Podcast appearances and mentions of kristen neff

TRANSCRIPT Gissele: [00:00:00] was Luther King jr. right? Does love have the power to turn an enemy into a friend. We’re creating an inspiring documentary called Courage to Love The Power of Compassion, which explores extraordinary stories of those who have chosen to do the unthinkable, love and forgive even those who are deeply hurtful. Gissele: Through their journeys, we will uncover the profound impact of forgiveness and love, not only on those offering it, but also receiving it. In addition, we’ll hear from experts who will explore where the love and compassion are part of our human nature, and how we can bridge divides with those we disagree with. Gissele: If you’d like to support our film, please go to www M-A-I-T-R-E-C-E-N-T-R e.com/documentary. It’s mitre center.com/documentary Hello and welcome to The Love and Compassion Podcast with Gissele. We believe that love and compassion have the power to heal our lives and our world. [00:01:00] Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more amazing content. Today we’re talking about self-compassion in teenagers. And my guest is Dr. Gissele: Karen Bluth, who’s an associate professor emerita at the University of North Carolina, where she studies how mindful self-compassion improves the mental health of teens and young adults. She’s the author of five books for teens and caregivers, including The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens and Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens in Schools. Gissele: In addition, she’s a 2022 recipient of the Inaugural Mind and Life Foundation Award for Public Communication of Contemplative Research. Yay. As a mindfulness practitioner for over 45 years, a mindfulness teacher and an educator with over 18 years of classroom teaching experience, Dr. Bluth frequently gives, talks conducts workshops, and teaches classes in self-compassion in educational and community settings and trains [00:02:00] teachers in mindful self-compassion for teens internationally. Gissele: Please join me in welcoming Dr. Karen Bluth. Hi, Karen. Karen: Hi. It’s well. It’s my pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me. Gissele: Oh, thank you so much for coming. I think this is a topic that it’s definitely needs to be discussed, and as a mother of two teens, I know the need for self-compassion. I was wondering if you could tell the audience a little bit about how you got started in this work. Karen: Sure. Well it really takes me back to my teen years. I was in high school, it, I was a senior in high school. It was 1975 and I needed. A topic for an independent study project that I had to do for my English class. and it was due the next day. I was driving down the road. I didn’t have my topic of course. Karen: I was driving down the road and outta the corner of my eye, I saw a sign that said something about meditation. Tm at that ti at that time it was transcendental meditation. It still [00:03:00] is actually, but I remembered hearing something about meditation in a different class in my social studies class. And there was something about it when we talked about it in that social studies class that resonated with me. Karen: And I remember thinking, Hmm, that makes sense. So when I saw that sign out of the corner of my eye, I thought, oh, well, let me check this out. So I pulled in. It was this old house I remember, and I went in and I picked up some brochures about transcendental meditation. And talked to the people there and they said, well if you want to be initiated, and I think that was the word they used, come back Saturday at 10 o’clock, I think they said, bring flowers and a piece of fruit. Karen: So it sounded very mysterious to me, but I did, I went back and, and was given a mantra at that time, and that was the beginning of my meditation practice. And you know, I practiced for my senior year in high school. I think when I went to college, it kind of fell away [00:04:00] for a couple of years. And then I got back into it after college and have been practicing meditation, mindfulness since you know, probably the mid eighties. Karen: Regularly. It’s been a cornerstone, an anchor throughout my entire adult life. As I’m sure as I’m sure you know, it has been for, for many people. I, I was very lucky to start early on. And then sometime in the nineties I had little kids and so I spent a fair amount of time in my car with them, in their car seats, trying to get them to nap because they wouldn’t nap at home. Karen: Yeah, I imagine there’s a lot of people that, that resonate with this. And so I had a cassette tape at that time. That’s what we used in our cars of poetry of self-compassion read by the British poet, David White. And this cassette tape had been passed around my meditation group [00:05:00] and so I had this copy and I listened to these poems and. Karen: I think I internalized the message a lot because it was in my car stereo for quite some time. And so this message of self-compassion became really integrated into into, you know, how I spoke to myself. And then about a decade later, I decided to go back to school and get my PhD and I wanted to bring together the different threads of my life. Karen: So that was my personal life, my mindfulness practice Gissele: mm-hmm. Karen: And this whole time I was, I was teaching in schools. I was a teacher and middle school and upper elementary school, fifth grade, mostly also younger grades, but mostly fifth grade and middle school. And so youth and, and, and being with youth and. Karen: Wanting to improve the lives of youth was [00:06:00] really very central to me and my mission actually. And so I, when, when I went back to school in 2008, I wanted to bring together these different threats of my life, my personal mindfulness practice, and my interest in helping youth. And at that time, it was just a few years after Kristen Neff was publishing her work. Karen: So her first articles, research articles on self-compassion came out in 2003. And so this was five years later. There wasn’t that much published at that time and nothing with teens. And so that’s when I just started diving into the work at that point. So that’s a long, a long story really, but that’s really how, how I came to where I am now. Gissele: It’s wonderful. I love that as the teen, you, it’s like, okay, well I’m gonna be initiated here. I’ll show up with my stuff. Karen: It was like, why not? You know? It was 1975. I was like, you know, whatever. It sounds a little weird. Fruit and flowers and [00:07:00] a mantra, but whatever, you know? Gissele: Mm. Yeah. That’s lovely. I do Kriya yoga and so there, there is like an initiation part of the, the component too, and there’s like the offering. Gissele: So yeah, that I resonated with that. I’m interested to to know what the receptivity is of young people towards self-compassion. And the reason why I ask that is as, as a mother of two teenagers, I know that when I, you know, I emphasized to them the importance of meditation, the importance of loving yourself. Gissele: They understand it, but they don’t always wanna practice what I’m doing. And so they wanna find their own path to loving themselves and being compassionate to themselves. What has been the reception of young people? When you show up to schools Karen: Yeah, of course, of course. So yeah, it’s interesting. Karen: So I hear from parents a lot that there’s, and this is actually, you know, this is the job of teens, is to resist what comes from parents. Gissele: Yeah. Karen: And find their own way, as you said. So this is not [00:08:00] not only is it not a bad thing, it’s actually a good thing that they’re a little bit resistant, a little bit of, Hmm. Karen: I don’t wanna just like take on what you’re handing me. Gissele: Yeah. Karen: So what is the reception? It depends who it’s coming from. So again, if it’s coming from a parent, of course it varies. It depends on the relationship between the parent and the kid. But usually, and I’m making a generalization here, there is Karen: A little bit of resistance, a little bit too, you know, maybe a little bit more than a little bit of resistance. Generally after the first class teens if we don’t push them and we don’t, you know, we, it’s always an invitation to participate in these classes. we’re not heavy handed about it. Karen: We don’t require them. Not that you could anyway, you can’t require somebody to do these practices, right? Gissele: Yeah. Karen: We just invite them in, but we don’t you know, we’re not heavy handed. We invite them in and if [00:09:00] we approach it that way the resistance decreases a lot. And you know, the teens might be quiet, but they’re taking it in. Karen: And I have to tell you that. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard from teens at the end of a class teens will pull me aside and say something like, you know, this was really my mom’s idea to take this class, or, this was my therapist’s idea. I didn’t really wanna do it, but I’m so glad I did. Karen: I frequently hear that. You know, this is the nature of the beast, you know, this is what, this is what teens are supposed to be doing. They’re supposed to be questioning, they’re supposed to be particularly questioning what comes on, you know, what the adults around them are saying to them. Gissele: I agree with you. I think it’s a developmental stage, right? Because we’re constantly trying to improve, what our parents did be better, be different, if we only just accepted the status quo , I don’t think there’d be progress . I’m curious [00:10:00] as to what some of the outcomes you have seen What are some of the things that you have found have helped, maybe some of the things that maybe weren’t as successful? Karen: Yeah. So well first of all, we know from research that teens who are more self-compassionate experience less depression, anxiety, and stress. For example, we know that as teens progress through adolescence, they tend to become more depressed. Karen: And that’s mostly driven by females. And that, that when teens are more self-compassionate, they’re less likely to get depressed as they move through the teen years. So we see that. We also know that stress is linked to depression, but we know that teens who are more self-compassionate, when they’re stressed, they’re less likely to be depressed. Karen: We also know that depression is linked to self-injury non-suicidal self-injury, things like cutting. But teens who are more self-compassionate are less likely to [00:11:00] self-injure when they’re depressed. so we see across many studies in many different places all over the world, we see that self-compassion actually acts as a protective factor or a buffer against. Karen: Some of these difficult challenges in the teen years. And we also know when we actually teach teens self-compassion through these different through our mindful self-compassion for teens course and workshops and things like that, we see that teens at the end experience less depression than they did at the beginning. Karen: Less anxiety, less stress. And in our most recent study with teens who had some suicidal ideation going in, that they had significantly less suicidal ideation at the end of the study. Gissele: That’s really, really powerful. I just wanted to clarify. You said driven by females? Gissele: Does that mean that it’s mostly young girls who are experiencing the [00:12:00] depression? Karen: I. Well, what we see is that as girls move from age 11 or 12 to 18 generally they become of course it’s generalization, but overall teen girls become more depressed and by the time they’re 18 or so, 18 or 19, they are twice as likely to be depressed as males of the same age. Karen: And that statistics stays the same stable through adulthood. So, you know, adult women are generally twice as likely to be depressed as adult men. That doesn’t mean that that boys or men aren’t struggling also they are. It’s just that their way of expressing their discontent, dissatisfaction, unhappiness is not through depression. Karen: It’s through other means. Usually external. Usually things like anger comes [00:13:00] out with anger. Gissele: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for that. In this world of COVID, we have young people being more isolated and lonely and with all the school shootings that have happened in America in particular not as much in Canada I’m curious as to the impact of self-compassion on improving relationships for young people. Gissele: Does self-compassion work help them in terms of relationships with one another? Karen: Yeah. Well, we do see we do have a study with young adults that shows and these, these were 18 through 30 that shows decrease in loneliness when these young adults were more self-compassionate. I think what we’re seeing it overall is that obviously through COVID, there’s a lot of isolation, loneliness a lot more turning to social media, turning to technology now, AI and, what [00:14:00] social media does unfortunately is exacerbate this sense of comparing oneself with others, right? Mm-hmm. Gissele: Yeah. Karen: And of course, even though we all know, including teens, that what’s posted in social media is not the full picture of somebody’s life. It’s the curated picture of somebody’s life still. Karen: It exacerbates a sense of, I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy. Look at that person there, you know, they have all this great stuff going on in their lives, and I don’t, you know, so self-compassion can be helpful there. And in fact, in our program, we have a social media exercise and what we teach. Karen: Teens is how to be aware of how they’re feeling when they’re engaging with social media. So we don’t tell them social media’s bad, don’t engage in it because first of all, that’s not gonna work. Second of all, as adults, [00:15:00] we engage with social media. You know, it would be hypocritical of us, us to say not to. Karen: So what we do, which I think is a lot more helpful and also empowering to teens, is to teach them to notice what are you feeling when you’re engaging with social media? What’s coming up for you? Are you feeling this sense of, oh, I’m not good enough, or are you feeling lonely or sad? Or maybe you’re feeling excited, maybe you’re feeling connected. Karen: You know, it’s not all bad. So notice what you’re feeling and then make a choice that’s good for you, that’s healthy for you, you know, take care of yourself. So, so, so self-compassion is all about being good to yourself, supporting yourself, standing up for yourself, you know, doing what’s healthy for yourself.[00:16:00] Karen: It’s all of that. So if you’re noticing that, that something is, makes you feel bad, you have the power to limit it or shut it down completely. And whether that’s social media or you know, a toxic relationship with a friend, you know, you can do that also. But so it’s bringing awareness to what you’re feeling when you’re engaging with them. Gissele: I really appreciate that you said this because I think, I don’t wanna underestimate how powerful what you just said is. Because so many of us are so distractible, we have no idea how we’re feeling in our body. And until we’re present in our body, we can’t really understand how we’re treating ourselves. Gissele: And so to allow young people to just notice how they’re feeling about certain things helps them understand, Hey, wait a minute, is this a positive thing for me or a negative thing for me? And makes them more aware about the choices they’re making and therefore they can choose differently, . They might not choose [00:17:00] differently, but it gives them that awareness of like, how am I being impacted by everything? Gissele: And this is really authentically me, Then they can make that choice. They could take their power back. So I think that’s fantastic. Can you share a little bit about some of the other things that you do in your self-compassion program with teens? Like how do you get them to engage? Gissele: ‘Cause I don’t know if I would see a teen just sitting for hours and hours doing meditation. Karen: Sure. Yeah. Well, we don’t ask them to sit for hours and hours, you know, to practice. Karen: First of all, it’s adapted from Kristen Neff and Chris Gerner’s, mindful self-compassion class for adults. The teen class is different in that it does involve it’s much more activity based. it’s developmentally appropriate. So at the beginning of every class and there are eight classes there’s a little bit of art and it could be mindful drawing. Karen: It could be there’s one class which is. My favorite art activity, which involves playing with UBIC, which if you’re not familiar with Ubic, [00:18:00] it’s like the best slime ever. it comes from the Dr. Seuss book, Barnaby and the Ubik. But it’s, it’s just a wonderful substance and it, and it foreshadow something that we do later in the class. Karen: Each art activity foreshadows something that happens in that class. So we have a little bit of art, like 10 minutes of art at the beginning of every class. we emphasize it’s not about creating some beautiful thing that you’re gonna hang on your wall. It’s about just noticing feeling of a pin in your hand or whatever. Karen: You know, so it’s mindful activity. We have a couple of music meditations with the teens, which the teens absolutely love. We play some games. We introduce informal practices. Mostly we introduce some formal practices, but it’s mostly informal practices, which means things that you can do in the moment. Karen: So you’re starting to feel a little stressed. Notice the feeling of your feet on the floor, you know, that point of contact. and that’s because when we [00:19:00] start to feel stressed, we’re generally in our heads, we’re worrying, we’re anxious. Mm-hmm. It’s all going on in our heads. And when we bring attention to something physical, like the sensation of our feet on the floor, it can be very grounding. Karen: So mostly informal practices. So our regular class is an afterschool class, which is eight sessions, 90 minutes. We also have a school version, which is 16 different sessions, which are 45 minutes long each. Karen: And then we also have have what I’m calling drop in sessions. And this is because school counselors have told us that, you know, sometimes they don’t have a big chunk of time with kids. They have only 10 minutes or 15 minutes. So we have these drop in sessions where they could just go ahead into the class, teach this for 10 minutes, and and so they get a little bit of taste of, of what this is about, or, you know, a number of different drop-in sessions. Gissele: Hmm. [00:20:00] Thank you for sharing that. Gissele: I wanted to mention how important art and music and play are in terms of really reconnecting us with ourselves. Gissele: there’s been so much intergenerational trauma in my family and our history that I’ve had to kind of go back to basics and realize how difficult it was for me to play , how difficult it was for me to sit there and be present with myself. Gissele: Even coloring. I tried coloring and I just kind of rushed through it. Like I had an appointment and I’m like, why am I not allowing myself to be in this moment? But those opportunities, art and music, things that in the school system we haven’t always prioritized , I think is really powerful. Karen: yeah. And I think as adults we don’t play enough by any, by any means, you know? And, in fact, when we train teachers in the program we frequently hear from these adult adults that, you know, they wanna do these activities, you know, because they’re fun. [00:21:00] we need to play more, we need to have more fun, just lighthearted, play. Gissele: Yeah. I’m allowing myself to dance more and twirl more, and play more, even though I do it awkwardly. ’cause there’s always this voice in my head that is like, I have to color it perfectly. Gissele: Right? Like, which is weird because I like to think that I’m pretty compassionate with myself. But as I really am stepping up into Being more connected with my inner child, I can see those little tiny things where I’m like, oh, maybe I should have colored this nicer. Maybe this should have been inside the line. Karen: And teens have those voices also, you know, and which is why we emphasize as they’re, as they’re actually doing the art activity, we say at least several times in that 10 minute period, remember, we don’t care what this looks like. This is not about the product. Karen: It’s not about producing some beautiful thing. It’s about simply noticing, noticing what’s [00:22:00] going on. Noticing noticing the sound of the pencil on the paper. You know, is that making a sound? Notice the feeling when your hand is gripping. You know, the, the pencil is, is there a tightness in your hand? You know, so it’s all about that. Karen: It’s all about noticing, feeling, noticing the process, noticing the sensations that are going on as you’re doing the art. So we’re always emphasizing that as as they’re doing the art and even thoughts noticing, you know, you notice any thoughts coming up in your head like, oh, I don’t like this particular part of the drawing, and can you remember? Karen: That’s just a thought. And notice your thought. And as they’re learning more about the mindfulness piece in the class, will, you know, bring in that notice of thought. It’s just a thought. It doesn’t mean it’s a fact. You can let that thought drift away. Gissele: And that is so powerful. Because personally, having done [00:23:00] self-compassion practices is that you’re teaching. Gissele: reconnection . Right. With yourself, with your body, with your being, as a society, we’re so disconnected from ourselves, from other people. And to just even feel like your fingertips in your body and see how tense we are in the thoughts. Gissele: In my own practice, I’m learning to love my fear and focusing on learning to love everything, Even the challenging moments Can I truly love everything in my life or just even if I can’t, can I just accept it? Can I learn to just allow it? Gissele: And it can feel dynamic, right? So I can imagine for teenagers with their hormones that it must be quite the experience. Mm-hmm. Curious as to your perspectives around how teenagers are doing nowadays. Karen: Yeah. What I am seeing is a lot of struggle. It’s a really hard time and that’s what, you know, the statistics that we’re seeing that there’s high levels of [00:24:00] depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Karen: It’s an overwhelming world that we’re living in. I’m working on a book right now with my wonderful colleague, Marissa Knox. And this is a book for young adults and. We haven’t settled on a title yet, but we are bringing in this idea, and this is, you know, throughout the book and it’s about self-compassion for young adults. Karen: But this idea that we are living in an incredibly challenging world right now. Unbelievably challenging in so many ways, on so many levels. And we have to acknowledge that, you know, and we have to acknowledge that, that things are much harder now than they have been in decades past. And, you know, when I was a young adult, it wasn’t easy either. Karen: You know, there was a huge recession. I mean, I graduated from a good university and couldn’t get a job after, and I was waiting tables, you know, it [00:25:00] wasn’t easy then either, but but it’s a lot more difficult now, you know? The economy is, is even harder and rougher now than it was in the eighties when. Karen: Was waiting tables after graduating. And and you know, I have two young adult children and you know, I hear a lot about their lives and their friends’ lives and how hard it’s, I mean, so we have to acknowledge that. I and you know, when I’m teaching young adults and teens I always bring that in, that, you know, this isn’t your fault. Karen: That you feel all all this huge range of difficult emotions. You know, you’re living at a time when, you know things are really hard, politically, economically on the global stage, everything, you know so. To acknowledge that, to put that out there, to have that be the context in which we [00:26:00] then bring in self-compassion and we talk about how, okay, so now knowing that the world is this way, and guess what, for the moment we can’t do anything about it. Karen: We can in the long run, yes. And we’re working towards that, but right now, in the moment, we’re stuck with it. So how can we take care of ourselves? How can we support ourselves knowing that it’s rough right now and it may not be our fault that we can’t get a job or feel safe in our schools or, Gissele: yeah. Karen: All of that. Gissele: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think acknowledging is sort of the first step towards saying, okay, where is my power in this moment?Because I think it’s one of the conversations I had with my students is like, you know, in the time when you might feel so powerless, where do you have power? Even if it’s just in terms of how you determine how you feel about the situation. Gissele: Are you gonna let the situation sink you [00:27:00] down and lead you to further depression, Or are you going to choose to say. I’m gonna choose to be kind to myself. I’m gonna choose to do the best I can. I’m gonna choose to allow and do in the moment what I can. And then, you know, if I make a mistake or a trip over over the same rock, I’m gonna pick myself up and keep going. Gissele: Like, or if I can’t, I can’t. Right? So how do we practice that ’cause there’s an element of me that believes that part of the reason why we are in the situation we are in terms of the world, is because of a disconnection, because of a lack of self-compassion and self-love. Gissele: There’s a lack of love in the world in general. And we keep thinking that the way that we’re gonna approach it is have more money and be more successful and do all of these things, but it just breeds separation. Which leads to my next question of how can self-compassion help us create community? Karen: Ah, yeah, so that’s a great [00:28:00] question. Karen: Because of course, as we know, community is absolutely vital. Having community is vital. So I think you know, the first thing that comes to mind is that when we’re more self-compassionate we have less fear of failure because we know we’re not gonna beat ourselves up when we fail. If we fail at something, we’re just gonna say, you know, well, you know, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. Karen: It just means like, that didn’t work for me in, in that particular moment. How this applies to community is that we’re more likely to reach out to others, right? So if we’re not so afraid that of getting rejected by others, we’re more likely to make an attempt move out of our comfort zone and reach out and engage in a conversation with. Karen: Somebody we don’t know, for example, we’re more likely to join a community group or, you know, in the case [00:29:00] of teens, you know, sign up for some new sport or music class or whatever to engage with others more and develop that community when we’re feeling so unqualified, unworthy not enough, we’re much more likely to isolate. Karen: And so in that way you know, obviously that’s how community develops is, where we’re able to reach out and en engage with others in, you know, all different ways. Gissele: Mm. Yeah. And the other thing I found in, especially in my self-compassion practice has been that it’s led me to be more authentically myself. Gissele: Mm-hmm. And you can’t really, you can’t really allow yourself to be seen and to be loved and to find your people if you are not allowing yourself to be authentically yourself or to be vulnerable . And so I think that’s a really key aspect of self-compassion, ’cause that’s really what primarily young people want. Gissele: They just wanna be authentically themselves. But we hear all these [00:30:00] messages. I know, I heard them growing up. You know, all about how we have to look a certain way. We have to be a certain way. There’s a right answer to everything. Gissele: and so I think that’s the beauty of self-compassion, is the allowing of multiple perspectives is the allowing of differences in the discomfort. Karen: when you were talking about that, what I was thinking about was in our our teen class, we have a session where teens have the opportunity to really reflect on their core values, and we take them through a particular activity to do this so that they’re thinking about what’s really important to me, what do I really value? Karen: You know how do I wanna live my life and what are the things I wanna let go of, you know? Mm-hmm. So it’s not a conclusive activity where they get to the end and they say, okay, this is what I want. You know? But it’s an opportunity for them to really take a few moments to think about and to reflect on, you know, what do I wanna keep [00:31:00] in my life? Karen: What do I want to hold onto? What do I value and what do I, maybe wanna think about letting go of? It’s just the beginning of that conversation with themselves. Gissele: Hmm. And I love that ’cause I’ve had to do this later in my life, realizing that the things I wanted to have were based on somebody else’s perspective of what they thought I should have. Gissele: And I, I went through a really stripping of like, who am I really? And again, I, this is older, right? Like, who am I really, what do I really love? What do I really wanna do? What do I really want my life to look like? And it’s not anything that I would’ve thought would’ve fit the picture, like it’s not. Gissele: Mm-hmm. But it’s so much better . It’s so much greater, it’s so much more me. Karen: Mm-hmm. Gissele: I was curious as to whether in the program there are elements of how to deal with conflict with one another Karen: Yeah. Well we do have a session activity where we talk about conflict with parents. Mm. And, Gissele: mm-hmm. Karen: Why, first of all, [00:32:00] why that occurs. So, you know, why is that happening? And we talk about the developmental stage and the brain changes and we show this video clip actually from the movie Crudes. Karen: Yeah. Yeah. And you know, there’s a teen in there and she’s having a conflict with her dad. And the dad just wants to keep her safe and isolated and in the cave, and she wants to go out and explore. And we talk about how the dad is doing what he’s supposed to be doing, and the teen is doing what she’s supposed to be doing. Karen: Neither one of them is wrong. And yet conflict ensues because they have different objectives and what can you do when conflict ensues when this happens? And so first of all, just having that awareness that, this dad’s not trying to be mean and horrible. Karen: He’s just trying to keep his kids safe. And sort of having that awareness and then how self-compassion can support you because when you’re [00:33:00] supporting yourself in that way, you can add through mindfulness also. You can regulate your emotions and which is the first step, you know? Karen: Well awareness is the first step. That would be the second step. And then get to a place where you can actually. Talk about what’s going on and acknowledge what the other person wants and needs also. Gissele: Hmm. Yeah. I I love that you brought the movie up, the crudes. ’cause what I, remember you know, they both the daughter and the father push each other, right? Gissele: they push each other to grow and learn. And I wanted to emphasize as well for my listeners about something that you just said, which is really important, which is dealing with Gissele: conflict. the first part is always awareness. It’s like awareness of how am I feeling? What am I, what am I thinking? You know, what’s happening in my body. And the second one is being able to hold space for those difficult feelings , right? Validating our feelings, holding space for those difficult feelings, having compassion for ourselves so that then we can have [00:34:00] compassion for other people’s, even if their perspective’s completely different, like differ from our own. Gissele: And so I think that’s the, the beauty of self-compassion is that it helps us have compassion for ourselves and other people. Sometimes the, as they called the disliked person, mm-hmm. But it really does start with the awareness because I feel like we don’t really know how to have conversations with people anymore. Gissele: There’s like this global canceling that happens because I think we are just so overwhelmed by our own emotions and we haven’t really been. At least some generations haven’t really been taught the social emotional part of, regulating our emotions so that we can then do the work of listening. Gissele: And you know, when I think about listening, I think about the work of Valerie Kaur who talks about revolutionary love. And she says, you know, listening, if you’re truly listening, you have to be willing to change Mm-hmm. Karen: Mm-hmm. Gissele: And that that’s can feel difficult. [00:35:00] It can, Karen: yeah. Karen: I think that’s, I I think you hit on a really important and very big issue which is that there isn’t a lot of listening going on. You know, there really isn’t. You know, there might be people sitting there waiting for the other person to finish talking so that they can say their piece. Right? Gissele: Yeah. Karen: But, of course, when you’re really listening, that’s not what’s going on. When you’re really listening, you’re open and willing to change your mind. So yes, that’s certainly part of this whole, you know, the program at the very beginning, in our first class, we have a piece called Community Agreements where we all agree on how the class is going to proceed. Karen: And one of the things is deep listening. Really listening, without that judging voice, you know, put that judging voice aside as much as possible. [00:36:00] Gissele: And that takes practice. Karen: Yes, Gissele: it does. Karen: It absolutely does. Gissele: often we go straight to judgment instead of professing observations. The other thing I wanted to mention was listening to the voices of young people is so important, which is why I think also your work is so phenomenal . Historically, we have not viewed young people’s voices as important as adult voices, or especially the voices of, of young children. Gissele: What are your thoughts about our ability to be able to listen to young people and collaborate with them in a way that makes them feel involved? ’cause I know I, that’s, I didn’t feel that way when I was young. Gissele: Young people were not invited to sit at the table with the adults to talk about adult things and talk about the world, How can we, emphasize more listening to young people? Karen: Yeah. It’s interesting. I too remember being a teen and clearly thinking, you know what, I know what I’m talking about here. Karen: I have ideas. Gissele: Yeah. Karen: You know, [00:37:00] and I actually did have the opportunity as a teen to be on an adult board of, mm-hmm. Of a nonprofit organization. It was a theater organization that we were involved with. and it was a great opportunity, we need to hear teen’s, voices, you know, we need to hear what they have to say. Karen: That doesn’t mean thatwe’re going to make decisions based on everything that they say or, because obviously we’ve been on the planet for longer and we have a certain amount of wisdom coming from our experience, but truly they know what they need and giving them the opportunity to talk about it and to express it and to listen. Karen: You know, I think what teens want more than anything is really to be listened to. Is to be heard. And maybe that’s what we all want more than every [00:38:00] anything is to be heard. Right. Particularly in the teen years, it’s really the first time when they are aware that they have some opinions and values and things to contribute to the conversation. Karen: And as adults I think it’s our responsibility to listen and to hear their input Gissele: Yeah. Karen: As much as we can again, that doesn’t mean we’re gonna make decisions based on, what they suggest. I remember my daughter as a 15-year-old, went through a stage where she just felt like she didn’t need to wear her seatbelt in the car. Karen: And I was like that’s not happening. Like, now I Gissele: got Karen: this. Nope. Gissele: Yeah. Karen: No. Gissele: Mm-hmm. Karen: So it doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t mean we go with everything that they, that they wanna do by any stretch, but, but to listen, I think is important. Gissele: Yeah. And they, that’s a great example. I’m curious as to her perspective as to why she felt in [00:39:00] that moment she didn’t need seat belts anymore. Karen: You know, I can ask her. I don’t remember. I think she was just exercising herperceived right. as an individual, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Obviously when it comes to safety, you know, we have to, Gissele: there’s a history there as to how we got seat belts. Gissele: Yeah. And so engaging in that conversation as you were talking, I was thinking about the generations and how sometimes it’s difficult for parents to hear the perspectives of their young people. if it, ignites shame and guilt, right. I’ve had conversations with my parents about the impact of my childhood and there’s been lots of like deflecting because it was difficult for them to hold some of these things that I was claiming. Gissele: And I’ve been on the other end as well in terms of like my children when they say stuff and you’re like, I hurt you. And so being able to apologize for me has been really important as a parent to emphasize to my kids that I’m not perfect. You know, we’re, Karen: we’re winging it out here [00:40:00] Gissele: and, and how much forgiveness and how much apologizing needs to happen and how much communication needs to happen when mistakes are made on both sides, right? Gissele: Mm-hmm. And how sometimes those mistakes and those conversations bring us closer together . But I can relate to my parents’ experience ’cause we all wanna be. At least from my perspective, I wanna be a good mom. I wanna be a loving parent. I wanna be the best parent that I can be. Gissele: And sometimes despite your best intense, you make mistakes. you hurt them. you do things like maybe that are based on your own fear. And so I find the practice of self-compassion really helps me be kind to myself and so that I can listen to that feedback and say, you know what? Gissele: I’m gonna sit with this. But it can feel difficult. Gissele: self-compassion really helped me sit with those difficult feelings because I wasn’t judging myself. A bad parent. Karen: yeah. You know, I think being a parent has been so good for my self and compassion practice just because of [00:41:00] everything that you said. Karen: My daughters are now 31 and 33, and you know, of course I made lots and lots of mistakes, I was one of those moms that I prioritized being a good mom. It was so important to me, you know, to be a good mom. And yet I made mistakes. And recently even I, maybe, I don’t know, six, eight months ago I was talking to my older daughter and there was something that I did when she was a teen that I felt, you know, I wish I could have. Karen: Not done what I did. And I felt really bad about what I did. And I, you know, I was talking to her about it and I said, I’m so sorry that I, put my foot down. I know what you really needed was a big hug. I wish I had, you know, done it differently. And she said, you know, mom, don’t worry about it. Karen: You can let that go. You know, I’m fine, But it helped me, first of all to be able to say that. And I think I was able to say that part at least in part, if not, [00:42:00] if not solely because of my self-compassion practice. And I think part of what self-compassion does for us is, is to remind us that we don’t have to be perfect and we’re not going to be any way. Karen: We’re not going to be perfect. We’re gonna make mistakes. So can we forgive ourselves? Gissele: Yeah. Karen: When we make mistakes, you know? And then if we can, and if it’s appropriate or if we want to or whatever, go to that person, you know, like go to our kid and say, look, I am really sorry that I did that and at the time I thought that was best. Karen: And now I see that’s not what you needed. Yeah. And I’m really sorry. Gissele: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s so interesting, and I think it’s important for us to have this conversation for two reasons. Number one is we think we have to be perfect at being compassionate or none at all. Gissele: none of us are perfect. And I think that’s the problem . We expect ourselves to be truly compassionate, the pinnacle of love [00:43:00] and really just, can you just be a little bit better than yesterday? That’s all that requires. Can you be a little bit more loving? Can you be a little bit more kind? Gissele: That’s all that is really required. And the second thing, which I think you emphasize, which is so important, It’s that we think that being compassionate, it’s gonna be like, well, I’m just gonna, allow my crappy behavior. It is so difficult to be loving and compassionate towards yourself when you don’t feel you deserve it. And what I found in my own practice is it actually enabled me to sit. More. Gissele: With all those aspects that I didn’t like about myself, the more that I was compassionate with myself, I didn’t let myself off the hook, I was able to see how my behavior could have been hurtful , was able to see how there was times when I wasn’t living my values, but if I hadn’t been compassionate, I would’ve deflected. Gissele: I would’ve like invalidated. I would’ve been like, no, no. It’s their problem. It’s not me. And so this is why the practice of compassion is so important, especially starting younger. [00:44:00] So a few more questions. I say youngest that you have done work on it. And are there groups that are helping our, really young people practice compassion? Karen: Yeah, absolutely. So I work with teens and as young as 11 or so. Gissele: Mm. Karen: There are people who work with younger, with younger kids. My colleague Jamie Lynn Tartera works with kids age about seven to 10 or so. And then my colleague Catherine Lovewell in the UK works with kids who are younger and she has a wonderful book out and stuffed animals and and all this really wonderful wonderful stuff for younger kids. Karen: And it’s just adorable. I have some of her things right here. I know you’re not gonna be able to see it over audio, but some of her, so these are her [00:45:00] stuffies that go with her, with her. I like Gissele: the rainbow one. Karen: Yeah. Well, this is actually, so her book is about the inner critic and Yeah, this is Crusher, which is your inner critic, and this is Booster. Karen: Who is your self-compassionate. So the Rainbow Guide is, oh, that’s beautiful, but she just has an unbelievably wonderful program. So yes, there are people working with younger kids and yeah, it’s so important to start early. Gissele: Thanks. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. But I absolutely appreciate that you’re working with teens ’cause that can be a difficult population, but definitely, definitely needed. Gissele: I think sometimes we make it more acceptable to do those kinds of things, like self-compassion, self-kindness practices with young kids, and then for some reason it just kind of drops off the face of the earth and we’re not continuing that practice. So I think it’s wonderful that you are doing that work. Gissele: Two more questions. I’m asking all of my, guests what their definition of self-love is. Karen: Definition of [00:46:00] self-love accepting yourself for who you are. Gissele: Mm-hmm. Karen: With all your so-called challenges and securities. Because really that’s, that’s what makes us who we are, is the whole package. Karen: You know, the things we like about ourselves and the things we’re not as comfortable with about ourselves and when we can. And you used this word earlier, which I think is, is really great. Allow the word allow when we can allow those parts of ourselves to be there, to be present and to accept them. Karen: Say, you know what, you know, I’m not the most patient person in the world. I know that about myself. And you know what? It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not gonna be perfect and I’m not gonna be good at everything. I. And that’s okay. It’s okay not to be good at everything. So I, you know, my definition of self-love would be [00:47:00] just to, you know, be able to allow all those parts of your, of yourself, you know, to be present and to be there and maybe eventually move towards embracing them. Gissele: Hmm. I love that. So last question. Where can people work with you? Where can they find you? Where can they find your books? Please share. Karen: there’s two websites. There’s my website, which is my name http://www.karenbluth.com. And so you’ll find out about me about my work. On that website, we have a new website, which I really would like to promote. Karen: it’s a website, for teens teens, and that’s http://www.self-compassionforteens.org. And self-compassion is hyphenated. And so that is a recent website that we’ve just launched in the last couple of months which has all kinds of resources for teens, videos, short videos about explaining what self-compassion [00:48:00] is, you know, what the inner critic is, how can we deal with the inner critic. Karen: There’s there’s a quiz on there. See how self-compassionate you are. There’s video, there’s some videos that. Teams who have learned taken our courses, have talked about their experience with self-compassion. And then there’s section about taking a deeper dive. Anyway, I really would like teens everywhere to, to know about this website and have access to it. Karen: And it’s a great place to start to learn about how to be nicer to yourself. Gissele: Beautiful. There’ll be a link on our site. So thank you very much, Karen, for coming on the show and sharing your wisdom with us and for the work that you’re doing, which is so, so important and so needed at this time. And thank you for everyone that tuned into another episode of Love and Compassion Podcast with Gissele. Gissele: See you soon.

Send us a textReady to quiet the inner critic and lead with calm, clear compassion? Camille shares seven practical, low-lift rules that help you navigate motherhood, work, and ambition without drowning in guilt. From a relatable parking lot moment of chaos to research-backed reframes, you'll learn how to shift your self-talk, set humane goals, and build systems that support a kinder day.We start with a perspective flip: imagine your sixty‑year‑old self coaching you through today's mess with tenderness and wisdom. That lens turns judgment into empathy and opens the door to Rule 1, embracing your uniqueness and learning curve. Then we move into what you can actually control. Let go of outcomes like potty training timelines or teen sleep cycles, and redirect energy toward your choices—your tone, your plan, and your next small step. Camille shows how listing strengths, pairing them with gratitude, and celebrating tiny wins can regulate stress and reinforce progress.You'll also hear how focused priorities and simple prep rituals make compassion easier to practice. Two or three daily priorities beat a bloated to‑do list, and a five‑minute nightly review reduces morning chaos. We spotlight Kristen Neff's best‑friend reframe—swap rigid identity statements for kind intentions you can act on today. The result is a realistic, repeatable approach to self-compassion that works in carpools, conference calls, and everything in between.Choose one starting point: name three strengths, schedule two gentle goals, or plan tomorrow in five minutes. Then tell us how it goes. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a softer inner voice, and leave a quick review to help more women find practical tools for a kinder life.Connect with Camille Walker:Follow Camille on Instagram: www.instagram.com/CamilleWalker.coFollow Call Me CEO on Instagram: www.instagram.com/callmeceopodcastMyMommyStyle.comSubscribe to Call Me CEO for more episodes! Email: callmeceopodcast@gmail.com

In this series opener, Lisa shares a pivotal shift in her work and identity—from offering high-level insights to teaching the deeper foundations behind why her approach creates lasting change. Drawing from her doctoral studies and lived experience, Lisa introduces this new series that explores self-compassion (both tender and fierce), discipline through doing less, intentional weight loss, intuitive living, and spiritual intelligence. Lisa weaves her personal journey from depression and hopelessness to resilience, energy, and gratitude, while reframing diet culture as a disconnection from the mind-body-soul relationship that fuels self-neglect and struggle. This episode lays the foundation for understanding intuitive eating as a byproduct of intuitive living and self-trust as the key to sustainable transformation.Topics Include:Intuitive LivingEmotional Resilience Self-CompassionReparenting[0:32] Lisa announces that the podcast will now be released weekly on Mondays instead of every other week, driven by inspiration and positive listener feedback. She explains that future episodes will expand on topics like discipline, self-compassion, intentional weight loss, and psychic abilities.[05:31] Lisa reflects on a past period of deep depression, contrasting it with her current state of energy and happiness. - She now experiences a genuine gratitude for life that she previously couldn't connect with, offering hope to listeners who may be struggling. [10:11] Lisa talks about how the most harmful impact of diet culture is not just its effect on our relationship with food, but the severing of the connection between mind, body, and soul. Lisa talks about how diet culture teaches people to ignore their body's signals, leading to a habitual disconnection from the self. She discusses that it conditions individuals to see themselves merely as a physical body, ignoring their spiritual dimension. Lisa explains that true healing requires reconnecting the mind and body to allow the soul's intuition to emerge and intuitive eating is a result of intuitive living.[32:39] Lisa theorizes that people who use food to cope are often highly empathic and energetically sensitive. She talks about how food serves as a numbing agent for overwhelming internal and external energy. Lisa shares her personal experience of feeling naked and extremely vulnerable after losing 150 pounds. She describes a visceral feeling of self-trust and the ability to protect oneself energetically, which made her realize she no longer needed excess body weight as a shield.[45:40] Lisa reframes intentional weight loss as a spiritual journey and how the commitment to this process builds self-trust. She identifies self-compassion as the secret sauce for her newfound sense of safety and strength. Lisa discusses the three step self-compassion practice as explained by Kristen Neff: mindfulness, shared humanity, and kindness. She encourages listeners to visit her website for resources as well as the Out of the Cave website for meditations. [1:00:46] Lisa explains that the purpose is not to eliminate pain but to sit with it without making it worse through self-criticism. Lisa offers an optional homework assignment of practicing the three steps on a minor issue that is a 3 or 4 out of 10 on an emotional discomfort scale. [1:25:19] Lisa closes this episode by explaining that if this resonated with anyone, they can contact her to explore working together one-on-one with her. *The views of podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs of Lisa Schlosberg or Out of the Cave, LLC.LISA IS NOW ACCEPTING: One-on-One Clients!⁠Purchase the OOTC book of 50 Journal Prompts⁠⁠Leave Questions and Feedback for Lisa via OOTC Pod Feedback Form ⁠Email Lisa: ⁠lisa@lisaschlosberg.com⁠⁠Out of the Cave Merch⁠ - For 10% off use code SCHLOS10Lisa's Socials: Instagram⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠

Dr. Alexandra's conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff is all about self-compassion, an essential tool for your emotional well-being toolkit (and that's scientifically proven!). Dr. Kristen Neff, a trailblazer in the field of self-compassion research, introduces the three foundational pillars of self-compassion, illustrating how integrating all three of these elements empowers individuals to confront their inner critic and cultivate healthier connections.   The discussion delves into the biological and family of origin influences that shape our self-criticism, while also addressing the grief that may surface when embarking on a self-compassion journey.  You will also learn about Fierce Self-Compassion, and how we can lean into this action-oriented facet to be ambitious and to fulfill our life's purpose.You'll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of the three pillars of self-compassion and their impact on relationships. Insights into how practising self-compassion can cultivate self-love, foster connection, enhance intimacy, and reduce anxiety, shame, and isolationA new perspective on some common myths of self-compassion, such as:Are self-compassion and self-esteem the same thing? Is “self-compassion” just “self-pity” rebranded? Does practising self-compassion encourage people to not take personal accountability?Does embracing self-compassion mean we can't be ambitious or want to come in first place?Strategies for integrating self-compassion into your routine, with a simple starting point that Dr. Kristin Neff herself practices dailyResources worth mentioning from the episode:Learn more about Dr. Kristin Neff and Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/Join the Self-Compassion Community: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-community/Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/fierce-self-compassion-how-to-harness-kindness-to-speak-up-claim-your-power-and-thrive-dr-kristin-neff/76d3f59a98e08da8?ean=9780062991065&next=tSelf-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/self-compassion-the-proven-power-of-being-kind-to-yourself-dr-kristin-neff/a22f80fa1a9efa3b?ean=9780061733529&next=tManaging Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra's newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's Organize October here on the podcast! In this episode, I'm getting into the time management, scheduling & planning methods that I've finally figured out and that actually work for me. I'll be taking you through my notebook system, time tracking, index card daily and weekly planning, time blocking method, notes app organizing and idea capturing. It's a LOT. If you want to join the Patreon at 31% off an annual or monthly membership click here and use code: 14B85 Show Notes: 15% Off Appointed Notebooks/Planners/Pens use code JENKIRKMAN at checkout 20% off Fierce Self Compassion by Kristen Neff 20% off Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman 20% off Essentialism by Greg McKeown 15% off Weighted Eye Mask from Kitsch Jen's Monthly Action Club Just $19.99 You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial You Are A Lot Podcast Website Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: “This Is A Lot” Follow Jen's ADHD/AuDHD Tips on Pinterest 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus! Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com Sources Used: ADHD Time Mgmt Tips - Exceptional Individuals Time Trackers For ADHD - Reddit Benefits of Time Tracking - Timing Blog Understanding The Science of Time - Ari Tuckman Video

Have you ever noticed that you tend to get sick right after a stressful period, like finishing a big project or navigating emotional upheaval? In this episode of Wisdom for Wellbeing, Dr. Kaitlin explores the science behind self-compassion and how somatic practices (like soothing touch, breathwork, and gentle movement)can reduce stress, boost vagal tone, and support immune function. Drawing on psychoneuroimmunology and Dr. Kristen Neff's three components of self-compassion (mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness), she explains practical, embodied steps to interrupt the stress-illness cycle and cultivate resilience. You'll learn: How chronic stress and self-criticism impact immune function Why cultivating compassion and body-based awareness can buffer against illness The link between vagal tone, emotional regulation, and immune resilience Somatic practices to gently support your nervous system when you feel run down or overwhelmed Dr. Kaitlin also shares a personal story about preparing for the upcoming book launch and having to lean on the very tools we teach when things didn't go as planned. If you've ever wondered how emotions “get under the skin,” this episode will help you understand the science behind self-compassion and how tending to your body's signals can nurture both mental and physical wellbeing.   Resources & Links:

Text me your feedback.To wrap up the 4-part series on practices and teachings that nature open-heartedness, we're focusing on self-compassion. We can be our own worst critics, but the wisdom teachings want us to remember that compassion shouldn also be directed towards ourselves. We are, after all, manifestations of the divine. So, in this episode we look at what Buddhism, Yoga, and Taoism have to say about self-compassion (which - spoiler - isn't much!) through the lens of moderation, non-harming, and cultivating contentment. We also take a look at what modern psychology research - primarily by Dr. Kristen Neff - has to say about the benefits of self-compassion. Jen also answers a listener question about how to get started with Buddhist practice before sharing a bit of context behind the two yin yoga micro-practices she's sharing in October. Resources Mentioned on the ShowSelf-compassion.org ~ hosted by Dr. Kristen NeffSelf-compassion exercises: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/Buddha ~ by Karen ArmstrongSiddharta ~ by Herman HesseBuddhism: A Concise Introduction ~ by Huston Smith & Philip NovakEssential Buddhism: A Complete Guide to Beliefs and Practices ~ by Jack MaquireThe Heart of the Buddha's Teachings ~ by Thich Nhat HanhBhavana Society Meditation CenterPlum Village Practice CentersPlum Village Meditation GroupsMindfulness in Plain English ~ by Bante GunaratanaDharmaseed~ ~ ~SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) We begin with about 7-8 minutes of developing concentration, becoming more settled and less distracted. We then explore the impermanence in several ways, noticing the arising, staying and changing, and passing away with (1) sounds, (2) body sensations, and (3) the open flow of experience (about 2 minutes). Then there is a period of mindfulness practice with the additional instruction of looking out for a moderate or strong sense of self. We close with a short period of a heart practice such as lovingkindness or compassion; brief instructions are given for self-compassion practice (as developed by Kristen Neff).

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) We begin with about 7-8 minutes of developing concentration, becoming more settled and less distracted. We then explore the impermanence in several ways, noticing the arising, staying and changing, and passing away with (1) sounds, (2) body sensations, and (3) the open flow of experience (about 2 minutes). Then there is a period of mindfulness practice with the additional instruction of looking out for a moderate or strong sense of self. We close with a short period of a heart practice such as lovingkindness or compassion; brief instructions are given for self-compassion practice (as developed by Kristen Neff).

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) We begin with about 7-8 minutes of developing concentration, becoming more settled and less distracted. We then explore the impermanence in several ways, noticing the arising, staying and changing, and passing away with (1) sounds, (2) body sensations, and (3) the open flow of experience (about 2 minutes). Then there is a period of mindfulness practice with the additional instruction of looking out for a moderate or strong sense of self. We close with a short period of a heart practice such as lovingkindness or compassion; brief instructions are given for self-compassion practice (as developed by Kristen Neff).

In this Patreon Only episode: I give advice (and information backed by neuroscience and trauma informed experts) to a Patreon subscriber who wrote a question in the chat community. The themes in this question are so relatable to us ADHD/AuDHD humans like; feeling overwhelmed when we finally have time to ourselves, freezing when it's time to make a decision, struggling to know what we actually want in the short-term and long-term; feeling ashamed about all of that, and having trouble asking for help.   SHOW NOTES: You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus! Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: “This Is A Lot” Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com 15% Off HUGIMALS weighted stuffed animals with code JENKIRKMAN Jen's Book Recommendations With 20% Off   SOURCES USED: Dr. Russell Barkley - ADHD researcher and author  Pete Walker - CPTSD expert/psychologist  Dr. Sharon Saline  Leanne Maskell – ADHD coach and author  Dr. William Dodson – Psychiatrist and ADHD expert  Psychology Today: “Why Some People With ADHD Refuse To Ask For Help”  20% Off Book:  Smart But Stuck by Dr. Thomas E. Brown  20% Off Book: The ADHD Productivity Manual, by Ari Tuckman  20% Off Book: The Joy Reset: 6 Ways Trauma Steals Happiness & How To Win It Back by Mary Catherine McDonald, PhD 20% Off Book: Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff, PhD 20% Off Book: Healing the Shame That Binds You, by John Bradshaw

Hey everyone—We're diving into a topic that gets tossed around a lot but rarely unpacked in a way that actually matters: self-care. If you've ever felt confused or overwhelmed by what self-care really is (and isn't), this is for you. In this episode, we unpack the myths, call out the cultural noise, and get real about what it truly means to care for yourself, especially during midlife.We talk about the difference between real self-care and the performative kind, and how embodying your values, setting boundaries, and nurturing self-compassion can actually refill your tank. We're sharing personal practices, therapeutic insights, and a whole lot of laughter as we redefine what it means to be replenished. It's not spa days and wine nights (though, we won't judge if you enjoy those too!). Get ready to reframe self-care in a way that truly supports the life you're trying to build. Episode Highlights:[0:02] - Welcome back + intro to real self-care vs. cultural hype. [1:13] - Why “self-care” can feel like a loaded or empty word. [2:06] - Breaking down faux self-care and the influence of marketing. [4:28] - The truth about performing femininity and hustle culture. [7:45] - Defining escapism vs. true replenishment. [10:40] - Tuning into your inner needs and building self-awareness. [12:44] - Real self-care is simple: boundaries, balance, connection. [14:59] - The power of self-compassion and Kristen Neff's work. [18:41] - Our own self-care routines and mindsets. [24:17] - The role of creativity and play in replenishment. [29:22] - Why unstructured time is essential. [30:27] - Struggles with attention and learning to do one thing at a time. [31:06] - Rediscovering the joy and nourishment of reading. [32:24] - Final reflections + practical takeaways. Resources:Midlife Master Class Waitlist: insightsfromthecouch.orgKristen Neff's Self-Compassion Work: self-compassion.org Make sure to visit the “Resources” page on our website www.insightsfromthecouch.org to download the worksheet and take ways that accompany each episode. This is hugely important as we are now creating a download that is unique to each episode and working hard to create an email list to support our programming offerings moving forward. 

In this episode I discuss the importance of self-compassion and break down three core components based on the research of Dr. Kristen Neff–self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. I'll also share practical tools to help you build a more accepting and supportive relationship with yourself.    If you've ever struggled with harsh self-talk or felt alone in your challenges, this episode offers gentle guidance to help you meet yourself with more kindness and care. In this episode you will learn: What self-compassion truly means and why it matters The difference between compassion and kindness The three core components of self-compassion Practical self-compassion tools you can start using today Anchor phrases that help you speak to yourself with a loving tone How cultivating self-compassion can lead to deeper personal growth and a more compassionate world - What anchor phrase landed with you the most? I'd love to know. Feel free to get in touch via email at hello@worthwild.co.nz or slide into my DM's on Instagram. If you are regularly tuning into the podcast and getting value from it, you can rate the show on Spotify or leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way more people can find us and our community can grow. Your support here does not go unnoticed!  Want to join the next round of Lighthouse? Find out more here. Let's Connect: Instagram - @worthwild.co Facebook - Worthwild Subscribe to the newsletter - https://www.worthwild.co.nz/what's-the-tea

Listen as host Amy Rodquist-Kodet, a health coach with UK HR Health and Wellness, as she guides listeners through a powerful exploration of mental health stigma. Drawing on research from experts like Kristen Neff and Chris Germer, Amy delves into how stigma impacts our inner thoughts, personal relationships and broader communities. This episode offers practical, research-based tools for cultivating self-compassion, providing supportive presence to others and speaking up to challenge societal narratives around mental health, ultimately aiming to build a world where vulnerability is embraced and healing is safe.

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) We begin with some guidance on developing samadhi (concentration) and stability, followed by practicing developing samadhi. After about 10 minutes developing samadhi, we move to mindfulness practice. After about another 10 minutes of practice, we then inquire into some of the emotions and thoughts that have been present recently, whether difficult or joyful, related to the current state of the society and world. We first relive a recent experience and then bring mindfulness to the somatic, emotional, and mental dimensions of experience. While staying silent, we also have a sense of being in community and sharing our experience. We then work with Kristen Neff's three-step self-compassion practice (shifting to a three-step joy or mudita practice if the experiences have been more positive).

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) We begin with some guidance on developing samadhi (concentration) and stability, followed by practicing developing samadhi. After about 10 minutes developing samadhi, we move to mindfulness practice. After about another 10 minutes of practice, we then inquire into some of the emotions and thoughts that have been present recently, whether difficult or joyful, related to the current state of the society and world. We first relive a recent experience and then bring mindfulness to the somatic, emotional, and mental dimensions of experience. While staying silent, we also have a sense of being in community and sharing our experience. We then work with Kristen Neff's three-step self-compassion practice (shifting to a three-step joy or mudita practice if the experiences have been more positive).

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) We begin with some guidance on developing samadhi (concentration) and stability, followed by practicing developing samadhi. After about 10 minutes developing samadhi, we move to mindfulness practice. After about another 10 minutes of practice, we then inquire into some of the emotions and thoughts that have been present recently, whether difficult or joyful, related to the current state of the society and world. We first relive a recent experience and then bring mindfulness to the somatic, emotional, and mental dimensions of experience. While staying silent, we also have a sense of being in community and sharing our experience. We then work with Kristen Neff's three-step self-compassion practice (shifting to a three-step joy or mudita practice if the experiences have been more positive).

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) After about 25 minutes of lightly guided practice, to settle with concentration and/or mindfulness practice, we explore in several ways some of the emotions and thoughts that have been present related to the current state of the society and world. We first relive a recent experience and then bring mindfulness to the somatic, emotional, and mental dimensions of experience. We then work with Kristen Neff's three-step self-compassion practice, leading to developing intentions for how to practice with such experiences in the future.

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) After about 25 minutes of lightly guided practice, to settle with concentration and/or mindfulness practice, we explore in several ways some of the emotions and thoughts that have been present related to the current state of the society and world. We first relive a recent experience and then bring mindfulness to the somatic, emotional, and mental dimensions of experience. We then work with Kristen Neff's three-step self-compassion practice, leading to developing intentions for how to practice with such experiences in the future.

(Spirit Rock Meditation Center) After about 25 minutes of lightly guided practice, to settle with concentration and/or mindfulness practice, we explore in several ways some of the emotions and thoughts that have been present related to the current state of the society and world. We first relive a recent experience and then bring mindfulness to the somatic, emotional, and mental dimensions of experience. We then work with Kristen Neff's three-step self-compassion practice, leading to developing intentions for how to practice with such experiences in the future.

In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra highlights the crucial role of self-compassion in achieving success, using Serena Williams as an example of how elite performers embrace setbacks with kindness rather than self-criticism.   Drawing on Dr. Kristen Neff's research, Dr. Cindra outlines three key elements of self-compassion: self-kindness, recognizing common humanity, and practicing mindfulness. By making self-compassion a habit, you can bounce back stronger, reduce stress, and enhance performance.    Power Phrase this Week: “I am kind to myself. I am doing the best I can. I got it next time!”   Quote of the Week: "Self-compassion is not a luxury; it's a necessity for growth. Embracing our imperfections is what helps us rise stronger." — Kristin Neff

In this episode, we explore the vital concept of self-compassion, specifically tailored for therapists. Learn about why self-compassion prevents burnout and compassion fatigue, backed by research studies from pioneers like Kristen Neff and Mark Leary. Discover simple, practical yoga-based self-compassion exercises to integrate into both personal self-care routines and therapy sessions with clients. "The more we do these, the more we are changing our neural pathways to move towards more self-compassion. It's going to take some time, so give yourself grace.”The Importance of Self-Compassion for TherapistsDefining Self-CompassionSelf-Compassion Practices for TherapistsSelf-Compassion ExercisesConnect With MeInstagram: @chris_mcdonald58Facebook: Yoga In The Therapy PodcastJoin the private Facebook Group: Bringing Yoga Into the Therapy RoomTikTok: @YogaChris58Rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, and SpotifyHow To Build Competence and Confidence in Integrating Yoga Into the Therapy RoomSelf-Care for the Counselor: A Companion Workbook: An Easy to Use Workbook to Support you on Your Holistic Healing and Counselor Self-Care Journey ... A Holistic Guide for Helping Professionals)Claim your 30-Day Aura Guest Pass from Chris McDonald

Here I offer a guided meditation designed to cultivate a quality of self-compassion. Drawing on the work of Dr. Kristen Neff, we are invited to explore a challenging situation with Kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness. Meditation can be challenging at times. Occasionally we may experience things which surprise as a result. If you have any questions or concerns in regards to this, or other meditation practices, please feel free to message me through my website: www.suchsweetthunder.org I have been practicing meditation for 39 years and has been successfully teaching meditation worldwide since 2009, giving talks, facilitating retreats, and have authored two books. I have received formal training in Theravada, Mahayana (Tibetan, Zen,) and Vedanta meditation techniques as well as Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness, MBSR, Neuroplasticity, Non-Violent Communication, and Buddhist Psychology. I teach from a secular voice and I am passionate about bringing timeless wisdom teachings to people of any faith, belief system, or tradition. If you find these podcasts helpful please consider making a donation: PayPal.me/suchsweetthunder May All Benefit

In this insightful conversation, Chris Germer talks about his journey in discovering and co-creating mindful self-compassion with Kristen Neff.   Chris shares his personal struggles with anxiety, shame and public speaking, and how practicing loving-kindness meditation transformed his experiences of fear and shame.   He discusses the complementary roles of self-compassion and mindfulness in managing intense emotions, describing the three key components: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.   We also explore the application of self-compassion in preventing burnout and enhancing caregiving, and discuss strategies for fostering compassion within organizations.   The conversation concludes with a guided self-compassion practice led by Chris, offering a practical tool for integrating these insights into daily life.     00:00 Introduction and Welcome   00:26 Discovering Self-Compassion   01:44 Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety   06:55 The Role of Self-Compassion in Mindfulness   09:46 Components of Mindful Self-Compassion   13:59 Applying Self-Compassion in Daily Life   18:12 Self-Compassion for Caregivers and Burnout   22:49 Building a Compassionate Organization   29:04 Practical Advice for Difficult Times   36:46 Future Directions and New Projects   44:38 Guided Self-Compassion Practice   58:26 Closing Remarks  

In this week's episode Dr Jodi speaks with Dr Kristen Neff on self-compassion. Dr. Kristen Neff is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas, she has written numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic of self Compassion and has been recognized as one of the most influential scholars in the field of psychology. Well over 5000 studies have been conducted on self-compassion by various scholars since her seminal articles were first published in 2003. ABOUT JODI: Jodi is a speaker, educator, and bestselling author specialising in anxiety and well-being. Learn more: https://drjodirichardson.com. Order Jodi's book, "Anxious Mums: How mums can turn their anxiety into strength": https://drjodirichardson.com/product/anxious-mums/ or https://amzn.to/2YtA3ks. CONNECT WITH JODI: Connect with Jodi on LinkedIn Follow Jodi on InstagramLike Jodi's Facebook page Well, Hello Anxiety is a Positive Media Podcast. The information provided on this Podcast is for general educational purposes only, and is to be used at your sole risk. We are not liable for any reliance on this information, and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Feeling burned out? Join Dr. Kristen Neff as she guides us through a calming practice to bring kindness and support to ourselves during tough times.How to Do This Practice: Sit in a quiet, comfortable space, close your eyes if you wish, and take deep breaths to center yourself. Observe how you're feeling—physically and emotionally—without judgment. Acknowledge your struggle: This is hard. Burnout is a natural human response to stress. Offer yourself kindness. Imagine a compassionate voice saying: I'm here for you, you're doing your best, you're loved just as you are. Let these words fill you with warmth and calm. When ready, open your eyes and bring this renewed energy into your day. Today's Happiness Break Guide:Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.More Happiness Breaks like this one:The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8Take a Break With Our Loving-Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5We'd love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/485y3b4y

In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of self-compassion and why true change stems from self-love rather than self-hatred. Drawing on Kristen Neff's three pillars of self-compassion—mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness—we explore how criticism impacts the brain, raising danger signals that dysregulate the nervous system and contribute to anxiety, depression, and chronic pain. Learn practical tools to calm your inner critic, rewire your brain, and embrace growth with grace and self-acceptance. Ali's Resources:  Consults with Ali  BIOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough 10% off using code ALIDAMRON10 www.alidamron.com/magnesium Master Your Perimenopause Course + Toolkit "Am I in Perimenopause?" Checklist.  What Hormone is Imbalanced? Quiz! Fullscript (Get 10% off all supplements) "How To Balance Your Hormones For Better Sleep, Mood, Periods and Energy" Free, On Demand Training Website  Ali's Instagram Ali's Facebook Group: Holistic Health with Ali Damron 

In this episode of The Unhooked Podcast, host Jeremy Lipkowitz shares an impactful realization from a recent coaching session—emphasizing that you are not alone in your recovery journey. Discussing the profound effects of recognizing shared struggles in addiction, Jeremy explains how feelings of isolation exacerbate addiction and hinders recovery. He highlights the concept of 'common humanity' by Kristen Neff and explores two key reasons why connecting with this truth can aid in overcoming addiction: reducing shame and inspiring hope for recovery. Jeremy also discusses the power of community and collective effort in cultivating a better, value-driven life. Tune in for insights on how recognizing you're not alone can transform your recovery path.------------Interested in joining the Unhooked Academy Group Program? Sign up for a free call:https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Looking for a self-led journey with the Unhooked Online Course:https://jeremylipkowitz.mykajabi.com/unhookedInterested in personal  1:1 coaching? Click here: https://www.jeremylipkowitz.com/introConnect with me on Social:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JeremyLipkowitz------ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWITZJeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master's degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.Shownotes:00:00 Introduction to The Unhooked Podcast00:19 The Power of Knowing You're Not Alone01:44 The Pain of Isolation and Its Impact on Addiction05:35 Understanding Common Humanity07:55 Benefits of Connecting with Others09:56 Joining a Movement for Betterment12:05 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode of Real “the best of OTR – Achieving Mental Health for Real”. Part 3 covers the remaining part of 2021 and all of 2022. There will be a fourth and final Real episode to premier on Christmas day along with all parts of the series live on YouTube and Facebook live. Here are the websites for all the guests on part 3. Enjoy.Gigi Langer's Sites (Beating Anxiety, Depression and Addiction with Dr. Gigi Langer's Four Strategies ):Book: “50 Ways to Worry Less Now or https://www.amazon.com/s?k=50+ways+to+worry+less+now&crid=1AC8SEKEO7JYJ&sprefix=50+way+to+worry+l%2Caps%2C143&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_17:Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection” by Gigi Langer PhD (Amazon 4.8 stars)For a Free Audiobook and PDF worksheets please write to Gigi at glanger2202@gmail.com . Supplies are limited.Website GigiLanger.com (also find blog & sign up for newsletter) - Audiobook & e-book on Amazon & other vendorsFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=Gigi%20Langer%20author&epa=SEARCH_BOXTwitter: @gigi_Langer or https://twitter.com/gigi_langerHighly Sensitive Person, Dr Elaine Aron, www.Hsperson.com- A Course in Miracles (acim.org) Easier to read: Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love; Karen Casey, Daily Meditations to Practice the Course; also Karen Casey, 52 Ways to Practice A Course in Miracles- Radical Forgiveness. Colin Tipping www.RadicalForgiveness.com- IS It True? The Work, Byron Katie, www.thework.com- The Golden Key www.metaphysicspirit.com/books/The%20Golden%20Key%20to%20Prayer.pdf- elf-compassion Kristen Neff www.selfcompassion.org She also has a nice guided meditation in Insight Timer App.-Vision Boards: I have an example in this bloghttps://gigilanger.com/positive-thinking-work/John Lee (from What is the Meaning of life?) Company web site: https://custommobile.app/Rodolfo De Angeli Website: https://lifeartistmastery.comFacebook:

Welcome to a special pre-holidays ep of A Friend for the Long Haul! This is just shy of 2.5 hours but full of good chats. Here's the guest list! Caryn Zaner (0:01:01) is a clinical psychologist specializing in helping folks with identity & values alignment, anxiety, & group therapy. Find their professional Instagram account here. My obsession with Caryn started with this post on still Coviding and attachment theory. We discuss the stinky onion of grief, lost friendships, & values alignment. We get into setting boundaries - are we asking permission instead of actually setting them? Is it effective to appeal to empathy to “make your case” & or is it a waste of spoons? We dive into how difficult it is to make friends as adults. Caryn talks about the Wednesday night peer support group they facilitate & sends out a call to join a cross-generational queer group they want to start! Wanda Belisle (0:26:23) is a registered health coach, dealing with ME/CFS for several years & shares her experience to help people with ME & Long Covid pace. I'm not a client of Wanda's, but I find her posts helpful, & it's refreshing that when she's in a flare or crash, she shares it . In the ‘wellness' space that is rare for fear of diminishing returns on a ‘product.' We discuss pacing during the holidays. The focus is on parenting, but is relevant to all . Wanda explains how she's saved spoons by asking herself how she wants to feel, talking as a family about what's important , & how she reviews that. She offers tips on asking for help, delegating, being your own “Santa” & explaining pacing to family. As a gift, Wanda is sharing a pdf guide: Thriving this Season with ME/CFS and Long Covid for free. You can download it here.  Chimére & Tory Sweeney (0:57:54) joined me for a full-length episode, coming out soon. In this excerpt, we discuss what they have planned for the holidays - or - what they DO NOT have planned.  Kathleen Banks (1:02:35) has been working in public health for about 20 years & while we were having a casual conversation about grief (as you do) she mentioned the concentric circles of grief. We about it & it really helped me understand why I get so annoyed when other people put their grief about my illness back on me. We discuss appealing to empathy again, self-compassion (hello Kristen Neff), & touch on identifying your needs - something we'll talk about in an episode soon. Notes & links from Kathleen: My recent commentary on research priorities for Long COVID, *note for podcast that all my opinions expressed during our interview are mine & do not represent those of any of my affiliations, organizations or co-authors. “How not to say the wrong thing,” LA Times article on Ring Theory. Mara Glatzel's work. Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepnza-Samarasinha.  Jillian & Natalie ( 1:30:09) are my local long hauler bffs. We discuss how this illness has affected our relationships with family & friends, being a lifeline for each other, our “words” for 2024, spending time together over the holidays, & friends who “get it.”  Lesa Schultz ( 1:52:52) was my first ever podcast guest & is one of my dearest long hauler friends. Lesa has an invitation to everyone to join a Sunday night long covid support group she facilitates, & has an update on what it's been like moving across the country to be closer to family while still upholding Covid boundaries.  The end (2:08:48) is a gift from Dr. Laurie Nadel, who has been on the podcast. Dr. Nadel is a psychotherapist. She & Lesa have been building a YouTube channel of meditations, & we have an exclusive for your holiday szn. It is 18 minutes long. Like, subscribe, share episodes pls! If you can, leave a review to help get it in more earballs. Listen to the podcast's Long Covid Theme Songs playlist on Spotify. To support this low budget/high love pod, check out my Bonfire shop for LC apparel or my Amazon wishlist. Thank you!

Tony welcomes guests Nate and Marla Christensen to discuss the concept of self-compassion. Nate is an ALPC, and Marla is an ALPC and AMFT. They delve into the groundbreaking research of Kristen Neff, who has spent 20 years studying the benefits of self-compassion, including its effects on PTSD, anxiety, depression, and overall mental health. The episode explores the three main components of self-compassion—mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity—and addresses common misconceptions such as self-compassion being viewed as weakness, self-indulgence, or selfishness. They share personal insights and clinical experiences, making a compelling case for incorporating self-compassion into daily life and therapy. Nate and Marla are both currently working under Tony's license, and both currently have openings in their schedule. To reach Nate, email him at natechristensencounseling@gmail.com, and for Marla, email marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can contact them through Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com. You can view Nate and Marla's episode on LeadingSaints.org here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=0f9P-Xk5ZaE 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 02:46 Guest Introduction: Nate and Marla Christensen 02:53 Discussing Self-Compassion 03:45 Nate and Marla's Professional Background 08:16 The Importance of Self-Compassion 14:25 Common Misconceptions About Self-Compassion 17:04 Scientific Insights on Self-Compassion 25:25 Historical Context and Recent Research 27:27 Exploring Self-Compassion 28:32 Understanding Mindfulness 30:59 Practicing Self-Kindness 32:52 Embracing Common Humanity 34:58 Motivation Through Self-Compassion 35:53 Challenges in Self-Compassion 39:14 Cultural Perspectives on Compassion 41:11 Reparenting and Emotional Maturity 45:52 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Today, I'm re-sharing my conversation from 2023 with Dr. Kristen Neff on the power of self-compassion. Particularly during stressful and heavy times, self-compassion is such an important concept to practice - it provides relief to those of us who feel like we're going through it alone, and it also helps us feel validated and seen - which is so much of what we're really looking for.    I hope this conversation is helpful, wherever you're at and whatever you're going through. We're all in this together.    Dr. Kristin Neff is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion almost twenty years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.  In June 2021, she published ​Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive​, which is a must-read for all women.   Visit Dr. Kristin Neff's website (selfcompassion.org) Follow Dr. Kristin Neff on Instagram  Follow Dr. Kristin Neff on Facebook Follow Dr. Kristin Neff on Twitter Get a copy of her most recent book: Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive​ And her book: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are you interested in working 1:1 with me? I'm now officially a Certified Money Coach (CMC)® where I work with you to create greater balance, a higher consciousness and help you transform your relationship with money. This goal of this work is to guide you to a deeper understanding of the unconscious beliefs and patterns we carry that create stress and fear and hold us back from living the life that you want. You can book a quick 15-minute call here so I can learn more about you and your goals for the program.  I'm so excited to be able to connect with you on a deeper level and help you discover what's blocking you from living the life you really want!   

Episode Summary: Join us for a deep dive into the heart of experiential therapy with Caitlin Shiflett, where we unpack the profound role of defenses in our suffering, how anxiety serves as a biological response to emotions, and the journey of finding our true selves. Caitlin explains the foundations of Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP), how it targets defenses and anxieties, and the challenges therapists face as learners. We also discuss her upcoming self-compassion group, rooted in mindfulness and self-kindness, and the impact of integrating therapeutic learning with self-compassion. Key Discussion Points: Understanding Defenses in ISTDP Exploring how defenses protect us from intense emotions and the role of experiential therapy in reducing suffering by targeting these defense mechanisms. Why anxiety in ISTDP is seen as a nervous system response rather than a feeling. Embracing the Hero's Journey in Learning Caitlin's own "hero's journey" as a therapist and her journey through ISTDP training, which required vulnerability, resilience, and a confrontation with her own self-criticism. How creative growth requires both commitment and self-compassion, moving beyond self-criticism to embrace learning through mistakes and practice. The Role of Self-Compassion in Healing Caitlin's upcoming self-compassion group, inspired by Kristen Neff's research, blends self-kindness with the power of taking action for oneself. How group work fosters common humanity, helping participants to feel connected through shared struggles and building resilience against self-criticism and shame. Navigating Vulnerability and Visibility in Private Practice The realities of marketing and vulnerability on social media as a therapist, along with strategies to manage the challenges of feeling “invisible” online while promoting meaningful work. Takeaways: Awareness of Defenses: Recognizing personal defense mechanisms can help reduce anxiety and open the door to emotional authenticity. Self-Compassion as a Path to Growth: Learning to integrate self-kindness and structured reflection enables more profound healing, particularly in group settings. Learning as a Process: The journey to mastery involves embracing vulnerability, acknowledging failures, and finding safety in the learning environment. Navigating Online Spaces as Therapists: Embrace patience and persistence, as sharing valuable content in small communities can still make a significant impact. Upcoming Group: Caitlin's “Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion” group begins early 2025, offering a safe, trauma-informed environment for women focused on self-kindness and empowerment. Follow Caitlin Shiflett: Instagram Working Within RVA

Send us a textIn this episode we dive into the deep-seated roots of socially prescribed perfectionism (SPP) and its profound impact on high achievers. Building on the discussion of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) from the previous episode, we explore how childhood trauma can instill a relentless drive for perfection. This pursuit often leads to chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, and a fractured relationship with oneself.We also look at the various types of perfectionism; self-oriented, others-oriented, and socially prescribed, and highlight the dangers of tying self-worth to external validation. We also examine practical strategies for loosening the grip of perfectionism, such as practicing mindful awareness, challenging unrealistic expectations, and fostering self-compassion. With insights from Brene Brown, Kristen Neff, and others, this episode provides you with actionable steps to break free from perfectionism and cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself.Key Topics Covered:The connection between ACEs and perfectionism in high achieversUnderstanding socially prescribed perfectionism and its impactThe role of mindfulness and self-compassion in overcoming perfectionismHow to challenge perfectionistic thoughts and set healthy boundariesThe interplay between perfectionism and imposter syndromeKey Takeaways:Socially prescribed perfectionism leads to chronic stress and burnout.Self-compassion is essential for high achievers to heal and thrive.Setting boundaries helps in managing external expectations and fostering self-respect.0:00 Introduction and Overview0:46 Connection Between ACEs and Perfectionism03:11 The Role of Childhood Trauma in Developing Perfectionism04:49 How ACEs Lead to Coping Mechanisms Like Perfectionism07:12 Understanding Socially Prescribed Perfectionism08:48 Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome: The Link09:55 Types of Perfectionism Explained14:06 Strategies for Loosening the Grip of Perfectionism16:17 Mindful Awareness and Challenging Perfectionistic Thoughts20:43 Practicing Self-Compassion as a Tool for Healing25:13 Focusing on Progress, Not Perfection29:36 The Importance of Setting Boundaries33:01 Closing Thoughts and ResourcesI am grateful you are here,JerrySetup Your FREE Coaching Call:Schedule Call1:1 Transformational Coaching:Learn More Here!How is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guidePick up your copy of my book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Instagram: @jerryahendersonLinkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson Disclaimer

Are you your own worst enemy in recovery? This episode tackles the hidden barrier that keeps many people stuck in addiction - a harsh inner critic. Hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how self-blame can sabotage recovery efforts and share research-backed strategies for developing self-compassion. Drawing from Dr. Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, they explain why being kind to yourself isn't just "feel-good talk" but a powerful tool for lasting change. The hosts break down practical steps to transform your inner dialogue and explain why self-compassion actually leads to better accountability than harsh self-criticism. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable tools to break free from shame and build lasting resilience.Download: From Self-Blame to Self-Compassion Recovery Worksheet.Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.Key Topics The difference between self-compassion and self-excuse Research evidence supporting self-compassion in recovery How shame fuels addiction cycles Practical steps to develop self-compassion The role of community support in building self-compassion Connection between self-compassion and accountability Tools for identifying and transforming your inner critic Key Timestamps[00:01:23] Why we're kinder to others than ourselves[00:03:35] Understanding the trap of self-blame[00:05:02] Introduction to Dr. Kristen Neff's research[00:07:34] Self-compassion vs. making excuses[00:08:23] Practical steps for developing self-compassion[00:11:36] The importance of common humanity[00:14:31] Different timelines for changeFollow and Review: We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.Supporting Resources:If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery CenterNovusMindfulLife.comWe want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmindDisclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are you your own worst enemy in recovery? This episode tackles the hidden barrier that keeps many people stuck in addiction - a harsh inner critic. Hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how self-blame can sabotage recovery efforts and share research-backed strategies for developing self-compassion. Drawing from Dr. Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, they explain why being kind to yourself isn't just "feel-good talk" but a powerful tool for lasting change. The hosts break down practical steps to transform your inner dialogue and explain why self-compassion actually leads to better accountability than harsh self-criticism. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable tools to break free from shame and build lasting resilience. Download: From Self-Blame to Self-Compassion Recovery Worksheet. Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need. Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth. Key Topics The difference between self-compassion and self-excuse Research evidence supporting self-compassion in recovery How shame fuels addiction cycles Practical steps to develop self-compassion The role of community support in building self-compassion Connection between self-compassion and accountability Tools for identifying and transforming your inner critic Key Timestamps [00:01:23] Why we're kinder to others than ourselves [00:03:35] Understanding the trap of self-blame [00:05:02] Introduction to Dr. Kristen Neff's research [00:07:34] Self-compassion vs. making excuses [00:08:23] Practical steps for developing self-compassion [00:11:36] The importance of common humanity [00:14:31] Different timelines for change Follow and Review: We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here I guide a brief meditation through the three pillars of Self Compassion as codified by Dr. Kristen Neff. By moving through the stages of Mindfulness, Common humanity, and Kindness, we give ourselves the opportunity to soften around our struggles and allow a space for healing. Meditation can be challenging at times. Occasionally we may experience things which surprise as a result. If you have any questions or concerns in regards to this, or other meditation practices, please feel free to message me through my website: www.suchsweetthunder.org I have been practicing meditation for over 39 years and has been successfully teaching meditation worldwide since 2009, giving talks, facilitating retreats, and have authored two books. I have received formal training in Theravada, Mahayana (Tibetan, Zen,) and Vedanta meditation techniques as well as Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness, MBSR, Nonviolent Communication, and Buddhist Psychology. I teach from a secular voice and I am passionate about bringing timeless wisdom teachings to people of any faith, belief system, or tradition. If you find these podcasts helpful please consider making a donation: PayPal.me/suchsweetthunder May All Benefit

Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, you likely know all about being your own biggest critic. In this episode, Carly Ann explores how to quieten your inner critic using the 3 core elements of Self-Compassion, based on the work of Paul Gilbert & Kristen Neff.  If you struggle with anxious attachment,  self-criticism, or self-blame, this episode is for you. We'll break down3 core elements of self-compassion that you can bring into your day to day life. Becoming Secure: HERESubscribe now and join our thriving community of listeners who are on a journey to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life. Links: FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads The Attachment Recovery Gym: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/attachment-recovery-gym

If you're feeling burned out, you're not alone. Many people are feeling overwhelmed by having too much to do and exhausted by the pressure to perform better. Fortunately, Dr. Kristen Neff says that even if we can't change our circumstances, we can still manage burnout effectively. As a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a leading expert in self-compassion, she says emotional self-care is the key to coping with significant stress. Some of the things we talk about are: What it means to burnout and why professionals and caregivers are at such a high risk The health implications of burnout How self-compassion combats burnout What true self-care looks like (it goes beyond bubble baths) Strategies for practicing emotional self-care in any circumstance Links & Resources Selfcompassion.org Join the self-compassion community Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout Follow Dr. Neff on Instagram — @neffselfcompassion Offers From Our Sponsors BetterHelp — Go to BetterHelp.com/MENTALLYSTRONG today to get 10% off your first month of therapy. AirDoctor — Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code STRONGER to receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers! ButcherBox — Go to Butcherbox.com/stronger and use code stronger at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone-in chicken thighs, top sirloins, or salmon in every box for an entire year, plus $30 off! Jenni Kayne — Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code STRONGER15 at Jennikayne.com/STRONGER15 #jennikaynepartner Aqua Tru — Receive 20% OFF any AquaTru water purifier when you go to AquaTru.com and use promo code STRONGER at checkout! Subscribe to Mentally Stronger Premium — Get weekly bonus episodes, monthly bonus content, and cool gifts (like signed books)! Connect with the Show Buy Amy's books on mental strength Connect with Amy on Instagram — @AmyMorinAuthor Email the show — Podcast@AmyMorinLCSW.com Order 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Permission to Love podcast, we dive into the powerful link between practicing acts of kindness and overall happiness and well-being. Discover how simple acts of kindness can lead to profound changes in your life, reducing stress, anxiety, and even physical pain. In this episode I share compelling research, real-life stories, and practical tips to help you integrate kindness into your daily routine, making a positive impact on yourself and those around you.Key Takeaways:The science behind how kindness releases feel-good chemicals in the brain.The ripple effect of kindness and its contagious nature.The importance of self-compassion and how it contributes to overall well-being.Practical tips to incorporate random acts of kindness into your life.Whether you're looking to enhance your happiness or make a difference in the world, this episode offers valuable insights and inspiration.Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell icon for more episodes on living a fulfilling life!

In this episode, let's explore the crucial distinction between self-compassion and self-pity, inspired by Dr. Kristen Neff's transformative work, "Self-Compassion." I dive into how to treat ourselves with the same kindness we'd extend to a dear friend or a child, especially when life throws its inevitable struggles our way. Learn practical strategies to cultivate self-compassion and understand why it's essential for our well-being. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to embrace kindness towards ourselves, even when the going gets tough. Where to find me: Connect with me on Instagram Check out my website Sign up for a free consultLinkTree

Self-Compassion: Cultivating Kindness and Resilience Petrina discussed the concept of self-compassion, emphasizing its importance in treating oneself with the same kindness and respect one would offer to a friend. She suggested strategies to cultivate self-compassion, such as acknowledging and accepting one's feelings without judgment, and using affirmations. Petrina also recommended books by Dr. Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer for further reading. She highlighted that practicing self-compassion can lead to greater emotional resilience and overall well-being, and invited listeners to join her in exploring this topic further in future sessions. For more from Petrina, visit her Amazon Author Page. Do You Have a Couple of Minutes - the Podcast. Inspiring topics to help you Think, Learn, Grow, and Live More Fulfilled. ⁠⁠⁠www.petrinagooch.com⁠⁠⁠ Book Publications: Leading Self, Leading Others – 20 Inspiring Topics for Personal and Team Leadership and Professional Growth – available on Amazon and Kindle LiftOff to Landing – Revealing Stories of Strangers in Flight – Flight 2023 – available on Amazon, Kindle and Audible ⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/author/petrinagooch⁠⁠⁠ #DoYouHaveACoupleOfMinutes #Inspire #Think #Learn #Grow #Fulfilled #LiveFulfilled #Liberate #Illuminate #Amplify #PositiveChange #Leadership #Mentor #Coach #Develop #Lead #Listen #Encourage #Feelings #Intent #Expectations #PetrinaGooch #Petrina #TakeTheGoodTakeTheBad #Perfection #Imperfections #decisionmaking #relevance #approachable #collaboration #understanding #progress #BeNice #BeRespectful #BuildOthersUp #confidence #Courage #help #change #vision #Choice #Change #TakeAction #Burnout #RediscoverYou #AuthenticAlignment

Episode: Self Care for Recovery Introduction: Welcome to Healing With Worth, a podcast dedicated to healthy recovery and instilling hope in the wake of betrayal trauma. Join hosts Janine and Naomi as they share their personal experiences to support other women on this journey. Remember, they are not professionals, and this podcast is not a replacement for therapeutic healing. Therapist-Led Support Groups: If you are looking for therapist-led support groups to help with betrayal trauma, reach out to worth@lifechangingservices.org to join one of our online WORTH groups. Self Care Essentials: Janine and Naomi emphasize the importance of self-care as a pillar of recovery. They discuss how setting boundaries and managing self-care is critical, especially for mothers with young children. Self-care isn't just about indulgent activities like bubble baths but includes anything that nurtures and supports well-being during difficult times. Compassion and Patience: Healing is a long process that requires compassion and patience with oneself. The hosts highlight the importance of taking time to discern your safety and the intentions of your partner. Recognizing the difference between numbing out and intentional self-care is crucial. Self Care Myths: Janine and Naomi debunk common myths about self-care: Self-care is selfish: It's essential for your healing and not selfish. Self-care is a one-time event: It's an ongoing process that needs to be integrated into daily life. Self-care must be expensive or time-consuming: Simple, everyday practices can be effective forms of self-care. Analogies and Tools for Self Care: The hosts use analogies like the airline mask and a three-legged stool to illustrate the importance of balanced self-care. They also recommend tools like the self-care wheel or life balance wheel to help identify areas in your life that may need more focus. Closing Thoughts: Emphasize the importance of modeling self-care for children and setting goals in areas such as spiritual, intellectual, physical, and social aspects of life. The episode concludes with a quote from Kristen Neff on the transformative power of self-compassion.

I am beyond excited to have the renowned Dr. Laura Anderson (@drlauraeanderson), a therapist, trauma resolution and recovery coach, writer, and educator, to discuss the psychological complexities of a high-control religion. She shares her insights on navigating the challenging journey of DECONSTRUCTION and reclaiming one's AUTHENTICITY.   In this episode: Understanding ADVERSE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES and their impact beyond trauma The power of CURIOSITY, SELF-COMPASSION & PATIENCE in the questioning process Dr. Laura, on strict religious obedience: "High demand religions typically require individuals to DIVORCE THEMSELVES from their BODIES and move exclusively into their MINDS."   Laura has a Ph.D. from Saybrook University and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She specializes in complex trauma with a focus on domestic violence, sexualized violence, and religious trauma. Her bestselling book, "When Religion Hurts You: Healing From Religious Trauma and the Impact of High Control Religion," offers a compassionate guide for those on the path of healing and liberation.   WATCH our episode on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@SoulRoseShow  ... Follow Dr. Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/ Join Dr. Laura's year-long course: "Religious Trauma and Politics": https://ctrr.podia.com/religious-trauma-and-the-election-cycle Dr. Laura Anderson's book: "When Religion Hurts You: Healing From Religious Trauma and the Impact of High Control Religion”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BW12SBFC Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cherie.burton/ Join my new MINDBODY Soul Membership: https://www.cherieburton.com/mindbody-membership Get my Free WHOLE BODY Healing Mini-Course:  https://www.cherieburton.com/freeminicourse Ask to join our private Facebook group, Soul Rose COMMUNITY, for exclusive content and free monthly, live sessions & classes!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/353442392180748/

Self-compassion can be tough to come by in grief. We compare ourselves to who we were, who we want to be, to others grieving, to how we think grief "should be", and on and on. In this episode, we talk about the challenges of practicing self-compassion, what self-compassion is (and isn't) and some tools for navigating grief with self compassion.  We have a free webinar on self-compassion on May 20th. You can sign up here: https://streamyard.com/watch/WP7vXWnap8Vw For more info on self-compasssion, Kristen Neff has a great website: https://self-compassion.org/ If you like the podcast, you'll love WYG Grief Support Hub (it's our griever member community - think of it as our Patreon, but a zillion times better). It opens for new members on May 15th! Support the podcast and get TONS more grief support. You can learn more here and join the waitlist to be notified when membership opens.  Visit whatsyourgrief.com for hundreds of free articles we've written about all things grief and loss.  If you're a grief professional, we have a community for you too. https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-professionals-community/ You can also make a donation here at any time to help us keep the lights on.  Get Lessons to Write On: A Guided Grief Journaling Intensive here.  https://whatsyourgrief.ck.page/products/lessons-to-write-on-grief-journaling Pick up the What's Your Grief Book Bookshop.org Barnes & Noble Amazon Books A Million IndieBound

Award-winning storyteller in television, film, and literature, Matthew Weiner, is a recent graduate of the Hoffman Process. Matthew is the creator, executive producer, writer, and director of the television show, Mad Men. Matthew shares that his biggest fear in doing the Process was losing his creativity; if he healed his trauma, he'd no longer be creative. Now on the other side of the Process, Matthew knows his fear was unfounded because, through his deep work of transformation, he learned that making art is part of healing trauma. As a comedy writer, Matthew shares that often negative self-statements get a laugh. And yet, that inner negativity, including when it is pointed at ourselves, is, as Matthew says, "not sustainable." Releasing harmful negative patterns and the negative love we learned as children brings freedom and a lightness that is hard to imagine until you discover it within yourself. A particularly beautiful and wise reflection from Matthew comes when he speaks about childhood. He shares that, as children, we see ourselves as a "supporting player" in our parents' lives, not realizing that each of us is actually "the star" of our childhood. Toward the end, Matthew shares the importance of reflecting on his experience during the Process and after. Post-Process, people have told him he's different, his voice has changed and he's softer. Like many of our guests, Matthew sees value in this process of reflection through conversation on personal transformation. We know there is also great value in witnessing another's experience. We hope you enjoy this wise, reflective conversation with Matthew and Drew. More about Matthew Weiner: Matthew Weiner is a nine-time Emmy Award winner and five-time WGA Award-winning storyteller in television, film, and literature. Among his range of credits are two of television's most successful and critically lauded shows:  creator, executive producer, writer, and director on Mad Men, which was distinguished with the Peabody Award, and executive producer for The Sopranos. Weiner was also the creator, executive producer, writer, and director of the original contemporary anthology series, The Romanoffs, set in seven countries around the globe. Weiner's debut novel, Heather, The Totality, was published by Little, Brown and Company. You can discover more about Matthew Weiner here. As mentioned in this episode: Esopus Magazine article. Quote: “Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I don't have anything on paper despite years of constant rejection. In showbiz, all bad news has come through agents and in the form of phone calls. Even early on. I don't know that I would have saved them if I had gotten them. They're like bad reviews for me, best skimmed through and then briefly obsessed over before being mentally discarded. I've come to realize rejection is now part of my process. I am not used to it by any means, nor do I expect it, but it both sharpens my resolve that my ideas are new and also drives me to professionally outlive the resistance of the gatekeepers. If I wait patiently they will either move on, reconsider, or become brave enough to try something new. Rejection, as painful as it is, is nothing more than a delay.“ - Matthew Weiner Mindful Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff and Chris Germer) Listen to Kristen Neff on the Hoffman Podcast. Listen to Chris Germer on the Hoffman Podcast, Livia Soprano David Chase Terry (Terrence) Winter Robin Green Mitch (Mitchell) Burgess TM (Transcendental Meditation) About the song, Try a Little Tenderness Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding Fawlty Towers: Don't mention the war! Wizard of Oz Hoffman Teacher, Barbara Comstock Listen to Barbara Comstock on the Hoffman Podcast The cargo ship that took down Baltimore's Francis Scott Key Bridge Sigmund Freud Id: the part of the mind in which innate instinctive impulses and primary processes are manifest.

Let's chat about self-compassion with the scientist that created the self-compassion scale herself!Today, I am joined by Dr. Kristen Neff, Tedx speaker and author of Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. Leading expert in self-compassion, Dr. Neff walks us through what it means to be self-compassion and how we can start with baby steps to be kinder to ourselves. I remember being a first time mom and how I had so much guilt around everything I did with my daughter. Our inner dialogue can be so tough on us, while on the other hand, we offer a nurturing hand to our friends. I know I am not alone in this because many moms and dads have shared these struggles with me. If you are ready to be kinder to yourself and to see this impact on your mental health and physical health, then take 47 min to listen to this powerful conversation! https://www.curiousneuron.com/Resources:Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself CanadaUSVisit her website or join her NEW Self-Compassion Community:https://self-compassion.org/InstagramHer Tedx TalkPlease leave a rating for our podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Email me at info@curiousneuron.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuron/Facebook group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/theemotionallyawareparent/THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! Get some discounts using the links belowThank you to our main supporters the Tanenbaum Open Science Institute at The Neuro and the McConnell Foundation. Discounts for our community! Pok Pok app. Click on the link below to get 50% off an entire year of this amazing open-ended play app for kids! https://playpokpok.com/redeem/?code=50CURIOUSNEURON BetterHelp is the world's largest therapy service, and it's 100% online. Click the link below to get 15% off the first month of therapy http://www.betterhelp.com/curiousneuron Holstee Inspiration and tools to help you live a more meaningful life. Membership, reflection cards for kids and adults:. Enjoy 20% off your purchase using the link below:https://www.holstee.com/?ref=curiousneuron

-What is the inner critic?  -How can we stop listening to or warring with our inner critic? -How can practicing self-compassion help us befriend our inner critic? Welcome to Episode 165! This week, Rachel Koutnik, LCSW, is back to teach us all about the befriending our inner critic through self-compassion! In the episode, you'll hear Rachel walk us through what the ‘inner critic' is, how we may be codependent with our inner critic, and why that may contribute to our codependency in our relationships. Rather than combat or try to rid ourselves of our inner critic, Rachel suggests befriending it through the use of self-compassion. We conclude with tangible suggestions from Rachel on how to cultivate a self-compassion practice. It's a must-listen! Links for the show: Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497   Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing  FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge  Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC  Work with me! Email marissa@codependummy.com to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show! More on this week's guest: Rachel Koutnik, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a therapist in private practice working mostly online in Los Angeles and is licensed in both CA and IL. Her approach to therapy is both relational and holistic with a focus on helping adolescents, adults, couples and families repair attachment trauma while integrating healing for the mind, body and spirit.  See Rachel on March 16 at the IOCDF Conference: https://iocdf.org/programs/conferences/  Check out Rachel's website for her individual therapy and group offerings: www.rachelktherapy.com  More deets on the episode:  We begin with revisiting Rachel's definition of codependency that she expands on through the lens of our relationship with ourselves. She describes how we look outside of ourselves for approval and reassurance and behave how we think others want us to be.  Rachel opens up about codependency in her own life and how she has been more codependent in relationships where her ‘inner critic' was more at the forefront of her mind. She recalls laughing when things were not funny, having physical intimacy when she wasn't ready, and privileging the other person's needs above her own.  We shift focus to Rachel's work to help her clients befriend their inner critic. She utilizes self-compassion, based off the work of Kristen Neff, that defines the practice as mindfulness and how we meet our suffering. Rachel defines self-compassion as developing a healthy relationship with suffering through loving, spacious awareness of all our parts. Rachel asserts how self-compassion helps us stop shaming ourselves while we heal which is a mandate to truly healing! Rachel defines the ‘inner critic' and shares how we can be just as codependent with this internal part as we are in our external relationships. In order to befriend our inner critic, Rachel asserts how we need to recognize it's origin (how old is this part?) then engage in the reparative work: naming it, separating from it, using mindfulness, let compassion in, and provide compassion the way you might to a friend.  We conclude with Rachel listing how we can check in with our bodies when using self-compassion: take turns being the observer, the self-compassionate part, and the inner critic part of us to give all three space. Then, to provide compassion, we can tune in to our breathing, provide soothing though, go through a body scan, engage in movement/exercise, and incorporate tapping via Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).  Thank you for coming on again Rachel! And thank you dear listener for listening! PLEASE: Rate.  Review. Subscribe.  Share. We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!

-What is self-compassion and how can it help heal from codependency? -What are the basic elements of a self-compassion practice? -How is self-compassion not self-indulgence, self-pity, or self-esteem? Welcome to Episode 158! This week, I'm back after a short break to tell you all about SELF-COMPASSION. You'll hear me define what self-compassion is and how creating a self-compassion practice can help us heal from our codependency. I will also break down the three basic elements of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness. I end with a discussion on what self-compassion is NOT: it is not self-indulgence, self-pity, nor self-esteem. If you're wanting and needing to be kinder to yourself, be sure to listen to this episode! Links for the show: Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497   Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing  FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge  Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC  Work with me! Email marissa@codependummy.com to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show! More deets on the episode: I begin with an honest apology for not airing an episode for the last 3 weeks! This solocast was originally set to air on Christmas Day and, evidently, my pregnancy and life got in the way! But I'm here now! And practicing compassion with myself for taking a while to get this episode up.  We have a brief check in to help you reflect on how you are doing.  Next, we dive in to the world of Self-Compassion, which is largely based on my research of the work by Kristen Neff. I break down the discussion of self-compassion in 3 parts: What is Self-Compassion? What are the 3 basic elements of self-compassion: Self-kindness versus self-judgment.  Common humanity versus isolation Mindfulness versus over-identification What is NOT self-compassion. It is NOT: Self-esteem Self-indulgence Self-pity I conclude the episode with specific ways you can start to practice self-compassion this week:  Remind yourself of the 3 basic elements: common humanity, mindfulness, and self-kindness.  Listen to one of Kristen Neff's meditations: http://self-compassion.com/ (go to the Practices page) Review a difficult event through the lens of self-compassion.  Thank you for listening!  PLEASE: Rate.  Review. Subscribe.  Share. We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!

This podcast will change your mind! Today's episode is another brilliant compilation, this time on the theme of mindset – how changing your thinking can change your life. The team and I have selected some of the most practical, inspiring and can-do clips. Each one is filled with hope and potential, guaranteed to get you into a positive frame of mind. It's a fantastic episode to help you begin 2024 as you mean to go on. The idea behind this theme was to collect all the best tips, tricks and evidence-based techniques to help you reframe some of the ways you might see the world. Reframing means that when challenges arise, or difficult conversations or decisions present themselves, you can choose to approach them in a different way. With time you will genuinely feel differently about them – and find yourself embracing life with a new sense of freedom and fulfilment. The clips you'll hear include some powerful, life-changing ideas and insights on controlling your reaction to stressors, managing anxiety and overwhelm, learning to sit with your thoughts, and growing your resilience and self-compassion. As we see in a new year, with all its talk of resolutions and ‘new yous', I think you'll appreciate our experts' realistic take on making healthy habits stick and overcoming limiting beliefs or unhelpful thought patterns. If you ever feel a bit lost in life, as if you've strayed from your intended path, this podcast will help. Together, my guests will help you to reconnect with your true, authentic self. And that's something we could all do with in modern life. You'll hear from former guests including Jay Shetty, Oliver Burkeman, Rich Roll, Peter Crone, James Clear, Jim Kwik, Mel Robbins, Dr Kristen Neff, Dr Edith Eger, Pippa Grange and Julia Samuel – to name but a few – on how to harness the power of your mind and cultivate emotional and spiritual growth. Remember that each of the clips in this podcast comes from a full-length episode. So if you like what you hear, check the show notes for links to listen to those speakers' episodes in full. My team and I loved compiling this episode for you, it's been a wonderful reminder of our purpose in life. And I hope that some of the wisdom you hear today will inspire you to find yours. Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.Find out more about my NEW Journal here https://drchatterjee.com/journalThanks to our sponsors:https://calm.com/livemorehttps://vivobarefoot.com/livemorehttps://drinkag1.com/livemoreShow notes https://drchatterjee.com/412DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.