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In this empowering episode, Tara talks with Ned Johnson, co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, about how we as parents can step back a little to help our kids step up. They dive into why giving children more autonomy and a real sense of control isn't just helpful...it's essential for their mental health and long-term success. Ned shares how shifting from being a “controller” to more of a “consultant” can build trust, resilience, and confidence in our kids, especially during the tricky teenage years. They also touch on the weight so many moms carry, feeling responsible for every outcome, and how taking a calmer, less anxious approach can actually create more connection. This conversation is full of real talk, relatable stories, and gentle reminders that letting our kids make mistakes is part of the journey, and that we're doing better than we think. Links: https://theselfdrivenchild.com/
Today we're diving into a topic that's sometimes tricky to navigate as parents: consent. My guest for this conversation is educator and consent expert Sarah Casper, founder of Comprehensive Consent and author of The Kids and Consent Curriculum. Sarah has taught thousands of children, teens, and adults how to build healthy, respectful, and joyful relationships through a social-emotional lens. Her approach is as thoughtful as it is practical. In this conversation, Sarah and I explored how consent starts early, with the little, everyday interactions that help kids understand their boundaries, express their wants and needs, and learn to respect others wants and needs. We talked about the challenges of balancing safety with autonomy, especially when it comes to things like hygiene, personal space, and social expectations, and why this balance is nuanced when parenting neurodivergent children. Sarah also shared some real-world strategies for introducing consent language at home, navigating pushback, and supporting kids in building self-awareness and self-esteem. If you've ever wondered how to model boundaries while still honoring your child's agency, I know you will find this episode valuable. And hopefully you'll feel inspired to do the activity Sarah shared at the end of the episode with your family because it's a great way to evaluate how choices are being made at home and it will help you understand each other a little better. About Sarah Casper Sarah Casper is an educator, author of The Kids and Consent Curriculum, and the founder of Comprehensive Consent, a social-emotional learning approach to equipping young people with the knowledge and skills necessary for healthy, respectful, and joyful relationships. Through her in-school workshops, online classes, and social media content, Sarah has helped thousands of kids, adolescents, and adults deepen their consent practices. Things you'll learn from this episode Consent begins in childhood through small, everyday practices that honor bodily autonomy, encourage agency, and invite mutual respect Teaching consent means offering choices, being honest about our intentions, and recognizing when to pivot based on our child's cues Healthy relationships are rooted in collaboration, not control, and thrive when power dynamics are acknowledged Navigating consent with kids involves balancing their safety with their right to say no, especially in situations involving hygiene, touch, or personal space Supporting a child's self-regulation and practicing our own helps reduce resentment, foster trust, and model respectful boundary-setting Neurodivergent kids may need extra support in understanding and expressing consent, which makes child-led play and behavior-based communication all the more important Resources mentioned Comprehensive Consent (Sarah's website) The Kids & Consent Curriculum: 25 Whole-Classroom Lessons to Teach Boundaries, Collaboration, and Respect by Sarah Casper Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically by Dr. Devon Price Dr. Devon Price on the Autistic Person's Guide to Unmasking for Life (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Akilah Richards on Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast) The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation―And Making Your Own Life Easier by Dr. David Yeager Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
If our kids are achieving but not thriving, what are we actually working toward? In this profoundly helpful and eye-opening conversation, Ned Johnson and Dr. William Stixrud—authors of What Do You Say? and The Self-Driven Child—return to share powerful insights about raising kids who can handle stress, stay motivated, and actually enjoy their lives. We talk about what it means to be a non-anxious presence, how our words and behaviors shape our children's mental health, and why the “Yale or fail” mindset is doing far more harm than good. Packed with specific phrases to use (and avoid), guidance on school pressure and tracking apps, and wisdom from decades of working with anxious families, this episode offers a better way forward. If you've ever worried about whether you're doing enough—or doing it right—this one will help you exhale and refocus on what really matters: raising kids with resilient brains, meaningful relationships, and the capacity to experience joy. ** Learn more about Bill and Ned here Get your copy of What Do You Say? here Get your copy of The Self-Driven Child here Get your copy of The Self-Driven Child workbook here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Hi! Jess here. As an author and host of this podcast, I hear “I have a great idea for a book!” a lot, and while I believe everyone has a story to tell, I've only been knocked over by these book pitches twice. The first was the idea for the book Raising Empowered Athletes: A Youth Sports Parenting Guide for Raising Happy, Brave, and Resilient Kids by Kirsten Jones (pitched to me at speaking event in 2015, published in 2023) and the second was last week, in a conversation with this week's guest, Dr. Megan.I'm SO excited to introduce you to our new series, “From Soup to Nuts,” and its subject, Dr. Megan. She's a therapist, speaker, and hopeful author who presented me with that aforementioned great idea for a book and a hook for a speaking career. She's the right person to write this book, there's a hole in the market for it, and it's timely.So….now what?Over the next weeks and months, I will be mentoring Dr. Megan through her proposal, querying an agent, and planning ahead for a potential speaking career whether or not she sells the book. This week, we talk through the preliminary process of getting to a book's why and wherefores while crafting the introductory section of the book proposal (see resources below) and researching potential agents. This first episode is for all subscribers, but the rest of this series will be available to supporters only. Please consider supporting the podcast so you can follow along (and learn from) Dr. Megan's planning and writing process. Resources we mention:While I am not an Author Accelerator book coach, I do find Jennie Nash's book, Blueprint for a Nonfiction Book incredibly useful and asked Dr. Megan to read it. We will be referring to it from time to time throughout this series. Introductory section of a book proposal. Since we will be referring to the proposal for The Addiction Inoculation as a reference, I thought it would be helpful to make that available to #AmWriting Podcast listeners. Click through to Jess' website to download. Jess's episode: What is a “Comp”?Dr. Megan's assignment: write the introductory section of her book proposal, identify and research potential agents, and compile a list of agents she would like to query.Geeky footnote: “From soup to nuts” means “from beginning to end” and refers back to the practice of serving soup at the very beginning of a formal Western meal and nuts at the end. As a former Latin teacher, I prefer the saying “ab uvo usque ad mala” or “from the egg to the apples” in the tradition of Roman meals, but regardless, this series will cover everything from the beginning to the end of Dr. Megan's book process.Additional links from the Pod:Jean Hanff Korelitz, The Plot & The SequelVicki Hoefle, Duct Tape ParentingOp Ed ProjectNadine Burke Harris, The Deepest WellNed Johnson, The Self-Driven ChildDaniel J. Siegel, BrainstormAnna Lembke, Dopamine NationICYMI: Sarina's latest thriller is out in the world!Rowan Gallagher is a devoted single mother and a talented architect with a high-profile commission restoring an historic mansion for the most powerful family in Maine. But inside, she's a mess. She knows that stalking her ex's avatar all over Portland on her phone isn't the healthiest way to heal from their breakup. But she's out of ice cream and she's sick of romcoms.Watching his every move is both fascinating and infuriating. He's dining out while she's wallowing on the couch. The last straw comes when he parks in their favorite spot on the waterfront. In a weak moment, she leashes the dog and sets off to see who else is in his car.Instead of catching her ex in a kiss, Rowan becomes the first witness to his murder—and the primary suspect.Digital books at: Amazon | Nook | Apple Books | Kobo | Google Play | AudiblePhysical books at: Bookshop.org | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indigo | More paperback links here!New! Transcript below!EPISODE 451 - TRANSCRIPTKJ Dell'AntoniaListeners who I know are also readers. Have I got a summer book for you, if you haven't yet ordered Dying to Meet You, Sarina Bowen's latest thriller with just enough romance you have to, so, let me lay this out for you. Rowan Gallagher is a devoted single mother and a talented architect with a high-profile commission restoring a historic mansion for the most powerful family in Maine, but inside, she's a mess. She knows stalking her ex's avatar all over Portland on her phone isn't the healthiest way to heal from their breakup, but she's out of ice cream and she's sick of rom coms. Watching his every move is both fascinating and infuriating. He's dining out while she's wallowing on the couch. The last straw comes when he parks in their favorite spot on the waterfront. In a weak moment, she leashes the dog and sets off to see who else is in his car. But instead of catching her ex in a kiss, Rowan becomes the first witness to his murder and the primary suspect. But Rowan isn't the only one keeping secrets as she digs for the truth. She discovers that the dead man was stalking her too, gathering intimate details about her job and her past, struggling to clear her name, Rowan finds herself spiraling into the shadowy plot that killed him. Will she be the next to die? You're going to love this. I've had a sneak preview, and I think we all know that The Five Year Lie was among the very best reads and listens of last summer, Dying to Meet You is available in every format and anywhere that you buy books and you could grab your copy, and you absolutely should right now.Multiple Speakers:Is it recording? Now it's recording, yay. Go ahead. This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone. I don't remember what I'm supposed to be doing. All right, let's start over. Awkward pause. I'm going to rustle some papers. Okay, now one, two, three.Jess LaheyHey, this is Jess Lahey, and this is the Hashtag AmWriting podcast. Hashtag AmWriting is the podcast about writing all the things, short things, long things, poetry, nonfiction, fiction, book proposals, queries. It's about the publishing industry. This is the podcast about getting the work done. I'm your host today, this week. My name is Jess Leahy. I am the author of The Gift of Failure, how the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed, and The Addiction Inoculation, Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. I had a column at the New York Times for three years called the parent teacher conference, and I've written for The Atlantic and The Washington Post and numerous other outlets. Okay, today we are going to be talking with someone I am identifying for now as Dr. Megan. We're going to decide later on whether or not we get into her full name and all that stuff. But she is being super brave by coming on this podcast, because this podcast is going to be this episode of the podcast is going to be the first in a series. I met Dr Megan, I've been on the lookout for someone like her with a book idea like hers, with an aim towards, you know, an idea of wanting to be a speaker like her, and I just am really excited to mentor her through the process of hopefully getting an agent, hopefully getting a book deal and hopefully becoming a speaker, and we're just going to work our way through it. I also have been looking for someone like Dr. Megan, because I really wanted to pick someone for you so that we can mentor, someone who is dedicated to the process, interested in doing all the homework and is not going to, like, give up halfway through, and this is someone who's really dedicated to this series. I'm hoping you can learn as much as possible. As always, this podcast is about flattening the learning curve for other writers. So that's what Dr. Megan has offered to do with us... again, super brave, like the people who do the First Page's Booklab and submit their work. This is a really vulnerable position to be put in. And so, over the next hour, however many months this takes, we're going to be following her trajectory as an author slash speaker and see how it all goes. This first episode is going to be free for all subscribers to the Hashtag AmWriting podcast. And after that, we're going to be putting it under the umbrella of supporter podcasts. So, if you would like to follow along and learn from Megan's journey, go ahead and hit the support button and figure out a way to support the podcast, because we're you know, we're here because of you, and we're here and grateful for your support. So, with that, I'm going to introduce you to Dr. Megan, she is a therapist, she is a speaker, she is a wannabe author. She's someone who has a lot of experience in her field. She wants to write a book that is squarely in her field, related to her life, related to the life of her patients, her clients, and she is exactly the right person to write it. And it is a book that is needed right now. And so, with that, let's get started. As I promised. I have a hopeful, potential, exciting phase. new author here with me today. One of the reasons that I wanted to do this sort of it's not really book coaching, because that's not my domain. I'm not a Author Accelerator book coach. I also, but I get asked to do this a lot, and I get asked specifically about the speaking piece of it. So, I wanted to get our listeners started with how we met. I would love for you to explain how we met, and you don't have to get specific about places, but how we ended up in the same place together, because there's a reason I decided to work with you, and a reason that I thought that your potential book idea has a lot of a promise. And so anyway, could you tell our listeners how we met?Dr. MeganAll right, this is a good question. Let's see. So, we met before you knew me. I met you via the Hashtag AmWriting podcast.Jess LaheyOkay.Dr. MeganAnd then when I was... I think it was just after finishing my doctorate, I found your book The Gift of Failure. So, then I met you there. But then, since I moved about almost three years ago now, and as part of my move, I thought, oh, I'm going to career shift. I've been working as a therapist for about 17 years with kids and families. And I love doing speaking, I love disseminating information. And I've been sort of marinating on this idea of a book... I don't know, probably five years and anyways, and I started emailing some people, and the majority of people actually don't answer said email. So I went to the librarian, and I was trying to get the scoop on those people at the library, and they're like, Oh yeah, yeah, Jess Lahey? She's super nice. She totally answered. Like, okay, I'm just going to cold turkey email her from the website, like she probably won't respond, but I just thought it was sort of a fate moment that you even we lived in this same small town, so it just all kind of perfectly collided.Jess LaheyYeah, and I think your approach was really interesting, because you came at it from the perspective of someone who has done a lot of work to learn stuff in the first place, and you, when we got together, the book that you told me about, just hit all of the it, my alarm bells went off this, the like, oh my gosh, this needs to be a thing. And the last time this happened was when I met Kirsten Jones, who wrote Raising Empowered Athletes. So, I met her. She came to one of my book talks in California. Right after The Gift of Failure came out and she started, she met me by saying, you know, I want to write something like The Gift of Failure, but for parents of athletes, which I was like, oh my gosh, yes, you have to write that book. And when you told me about the book that you want to write, I immediately thought, this book has to happen. Now, here's the tough part. As anyone who is thinking about writing a book knows you can't just throw your idea out there, let alone the title, which you have. And the title, essentially was what sort of struck me in the first place, but we can't give away the title. We can't give away the main idea. So, listeners, I want you to think about when KJ and I originally talked about the book The Plot. There's a book by... it's a book called The Plot. And the essential idea behind this book, and there has now been a follow up called The Sequel, both of them really brilliant. The idea behind The Plot was, student comes to a teacher with a plot that is so good it can't fail. And the idea is that, like, well, it doesn't matter. No matter what I do, this is going to just be a thing and it leads to murder, but I do promise not to murder you in order to take your book idea and publish it for myself in that book, though the author correlates is her last name, manages to not talk about the plot while talking about the plot, which is the unfortunate place we're in where we have to talk about this really good idea that I think is there's a hole in the market, which we'll get to later. We're going to talk about market analysis later, it's as someone who's been in this speaking in this area and writing this area for a while, there is a place for this book, and this book really needs to happen. And I think, but what I think is fairly irrelevant here, because this has to be about what you think. I think you are the perfect person to write this book. So, with that I decided this would be a great way to teach to do, almost like a mentoring series for listeners who would really like to just not just write a book, but also build a speaking career around that book, which you very much want to do. So, we're going to do today a sort of get to know you, get to know what you've done, and why I thought you were sort of prepared to start this process. Because KJ and Sarina and Jennie were like, but is this person ready? Like, are they going to do the things? Are they ready? Is this going to be like a one off, and then she'll disappear into the night? Has she done the work? Is she prepared? So could you talk a little bit about some of the work you've done, like, you know, you talk about the fact that you have done the professional work, and that this book is going to be very much tied to your professional work, but in terms of writing, which is a very different thing, and then speaking, which is, on top of that, a very different thing, sort of why do you think that it's the right time for you to write this book?Dr. MeganWell, I feel like all of the pieces have sort of fallen a little bit into place lately, because I thought the right time to write this book was actually two and a half years ago.Jess LaheyOh, that's always the right time with any book which is always the case. But I will tell you, from experience that I think that when you're doing the searching and when you're doing the research and when you're doing the pondering, the book happens at the right time. I happen to think that which is another way of saying you can procrastinate. But it's not that. It's, you know, it's the processing part.Dr. MeganYeah, and I feel like the process keeps aligning for me with this book, because I had this idea and I thought, Oh, I'll move and here I will sit in my new home writing a book, because now I don't have a bunch of clients, and I'm not as busy once everything is perfect, once everything is right, exactly, yes. So, so it turns out that's not a thing.Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganAnd so, I was really sort of dragging my feet. And so, I, as part of my licensing requirements as a therapist, I had to take some classes. So, one of the classes I took was “Writing a book for therapist”. And so, I did that, and I thought, Oh, that's really interesting. So, then I reached out to the person who taught the class, and they said, what else do you do?Jess LaheyRight. Now was that a full on, full length, like...?Dr. MeganThat class was just kind of a short, like, two hour continuing education.Jess LaheyBut you had to do writing prompts. You had to do the work; you had to do the writing...Dr. MeganYeah, I had some low... yeah, like, low level prompts, okay, just like, sort of marinate, get your idea going, kind of prompts. And so, I thought, oh, that was really helpful. It made me realize that the missing element for me as a creative is, I need structure.Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganAnd so, we, when we met, I was like, oh, homework, bring it on. Because I actually, I love homework, because I think it gives you some structure around the creativity and gets things flowing. So anyway, so I reached out, and then she said, Oh, I have this class, and it is once a week for eight weeks, and every week you turned in different things, and it sort of ranged an arc from solidifying your idea writing your introduction, but also like making a faux book cover, or making a faux blurbs, or thinking about, how do you use something like Amazon to look at what categories might your work be in which I think is a beautiful gateway over to the Blueprint Book.Jess LaheyRight. So, I gave you a copy of Jennie Nash's Blueprint for a Nonfiction Book. All of the books are great, but I think, and I'm, again, not a Author Accelerator book coach, but I thought it was really good starting place for the process of thinking about the like, why me? What is my book? What is my purpose? Who is my audience? You know, who's my ideal reader, all that kind of stuff. So, having looked at blueprint for a nonfiction book, what parts for you have sort of resonated either because they were overlooked in other classes or other preparation that you've done, or you think actually will hit at what you need to work on for this??Dr. MeganI like it because, I think it's really useful in the learning process to keep asking same questions in different ways. So, every time it kind of elicits a new response, a new thing to think about, a new way to connect it. And so, you know, I originally had this book idea, and I wrote down, I think several years ago, 10 chapters...Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganAnd then through the class, I was like, oh, wait, no, no, there's a narrative quality. It needs to be in parts.Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganHow does the parts become within one thing? And so, but then in doing this book and looking at it, I feel like the most valuable piece was also the why. Like, why me? Like, really? Because I think to be an author feels vulnerable. To be a therapist is sort of vulnerable, but not really, because you're not, actually, you're encouraged not to share as much about yourself. And so...Jess LaheyOh! That's interesting I hadn't thought that.Dr. MeganYou know...Jess LaheyBut that's a really important part of this process.Dr. MeganYeah, and it got me really looking at and comparing, do I really love this thing? Okay, if you thought of your book with other writers in the same category as sort of a conversation, not like as competition, but as collaboration, like, where do you sit with that?Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganAnd to me, that kind of prompt is very helpful because then I, even, you know, as an artsy person, was like, Oh, how do I, like, imagine yourself, like, if you sat at your Knights of the Round Table, who are your people? Like, who would you want there? How would that go?Jess LaheyAnd that gets at when you're thinking about, obviously, we're going to have to talk about, you know, market analysis and comp titles and things like that. That also helps you realize, because you're going to have to write this section, which is like, what's out there, and why is my book going to be different or and also thinking, and I've talked about this before in other episodes, in another episode, and I'll link in the show notes to that one, not just the books that have been successful in this area, and how your book will be different from those. But also, you have to think about like, which books didn't work, and you have to explain why your book is not that.Dr. MeganYes, yeah, without yeah, without being like a show and fraud, right kind of person. But also Yeah, because there's a million people that I think are super brilliant that have written parenting books, but either they sound like too therapist-y or like, are there a little, like light on the actually, how does this work kind of thing, and also accepting you can't be all things to all people.Jess LaheyRight, right.Dr. MeganSo, the part about who's your audience, I thought, but, but I think the really golden nugget in that first part too, is the why, and so I even did that writing exercise, like, why this book? Why me? Why now? Kind of questioning. And I thought that was really helpful, because I wrote that more in, like a talking way, because I think some of those same things filter into an introduction for a book, but by writing it in an unpolished way, I feel like I reignited sort of the passion for the subject.Jess LaheyRight. Oh, that's so good.Dr. MeganSo, I feel like it's missing...Jess LaheyAnd a lot of that's going to happen during the book proposal process as well. I mean, when you first were full disclosure, we're recording this at my house, because it's just easier to have two people in one space, and we're in my office, and I showed you all of the bookshelves that are filled with the books for the book for the book proposals that I've written and decided that I don't want to write right now, because I think that's really, really helpful. And as onerous as the book proposal process is, it's incredibly revealing. It helps you see what's working, what's not working, what you want to write, and what you don't want to write. So, I'm really excited for you to get really immersed in that process. Okay, so your why coming into this like, given that you're going to have to have a bit of an elevator pitch for people, what is your WHY for this book?Dr. MeganI thought about this in different ways. Okay I was a sort of neurodiverse kid—dyslexic, ADD—and therapy was super helpful to me as a child. And as a, you know, what Elaine Aron might call a highly sensitive person, I just think there's all these... I was so lucky, because I had a school for dyslexia, and I had all these opportunities in my childhood and as a therapist, I found myself working a lot with these kids that you might be like oh, ADHD learning like that's not normal but it's actually very normal. And within that there's just such a wide way people can be. And I just sometimes think as a culture a society we get so binary, and I just feel like that gets people really locked into either "oh no big deal" or "ooh super problematic thinking". And my big why is, there are easy solutions to helping understand your child. So, my really, my, why is I feel like there's, there's answers out there, and it drives me bananas, if you're like, oh, I don't know what to do, or there's just nothing. So, I feel compelled to do that.Jess LaheySo the nice thing about that answer is and I tend to bring... because it's my experience the so when I was thinking about The Gift of Failure, the big why was because I want kids to be able to learn to the best their ability to be engaged, to be motivated, all those sorts of things, but also that they're having conversations with their parents about what really matters to them and all that sort of stuff. So for me, there was no one writing at that intersection of parenting and education in this particular way, and because you have cred, not just as someone who grew up neurodiverse and as someone who works with neurodiverse kids, you have that sort of both sides of the table thing going on, which I think is a really, really, not just a great why, but a really great answer to why me.Dr. MeganYes.Jess LaheyYeah, yeah, to the why me question we're going to be talking about in future episodes, and about owning your expertise. So, I want to give you some homework.Dr. MeganOkay.Jess LaheyTo think about, things and, oh, and I have a I even brought, I have a little notebook for you I get, I got you a little notebook. So, okay, so when it comes to your why, it sounds like you have a sort of a really good hold... a handle on that, but you're going to be asked definitely, during blueprint for a nonfiction book, and during our conversation to be re-articulating that lots and lots of times, people are going to be asking you about what you're working on, and that can be a really, really great opportunity. It's sort of like when, when you have to do interviews about your book, you're not going to want to go like, let's assume all of this goes well, and you're going to get to start doing interviews about your book. You need for now to be the time that you're articulating those really good answers, like, who is this book for? Why? I mean, the question I get in every interview is, give me a bit of your background and why you decided to write these books. And you want that answer to be great. You want that answer to be concise. You want that answer to not be rambling. And that's sort of your, you know, your elevator pitch sort of thing. The other thing that we talk a lot about, KJ and I, have talked about this a lot, is I like to have a stack of books that are the “voice I'm aiming for. So, I've had, there was a book called Duct Tape Parenting when I first wrote The Gift of Failure, and she just was really brave. The author of that book was, like, really not concerned with people yelling at her and saying, you're wrong, and she would just have this brave voice. And that was my brave voice book. And then I had another book that was like my owning your expert voice book, and so that they gave me a sense of on the days when I really needed them and I needed... because one of the hardest things for first time authors to do is to own their expertise. This is also something that comes up a lot in The OpEd Project, a group that I have worked with and mentored with for a while, where they help people who wouldn't normally get the chance to write op eds, to write op eds. And Katie Orenstein, the founder of that, said, a big part of that is helping you own your expertise. Like, yeah, why do I deserve to be the person talking about this? And I think, especially, as you said before a therapist and not having the opportunity to sort of talk about you, that's going to be incredibly important. So having a book for that, and sometimes we refer to them as, like our dissection books. So, here's the thing, you want, a great book that helps with the, no, I have the right to say these things, and I'm correct. And then the owning is sort of, and it could be the same thing owning your expertise book. And then you need to find a book whose format is really great for this topic. So, like, and it doesn't have to be exactly modeled. Your book doesn't have to be exactly modeled on that. But find a book that you feel like, really, if you want to integrate narrative arc, if you want to have it be straight up research, if you want this research and the narrative arc to come together, if you want to do storytelling, find the book that you think is like, yeah, this is what I'm aiming for in my book. Find one of those books, because being able to dissect how that person does that. Sarina does it sometimes, like when she switched over to thrillers from romance, she needed to be able to say, okay, well, how long are how many pages are we spending on exposition? How many pages are we spending on research? And for me, I found a couple of books that I thought just did a really good job of organizing in the way I wanted to organize it. So having a stack of those books as well is going to be really important.Dr. MeganTo my book stack...Jess LaheyOkay, yeah, yeah.Dr. MeganIn my kitchen. Okay, good, because that's...I have three kids, and by about 9:30 most people are asleep, and no one can, you know, trouble me for a glass of water, et cetera,Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganSo, I have, like, a big stack, and that is what I think has been really interesting. When I first got here and thought, oh, I want to write, and I was just really feeling blocked and unclear. My other passion is painting. And so, I got really into painting and studying art. And how did people craft things, you know, like, studied with other artists, looked at things, and I realized in this writing process how similar it is to the painting process. And in a painting, often I'll do an under painting of a color that might be radically different from the rest of the painting, but I feel like it sets the tone. And what I felt like was really useful in working on the writing has been like, oh, permission to be creative about it and to look at other things. So, I literally very neurotic...I counted like, number of words per page, and then would like, multiply them, and then I made a list, like, in a chart, like, how many pages are each of these books in this category?Jess LaheyOh my gosh.Dr. MeganJust to kind of get the structure in, very much a similar process in artists, where you're like, oh, how does this person use light in a painting?Jess LaheyRight.Dr. MeganAnd I think that's where I feel like, by putting creativity, like, using those same dynamics has been really empowering, because it's that same sort of thing for me, just finding, yeah, so the more, the more I do that, the better it becomes, because it invites a whole new structure you might not have thought of, or...Jess LaheyOkay, whatever. So, and we'll talk about this eventually, but at a certain point, all of the charts and the graphs and stuff are going to have to give way to this, like really big, creative and word output. So, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, we're in the planning stage, and then the last thing I need you to think about is, and I don't think it's too early to start thinking about this, is, you know, how is this going to translate into speaking, and how we're going to do an entire podcast just on the planning? You know, obviously, you don't even have a book yet. You don't even have an agent yet, any... all of this stuff.Dr. MeganYeah.Jess LaheyBut, but... and we're going to talk about all this stuff, but in order to really be able to pitch yourself as a speaker, because I think there's even the possibility the speaker thing could happen without the book thing. It's going to happen most effectively, obviously, with the book thing. But it's since that's what you really want, we're going to start planning for that speaking career while the book is also happening. Right?Dr. MeganI'm in.Jess LaheyOkay, all right, so you've already done what I was going to give you homework about. So, I think, I think what you need to start thinking about is...I have given Megan a copy of The Addiction Inoculation book proposal, right?Dr. MeganUh-huh.Jess LaheyOkay, so the reason it's not that I think that my book proposal is all that, but my agent...Dr. MeganBut it is.Jess LaheyLaurie Abkemeier, just is amazing, and she helped shape that. So, I think it's a really good starting place. And I think the first section, the introductory section, I think would be a really great place for you to start. Unless you have anything, you think would be another great place for you to start. I want to take your input into this as well.Dr. MeganNo, that seems good. Yeah. Because in this class I did, we had to write the intro and the first thing, but then when I read what you had, I was like, whoa, there's so much more.Jess LaheyYeah.Dr. MeganThere's so much more.Jess LaheyAnd all of the things we've talked about go into that introductory section, like, why me? Why this? Why now? And I think the why now when it comes to your plot, and I'm sorry again, listeners that we have to be a bit vague, but I think why now, with your title and your subject matter, I think it's a really great time for this book as well and it and without linking it into, you know, popular culture references and stuff like that, I think it's really important to help basically, I like to think of this section as the section that the editor, potential editor will have to go to the group at her publishing house to pitch to say, can I buy this book... and for how much... that section really is, here's why this author is the right time, why it's the right time, why this is the right author, why there's a there, this book needs to be written, what the hole is in the market. And I think that's going to be a really important part of that for you.Dr. MeganYeah, and that's where it felt like, oh, now this doctoral thing that I did 10 years ago is coming into play, because they'd always be like, what are your gaps in the literature? And you have to get really granular about it. And so...Jess LaheyOh, over and over again, I've been like, oh, wait, I can go back to that other thing I wrote in order to pull some of the pieces from that. So, this is very helpful. Okay, so for just the two of us, that's going to be the first thing I would love to see from you is that introductory section, sure, and then we're going... this podcast is going to be from here on out. This introductory level is going to be for everyone from here on out. This is going to be for supporters. But if you want to follow along on the journey, we're going to remain vague, like I said about the topic, simply because we don't want anyone to take it. And we are going to keep things a little bit vague on some fronts, but for the most part, we're going to get really specific, like I'm going to we're going to be talking about querying agents. We're going to be talking about the what the query format is like and finding an agent. I mean, that's the first place we have to start for you, and I have some ideas, but I'm going to give you some homework around that as well, which is, and I think you may have heard this before on our podcast, because we've talked about it, but look at the books that you really, really admire in your genre, and then look at the acknowledgement section, because people thank their agents, right? So, for example, if I am looking at a stack of books, I recommend a lot. So, for example, I really love, you know, like Nadine Burke Harris's The Deepest Well, and Ned Johnson's The Self-Driven Child, and uh, Dan Siegel's Brainstorm, and Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation, those books sort of hit the tone and the topic that I would be writing about. So, who are their agents? Because those agents are clearly open to topics that are similar. Now, you don't want to go for someone who's written, who's published, or, you know, sold, the exact same thing, but you want someone who's hitting the spirit of the and is someone that is reputable and that you're also going to find by looking at who authors you respect thank in their acknowledgements. So that's a good starting place. So that's your other assignment.Dr. MeganOkay.Jess LaheyYou can go to the library and do that. You can go clearly you have stacks of books at your house. You can borrow any of my books you would like. But let's start looking for potential agents to pitch this idea to, because a query is like, almost like a mini it's like a super mini version of your idea, and if they like it, they're going to ask for more. So, we need to have that more ready for when you query. Nonfiction is a little different from fiction, and for those of you have been listening for a long time, you know that if you're going to query a fiction agent, that agent is going to ask for a full manuscript, which so you better have finished it if you're going to pitch a fiction agent. It's not always the case, but mostly the case. But with nonfiction, the idea is you sell the book with a proposal. So, an agent in this arena is going to be expecting that maybe you have chapter summaries, maybe you have a sample chapter. So those are going to be our early goals for this sort of thing. But I think baseline introductory section is going to be the best place to start, and getting an idea of potential agents is the other great place to start. So how does that sound for you?Dr. MeganSuper exciting, slightly intimidating.Jess LaheyOkay.Dr. MeganBecause what if...I'm like, oh no, what if they love it, and now I've got to, like, crank out this whole book. Like, oh my gosh!Jess LaheyYeah. Oh, it's scary. Like, The Gift of Failure stuff happened really fast. I got my dream agent who had been chasing, I don't know if you know this story, but I chased her for 10 years. I knew she was the right agent for me, but I kept sending her projects that weren't quite right, and The Gift of Failure happened to be right, but everything happened really fast after that. So, I've done like a crash proposal and agent acquisition, but I've also done, you know, the slower version, The Addiction Inoculation version. So, I totally get that each piece of this can be really scary, especially when it needs to happen fast and there isn't any urgency. It's not like you know, but we're also going to talk about articles that you could start writing for the media that will start being test balloons for this idea, because it helps if you have an article that does well on the topic that you're addressing.Dr. Megan Yes, and that would be maybe a whole umbrella conversation, but, yeah, I actually was wondering about that, because...Jess LaheyAnd that could be a whole episode.Dr. MeganOf all these links to the amazing articles. And I'm like, oh no, you haven't done any of that, like, you know, sort of, but not really.Jess LaheyWe'll do a whole episode on that, and especially on how to pitch those, how to think about those. And yeah, we'll be doing a whole entire episode on pitching articles that are in line with what you would like to write for next book. There are lots and lots of authors who do send up these test balloons to see what sticks. I know lots of them that do that, and there's a balance to me made between including content for the potential book and still sending up that test balloon. So, we'll talk about all of that in a separate episode, but for now, looking for potential agents writing that introductory thing, and then we're going to get together in like two weeks or so, and we'll start, and we'll start talking about actual... we'll actually do stuff.Dr. MeganAmazing, yes!Jess LaheyBecause this book needs to happen, I'm really excited about it. I know you're excited about it, and I'm really just honored to be a part of helping in any way.Dr. Megan Mutual and likewise, and this is super exciting.Jess LaheyAnd the dogs have pretty much behaved themselves today, so hopefully they'll continue to behave themselves. All right, if you want to get the rest of this series, and I think, I think I'm going to call it something like, I have an idea now what? That kind of idea, but if you want to be a part and listen to the rest of this series, you're going to have to become a supporter of the podcast. Becoming a supporter of the podcast gets you other stuff too, like First Pages, the Booklab thing that we just recorded a bunch of episodes. I don't know if you've ever listened to Booklab, but we get submissions from very brave listeners who give us their first pages, and then we talk about whether or not we turn the page, and we critique them, and it's really fun. And then you get other bonus materials as well. So, think about becoming a supporter, and I'm really excited about this new series. So, thank you for being a guinea pig, because it takes a lot of bravery to do that.Dr. MeganWell. Thank you. I'm super excited and nervous and excited.Jess LaheyAll right, until next week, and this is for you specifically, keep your butt in the chair and your head in the game. The Hashtag AmWriting podcast is produced by Andrew Perella. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
Are your expectations helping—or hurting—your child? Is your own anxiety fueling theirs? Does your child feel overwhelmed by school, stress, or the pressure to be perfect? If you're unsure how to support your child without adding to their stress, you're not alone. In this episode, Ned Johnson and I explore why so many kids are struggling—and what you can do to truly help.
Join Dr. Diana Hill on The Wise Effort Show as she interviews Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of 'The Self-Driven Child' and their new book 'The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child.' They discuss foundational strategies for parenting that include establishing a strong connection, acting as a consultant rather than a manager, communicating healthy expectations, teaching an accurate model of reality, motivating children without trying to change them, being a non-anxious presence, and encouraging radical downtime. The episode offers insights, examples, and personal stories, underscoring the importance of balancing support with autonomy to foster responsible, self-driven children.Listen and Learn About:The Self-Driven Child PrinciplesThe Importance of Connection in ParentingDebunking the Myth of a Linear Path to SuccessThe Importance of Psychological RichnessThe Hero's Journey and Personal SetbacksRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeWant to enhance your movement? Take Diana's audio course, "Level Up Your Movement." It's on pre-sale today for a special subscriber-only discount ($40 off for a limited time) and will be available on March 3, 2025.Get our new book I Know I Should Exercise, But…44 Reasons We Don't Move and How to Get Over Them. I wrote it with Katy Bowman, and it will be available on March 4, 2025.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2025!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and
The post How to Talk about Raising a Self-Driven Child with William Stixrud, Ph.D and Ned Johnson appeared first on Dr Robyn Silverman.
William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-driven Child, share how parents can build connection, support autonomy, set healthy expectations, and create more joy and calm in family life.Full Show NotesAs our children grow into teenagers, parents often find themselves uncertain about how deeply to intervene. We know our kids need our involvement and guidance, but teenagers also crave autonomy and independence. Teens often appear distant and difficult, getting frustrated when we try to help solve their problems, yet feeling hurt when we don't show enough interest. Add stress about school, extracurriculars, and the future into the mix, and family life can quickly spiral into frequent conflict, anxiety, and disconnection.How can we give our teenagers the steady presence they need without micromanaging or inadvertently amplifying their stress? What does being a relaxed, positive, and supportive parent actually look like in daily practice? How can we inspire our teens to be driven, motivated, and self-directed without resorting to threats, bribes, or constant reminders?Today's guests, William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, offer compassionate, practical solutions from their new book, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-driven Child. Bill is a clinical neuropsychologist, and Ned is the founder of Prep Matters. After two bestselling books on parenting and educational motivation, their latest interactive workbook provides powerful exercises and reflective prompts to help parents foster resilience, autonomy, and joy in their families. Together, Bill and Ned show how parents can become calm, confident leaders who empower teens rather than push or control them.Building a Calm and Confident Parental PresenceBill and Ned share why being a calm, non-anxious presence is one of the most powerful ways to support our teens. Rather than reflecting back our children's stress or adding to it with our own worries, they recommend setting the goal of becoming less emotionally reactive. Bill and Ned offer practical strategies, including meditation and cognitive practices, to train ourselves out of fear-based interactions. This calm approach reinforces teens' belief that they can handle life's ups and downs without parents needing to intervene constantly.Healthy Expectations vs. Anxiety-Driven PressureHow high should parents set their expectations? Bill and Ned dive deep into how expectations can provide either healthy motivation or become harmful sources of anxiety. They remind parents that expressing gentle confidence—that our teens are capable if they work at something—is far healthier and more motivating than demanding perfect outcomes. Bill and Ned reveal thoughtful ways to assess and realign your family's expectations around what truly matters to you and your teen.Using Joy and Humor to ConnectIt's easy for family life with teens to center solely around problems to solve—grades, chores, social relationships—leaving everyone exhausted and joyless. In this episode, Ned and Bill emphasize why prioritizing joyful family rituals like Friday movie nights, outings, or humor-filled interactions are so essential. By carving out time simply to enjoy and laugh together, you communicate that your child's presence is valued and loved unconditionally, no matter the stressors you face.Helping Teens Discover Their Own PathMany teens feel overwhelmed by other people's expectations—parents, teachers, coaches—and lose sight of what they truly want or care about. Bill and Ned offer profound insights into how to ask non-threatening, reflective questions about what teens genuinely love and value. Learning to help your teens identify their intrinsic motivators rather than external pressures is vital to building lifelong skills and confidence.In this Episode, we also discussTalking to teens about their core valuesThe surprising importance of "passionate pastimes"Addressing perfectionism and self-criticismStrategies to parent anxiety-prone or avoidant teensIf you're looking for proven approaches to calm anxiety around parenting teens and foster self-driven motivation, you won't want to miss Bill and Ned's tested wisdom. Their thoughtful, compassionate insights help every parent gracefully navigate the teenage years. Listen now, and make sure to subscribe and share!
Ever find yourself getting into a battle of wills with your kid and wondering where you went wrong? In this episode, we interview Bill Stixrud, Ph.D., a clinical neuropsychologist, and Ned Johnson, who is a regular guest and friend of ours here at No Guilt Mom. Ned & Bill have co-authored several national best-sellers and now have a new book out, The Seven Principals for Raising a Self-Driven Child (A Workbook), in which they discuss how parents can avoid getting into arguments with their kids and put connection first, rather than correction. In this episode, we dive into the critical importance of remaining a calm and non-reactive presence as a parent. Bill and Ned talk about the benefits of connection over control, understanding stress responses, and practical techniques like meditation for regulating ourselves as parents independently of our interactions with our kids. Bill and Ned share their own charming personal anecdotes in addition to giving us all great practical advice to help us manage stress and improve our relationships with our kids. Resources We Shared: Lost your temper and regret it? Repair your relationship with your child in less than 17 seconds with our FREE 3 Actions To Take After You Say Something To Your Kids You Regret Join our FREE No Guilt Mom Podcast group Get Ned and Bill's new book HERE! Visit No Guilt Mom Follow us on Instagram! Check out our No Guilt Mom Amazon Shop with recommended books and books from podcast guests HERE! Rate & Review the No Guilt Mom Podcast on Apple here. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Listen on Spotify? You can rate us there too! Check out our favorite deals and discounts from our amazing sponsors here! #parentingpodcast #parentingtips #selfcare #mentalload #kids #teenager #toddler #preschooler #baby #self-drivenchild, #emotionalregulation,#parentingstrategies, #motivation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Send us a textEp 178: Ned Johnson joins Dr Jessica Hochman on "Your Child is Normal" and they explore the complexities of parenting, emphasizing the importance of connection, understanding, and enjoying the journey with children. Ned shares insights from his new book, "Seven principles for raising self-driven children", highlighting practical strategies for building lasting relationships with their children.To purchase Ned's new book The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook click hereDr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children. Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner. For more content from Dr Jessica Hochman:Instagram: @AskDrJessicaYouTube channel: Ask Dr JessicaWebsite: www.askdrjessicamd.com-For a plant-based, USDA Organic certified vitamin supplement, check out : Llama Naturals Vitamin and use discount code: DRJESSICA20-To test your child's microbiome and get recommendations, check out: Tiny Health using code: DRJESSICA Do you have a future topic you'd like Dr Jessica Hochman to discuss? Email Dr Jessica Hochman askdrjessicamd@gmail.com.The information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only. She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals. If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.
It was wonderful to have Ned Johnson back on the podcast to talk about his new workbook for parents. This is a companion book to “The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives”. We discuss the importance of having control as a protective factor in preventing youth mental health challenges, especially with anxiety and depression. Here are links to Ned Johnson and William Stixrud's other co-authored books: The Seven Principles for Raising Self-Driven Children – A Workbook The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their LivesWhat Do You Say? How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home. You can follow Ned's Fabulous advice on his IG and Tik Tok: @theothernedjohnson And on LinkedIn here.Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Trust Your Kids More and Worry About Them Less isn't just advice—it's a revolutionary mindset that could change your parenting forever. In this powerful episode of The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast, host Ginny Yurich sits down with Ned Johnson and Dr. William Stixrud, authors of The Self-Driven Child and The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child, to explore what children really need to thrive in today's high-pressure, performance-driven culture. Drawing from decades of experience in neuropsychology, education, and working with families, Ned and Bill share a deeply hopeful and science-backed message: when kids feel a sense of control over their lives, their mental health flourishes, their motivation ignites, and their joy returns. Together, they unpack the cultural myths that are crushing childhood—like the belief that success hinges on relentless achievement or acceptance to a prestigious college. Instead, they advocate for autonomy, play, radical downtime, and the steady practice of parental trust. With humor, warmth, and actionable insight, this conversation offers an honest look at the fears we carry as parents and how to loosen our grip without letting go. If you've ever wondered how to raise a resilient, happy, and truly self-driven child, this episode will equip you to start today—with confidence. ** Get your copy of The Seven Principles of a Self-Directed child here Learn more about Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ned Johnson is very much alive... But not according to the Social Security Administration. So, the 82-year-old from Seattle and his wife Pam have to prove it. It hasn’t been easy. The agency is going through staffing chaos. Ned and Pam joined Seattle Now to tell their story. We can only make Seattle Now because listeners support us. Tap here to make a gift and keep Seattle Now in your feed. Got questions about local news or story ideas to share? We want to hear from you! Email us at seattlenow@kuow.org, leave us a voicemail at (206) 616-6746 or leave us feedback online.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I'm thrilled to welcome back two favorite podcast guests and just all-around wonderful humans, Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson. You might know them from their bestselling book The Self-Driven Child, which I often refer to on this show as one of the most important resources in my parenting life. Well, Bill and Ned have a new phenomenal resource that I can't wait to share with you — a workbook based on their beloved book called The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child. Today's episode features a rich and deep conversation about some of the concepts they support parents in navigating in their new workbook, like why fostering autonomy is key to motivation, emotional well-being, and long-term success, why connection matters more than control, how to support our kids without trying to change them, and ways we can create a home environment that builds confidence and trust. They also share practical strategies for effective communication, including how to guide our kids through challenges without adding pressure or anxiety. As parents, it is scary to let go of control and to trust our kids to navigate their own problems, but as you'll hear in this conversation, this is exactly what they need to be motivated. We know we can't change them, but we can support them in finding the reason to change for themselves. About William R. Stixrud, Ph.D William R. Stixrud, Ph.D., is a clinical neuropsychologist and founder of The Stixrud Group. He is a member of the teaching faculty at Children's National Medical Center and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Additionally, Dr. Stixrud is the author, with Ned Johnson, of the nationally bestselling book, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, What Do You Say: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home, and The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook. About Ned Johnson Ned Johnson is president and “tutor-geek” of PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring and standardized test preparation. A battle-tested veteran of test prep, stress regulation and optimizing student performance, Ned has spent roughly 50,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests, learn to manage their anxiety, and develop their own motivation to succeed. Ned is the host of the The Self-Driven Child podcast. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, NPR, The Guardian, Wall Street Journal, US News, Seventeen, and many others. Things you'll learn Why empowering children with autonomy fosters their development, motivation, and ability to navigate their own reality Why connection matters more than control, and parents should act as supportive guides rather than enforcers The role of self-reflection, an understanding of different temperaments, and a willingness to listen without pressure in effective parenting (guiding) How to cultivate respectful environments where children feel safe to explore, make decisions, and learn from their experience Why raising self-driven children leads to the best outcomes for their lives as self-determined and self-actualized adults Resources mentioned The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook by Dr. William Stixrud & Ned Johnson Ned Johnson / Prep Matters What Do You Say? How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Teens Overcome the Pressure and Succeed by Ned Johnson and Emily Warner Eskelsen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Have you ever wondered if trusting your teen more could actually make them more responsible? Or do you find yourself constantly worrying and feeling like it's your job to control everything in their life? In this episode of Power Your Parenting – Moms with Teens, host Colleen O'Grady sits down with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, co-authors of The Self-Driven Child and their latest workbook, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child. Together, they explore how fostering a sense of autonomy in teens can actually make them more motivated and resilient. They discuss the critical difference between control and influence, the importance of parents being a non-anxious presence, and how stepping back can help teens step up. Through relatable examples and real-life experiences, they illustrate how letting go of excessive monitoring and trusting teens to navigate their own decisions—while still providing guidance—can lead to stronger relationships and more self-sufficient young adults. William Stixrud, Ph.D. is a clinical neuropsychologist and a faculty member at Children's National Medical Center and George Washington University Medical School. He lectures and writes widely on the adolescent brain, meditation, and the effects of stress, sleep deprivation, and technology overload on the brain. He is on the board of the David Lynch Foundation. Ned Johnson is the founder of PrepMatters and the coauthor of Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Teens Overcome the Pressure and Succeed. A sought-after speaker and teen coach for study skills, parent-teen dynamics, and anxiety management, his work has been featured on NPR, NewsHour, U.S. News & World Report, Time, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal. Here are three key takeaways from this conversation: First, teens need to develop a sense of control over their own lives to build confidence and resilience—over-managing them often backfires. Second, maintaining a calm and supportive presence as a parent is more effective than reacting with anxiety, as emotions are contagious. Lastly, success isn't defined by a perfect academic record or a linear path—giving kids room to make mistakes and learn from them is one of the greatest gifts a parent can provide. This episode will leave you with a fresh perspective on parenting and practical ways to create a more positive, less stressful dynamic with your teen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Help ISHA WARRIORS help more teens! When we raise $2,000 we get to advertise this podcast and the free work we offer teens to 100,000 people! SHARE MONDAY MINDSET WITH MORE TEENSDonations make it possible for us to continue to produce life changing podcasts and provide free yoga to teens!! DONATE HEREAll of our teen yoga content is now FREE! Go check out www.ishawarriors.comToday I have Sarah Johnson on. As co-founder of JamboJon, an Utah based website development company, Sarah's unique experience with sales, psychology, and human connection give her the ability to create websites that marry technology, storytelling and graphics. Show Highlights:What's the same and different about teens today compared to our generation? Teens have unique struggles we never had to face. No one ever filmed us, we didn't have a play by play of world wide catastrophes at our finger tips…teens empathy can be crippling and cause anxiety AND it can be their superpower because they are compassionate.How I learned to Heal My Voice.Jodi Brown's Book, “Depression Fighter"- What I thought the rules were about using my voice (always have to be nice, kind, polite, take care of others before self, hide in shame.)- What I learned how powerful my voice can be. (Stand up for self, use voice for good, I don't have to earn worthiness, I deserve to be loved. Kobe Campbell, “Healing isn't becoming the best version of your self, healing is knowing that all the parts of yourself deserve to be loved.")- Physical healing: deal with the physical problems (doctors, medicine, vitamins, taking care of my physical body)- Emotional healing (Shadow work, facing what I fear, using my voice to create boundaries, being honest)Sarah's new podcast with her daughter: Mom I'm Home!Two generations exploring what it means to take brave risks and be adventurous, but also how important secure attachment and safe environments are to rest and digest. (My daughter Anna is 22, an Art student. She and I host this podcast)Why is rest so important?Fight or Flight mode is designed to help us be superheroes- but it is intended for short term use…our problem is that we stay in this state. It is essential to have a space to reset and rest. Have a home to come back to. A safe place where we can face out emotions.Science of Rats. The Self Driven Child by WilliamStixrud and Ned Johnson. The National ScientificCouncil on the Developing Child for those 3 types of stress and their impact (of 13-15)National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, "Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain: Working Paper 3," Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, Reports &Working Papers, 2005, access May 16, 2017.CHECK OUT MORE ABOUT SARAH:Company Website: https://jambojon.comPersonal Website: htSend us a textSupport the showClick below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!Donate Here
In this episode, Elizabeth and Vicki are joined by education experts Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud, authors of the book The Self-Driven Child and of the new workbook for parents, 7 Principles for Raising the Self Driven Child for a thought-provoking discussion on how to empower your child to become self-driven, allowing them to navigate their own educational journey with confidence and independence. We tackled the intricate dynamics of parenting children as they transition to college and the overarching message was clear: encouraging self-management and resilience is vital for students facing the pressures of academic life. Join us as we dissect these ideas and outline practical steps that parents can take to ensure their students thrive – in college and beyond.Thank you for listening! Much more information for college parents can be found on our website, College Parent Central Find us on Twitter at @CollParCentral Sign up for our newsletter for ongoing information Please leave us a review at “Love the Podcast” to help others find us.
Did you know the pre-frontal cortex where executive functioning lives doesn't fully develop until our early 30s???I still struggle with some executive functioning skills like time management and following a plan, but if I learned anything from this interview, it's that we ALL can continue to grow, change, and improve. You are not married to your weaknesses!If we can help our kids BEST develop their executive function, they will be more independent, better at their jobs, find deeper relationships, and be better parents themselves. It's THAT important!My guest today, Noel Foy, helps us understand what executive functioning is, how it develops over time, and some really practical ways to build it best in our kids.Her question, “What is your plan for that?” is pure gold, and I know you'll love all the little strategies she shares to reduce anxiety in our kids while improving their executive function. As we teach life skills and independence, we are also teaching executive functioning skills! Score!
A re-uploaded version. Welcome to this new episode. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ned Johnson, a wonderful educator, author, and speaker. He is an expert in helping teens and tweens navigate the transition to adulthood, by bringing them the tools they need to be both successful and happy. Ned has found that some of the leading causes of poor test performance is the stress and pressure that youths feel to get good grades, and perform well. What is the solution? Can the solution really be as simple as helping youth feel connected, getting them to appreciate their inherent self-worth, and having more fun? Check out this episode to hear some of Ned's insights into this important and fascinating topic! Check out Ned's amazing services at PrepMatters Check out Ned's wonderful Podcast "PrepTalks" here Find Ned's books here
Welcome to this new episode. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ned Johnson, a wonderful educator, author, and speaker. He is an expert in helping teens and tweens navigate the transition to adulthood, by bringing them the tools they need to be both successful and happy. Ned has found that some of the leading causes of poor test performance is the stress and pressure that youths feel to get good grades, and perform well. What is the solution? Can the solution really be as simple as helping youth feel connected, getting them to appreciate their inherent self-worth, and having more fun? Check out this episode to hear some of Ned's insights into this important and fascinating topic! Check out Ned's amazing services at PrepMatters Check out Ned's wonderful Podcast "PrepTalks" here Find Ned's books here
Listen in as our Head of School, Howe Whitman, parent Alice Kim, and College Admissions Director John Moscatiello discuss what we at Wilberforce envision when we talk about your child reaching their full potential. What does it mean, from a Wilberforce perspective, to be prepared for college and beyond? As a school, we have expressed the answers to these questions in our Portrait of a Graduate. Find out more—listen now. Links:Wilberforce Portrait of a Graduate Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic, Jennifer Wallace The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives,William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson
Hi #AmWriters, Jess here. I've been wanting to do an episode on workbooks forever - on any form of companion text that pairs with nonfiction books, really. How do you propose them, write them, format them? You know me, I like the granular details. Fortunately, Ned Johnson and Dr. William Stixrud are publishing The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child in March, and Ned was willing to come on the podcast and teach me all about the nuts and bolts of putting a workbook out into the world. This episode truly flattened my learning curve, and I hope it does the same for you. People and things we talked about in this episode:William StixrudKatie Hurley and A Year of Positive Thinking for TeensTina Payne Bryson, The Whole-Brain Child and Bottom Line for BabyStrengthsFinder2.0TriMetrixMoo.comCan you make custom post-it notes? Yes, yes you can. The Disengaged Teen by Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny AndersonLAST Last Call: Join the Winter 2025 Blueprint ChallengeIf you have big goals for 2025 that include writing, finishing or revising a book, you'll want to join us for the Winter 2025 Blueprint Challenge.We started January 5, but it's JUST not too late to jump in. We'll be walking Blueprinters through the 14 steps of the Blueprint over 10 weeks. Some of the steps are very short and we combined them into one episode—and the first step is indeed on the shorter side, so you still have time to catch up if you subscribe now.Every episode speaks to fiction writers, memoir writers, and nonfiction writers. There are workbooks, and you will get a link to the digital download of the Blueprint book of your choice.We'll also be hosting weekly AMAs (ask me anything), write-alongs, and Zoom meet-ups with coaches—and KJ will be writing her own Blueprint, and Jennie will be coaching her through it in weekly episodes. For more about the challenge, check out these past posts:* What the Blueprint is and why Jennie made it* Introducing the winter book coach hosts* Overcoming Pantsing Pitfalls: How the Blueprint Method Can Save Your Story* The Blueprint is the Solution for Time-Strapped Writers* How to Use a Blueprint for Revision* Befriending the BlueprintIf you finish your Blueprint during the Challenge, you will be eligible to win a review from either Jennie or KJ. (If you missed the #AmWriting Success Story about the writer who won the Blueprint Sprint grand prize in 2022, give it a listen. It's very inspiring! It's right HERE.)It's going to be such a good time and we'd love to have you join us!The Blueprint Challenge is for Supporters only—10 weeks to plan the book you want to write instead of 90K words figuring it out. You in? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
The new year has begun. 2024 is over and whatever happened in 2024 DOES matter. However, you can create a fresh template for the new year, especially regarding your parenting. Take a listen as Dijon discusses three essential ways to help create a vibrant parenting atmosphere for you and your children. Also, engage with the poll question as well. And as always, Listen. Enjoy. Share. Fund. Repeat. Resources Bringing Up Boys: Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of men by Dr. James Dobson The Wonder of Boys: What parents, mentors and educators can do to shape boys into exceptional men by Michael Gurian, PhD What Do You Say?: How to talk with kids to build motivation, stress tolerance, and a happy home by William Stixrud, PhD and Ned Johnson
If you are a regular listener to The Peaceful Parenting Podcast you know that at the end of every Guest Expert interview, I ask them if they could go back in time and give advice to their younger parent self, what advice would they give themselves? There are so many gems of wisdom that come from that question that I thought it would be fun to end 2024 with a mashup of all of the advice from our guests of 2024. We talk about: 3:00 Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) with Casey Ehrlich 4:13 Understanding and Loving Spicy Kids with Mary Van Geffen 5:23 Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky 5:54 From Strict Disciplinarian to Peaceful Parenting Dad and Coach with Kyle Wester 8:32 Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids with Stephanie Pinto 13:17 When Your Child is Different with Sonali Vongchusiri 15:21 Neurodivergent Insights with Dr. Megan Anna Neff 17:31 Parenting Middle Schoolers with Phyllis Fagell 21:00 Conscious Parenting with Destini Davis 22:01 Ruth Whippman Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys- BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood 24:05 ADHD and Feeding/Eating Challenges with Dr. Roberto Olivardia 24:42 How to Help Kids Manage Stress and Difficulty with Ned Johnson 30:08 Greg Santucci on Sensory Processing 33:10 Kristen Day Play Based Learning: Or Why You Don't Need to Get Your Child Ready For Kindergarten 36:33 Why Is Parenting So Hard with Yolanda Williams 38:28 Sexism and Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World with Jo Ann Finkelstein 40:19 School Avoidance and Anxiety with Lynn Lyons 44:32 Strong-Willed Kids with Vivek Patel 46:32 Disordered Eating and Body Image Issues with Luciana Rosu-Sieza and Alexis Sauls Ramos 48:51 How to Help Our Little Ones Sleep with Kim Hawley 52:49 When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic with Jennifer Wallace Download the episode transcript HERE Resources mentioned in this episode: Casey Ehrlich https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode139/ Mary Van Geffen https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode138/ Eve Rodsky https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode30/ and Eve's book Find Your Unicorn Space Kyle Wester https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode141/ Stephanie Pinto https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode-144-raising-emotionally-intelligent-kids/ and Stephanie's Book- From Chaos to Connection Sonali Vongchusiri https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode-146-when-your-child-is-different-with-sonali-vongchusiri/ Dr. Megan Anna Neff https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/neurodivergent-insights-with-dr-megan-anna-neff-episode-147/ and Dr. Neff's book Dr. Megan Anna Neff's book Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask! Phyllis Fagell https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/parenting-middle-schoolers-with-phyllis-fagell-episode-151/ and Phyllis' books Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers Destini Davis https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/conscious-parenting-with-destini-ann-episode-153/ and Destini's book Very Intentional Parenting: Awakening the Empowered Parent Within Ruth Whippman https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/raising-emotionally-healthy-boys-boymom-reimagining-boyhood-episode-155/ and Ruth's book BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity Ned Johnson https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/how-to-help-kids-manage-stress-and-difficulty-with-ned-johnson-episode-156/ and Ned's books What Do You Say with Ned Johnson and William Stixrud and Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud (PhD) and Ned Johnson Dr. Roberto Olivardia https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/adhd-and-feeding-eating-challenges-with-dr-roberto-olivardia-episode-149/ and Dr. Olivardia's book The Adonis Complex: How to Identify, Treat and Prevent Body Obsession in Men and Boys by Dr. Roberto Olivardia Greg Santucci https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/greg-santucci-on-sensory-processing-and-live-qa-with-my-membership-community-episode-157/ Kristen Day https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/play-based-learning-or-why-you-dont-need-to-get-your-child-ready-for-kindergarten-episode-159/ Yoland Williams https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/why-is-parenting-so-hard-with-yolanda-williams-episode-160/ Jo Ann Finkelstein https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/sexism-and-sensibility-raising-empowered-resilient-girls-in-the-modern-world-with-jo-ann-finkelstein-episode-164/ and Jo Ann's book Sexism & Sensibility Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls In The Modern World Lynn Lyons https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/school-avoidance-and-anxiety-with-lynn-lyons-episode-166/ and Lynn's book Anxious Kids Anxious Parents by Lynn Lyons Vivek Patel https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/strong-willed-kids-with-vivek-patel-and-qa-with-membership-episode-168/ Luciana Rosu-Sieza and Alexis Sauls Ramos https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/disordered-eating-and-body-image-issues-with-luciana-rosu-sieza-and-alexis-sauls-ramos-episode-170/ Kim Hawley https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/how-to-help-our-little-ones-sleep-with-kim-hawley-episode-172/ Jennifer Wallace https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/when-achievement-culture-becomes-toxic-with-jennifer-wallace-episode-173/ and Jennifer's book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic- and What We Can Do About It Connect with Sarah Rosensweet: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup YouTube: Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet @peacefulparentingwithsarah4194 Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com Join us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.php
Part 2 with Dr Ned Johnson where we discuss strategies for motivating children to do chores and homework, such as involving them in decision-making and offering support rather than control. We also talk about the big picture---where we hope to form strong relationships with our children, and also have children who grow into independent, self-reliant adults. The conversation concludes with the reminder that the time spent with children during their upbringing is crucial and should be focused on building trust, support, and independence. Ned Johnson is an author, speaker, and founder of PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring, educational planning, and standardized test preparation. Ned coaches clients to manage their anxiety, and find the motivation to reach their full potential. In 2006, Ned co-authored the book Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Students Overcome the Pressure and Succeed, which tackles the outsized role anxiety plays in standardized testing. With Dr. William Stixrud, Ned co-authored The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives and “What Do You Say?: How to Talk With Kids to Promote Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home”. Aa sought-after speaker and teen coach on study skills, sleep deprivation, parent-teen dynamics, and test anxiety, and his work is featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, BBC, and many others. Dr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children. Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner. Do you have a future topic you'd like Dr Jessica Hochman to discuss? Email Dr Jessica Hochman askdrjessicamd@gmail.com. Follow her on Instagram: @AskDrJessicaSubscribe to her YouTube channel! Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to this podcast: Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to her mailing list: www.askdrjessicamd.comThe information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only. She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals. If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.
Episode 153 with Ned Johnson, co-author of 'The Self-Driven Child' discusses the importance of giving children autonomy and control over their own decisions. He explains that a low sense of control is the most stressful thing a person can experience and can lead to anxiety and other negative outcomes. Johnson emphasizes the need for parents to shift from protecting their children to helping them protect themselves, allowing them to develop problem-solving skills and resilience. He also highlights the importance of being a "non-anxious presence" in our children's lives. To help them, consider playing the role of a "consultant" and validating children's feelings, rather than immediately jumping in to solve their problems. Ned Johnson is an author, speaker, and founder of PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring, educational planning, and standardized test preparation. Ned coaches clients to manage their anxiety, and find the motivation to reach their full potential. In 2006, Ned co-authored the book Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Students Overcome the Pressure and Succeed, which tackles the outsized role anxiety plays in standardized testing. With Dr. William Stixrud, Ned co-authored The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives and “What Do You Say?: How to Talk With Kids to Promote Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home”. Aa sought-after speaker and teen coach on study skills, sleep deprivation, parent-teen dynamics, and test anxiety, and his work is featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, BBC, and many others. Dr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children. Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner. Do you have a future topic you'd like Dr Jessica Hochman to discuss? Email Dr Jessica Hochman askdrjessicamd@gmail.com. Follow her on Instagram: @AskDrJessicaSubscribe to her YouTube channel! Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to this podcast: Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to her mailing list: www.askdrjessicamd.comThe information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only. She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals. If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.
Neuropsychologist William Stixrud PhD and Ned Johnson talk about their gamechanging book "The Self-Driven Child" and explain the importance of supporting our child's sense of control and autonomy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, Lisa and Tovah discuss:The nuisance stressors your teen has to handle every day. Building resilience in the face of uncertainty. What it means to be a buffer for your child. Parenting styles that have been beneficial or harmful to building resiliency in teams.Why you have to work on yourself to build resiliency in your children and teens.Key Takeaways: Stressors happen to your teen every single day. Helping them through these nuisance stressors will help them build the resilience to handle any stressor.As a child's arousal to the stressor increases, the parent tunes in to the child to connect with them in what they need. Over time, your child will learn to manage that stress on their own because they know they are not alone. Holding healthy boundaries helps your children build resilience. Boundaries can come from a gentle place of care and communication and aren't harmful. Children need their parents to make the hard decisions and hold those boundaries.Building resilience in your child begins with you. “It's so important that parents be forgiving of themselves because it is in this relationship that our teens learn how to succeed, however, you want to define success, and resilience is part of that success.” – Dr. Tovah KleinAbout Dr. Tovah Klein: Tovah P. Klein, Ph.D. is a psychology professor at Barnard College, Columbia University; Director of the Center for Toddler Development; and author of Raising Resilience: How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty and How Toddlers Thrive: What Parents Can Do Today for Children Ages 2-5 to Plant the Seeds of Lifelong Success. In her roles as a researcher and professor and in direct care with parents and children for over thirty years, Klein has helped to define what every child needs to thrive, regardless of their life situations. Working worldwide with programs addressing the needs of children, she is highly sought after as a developmental expert on a range of timely topics and an advisor to children's media and organizations, including National Geographic Kids, AppleTV+, The Children's Museum of Manhattan, the Hunts Point Alliance for Children, Room to Grow, and Ubuntu Pathways South Africa.Episode References:#040 Building Motivation & Stress Tolerance for Happy Teens with Ned Johnson https://www.flourishcoachingco.com/podcast/040-building-motivation-stress-tolerance-for-happy-teens/ Get Lisa's Free on-demand video: How-to guide for your teen to choose the right major, college, & career...(without painting themselves into a corner, missing crucial deadlines, or risking choices you both regret). flourishcoachingco.com/video Connect with Tovah:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tovahklein Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/howtoddlersthrive Website: https://www.tovahklein.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tovah-klein Preorder her latest book, releasing 09/03/2024, at: https://www.tovahklein.com/books Connect with Lisa:Website: https://www.flourishcoachingco.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@flourishcoachingcoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/flourishcoachingco/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/flourish-coaching-co
Today we are talking about the roots of "The Self Driven Child" with my co-author, Dr. William R. Stixrud. Discover how our understanding of autonomy and control transformed our approach to parenting and education. We explore the neuroscience behind stress and motivation, sharing our journey from initial insights to the profound impact our work has had globally. Join us as we recount our Marvel origin story and reveal the science and anecdotes that shaped our bestselling books.Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist, joins me, Ned Johnson, as we discuss the key principles of our collaboration. From handling stress to fostering intrinsic motivation, this episode covers it all. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to our podcast, this episode offers valuable insights into creating a supportive environment for children and young adults. Episode Highlights:[0:34] - Welcoming Dr. William Stixrud and introducing the topic of autonomy and control.[1:34] - The global impact of "The Self Driven Child" and the importance of a sense of control.[2:12] - Discussing stress and its effects on the brain from Dr. Stixrud's early research.[5:39] - How stress and control relate to motivation and mental health.[6:28] - Personal anecdotes and professional experiences on stress and motivation.[8:45] - The concept of autonomy in parenting and education.[13:17] - The bi-directional relationship between stress and brain function.[17:07] - Practical advice on supporting autonomy in children.[20:24] - The impact of test preparation on stress and performance.[25:38] - Addressing the physiological aspects of stress and anxiety.[30:02] - Reflections on the journey of writing "The Self Driven Child".[31:03] - Concluding thoughts and a sneak peek into the next episode. If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
We're continuing summer break with #8 of our Top 10 Season 1 episodes. Can freeing your child from the shackles of constant parental control lead to a happier, more successful future? Kaity and Adriane unlock the secrets to self-driven learning with Dr. William R. Stixrud, a renowned clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of "The Self-Driven Child." The episode also explores: the power of shifting from fear-driven parenting to fostering a calm, supportive atmosphere that allows children to flourishthe transition from protective to consultative parenting as kids growpractical advice on managing parental anxieties through therapy, exercise, and meditation, ultimately benefiting children by reducing control tendenciesthe contentious issue of homework is tackled head-on, advocating for a respectful, supportive approach that honors children's individuality and promotes autonomyand so much more!By understanding the critical relationship between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala and recognizing the biochemical factors influencing child behavior, we can create nurturing environments where children feel valued and empowered to take charge of their lives.ABOUT THE GUEST:Dr. William (Bill) R. Stixrud is a clinical neuropsychologist, founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children's National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. He is the author, with Ned Johnson, of the bestseller "The Self-Driven Child." He is also a frequent lecturer on adolescent brain development, stress & more.
In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I interview Greg Santucci a pediatric OT and founding Director of Power Play Pediatric Therapy. We discuss what the sensory processing system is and how to decode behaviour through cultivating a “sensory lens”. This conversation was recorded in my membership, where community members were able to ask Greg their questions. We talk about: 6:00 The “hidden” senses 9:00 What sensory processing is 12:23 Why sensory seeking behaviour happens 13:50 What “regulation” is 21:28 How parents can start looking at behaviour through a sensory lens 24:00 Trying to figure out the root cause of behaviour 27:00 Toddlers repeatedly dumping things 30:30 How to improve interoceptive awareness with kids 35:00 Accommodating sensory challenges/preferences at school 40:47 Potty training challenges in a daycare setting 47:00 Teaching strategies to manage sensory challenges Download the episode transcript HERE Resources mentioned in this episode: www.reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to join my membership for the rest of June. You still have time to join the live Q&A with Ned Johnson, my workshop on healthy self-esteem, and access our weekly Office Hours Greg on Facebook: Greg Santucci, Occupational Therapist Greg's resources: https://gregsantucci.com/ Connect with Sarah Rosensweet Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com Join us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.php
In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I interview one of my favourite people and author of two parenting books, Ned Johnson. We discuss how to talk to kids to build stress tolerance, manage anxiety, build intrinsic motivation, and self regulate screen time. Ned has been on the podcast twice before- be sure to check out the other two episodes linked below once you're done listening to this one. We talk about: 2:17 How you can get access to a live Q&A with Ned 6:35 Increasing stress tolerance in kids 9:30 The difference between resilience and stress tolerance 11:00 How to help kids with their anxiety 21:48 How to help kids stuck in a loop of negative thinking 37:00 How to help kids with intrinsic motivation 48:00 How to help kids with balanced screen use Download the episode transcript HERE Resources mentioned in this episode: www.reimaginepeacefulparenting/membership to join a live Q&A with Ned Johnson, my workshop on healthy self-esteem, and access to our weekly Office Hours What Do you Say? How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home By Ned Johnson and William Stixrud https://amzn.to/3HwZuDT Raising A Self-Driven Child with Ned Johnson https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/episode8/ Bonus Q&A: What Do You Say? How to Talk to Kids to Promote Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home with Ned Johnson https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/bonusnedjohnson/ Connect with Sarah Rosensweet Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com Join us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.php
The post How to Talk to Kids about Procrastination with Ned Johnson appeared first on Dr Robyn Silverman.
In today's episode, we explore the complexities of an issue that's close to the hearts of parents, teachers, and students alike—college readiness. Alongside my friend and co-author Bill Stixrud, we discuss the crucial aspects that determine whether a high-school student is truly ready to take on the challenges of college life. We start by questioning the common rush towards college right after high school, bringing to light the concerning rates of dropout and burnout among college freshmen. Our conversation covers effective strategies for assessing and enhancing readiness, emphasizing the importance of emotional resilience and maturity over mere academic preparation. Listen in to gain insights into making the transition to college successful and sustainable.Episode Highlights:[2:26] College readiness and mental health challenges among students.[7:05] College readiness, stress tolerance, and emotional resilience.[12:21] Prioritizing life skills over academic achievement.[14:40] College readiness and the importance of self-care for students.[19:53] Importance of sleep for adolescent brain development and academic success.[24:29] Executive functions, self-evaluation, and stress management in adolescents.[30:10] Stress management and self-care for high-achieving students.[35:08] College preparation and stress management for high school students. Links & Resources:Visit SelfDrivenChild.com for more resources on developing autonomy and resilience in children.For further insights into college readiness and effective stress management strategies, check out the books “The Self-Driven Child” and “What Do You Say?” by Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud.If today's discussion resonated with you, consider exploring our books and resources to better prepare for the college journey ahead. Remember to rate, follow, share, and review our podcast if you find our content valuable. Here's to nurturing a self-driven and resilient next generation!If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
Terri continues the conversation with Ned on what we can do to reverse the trend of anxiety and learned helplessness.
We are wired to care. Care about ourselves, our learning, and each other. Ned Johnson, co-author of The Self-Driven Child, shares his experience and views on why we are becoming an uncaring society.
This week, Kaity and Adriane chatted with Ned Johnson, co-author of "The Self-Driven Child" and "What Do You Say?" about healthy brain development. Episode 42 explores:
In this episode, Lisa and Kristina discuss:Strategies for striking the balance between parental involvement and teen independence.How to listen to and validate your teen's aspirations before giving advice. Why parents need to have honest discussions about their college budget and their financial realities. The importance of highlighting your student's voice and ownership during the application process.Key Takeaways: You do not want to project your experiences, achievements, or failures on your student. They need to live their independent life, not your life vicariously. If you believe your teen is wrong, you can still validate and empathize with them before redirecting them to more constructive thoughts and behavior.It's possible to help your students see the throughlines of their desires by asking why, without telling them your thoughts.There are ways for you to talk to your student about college budget and finances without them knowing every detail of how much you make.While the journey is the student's it's still possible for the parent to play an important, supportive role. “Support has to be authentic and genuine from the parent, meaning if you're going to support your child in terms of their life, their outcomes, all those things, they have to feel that it's true.” – Kristina DooleyAbout Kristina Dooley: Kristina L. Dooley is a Certified Educational Planner (CEP) and founder of Estrela Consulting, an Ohio-based independent educational consulting firm. Kristina has more than 20 years of experience working with students from around the world, navigating the complex college and school search processes. A first-generation college student, she graduated from Hiram College (B.A.) and Kent State University (M.A.). In addition to her work with students, Kristina is an instructor for the University of California Irvine teaching College Consulting Resources, and also serves as a faculty member of the IECA Summer Training Institute for aspiring educational consultants. Kristina is the Past President of the Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA), and holds membership in AICEP, NACAC, and the Ohio and International Associations for College Admission Counseling (OACAC & IACAC). In her free time, Kristina volunteers for Beyond Type 1 and JDRF, and serves as a mentor for College Now Greater Cleveland. She resides in Northeast Ohio with her husband and their 13-year-old triplets. Episode References:Free Video: How to guide your teen to choose the right major, college, & career flourishcoachingco.com/course #048 Building Motivation & Stress Tolerance for Happy Teens with Ned Johnson #062 Gap Year: Is it a better freshmen start? #013 The Many Advantages of a Gap Year with Holly Bull Get Lisa's Free on-demand video: How-to guide for your teen to choose the right major, college, & career...(without painting themselves into a corner, missing crucial deadlines, or risking choices you both regret). flourishcoachingco.com/videoConnect with Kristina:Instagram: instagram.com/estrela_consulting Facebook: facebook.com/EstrelaConsulting LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kristinadooley Website: estrelaconsulting.com Connect with Lisa:Website: https://www.flourishcoachingco.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@flourishcoachingcoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/flourishcoachingco/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/flourish-coaching-co
If I could show you how to:* Help your children think and act independently* Build better resilience in them, and* Improve your relationship with them.How much would that be worth to you?Well, I might not be able to do the above, but this week's podcast guest can.Ned Johnson (who co-authored the fantastic book, The Self-Driven Child, with William Stixrud) and I discuss what we as parents can do to achieve all of the above list. It's a fun conversation and has given me a new lens to view parenting through as well as some really actionable approaches.“I love you too much to fight with you about your homework but is there a way I can help”If you'd like to find out more about Ned and read his books visit his website here.You can also find Ned on Instagram here and here is a link to the viral TikTok post that he mentioned.On his website, Ned has listed out insights from the Self-Driven Child. Here are just a few:* Say “It's your call' whenever you can* Foster a sense of control in your child* Be a non-anxious presence in your family* Be a consultant* Encourage flow* Take the long viewI believe, and hope, this episode will really help your family build motivation, stress tolerance, and above all, a happy home.Big hugRich Get full access to The Dad Mindset at www.thedadmindset.com/subscribe
Parents want to keep their kids safe, healthy, happy and motivated but sometimes it's hard to know what to say to achieve those goals. Conversation between parents and kids can be difficult at times, if not impossible. That's why we're excited to welcome neuropsychologist William Stixrud and test prep expert Ned Johnson to the show. They are the authors of the bestselling book, "The Self-Driven Child". Their latest book is called, "What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home". Their website is prepmatters.com. Shopify is the all-in-one commerce platform that makes it simple for anyone to start, run and grow your own successful business. With Shopify, you'll create an online store, discover new customers, and grow the following that keeps them coming back. Shopify makes getting paid simple, by instantly accepting every type of payment. With Shopify's single dashboard, you can manage orders, shipping and payments from anywhere. Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the way. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at Shopify.com/nobody.
Don't Force It: How to Get into College without Losing Yourself in the Process
In today's episode, join me in a thought-provoking conversation with Ned Johnson, author of several books and founder of PrepMatters. We delve into crucial parenting topics, sharing insights from his book, "The Self-Driven Child." Your journey to understanding and empowering your child begins here, tune in!BioNed Johnson is the founder of PrepMatters, an educational company that helps students find success in high school and get into and through college. A professional “tutor-geek” since 1993, Ned has spent more than 50,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests, learn to manage their anxiety, and develop their own motivation to succeed. With Dr. William Stixrud, Ned co-authored The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives and What Do You Say? How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home. He is the host of the The Self-Driven Child podcast and his work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, BBC, and many others. Follow Ned on LinkedIn, visit The Self-Driven Child Website, and click to listen to The Self-Driven Child Podcast.Become part of Signet's Parent Support Community here!Access free resources and learn more about Sheila and her team at Signet Education at signeteducation.com or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheilaakbar/.
On episode 206 we talk about autonomy and motivation. In a world where autonomy is key to motivation and engagement, how do we navigate this with our children, especially those who are neurodivergent? Today, we're exploring the vital role of independence and control in fostering engagement and motivation, not just in kids, but in all of us. Joining us is Ned Johnson, founder of PrepMatters and co-author of The Self-Driven Child, and What Do You Say? How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home. If you're a teacher and not yet a member of the Neurodiversity University Educator Hub, we'll be opening up registration in January. It will only be open for a limited time, so make sure you're notified when it happens. Sign up here. Ned Johnson is the founder of PrepMatters, an educational company that helps students find success in high school and in getting into college. A professional “tutor-geek” since 1993, Ned has spent more than 50,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests, learn to manage their anxiety, and develop their own motivation to succeed. He co-authored The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives and What Do You Say? How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home with Dr. William Stixrud. Ned is the host of the The Self-Driven Child podcast and his work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, BBC, and many others. BACKGROUND READING The Self-Driven Child website TikTok Instagram X, formerly Twitter
“Yes.” “Heck yeah!” “I'm in!”. Anyone else feel like a broken record agreeing to do all the things?! Well, you're not alone. So many of us Moms suffer from the yes syndrome and as a result, we over commit ourselves at work AND at home. Today, we're going to be talking all about how to find balance in all areas of your life so you can find peace and still thrive without wearing yourself out. No matter if it's the busiest time of year (hello, holiday season) or the still busy but not crazy time of the year, we'll give you tips and tricks to help you set boundaries in your life to avoid overcommitment and find a little slide of happiness for you when you need to recharge. Sound like your cup of tea (or wine)? Tap the play button, sit back, and relax! Cheers! In this episode of the No Guilt Mom podcast you'll learn: Commonly shared challenges that working moms face at home and in the workplace when it comes to overcommitting How to set boundaries and say NO to avoid overcommitting (and burnout) Practical tips for blocking off time on your calendar to ensure you've got adequate time for everything you need to do each day (including take care of YOU!) What to do when boundaries are broken and how to keep moving forward Resources We Shared In This Episode: Join our newsletter! Get connected to No Guilt Mom and get our Home Responsibility Calculator absolutely FREE, so you can make a plan to delegate the work. Visit No Guilt Mom Instagram and learn about Rainbow Planning Listen to Ned Johnson's episode! Rate & Review the No Guilt Mom Podcast on Apple here. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Listen on Spotify? You can rate us there too! Read the transcripts here Check out our favorite deals from our sponsors here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode of How to Talk to Kids about Anything focuses on effective communication tools that parents can use to best reach their children as they enter middle school and the teen years. How do we engage in respectful and effective dialogue, give constructive feedback, problem-solve and provide boundaries and still navigate the complex terrain of teenhood? Dr. Robyn Silverman interviews William Stixrud and Ned Johnson in this lively and fascinating exchange. The post How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance & a Happy Home with Dr. William Stixrud & Ned Johnson – ReRelease appeared first on Dr Drobyn Silverman.
School Psyched Podcast – School Psyched Specialist with Ned Johnson Ned Johnson is an author, speaker, and the founder of PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring, educational planning and standardized test prep. A professional “tutor-geek” since 1993, Ned has spent nearly 50,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests and honing… Continue reading Ned Johnson – School Psyched Podcast – School Psyched Specialist with Ned Johnson
Ravi sits down with William Stixrud, PhD and Ned Johnson to discuss lessons learned from their book The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives. Listen in for William and Ned's insights about stepping back as parents to let your children navigate the world with confidence and find their own path.
In this excerpt of a class about homework with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven Child, Susan explores the anxiety parents often feel around their kids' unwillingness to take their school work seriously. https://susanstiffelman.com/stixrud-johnson-podcast-2/
Special guest: Dr. William Stixrud. Are we raising an anxious generation? Many would agree that we are. The causes of the uptick in anxiety among children has started to be discussed—even within our podcast- we have talked with Jessica Lahey and our obsession with grades and our focus on avoiding failure at all costs. We have talked with Julie Lythcott Haims about the bubble-wrapping of our children that leaves them unprepared for a life that we deliver them to at the age of 18—a life in which they don't have the skills, yes, but also where they don't have the resilience or the confidence to take it on. In The Self-Driven Child, authors William Stixrud and Ned Johnson continue this conversation—focusing specifically on the ways that children today are being denied a sense of controlling their own lives—doing what they find meaningful, and succeeding or failing on their own, and on their own terms. While screen time and technology certainly are part of the problem, the real issues lie with us—the parents and the teachers—who have their hearts in the right place but are nevertheless, taking the opportunities away from children that would allow them to grow stronger, more confident, more autonomous, more competent-- and more themselves. William R. Stixrud, Ph.D., is a clinical neuropsychologist, frequent lecturer, presenter, author and founder of The Stixrud Group. He is a member of the teaching faculty at Children's National Medical Center and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Additionally, Dr. Stixrud is the author, with Ned Johnson, of the nationally bestselling book, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. You will also see him featured for his expertise in publications such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Times of London, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News and World Report, Time Magazine, Scientific American, Business Week, Barron's, and, New York Magazine. And—fun fact- Dr. Stixrud also happens to be a musician who plays in a band! The post How to Talk to Kids about Being Self-Driven, Self-Motivated & Self-Controlled with Dr. William Stixrud – ReRelease appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.
Parents want to keep their kids safe, healthy, happy and motivated but sometimes it's hard to know what to say to achieve those goals. Conversation between parents and kids can be difficult at times, if not impossible. That's why we're excited to welcome neuropsychologist William Stixrud and test prep expert Ned Johnson to the show. They are the authors of the bestselling book, "The Self-Driven Child". Their latest book is called, "What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home". Their website is prepmatters.com. Our sponsor, Green Chef, is a CCOF-certified meal kit company that makes eating well easy with plans to fit every lifestyle. Whether you're Keto, Paleo, Vegan, Vegetarian, Gluten-Free, or just looking to eat more balanced meals, Green Chef offers a range of recipes to suit your preferences. And Green Chef has expanded its menu! Now choose from more than 30 recipes weekly, with the option to mix and match meals from different dietary preferences in the same box, without changing your plan. For example, you can order Vegan one day and Keto the next. Try Fast and Fit recipes under 750 calories and ready in less than 10 minutes! Cut down on meal prep with pre-portioned and prepped ingredients, including pre-measured sauces, spices and dressings. Go to GreenChef.com/nobody60 and use code nobody60 to get 60% off plus free shipping!
Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn't feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we're looking for. In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhy Chris believes the middle school years are magicalWhat the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through themWhat individuation is and how to navigate it with your childrenAdvice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child's developmentHow to navigate a child breaking our trustWhat companioning is and how to do that for our kids Resources mentionedChris Balme's websiteFinding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris BalmeChris's Growing Wiser newsletter (Substack)Not Much, Just Chillin': The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers by Linda PerlsteinMaria Montessori Anders Ronnau on How He's Transforming ADHD (Tilt Parenting podcast)Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud on How to Motivate Kids and Build Their Stress Tolerance (Tilt Parenting podcast) The Self-Driven Child with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (Tilt Parenting podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram