Life's Lemons and Lessons

In this episode, we dive into pleasure, sexual empowerment, and confidence with the incredible Goody Howard MPH, MSW. Goody is a world-renowned sexologist, educator, and consultant who has dedicated her life to empowering others through sexual exploration, education, and awareness. From hosting sexual skill workshops to creating sex-positive professional development opportunities, Goody layers her focus on pleasure with her engaging and energetic presentation style. Today, we'll be discussing the journey to sexual liberation, how confidence in the bedroom translates to other areas of life, and practical tips to empower your sex life within marriage. Podcast Mentions Find Goody Howard: Click Here Goody Instagram: Click Here Support this Podcast: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

There are moments in our relationships where communication breaks down, and things can start to feel overwhelming. In today's episode, we explore a concept from Dr. John Gottman's research that can help explain why. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse represent four harmful communication patterns that, when left unchecked, can lead to the downfall of a marriage. Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling—these destructive behaviors don't just harm the relationship; they destroy connection and intimacy. But there is hope! In this episode, we'll not only discuss these patterns but also explore antidotes to help you turn things around and strengthen your marriage. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Black Love Doc: Black Love Show John Gottman:  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work The Four Horsemen by The Gottman Institute: The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Today, we're diving into the critical role of understanding personal values in marriage. Understanding your values isn't just about recognizing what's important to you—it's fundamentally about how these values shape your beliefs, decisions, and behaviors within your relationship. In this episode, we will explore: What Values Are: Gain a clear understanding of what values are and how they shape your beliefs, decisions, and behaviors within your marriage. The Consequences of Not Understanding Your Values: Discover what can go wrong when you don't understand your values and how this can lead to conflicts, inconsistent behaviors, and weakened boundaries in your relationship. How to Identify Your Personal Values: Learn practical steps to identify your own values, including self-reflection, assessments, and feedback from loved ones. Respect and Acceptance in Marriage: Understand the importance of respecting and accepting both your own values and your spouse's values, and how to creatively navigate differences to strengthen your relationship. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Personal Value Assessment: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Everything has a good side right, but what's the good side to anger? Today, we learn how to express anger in healthy ways to become better at using it rather than bottling it up, or hurting those around us. You will learn: The purpose of anger as an emotion and it's biological & societal roots. Effective strategies for men to manage their anger in the moment and beyond? Guidance on how couples can rebuild trust after conflict. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Guest Info Find Jared Kiddoe: Authentic Marriages Jared Kiddoe:  Instagram The Anger Control Workbook: ⁠Click Here⁠ Emotional Intelligence Explained: ⁠Click Here⁠ BMT Worksheet Emotional Intelligence: ⁠Click Here⁠ Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown: ⁠Click Here⁠ Feelings Wheel: ⁠Click Here⁠ Therapy for Black Men: ⁠Find a Therapist⁠ Therapy for Black Girls: ⁠Find a Therapist⁠ BetterHelp: ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/⁠ TalkSpace: ⁠https://www.talkspace.com/⁠ CBT Thought Diary: ⁠https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/⁠ Libby Audiobook Library: ⁠https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In this episode, we're exploring the vital role of emotional intelligence (EI) in marriage. Emotional intelligence isn't just about managing other people's feelings or being overly aware of their emotions—it's fundamentally about understanding and managing your own emotions effectively. We'll look into how EI starts with you, its importance in improving communication and conflict resolution, and how to develop and apply it in your relationship. In this episode, you will gain: A Clear Understanding of Emotional Intelligence: Learn what EI is, how it impacts your ability to manage your own emotions, and how it affects your interactions with others. Insights into Common Toxic Emotional Behaviors: Discover the most common toxic ways people handle emotions and how these can negatively impact your marriage. Practical Tips for Developing and Applying EI: Get actionable advice on how to build emotional intelligence, apply it in your daily life, and enhance your relationship with your partner. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Emotional Intelligence Explained: Click Here BMT Worksheet Emotional Intelligence: Click Here Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown: Click Here Feelings Wheel: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Today, we are diving into a topic that we have never discussed before on the show: caretaking and its effect on marriage. Caretaking can involve caring for someone who is physically or mentally ill, be it a parent, relative, or spouse. Recently, we've been thrust into the caretaking role with our ailing parents, and we're navigating this new stage of life while sharing our experiences, how we deal with it individually and as a couple, and offering tips that have helped us manage this challenging phase. You will receive: Coping strategies for managing the stress of caretaking. Encouragement & Acknowledgment for those who are experiencing caretaking in their marriage. Instruction on how to discuss caretaking responsibilities with others. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Support for Caregivers: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In today's episode, we have a candid conversation about the ups and downs of marriage, focusing on growth, trust, and emotional capacity. We take an unfiltered look into our marriage, discussing our struggles and how we navigate them. Inspired by prominent voices in the black marriage community, we emphasize the importance of sharing both the highs and the lows to provide a realistic view of marital life. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here John Gottman:  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Kevin and Melissa Fredricks: Marriage be Hard Beleaf in Fatherhood: How Married Are You? Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In this episode, I address what I. believe is the result of long term porn use in relationships.  While some argue it can enhance sexual experiences, others say it breeds discontent, and an inability to connect intimately with one's partner.  I will be drawing insights from my personal experiences and those of members in my recovery group who claim shattered marriages, career losses and even deeper dives into other forms of addiction. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click HereSampson SocietyCovenant EyesUnwanted by Jay Stringer Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Did you know that 69% of marital conflicts will not be resolved why because these conflicts stem from fundamental differences between the the two individuals in the relationship. These problem are less about the bills, family, or sex but more about how the individual sees and responds to these issues. Lets talk about it, in this episode we will discuss where natural differences come from,  how to accept your spouse as a whole person good and bad, our experience and how learning this helped our marriage.  Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BLACKMARRIAGE and get on your way to being your best self. In this episode, we talk about the sometimes controversial topic of gender differences and similarities in the context of marriage. We discuss how men and women, especially in the Black community, are more alike than we often think. We address the stereotypes spread by the media and common social beliefs, highlighting the need for critical thinking and self-education to strengthen and support marriages. Podcast Mentions BetterHelp: Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Support this Podcast: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In this episode, Junior and Dr. Jared Kiddoe teach men how to deal with the pressing issue of healing Black men's traumas in America. Listen to Learn: *Working definition for mental health & trauma *Why is addressing trauma so hard for black men? (including how men typically respond) *How men can process their trauma Lets us acknowledge your experience and empower you with the tools to support your mental health. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: ⁠Click Here⁠ Therapy for Black Men: ⁠Find a Therapist⁠ Therapy for Black Girls: ⁠Find a Therapist⁠ BetterHelp: ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/⁠ TalkSpace: ⁠https://www.talkspace.com/⁠ CBT Thought Diary: ⁠https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Show  Notes This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BLACKMARRIAGE and get on your way to being your best self. In this episode, we talk about why honesty matters in relationships and what honesty looks like in marriagek. We discuss the journey to being completely honest, even though it's hard. We look at why we sometimes don't tell the truth, whether it's to protect our partner's feelings or because we're scared of how they'll react. We share practical tips for having tough conversations honestly and kindly, without expecting anything in return. Tune in to learn how to build trust and openness in your relationship and how to respond honestly when talking with your spouse. Podcast Mentions BetterHelp: Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Support this Podcast: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BLACKMARRIAGE and get on your way to being your best self. Today, we're chatting with Sean and Lanette Reed, a couple who've been married for 25 years. They're here to share their experiences and offer advice on navigating tough times in marriage. From dealing with doubts to finding balance and staying resilient, they'll share practical tips and stories to help couples strengthen their relationship. Get ready for an episode filled with laughter, encouragement, and useful advice for building a lasting partnership. Guest Info Find Sean & Lanette Reed: Website Sean and Lanette Reed Instagram:  Instagram Marriage In Transition: Book Lintree: All Links Podcast Mentions BetterHelp: Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Support this Podcast: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BLACKMARRIAGE and get on your way to being your best self. In this episode, we will be discussing the power of community for your marriage. This is often a pillar we don't discuss because we are often taught the “us against the world mentality”. While we agree with guarding your marriage with vigor I believe it is essential that we learn to put our marriage into healthy community environments so that we can thrive. In this episode we will discuss what community is and isn't, why community is important, and  how to build a strong community for your marriage while guarding your marriage. Podcast Mentions BetterHelp: Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Support this Podcast: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Exploring relationships always intrigues me. I'm constantly fascinated by how each couple's unique story and way of loving shape their present dynamic. In today's episode, we're going to dive into the topic of love using Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love as our guide. This theory breaks down love into three main parts: intimacy, passion, and commitment. By understanding these components, we hope to unravel the complexities of romantic connections and shed light on the different forms love can take. I'll also share some personal stories and observations I've gathered from talking to various couples. These real-life experiences will help us explore the diverse ways people express and experience love. Lastly, we'll offer some practical tips and advice based on both research and personal insights.  Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Sternberg Theory: Find out More! Psychologist Explains (Video):  Sternberg Theory Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BLACKMARRIAGE and get on your way to being your best self. In this episode, we're diving into the world of attachment styles – the unique ways we connect with others, influenced by our early relationships. We'll explore why knowing about attachment styles matters for building strong relationships and sharing our own stories to help you understand their impact. Whether it's feeling secure in closeness, worrying about being left, or preferring independence, we'll break down how these styles shape how we love. Join us for practical tips and advice to navigate attachment styles, helping you create deeper, more satisfying connections in your life. Podcast Mentions BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ Support this Podcast: Click Here Attachment Style Quiz: Quiz Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT: Wired for Love (book on attachment) Amir Levine M.D, Rachel Heller M.A: Attached (book on attachment) Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Today, we're breaking the mold by exploring the idea of going into business with your spouse. Meet Troy & Shantel Brooks, childhood friends turned spouses and business partners, sharing their journey from NYC to Atlanta with purpose, impact, and faith. In their book "Spartners," Troy & Shantel provide practical insights on how working with your spouse can enrich your marriage. Join us as we uncover reflective practices to reveal the value in your partner as a business ally and discover the gifts within your spouse for a purposeful life. In this episode, we will be learning about the Spartnership approach, the dynamics of partnership in marriage and business, and tips and advice for those of you interested in learning more about how to become Spartners. Podcast Mentions Support this PODCAST: Click Here Pre-Order the Spartners Book: Click Here Meet the Brooks:  Click Here Connect with the Brooks on Instagram: Insta Link Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Black Marriage Therapy is sponsored by BetterHelp! If you struggle to say sorry and offer your spouse authentic apologies in your relationship you are not alone. It is human nature to want to defend yourself when being critiqued about your behavior but it is essential that as couples we learn the art and the dance of apologizing. In this episode I want to share all that I have learned. In this episode, we will discuss the importance of apologies, the wrong way to apologize, the different ways people receive apologies, and tips tricks and advice to help you become better at apologizing. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BLACKMARRIAGE and get on your way to being your best self. Podcast Mentions Dr. Gary Chapman: The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships Dr. Harriet Lerner: Why Won't You Apologize? Kevin and Melissa Fredricks: Marriage Be Hard Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

There are moments in our lives that stick with us for a lifetime. Some of these moments, however, carry wounds so deep that we bury them, pretending they never existed—Until…… someone accidentally touches it. Then what?..... When left unaddressed, these invisible traumas can cast a long shadow over our lives and, more specifically, our marriages. In this episode, we're privileged to have an expert guide us through this sensitive topic. Joining us is Kaara Kiddoe, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Co-Founder of Authentic Marriages, a Christian marriage ministry she runs alongside her husband, Dr. Jared Kiddoe. Their mission is to promote emotionally and spiritually healthy marriages in the Black and Brown communities across the globe.  Guest Info Find Kaara Kiddoe: Authentic Marriages Kaara Kiddoe:  Instagram Podcast Mentions Why Am I Like This?: Book Link The Body Keeps the Score: Book Link Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Most marriages that are successful can attribute that success to the level of intentionality they put into the marriage. In every aspect of marriage, intention is like the wheels that make the car move. As the year came to a close Junior and I felt the strain our new commitments put on our relationship and decided quickly, to make the necessary changes to realign and make our relationship a priority. So for 2024, we are learning from our missteps and failures to create a better future for our relationship through intention. So If you feel like your marriage is stagnant and having trouble growing in your relationship with your partner this episode is for you. In this episode, we will discuss how to design the marriage you want through intentionality. Podcast Mentions Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

The holidays are a time for cheer and celebration but for couples, it can create tension. According to several polled therapists by the Huffington Post there a 6 main arguments that couples have during the holidays. In this episode, we are going to discuss those arguments and give you tips on how to navigate this holiday season while avoiding potential landmines in your marriage. Podcast Mentions Facebook Group: Join the Family! Huffington Post Article:  The 6 Most Common Arguments Couples Have Around The Holidays Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Tips for Navigating the Holidays as a Couple Communication of Expectations Explore the perspective that there's no absolute right or wrong, often just a difference in viewpoints (drawing inspiration from Esther Perel). Acknowledge that each person's family is unique and has its own dynamics. Embrace Humility Approach holiday gatherings with humility, recognizing that both partners bring their own backgrounds and traditions into the relationship. Foster an open mindset to understand and appreciate each other's family dynamics. Negotiate Priorities Prioritize and negotiate what aspects of the holiday season are most important to each partner. Example: Decide if traveling during Christmas is non-negotiable or if there's room for compromise. Compromise Where Possible Find common ground and compromise to create a holiday plan that suits both partners. Recognize that flexibility is key, especially when blending different family traditions. Express Discomforts Communicate any discomforts to your partner, serving as a buffer in family interactions. Example: Share concerns about personal boundaries, such as not wanting to be overly affectionate in certain family settings. Create a Game Plan Develop a game plan for holiday gatherings, including specifics like how long you'll stay and what's acceptable behavior around children. Discuss potential challenges and agree on how to address them in the moment. In-the-Moment Discussions Address issues as they arise during holiday events. Be a united front and step away together if necessary, ensuring that family dynamics don't strain your relationship. Set Boundaries Clearly define and communicate boundaries for family interactions. Establish guidelines for how much time you spend with each family, especially if conflicts arise. Stay United Resist external pressures that may attempt to pull you and your partner apart. Reaffirm your commitment to each other during the holiday season. Reflect and Adjust After the holidays, reflect on what worked well and what could be improved. Use this information to adjust your approach in future holiday seasons for even smoother experiences. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Whether you're a man seeking personal growth or a partner invested in the success of your relationship, this episode is a must-listen. Join us in this transformative episode as Rex, a licensed LMFT & Relationship coach, unveils the essential blueprint for men to thrive in their most critical roles within a marriage. We delve into the three fundamental pillars of men's personal development that are paramount to creating lasting, meaningful marriage. Emotional Intelligence: Uncover how emotional intelligence will strengthen your marital bond. Spiritual Growth: Understanding your purpose and deepen your connection to (and in) your relationship. Financial Literacy: Discuss the complexities of managing money wisely. Don't miss out on the opportunity to elevate your relationship—listen in and begin learning the tools to build a secure future today! Podcast Mentions Support our Podcast: Click Here Our Facebook Group: Click Here Eric Thomas: Click Here Books: The Psychology of Money Rich Dad Poor Dad Follow Rex: Iamrexhowardjr on instagram Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Sometimes, despite best intentions, we can still hurt each other and make wrong decisions. Sometimes despite best intentions and love for one another, we all find ourselves in a situation where we are continuously hurting one another and drifting farther and farther away.  In this episode, we dive into the topic of emotional disconnection and connection. We also talk about a technique called "repair" in the context of moment-to-moment conflict situations to help us navigate the ups and downs of our relationships. HomeWork- Complete and share this with your partner New beginnings start with understanding how we created the trap that we are caught in can you share one cue/trigger that sparks the distancing? Can you identify exactly how you push your partner away from you or make it dangerous for them to come closer? Can you identify what you tell yourself once you have emotionally withdrawn to justify separation and discourage yourself from reaching out to your partner? Does YOUR PARTNER'S perception of how EMOTIONALLY accessible, responsive, &  engaged you are fit with your view of yourself in the Relationship? Podcast Mentions Repair by John Gottman: R is For Repair Dr. Sue Johnson:  Hold Me Tight Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Dive into the world view of men with Junior Smith & Mychael Starke as they reveal the essence of empathy in relationships. In this episode, these men discuss (in detail) things like  how to recognize emotions, balance understanding without mere agreement, and the impact of external stresses on our empathetic responses. Listen in to learn more and equip yourself with tools and to build more empathetic connections with your spouse and family. Podcast Mentions Facebook Group: Join the Family! Find more info on Willard F. Harley here. Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Therapy, for a lot of us in the black community, can be taboo. Often times speaking to a stranger about our problems and our relationships can be an intimidating journey filled with uncertainty, vulnerability, and self-discovery. But today, we're here to help peel back some of the layers on the idea of therapy for your relationship and peek into what it's really all about. We also will be getting advice on 5 things that are essential for a healthy marriage from an expert with several years of experience counseling couples. Our guest today is Deborah Richelieu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a passion for guiding individuals, couples, and families toward brighter, more harmonious futures. So, if you've ever wondered about the transformative power of therapy, if you've hesitated to take that first step, or if you're just curious about the lessons a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist has to offer, you're in the right place. Podcast Mentions John Gottman:  Research Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Article Connect with Deborah Richelieu, LMFT:  Instagram: @richlydeb    She's Taking Clients: 15 min Free Consultation Youtube Channel: The Rich Couch Therapy Resources Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In our relationships, there are times when we need to sit down and talk about tough stuff. But, sometimes, we avoid these conversations because we don't know how to start them, we're scared of how the other person will react, or we hope the problem will just disappear. Sometimes, we're even unsure about our own feelings and how to explain them. We want to show you how to handle these difficult conversations. In this episode, we'll share our experiences, both the good and bad, when it comes to tough talks. We'll give you the tools you need and a step-by-step guide on how to have these hard conversations in your own relationships. How to Have Hard Conversations: Pre- Conversation Self-awareness: Overcome fear of rejection, conflict, and vulnerability. Internal Dialogue: Understand it starts with you, but be aware of potential misunderstandings. Choose the right time and place, and set the environment. Set appropriate expectations. During the Conversation Use the "honor-truth-honor" sandwich. Be assertive, and avoid beating around the bush. Be curious, seek understanding, respect, and encourage dialogue. Practice active listening. Be prepared to stop and return if needed. Post Conversation Follow up after the conversation. If needed, consider seeking mediation for help. Podcast Mentions Facebook Group: Join the Family! Psychology Today:  5 Tips for Tough Conversations With Your Partner John Gottman: Conversational Boundaries without Stonewalling Women Bring up Issues 80% of the Time: John Gottman Research Essence: The Right Way To Have Difficult Conversations With Your Partner Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

A few months ago I was on a high I felt like I was working on everything that I wanted to accomplish and out of nowhere I just stopped. I made excuses and told myself it was because I'm tired, or I needed a break or work-life balance. 4 weeks went by and I was getting worse and worse and moving further and further from my goals. I accepted my behaviors as proof that I am all the negative things I say about myself. I'm an imposter, lazy, inconsistent, and indecisive person. I stumbled upon a video talking about self-sabotage that I ignored but over the next couple of weeks that word kept coming back to me so I decided to explore the concept and guess what I found out— I am a self sabatour. In this episode we will be defining and discussing sabotage and its effects on yourself and your relationship, how to recognize sabotage in your relationship, and tips and advice to work through it. Podcast Mentions Free Workshop on Communication: Click Here! Magic Mind:⁠ Use The Code "blackmarriage20" for 50% off⁠ Sabotage Resources MedCircle: 2 Unexpected Ways to Heal Self Sabotage MedCircle: Turn Self Sabotage Into Self Improvement Therapy Resources Therapy for Black Men: ⁠Find a Therapist⁠ Therapy for Black Girls: ⁠Find a Therapist⁠ BetterHelp: ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/⁠ TalkSpace: ⁠https://www.talkspace.com/⁠ CBT Thought Diary: ⁠https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/⁠ Libby Audiobook Library: ⁠https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In this episode, we welcome Schelo, a seasoned finance expert and CEO of Black Women Invest. With 8+ years of industry experience, Schelo has cultivated a community of over 13 thousand women, all united in their quest to learn about investing and wealth building. Having recently celebrated her marriage, Schelo brings a unique insight into financial dynamics within relationships. In this episode, we explore the nuances of prenups, tackle debt management, uncover the path to financial togetherness, and even suggest creative financial date night ideas. From understanding modern perspectives on money matters to gaining essential insights into successful financial partnerships, this episode promises valuable takeaways. Subscribe, tune in, and transform your understanding of finances within relationships.  Podcast Mentions Share your Opinion on Relationships: Survey Link Magic Mind: Use The Code "blackmarriage20" for 50% off Connect with Schelo:  Instagram: @blackwomeninvest_    @investwithschelo Facebook Group: BWI Facebook Group w/ Over 13.3K Members Website: BWI- Chapters, Brunch, and More Podcast Stats Statistics on Debt: Experian Statistics on Marriage By Age over Time: Pew Research Therapy Resources Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

A marriage without faith is not sustainable. I know that is a politically charged statement for some but hear us out. We have been on both sides of the spectrum where we have done it without God, and we've done it with God and we have found that our relationship has thrived and grown in ways we could have never imagined because we put Christ at the center of our relationship. In this episode, we want to discuss specific cultural topics that affect the way people see relationships and the reasons why people don't want to add faith to their relationships. Things such as abuse in relationships, infidelity, divorce, purity culture etc. We also talk about our specific experience, the then and the now, and of course we end with lots of tips and advice for those of you who are walking the walk of faith in marriage.  Podcast Mentions Sheila Wray Gregoire Books on Purity Culture: Click Here Support our Podcast: Click Here Theology in the Raw:  Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Sulonda, the communication coach, draws from her upbringing in a large family to offer a fresh perspective on relationships. In today's episode, she tackles the changing face of masculinity, identifying roadblocks and finding solutions, balancing work, love, personal growth, etc. Ultimately, Solanda's initiatives aim to create happier, more peaceful relationships by prioritizing humor, self-understanding, and quality time. Join us as we gain insights from the mind of a communication master/ninja and learn gems

Did you know that 69% of arguments or conflicts in a relationship go unresolved and this comes from the world-renowned marriage and family therapist John Gottman. Junior and I recently found ourselves in one of these conflicts that just seem to not have a resolution. In this episode, we want to take you through this raw recent conversation that Junior and I had to give you insight into what communication in a relationship looks like. Oftentimes communication is a dance it is forever moving and changing, it is very dynamic so in this episode we're going to walk through some of our recent issues and how our communication around this conflict evolved. We learned a lot from this encounter so we want to share that with you as well. Podcast Mentions Online Course Enrollment: Click Here Our Facebook Group: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Join us for an exciting and candid episode as Chris Matthews (who has worked in the field of counseling and human services for 18years) and Junior Smith engage in an open dialogue about men's responsibility in marriage. In this thought-provoking conversation, they delve into the challenges of communication, (for both men and women), discuss what man should do if he feels like cheating, when he is feeling insecure financially, the purpose of marriage for men and so much more! This episode offers a lot of gems y'all (including the unique perspective of two honest men openly discussing men's responsibilities!) Men (and ladies too if you want to) tune in to gain practical insights and actionable advice to strengthen your relationships today! As always, if you feel led, you can Support this podcast with a small monthly donation to help sustain future episodes. Your monthly contribution can be $0.99, $4.99 or even $9.99 per month. If you choose to do so click the Support us link in the show notes below and know that, we are truly grateful for your generosity, and thank you for supporting us as we fully walk into God's work for our lives. We will continue to pour out as he continues to give. Podcast Mentions Support our Podcast: Click Here Online Course Enrollment: Click Here Our Facebook Group: Click Here Chris A. Matthews Website : Click Here Marriage Underdogs: A Man's Journey to Matrimony: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Sometimes the challenges that you face in your relationship do not come from within but stem from external factors that may be out of your control. During this time your relationship may be tested and all the things you have been working on or not working on will have an opportunity to be revealed. In this episode, I want to share with you all our experiences, our mistakes, and the valuable lessons we've learned along the way. We'll dive into how we've managed to stay united and defend our relationship against the raging storm outside Podcast Mentions Online Course Enrollment: Click Here Our Facebook Group: Click Here Forbes: Hard Times Make For Stronger Bonds And Greater Happiness Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

When I first got married, I was immovable in my stance on cheating. I remember looking into my husband's eyes and saying, "If you ever cheat on me, I will divorce you." It felt like the highest standard I could set for myself because I didnt know any better. I used it as a non-negotiable dealbreaker that safeguarded my heart. Over time my perspective on infidelity started to change. I was maturing on a personal level and our relationship was maturing as well. The once rigid boundaries I had set for myself around cheating began to blur. I had to ask myself again if I was cheated on would I really divorce my husband? And in that question, I began to unravel the nuances and complexities that come with the conversation on cheating. In this episode, we will discuss what experts say about infidelity, my experiences and what I have learned from them, and how to communicate about cheating in your relationship How to Communicate about Cheating in Your Relationship Here are some suggestions on how to preemptively discuss cheating with your partner: 1. Choose the Right Time and Setting 2. Approach with Compassion 3. Share Your Views and Expectations 4. Encourage Open Communication 5. Discuss Relationship Needs 6. Address Triggers and Boundaries 7. Talk About Trust and Transparency 8. Seek Professional Guidance if Needed Remember, discussing cheating preemptively is not about assuming the worst or accusing your partner. It's about building trust, fostering open communication, and aligning your expectations to ensure a strong foundation for your relationship. Podcast Mentions Esther Perel Book: The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Esther Perel Ted Talk:  Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved The reason why People Cheat: Click here for the Article! Cheating in Relationships Statistics: Click here for the Article! Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In this episode, we answer questions we received from our Instagram and TikTok page @blackmarriage therapy. If you have been enjoying the content please follow us on Instagram @blackmarriagetherapy, rate us on your podcast platform, and share your favorite episode with a friend. If you would like to continue the conversation please join our Facebook group Black Marriage Therapy. There we share and discuss marriage topics to support and encourage one another on our relationship journey Podcast Mentions Our Facebook Group: Click Here Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Arguing about money early in a relationship has been found to be the No. 1 predictor of whether a couple gets divorced. What is it about money that makes its effects so potent to a relationship? What I have found in my research and experience is that although a lack of money can be an issue by itself most often it is the stress and tension that comes from money issues that can strongly affect a couple. In this episode we discuss your personal relationship with money, how money affects your relationship positively or negatively, tips and advice on how to address money in the relationship, and as a bonus I would like to address prenups and other financial structures in relationships. Podcast Mentions Reasons for Divorce (Financial): Research Top 6 Marriage-Killing Money Issues:  CLICK HERE 7 Money Issues That Can Lead To Divorce: CLICK HERE Transforming Your Relationship With Money: CLICK HERE What Your Relationship with Money Reveals About You: CLICK HERE Forbes, What Is Your Relationship With Money?: CLICK HERE How Does Money Affect Relationships? 3 Tips for Money Conflicts:  CLICK HERE Financial Vision, Setting (Realistic) Financial Goals As a Married Couple: CLICK HERE Why Didn't They Teach Me This in School?: 99 Personal Money Management Principles to Live By: Amazon Link Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

It takes a village to raise a marriage. I heard a friend of mine Margert say recently on her podcast that it takes a village to raise a woman and I thought that nothing could be more true. As I started to think about that phrase I realized that this statement was true for so many facets of life including marriage. I thought and considered the village that surrounded my marriage over the course of these 10 years and honestly it hasn't always been good but when it was it was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. In this episode, I want to discuss how you and your partner can get on the same page about friends, the different types of friendships, how to spot the positive, negative, and toxic people around you, and the key to having community and protecting your relationship.  Podcast Mentions BMT Facebook Group: Click Here to Join! Margarets Podcast that inspired this Episode: The Everyday Woman Speaks Marriage and Friends: What to Do When Friends are Hurting Your Marriage List of Toxic Friend Traits:  How Friends Destroy Marriages & Signs You Should Look Out For List of Good Friend Traits: 10 Signs of A Good Friend Example of Boundaries: Healthy Marriage Boundaries With Friends: 7 Best Examples Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

For the first time in my marriage, I am not putting my needs on the back burner and it feels weird. For the majority of our marriage, I have always put the needs of my relationship over my own. Junior never asked me to do this and for the majority of the time I had no idea that I was not attending to my needs. I ask myself questions like is this a need or a want? Is it the junior's responsibility to fulfill my needs or my own? Is it fair to not meet his needs to take care of my own? In a marriage, if two people are in need who needs to take precedence and why? What do I do if my needs aren't being met? In this episode, I would love to share with you what I have learned so far on needs wants, and desires, what experts say on this topic, and tips and advice that may help you dance the dance between your needs and wants and your spouses. Podcast Mentions Healthline: Emotional Needs John Gottman:  Why You Need to Accept Your Partner's Needs Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

For a long time, sex from a man's perspective has been shrouded in mystery.  When discussing sex from a man's perspective it seems to be only one view, Men NEED it and need it OFTEN, but over the years I have found that there are layers to the man's experience with sex in marriage. In season 1 episode 18, I discussed 5 things that transformed our sex life from my perspective.  So, in this episode, I gave my husband Junior a chance to share his perspective on sex in marriage and give us some things he feels transformed our sex life over the years.  Podcast Mentions Free Digital Books: Z-Library Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

Even when intentionally trying not to be busy we still end up with things on our plate that must be done in order for our lives to keep moving forward. Here is the real picture, a part of marriage is repetition. Things that happen over and over again are not a bad thing, this monotony can bring a sense of security to a safe place that you call home however on the other end of tedium is where romance can die. In this episode, I dive into the importance of quality time, common hindrances and their consequences, and advice and tips to help marriages sustain through busy seasons. Podcast Mentions Marriage.com: Reasons for Quality Time Pew Research: Dating and Relationships in the Digital Age John Gottman: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love 5 Love Langagauge: Gary Chapman 5 Love Languages Quiz Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

I used to think that my husband could not handle confrontational emotional conversations. When we would have serious disagreements he seem to retreat internally and offer shallow explanations of how he was feeling. What I found is that my approach to these conflicts was affecting his ability to safely communicate his displeasure with me. In a relationship, you will have disagreements, miscommunications, squabbles, arguments, and other various forms of disputes. However, a relationship in constant marital conflict is often walking down a path that leads to marital dissatisfaction and divorce. Conflict in itself is not the issue, instead, it is our response to conflict that dramatically or subtly affects our relationships. This is something that I have decided to intentionally work on this year and in subsequent years. In this episode, I hope to give you new insight into conflict and its meaning, why conflict resolution/management is significant in relationships, and how to resolve issues and come back into realignment as a couple. Podcast Mentions Resolution for Destructive Conflict Response Style:5 Steps to Fight Better Marital Conflict Research: Marital Conflict Behaviors and Implications John Gottman: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library (Free): https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Hoopla Digital Library (Free): Hoopla --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

This episode is dedicated to a good man Ramces Noel or as he was known to me and many others, Mr. Noel. Mr. Noel, I will miss you and your bright warm smile that the angels in heaven get to enjoy now. I realized that being a good man is often taken for granted but what you have shown me and taught me through your life is that greatness is easy but to be good is difficult and takes intentionality and consistency and it is that goodness that makes a man great. I love you and I miss you. To Ms. Noel, David, Jeff, Makisha, and Anderson I love you and stand with you as you rediscover your life in absence of Mr. noel's physical presence and find strength from his spiritual presence that walks with you every step of the way. So this episode is dedicated to a good man, Mr. Noel. His life and his legacy have inspired me to talk about grief and how it affects marriage. Podcast Mentions Brene Brown: Author Website Atlas of the Heart: Book Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

The first time my husband and I had sex it was surreal. I enjoyed connecting with the person I loved on a deeper physical level. However, the morning after I couldn't help but feel guilty and confused. My mom left education about sex up to the church and the message I received was that sex is for men, my body is not my own and my job is to bring pleasure to my husband, that sex is a sin, your desires are a sin, being attracted to others is a sin and that if you slip up and have sex before marriage mind as well book a first-class ticket to hell because your life is over. Now that I have been married for 10 years and have experienced sex in many different facets I have grown so much from where I initially started. I understand that everyone's story of sex may not be like mine but I would love to share what I have learned since then that has really helped me make sex the sensual, joyful, sometimes hilarious pleasurable experience that it should be. So in today's episode, we will be discussing 5 things that I have learned about sex that have transformed my sex life. Podcast Mentions Kevin and Melissa Fredricks: Marriage Be Hard! Book Marriage.com: Sexual Coercion Free Digital Books: Z-Library Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/

I used to think that I was a stoic person who often had my emotions under control. I felt that emotions only got in the way of accomplishment and success. For a while, this mindset worked for me and helped to get through difficult moments but as I began to mature and as my relationship with junior began to deepen I came to find out that my lack of access to my emotions was negatively affecting my marriage, my relationship with others and my relationship with myself. In this episode, we discuss your relationship with emotions, how your emotions affect communication, and how to better your relationship with your emotions Podcast Mentions Brene Brown: Author Website Book: Atlas of the Heart: Brene Brown Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library

Are you thinking of getting married but fear that you may not be successful because you didnt have a good example? Maybe you had no example at all, a negative one, or you saw marriage but it wasn't a healthy marriage. If you want to build a marriage and feel that your toolbox is empty or you have the wrong tools it is still possible to be successful in marriage and have a healthy long-lasting relationship. In this episode, Junior and I discuss non-examples of marriage, our positive and negative examples, the importance of role models, and tips that can help you pursue marriage despite the absence of role models. Podcast Mentions Black Love Doc: Black Love Show John Gottman: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Brene Brown: Author Website Tim Keller: The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God Kevin and Melissa Fredricks: Marriage be Hard Beleaf in Fatherhood: How Married Are You? Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ Z-Library: Digital Library

What should I do when the person I love is struggling with their mental health? What happens when the person I have decided to spend the rest of my life with is struggling with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, eating disorder, or PTSD? Can I still love them if they may not be able to fully love me? If you are in this situation you may have asked yourself some of these questions or are in agony trying to decide how to move forward in your relationship. Well, you are not alone. About 1 in 5 people suffer from a mental illness, and for many individuals that 1 is their spouse. In this episode, we discuss signs that your spouse might have a mental illness, emotional and mental stressors, how to deal with mental illness in your relationship, self-care, and can your marriage survive a mental illness. Podcast Mentions La Guardia Cross: I almost Lost my Wife Lisa Canning: REAL TALK: How To Support A Spouse Suffering From Mental Illness Mark Lukach: How To Love Through Mental Illness Acenda Health: STARTING A MENTAL HEALTH DIALOGUE WITH YOUR PARTNER Bell Lets Talk: Supporting ourselves and each other Behavioral Health: A Guide for Helping a Spouse with a Mental Illness Free Digital Books: Z-Library Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

My husband and I's in-law story began with a fist fight, a screaming match, and lots of cold shoulders. Our romantic relationship started at the ripe age of 17 so when our families found out we were getting married a year later the reactions were interesting, to say the least. Looking back at the state of those relationships I would have never thought that we would be here 10 years later, a happy healthy family but I have learned through patience and consistency it is possible. So how do you go from me to we? In this episode we will discuss signs of a problem in-law or intrusive parent, leaving and cleaving, boundaries, and more tips Podcast Mentions Setting Boundaries in In-Law Relationships: Boundaries Libby Audiobook Library: Libby App: Free ebooks & audiobooks from your library | by OverDrive Free Digital Books: Z-Library BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

In the past what came to my mind when I thought of toxic relationships were relationships that involved physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional abuse. Over time and from personal experiences what I have learned is that toxicity comes in many different forms shapes and sizes. The forms of abuse I mentioned before are most certainly examples of toxic relationships but often times we may unknowingly ignore other traits that may present as normal but are in fact toxic. In this episode, we will discuss what a toxic relationship is, power and control, toxic tendencies and trauma, and what to do if your marriage/relationship is toxic. Podcast Mentions Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233) Viola Davis, Finding Me: Amazon Link to Book Trevor Noah, Born a Crime: Amazon Link to Book Will Smith, Will: Amazon Link to Book What is a Toxic Relationship?: Verywell Mind Libby Audiobook Library: Libby App: Free ebooks & audiobooks from your library | by OverDrive Free Digital Books: Z-Library BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

When we think of the word negotiation most individuals would think of the court of law or the corporate board room. However, you rarely hear the word negotiation in the context of marriage. Often times when people hear of negotiations in marriage it's too late. The sad reality is that couples don't learn the art of negotiation until they are in divorce court contemptuously divvying their assets and children. Negotiating in marriage may seem like a cold pragmatic relationship that is lacking in romantic love. But the opposite is true. In this episode, we will discuss what negotiation is NOT, what it is, barriers to effective negotiation, and how to negotiate in marriage. Podcast Mentions Marriage Builders: Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. Website He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation: Amazon Link to Book The Policy of Joint Agreement: POJA Couples Institute: Super Negotiating for Couples Psychology Today: The Right Way to Negotiate With Your Partner | Psychology Today Study: Bargaining Behind the Scenes: Spousal Negotiation, Labor, and Work–Family Burnout - Beth A. Livingston, 2014 Libby Audiobook Library: Libby App: Free ebooks & audiobooks from your library | by OverDrive Free Digital Books: Z-Library BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/blackmarriagetherapy/support

The American psychologist Donald Meichenbaum claims that we are all “storytellers” and that we should be aware of the stories we tell ourselves and others. Some people might see themselves as “prisoners of the past” or as “stubborn victims.” These phrases are not idle metaphors; they are the organizing schemas that color the ways individuals view themselves, their world, and their future. In this episode, we will discuss the ABCs of thought, how our thoughts affect our marriage, and warning signs and tips. Podcast Mentions Dr. Brene Brown: Dr. Brene Brown Info Rising Strong: Amazon Link to Book Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/