Welcome to Crack Talk, a listener-focused podcast devoted to looking at life's seemingly little issues that tend to wreak so much havoc on our daily lives. We look at topics such as relationships, leadership, anxiety, mindfulness, empathy, religion, conversation, and anything else that fits within t…
The key to managing all of our expectations (of the president, of our spouse, of our boss, etc.) is understanding the reality and accuracy OF our expectations. We cannot expect to have a Hallmark marriage or a textbook boss if it is impossible for those people to actually function in those contexts. Meaning, if our expectation of a spouse cannot be realistically achieved, guess what? We're going to bounce from relationship to relationship. The same is true of employers. If we have an unrealistic expectation, we are going to bounce from job to job. Don't be a Hobbes in wishing for something unattainable. Be Calvin and go for what you can get.
Really, where is the love in today's world? We're not talking about the kind of empty pleading like 'can't we all just get along', but more about genuine compassion and empathy needed to truly make this world a better place. From the 'wall' and the government shutdown, to the tripe that is Facebook, do we really CARE about our fellow humans or are we pressing our own agenda? Today, Jack helps us to figure that out.
We hope you have a wonderful time with friends and family and take time to brighten someone's day. May you have a blessed holiday.
Taking a small divergence from the usual mind things, Jack gives some great sports commentary flying around the pros and college. And to top it all off, he helps us to understand the link between leadership in sports and our favorite word, say it with us...being HEROIC!
'Tis the season to be nice to one another. Really we should be nice to everyone all the time, but just like eating an elephant one bite at a time, be nice to one person for just one day and see what kind of a difference that makes. We all want people to be nice to us, but are we taking time to be nice to others? Not much more we can say here. Have fun with it and see who you can make smile!
Taking the time to objectively and sincerely reflect through our life experiences is one of the greatest actions we can take when we truly desire personal growth. Much like ripping off a Band-Aid, asking the tough questions about our failures can be very painful. It takes fortitude, confidence, self-esteem, and most importantly, a desire to change. Change is not bad. It is uncertain. It is scary. But, it is inevitable. If we learn how to manage our emotions and take what we can from each experience, we can better utilize our superpowers and defeat the bad guys (depression, despair, anger, and resentment) once and for all. However, just like in the movies, we can never eradicate them, so we best make every effort to grow as strong as we can. Frohe Weihnachten!
How do we coach others to become their best? How much responsibility lies with the coach and how much lies with the player? It can be argued where the differences are and that argument is for another day, but it is important to understand the influence and impact that coaches, leaders, managers, supervisors, etc., etc., etc. When that influence (and RESPONSIBILITY, hint, hint, HEROIC) is understood, respected, and appreciated, the impact we can have on others, ourselves, and our peers can be tremendous. Get yer gridirons on, it's time to get crackin!
We like to throw the phrase around, 'forgive and forget' but do we really? Is it even possible? We think what is really being said is, 'don't bring it back up until you can use it against the person or situation that caused it,' right? Well, as you've heard us say over and over, it is all about the journey. Our lives are the culmination of all every wrong-doing, back-stabbing, double-crossing, two-faced, blessing, and favor we ever encounter. Rather than ruminate on them (as Jack likes to say), LEARN from them. Take the time to think through the experience and figure out what you missed the first time. What can you do to add to your journey rather than detract from it? This world only goes 'round once. Make the best of it!
What is your answer if someone asks you, 'What makes you different?' Do you give the business answer and rattle off your accomplishments and accolades? Do you give the self-serving answer and talk about all of your 'charitable' giving? What if the answer lies in the sum of all these experiences? This really is a powerful question and one that bears much introspection. Spend time thinking about what makes 'you' YOU. YOU might just be surprised at what you find. Also, let us know what your favorite Thanksgiving dish is!
Today, Jack takes us through the most important life lessons as he delves into what makes the world go round. In a throwback to our inaugural episode, Jack helps dispel some of the mystery that surrounds anxiety and argument at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Why are they such stressful times? It is just dinner!? It is the same thing we do EVERY SINGLE day! You would think this would be fairly simple to figure out, but there is more to this special time of year than a bowl full of cranberry sauce and platters of dry cheese. Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!
Today we talk about the MASSIVE amount of money Mark Zuckerberg lost in this last year ($20 BILLION!!!), but we actually have a point with this. Mostly in his response to his employees, we see his true leadership come out and how it is so recognizable in so many leaders. What we do see are 'anti-qualities.' By this, we mean we see these qualities that appear to be important, necessary, and fundamental to great leaders, but the truth is they detract from the true purpose of leadership, which is to improve the lives of those you lead to THEIR betterment. It is very important that we make these distinctions as we interact with those around us and seek to leverage the influence we are given.
Why do managers, supervisors, executives, moms, dads, and coaches all seem to command attention more than siblings, co-workers, and teammates? It's because of that little title behind their name. Does that make them better human beings? Not in the least. What about the fact that your CEO probably gave more money away in a month than you made in a year? Does that make her/him better? Absolutely not! It all comes down to the human capital we interact with. Do you realize that by investing your time, energy, knowledge, skill, etc., etc. into another person, you WILL become infinitely more valuable than any dirtbag CEO (and I mean CEOs who are truly dirtbags, not CEOs in general)? Think about what makes you truly valuable to someone else? What can YOU do to make others feel that same way? Come on in and see how this shakes out.
How does #embracethesuck and #embracetheadventure connect? Listen up coconuts, as Dr. Seuss would say, “Oh, the places you’ll go” with the help of someone else and not alone. What if connecting with others meant that his or her success was dependent on our investing in them? What would that look like if we all believed that it did it? We plan for tomorrow but live today to create our masterpiece. Is our masterpiece for fame and fortune or something much bigger?
As we move through HEROIC, we encounter Openness next on our journey. Openness is what guides us to new experiences and provides the means to learn. As Maddy and I discuss the heated topic of the qualification marching band as a sport, we weave HEROIC throughout to show ample opportunity for growth and learning. When we learn to see ourselves and our interactions through these six behavioral aptitudes, we begin to notice not only their connectivity, but their absolutely fundamental hold on positive and effective personal growth. It demonstrates so well how we can become generative in our human-to-human influence. We want to know your thoughts though, get on facebook and let us know if you think marching is or is not a sport.
Being fake (or superficial as we like to say) isn't always as simple as it seems. We have the potential (and most likely are) to be fake on a daily basis. When we justify our behaviors with illogical reasoning (i.e. 'I'm the best', 'You're stupid', 'Because I want it', etc., etc., etc.) we can probably be sure superficiality has set in, right? How do we combat this? Well, take a wild guess...HEROIC, right? We counter superficiality with Responsibility. This means rather than seeing an interaction as something for personal gain, how can we view it as gain for the other person? How can we get a fakie frontside 180 on the other person (that means, how can we get them to go a different direction for their enjoyment and betterment)? This is where Responsibility trumps superficiality every time. Make sense? Well, sit back and settle in on this one and we'll explain it.
Just when you thought Halloween was over, Jack shows us how we might be living out every day behaviors as if it were Halloween. It is election day so responsibility is right in the middle of the maelstrom. Being responsible has so many different facets that we could spend the rest of the year just talking about them, but it is important to understand its basic, fundamental meaning and application. Being responsible has humility right there at its core, but also empathy. See what we did there? It's pretty easy once you get it rolling, so whether you are in your car, at the office, or at home, grab your juice box filled with your favorite drink and get your notebooks ready. Jack and I will be unpacking Responsibility and Superficiality from our HEROIC model this week and how they apply to our every day lives.
When did we become so oversensitive to every little thing? I am probably upsetting someone by saying they are oversensitive. It is almost like there is a massive vacuum of self-esteem (or explosion of greed, take your pick) in this country. All we want to do is complain about not being given enough and at the same complain that we were somehow offended in the process! Much like the debate surrounding Georgia governor nominee, Stacey Abrams, who claims she supports the 2nd Amendment and gun control at the same time. What!? Well...I actually agree with her. Get in the game, we got some thinkin' to do!
It’s Halloween coconuts and I hope y'all have a safe evening trick or treating with you kids. Be sure to grab an umbrella because it is supposed to be rainy, but what is Halloween without 40 mph winds and rain - the ghouls and witches love it. Jack’s Halloween special opens up with some controversy surrounding WIBC’s Tony Katz, and then takes off on a broom to Bristol, England. You just can’t make up stories like these on today’s podcast but then again it is Halloween - a time for strange occurrences and Jack is keeping it really weird.
All too often we like to throw around the phrase, 'walk a mile in their shoes' but do we ever stop to realize what a powerful and challenging statement it is. We think it, much like 'empathy' and 'leadership' has been used so much it has lost its effect. Daniel Pink said it perfectly (as we've been telling you!), 'Empathy is about standing in someone else's shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes.' That cannot be overstated enough. We have to assume the other person's very essence if we want to truly empathize with them. Take time today to truly understand what the other person has gone through and is going through if you truly want to help. That's what makes this ol' world go round, you know?
Coming to you (kinda live) from the Garden State of New Jersey, today's episode is keepin' it real for the coconuts. Not really, but you try writing show notes for 70 episodes and we'll see how original YOU are! See what we did there? We just made you feel attacked and slightly belittled. See what else we did there? Put feelings into your head unnecessarily. One more thing: DON'T THINK ABOUT A PINK POLAR BEAR SITTING ON A BABY GRAND PIANO. You're welcome. What this is all about is the way culture loads our conversation and more importantly, what we take from it (inferences, and that's a bad word around here). Oh well, it will be more fun (or is it funner??) when we're all up to our eyes in jello pudding pops (you're welcome again).
To build on the last podcast of Empathy and Introspection and to drive home how openness and vulnerability enhanced a family vacation to The Big Apple, we are going to journey forth on the practicality and importance of openness and introspection. If you have never read the book or seen the movie, 'Ferdinand the Bull', then you are missing out! You might be surprised how this beloved children's story relates to adult life and what we've been talking about this whole with HEROIC.
Our good friends over at GetVokl invited us to participate in using their platform for our weekly podcast so today's episode is the audio from that broadcast. Join each Sunday night at 7:00pm (EST) where we will be live on GetVokl to get your thoughts and opinions as we work through HEROIC and its new counterpart: DISMAL.
After a little vacay with the fam to New York, I noticed a few things about myself that I wanted to share with you lovely coconuts. Do you consider yourself 'open' to new ideas? Do you think you are 'open' to new experiences? Are you 'open' to the idea that you don't (and never will) have all of the answers? How does that make you feel? Well, for me, I am not a big fan of it, but I will tell you one thing: It is better to have loved...oh wait, wrong cliche; it is better to be on the other side looking back than the safe side wishing it would happen. You know what I mean. I mean isn't it better to take the chance and say you tried than to live in regert (yes, I said regert) and hate yourself for it? That's right. I knew you guys were smart. Smart little coconuts. Pull up a chair, or a truck. Join us for a wonderful Friday edition of Crack Talk.
Crack Talk goes where others fear to tread. It’s pandemonium, our lovely coconuts and today’s podcast is packed full of straight nuttiness. Leading the way, Jack reads from the book of Genesis. But hang on to your seats because we aren’t going religious on you, we are just meandering down the road to how the Philadelphia Eagles might be able to improve their losing season. The craziness doesn’t stop there. Next up, Jack is asking for listener opinion on women’s right to wear whatever they want in public places. To clarify, is it ok for women to wear skimpy clothing in public? We are looking for YOUR opinion! Is it ok for women to wear clothing that is revealing the majority of her body? Is it okay for a man? Where does one standard start and the other stop? So much to say, and so little time to do it. Jump in and let's get crackin!
Not much to say in this one. We're not gonna get deep at all, we're just gonna have some fun. We want you to play along. If you can beat Jack in a good ol' fashioned game of trivia (please play honorably), we'll send you your very own Crack Talk Juice Box! You just need to tweet out your scores (and opinions) or share it on our Facebook page (https://cracktalk.us for all the links). Let's do this thing!
This HEROIC thing is certainly taking on a life of its own. It just gets deeper and deeper the more we look at it. We have discovered how all the pieces intersect and enhance one another. We have found how they all exist in and because of social connections. More importantly, we recently noticed that each of the six components have a much-needed, and anxiety-producing component of VULNERABILITY. That word just conjures up so much ickiness in our lives, doesn't it? Makes us envision big, burly dudes sittin' around a campfire huggin' and cryin' or something, but that isn't it at all. BUT...it is kind of the same thing, so just be careful in how you use it, right? Got a lot of great news in this episode so what are you waiting for? Get goin!
We DESIRE to be with other people. You may think you are an introvert, or a homebody, or even 'anti-social', but the truth is, we do have a fundamental NEED to interact with others. We thrive on it. We grow from it. We learn by it. Why else do you think Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, and the rest of the social media gamut are so popular? Because we CRAVE it. This isn't a failure on our society or within our culture; it is part of our neurological, psychological, physiological, and spiritual makeup. We are hard-wired to be involved with others, despite how much you may think you dislike others. Sure, there are many different people who are jack-wangs and plenty others who make it really difficult to believe we did NOT come from protozoic amoeba, but when push comes to shove, there is undoubtedly at least some ONE in your life who you enjoy being around. Guess what? That's social need right there. Do not shun social interaction and the benefit we gain from it because of a select few mouth-breathers. Get out and enjoy life and humanity. Be a gud hooman. Oh yeah, GET A FREAKIN JUICE BOX, WILL YA!? Just give us a shout of Facebook or Twitter with the hashtag #IWANTMYJUICEBOX and we will hook you up!
It's like all these topics seem to regurgitate one another! Or, does it mean they are more connected than we realize? We believe it is the latter. There is no simple path through life, no easy one-liner from Facebook, no perfect human being that can truly understand or demonstrate the best way to 'be'. What we're talking about here is the age old problem of letting our biases, preconceptions, and misconceptions dictate our behaviors, and subsequently our interactions with others. Our selfish emotions are always at war with our better-knowing-self in trying to create self-promoting and survival behaviors because when it gets down to it, you gotta look out for number one, right? WRONG! We need to be more Humber, Empathetic, Responsible, Open, Introspective, and Collaborative (where have we heard this before? That's right! Be HEROIC!). Strap in for a long one, we get a little cray-cray on this one.
Fundamental attribution error is something you've heard us talk about many times, but we've never really dug into it. Tonight, in the second of a two-part Jack solo, we learn more about how it functions, how it impacts us, and how we can better deal with it when we are faced with it. There really isn't any beneficial purpose in contributing or engaging in fundamental attribution (which, if you haven't joined us, means you attribute certain qualities to a person based off of certain behaviors; someone cuts you off in traffic, you assume they are a jerk, as opposed to realizing they may have an emergency). This type of cognitive reaction can only be negative. It serves no constructive or beneficial purpose, but it is something each and everyone of us deal with so if we can learn to recognize it when it happens, we can stop it before it causes harm. Make sense? Okay coconuts, shout us out on Twitter or Facebook and get your Crack Talk Juice Box today!
Well this is one for the books! Jack keeps us entertained today with his thoughts and opinions on the current state of our society and the need to be more open with our feelings. We don't mean, let's all share our feelings and hug, or something. What we mean, is start doing something about things that drives your passion. Take our beloved friend, Honest Abe. He grew up in Kentucky and was exposed first-hand to the impact slavery had on local economies, but it wasn't until he saw slaves being traded 'like animals' in New Orleans that the fire within him was kindled and eventually led to the nation we have today. There is so much to understand about Lincoln and his drives to go into here, but understanding there is a difference between complaining about a problem and advocating for a solution. Lotta crap going on and it's time to become active and passionate in actually creating a solution. Buckle up for what will be sure an enthralling conversation!
As Murray Goldberg likes to say, 'No telephone! No Atari! No robits!' Today, we're talking about artificial intelligence but not as they relate to robits and machines, but more about the artificial intelligence we ascribe to other people. If we spent more time understanding ourselves than we did idolizing superficial acts of others, it is highly probable we would feel a lot better about our current states and real progress towards our hopes and dreams. This is exactly what set Abraham Lincoln apart and makes him such easy subject matter for leadership topics. However, when we don't stop and consider all that Honest Abe had to contend with, we miss everything about what he achieved and wrongly attribute great 'leadership' where it shouldn't be attributed. Also, first three people to comment on our Facebook page or send us a tweet, gets a free Crack Talk Juice Box!
Today, Jack tackles the issues of sex and gender and how our society and our biology conflict with one another. He will break down how we tend to create norms (i.e. stereotypes in this particular case) that cause many of the problems we see today. He will help us to see past these 'norms' and understand the person underneath. This serves a nice little break from all our leadership talk, so just sit tight for a few more days and we will be back on that hayride! As Jack says, nothing better than enjoying this gorgeous fall weather than enjoying some fresh coffee in a Crack Talk juice box. Head over to our website and click the link to order yours today! https://cracktalk.us
Be HEROIC. There is so muched packed into such a little word. Of course, being an acronym it is obviously loaded, but think about that word 'heroic' for a moment. Does it instill a sense of awe and amazement? Does it make you think of Superman, Batman, and Captain Marvel? What if we told you that deep inside each and everyone of us, beats the heart of a hero? We are not saying to run into burning buildings, dodge bullets, or eat veggie burgers, but we are saying that the potential to make a difference in someone's life is easily within our grasp. That is what it means to be HEROIC. You can distill any leadership/self-help theory or mantra into any acronym you like (it just so happens, 'HEROIC' is ours...LOL), but they all come out the same. We try to find that thing inside us that gives us the joy in life we all search for and we would almost guarantee interaction with another person is embedded somewhere within your definiton and desire.
So what attribute would you define as being found in a good leader? There are many, and we don't want to poison the well, but seriously, take a few minutes and think about those qualities or traits you see in leaders you deem 'good.' Any by 'good' we really mean effective. Good implies morality, and as we discussed in the last episode, morality does not necessarily correlate with leadership. In this episode, we stumble onto a million-dollar idea and one that will probably lead to many more episodes (well, at least 6). Join us as we discuss more about this thing called leadership and a new way to make it part of your daily life, so you too can be the leader you've always dreamed of. Not really, but it is a fun topic and one that we feel bears more discussion. Let us know your thoughts and opinions. Follow us Facebook, Twitter, and your favorite podcast app. Get a link to all of this and more at our website: https://cracktalk.us!
In all this talk about leadership, we have overlooked one key figure in our history who may have a significant contribution, at least from a standpoint of who we acknowledge as effective leaders. Yes, we're talking about Adolf Hitler and whether or not he was an effective leader. Notice we didn't say 'good' or 'bad' because those mean and imply morals, which Hitler was without (at least from our perpsective; he did in fact believe he was acting morally in line with HIS standard of morality). But, the questions remains, was Hitler an EFFECTIVE leader? Effective simply means, was he successful in achieving his desired result? Eradicating Jewish people and becoming a world dictator, no, but was he able to unite a group of people to common cause or goal, absolutely. If we look at that aspect alone, how was hitler any different from Lincoln in uniting a group of people towards a common goal (namely, abolishing slavery)? Again, set morals aside, because at the human level, morality may not have a place in DEFINING leadership. If we want to label it 'good' or 'bad', then okay. but if we're talking basic, fundamental definitonis, Hitler may be a prime example. What do you think? Let us know!
Well, life has hit and Jack is out this episode as he spends time focusing on school and work (and school-work), so Tobey will keep the conversation going. We do wish safe travels and hunkering down(??) to all of our east coast friends in light of the hurricane. In this episode, Tobey will dive into some issues with using Lincoln, and many others, who are often referred to as 'great' leaders we should emulate or something. The problem is, we are not THEM, in THEIR time, going through THEIR trials, suffering THEIR problems. Leadership, like many other things, is NON-TRANSFERRABLE. What this means is, leadership is 'episodic' and DEPENDENT on the time, place, and those involved and only in THAT environment will leadership blossom, IF IT IS TO BLOSSOM AT ALL. Make sense? Well, it may not, but that's our story and we're stickin' to it! There is much to the study of this thing called 'leadership', and much like Facebook and its terrible news feed algorithm, the acadmeic community of leadership is definitely pushing its own intentions on what IT thinks YOU want. Peace out 'ombres!
Abraham Lincoln, along with many others, was a great leader. But by what definition? Was he great because of himself, or because of society? Did he make himself great or was greatness thrust upon him? Today we look at the ever-increasing phenomenon of 'superficial aggregation,' or mkaing something out of nothing. What we mean is, Abraham Lincoln is often cast as one of the great leaders in human history. Scores of books, articles, societies, and the like have tried to push the agenda of his greatness based solely on the national stage in which he found himself. And, based on the results, he is labeled a 'great leader.' We're not saying he wasn't, quite the contrary, but his greatness as a leader was due more to the mental struggles he faced rather than anything noble and innate to his being. Our point: if you aren't living in 19th-century America and suffering from sever depression (amongst a plethora of many other issues), trying to discern leaderhsip qualities from Lincoln is like trying to squeeze blood from the proverbial turnip. Happy Squeezing!
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (commonly seen as 'MBTI') is one of the greatest scams of our generation. Built on the work of Carl Jung, the mother-daughter pair of Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers in an effort to simpliply and COMPARTMENTALIZE (EEK!!!) people. Despite their best intentions, that is the inevitable pitfall of this test. Not to mention it is not consistent (reliable, in psycho-speak), let alone misleading. We spend today's episode debunking this popular tool (especially amongst) organizations and shed light on what it really is: A glorified Facebook quiz that is one step better than your IQ being determined by how many backwards words you can read... #puke. And by the way, it is pronounced 'Ni-key'. ;)
How often do you question the 'brilliance' behind 'great leaders'? How many 'quotes' can we use in a single 'show'? Is it possible these 'great leaders' are more a (by)product of time and place (i.e. culture and environment) rather than of inherent skill or ability? We've always said those 'leaders' who found themselves in those positions obviously knew what to do in thsoe situations, but the truth is, had anyone taken Bill Gates' place at that fateful meeting with IBM execs, would Microsoft be what it is today? Some say 'no', we say 'eh..maybe.' Join us today as we look at a different (and albeit somewhat cynical) view of leadership that we believe is getting overlooked more and more with each new book that is written.
Leadership is such a vast area of learning with much left to study, and we are only scratching the surface. There are so many misconceptions and false perceptions about what leadership is, what makes leaders great, and most importantly, how to achieve. Books number in the tens of thousands on how to be a 'great' leader and the truth of it is, it may be one of those topics that can never be fully qualified. MANY theories exist trying to quantify and qualify leadership; Thousands upon thousands of surveys, seminars, presentations, and paradigms exist to explain it and define it, yet all fall short and take so many great people down with them. Anywho, join us for another rousing romp through the netherworld of the human psyche as we dig into more discussion!
First it was guns. Then it was 'regert.' Now, it's A First-Rate Madness. Sometimes we just land on a topic that is so good, it bears repeating many times in many episodes. For our season opener, we wanted to spend some time giving you an idea of what to expect in season 5, but instead we seemed to have veered somewhat in movie discussion, social challenges, and of course, A First-Rate Madness. There is so much awesome packed into that book, that it is hard to stop talking about. Howver, we do use its premise to launch into what we will be covering (in part) this season, namely, understanding the environment in which we find ourselves so as to make more accurate reflections and assessments regarding the leadership styles and expectations of ourselves, and those we may follow. This is gonna be a great next couple of weeks, so get your thinking caps on! It's time to get a little nuts.
We wanted to say a few final things on Dr. Covey's 7 Habits that we didn't get to on the last episode, and of course, we had to talk about A First-Rate Madness a little more. We have some great topics in mind for season 5 and speaking of season 5, we are so very thankful for each and every one of you who listen and have stuck with us either from the beginning of the podcast, or even the beginning of the week. We are having a ton of fun with this and hope you are too. We are anxious to hear your thoughts and feedback so hit us up on Twitter (@cracktalkus) and Facebook (cracktalk.us) or when in doubt, the website has it all! (https://cracktalk.us). Season 5 is gonna be off the hook! (as the kids used to say)
As per the usual, we veered a little on this one. So you may have heard us discuss 'A First-Rate Madness' by Dr. Nassir Ghaemi on the last episode, and since Jack went out and bought it, we just HAD to discuss it this episode. Don't worry, we still cover Dr. Covey's seventh habit, 'Sharpen The Saw' and all its chewy goodness, however, we did have to talk about Dr. Ghaemi's book for a but because it is just that darn good! There is much crossover between the two, believe it or not, and there is a lot of crossover with those two books and all of our podcast episodes, believe it or not. Is it extraordinary or expected though? You may have heard the ol' management adage, 'What gets measured, gets done.' In a very similar fashion with psychology, 'What gets studied, gets diagnosed,' so it does beg the question, do all of the topics really correlate and corraborate or do the topics themselves manifest in these books? Chicken or the egg, elephant or the horse? You decide.
Well, despite our rant regarding Dr. Covey's reference to Sir Winston Churchill somehow being relevant to the topic of synergy (spoiler alert...it isn't), the point of synergy is WORKING TOGETHER. It naturally feeds off of habits 4 and 5, 'Think Win-Win' and 'Seek First to Understand', synergey is about putting the plans and ideas created in those two habits into action. It is not just collaboration, although it kind of is, syngery is about mutually beneficial goals, almost dependent (where collaboration could have independent goals, even though all parties got what they wanted): A campaign manager and a nominee working towards the the election is synergy; Coke and Pepsi agreeing to put soda machines next to each other is collaboration. There is much to be said on this topic as we close in on the end, so get settled in, we get a little fired up in this one!
Habit #5 seeks to have us look past our own mis- (or pre-) conceptions and engage our empathic system to better ascertain and appropriate what the underlying reasons are for a person's behavior. Catch that? Basically, our erudite vernacular is simply saying it is better to listen first, respond second. We take further issue with Dr. Covey's application of a registered trademark to common English phrases for the sake of marketing and profit, but he is writing a book after all. That aside, we do agree with the fact that when in conversation or conflict, we should try to understand the other person's point-of-view and realize there is usually more than one way to skin a cat, right? This kinda falls back on 'Think Win-Win' in that we should be empathetic (as we should in practially all of the habits...) because by doing so, we should the other person we genuinely care about them and their opinions, even if we disagree. Give a shot and let us know how it works for you!
We can sum up habit number 4 in one word: empathy. That's right. It's all about truly understanding the other person to really be able to come to a mutual and mutually beneficial resolution because let's be honest, no one likes conflict and to lose a 'conflict situation' feels like we lose part of our stake in life, right? We have to learn to let go of our deisres to best the other person, or get to the front of the line, or have the highest grossing podcast on the planet. Let's take a look at how we can help others and in doing so, we will find that we have helped our own purposes much more than anything else we could have done. Yes, there are those who seem to succeed (or get away with) everything they do, but they are the exceptions, not the rules. Be rulers (as in, measurement tools) people! Peace out coconuts.
This episode, we focus on habit number 3, which despite Dr. Covey's insistance it is about imagination, it is really about prioritization (per him). Anyway, the idea is really about focusing on what matters and eliminating what doesn't. We certianly agree with this idea and they are words to live by, but hte interesting thing about weeding out the non-important things is, if all of your non-priority things have been removed, then what is left to prioritize?? We discuss this interesting aspect and much more on this episode, so be sure to join us as we make our way through. Also, be sure to tune in next episode as we drop the bomb on a nifty new feature of the podcast that is sure to get you on the edge of your seat, or at the very least, get you thinking a little more. Stick around coconuts, it only gets better!
Dr. Stephen Covey's second habit of seven tells us to 'begin with the end in mind'. We do like the idea behind it, basically saying have an idea of where you're going. Well, what happens when you don't know where you are going? We all have times where we feel compelled to do something bigger, better, grander, whatever, but we may not know what that is. It isn't as simple as Dr. Covey states in having clarity or vision. Sometimes, the end is all about the journey. We need to take time to understand what we are going through and how it impacts our lives. Sometimes we need to be told 'You're not The One' (The Matrix) to find out what being 'The One' really means to us (and not someone else). It is about making our own luck or creating our own destination, but do not forsake the journey in getting there. It isn't about arriving. Take the time to stop and smell the roses and listen to the clock ticking in the other room. Of course, if you are one of the lucky ones that knows exactly what it is you want to do with your life, bully for you! Now go help someone else find their passion. Buckle up coconuts, this one gets deep!
Well, we had a small technical difficulty with Jack's microphone, i.e. the cable is bad and we dont' have a replacement. We know, we should have extras, but we don't so we're stuck. We are going to pick back up on Thursday due to travel committments, so stay tuned and we'll talk to you then!
There is much to be said for Dr. Stephen Covey's book, 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.' This episode marks the first of seven (see what we did there?) where we look at each habit and dissect it a little bit. We don't disagree with Dr. Covey's thoughts and ideas, we just believe they need to be unpacked a little and made a little less 'drive-thru.' What do you think when you hear the term 'proactive?' Does it conjur up images of fortune-telling and telepathic clairvoyance? Probably not, but we would bet dollars to ducks that you think being 'proactive' is an admirable trait. Well, if you think about it for a few seconds, you should come to the same conclusion we did, which is 'being proactive' is really just 'reacting' to something, right? You can't truly be proactive. We hear you screaming though, you're saying, 'Being proactive means no one is telling you to do something,' and we absolutely agree. However, why don't we just say, 'Be active, not lazy!' Because it isn't pithy enough to put on a bumper sticker. So, be ACTIVE and fire up your podcast app and get listening!
We know you are sad that we are done and moving on from regert, but every good thing must come to an end. And to that end, we are gonna shift our focus a little bit onto the topic of habits. Specifically, we're gonna dig into Stephen Covey's 7 Habits and see if we can unpack them a little more and expose some their soft under-bellies. Not that we think they're wrong, far from it. We just believe there may be more to them than the nice little package they are so neatly wrapped up in. We're going to start by just talking 'bout habits (not love): how they're formed, why they're hard to change, and what we can do to change them (if they even need changing!). There is much to be said for the power of our brains and it isn't about being lazy, as much as it is about understanding what is going on and what may be getting in our way. This should be a fun ride for sure. Hit us up on Twitter and let us know what you're thinking!