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Thank you for the story idea! Scooter keeps going and going, and mind keep thinking and thinking until he falls asleep. Sometimes during dinner. Scooter has tried reading books to go to sleep at night when he can't settle. His reading is just okay so he makes up the words he doesn't know. One day his friend comes in and he tells him a story to see if that will help him sleep.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, Corey and I talk about modeling the person you want your child to be—instead of trying to force them into having good character or good values. We discussed the difference between being a gardener or a carpenter parent, raising kind and helpful children, and how to trust the modeling process. We give lots of examples of what this has looked like for parents in our community as well as in our own homes.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!We talk about:* 00:00 — Intro + main idea: be the person you want your child to be* 00:02 — How kids naturally model what we do (funny real-life stories)* 00:04 — When modeling goes wrong (rabbit poop + shovel story)* 00:06 — Not everything kids do is learned from us (fight/flight/freeze)* 00:08 — Gardener vs. carpenter parenting metaphor* 00:10 — Why “don't do anything for your child” is flawed advice* 00:12 — Helping builds independence (adult example + kids stepping up)* 00:17 — Hunt, Gather, Parent: let kids help when they're little* 00:19 — How to encourage helping without power struggles* 00:23 — Family team vs. rigid chores* 00:26 — Trust, faith, and “I'm sure you'll do it next time”* 00:29 — Respecting kids like people (adultism)* 00:31 — Living values without preaching* 00:36 — It's the small moments that shape kids* 00:38 — Don't be a martyr: let some things go* 00:40 — When this works (and when it doesn't)* 00:42 — Closing reflections on trust and nurturingResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player * The Peaceful Parenting Membership * Hunt, Gather, Parent podcast episode* Evelyn & Bobbie brasConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team-click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HEREPodcast Transcript:Sarah: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. I have Corey with me today. Hi, Corey.Corey: Hey, Sarah.Sarah: I'm so happy to be talking about what we're going to be talking about today because it's something that comes up a lot—both with our coaching clients and in our membership.Today we're talking about modeling the person you want your child to be—being the person you want your child to be—instead of trying to force them into having good character or good values.Corey: This is one of my favorite topics because people don't really think about it. There's that phrase that's so rampant: “Do as I say, not as I do.” And we're actually saying: do the exact opposite of that.Sarah: Yeah. And I think if people did this, that phrase wouldn't have to exist. Because if you're being the person you want your child to be, then you really can just say, “Do as I do.”I guess that “Do what I say, not what I do” comes up when you're not being the person you want your child to be. And it shows how powerful it is that kids naturally follow what we do, right?Corey: Yes.Sarah: Yeah. We both have some funny stories about this in action—times we didn't necessarily think about it until we remembered or saw it reflected back. Do you want to share yours first? It's so cute.Corey: Yeah. When I was a little girl, my favorite game to play was asking my mom if we could play “Mummy and her friend.” We did this all the time. My mom said she had to do it over and over and over with me.We'd both get a little coffee cup. I'd fill mine with water, and we'd pretend we were drinking tea or coffee. Then we would just sit and have a conversation—like I heard her having with her friend.And I'd always be like, “So, how are your kids?”—and ask the exact things I would hear my mom asking her friend.Sarah: That's so cute. So you were pretending to be her?Corey: Yes.Sarah: That is so cute.I remember once when Lee was little—he was probably around three—he had a block, like a play block, a colored wooden block. And he had it pinched between his shoulder and his ear, and he was doing circles around the kitchen.I said, “What are you doing?” And he said, “I'm talking on the phone.”And I realized: oh my gosh. I walk around with the cordless phone pinched between my shoulder and my ear, and I walk around while I'm talking on the phone. So for him, that was like: this is how you talk on the phone.Corey: That's such a funny reference, too. Now our kids would never—my kids would never do that, right?Sarah: No, because they never saw you with a phone like that.Corey: Right.Sarah: That is so funny. It's definitely a dated reference.You also have a funny story, too, that's sort of the opposite—less harmless things our kids copy us doing. Do you want to share your… I think it's a rabbit poop story.Corey: It is. We're just going to put it out there: it's a rabbit poop story. This is how we accidentally model things we probably don't want our kids doing.So, if you were listening this time last year, I got a new dog. She's a lab, and her favorite thing is to eat everything—especially things she's not supposed to eat, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to.Our area is rampant with rabbits, so we have this problem with rabbit droppings. And my vet has informed me that despite the fact that dogs love it, you need to not let them eat it.So I'm always in the backyard—if you're hearing this, it's really silly—having to try and shovel these up so the dog's not eating them.Listeners, we're looking into a longer-term solution so rabbits aren't getting into our backyard, but this is where we're at right now.Whenever I noticed I'd be shoveling them up and I'd see her trying to eat something else I hadn't shoveled yet, I'd say, “Leave it,” and then give her a treat to reward her.One day, my little guy—little C—who loves taking part in dog training and is so great with animals, he saw our dog eating something she shouldn't. He ran and got his little sand shovel and went up to her holding it—kind of waving it at her—like, “Leave it.”And I was like, why are you shaking a shovel at the dog? Totally confused about what he was doing.And he's like, “Well, this is how you do it, Mommy.”And I was like… oh. I shake a shovel at the dog. You just say, “Leave it,” and then you give her the treat—not the shovel.Not an hour later, I'm shoveling again, she's trying to eat something she shouldn't, and I'm like, “Leave it, leave it.” I look at my hand and I'm holding the shovel up while saying it to her.Sarah: Right?Corey: And I was like, “Oh, this is why he thinks that.” Because every time I'm saying this to her, I'm holding a shovel mid-scoop—trying to get on top of the problem.Sarah: That's so funny. And when you told me that the first time, I got the impression you maybe weren't being as gentle as you thought you were. Like you were frustrated with the dog, and little C was copying that.Corey: Yeah. Probably that too, right? Because it's a frustrating problem. Anyone who's tried to shovel rabbit droppings knows it's an impossible, ridiculous task.So I definitely was a bit frustrated. He was picking up both on the frustration and on what I was physically doing.And I also think this is a good example to show parents: don't beat yourself up. Sometimes we're not even aware of the things we're doing until we see it reflected back at us.Sarah: Totally.And now that you mentioned beating yourself up: I have a lot of parents I work with who will say, “I heard my kid yelling and shouting, and I know they pick that up from me—my bad habits of yelling and shouting.”I just want to say: there are some things kids do out of fight, flight, or freeze—like their nervous system has gotten activated—that they would do whether you shouted at them or not.It's not that everything—every hard thing—can be traced back to us.Kids will get aggressive, and I've seen this: kids who are aggressive, who have not ever seen aggression. They've never seen anyone hitting; they've never been hit. But they will hit and kick and spit and scream because that's the “fight” of fight, flight, or freeze.So it's not that they learned it somewhere.And often parents will worry, “What are they being exposed to at school?” But that can just be a natural instinct to protect oneself when we get dysregulated.Also, kids will think of the worst thing they can say—and it's not necessarily that they've heard it.I remember one time Asa got really mad at Lee. They were like three and six. And Asa said, “I'm going to chop your head off and bury you in the backyard.”Oh my goodness—if I hadn't known it wasn't necessarily something he learned, I would've been really worried. But it was just a reflection of that fight, flight, or freeze instinct that he had.So I guess it's: yes, kids can learn things from us, and I'm not saying they can't. Your example—with the dog, the rabbit poop, and the shovel—of course kids can pick up unsavory behavior from us.But that doesn't mean that every single hard thing they do, they learned from us. And also, they have good natures. There are things that come from them that are good as well, that they didn't learn from us.Corey: That's right.Sarah: I want to ground this conversation in a great metaphor from a book by Allison Gopnik. I think the title is The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children.To really embrace what we're talking about—being the person you want your child to be—you have to believe in the gardener metaphor of parenting.The gardener metaphor is: your child is like a seed that has within it everything it needs to grow into a beautiful plant. You provide the water, sunlight, proper soil, and then the plant does the work of growing on its own.The carpenter metaphor is: you have to build your child—make your child into who they're going to be.This idea we're talking about—be the person you want your child to be—that's the soil and the light and the water your child needs to grow into a beautiful plant, or a beautiful human being.It's not that we're doing things to them to turn them into good humans.And honestly, most parents, when you ask them what they wish for their child, they want their kid to be a good person when they grow up.I want to say to parents: it's easier than you think. The most influential thing you can do to help your child grow up to be a good person is to be the person you want them to be.This goes up against a lot of common parenting advice.One phrase I wish did not exist—and I don't know where it came from, but if anyone knows, let me know—is: “You should never do anything for your child that they can do for themselves.”Such a terrible way to think about relationships.Can you imagine if I said to your partner, “You should never do anything for Corey that she can do for herself”? It's terrible.I make my husband coffee in the morning—not because he can't make it himself, but as an act of love. For him to come downstairs, getting ready for work, and have a nice hot coffee ready. Of course he can make his own coffee. But human relationships are built on doing things for each other.Corey: Yes. I think that's so profound.I think about how I was just telling you before we started recording how we've been spending our weekends skiing. When I first started skiing with my husband—even though I'd grown up skiing—I'd never done it as much as him. He helped me so much. He did so much of the process for me so I didn't have too much to think about.Now that we do it all the time, he said to me the other day, “Look at how independent you've gotten with this. You can do so much of this yourself. You're managing so much more on the hill.”He was so proud of me, and I was thinking: imagine if he hadn't done that for me. If he had been like, “Just figure it out. We're on the ski hill. You're an adult.”I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it very much. But he did lots of things for me that I could have done for myself, and that love and support helped nurture the shared love we had.Sarah: Yeah.And I think it's tough because our culture is so individualistic. Hyper-individualistic—everyone should stand on their own two feet and do things without help and make it on their own. And that has really leaked into our parenting.One of the major fears I hear from parents is that their kid won't be independent.So a lot of parents push kids to be independent—and what that ends up looking like is the opposite of what we're talking about.Part of the reason there's pressure for individualism is because we see it as a way for kids to turn into “good people.”But so many qualities of being a good person are about human interconnectedness: caring about other people, being kind, being helpful, being conscientious, thinking about what's the right thing to do.All of that comes from how we're modeling it—the gardener metaphor.But there's always this tension: wanting your kid to be helpful, caring, kind, and thinking you have to make them be those things instead of letting that gardener process develop.I'm on the other side of this because my kids are grownups, so I've seen it develop. One of the things I realized a couple years ago is this progression I saw with Maxine.One time we were on our way out the door. My husband happened to be leaving for work at the same time we were leaving for the school bus. Maxine was probably around seven, and I was carrying her backpack for her.My husband—who also has that individualism thing—said, “Why are you carrying her backpack? She's seven. She can carry her own backpack.”And I was like, “I know, but she likes me to carry it, and I don't mind.”And I really knew that someday she would want to carry her own backpack.Sure enough, a couple years later, she's carrying her own backpack, doesn't ask me anymore. I didn't think about it for a while.Then one day we were coming from the grocery store and had to walk a little ways with heavy groceries. She insisted on carrying all the groceries and wouldn't let me carry anything.I was like, “I can carry some groceries, honey.” And she's like, “No, Mom. I've got it.”She's carrying all the heavy groceries by herself. This full-circle moment: not only was she helping, she wanted to do it for me. She didn't want me to have to carry the heavy groceries.I just love that.Corey: Yeah. And I love when we have these conversations because sometimes it feels like a leap of faith—you don't see this modeled in society very much. It's a leap of faith to be like, “I can do these things for my children, and one day they will…”But it's not as long as people think. I'm already seeing some of that blooming with my 10-year-old.Sarah: Yeah.And Sophie in our membership shared something on our Wednesday Wins. Her kids are around 10, eight or nine, and seven. She's always followed this principle—modeling who you want your kid to be.She said she always worried, “They're never going to help.” And whenever you hear “never” and “always,” there's anxiety coming in.But she shared she had been sick and had to self-isolate. Her kids were making her food and bringing it to her. She would drive to the store, and they would go in and get the things needed.She was amazed at how they stepped up and helped her without her having to make them. They just saw that their mom needed help and were like, “We're there, Mom. What do you need?”Corey: Oh—“What do you need?” That's so sweet.Sarah: I love that.One more story: this fall, my kids are 20—Lee's going to be 25 next week—21, and 18.My husband and I were going away for the weekend, leaving Maxine home by herself. It was fall, and we have a lot of really big trees around our house, so there was major eavestroughs—gutters—cleaning to do, getting leaves off the roof and bagging all the leaves in the yard. A full-day job.My husband had been like, “I have so much work to do. I don't want to deal with that when I come home.”So I asked the boys if they could come over and the three of them could do the leaf-and-gutter job. And they were like, “Absolutely.”They surprised their dad. When we came home, they had done the entire thing. They spent a day doing all the leaves and gutter cleaning. None of them were like, “I don't want to,” or “I'm busy.” They didn't ask me to pay them—we didn't pay them. They just were like, “Sure, we'll help Dad. We know he has a lot of work right now.”I just love that.Corey: Oh, I love that. When they're so little, they can't really help take the burden off you. But knowing that one day they will—it's such a nice thing to know.Although this brings us to that good point about Hunt, Gather, Parent.Sarah: Yeah. If people haven't listened to that episode, we'll link to it in the show notes.Let's talk about some things you can do to actively practice what we're talking about—modeling who we want our kids to be.One idea is really encapsulated by Michaeleen Doucleff, who wrote Hunt, Gather, Parent. She traveled in Mexico, spent time with Mayan people, and saw kids doing household stuff without being asked—helpful, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of younger siblings in this beautiful way that was pretty unrecognizable by North American standards.She went down and lived with them and studied what they did. She found it started with letting kids help when they were little.The two- or three-year-old who wanted to help a parent make food or do things in the garden—rather than the parents doing it without the kid around, or giving them something fake to help with, or not letting them do it—those parents let kids do it.Even if it took longer, even if the parent had to redo it later (not in front of them). They let their kids be imperfect helpers and enthusiastic helpers.That's an impulse we've all seen: kids want to help. And we often don't let them because we say they're too little or it takes too much time. And we end up thwarting that helping impulse.Then when we really want them to help—when they're actually capable—they've learned, “Helping isn't my role,” because it got shut down earlier.Corey: Exactly. And I really feel that for parents because schedules are so busy and we're so rushed.But you don't have to do this all the time. It's okay if there are sometimes where there's a crunch. Pick times when it's a little more relaxed—maybe on weekends or when you have a bit more space.Sarah: Totally.And while we're talking about helping: this comes up a lot with parents I work with and in our membership. Parents will say, “I asked my kid to set the table and they said, ‘Why do I always have to do it?'”This happened the other day with a client. I asked, “What was your child doing when you asked?” And she said, “He was snuggled up on the couch reading a book.”And I was like: I can see how that's frustrating—you could use help getting the table ready. But let's zoom out.Modeling might look like: “Okay, you're tired. You've had a long day at school. You're snuggled up reading. I'll set the table right now.”Being gracious. Even if they refuse sometimes, it's okay to do it. But also, in that specific helping piece, we can look at the times when they help without being asked.When I give parents the assignment to look for that, every parent says, “Oh, I won't find any.” And then they come back and say, “Oh, I did find times.”So when they do help—carry groceries, help a sibling—how can you make them feel good about it?“Thank you. That saved so much time.” “I was going to help your brother but my hands were full—thank you.”Pro-social behavior is reinforced when it feels good.If you want them to help more, ask: “What would you like to do to help the family team?”Not, “This is your job forever.” More like, “I've noticed setting the table isn't a great time for you. What are some other things you could take on?” And if they don't have ideas, brainstorm what's developmentally appropriate.Often there are things kids would like to do that you've just never thought of.Corey: It's true. It's kind of like how adults divide jobs at home—often according to who likes what. But with kids we think, “I should just tell them what to do, and they should just do it.”It makes sense to work with what they like.Sarah: And also the flow of the family and schedule.That's why we never had chores in the strict sense. My kids helped out, but it was never “one person's job” to do the dishwasher or take out the garbage.Because inevitably I'd need the dishwasher emptied and that person wasn't home, or they were doing homework. And if I said, “Can you do the dishwasher?” someone could say, “That's not my job—that's my brother's job.”So instead, if I needed something done, whoever was around: “Hey, can you take the garbage out?” I tried to keep it relatively equal, but it wasn't a rigid assignment. And I think that helped create the family team idea.Corey: Yes.Sarah: And that “it's someone's job” thing is that individualism again.You hear this: “Can you clean that up?” and if you haven't been modeling cleaning up messes that aren't your own, you might hear, “Well, I didn't make that mess.”But if you model: if they make a mess and you say, “Can you pick up your crayons?” and they're like, “No,” then you can say, “Okay, sure, I'll pick up the crayons for you,” and they have the experience of seeing someone clean up a mess that isn't theirs.They're more likely to absorb: “Oh, yeah, I can help with messes that aren't mine.”Corey: I've really seen this play out in my house this winter. One child loves shoveling. The second there's any snow, he's like, “Time for me to shovel.” It doesn't matter if it's early morning or dark out—he's out there shoveling.And I've been blown away, because first of all, I do not like shoveling. It's genuinely helpful.But he'll also be looking out for when the plow comes by—this doesn't happen where you live on the island, but for lots of people: the plow makes a wall at the end of the driveway. Even if you already shoveled, you have a new wall.He'll keep looking: “Just watching out for the plow.” Like a little old man. The second it happens, he's out there so everyone can leave the house as needed.And he's even admitted, “There are lots of jobs I don't like, but I really love doing this. This is something I can do for everybody.”Sarah: That's so great. That's a perfect example of letting them choose something that helps the family.In terms of flexibility—doing things for them—how have you seen that play out? Because for me, when my kids were small, they did very little. We'd do “Let's all tidy up,” but maybe they'd pick up three things and I'd pick up most of the things. We'd do a 10-minute tidy.Mostly I did dishes, setting and clearing the table, all of that. But then I found that as they got older, they just started doing it.And I never got into power struggles because, honestly, it was often easier to do it myself. Maybe that worked out because I didn't have a grand vision—I just lived it, and then I saw them grow into doing a lot as they got older.What about you? How are you seeing that balance between what you do for them and how you see them growing?Corey: I'd say this is where you really have to have faith. Something that maybe wasn't modeled for us.This comes up with clients all the time: they get anxious—“They're never going to clean up, they're never going to be helpful, they'll be entitled.” They get stuck in “never” because it's not happening right away.So when I tell people: invite them, and if they don't want to do it, say something like, “You don't want to do it this time. I'm sure you'll do it next time.”But mean it—not passive-aggressive. Not “I'm sure you'll do it next time” as a threat. Actually mean: “I'm sure you'll do it next time,” and then go about it with trust that they will eventually do it.You're holding space. You're not being anxious about it.Sarah: Yes—holding space, having faith.Corey: And I think it's giving ourselves—and the parents we work with—a permission slip.You can tidy up for them without being angry about it. If you're doing this like, “No one helps me,” that's not going to work.You have to truly trust the goodness of your children—that they'll want to be like this.Sarah: Yeah.And I think some of it comes down to how we treat other adults.If your partner normally does the dishes and says, “I'm exhausted from work,” hopefully there's give-and-take. You pick up slack when they're tired.A lot of this is: how do you want to be treated? How do you treat other adults? And how can you work on treating kids the same way?So often we don't treat kids the way we treat adults. And sometimes that's appropriate. But often it's just a lack of respect.I saw a comedy skit once where these moms were sitting around drinking wine, and at first it was normal, and then one goes to reach for the bottle and another slaps her hand: “You haven't finished what you have in your glass. Finish what you have first.”Someone interrupts, and the other says, “I was still speaking. Wait until I'm done speaking.”And you're like: oh my gosh, that's what people do to kids all the time. If you see an adult do it to another adult, it's funny—but it's also jarring because it's considered normal when people do it to kids.Kids aren't always seen as having the same rights or deserving the same respect as adults.Corey: Yes. And I think Iris Chen talks about this. You did a podcast with her back in season one—adultism.Sarah: Yes, adultism—like racism or sexism, but adultism: prioritizing adults' needs and rights over children's.Corey: And that really stood out to me. If we treat them like the beautiful little people they are—not “just children,” but people—that goes a long way in what we're talking about today.Sarah: Yeah.And the last big point is how this works with values.Corey: We hear this a lot: parents get worried about values. They really value the environment and worry their kids aren't living those values.Like a parent who was upset their kids were buying candy made with palm oil because of how it's harvested. “Why don't my kids care?”If we get preachy—“We can't buy candy with palm oil,” “We only buy thrifted clothes”—it can turn into, “You're trying to control me,” and then kids push the other way.Versus if we live those values and give them room to play with them and figure out where they land, they tend to be more open—and more interested in the why.A strange example from this weekend: I don't really like those disposable hand warmers because you can only use them once. I prefer things we can use multiple times.It was supposed to be really cold, so I was like, “Okay, I guess I'll buy them.” I didn't say anything weird about it. We used them.At the end of the day, he had to throw them out, and he goes, “I don't feel great about this. It was helpful, but I don't know if it was helpful enough that we have to throw this in the garbage now.”And I was like: that's exactly how I feel. But I didn't get preachy. He was able to think about it himself.So even with values, we live them. If kids aren't agreeing with our values, sometimes we have to give space and pull back. When someone's pushing something on you, you often feel like not complying.Sarah: Yeah. It becomes a power struggle.And I do think there's a difference between pushing and educating. You can give them information in an age-appropriate way, and you can say, “You can buy that with your own money, but I don't want to support that, so I'm not going to.”Not in a way that makes them feel terrible. Just: “These are my values.”I've said this to my kids. Maxine was maybe 14 and said, “My phone's broken. I need a new phone.”I said, “What's wrong?” She said, “My music library keeps going away and I have to download it.”I started laughing and said, “That's not enough to get a new phone.” I said, “My values are we use electronics until they're broken. We don't get a new phone because of a little glitch.”You should see our minivan—it's scraped up and old-looking. Maxine actually said we're going somewhere with her boyfriend and his mom, and she said, “Can you please ask my boyfriend's mother to drive?”I said, “Why?” And she said, “Our car is so embarrassing.”And I'm like, “It works great. We drive our cars into the ground.” That's our family value.And then last year, Maxine's phone screen actually broke. She wanted a new phone, and I said, “My values—because of e-waste—are that I'd get it fixed if I were you. But I promise I won't judge you if you want a new phone. Do what feels right for you.”No guilt-tripping. And she chose to fix the screen instead of buying a new phone.So these are examples—like your hand warmers—where we can give the information without being heavy. And they usually absorb our values over time.Corey: Because it's not just that moment—it's hundreds of interactions.And that's actually empowering: you don't need one big conversation. You get to show them these little things throughout life.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Corey: I mean, if we're talking about phones, goodness gracious—how long have I needed a new phone?Sarah: I know. I've been wanting you to get a new phone so you can post Reels for me.Corey: They're like, “Corey, maybe you've taken this too far.” But I don't know—the modeling I've given my children is that you can make a dead phone last for two extra years.Sarah: And I like your point: it's all of these interactions over and over again.The opposite of what we're talking about is you can't tell your kids not to be materialistic if you go out and buy things you don't need. You can't tell them people are more important than phones if you're on your phone all the time.You really have to think about it. That's why that “Do as I say, not as I do” sometimes gets used—because it's hard. It's hard to be the person you want your kids to be.And it keeps us honest: who do we want to be? Who do we want them to be?Corey: I mean, it's that moment when I stood there holding the shovel and I was like, “Ah. I see.”So we can see this as a beautiful thing for our own growth, too, because we're going to keep realizing how much it matters.Caveat, though: I don't want parents to listen and feel pressure—like every moment they're being watched and they must be perfect.Because this is also a chance to model messing up and making repairs. So don't take this as: you have to be perfect.Sarah: And the other thing: if you're listening and you're like, “Why do I have to do everything around here? Sarah and Corey are saying clean up your kids' messes, carry things for them, do the chores…”I'm not saying every parent should be a martyr and never get help.Remember what I said: where can your kids help? What are they already doing? What could they choose?And I think I also let a lot of stuff go. My parents once came to visit and said, “Sarah, we really admire how you choose to spend time with your kids instead of cleaning up your house.”I was like, I think that was a backhanded compliment. And also them noticing it was kind of a mess.It wasn't terrible or dirty. It was just: I didn't have a perfect house, and I did everything myself.I did a lot myself, but I didn't do all the things some people think they need to do.Corey: That totally makes sense. You're basically saying: what can you let go of, too?Sarah: Yeah. For the sake of the relationship.And I think the last thing I wanted us to talk about is: does this ever not work?You and I were thinking about objections.If you're living this way—gracious, helpful, flexible, modeling who you want them to be—you're putting deposits in the Goodwill Bank. Your connection increases. They care what you think because that Goodwill Bank is nice and beefy.The only time you could say it wouldn't work is if you didn't have a good relationship. But if you're doing all this, it builds relationship—so I don't even think you can say, “This doesn't work.”Nobody's perfect. There were plenty of times I asked my kids to do things and they were grumpy, or I had to ask 10 times. It wasn't like, “Of course, Mom, let me empty the dishwasher.” They were normal kids. But in general, if you trust the process and maturation, your kids move in that direction.Corey: I'd add one other thing: it wouldn't work if this is all you're doing, with nothing else.Sometimes people think peaceful parenting is passive, and what we're saying can sound passive: “Just be who you want them to be.”But there are also times you need to do something. Like we said: if you're being the person you want to be and they're never helping, there's also a conversation: “What do you like to do?” There are collaborative steps.This is the big philosophy—embodying who you want them to be—but there are also practical supports and conversations that help them be successful.Sarah: Totally.And the last thing is: remember this happens over time. Trust the growth process and maturation and brain development.Remember that when they're little, their agenda is not your agenda. And as they get older, they start to see the benefits: “Oh yeah, it is nice when the living room's tidied up.”When they're little, they don't have the same agenda as you. That's a lot of why you get, “No, you do it.”And I actually can't believe I didn't say this earlier, but a lot of times when we're doing things for kids, they feel it as nurturing.So sometimes when they don't want to help, it's their way of saying, “I want to make sure you're taking care of me.” Sometimes that can look like refusal or not wanting to do things themselves.Corey: Yeah, absolutely.Sarah: Thanks, Corey.Corey: Thank you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Bernice is already thinking about Valentine's Day and what she wants to do for her friend Bobby. She talks to Papa Bear, and they make a plan for after school, but when Bernice gets home, her plans have changed. Will there be cookies in the plan?  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

After the failed stakeout the gang realizes they need to try something else. They think that maybe they were so busy looking for someone suspicious that they missed the actual person who was doing something normal. Red and the Gang plan to get together and figure out a new plan. Who could be leaving the notes? ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Bernice has a day off from school because it has snowed so much that no one can go anywhere. She is pretty surprised at first, but then spends her morning outside shovelling with Papa and Ethans Grandmother. After a day in the snow she is pretty tired at nighttime.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie Kimball of Raising Healthy Families. We discussed getting kids in the kitchen and getting them to love cooking, raising teenagers and why they are wonderful, managing screens at different ages, and what kind of skills kids need to become independent, well-rounded and self-sufficient once they leave our homes.Make sure to check out Katie's course Teens Cook Real Food! **If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!We talk about:* [00:00] Introduction to the episode and guest Katie Kimball; overview of topics (cooking, teens, life skills, screens)* [00:01] Katie's background: former teacher, mom of four, and how her work evolved into teaching kids and teens to cook* [00:04] Why the teen years are actually great; what teens need developmentally (agency and autonomy)* [00:08] Beneficial risk and safe failure; how building competence early reduces anxiety later* [00:10] Getting kids into cooking: start small, build confidence, and let them cook food they enjoy* [00:16] Cooking as a life skill: budgeting, independence, and preparing for adulthood* [00:21] Screen time: focusing on quality (consumptive vs. creative vs. social) instead of just limits* [00:25] Practical screen strategies used in Katie's family* [00:28] Motivating teens to cook: future-casting and real-life relevance (first apartment, food costs)* [00:33] Teens Cook Real Food course: what it teaches and why Katie created it* [00:37] Fun foods teens love making (pizza, tacos)* [00:39] Where to find Katie and closing reflectionsResources mentioned in this episode:* Teens Cook Real Food Course https://raisinghealthyfamilies.com/PeacefulParenting* Evelyn & Bobbie bras: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/bra* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/yoto* The Peaceful Parenting Membership https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership* How to Stop Fighting About Video Games with Scott Novis: Episode 201 https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/how-to-stop-fighting-about-video-games-with-scott-novis-episode-201/Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/* Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup* YouTube: Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet @peacefulparentingwithsarah4194* Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com* Join us on Substack: https://substack.com/@sarahrosensweet* Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.phpxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team-click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HEREPodcast Transcript:Sarah: Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Katie Kimball of Raising Healthy Families. She has been helping parents feed their kids and, more recently—in the past few years—teach their kids to cook. We had a great conversation about getting kids in the kitchen and getting them to love cooking, and also about raising teenagers and what kind of skills kids need to become independent. We also talked about screens, because any parent of a teenager who also supports other parents—I want to hear about what they do with getting kids to be less screen-focused and screen-dependent.Katie had some great tips in all of these areas, including cooking, feeding our families, and screens. In some ways, we're just talking about how do we raise kids who are independent, well-rounded, and have the skills they need to live independently—and those things all come into play.I hope that you really enjoy this conversation with Katie as much as I did. Let's meet Katie.Hi, Katie. Welcome to the podcast.Katie: Thank you so much, Sarah. I'm honored to talk to your audience.Sarah: I'm so excited to talk to you about teenagers, raising teenagers, life skills, screens—there are so many things to dive into. You seem like a very multifaceted person with all these different interests. Tell us about who you are and what you do.Katie: I do have a little bit of a squirrel brain, so I'm constantly doing something new in business. That means I can talk about a lot of things. I've been at the parenting game for 20 years and in the online business world for 17. I'm a teacher by trade and a teacher by heart, but I only taught in the classroom for about two years before I had my kids. I thought, “I can't do both really, really well,” so I chose the family, left the classroom, and came home.But my brain was always in teacher mode. As I was navigating the path and the journey of, “How do I feed these tiny humans?”—where every bite counts so much—I was really walking that real-food journey and spending a lot of time at the cutting board. My brain was always going, “How can I help other moms make this path easier?” I made so many mistakes. I burned so much food. There's so much tension around how you balance your budget with your time, with the nutrition, and with all the conflicting information that's flying at us.So I felt like I wanted to stand in the middle of that chaos and tell moms, “Listen, there's some stuff you can do that does it all—things that are healthy, save time, and save money.” That's kind of where I started teaching online.Then I shifted to kids' cooking. For the last 10 years, I've been sort of the kids' cooking cheerleader of the world, trying to get all kids in the kitchen and building confidence. It's really been a journey since then. My kids currently are 20, 17, 14, and 11, so I'm in the thick of it.Sarah: We have a very similar origin story: former teacher, then mom, and a brain that doesn't want to stop working. I went with parent coaching, and you went with helping parents with food and cooking, so that's exciting.I can tell from what I've learned about you offline that you love teenagers—and I love teenagers too. We have people in the audience who have teenagers and also people who have littler kids. I think the people with littler kids are like, “I don't want my kids to grow up. I've heard such bad things about teenagers.” What do you want people to know about teenagers? What are some things that you've learned as the mom of younger kids and then teens?Katie: It's such a devastating myth, Sarah, that teens are going to be the awful part of your parenting career—the time you're not supposed to look forward to, the time you have to slog through, and it's going to be so difficult.It's all difficult, right? Don't let anyone tell you parenting's easy—they're lying. But it's so worth it, and it's so great. I love parenting teens. I love conversing with them at such a much higher level than talking to my 11-year-old, and I love watching what they can do. You see those glimpses of what they'll be like when they're a dad, or when they're running around an office, or managing people. It's incredible to be so close. It's like the graduation of parenting. It's exciting.That's what I would want to tell parents of kids younger than teens: look forward to it.I do think there are some things you can do to prepare for adolescence and to make it smoother for everyone. I like to talk about what teens need. We want to parent from a place of what teens developmentally need, and they really need agency and autonomy at that stage. They're developmentally wired to be pushing away—to be starting to make the break with their adults, with that generation that we are in. Sometimes that's really painful as the grown-up. It almost feels like they're trying to hurt us, but what they're really doing is trying to push us away so it doesn't hurt them so badly when they know they need to leave.As parents, it helps to sit with the knowledge that this is not personal. They do not hate me. They're attempting to figure out how to sever this relationship. So what can we do to allow them to do that so they don't have to use a knife? If we can allow them to walk far enough away from us and still be a safe haven they can come home to, the relationship doesn't have to be severed. It just gets more distant and longer apart.When they want independence and autonomy, we need to make sure we give it to them. My tip for parents of younger kids is that, especially around ages 8, 10, 11—depending on maturity level—where can we start providing some agency? My team will say, “Katie, don't say agency. It sounds like you're talking about the FBI or some government letters.” But it's the best word, because agency isn't just choices—it's choices plus control, plus competence to be able to make change in your own life, in your own environment.We can't have agency unless we give our kids skills to actually be able to do something. The choice between “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?” is for toddlers. That's not going to be enough once they're in the stage where their mind is growing and they can critically think. We want to give our kids skills, responsibilities, choices, and some ownership over their lives. That starts in upper elementary school, and it gets bigger and bigger.Sarah: I would argue it starts even earlier. Toddlers can make the red cup or blue cup choice, and as they keep going, you can give them more and more agency.One of my favorite parenting people, Alfie Kohn, says that kids should have the power to make decisions that make us gulp a little bit.Katie: Oh, I love that.Sarah: I think that's true. We come up against our own anxiety too: What if they make the wrong decision? But it's incremental, so the decisions become bigger and bigger as they get older. That's how they practice being able to make good decisions—through experience.Katie: We know statistically that anxiety right now is spiking massively that first year out of high school—where young adults are heading into the world, either to university or for a first job. One theory—one I would get behind—is that everything of adulthood, all the responsibilities, are crashing on their shoulders at once, and they haven't experienced that level of responsibility. Sometimes they haven't had opportunities to fail safely, and they don't know what to do.Sometimes we think we're pushing problems out of their way and that it's helpful, but we're really creating bigger problems down the road. So with that long-term perspective, I love that “gulp.” We've got to let them try and fail and hold back.Sarah: Do you know Lenore Skenazy, who started the Free Range Kids movement? She has a TED Talk that came out recently where she talks about how she attributes the rise in anxiety to the fact that kids never have any unwatched time by adults. They never have room and space to figure out their own way to make things work. Of course, I don't think anyone's saying we should inappropriately not supervise our kids, but they need more freedom. If they don't have freedom to figure things out on their own, that's where the anxiety comes in.Katie: For sure. When Lenore and I have interacted, she likes to call it “beneficial risk.” Climbing the tree is the classic example, but because I love to get kids and teens in the kitchen, we got to talk about the beneficial risk of using sharp knives and playing with fire—literally returning to our ancestral roots.The way I see it, and the way I've seen it played out in my own home: I taught my now 20-year-old to use a chef's knife at age 10. He built competency. He took risks. He discovered how he wanted to navigate in the kitchen. So when he was 15 and getting his driver's permit, I felt pretty peaceful. I thought, “He's so mature. I've seen him make good decisions. He's practiced taking beneficial risks.”I felt confident handing him the driver's license. When it came time for him to get a cell phone—first a kid-safe phone and then a fully unlocked smartphone—I felt like we had been building up to it because of our work in the kitchen. I think he did better than his peers with taking appropriate risks driving a car and having a smartphone in his pocket, because he'd had practice.Sarah: And that was in the kitchen for your family.Katie: Yes.Sarah: Cooking is one of my special interests. I love to cook. My kids love baking. They were never that interested in cooking, although they all can cook and they do cook for themselves. My 21-year-old who has his own apartment has started sending me pictures of the food that he makes. He made some baked chicken thighs with mushrooms the other day, and a green salad. He sent me a picture and I said to my daughter, “Do you want to see a picture of Asa's chicken?” And she said, “Asa got a chicken?” She was picturing it running around. We all laughed so hard because I wouldn't put it past him, honestly.When my kids were younger, they weren't that interested. Maybe I could have gotten them more interested in the cooking part, but I always felt like that was my thing. What tips do you have—for any ages—about how to get kids interested and involved? You said your son was using a chef's knife at age 10. What are some ways to involve kids and get them interested in that skill?Katie: Knives are a great start because they're scary and they're fun—especially for guys. You get to use something dangerous. My second son, John, asked to learn to use a chef's knife, so he learned to use a sharp paring knife at age four and asked to level up to a chef's knife at age seven.For parents of kids who are still in that intrinsic motivation phase—“I want to help”—the good news is you don't have to try. You just have to say yes. You just have to figure out what can my brain handle letting this little person do in the kitchen. If it's “I'm going to teach them to measure a teaspoon of salt,” then do it. Don't let cooking feel like this big to-do list item. It's just one teaspoon of salt.Can I teach them to crack an egg? Can I teach them to flip a pancake? Think of it as one little skill at a time. That's what cooking is: building blocks. If it's something like measuring, you don't have to have them in your elbow room. You can send them to the table; they can have a little spill bowl. Then you can build their motivation by complimenting the meal: “This meal tastes perfect. I think it's the oregano—who measured the oregano?” That's how we treat little ones.The medium-sized ones are a little tougher, and teens are tougher yet. For the medium-sized ones, the best way to get them involved is to create a chance for authentic praise that comes from outside the family—meaning it's not you or your co-parent; it's some other adult. If you're going to a party or a potluck, or you're having people over, figure out how to get that kid involved in one recipe. Then you say to the other adults, “Guess who made the guacamole?” That was our thing—our kids always made the guac when they were little. And other adults say, “What? Paul made the guacamole? That's amazing. This is awesome.” The 10-year-old sees that and blooms with pride. It makes them more excited to come back in the kitchen, feel more of that, and build more competency.Sarah: I love that. That's an invitation, and then it makes them want to do more because it feels good. We talk about that in peaceful parenting too: a nice invitation and then it becomes a prosocial behavior you want to do more of.I started cooking because I wanted to make food that I liked. I'm old enough that I took Home Ec in middle school, and it was my favorite class. I think about my Home Ec teacher, Mrs. Flanagan, my whole adult life because I learned more from her that I still use than from any other teacher. I remember figuring out how to make deep-fried egg rolls in grade seven because I loved egg rolls. You couldn't just buy frozen egg rolls then. So I think food that kids like can be a good way in. Is that something you find too?Katie: One hundred percent. If you're cooking things they don't like, you get the pushback: “Mom, I don't like…” So it's like, “Okay, I would love to eat your meal. What do you want to eat?” And it's not, “Tell me what you want and I'll cook it.” If you meal plan, you get to make all the choices.My kids have been interviewed, and people often ask, “What's your favorite thing about knowing how to cook?” My kids have gotten pretty good at saying, “We get to cook what we like.” It's super motivating.Sarah: When I was growing up, my sister and I each had to make dinner one night a week starting when I was in grade five and she was in grade three. We could make anything we wanted, including boxed Kraft Dinner. I can't remember what else we made at that young age, but it was definitely, “You are cooking dinner, and you get to make whatever you want.”Katie: Why didn't you do that with your own kids, out of curiosity?Sarah: It just seemed like it would take too much organization. I think we tried it a couple times. Organization is not my strong suit. Often dinner at our house—there were lots of nights where people had cereal or eggs or different things for dinner. I love to cook, but I like to cook when the urge hits me and I have a recipe I want to try. I'm not seven nights a week making a lovely dinner.Also, dinner was often quite late at my house because things always take longer than I think. I'd start at six, thinking it would take an hour, and it would be 8:30 by the time dinner was ready. I remember one night my middle son was pouring himself cereal at 6:30. I said, “Why are you having cereal? Dinner's almost ready.” He said, “Mom, it's only 6:30.” He expected it later—that's the time normal people eat dinner.My kids have a lot of freedom, but nobody was particularly interested in cooking. And, to be honest, it felt a bit too early as a responsibility when my sister and I had to do it. Even though I'm glad now that I had those early experiences, it was wanting to make egg rolls that made me into a cook more than being assigned dinner in grade five.Katie: That push and pull of how we were parented and how we apply it now is so hard.Sarah: Yes.Katie: I'm thinking of an encouraging story from one of the families who's done our brand-new Teens Cook Real Food. The mom said it was kind of wild: here they were cooking all this real food and it felt intensive. Over the years she'd slid more into buying processed foods, and through the class, watching her teens go through it, she realized, “Oh my gosh, it's actually not as hard as I remember. I have to coach myself.” They shifted into cooking with more real ingredients, and it wasn't that hard—especially doing it together.Sarah: It's not that hard. And you hear in the news that people are eating a lot of fast food and processed food. I'm not anti-fast food or processed food, but you don't want that to be the only thing you're eating. It's actually really easy to cook some chicken and rice and broccoli, but you have to know how. That's why it's so sad Home Ec has gone by the wayside. And honestly, a whole chicken, some rice, and broccoli is going to be way cheaper than McDonald's for a family of four. Cooking like that is cheaper, not very hard, and healthier than eating a lot of fast food or processed food.Katie: Conversations in the kitchen and learning to cook—it's kind of the gateway life skill, because you end up with conversations about finances and budgeting and communication and thinking of others. So many life skills open up because you're cooking.You just brought up food budget—that could be a great half-hour conversation with a 16- or 17-year-old: “You won't have infinite money in a couple years when you move out. You'll have to think about where you spend that money.” It's powerful for kids to start thinking about what it will be like in their first apartment and how they'll spend their time and money.Sarah: My oldest son is a musician, and he's really rubbing his pennies together. He told me he makes a lot of soups and stews. He'll make one and live off it for a couple days. He doesn't follow a recipe—he makes it up. That's great, because you can have a pretty budget-friendly grocery shop.I also don't want to diss anyone who's trying to keep it all together and, for them, stopping by McDonald's is the only viable option at this moment. No judgment if you're listening and can't imagine having the capacity to cook chicken and rice and broccoli. Maybe someday, or maybe one day a week on the weekend, if you have more time and energy.Katie: The way I explain it to teens is that learning to cook and having the skills gives you freedom and choices. If you don't have the skills at all, you're shackled by convenience foods or fast food or DoorDash. But if you at least have the skills, you have many more choices. Teens want agency, autonomy, and freedom, so I speak that into their lives. Ideally, the younger you build the skills, the more time you have to practice, gain experience, and get better.There's no way your older son could have been making up soups out of his head the first month he ever touched chicken—maybe he's a musician, so maybe he could apply the blues scale to cooking quickly—but most people can't.Sarah: As we're speaking, I'm reflecting that my kids probably did get a lot of cooking instruction because we were together all the time. They would watch me and they'd do the standing on a chair and cutting things and stirring things. It just wasn't super organized.That's why I'm so glad you have courses that can help people learn how to teach their children or have their kids learn on their own.I promised we would talk about screens. I'm really curious. It sounds like your kids have a lot of life skills and pretty full lives. Something I get asked all the time is: with teens and screens, how do you avoid “my kid is on their phone or video games for six or seven hours a day”? What did you do in your family, and what thoughts might help other people?Katie: Absolutely. Parenting is always hard. It's an ongoing battle. I think I'm staying on the right side of the numbers, if there are numbers. I feel like I'm launching kids into the world who aren't addicted to their phones. That's a score, and it's tough because I work on screens. I'm telling parents, “Buy products to put your kids on screen,” so it's like, “Wait.”I don't look at screens as a dichotomy of good or bad, but as: how do we talk to our kids about the quality of their time on screens?Back in 2020, when the world shut down, my oldest, Paul, was a freshman. His freshman year got cut short. He went weeks with zero contact with friends, and he fell into a ton of YouTube time and some video games. We thought, “This is an unprecedented time, but we can't let bad habits completely take over.”We sat down with him and said, “Listen, there are different kinds of screen time.” We qualified them as consumptive—everything is coming out of the screen at you—creative—you're making something—and communicative—you're socializing with other people.We asked him what ways he uses screens. We made a chart on a piece of paper and had him categorize his screen time. Then we asked what he thought he wanted his percentage of screen time to be in those areas—without evaluating his actual time yet. He assigned those times, and then we had him pay attention to what reality was. Reality was 90 to 95% consumptive. It was an amazing lightbulb moment. He realized that to be an agent of his own screen time, he had to make intentional choices.He started playing video games with a buddy through the headphones. That change completely changed his demeanor. That was a tough time.So that's the basis of our conversation: what kind of screen time are you having?For my 11-year-old, he still has minute limits: he sets a timer and stops himself. But if he's playing a game with someone, he gets double the time. That's a quantitative way to show him it's more valuable to be with someone than by yourself on a screen. A pretty simple rule.We'll also say things like, “People over screens.” If a buddy comes over and you're playing a video game, your friend is at the door.That's also what I talk to parents about with our classes: this isn't fully consumptive screen time. We highly edit things. We try to keep it engaging and fun so they're on for a set number of minutes and then off, getting their fingers dirty and getting into the real world. We keep their brains and hands engaged beyond the screen. The only way I can get a chef into your home is through the screen—or you pay a thousand dollars.We can see our screen time as really high quality if we make the right choices. It's got to be roundabout 10, 11, 12: pulling kids into the conversation about how we think about this time.Sarah: I love that. It sounds like you were giving your kids tools to look at their own screen time and how they felt about it, rather than you coming from on high and saying, “That's enough. Get off.”Katie: Trying.Sarah: I approach it similarly, though not as organized. I did have limits for my daughter. My sons were older when screens became ubiquitous. For my daughter, we had a two-hour limit on her phone that didn't include texting or anything social—just Instagram, YouTube, that kind of stuff. I think she appreciated it because she recognized it's hard to turn it off.We would also talk about, “What else are you doing today?” Have you gone outside? Have you moved your body? Have you done any reading? All the other things. And how much screen time do you think is reasonable? Variety is a favorite word around here.Katie: Yes. So much so my 11-year-old will come to me and say, “I've played outside, I've read a book, my homework is done. Can I have some screen time?” He already knows what I'm going to ask. “Yes, Mom, I've had variety.” Then: “Okay, set a timer for 30 minutes.”I have a 14-year-old freshman right now. He does not own a phone.Sarah: Oh, wow. I love that.Katie: In modern America, he knows the pathway to get a phone—and he doesn't want one.Sarah: That's great. I hope we see that more and more. I worry about how much kids are on screens and how much less they're talking to each other and doing things.I had a guest on my podcast who's a retired video game developer. His thing is how to not fight with your kid about video games. One thing he recommends is—even more than playing online with someone else—get them in the same room together. Then they can play more. He has different time rules if you're playing in person with kids in your living room than if you're playing alone or playing online with someone else.Katie: Nice. Totally. My story was from COVID times.Sarah: Yes, that wasn't an option then. Someone I heard say the other day: “Can we just live in some unprecedented times, please?”Katie: Yes, please.Sarah: You mentioned the intrinsic motivation of somebody admiring their guacamole. What are your tips for kids—especially teens—who think they're too busy or just super uninterested in cooking?Katie: Teens are a tough species. Motivation is a dance. I really encourage parents to participate in future casting. Once they're about 15, they're old enough. Academically, they're being future-casted all the time: “What are you going to be when you grow up?” They're choosing courses based on university paths. But we need to future-cast about real life too.Ask your 15-year-old: “Have you ever thought about what it'll be like to be in your first apartment?” Maybe they haven't. That helps reduce that first-year-out-of-home anxiety—to have imagined it. Then they might realize they have gaps. “Would you be interested in making sure you can cook some basic stuff for those first years? When you're cooking at home, it's my money you waste if you screw up.” That can be motivating. “I'm here to help.”Sometimes it comes down to a dictate from above, which is not my favorite. Your sister and you were asked to cook at third and fifth grade. I agree that might be a little young for being assigned a full meal. We start around 12 in our house. But by high school, there's really no reason—other than busy schedules. If they're in a sport or extracurricular daily, that can be rough. So what could they do? Could they make a Sunday brunch? We come home from church every Sunday and my daughter—she's 17, grade 12—she's faster than I am now. She'll have the eggs and sausage pretty much done. I'm like, “I'm going to go change out of my church clothes. Thanks.”If we're creative, there's always some time and space. We have to eat three times a day. Sometimes it might be: “You're old enough. It's important as a member of this household to contribute. I'm willing to work with you on really busy weeks, but from now on, you need to cook on Saturday nights.” I don't think that has to be a massive power struggle—especially with the future casting conversation. If you can get them to have a tiny bit of motivation—tiny bit of thinking of, “Why do I need this?”—and the idea of “If I cook, I get to make what I want,” and the budget.Sarah: The budget too: if you're living in your own apartment, how much do you think rent is? How much do you think you can eat for? It's way more expensive to order out or get fast food than to cook your own food.Katie: I feel so proud as a fellow mom of your son, Asa, for making soups and stuff. In Teens Cook Real Food, we teach how to make homemade bone broth by taking the carcass of a chicken. It's a very traditional skill. On camera, I asked the girls who did it with me to help me figure out what their dollar-per-hour pay rate was for making that, compared to an equal quality you buy in the store. Bone broth at the quality we can make is very expensive—like $5 a cup.They did the math and their hourly pay was over $70 an hour to make that bone broth. Then they have gallons of bone broth, and I call it the snowball effect: you have all this broth and you're like, “I guess I'll make soup.” Soup tends to be huge batches, you can freeze it, and it snowballs into many homemade, inexpensive, nourishing meals.Sarah: I love that. You've mentioned your course a couple times—Teens Cook Real Food. I'm picturing that as your kids grew up, your teaching audience grew up too. Were there other reasons you wanted to teach teens how to cook?Katie: Yes. We've had our kids' cooking class for 10 years now. It just had its 10th birthday. The most often requested topic that's not included in the kids' class is meal planning and grocery shopping. It wasn't something I felt like an eight-year-old needed.For 10 years I had that seed of, “How can I incorporate those important skills of meal planning and grocery shopping?” Then my teens got older, and I thought, “I've told parents of teens that our kids' cooking class will work for them, but it's not enough. It wasn't sufficient.”It was so exciting to put this course together. Even just the thinking—the number of index cards I had on the floor with topics trying to figure out what a young adult needs in their first apartment, how to connect the skills, and how to make it engaging.We ended up with eight teens I hired from my local community—some with cooking experience, some with literally none. We had on-camera accidents and everything. But they learned to cook in my kitchen, and it's all recorded for your teens to learn from.Sarah: I love that. What are some of the recipes that you teach in the course?Katie: We have over 35. We spent a whole day with a chef. He started talking about flavor and how seasonings work, and he taught us the mother sauces—like a basic white sauce, both gluten-free and dairy-free, a couple ways to do that, and a basic red sauce, and a couple ways to do that.My favorite cheeky segment title is “How to Boil Water.” We have a bunch of videos on how to boil water—meaning you can make pasta, rice, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs, boiled potatoes. There's a lot of stuff that goes in water.Then we built on that with “How to Eat Your Vegetables.” We teach sautéing, steaming, and roasting. The first big recipe they learn is a basic sheet pan dinner. We use pre-cooked sausage and vegetables of your choice, seasonings of your choice. It's one of those meals where you're like, “I don't need a recipe. I can just make this up and put it in the oven.”Then, to go with pasta and red sauce, we teach homemade meatballs. We get them at the grill for steak and chicken and burgers. Of course we do French fries in a couple different ways.Choice is a huge element of this course. If we teach something, we probably teach it in two or three or four different ways, so teens can adapt to preferences, food sensitivities, and anything like that.We use the Instant Pot a lot in our “How to Eat Your Protein” segment. We do a pork roast and a beef roast and a whole chicken, and that broth I talked about, and we make a couple different soups with that.Sarah: You almost make me feel like I haven't had lunch yet.Katie: I'm starving, actually.Sarah: I'm quite an adventurous eater and cook, but I'm going to ask you about my two favorite foods—because they're like a child's favorite foods, but my favorite foods are pizza and tacos. Do you do anything with pizza and tacos in your course?Katie: We do both pizza and tacos.Sarah: Good!Katie: Our chef taught us, with that homemade red sauce, to make homemade dough. He said, “I think we should teach them how to make a homemade brick oven and throw the pizzas into the oven.” Throwing means sliding the pizza off a pizza peel onto bricks in your oven. I was like, “We're going to make such a mess,” but they did it. It's awesome.Then we tested it at home: can you just make this in a normal pizza pan? Yes, you can—don't worry. You don't have to buy bricks, but you can. Again, there are different ways.Sarah: I think teenagers would love making pizza on bricks in the oven. For us we're like, “That seems like so much work.” But teenagers are enthusiastic and creative and they have so much energy. They're wonderful human beings. I can see how the brick oven pizza would be a great challenge for them.Katie: It's so fun. My kids, Paul and John—20 and 14—they've both done it at home. As adults we're like, “It's such a mess,” but we're boring people. Teenagers are not boring. So yes—definitely pizza.Sarah: That's awesome. We'll link to your course in the show notes. Before we let you go, where's the best place for people to go and find out more about you and what you do?Katie: Definitely: raisinghealthyfamilies.com/peacefulparenting. We're going to make sure there's always something about teens at that link—whether it's a free preview of the course or a parenting workshop from me. There will always be something exciting for parents there.Sarah: Amazing. It's been such a pleasure. I thought maybe I didn't do all this stuff, but considering how both of my sons who are independent cook for themselves all the time, I think I must have done okay—even if it was just by osmosis.Katie: That's the great thing about keeping your kids near you. That was your peaceful parenting: they were in the kitchen and they were there, as opposed to you booting them out of the kitchen. There are lots of ways.Sarah: My daughter is an incredible baker. She makes the best chocolate chip cookies. I have this recipe for muffin-tin donuts that are amazing, and she's a really great baker. She can find her way around a quesadilla, eggs, and ramen for herself. I think once she moves out, if she doesn't have mom's cooking anymore, she'll probably also be able to cook.Katie: Yes. And so many parents need that bridge. They're like, “My kids love to make cookies. They bake, but they won't shift to cooking.” I would hope that future-casting conversation could be a good bridge.Sarah: Yeah. You can't live on cookies—or you might think you can for a little while, but then you'd start to feel gross.Katie: Exactly.Sarah: Thanks a lot, Katie.Katie: Thank you so much, Sarah. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

In this dispatch, Yasmeen visits the National Zoo in Washington, DC to meet Nhi Linh, an Asian elephant who is about to have a baby. Learn more about Nhi Linh at the Smithsonian's National Zoo.Yasmeen Khan is a journalist in Brooklyn, New York. She loves learning about the world by interviewing people and asking lots of questions. She also loves to cook and bake, and is famous -- at least among her husband and two daughters -- for her homemade ice cream cakes.Thursday episode of Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yuki had a perfect life until Koro showed up. At least this week has been better since Koro has been at school. Yuki thinks things are great until Nico, her owner, calls her for breakfast, and she smells something really bad. ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

In tonight's bedtime story we meet Jennifer, Mikey, and a smart dog who might be able to understand English. Jennifer is sitting in her classroom when the principal arrives with a new student. The boy looks very quiet and shy and Jennifer starts to think about what she can do to make him feel more comfortable in this new school.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Un trajet en voiture, en train ou en avion avec des enfants… et si cela devenait un moment joyeux, serein et même porteur d'apprentissages ?Comment éviter l'ennui, l'agitation ou les écrans, pour transformer les déplacements en véritables temps de vie partagés ?Dans cet épisode, Sylvie d'Esclaibes, spécialiste de l'éducation depuis plus de 30 ans, nous partage ses meilleurs conseils pour occuper les enfants pendant les déplacements, en s'inspirant des principes Montessori : des activités simples, ludiques et adaptées qui rendent le voyage aussi enrichissant pour l'enfant… que plaisant pour les parents !Lorsque l'enfant est respecté dans ses besoins pendant le voyage, le trajet devient plus doux et agréable, aussi bien pour lui que pour les adultes qui l'entourent.Quelques enseignements clés :

Jake meets Formula 1 Engineer Will Joseph at McLaren Headquarters, the chief race car engineer for 2025 F1 winner Lando Norris!Tuesday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sunday games with Pema!Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Scott as he wraps up #CircuitPython2026, discusses Yoto hacking and tries to answer any questions folks have. 0:00 Getting setup 3:27 hello everyone - welcome to deep dive 4:05 yoto mini player has esp32 - running circuitpython from adafruit.com 6:00 Circuitpython 2026 6:40 CP 2026 on adafruit blog - ideas for CP development this year 7:50 Low Power solutions 8:49 local LLM ( RAG ) and MIDI 11:20 CP OTA ( over the air update ), thread, circuitmatter (over zigbee ), zepher has ethernet support( but not supporting esp32-P4 ) 14:52 web based build system, github runner, LLM code generation 17:12 async support for networking, preemptive RTOS, updating the getting started documentation, testing 24:00 WebDAV / web workflow 26:45 octo probe tentacles 29:00 VS Code may not have a future :-) 30:42 excited bout zephyr and audio support 32:02 Yoto ( yotoplay.com ) 33:20 getting the Yoto Mini "screen" to work - reverse engineering - dc9306 display - embeded json pinout 35:40 yoto booting Circuit python 37:50 speaker and album art on yoto 39:15 CP Web API screen 39:59 explore the on-device MMC card - browse over wifi 41:17 getting board definition for Yoto Player 43:22 mp3 files from bandcamp just play, also amazon has some 45:00 json to board definition - helped get firmware on yoto hardware 50:23 explore es8388 audio data sheet 52:30 claude code / prompt in sublime merge 54:43 updating the file 1:03:30 circuitpython resources 1:05:35 wrap up Visit the Adafruit shop online - http://www.adafruit.com ----------------------------------------- LIVE CHAT IS HERE! http://adafru.it/discord Subscribe to Adafruit on YouTube: http://adafru.it/subscribe New tutorials on the Adafruit Learning System: http://learn.adafruit.com/ -----------------------------------------

Dice of Destiny and more!Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie K. May, a licensed therapist and author of the book You're On Fire. It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors. We discussed children/teens who are “fire feelers”, why intense emotions can lead to risky behaviours, how to respond to self-harm urges, how to stay connected or rebuild your connection with your teen, and what parents of younger children can do now to prevent challenges in their teen years.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!We talk about:* 00:05 — What Is a Fire Feeler?* 00:06 — What Emotional Dysregulation Really Means* 00:07 — Fire Feelers Often Have Fire-Feeler Parents- Genetic and Environmental Components* 00:10 — Why Teens Are So Easily Overwhelmed* 00:12 — What Fire Feelers Do When Overwhelmed* 00:20 — How Parents Should Respond to Self-Harm Urges* 00:22 — When to Get Professional Help* 00:24 — Why Depression Looks Different in Teens* 00:25 — Teens Still Need Their Parents* 00:26 — How to Stay Connected to Teens* 00:28 — Judgment vs Validation* 00:31 — How to Rebuild Connection When Things Are Broken- Katie's Hierarchy of Connection* 00:34 — Sensitivity & Impulsivity* 00:35 — What Parents of Younger Kids Can Do Now* 00:37 — Why Control Works When Kids Are Young — and Fails Later* 00:38 — Why “Tough Love” Doesn't WorkResources mentioned in this episode:* Evelyn & Bobbie bras* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Get a free chapter of Katie's book * Katie's website Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HEREPodcast Transcript:Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Katie May. She's a therapist and the author of You're On Fire. It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors. We talked about why some teens are what she calls “fire feelers,” and about how best to support them—and ourselves—when emotional dysregulation is common, troubling, and can be destructive.If you don't have a teen yet, but you have a kiddo with big feelings, have a listen, because Katie also talks about what she wishes parents of younger kids knew so they didn't end up with these sorts of challenges down the road. Let's meet Katie.Sarah: Hi, Katie. Welcome to the podcast.Katie: Hey, Sarah. I'm glad to be here. Excited to talk about teens and parenting today—stuff I'm jazzed to share.Sarah: Me too. Yeah. And I loved your book. I'll ask you about that in a second—or maybe you can tell us who you are and what you do.Katie: Yeah. My name is Katie K. May. I'm a licensed therapist in Pennsylvania, and I lead a team of other therapists. We all specialize in working with high-risk teens and their parents. So every day, we're in the trenches working with teenagers who are suicidal, self-harming, have eating disorders, are not going to school, and we're helping them learn skills while also teaching their parents how to respond effectively—so the whole family is working together as a system in harmony.Sarah: And your book's called You're On Fire. It's Fine. I like it. My book—Katie: Go ahead.Sarah: No, it's a great title.Katie: Yeah. So I came to that title from this idea of biologically sensitive teens—or very sensitive teens—often feeling like they're on fire with their own emotions. And I can dig into any part of that. But the idea is that parents who are well-meaning will many times say things like, “You're fine. It's okay. Go take a nap. Go get a snack.” And it feels like a little squirt gun trying to put out this big fire of emotion. So I thought that title captured those two points initially, to bring people into the framework that I teach.Sarah: I love that. And it's funny—I had a different interpretation of the title, and my interpretation, now that you said what you meant it to be, I can totally see that. But my interpretation was more like, “You're on fire. You can handle these big feelings. It's fine.” Like, this is just—let's get used to feeling the feelings. So I guess it could be read either way.Katie: I like both interpretations, and I think your interpretation speaks to probably how you support and parent. It's nurturing and supportive of the process.Sarah: Yeah. So tell us: what is a fire feeler?Katie: A fire feeler is someone who is biologically sensitive. And what I mean by that is this is a kid who feels things very deeply. Their emotions are big and oftentimes overwhelming for them. And not just that—these are your zero-to-sixty-in-ten-seconds-flat kind of kids. They're reactive, they're easy to trigger, and when they're triggered and they're feeling their emotions in these very big ways, it also takes them a very long time to calm down or get back to their baseline.And this is important because if you think about that slow return to feeling settled or centered again, oftentimes they're being triggered again before they get back to that place of calm. And so they have a nervous system that's constantly in a state of dysregulation—constantly triggered and upset. And it is very hard to access safety or calm or feeling okay because of that.Sarah: And you mentioned emotional dysregulation, and in your book you have a very specific definition of emotional dysregulation. I thought it was a little more helpful and also a little bit more unusual. Can you give us your definition of emotional dysregulation?Katie: So when someone is emotionally dysregulated, when they are triggered, it sets off this chain of emotions for them. Again, we go back to this idea that they feel on fire with their emotions. They're often at this skills-breakdown point where it's difficult to access skills or to calm down. And when you're feeling on fire with your emotions, it makes sense that your brain comes up with escape strategies—things like self-harm, suicidal ideation, substance use—because it's so big and hard to hold that the brain would do anything to make those emotions go away.Sarah: I love that. And you also mentioned that people are biologically predisposed to be fire feelers, so I'm guessing that usually a teen's one or both parents are also fire feelers, which would add a complication to the mix.Katie: I would say so. I often find myself telling parents: some kids are born naturally good at sports. Some kids are born naturally good at music or art. And some kids are born naturally good at emotions—which means they're very attuned to emotional states or nuances in the emotions of others.And when we think about that as a genetic trait or a biological trait, it also makes sense that at least one of their parents carries this trait and is passing it down. And I think when I start to describe fire feelers—who they are and what it looks like—I regularly have at least one parent saying, “Oh, that's me,” or “That's you, honey.” They recognize it.Sarah: Totally. Yeah. So I guess that makes home more complicated too when you've got a fire feeler and a fire feeler trying to find their way together.Katie: It's almost like if you yawn and it's contagious—and the other person catches it. So if you have two people that are both biologically sensitive and they're in the same room, one of them is triggered, one of them has a high state of emotional activation, it's hard in general for another person in the room not to respond to that.So there's something that I teach. It's called the transactional model. So let's say a teenager is boiling over with frustration, and they're exhibiting it. They're bawling their fists. They're snapping back at their parent. The parent then absorbs that emotion and they're snapping back: “Don't talk to me like that,” or, “It's not okay for you to say that,” or “Don't walk away from me.” Which then influences how the teen responds. And then the teen will continue to push or yell back, which then influences how the parent responds.So we're always looking at: How is it that I am influencing how you respond? How is it that you are influencing how I respond? And if everybody feels their emotions in these very big ways, it's going to make that escalation that much bigger or faster because everyone's overwhelmed in their emotions.Sarah: So hard. I'm sure a lot of people listening can relate even when their kids aren't teenagers yet—because that happens with little kids too.Katie: Absolutely. It applies to all ages. I just happen to work with teenagers and parents.Sarah: Speaking of teens, you mentioned in your book that teenagers are more prone to overwhelm. Can you briefly explain why that is? Because I talk about that too. I always say, “The drama is real.”Katie: The drama is real. Thank you for saying that. So the way I look at it: teens are in this developmental state when so much is happening for them. They have unfully formed frontal lobes, which helps to regulate their emotions. They're also dealing with hormonal changes, developmental changes, social stressors, peer stressors. They're in school six hours a day, five days a week. There's so much stress that's placed on our teens.And so if we think about a stress cup holding stress, it's oftentimes just this one little extra drop that makes them lose control or makes them feel overwhelmed in their emotions. And I would say that's probably true for everyone—that we're all holding a lot, and it only takes a little to push us over the edge—but I think it's the brain development that makes it even more challenging.And then I'll add to that the lack of control or agency over their own lives. They don't have a lot of choice about what they do each day or what they have to do or who's telling them what to do. So there's a lot that's outside of their control, and that makes it even harder to control or manage their emotions.Sarah: I'm so glad you work with teenagers. You have such an empathetic view of what it's like to be a teenager, and I think a lot of people—just a little sidebar—teens get such a bad rap in our culture and they're so wonderful. I love teenagers. And also, I would never in a million years choose to go back to those years.Katie: I wouldn't either, but I do feel like I have a strong connection with the teen population. It's interesting—we run parent groups at my center, and that's a question that we'll ask: Do you remember being a teenager?And I think it's hard for a lot of adults to empathize with the teen experience. But being able to do so—being able to put yourself in a teenager's shoes—is going to help you support them so much more. Which is one of the things that I talk about in my book and in my work often: acceptance or validation before change. We always want to be understanding of the experience before we're trying to problem-solve or change that experience.Sarah: I want to ask you about validation a little bit later in our conversation, but before we get to that: what are some common reactions of fire feelers to overwhelm?Katie: Yeah. Some of those common reactions tend to be self-destructive because, again, if we think about this idea that fire feelers are overwhelmed with their emotions—the big, fiery, painful experience for them—it's not a conscious decision, but they would do anything to make that fire go out.So this could be self-harm. This could be thinking about suicide. This could also be lashing out at parents. It could be numbing out in front of the TV or scrolling on social media for hours because it hurts too much to feel and I need to numb myself from that. It could be cutting themselves off from friends because the experience of relationships is so painful.So a fire feeler will have a strong attunement to nuance and facial expressions and tones of voice. And so what might feel okay for one person, for a fire feeler might be interpreted as rejection or might be interpreted as “I did something wrong,” or “There's something wrong with me.” And so the natural response of a fire feeler is to do whatever it takes to protect themselves from being on fire.Sarah: I don't even know if I totally understand it—but how do, and I know a lot of people don't, how does self-harm bring relief to those feelings of overwhelm?Katie: So there's a biological response to it: when you self-harm—when one engages in a self-harm or self-destructive behavior—there is short-term relief. So if you think about emotions rising, rising, rising, what happens is it either blocks the escalation of those emotions, or it makes the emotional state come down quickly. It's body physiology.In addition to that, there are two parts to it. The first part is that it's called negative reinforcement, and that doesn't mean that something negative happens; it means it's the removal of something that's difficult. So that's what I just described. You self-harm, you start thinking about suicide—it becomes an escape. It helps you to feel a sense of relief.The second part of that is positive reinforcement, and that's the social piece. A parent finds out that I self-harmed, and all of a sudden I am given warmth. You're sitting on my bed. We're having a heart-to-heart. You're emailing the teacher to say that I don't have to go to school tomorrow.So there's this one-two stack of: I feel better in the moment because it brings my body physiology back into a state of balance or regulation. And then on top of that, I'm getting my social needs met. And therefore it makes it really hard to break that cycle because there are all of these—this chain reaction of things that happen—that make me go from feeling awful to okay, and sometimes even more supported than before.Sarah: That was such an interesting thing to read about in your book because I thought, “Oh man.” If I were a parent and had a teen that was self-harming, it would be so hard not to do that second part—the positive, what you call the positive reinforcement. So how do you support a teen without making it, “I self-harm and then I get a lot of really lovely warmth and attention”?Katie: Yeah. So it's not about removing the warmth and attention. It's about changing where you put that warmth and attention. Instead of it being directly after self-harm, maybe it's in structured and measured doses throughout the day.So maybe we're having a heart-to-heart in the morning. Maybe we're going out and spending time together or watching TV together just because—and not because I self-harmed.The other thing that I like to make sure that parents are familiar with and practiced with is how they respond when a teen shares an urge to self-harm or an urge for suicide. Because the way that it typically plays out—at least the first time a parent finds out about urges or that a behavior has happened—they're crushed. Of course. Their face falls. They're hurt. It hurts them to see that their child is hurting. They might cry. They might feel really anxious or helpless.But a teen that's witnessing that is interpreting that as, “My parent can't handle this information, and therefore I can't go to them with this information again.”And so the practice for parents is minding your tone—being calm—minding your face, being more like, “Thank you for trusting me,” than, “I'm going to fall apart right now,” and minding your pace—staying calm and regulated and not rushing forward or feeling frantic.And when we do this, what we communicate to our teens is: “I can handle this information. Therefore, in the future, you can come to me when you're having an urge and we can handle it together, rather than you taking care of it by acting on it—and then me finding out afterwards.”So that's how we change the cycle: structured and measured warmth, consistent support, ongoing—not just after an event—and also being able to handle the information, even if you're falling apart inside, because that is completely valid. But showing to your teen: “You're not going to freak me out. I'm not going to fall apart if you tell me the hard stuff. I'm here for you. Come to me and we'll handle it together.”Sarah: And find your own support elsewhere.Katie: One hundred percent. Yeah. Parents—I think any parent is going to need support, whether that's their village, their people, their partner, their friend, a therapist. Parenting alone is tough stuff, and I wouldn't recommend it.Sarah: And I should have asked you this earlier in the interview, but when—are there any signs? A parent finds out your kid is self-harming or telling you they have the urges—is it straightaway “get help,” or are there early stages you can handle it yourself as a parent? When is this 911 getting help, and when is it, “Okay, we're going to figure this out”?Katie: It's somewhere in the middle of “911” and “we're going to figure this out.” The stance would be: if your teen has already self-harmed, they need to be in therapy. It's beyond the point of handling it on your own.When you're noticing—it's such a tough line because on one hand there are these typical teen behaviors: “I'm going to spend more time in my room.” Teens are moodier. They're more irritable. They want less to do with parents. They're more private. They don't want to talk to parents. And so I don't want there to be an overreaction to typical teen behavior.But if we're starting to see a duration, intensity, and frequency of that behavior that's beyond typical—which, again, is going to look different depending on the child—my measure is usually: if my teen for two weeks is more tearful, more self-critical, more hopeless, not enjoying or engaging in activities that they used to—these are signs of depression. And that would be the point when I would want to engage more professional help to support in the process, because that's where we're going to start being proactive and head off escalation of crisis.What happens is—and especially for teenagers—the symptoms of depression can lead to self-harm because there's an overwhelm of that emotion. There's a sense of hopelessness. Suicidal thoughts are one of the descriptors of the diagnosis of depression. We don't want it to get to that point. We want to put help in place sooner.Sarah: That makes sense. I read something the other day that in teenagers depression can look different than adults and sometimes it looks like irritability.Katie: It really depends on the person. So I always go back to—we've all heard “nature and nurture,” but I think of it as biology and environment. Same idea, different words. But for some people, their environment can feel really safe to be vulnerable. It can feel really natural to express emotions, to cry, to be in that more vulnerable state. And for others, it doesn't.Or for others, they've learned that being vulnerable isn't safe for them. It isn't manly enough for them. It really depends on the culture and environment. And so it can come across as irritability. It can come across as anger—different dispositions as to whether someone internalizes their emotions or externalizes them or sends them outward to others.Sarah: That makes sense. I think it's good for parents to have an eye on things that maybe look different than they expect, just to keep track.Katie: Yeah. And parents and teens don't always express emotions the same way. I'm a very expressive and emotional person. I'm a therapist. I've also spent my whole life figuring out how to express my emotions. And I would say that my child is probably the opposite of that and doesn't like being vulnerable in front of other people. So what you think makes sense may not make sense to the brain of another person.Sarah: You were talking before about warm connection with parents, and you mentioned that it is normal for teens to want to spend more time by themselves or with peers. But one thing I wonder—and I wonder if you come across this too—parents often think that means, “My kid doesn't want to spend time with me anymore,” or, “My kid doesn't need me.” And my experience with my kids as teenagers was that wasn't true at all—that even as they were moving away and differentiating, they still did like to spend time with their parents, and they still did like to do stuff with us and be close to us. What are some ways that you find are helpful ways for parents to connect? And how do you assure them that, “Yeah, you still are important”?Katie: Yeah. As a child is growing and gaining more independence, it is such a natural experience for parents to feel grief and loss in that process because the relationship is changing. Teens do need parents less. Teens are more independent. They don't want as much time spent with parents.And so it's important, one, to recognize that as a developmental milestone, and two, to recognize that means the way that you interact and respond to your teen changes as well. And so you're not expecting the same attention or response from them as you did before.But this is a grief process because you're grieving the relationship as it used to be. You're grieving your teen as they used to be. But you're also—and this is the part we don't think about—grieving yourself as you used to be because you have to become a new version of yourself to show up for your teen in a new way.And so all of that is to say that it requires a lot of flexibility, openness to evolving, willingness to change how you see, interact, and speak with your teen. And so in thinking about that, it's helpful to think about: What is it that my teen needs from me now?They might not need me to cut up their food or call their teacher for them or set up their playdate for them. They might need me to drive them somewhere and listen to the music that they like and not be the one leading the conversation. They might need me to sit on the couch with them while they watch The Office and notice the parts they laugh at and just be there with them.And both of those examples really nicely illustrate that your teens need less from you, but they don't not need you. They need you to be more of a partner and less of a doing-for.Sarah: When my husband and I both had pretty stable teenage years, we also had parents who were working a lot and not home when we were home. And I'm not saying this to make anyone feel guilty who isn't home after school, but we really tried to structure our lives so that somebody would be home after school even when the kids were teenagers. Because our joke was: even if it's just somebody who's there that they can ignore.Katie: It's so true. But they know that you're there.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. So you talked a little bit about validation before. Can you talk a little bit about validation and its opposite—judgment—maybe starting with judgment: what to avoid when our teens are having big feelings? I mentioned before that I often say the drama is real. I think that's where some of the judgment comes in with parents sometimes. Like, “Oh, come on, you can't be that upset that the jeans you were hoping to wear are still wet in the washing machine.” Where do parents make mistakes in terms of that judgment?Katie: For me, I see judgments as the fuel to the emotional fire. So when we are seeing our teen act in certain ways, judgments are our interpretation of their experience. One of those examples might be: a teen is having a hard time getting up and going to school because they're really depressed, and they've been white-knuckling every single day, and today is just the day that they can't. They can't do it.And so judgments from a parent might look like, “Why can't you just go? Everyone else is going. Just get up. Here's the list of coping skills that your therapist gave us. Use your coping skills.”So it's this judgment that they can, and they're choosing not to.Other judgments that I hear regularly are: “They're manipulative. They're doing this on purpose to upset me. They're attention-seeking.”Oftentimes our judgments are because if we weren't judging and casting blame, we would be having to hold a really frustrating or painful reality. So if I'm not judging my teen and saying, “Why can't you just get up and go to school? Just use your coping skills. It's not this bad,” then what I'd be having to hold is: my teen is really struggling right now. My teen—the person that I love the most in the world—is thinking about wanting to die right now. And that's awful for me.And so judgments are a way of pulling ourselves out of this emotional pain, but also shifting that blame to the other person. And instead of being able to hold their experience.And if we're not judging, we're able to first just notice and name and sit with the experience, which is kind of what I described: “My teen is in a lot of pain right now. They're struggling to get out of bed and even function in their day, and that's really hard.” And when I can name that, I can feel that for myself, and it feels really hard and painful and difficult.And then the outward version of that is validating them: being able to say, “I see how hard you're struggling right now. I see the pain on your face. I hear the lack of energy. This is really hard for you right now.”So we can name the experience for ourselves with our notice-and-name, and then we can validate the experience for our teen by noticing and naming their experience.And when we do this, it does often make the emotion feel more painful because we're naming it. I think a common experience of that is: if you've ever been struggling and then someone in your life, in passing, says, “What's wrong? You look like you're going to cry right now,” and then all of a sudden the tears come because someone has named the experience. The experience was there all along, but having someone see it—having someone tell you, “This is real, this makes sense,” or “I notice what you're going through”—it makes it come to the surface.It's actually a helpful experience, because if we don't name what's happening, we're judging it, we're stifling it, we're ignoring it. And that's like holding a beach ball under water. Eventually it's going to pop out, but we can't control what happens when it does. Someone's going to get hit in the face.So we want to take ownership, we want to validate, we want to notice and name what we're experiencing, and these are the ways that we move toward acceptance of what is, so we have an ability to move toward problem-solving.Sarah: Where would somebody start who's listening to this and hearing all of the examples that you're giving of communication—if they're not even at a point where their teen is communicating with them? Like, things have gotten so fraught and feel so broken. Where would somebody start with that?Katie: It's what I call my hierarchy of connection. Oftentimes there is this big rift in the relationship because it's not just one time that something has happened—it's years or multiple experiences that have gotten them to this point, of this rift in the relationship.So the hierarchy of connection is our blueprint and our path back to connection. It starts with parent and teen being in the same room together—not interacting, but also not criticizing, not having this tension or conflict happening.The example I give often is: I'm in the kitchen putting groceries away. Teen is sitting on the couch scrolling social media or watching YouTube. But I'm not saying, “Hey, did you do your homework? Did you take your medicine? Did you do this?” I'm just existing and they're just existing. And we need to practice being in the same space together without that criticism or nagging happening.When that can happen, we can move into shared activities. This would be watching a movie together, watching TV together, driving somewhere, listening to music. Again: no tension, no conflict, no criticizing. Doing the same thing together without any of those things happening.And this could take a very long time. It's not one, two, three. It could be six months of doing the same thing at the same time before you're moving on.The final step is moving back to interactive activities. This could be something like playing a board game and talking to each other, having an actual conversation at the dinner table, or a deeper conversation about something that's a bigger experience. It could be the ability to do this within the context of therapy, so you're able to have some of those scarier conversations.But there needs to be a level of trust, and an ability not to act on urges to criticize or lead the conversation to nag or check off the to-dos. You have to be able to hold the space—to be in the space with your teen—before that can happen.Sarah: One thing that you mentioned in the book is that there's a link between sensitivity and impulsivity. Can you talk about that? I found that really interesting. Why is that?Katie: When someone is more biologically sensitive—again, there's this urge to make those emotions go away. And so when you are more overwhelmed with emotions, the idea of impulsivity makes more sense, because the desire and need for short-term relief is higher than it may be in others.And so when my emotions are really big, I also have really big urges to make those emotions go away, and it's harder for me to hold these big emotions.Sarah: That was really helpful. If you could have the parents and teens that you work with currently—if you could have had them ten years ago, because a lot of people who listen to the podcast have younger kids and they don't have teenagers—what would you like them to be practicing or working on? Is there anything preventive that you've noticed, that if people had an awareness earlier on, when their kids were younger, they might not get to this point with teenagers?Katie: Absolutely. What I find myself saying often is: parents go first. And what I mean by that is that it is a parent's job to learn emotion regulation skills, to learn how to notice and name emotions, to learn how to validate—essentially to model all of the ways that we handle really big emotions.So that when our teen is having this experience—or our child growing into our teen is having this experience—we have the skills to manage our own emotions and we know how to respond to their emotions, because that validation helps the emotion go down more quickly.When I'm working with younger children—and I don't anymore—but that is part of the process: we're working with parents first for many weeks to give them the skills before we even start working with the child.So that would be my biggest piece of advice for parents of younger children: practice the skills, know how to manage your own emotions, have your own support.And I will add to that: if you had the experience of being parented in a way that was painful for you as a child, address those issues, because they're going to show up in the teen years. In the opposite way, you're going to feel like it's karma, but it's really just generational patterns continuing—and you want to be able to change those patterns and rewrite stories that were painful for you so they don't repeat with your own teen.Sarah: I love that. It's interesting because I think when kids are little, fire feelers don't develop as teenagers, right? Like a fire feeler is a fire feeler whether they're five or whether they're fifteen. But a five-year-old—you can put them in their room and hold the door shut. Not that I'm advocating that. You can pick them up and move them places. I think parents probably—unless they're more aware of emotions and being, in my brand, a peaceful parent—they probably rely on things that then, as their kids get older, just don't work. But they maybe have missed opportunities to practice all the things that are effective as teenagers because they were relying more on external control when their kids were younger.Katie: I one hundred percent agree. I think coercive control is easier to implement when your child is younger. But practicing validation, direct communication, emotion regulation is going to pave the way for more success as a teen.And what I would say is: I think most parents recognize, when I talk about this idea of fire feelers, when they have a three-year-old. I have a sister who has two toddler girls, and she'll say, “I think they're fire feelers,” and they are.And so you know your kid. You know their disposition. You know when they're more sensitive or they're a deep feeler. And so knowing that now can help you pave the way for what's to come.Sarah: Can you speak briefly on—when I was a teenager in the eighties, there was a “tough love” approach for teens who were having a hard time: drugs and alcohol, not going to school. And the approach was like: crack down. Kick them out if they don't follow your rules. I'm pretty sure that's not what you would advocate for.And I do think there has been a shift because people recognize that doesn't work. So maybe if you could speak to that for a few minutes—why getting more strict and more controlling with a teenager who's having a hard time isn't going to be an effective strategy.Katie: I have two thoughts on that: one is about the teen, and one is about the relationship.So when we think about a teenager who's struggling, who has these big emotions, if the message in the family is, “You're too sensitive. Just suck it up. Just get it together. Why can't you do this like your siblings can?”—what happens over time is they internalize that message as, “There must be something wrong with me, that everyone else around me can do this and I can't.”And so they begin to lose trust in their own emotional experience, in their own emotion meter. And that is one of the contributors to self-harm behaviors, because then when an emotion shows up for them, their brain thinks, “Well, this must be wrong.” Everyone keeps telling me that my emotional state is the wrong thing or it's too intense, so let's make that go away quickly so that I can continue to function in my life.What I'll say is: at my center, we see hundreds of kids every week—teens and families. A lot of them are these high-achieving, perfectionistic, private-school kids, and they're self-harming and they're suicidal. And one of the reasons is that that's a strategy that keeps them going in this life that is expected of them.So I want to be really intentional about broadening the picture that we may have of the type of teen who engages in self-harm.The other side of that—the relational piece—is that when the parent is consistently giving this message of, “Just get it together. Suck it up and keep going,” it creates a rift in the relationship. The parent is no longer a safe person to come to when a teen is struggling, because they're not going to get what they need.And so if it's important for a parent to have a strong relationship with a teen—and I think that is for most parents—we need to learn the strategies that welcome open communication, that are able to hold that struggle, so that teens come to us with the little stuff and the big stuff.And I'll add to that: so that teens want to stay connected to us after they leave home.Sarah: Yeah, that makes so much sense. Before I let you go, there's a question I ask all my guests, which is: if you could go back in time to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Katie: To my younger parent self? I think what I would say is that it doesn't have to be perfect. And that's something that I learned through my own education and the theory of good-enough parenting: that you only really need to get it right twenty percent of the time, and the rest of the time it's how you repair, how you respond, and how you keep moving forward in the most loving and compassionate way for both you and your child. So that would help take the pressure off—both for younger me and also for probably a lot of other parents out there—that you don't have to get it right all the time. You just have to want to keep going and want to keep trying to get it right.Sarah: Nice. Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Katie: Yeah. To grab a free chapter of my book, You're On Fire. It's Fine, you can go to youreonfireitsfine.com. And for a therapist or media listening, katiekmay.com has all of my other projects and my counseling center and endeavors there.Sarah: Wonderful. Thank you so much, Katie.Katie: Thank you This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Blue helps Red figure out what the all the notes might mean, and as a result the gang comes up with a plan of action. Will they find out who is leaving notes? Who could it be? ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Bernice is slowly making her way home from the school bus. She realizes that she is super tired from hockey, swimming, and all her school work, so she and Papa talk about how they can help Bernice deal with all these things.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

The last time Libby did a class presentation, she was super nervous. This time, she is determined to be very, very prepared. But Margherita has other ideas, and in the end, Libby learns something, thanks again to her best assistant ever.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Draw a dinosaur with Jake!Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Roll up for Jake's family quiz!Saturday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The gang has a real mystery on their hands. At school when Red meets Charlie she finds out that a lot of people got the mysterious notes, which is weird, and kind of creepy. Alexa calls an emergency meeting of the Solving Mysteries Club to see if they can figure this out.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

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Join Koala Tots Plus on Apple Podcasts or via ⁠⁠https://koalatots.supercast.com/⁠⁠ for all other podcast players. Our 30-day free trial offer ends this Sunday! So if you haven't joined yet, now's the time.  New premium subscribers can unlock Koala Tots completely ad-free, with gentle lullabies, compilation episodes and toddler-friendly bedtime stories designed to help little ones drift off peacefully.And that's not all, you can also try out the Koala Kids Bundle which includes all of our Koala Kids shows in one place, including Koala Moon, Koala Shine and Koala Sleep Sounds. That's over 500 episodes, all ad-free, at zero cost. With the Koala Kids Bundle you'll also gain access to brand new subscriber-only adventures on Koala Moon, where we explore our new lands, Wonder Jungle, Pillowy Peaks, Harmony Cove and Moonbeam heights.  Listeners will discover these new corners of the Koala Kingdom through second-person narration, placing your child at the heart of every cozy moment. This 30-day free trial is only available until Sunday the 18th of January, so don't miss out. Tap to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or head to the link in our show notes for Spotify, Yoto, and other players. Sweet dreams!

Libby is very annoyed at the cold. She is walking home from the bus stop carrying way too much stuff when she slips and falls. After arriving home and talking to Margherita she realizes one of her mittens is missing. Where could it be? ✔️ Perfect for ages 5+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Bernice might be tired after a long day at school, but she does everything she can so that she can stay awake and listen to a long story told by Papa Bear.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

A little story that asks what would it be to fall from the sky as a snowflake!Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you twist your tongue to say these tongue twisters? Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Red, Blue and the gang are back in Volume 3, with a new friend, and all are  ready to take on some new mysteries. IN this part, Red is on her way to school when she meets a new student on the bus who has moved from far away, she makes her feel welcome and introduces her to the gang at lunchtime. But something happens later, what could it be? ✔️ Perfect for ages 5+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Bernice has gotten ready for bed early, so she might finally be able to stay awake long enough to listen to a story. When she chats with Cookie, she says she thinks the bath might be making her so sleepy and maybe she should stop taking it. ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Thank you to Lily for the story idea. Yuki and Koro return. When Niko leaves the apartment without completely closing the door, Koro has an idea that they should go and explore outside, without her. Yuki doesn't think it is a very good idea but she is worried if Koro goes alone then there will be problems.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 5+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Blue has done everything he needed to do, some things more than once, and he is bored. He isn't allowed to hack computers or other things, so he follows his mother around until she tells him it is best if he goes for a walk. Blue heads to the park and meets someone new and tells them everything! ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

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Join Koala Tots Plus on Apple Podcasts or via ⁠https://koalatots.supercast.com/⁠ for all other podcast players. The new year is here, and it's the perfect time to settle your little one into a cozy, calm bedtime routine. From January 5th to January 18th, new premium subscribers can claim a 30-day free trial of Koala Tots plus. With Koala Tots Plus, you'll enjoy completely ad-free listening, along with access to our premium compilation episodes. These extended collections lovingly bring together all your favourite stories, creating a calm, and even more comforting bedtime experience. You can also try out the Koala Kids bundle where you'll gain full access to over 500 stories and sounds, including access to brand new subscriber-only adventures on Koala Moon, where we explore our new lands, Wonder Jungle, Pillowy Peaks, Harmony Cove and Moonbeam Heights.  Listeners can discover these new corners of the Koala Kingdom through second-person narration, placing your child at the heart of every cozy moment. This 30-day free trial is only around for a limited time, so don't miss out. Tap to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or head to the link in our show notes for Spotify, Yoto, and other players. Sweet dreams!

Draw some beautiful butterflies with Jake!Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Saturday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bernice has been playing with Ethan, Bobby and Gertrude and is now hurrying home to get warm. It is a very cold day and she needs something super delicious to help her warm up. Bernice and Papa Bear talk about her morning and she has questions for Papa Bear.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Blinky and his friends are getting ready to go on their adventure to the pet store. Doo Doo still needs to tell Blinky why they are going, and after he does, Blinky realizes he never knew but understands now why his family took him to see so many doctors. When they arrive at the pet store, they find the cure but don't get away so easily.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Do you have a favourite toy? Brendon has a polar bear that he loves and takes everywhere with him. Brendon and Bear talk about everything and do everything together. When Brendon notices his friend Jonathan having a bad day he tries to help.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 5+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Elsa has gone to get the bread her Grandfather has asked her to pick up, the special loaf they have only once a year. While she is waiting for the bread to be ready she stands outside and enjoys the snowflakes. Then something magical happens. ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Pema guides us in creating maps of all the things we love to do.Sunday episode of the multi award-winning Yoto Daily - the mini podcast from the people at yotoplay.com.If you loved this episode, download the Yoto app to listen to the rest of the week's Yoto Daily episodes for free.If you want to share your artwork with Jake and Pema, or contribute your own joke for the Friyay jokes round up, check out yoto.space!Did you know you can tune into Yoto Daily for fun facts and trivia, jokes, and riddles each and every day? Access all episodes of Yoto Daily by downloading the Yoto App. You'll find loads of a world of free kids' radio, and you don't need a Yoto Player to use it.Follow us at @yotoplay on Instagram and Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this final part, The Bold Tin Solider is very happy in his new home even with all the adventures he has had so far. He got a chance to be reunited with the Lamb on Wheels and meet new people. Arnold makes his a fort to watch over and the adventure continues.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 5+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Blinky is a young, snuggly German shepherd. He has a great family who loves him, but Blinky has a problem. Blinky has bad breath, really bad breath. His breath is so bad that people avoid his house, and even the flowers are starting to lean away from the home. Blinky's friends notice that other dogs are not as willing to play with them now, and they wonder what they can do to help Blinky.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

It's Christmas Eve and Bernice is super excited. She thinks she will either stay up all night, or get up at 4am. Mama and Papa Bear don't think thats a good idea, but after a big meal and a story for bed, Bernice just might be able to fall asleep. Because the earlier to sleep, the sooner morning will come.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Ilo dreams of making toys in the big workshop. But Ilo has a problem and when he gets a letter telling him that he can work there, he doesn't know if he can. What could his problem be? ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

When a set of tin soldiers arrives at Arnold's house on a snowy afternoon, their Captain discovers something wonderful - his old friend, the Lamb on Wheels, lives next door! But settling into a new home isn't always easy. There are rough boys with bean shooters, a bird who mistakes the Lamb for a real sheep, and a very large dog who thinks the Sawdust Doll would make a nice chew toy. ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Bernice is shopping with Mama Bear and trying to find the perfect gift for Papa Bear. They wander around looking at lots of different options, but when they stop for a tasty treat, Bernice decides exactly what gift she can get for Papa Bear.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

In this bedtime story we travel to Santa's workshop where everyone is hard at work getting ready to make children happy. But the sprites feel left out. No one appreciates them and so they decide to do something tat they think might help. But will it work?  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

In this bedtime story, Blue from the Transfer Student is bored and doesn't want to do his History homework. Red has gone to a meeting with the gang and Blue was not invited. When he opens his laptop, he sees something very interesting. Will he get in trouble again? ✔️ Perfect for ages 5+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️

Our pizza eating orange cat is back! In this bedtime story, Libby decides to buy Margerita a new special collar as an early Christmas present. But the pizza loving cat has different ideas.  ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️