Let Perfect Burn

Teddy Frank is a Licensed Master Social Worker, a Reichian Psychotherapist with a love for leadership facilitation and coaching in the corporate arena. Teddy works locally with scientists from Colorado State University that are looking at diversity, equity, justice, and inclusion within academia. Teddy works with collective trauma healing and ancestral healing, including her own, on what she names “The Hera's Journey.” Throughout the recording of her Let Perfect Burn episode, I kept thinking, “She does THAT too?” Teddy's passions are boundless, her convictions pure and fiery and her quest to understand and intuit humanity is unlike any other person's I have experienced in my lifetime. Teddy grew up in a tumultuous and violent family where there was sexual abuse. But for Teddy, her homelife didn't sink her, it activated her. “My awakening was at the age of 19 with the women's movement. I mean, the feminist movement was in full swing. And I became a leader of grassroots community organizing, leading the whole on sexual crimes against women.”Teddy is a healer by nature and so she couldn't pass up the opportunity for us to be in dialogue together for this episode, creating a safe and grounded place for me to take a step toward. “I'm different than you, Tara, but you are also in me, and I am also in you.” We spoke about being a woman and a mother and that in society, staying good and staying quiet often leads to a wider acceptance. Daring to express pain and speaking truth to trauma rocks the boat, but it is an act that Teddy describes as ‘an awakening' which is born out of “feeling the pain of not conforming, of questioning worth and value.” And what was so moving was that after speaking with Teddy, I started to realize that my ‘falling apart' was something so universal to being human and that my strength to buck the norm of the ‘perfect woman' was dare I say it, heroic. By the end of Teddy's beautiful interview, I started using different words to speak to my mental health crisis, my hospitalization and my falling apart. “I am on the Hera's journey, and I have had an awakening that has irrevocably changed my life.”Highlights from Teddy:"I remember five years old, my mother was very depressed. And I was sitting at the kitchen table across from her, and she was looking off to the side. And I looked directly at her and I said, 'Mommy, are you mad at me?' And she brought her gaze back, and she said, now finally resting in my eyes, 'No, honey, why would you think that?' And I said, 'I can't see myself in your eyes.' And in that moment, my five year old wisdom self said, 'My mom is not available to me.' And that's when we start to say, 'Okay, I need to take care of myself.'""So in a moment, our nervous systems get wired for survival and says, 'It's not okay to express my needs.' And so we develop these patterns that become the cracks in our psyche, the shadows in our soul. And that's what we then ride upon as nice girls, or as high performers in the world. Or, as you know, the sort of conforming to the female notion, which changes culturally but by Western dominant male standard says, 'You don't express your needs too strongly, because then you're aggressive. She's aggressive, she's angry.'"Don't Miss a Beat. My Website, Let Perfect Burn:https://letperfectburn.com/Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Connect With Teddy Frank:Her Website:https://www.humanenergetics.com/Her LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/teddyfrank/

Comedian Antonia Lassar self-identifies as 60% Jewish, 30% Chronic Illness and 10% Bisexual chaos and recently their standup addressed embracing the term disabled. “Prior to this, I was like, ‘Yes, I'm exhausted all the time. Yes, when I lie down, I choke on my own stomach acid. Yes, I don't poop.' But that's not because I'm sick. I was like, ‘That's because I am morally inferior.'”During this set, Antonia's crowd laughed, but Antonia shines in their ability to take truth and push the envelope one more time. “And I know that you might hear all those symptoms and be like, ‘Obviously that's an illness and not moral decay' but you are seriously understanding my Jewish capacity for self-blame. Okay, I'm like, ‘What about my diet and lifestyle caused the Holocaust?'”Before coming to LA to focus on their career as a comedian, Antonia toured college campuses addressing sexual assault with their work, Post Traumatic Super Delightful. Antonia is a victim of sexual assault and in their work they utilize comedy to challenge the expectations of the perfect survivor. “Trustworthiness is big. They need to have the education level that we believe that they are trustworthy enough to actually speak accurately about their experience. And a lot of my work really dives into this critique of our expectations of the perfect survivor.”In their interview, Antonia takes us through the challenging, and sometimes devastating, path to create art after falling apart. “Suddenly, my body totally broke down and it was, to me, a message from the heavens being like, all right, this has gone on long enough. You're literally killing your body at this point. You need to get your art back together.”Highlights from Antonia:“For some artists and for some people like me who's mental health, when it deteriorates, it manifests as me stopping to produce. But just getting art and writing out of me is a health behavior. It keeps me healthy to keep getting art out of me. Also, physically, like when I'm unhealthy, I can't poop. You know, they feel very tied in my body. It's like, I've got to get my art out. I've got to get my shit out. It's all got to come out.”“So, I mean, it was crazy. It was such an unusual experience to watch your body stop working, you know? And I started getting so malnourished, because I literally wasn't able to eat food over two years, that's how long this took. But I finally got to the point where I felt ready to put my work out into the world. I have been putting a lot of sketches and comedy content out on social media, which to the outside observer, I think just looks like any regular comedian putting sketches on social media. But for me, it's like the tail end of this epic healing journey. And, it's a really important step and it's been really healing just to finally get it out.”“I just moved to LA which is also a big part of this journey. I moved to LA to fully invest in my career as a comedian and it's so exciting and also as soon as I got here, all of my physical and mental health flared up and I immediately felt all the old patterns come back. You know, not wanting to create, not wanting to put myself out there as well as just physically having a hard time. So, it is not linear. All these things are because I took this big next step on the path. It triggered this big kind of backslide. Yeah, it's not like a clean and simple process. It's taking a long time.”Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/And my Website:letperfectburn.comFollow Antonia Here:https://linktr.ee/antonialastar

In honor of National Suicide Prevention Month, I sit down with Liz Sweigart, an Award-Winning Mental Health Advocate, former PwC Partner, Author, Keynote Speaker, Advisor, Coach and Adjunct Professor. Liz understands to her core that the only way to save lives and to improve the lives of those suffering with their mental health is to speak truth without shame. “Until we put our voices together, we're all just individually shouting into the void. But when we come together, that's when I think we galvanize. We give people hope.” Liz walks us through her journey with depression starting as a teenager. “I experienced depression like this heaviness, inertia, and this complete disconnection from the world. It was  like watching somebody else live my life and not having any sense of connection to myself or others.” Incredibly intelligent, Liz masked the severity of her depression as an adult through perfectionism and her ability to put together a high achieving persona. Eventually, Liz couldn't fight her depression anymore. “I felt I was disappointing everybody at home. If I was at home, I was disappointing everybody at work. And no matter where I was, I was a disappointment to myself. And that was when I set the plans in motion to end my life. And I am really fortunate that did not happen. I have a wonderful life partner. My husband was there when I needed him. And somehow, I found enough of the words, and he was able to quickly put together what was going on and so I am here.” Inpatient treatment was incredibly important for Liz to reset her body and mind and to keep her safe. But she is so clear that maintaining her mental health is a journey and that in order to continue on, she had to accept that there were no easy happy endings. That the work would be sitting in moments of discomfort and being able to tolerate them before they became crisis. “I can sit in these moments of discomfort, they will end, I can get through them. And on the other side, I will feel better. And right now, this sucks. It's like, yes, the sun will come out and right now, it is raining. So no, it is not sunny. It is not sunny at the moment. The sun is still going to come out. Two things are true. Like the sun will come out and right now is awful.” Highlights from Liz: “I like to say, I have a beautiful mind and a jerk brain. My mind does beautiful things. And at the same time, my brain has tried to sabotage me more times than I can count.” “I convinced myself that I could like eat, pray love my way out of this. Like I was going to be fine. It would take 12 weeks. All I have to do is get off all of these medications and I'll be fine. So I worked with a therapist and a psychiatrist and I got off all my medications and three weeks later I realized that I wasn't actually getting better. I needed the medication that I needed and that was a crushing blow to me because I felt like I'd failed.” “I can do hard things. I know I can do hard things. I have done hard things before. I can do hard things again.” Don't Miss a Beat.  Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett:  https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/And my Website:https://letperfectburn/  Liz's Website: https://lizsweigart.com/contact

In this episode, I sit down with Emily Krempholtz, a writer, creator, and an all-around amazing human that I have the pleasure of calling my book coach as I write my memoir. In her interview, she takes us through her life going from doing what she thought she should, to now doing what she loves. “I knew that writing books was what I wanted to do for a living. I knew that working with stories was what I wanted to be when I grew up. And even knowing that, it took me a really long time. I let a lot of people talk me into going to college for a major that was a lot more practical than what I wanted to be doing, which was creative writing.”Emily believes in the magic of the world, infusing it into her books and passion projects while also acknowledging the need to pay the bills with her non-fiction work. While her work that pays the bills is compartmentalized in one half of her brain, her creative work is where her heart lies. “And it's hard, you know. You put your book out there to say, “here is a little piece of my soul, I'm giving it to you,” and then to have someone come back and say, “no thanks, this isn't for me.”Inevitably, pieces of Emily's life became woven into her novels and she shares how important it is for writers to give themselves the grace of being a human being. “So suddenly I was writing a book about grief when I was kind of actively grieving and that was really difficult. And so I poured a lot of that emotion into this book and then I also had to put it down for a little while. And that's something I think not enough writers talk about is sometimes, you know, it's okay to set something aside.”Highlights from Emily:“I think we have these points where, in a perfect world, we'd be able to go back and edit our lives and edit the way we did things in the past, but we don't have that. We are slaves to time in the real world in a way that we aren't when we're writing. And being able to take the hindsight, to take the lessons that we learned from that first draft of our lives, and take that breaking point and say, okay.”“There is no one right way to write a book. There's no one right way to do something. There's a lot of different schools of thought about how to create a book, because it is, it's this huge thing. It is multi-dimensional, it is complex, and when done right, you should never be able to just sit down and spit out a book without, and say, okay, this is perfect. This is exactly what I intended it to be.”“Let Perfect Burn means abandoning those shoulds—abandoning that sense of this is what I'm supposed to be doing to get to where I am, focusing on the things that you can control and saying fuck it to the rest.”Don't Miss a Beat.  Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett:  https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/ Emily's Website: https://emilykrempholtz.com/

And.... we're back!FINALLY.I had no intention of being gone from the show for so long, but sometimes life is mess. Perfect is nowhere to be found within a million miles of my life right now, but then again, can't all of us say the same?Season 1 of Let Perfect Burn was some of the strongest medicine I've ever taken because it made me feel so renewed every time I got to have intimate, rewarding conversations with my guests. These women on the show were real, they were vulnerable, they were raw, they were gracious, they were funny, they made me laugh (hard) and they made me feel so very alive every single time I stepped in studio.And now... I get to do it again. Only it feels a little different this time. Season 1 I was still on the high of my inpatient psychiatric hospitalization— because I had advocated for myself for the first time in my life, I felt like my life was destined to only go up from there. YEAH. NO. Season 2 feels like landing back on Earth. And even though being on Earth doesn't have any of the self-actualization euphoria I felt before, I feel more grounded. Grounded in reality. Grounded as a woman speaking the truth— and as the great Ruth Bader Ginsburg would say, "Even if your voice shakes."I feel honored that you are still with me and that you want to take the chance on a second journey around the sun. Welcome back to Season 2 of Let Perfect Burn. Here we go.

Only 9 months ago now, I was leaving a psychiatric hospital, the moment in my life that inspired me to create this podcast. The laughter and the joy during these months on Let Perfect Burn were moments where my depression lightened, because I felt full- I was having these intimate, rewarding conversations with my guests. These women on the show were real, they were vulnerable, they were raw, they were gracious, they were funny, they made me laugh (hard) and they made me feel so very alive every single time I stepped in studio.And while we say goodbye (just for now) I want to leave you with every guest from Season 1 reminding us that when you let perfect burn, what's left can be really, really, beautiful.

In this episode, I sit down with Christine Hamel, an artist, educator and author the book, Sounding Bodies: Identity, Injustice, and the Voice. Before she landed where she is, she studied art, critical theory, English, classical voice, and opera. She was even the first website designer for the Independent Film Channel. But at this moment, Christine feels like it may be time to knock it all down. “It's getting to the point where I feel like just because I've found success or that people want me to do certain things, doesn't mean I have to keep doing them. I really feel like it just needs to all fall apart.”Christine thinks about her current life as petals needing to fall away to expose the core. Those petals may be hiding something bigger. She tells us that since the pandemic and since being in her later 40s, she just keeps asking, “Did I get a chance to try this thing? Did I get a chance to take a deep dive into that aspect of life that I found really meaningful or joyful? And did I do enough? Did I do enough good to alleviate suffering? Did I do enough to care for others?”As the mother of a trans child, Christine must grapple with how to keep her child safe: “We are absolutely terrified about the world right now and absolutely terrified about what's going on with anti-trans sentiment and legislation. We live in this fairly liberal community, but it's not progressive in the ways that there's definitely space to feel safe.”For Christine, grieving is what letting perfect burn means for her. “It's like a little bit of the Phoenix. It's that sense of, “why hold on to that?” There's time for other things now, but not for that."Highlights from Christine:"I'm ready to let go of some things. The pandemic was a catalyst for this understanding, which is that I don't need to do everything all at once. I'm tired of trying to hold up too many projects and too many obligations. And hopefully, I have another half of my life left, but when I really look at it, I think there are still things that I would like to be able to learn to do that I haven't done, or where I feel like I want to double down on things that actually feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives in a new way, in a profound or different and more, maybe more tangible way. ""With the voice, we often use the word natural, as I mentioned, so our whole premise is just that our voices can't exist outside of culture, and they can't exist outside of politics and they're filled with identity, and that's a really good thing. And so, just to even conceptualize stripping the voice of markers of identity, like your race, and class, or ethnicity, or gender, to get to something neutral or natural underneath can do real harm.""I think what I would like people to know is that it's really their issue if they can't interpret or understand gender diversity. Our kid, even if they are in a process of becoming, or iterating, who they are going to be, they also know themselves— they know what they need to be and they get it. It may not be fully defined, but their inner being is in a process that feels good and whole, and that the way you may be receiving our kid is really your own issue to work out."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Follow Christine Hamel on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/chwoodberry/

In this episode, I sit down with Alicia Hunt, a Commercial Pilot and Flight Instructor. Before becoming a pilot, Alicia had a 13 year career in film, commercial work and theatre in Los Angeles. Alicia found she could never stop looking for her next gig and never turn off her phone and risk missing a call from her agent. She burnt out and planned a trip to Asia with her best friend. But the trip didn't rejuvenate Alicia, it confirmed her life needed to shift. She says, “I thought I would come back refreshed. And instead, I got back and felt a natural point of separation. It was a natural point to change my life. I was ready to find my next step.”Alicia knew she needed something hands on and very “boots on the ground”. Alicia thrives on high intensity situations and those around her offered suggestions such as becoming a surgeon, a 911 operator or a police officer. There was a very consistent theme.Alicia enlisted the help of a career counselor, and she provided some blunt analysis: “Alicia, you are a complex person. There will be no perfect fit for you. Whichever career you choose, you will be leaving large parts of yourself at the door.” During this time, Alicia heard of the pilot shortage— that there weren't enough people to fly planes, let alone women and people of color. Through twists and turns along the way, Alicia got herself into the sky and now teaches others how to fly. Alicia works to recruit women to the field and mentors both women and people of color to secure scholarships for flight school.Alicia, like other pilots, is critical of her landings. Asking herself these questions helps her to remember, perfect is not the goal: “Did you bend any metal? Did anybody get hurt? Did anybody die? No? Then it was a good landing.” For Alicia, being imperfect is part of the job.Highlights from Alicia:"I took a train all the way across China from the eastern edge of it all the way to the edge of Tibet, and made a lot of stops in between. It was incredible. And when I finished the trip, I thought I would come back and feel refreshed, it was the vacation of a lifetime. And instead, I got back and I was at a natural point of separation. It was a natural point of being ready to change my life. I was ready to find my next step.""One of the things I knew I wanted out of a new career is I wanted something high demand. I was really tired of being in a market that was saturated. And where I knew I had so much to give in that field. But so did everyone else. And I was tired of constantly pushing and pushing and pushing to look for work.""One of my favorite things about acting is how you must be present. You can't be anywhere else. You have to be completely immersed in your character in the moment and the scene and the dialogue. And it's the exact same when you're flying a plane. You can not be distracted with anything else. You need to be listening to air traffic control. You need to be ready to deliver your own line which is coming up soon. You know your traffic control talks then you talk and it's a script. Let me tell you, if you can do Shakespeare you can sure as heck can do air traffic control."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Follow Alicia Hunt on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/aliciahunt1/

In this episode, I sit down with actor, singer, musician & songwriter, Eleri Ward. And if you have been listening to Let Perfect Burn,  then you have heard Eleri's incredible voice and her soulful original music. This summer, Eleri is opening for Josh Groban for his "Harmony Tour". Her signature indie-folk sound is most notable on her album A Perfect Little Death. This album was produced by Ghostlight Records, and features Eleri's covers of Stephen Sondheim classics. In speaking about her amazing upcoming summer adventure, Eleri says, “I'm going to be doing this alone with the guitar, but in front of thousands of people. I'm freaked out. But also, excited AF about it.”The genesis of A Perfect Little Death came during Covid. Eleri took to her walk-in closet and created an arrangement of the Sondheim song that she couldn't get out of her head. Her Joanna Reprise arrangement and homemade video was created the next day, and before long, her social media posts took off. Over the course of a month, she recorded all 13 songs to create the album. She had a friend mix and master it. She took a Polaroid of herself holding a guitar for the album. She says, “When something is truly raw and organic, you can feel it. And I can't help but wonder if that's the thing that people have responded to.”Eleri uses her reach to encourage others to put their work into the world and to make art from their authentic selves. “There's something about people continuing and truly putting themselves out there, even if it's uncomfortable or no one's watching. Because you don't know what can happen to that work that you put out years from now.”Highlights from Eleri:"It can be hard for me to let go and just trust that the audience's reaction is the truth versus my own inner experience that no one else is seeing. And I'm just I'm really, really hard on myself. And I'm working on not being so hard on myself. But it's definitely a double edged sword, because it's like, that clearly has worked for me in terms of working hard and being the best that I can possibly be.""And it's like, jeez girl, give yourself a break—you're a human being. And they gave you a standing O, and that should be reason enough to ease up on yourself and believe that the imperfections of that performance gave them a special experience that they'll never get if they watch a video.""A lot of the time as an artist, you don't even realize the gifts that you're giving people. And that is a really beautiful thing. I can't stress enough how important it is to me for people to fearlessly and continuously put their work out there.  Because that is a gift they are giving, even if they have no idea they are giving it to somebody."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Listen to All of Eleri Ward's Music & Catch Her Shows:https://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I sit down with Mentor, Coach & Mystic, Katy Downey. Katy is from a small town in New York and there was something about New York City that was calling her name. She was accepted into the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City, working for Betsy Johnson. But the partying, clubbing, fast-paced scene of the fashion industry didn't feel like home to Katy— she was a nature, green grass type of woman. Katy says, “There was something still pulling at me saying, this isn't your spot, baby. And that was a big moment of failure. You know, I failed. I couldn't make it in New York. And that was an ego death that I had to go through.”Katy's work ethic brought her success in ventures beyond New York City, eventually landing a job with Tesla. She learned, unsurprisingly, that Tesla was a man's world. When Katy started rattling cages and speaking out against the injustices she saw, the job she loved became toxic. Although she was well compensated at Tesla, it wasn't worth it. She put in her two weeks and never looked back.On a whim, Katy joined her cousin in Tulum, Mexico after quitting her job. Katy tells us, “And that's when I felt free. I wasn't wearing shoes; I was running down dirt paths. I was going into meditations, I was doing yoga, I was dancing. I was singing— that person that was there the whole time was really blossoming all over again. And don't get me wrong, there was tons of crying.”When Katy returned, she trained in Reiki and psychic surgery, then opened her practice to tarot and oracle readings. She started mentoring and coaching other women to find their truth, and created a collection of artists and practitioners in her town to support one another. Katy says, “I am all about wellness, all about love, all about empowerment. Who do you want to be, because you can start tomorrow. You don't have to keep living the way that you are.”Highlights from Katy:"Instead of seeing the beauty in the chaos, things have to crumble when they're not on a good foundation. And that's exactly what happened. Including me— that was a whole ego death of if my identity isn't a Tesla supervisor then who am I?"There's such a goldmine of women in your community that are just as inspiring and so much easier to connect with because they're living a life that you're right alongside with.""And that's what it comes down to— unconditional love.  Do you love yourself unconditionally? Does everyone else love you unconditionally? Or do they love you under the condition that they set?"Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Connect with Katy on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/krosedowney777/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I talk with Artist, Musician and Educator, Paige Clark Perkinson. Paige was a working actor, when she decided to start her family. She talks about her struggles with anxiety and depression while her son was still in her belly, and how after he was born, she found herself questioning if the decision to create a family meant that parts of her would have to disappear. “Things were fine for a while. And then it came time to get back in the game and start acting again. And then there was this whole piece of guilt about where I spent my time. And I felt there was this resistance of my identity being limited to only a mother from then on. I had to say that I was an actor. I am an artist. How dare you? I got really defensive for a while.”Paige talks about raising her son, who is one quarter Korean, when both she and her mother weren't raised in the Korean culture. “It's been a weird experience to be singled out and excluded for something that I really don't feel a part of. I don't get the benefits of being part of a community. But I get the detriments of being excluded, because I look like I'm part of that community.”What started as Paige's “day job” working as an arts educator, has now become her primary focus. She is still an artist, she is still an actor, she is still a musician, but they have moved to the background of her life. She loves her students, she loves her job, but she acknowledges the little deaths she has had to go through in her life. “I am mourning expectations, mourning the loss of these hopes. That's definitely how I would describe even my reaction to wanting a girl but having a boy. I was mourning the expectation. And I will be happy about what I do get. But first I need to mourn the change.”Highlights from Paige:"Whether it's at nine in the morning, and they're asleep or it's at eight o'clock at night, when we're in tech rehearsal and tensions are running high, I think about using my powers for good. Theater tips over into the realm of non-academic. It gets really personal and emotional and I thrive on being there for them. I gives me purpose, it gives me meaning.""So that's how I'm approaching having a quarter racial, Korean son— helping him notice the differences in other kids around him. We live in a diverse neighborhood, I think, and in the summertime, he'll say, 'Oh their skin is brown' and I will tell him that yes, some people's skin is brown, some is peach, some is very dark and that is all okay.""I wish at 18 I had believed that. I wish I could have stood in my own beauty and my own power at that age. Saying it now, I think I'm definitely trying to more mindfully do that for myself.  I am 35. I weigh more now than I did when I was 18. But I can still say, "You're beautiful. You're enough. You look great. "Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Paige Clark Perkinson on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/vpclark/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I sit down with the wildly funny, authentic-as-hell Michelle Cove, the Senior Communications Manager for Experience Camps for Grieving Children. When Michelle was 20 years old, she lost her father. She continued by living in a state of shock, until 12 years later, she fell apart. She was in a loving, supportive marriage with a young child, and the trauma of her young adulthood hit hard. “It threw me because I didn't know why. And the reason why was that I was safe. I was in a stable place, all around me. There were signs that said it's okay now to fall apart.”Michelle takes us on her journey that led to her current professional role as the Senior Communications Manager for Experience Camps for Grieving Children. The campers are young people who have lost a parent or parent figure or a sibling. With Covid, Michelle has seen even more applications for campers whose loved one has died of overdose or suicide, the pandemic making life, especially in communities of color, impossible, exacerbated by the lack of mental health access.Michelle brings her life experience to her organization in her daily work, getting the word out about the camp, amongst other missions. She focuses on education for supporting those grieving: “If we are talking about grief, or if we're talking about depression or anxiety or anybody facing any adversity— just sitting with them, not trying to fix it, or give them your wisdom. Nobody needs your advice. Just, ‘that sounds hard.' Or, ‘I want to hear what it's like for you.' Or, ‘I'm just listening.'”Highlights from Michelle:"And I realized that Goddammit, there were gifts from the death of my Dad. And the biggest one was I don't take time for granted.""You're valuable just because you're valuable. You're worthwhile because you're you. And everything after that is just extensions of what you want to put out into the world. And it's such a different way to live when you really get that.""I think authenticity is the hottest thing in the world. People showing you who they really are— take me or leave me. This is me. I don't know what's better than that. I love showing up that way and I love it in other people. It's the thing I find the most attractive."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Learn more about Michelle Cove:http://www.michellecove.com/Experience Camps for Grieving Children:https://experiencecamps.org/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I speak with Whole Body Coach, Alyssa Keegan. Growing up in rural Michigan, Alyssa Keegan was working as a professional actor and voiceover artist. Alyssa got married and had a son, identifying during that period of their life as monogamous, straight and cis. Yet when Alyssa began their poly journey, they came to know their true self— polyamorous, pansexual, queer, kinky and gender non-conforming. When the pandemic hit and Alyssa lost their acting career, they decided to make a shift and dedicate their life to supporting others who found themselves questioning their identity and relationships later in life.Alyssa takes us on their journey of self-attachment and self-love and how they became attuned to their reactions with their partners that came from a place of trauma response. Alyssa talks about falling apart and hitting rock bottom, but at the bottom, seeing that they were still there and that they would be okay. “I had practiced proving to my body that I was going to show up and take care of it. I was going to sit with the parts of myself, the little parts of myself, the defensive parts of myself and tell them all they were welcome there.”In speaking about their clients, they say, “Letting the mind relax for a time is so informative, particularly when it comes to issues of insecurity, jealousy, or possessiveness. Whether you're a client who is coming to me because you're in a monogamous structure or a consensually non- monogamous structure, the foundation of every healthy relationship comes back to that relationship with yourself.”Highlights from Alyssa:" I teach my clients that from a scientific perspective, that the oldest part of our brain is rooted in your nervous system. And understanding that and being able to listen to that more really helps us uncover these parts of ourselves that need attention that we cognitively don't necessarily understand.""I was chased down and held down and and I really had to wrestle with the fact that as a bipolar parent, he was the best parent in the world when he was up. And he was violent and abusive when he was down. And so I loved him deeply, and sought his excitement and his attention. And then he would turn into a monster. "" I ask myself if I am slipping into the delicious desire of having somebody else take care of all of my problems. Because it's so enticing to have somebody else just to dump everything on. Which is not to say that you can't rely on other people— sure, from a perspective of secure attachment. You rely on them from a healthy space, knowing that you've got yourself and they can lend a hand. Not that it's their job to take care of you."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Alyssa Keegan's Work:https://universalethicallove.com/Alyssa's Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/therealalyssakeegan/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I speak with Hannah Husband, who started her career as a personal trainer. In the process of interviewing dozens of clients, she found that every single woman had the goal of losing weight. It didn't matter if she was a size 0 or a size 20, there was this shared idea that the smallest body was the best body. Hannah decided to make it her mission to investigate what it meant to help her clients liberate their bodies— to move in the ways that felt good, to give attention to a body part that was asking for care, and to gain strength rather than only lose weight.In Oakland, California, Hannah opened her studio, The Fitness Alchemists. Hannah was renting space from a Cross-Fit gym, which ceased to work when she realized she was giving 150% with a 45% efficacy for her clients. It was clear that the work Hannah was doing could not survive in its current environment. Even though Hannah felt like she was running on empty, she opened her own studio space. But then Covid hit, and Hannah surrendered. Her body said it was time to stop.Hannah and her partner agreed that they could afford 1 month of Hannah allowing herself to be still, to exist with purposeful nothingness and allow for her body and her soul to heal. Becoming an “empty vessel” let Hannah decide what she wanted to place back into her body and what was vital to let go of. She says, “Just let the things go that aren't for you. Let the effort that you've been pouring yourself into that isn't serving you go. Let it go up in flames and then you have that beautiful clean slate.”Some highlights in this Episode from Hannah:"There was this universal, "I should probably lose x pounds", or "I should probably slim down this part." And something in my brain was like, wait a minute, even people who look like the standard still feel like this. Maybe the system is rigged, like maybe we're all being sold a bad deal here. And I realized that there's no arriving.""And there's righteous anger, which is generally something that was not allowed for me and my family of origin, but we need that actually. It's a really cleansing force in our beings.""I call myself a recovering perfectionist. So there's this drive to get it right. I don't feel like I'm doing enough unless I'm working hard. There was a connection between effort and worthiness."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Reach out to Hannah Husband, on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/hannahhusband/Reach out to Hannah, via her Website:http://www.hannahhusband.com/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I speak with Joanna Silverman, of Early Parenting Partners. Joanna was a teacher, and when she got sick, she was forced to look at her life and figure out what she could do to continue working with children to make their lives better. Joanna founded Early Parenting Partners, a company geared at supporting parents to better care for their children. I personally used Joanna's services when my youngest son was born. I was terrified of falling back into post-partum depression and I needed someone skilled and passionate about childhood development to guide me through my son's attachment needs and how each phase of development shaped his sleep. I kid you not when I say, “SHE SAVED MY LIFE.”When you listen to Joanna speak, it is so clear that she knows who she is, what she stands for and what she has shed: “Aren't we all just tired of pretending? I don't want to spend time with someone that I'm pretending with anymore. Like, you know, this is me. And if it's too much for you, that's okay. But when you come to me in a crisis, I have got space for you.”We talk about being blessed by breaking points. And not blessed in that we are happy they happened, but in this way that the breaking has taught us something and attuned us to pieces of the world we had never been able to hear: “Breaking points are not easy, right? And they don't get fixed up into a little box. And if they do, then you're going to have another breaking point. And if we can all be honest with each other, about how incredibly difficult being human can be. I think there will be less shame.”Some highlights in this Episode from Joanna:" Letting perfect burn allows me to find my personal authority. I get rid of all the stories of what I picked up on what I should be. And I get to come home to what it is I want to be."" And that's how I feel about people I work with. I'm very upfront with people that this is what I stand for. And if that doesn't align for you, there's somebody who can work with you who aligns with your values. My values are not right, they're just mine."" And so when I think about the little guys that are challenged right now, or the students I work for, they're giving us a deep message about challenges and change. And if the system is working, you're not questioning the current narratives and I personally believe our current narratives need to be questioned."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Reach out to Joanna Silverman, of Early Parenting Partners:https://www.earlyparentingpartners.com/index.htmlOriginal Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode, I sit down with the insanely brave, Alex Highsmith. She is a writer, producer and company member of Don, Pat & Tom, a multimedia company.  Inspired by her own sobriety journey, she is also the founder of Sober Sallys, a support group created during the pandemic for sober women experiencing extreme isolation.Alex was an actor in college, and because she was easily finding success, she had a lot of time on her hands to drink and socialize. Right out of school, she was cast in a national tour, and once again, Alex found herself protected. When the bubble burst and she was shot out into the world, Alex drank to mask her terror. Her drinking lead to Adderall, then cocaine and then meth.Alex is part of a 12 Step Program and she takes us through what rock bottom looked like in her world. She talks about the challenges of staying sober and how little pieces of light in her life are her lifeline.In this new phase of her life, Alex is able to support others, she has a loving partner and an adorably cute pup. She has a steady job she enjoys. She can look her mother in the face and she can sleep at night because she does not have to keep track of all of the lies needed to keep straight. Alex is brave, she is real, she is honest. She isn't afraid to talk about the messy and the ugly. I know her words will assure many of us out there that we have been seen and we have been heard.Some highlights in this Episode from Alex:“I was drinking. And then I started to get into hard drugs. I went from Adderall to cocaine to meth. And I come from a nice family. I'm from Utah, I've got everything going for me. And that kind of darkness found me. So, I only say that because I never anticipated who I would become.”“There's the Big Bang. And then there's the quiet sort of implosion. Because rock bottom in my program is seen as that every rock bottom has a trapdoor. And that's to scare you. That's to let you know that you can always go further than you imagined.”“It's about the very small stuff now, like my theatre company. I'm a really reliable part of my theatre company. That is crazy to me. People had to drag me to rehearsals because I was wasted. It was such an opportunity and I just missed it. So, now the light has changed. But there was always a light for the day, I just needed to look for it.”Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Reach out to Alex Highsmith, on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/ahigh4life/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this week's episode, I sit down with Kate Eckstein, of Kate Eckstein Design. Kate left the corporate world to realize her dream of owning her own interior design business. When she began her company, she had become the mother of two small children, she was married and believed herself to be living a fully authentic life. Yet when Kate discovered that the woman she was presenting to the world was not her true self, she also had to acknowledge she was not her true self in her marriage. Kate talks about the shedding that happens in divorce and the pain of what is lost, even if authenticity is found.Like me, Kate is the mother of a neurodivergent child. We talk about our perfectionistic personalities and how they bleed into motherhood. We talk about how we find ourselves “chasing our child's brain” because our sons' needs are so great, and we think that there is always more we could be doing to help these little humans feel successful in their lives. Spoiler alert: we are human and just doing our best.Kate just keeps reminding us over and over that there is so much letting go that is constantly taking place to grow: “By letting the perfect that I thought I needed go, it allowed me to be at peace with who I am with what's left.”Some highlights in this Episode from Kate:“You want to say, ‘Oh, I won't lose anything because I'm real now', but you will lose all kinds of stuff and it hurts. And you wonder, well, maybe that other person was better than the real me because maybe that's why I created that person in the first place. But after all I've gone through, that now that I am on the other side, I can say, oh… the people who are still here right now, they know what's on the inside. And they love it.”"And I think, certainly going through the divorce, I lost that exact thing.  And it's very interesting to be fully supported and loved by a partner, but have them not be able to take on that anxiety, or compassion. I guess it is like, they don't need to, and they aren't. They can't have the same level of feeling towards your kid.""Starting a whole new life, when you're a fully fledged adult is complicated. I was married for 13 years, we just sort of grew up together. And now... new relationship, new family members, new home, new job—it's like learning all of this stuff over again. So there's a huge learning curve in terms of that blending of people, and who you want to be in that mix."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Website for Kate Eckstein Design:http://www.kateecksteindesign.com/Kate's Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/kateecksteindesign/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this week's episode of Let Perfect Burn, I sit down with Cloteal L. Horne— an actor, a director and an educator who currently resides in Brooklyn, New York. Cloteal's most recent work was in Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye at The Huntington Theatre. This production was adapted for stage by Lydia R. Diamond and directed by Awoye Timpo.Cloteal speaks to her deep-rooted belief that every time she walks into a room, whether it be as an artist or educator, that she has her ancestors, both known and unknown, at her back. She talks about the weight and the wonder of being able to be in a room creating art because of the blood, sweat, tears, joy and liberation strategies of Africans and African Americans. She tells me, “My life is a luxury. It isn't perfect, but I certainly recognize I would not be where I am without that level of struggle and love. That there were so many acts of love that made me.”Born the 7th out of 10 children, Cloteal was raised by her grandmother, whom she shares a name. From her grandmother, Cloteal learned there is a power in femininity, that there is sway by standing in her womanliness, that there is power in yielding and strength in a tender ferocity.Cloteal asks us if her story matters. Cloteal asks us if she can find the spaces where she can sing the song of her mother or the secrets that were whispered in her ears as child. She tells us, “It's not neutral, my lived experience, and how it shows up in a room.”Cloteal paints multiple pictures of being a black woman in white spaces, including in the idea of "perfect". “As a black woman, perfect has been a white standard in some ways, as opposed to being who I really am— who I am with my grandmother, my cousins, my siblings, my friends. Feeling like I have to be this performative version of myself to be validated. So, for me, that is the perfect I want to burn.”Some highlights in this Episode from Cloteal:" It did make it harder in those rehearsal rooms with predominantly white casts. I had to keep saying, 'Can we examine this production of A Midsummer Night's Dream that is set in the 20's? I am a black woman and what does it mean to uproot this production and put it elsewhere?' So, you know, I fight those battles in a room. It's like, you can't just erase my black body. It's a black body."" Power is not always maleness. It's, I am going to listen, I am going to attune, I am going to pause, I am going to pray, I am going to wait, I am going to gather."" Where I'm at is where the party is at. And if it's not where THE party's at, it's where I'm at, and that's gotta be enough."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Website for Cloteal L. Horne:https://www.cloteallhorne.com/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this week's episode of Let Perfect Burn, I sit down with Lorraine Shedoudi— a yogi, a yoga teacher and the co-owner of LPY Yoga with studios in Lexington, Woburn and Burlington, Massachusetts. One of Lorraine's greatest passions is her Gratitude Adjustment— a 12-week training program for one's brain and heart that she created after the death of her mom, and a diagnosis for her young son. Above all, Lorraine seeks to cultivate a safe place to land, and the opportunity to exhale.A graduate of U.C. Berkeley and Boston College, Lorraine's career in counseling lead her to work in the fields of substance abuse and suicide prevention. Lorraine was always drawn to the places where it felt scary and dark, where we, as human beings, get lost.In her day-to-day job as a substance abuse counselor, Lorraine's physical and mental well-being began to suffer. It was then that yoga became her lifeline. She found she could still support people in the dark and scary parts of their lives, but in an environment where she could also thrive.In her work, Lorraine asks us to remember, that even in our darkest moments, some things are working, even if it's just your breath, or the sun shining or running water or a hot shower. So that gratitude becomes something you can anchor to when your ship is in a brutal storm.Lorraine reminds us that change, and transformation isn't always lovely and wonderful, but often awkward and messy. She reminds people that it can feel like you are walking through fire. And Lorraine asks us to consider, “What if, instead of offering some trope to someone suffering, we hold space, learning about what they lost and what is still alive in them?”Some highlights in this Episode from Lorraine:" You know, it's not like I always walk in with joy and light.  There are days when I think, "let's just land". That's where we're the safest, when there's not a lot being spoken about. Just that place to feel like we exhale."" In the yoga industry, I think transformation can get mispackaged.  And I try really hard not to talk about transformation as this always beautiful thing. It's awkward, it's messy, it's challenging death, and that feeling of something dying before it's reborn is really hard."" That internal space is where we can realize that suffering is universal. And in that space, we can hold each other, until, there is room to hold ourselves."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Reach out to Lorraine Shedoudi, Yogi and Creator of The Gratitude Adjustment:https://www.lorraineshedoudi.com/https://www.instagram.com/shedoudi/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this week's episode of Let Perfect Burn, I sit down with Sarah Tomakich, a Licensed Sex Therapist. Sarah learned to fly airplanes as a young woman in her attempt to escape her home of origin. Later in her life, Sarah's divorce brought her back to the ground— she found her own therapist and was forever changed.Through her own therapy, Sarah began a journey of unpacking all of the pieces of herself that she had kept closeted —her perfectionism being very effective at protecting her from pain.Sarah's devotion to her continued work on her own self-discovery is what allows her to show up for her clients as the most authentic version of herself as she can be. Now believing with her whole heart that love is infinite and that every piece of her deserves to be seen and heard, Sarah has found another chapter in her life where both she and her clients are allowed to show up fully and allowed to believe that they are, by nature of being alive, enough.Some highlights in this Episode from Sarah:" It's important to be curious about ourselves and to have a way of developing a very connected inner world. To be able to ask, 'What does my inner world look like? And what does it give me? And why did I need to protect it from somebody?'"" I needed my perfectionism. It helped me, it protected me from some things that happened to me. But now I don't want to live as protected anymore. So I think that this idea of it burning away is the idea of whatever is underneath is the woman I want."" I no longer feel the need to be different than I am today. That what I'm offering, who I am is loving and messy and disappointing. But enough. Enough for me and enough for those around me. And that... that is my recovery."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Reach out to Sarah Tomakich, Licensed Sex Therapist:https://www.instagram.com/sarahtomakich/?hl=enOriginal Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

In this episode of Let Perfect Burn, I sit down with boudoir photographer, Caroline Talbot, of Caroline Talbot Studios. Her clients are women who want to reclaim their bodies, typically after a significant life event: marriage, divorce, health crisis, trauma and many more. They want to be vulnerable by choice.Caroline talks about one of the most amazing moments in her sessions is the moment she watches her client let go. It is in the letting go that the woman in her lens truly gives herself permission to be present, to be enough, to be courageous and empowered.Caroline lives and breathes that every single woman is ENOUGH AF.Some highlights in this Episode from Caroline:"I help my clients see something beautiful in themselves that they may not have seen in a very long time, or ever. I love being able to show them what I see and what their loved ones see when we look at them.""This session was a farewell to her body. I always sit down with clients before their session because yes, we take sexy photos, but I want to understand the why.""It's been a struggle of saying I want to be able to essentially have the best of both worlds. And it's impossible, you cannot. So being able to have that space to say it is okay to want to work and want to be away from your children. And then also wanting to be present and be there for them. But knowing that I want to be away from them sometimes, I can be better when I'm with them."Don't Miss a Beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/Follow Caroline Talbot Studios' Work:https://www.instagram.com/carolinetalbotstudios/Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Wardhttps://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

Oh my God, it's finally here!I am so, so proud that I am launching this podcast, a creation that began as an idea during recovery after a mental health crisis. Now Let Perfect Burn is a lifeline to me that I believe in more than anything else I have ever done as a professional, working artist.In this episode, I will bring you my story, how Let Perfect Burn was born and my mission in its creation.Some highlights in this Episode from me:"It is extremely hard for a perfectionist to need to go to the hospital for something so often seen in society as something not to be discussed. And at this point, I take 3-4 medications just to function, and not always very well. And that can feel tough and shameful like, 'What the heck? Why do I need all this just to be in the world?'""But I will say... As hard as it's been and as hard as it may continue to be, I really love this person I am now. She's a lot braver. She's so much more real. She still really struggles, but she is getting better at letting people in.""And it is my hope that in all of the voices you hear, you find a moment here or there that makes you feel seen, and heard. And gives you hope. And makes you believe, that when you let perfect burn, what's left is really, really beautiful."Don't miss a beat. Follow my Instagram for news from me: https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/