stay tuned for a hilarious take on why my question ‘when do you feel most beautiful?’ is so hard to answer (54:15)Follow Kate/ DM her to chat: https://www.instagram.com/thekateseward/Stay in touch with me: https://www.instagram.com/brookevard/ Join the community on Instagram @Nakedbeautyplanet Products/Things Mentioned:Drinking a Love Story by Caroline Knapp https://www.amazon.com/Drinking-Love-Story-Caroline-Knapp/dp/0385315546Cat Marnell’s Amphetamine Logic https://www.vice.com/en_us/topic/amphetamine-logicAngel Wash by Kevin Murphy https://www.kevinmurphystore.com/shampoo/angel-washCollagen Powder for added protein with your morning coffee https://bit.ly/2K5y2OUSakura Life Chocolate Collagen https://www.sakara.com/products/beauty-chocolatesIf you love the show, please subscribe and rate on the Apple Podcast App & spread the word using #nakedbeautypodcastThis episode was mixed by Laila OwedaJoin the #nakedbeautypodcast community on Instagram: @nakedbeautyplanet Keep in touch@brookedevard See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A quote from “Drinking: A love Story” by Caroline Knapp sums up the theme for today's podcast:  “Early sobriety has the quality of vigorous exercise, as though each repetition of a painful moment gone without a drink serves to build up emotional muscle.” Life will happen.  We can't control what challenges life will send our way but we can control how we respond.  Each passing trial is an opportunity to build one's sobriety muscles, which get stronger over time as healthy habits and ways of thinking become more deeply ingrained.  Quitting drinking is difficult because not only is alcohol physically addicting, but we often turn to alcohol to help us cope with life's many challenges.  In sobriety, we find an opportunity to learn new coping skills and rewire our brain to handle difficult times without turning to alcohol for help. Samantha, with 18 days since her last drink, shares her story...   SHOW NOTES   [7:20] Paul Introduces Samantha.   Samantha is 27 years old, from Louisiana.  She has a girlfriend and a cat, works at a lawfirm, likes music, travel, reading and listens to podcasts.  She's a geography student, returning to school to finish her degree.    [8:30] When did you first notice that you had a problem with drinking?   In her early 20s.  She used alcohol to deal with her anxiety.  She thinks alcohol is a big part of society in Louisiana.  She has family members that struggle with alcohol.  An abusive relationship drove her to drinking more than normal.  All of her friends seemed to drink a lot.    [12:35] What did drinking a lot look like for you?  Mostly just wine, and eventually whiskey, which became her alcohol of choice.    [13:07] Did you ever put any rules into place to try and control your drinking? Yes, she would buy smaller bottles or only drink on weekends.    [13:50] What was your rock bottom moment?  Why did you decide to quit? Sick and tired of being sick and tired mostly.  A therapist refused to see her while she was drinking.  She was angry.  She refused the rehab and kept drinking.  A different time she had written in her journal about quitting drinking, only to go out later that night and black out again.    [18:34] What was it like to break that promise to yourself? She woke up and felt terrible, shameful, embarrassed.    [19:55] How has sobriety affected your borderline personality disorder? Her emotions are normally intense and fleeting.  Alcohol helped her maintain an even keel.  Without alcohol, she's switched to Zoloft.  It's difficult to deal with strong emotions without alcohol.  She's now optimistic about her future and has decided to go back to school, realizing that alcohol was getting in her way.    [23:40]  How has your behavior changed since you've quit?  She goes to bars less.  She is looking for more things to do at home.  She's trying to fill the void left by alcohol with healthy activities.    [24:40] Is your partner trying to get sober? No, she wants to stop but she is continuing.  It's difficult to see her continue, not because it makes her want to drink, but because she sees the effect alcohol is having on her.  [27:06] What benefits are you getting from quitting? Her skin cleared up.  She's lost weight.  Her emotions are easier to handle.  She's now able to see that one drink may start well but it will lead to a terrible conclusion.  [30:27] Have you lost anything to alcohol? She feels like she lost her dignity.  Various memories from drinking make her feel shameful or embarrassed.  [32:30] What advice would you give to your younger self? Not to smoke or drink ever!  She received info about substances while in school, but feels like it had no impact.  She would tell herself to love herself.  She thinks loving oneself is the root of many of the decisions we make.  [35:04] What is your proudest moment so far in sobriety? She was told that she was a great student by an old professor.  Also, she went to a bar and didn't have any drinks.  [36:30] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? During a flood in 2016, she was caught in a flash flood and had to be rescued while drunk. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Her gf showed her a picture of her sleeping on the ground. What’s your plan moving forward? She is going to connect with and stay close with sober friends. She will focus on her goals. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Other sober people. Podcasts:  Recovery Elevator, The Mental Illness, Happiness Hour, Crazy in Bed, Your own Magic, What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Keep your goals in front of you. You can always go back to drinking. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Any amount of time drinking is a win. If you mess up, don't beat yourself up about it.  You might be an alcoholic if... “You get drunk at 10am at your grandmother's birthday party.”   Resources mentioned in this episode: Drinking: A Love Story – By Caroline Knapp The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – by Mark Manson Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com     “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”  

“Do I have a drinking problem?”  Part II The first episode under this particular theme came out back in March of 2015.  In “Drinking: A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp, a questionnaire is presented that will help you determine whether or not you have a drinking problem, and if yes, at what stage your drinking problem is.  See the questions below: 1.  Do you drink heavily when you are disappointed or have had a quarrel with someone? 2. When you have trouble or feel under pressure, do you always drink more heavily than usual?   3.  Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?   4.  Have you ever been unable to remember part of the previous evening, even though your friends say you didn’t pass out?   5.  When drinking with other people, do you try to have a few extra drinks when others won’t know about it?         6.  Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable if alcohol is not available?   7.  Are you more in a hurry to get your first drink of the day than you used to be?   8.  Do you sometimes feel a little guilty about your drinking?   9.  Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?   10.  Have you been having more memory “blackouts” recently?    11.  Do you often want to continue drinking after your friends say they’ve had enough?     12.  Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?   13.  When you’re sober, do you sometimes regret things you did or said while drinking?   14.  Have you tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking?           15.  Have you sometimes failed to keep promises you made to yourself about controlling or cutting down on your drinking?           16. Have you ever tried to control your drinking by changing jobs or moving to a new location?    17.  Do you try to avoid family or close friends while you are drinking?         18.  Are you having more financial, work, school, and/or family problems as a result of your drinking?    19.  Do more people seem to be treating you unfairly, without reason?   20.  Do you eat very little or irregularly during the periods when you are drinking?   21.  Do you sometimes have the “shakes” in the morning and find that it helps to have a “little” drink, tranquilizer or medication of some kind?        22.  Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?      23.  Do you sometimes stay drunk for several days at a time? 24.  Do you sometimes feel very depressed and wonder if life is worth living?   25.  After periods of drinking do you sometimes see or hear things that aren’t there?   26.  Do you get terribly frightened after you have been drinking heavily?   Know that actions often speak louder than words.  If you are listening to a recovery podcast, filling out a recovery questionnaire, wondering whether or not you have a problem, then chances are your actions are telling you that you do.  That conclusion is an okay place to be, too.  Better to realize it earlier than later so you reach out and get help if you need it.  Darla, with 3 years since her last drink, shares her story...   SHOW NOTES   [11:00] Paul Introduces Darla.   Lives in Grand Junction, Colorado, 52 years old, mother of two.    [13:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? Drinking has been a part of her life for a long time but it never had power over her until her mid 40's.  It happened gradually.  She tried to control it with rules, but despite her efforts it continued to escalate.    [16:00] How old were you when you put limits on your drinking? Around 45 she drank regularly and 46 it progressed.    [16:54] Was there a specific stressor in your life at the time?  The end of her marriage.  Her therapist advised her to get a divorce.  She had to get a restraining order.  It was easy to lean on drinking because she grew up around it.   [19:15] Did anyone in your family history struggle with alcohol? Her father's side.  Her grandfather, father and brother.  Others have issues with other kinds of addiction.    [22:13] What were the rules you put in place to try to reign in your drinking? She tried to limit the day of the week.  Her targets kept moving as she kept breaking her own rules.  She felt like it was against her will.    [23:33] Did you ever attempt to quit before this attempt? Not really.  Despite a DUI, a court order to stop drinking, and CBT classes she continued to drink.  When she quit, she was “white knuckling” it.  She had moderate success but then binged at a holiday party, which lead her to another DUI and waking up in jail.  The consequences terrified her and scared her enough to quit.    [31:00] How did you end up quitting?  She called a family attorney.  She went to therapy, both individual and group.  She ended up in AA.    [32:45] What do you do when you get cravings? She recognizes the thoughts that lead to relapse.  She still feels powerless against alcohol.  [34:15] What unpleasant things did you have to do to stay sober? She went to AA.  She didn't want to admit that she was an alcoholic.  She didn't want to admit that she was afraid.  She had to accept the circumstances.  [35:35] Has being in recovery helped you at work? It gave her a level of compassion others may not have.  She can help guide people toward resources.  She's letting people know about it slowly, especially at work. [40:20] Why are you going to attend the Cafe RE trip to Peru? She wants to challenge herself.  She wants to seize new opportunities.      [41:22] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in a jail cell and not remembering how she got there. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Going in to work hungover, knowing that she wasn't able to drive. What’s your plan moving forward? Keep doing the one day at a time. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Meditation, exercise, activities, service / helping others. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Get out her own head and to help others. Helps with cravings, anxiety. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Examine yourself. Are you willing to do whatever it takes?  You might be an alcoholic if... “you come to in jail, in a suicide suit, and you wonder where the rest of the bottle is.”   Resources mentioned in this episode: Drinking: A Love Story – A book by Caroline Knapp Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com     “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”  

 Step Four – “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” The Recovery Elevator Podcast isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous, but we cover the steps due to listener demand.  For easy lookup:  episode 142 was Step 1 episode 146 was Step 2 episode 152 was Step 3.  The fourth step is probably everyone's least favorite step, as it involves things we don't want to do... face our past, our mistakes, our scary thoughts, emotions and current problems.  Though it can be scary, it is still one of the most important steps in recovery.  Alcoholism is merely a symptom of underlying inner conflict, delusions and/or flaws in our character that need to be faced, and where possible, overcome. The key is honesty.  While working step four, we get a new perspective on the bigger picture and see ourselves and our behavior in a new way that helps us to move forward without fear and allows us to embrace a healthy self-image.  This step is all about bringing unconscious behavior to light.  We gradually realize that only we can change, and not change others.  This step is meant to be done with your sponsor.  Kerry, with 12 days since her last drink, shares her story...   SHOW NOTES   [13:25] Paul Introduces Kerry. Kerry lives in Los Angeles, is 47 years old, is married, has two children and four dogs.  She loves reading, the movies, traveling, and book stores.    [17:40]  When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? In her 40's.  She started in her teens, and as an adult, she drank daily.  She struggled to stay sober while she was pregnant.  Her drinking ramped up after her second child, in her 40's.   She thought her drinking was normal, so she found it hard to believe she had a problem.   [22:00]  What were some of the rules you put in place? She tried to only have a glass of wine with dinner, but it didn't work.  She tried to insert a glass of water between each glass of wine.  The rules didn't work, which only made her feel down on herself.       [25:00]  When was your first attempt to quit? 2 and ½ years ago.  Her friends invited her to AA meetings.  She “white knuckled it” about three weeks.  Relapsed.  This added more shame, which leads to more drinking.  She kept trying and has been in and out since then.    [27:20]  Was there one moment that changed it for your or was you generally sick and tired? She was sick and tired.   She became ashamed when her daughter witnessed her really drunk.    [29:00]  What are some of the things in your recovery portfolio and what will you do to make it stick this time? She wakes up early and meditates.  She reads a chapter of “Living Sober” every day.  She reaches out to sober friends.  She goes to meetings occasionally.    [32:49]  What benefits do you see with 12 days in sobriety? More energy.  Better sleep.  No hangovers.  Being more aware and present for her kids.  Better memory.     [34:41]  How are you overcoming the internal dialogue that is trying to convince you to drink? She knows it's her addiction talking and it helps her to compartmentalize the thought.  She uses meditation techniques to let it pass.    [36:40]  How has it been with your husband?  He's been supportive.  He also thought she was drinking too much.  He's compassionate and helpful.   [40:35]  What's on your bucket list in recovery? She loves traveling.  She intends to use the money saved by not drinking to fund a trip to Amsterdam.  She wishes to be more present for herself and her family.   [43:10] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Before she got married, she went to a dinner party and got drunk. She left the party without telling anyone, and she threw up on the subway.  Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Her husband noticed that she was slurring her words and pulled aside to ask her to stop drinking. What’s your plan moving forward? Keep up with the morning meditation. More meetings.  Find a sponsor and work the steps.  What’s your favorite resource in recovery? She likes reading other people's stories. She's reading the books by Caroline Knapp and Sarah Hepola.  (See mentioned resources below) What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Follow the drink to the end”. One glass isn't just one glass.. it ends up with her throwing up and a terrible hangover.  What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just do it. Start today.  Don't set a date, just do it today.    You might be an alcoholic if... You open a bottle of wine, pour out two glasses and pour the rest down the drain. Then, after you've had the two glasses, you go out to the liquor store and buy more wine to keep drinking.     Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions – A book by Russell Brand Living Sober – an introduction to AA and recovery.    Blackout:  Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget – by Sarah Hepola Drinking:  A Love Story – by Caroline Knapp Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com     “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”  

Filling in for Quincy this week is Ryan's partner Christina, who has a lot of feelings about 2016 French-Belgian horror film RAW, as well as the first two seasons of ASH VS. EVIL DEAD. Also discussed are the cowardice of Michael Douglas, dads covered in scarves, and being fed by David Lynch like a baby bird. Mentioned/of interest: The Guardian interview with RAW writer-director Julia Ducourneau Snippets in this video of Ducourneau speaking about the film APPETITES: WHY WOMEN WANT by Caroline Knapp 

Comedy writer Mark Rennie joins us to discuss the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls. A much-loved, much-revered show gets DISCUSSED. What made it so good? What are some of the stand-out episodes? Who was that guy in the first episode that never got mentioned again? We go over all this an OTHER TOPICS LIKE THIS! Also, Will talks about the getting-sober autobiography Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp, and Anthony discusses the William Finn musical In Trousers.

"(The counselor) had me go through the "Are You and Alcoholic?" checklist…and I said 'yes' to just about everything and I think I said, 'But I don't know if I have a problem.' And she was like, why did you come here?" —Laura on SRN Laura Silverman is the founder of The Sobriety Collective, a resource and blog created to celebrate recovery in all its forms. In 2007, at age 24, Laura pulled a 180 and went from insecure, anxious binge drinker to newly-minted sober 20-something. This scary (but, for her, absolutely necessary) step catapulted her into a journey of long-term recovery. She may not be a card-carrying member of AA, but Laura will always have gratitude for the program that welcomed her with open arms and helps millions of others around the world. She believes in the raw power of storytelling and thanks Koren Zailckas, Sacha Z. Scoblic, Caroline Knapp, Kristen Johnston, and Sarah Hepola for their fantastic memoirs of addiction and recovery. Laura absolutely loves the #RecoveryFriendlyWeb in all its glory and is super-pumped for the new recovery movement’s UNITE to Face Addiction in Washington, DC this October. Laura also spits fi-yah on a karaoke mic. You can find out more about Laura at @wearesober on Twitter, TheSobrietyCollective.com and in her story on KLĒN + SŌBR