Mother Mayhem: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for Daughters

In today's episode of Mother Mayhem, we dive deep into the process of healing from narcissistic abuse and I offer insight into how daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers can begin to trust themselves and find joy in their lives again.If you've struggled to feel safe in your body, or have a hard time trusting yourself after years of emotional neglect or narcissistic manipulation, this episode is for you. I walk you through  the three key pillars of healing: nervous system safety, emotional processing, and self-trust.Key topics covered in this episode:Understanding the role of the nervous system in healing from traumaHow to process your emotions safely and without fear of being overwhelmedThe importance of self-trust in healing and how to start rebuilding itLearning to embrace vulnerability and enjoy life despite your past traumaWhy healing from narcissistic abuse isn't a one-time fix but a continuous journey of self-compassion and growthGrief as a part of healing: How it helps us let go of the pastReclaiming joy and learning to connect with others around you without fear of being hurt againWant to feel more supported on your healing journey? Join Mayhem Daughters, our online community for DaughtersBring it to TUESDAY GROUPBring it to THURSDAY GROUPFind me at: Heather@DaughtersNPD.com to get more information or share your story.Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

Welcome to Mother Mayhem, the podcast for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers. In today's episode, we dive into one of the most common struggles many daughters face: questioning whether their childhood trauma and mother wound "count."If you've ever found yourself wondering, "Am I overreacting?" or "Is my experience really trauma?" this episode is for you. Whether you've been dealing with emotional neglect, narcissistic manipulation, or toxic family dynamics, it's common to doubt the validity of your feelings.In this episode, we explore:The struggle of self-doubt: How trauma brain and wise mind are often at odds, leaving you stuck in a loop of questioning whether your experiences are “bad enough” to be considered trauma.The shame spiral: Why you may feel guilty or ashamed for even acknowledging the pain of your mother wound, and how this internal conflict can keep you stuck in emotional turmoil.Understanding narcissistic abuse: How narcissistic mothers and emotionally limited parents create environments where their daughters question their reality and invalidate their feelings.Practical tips for breaking the cycle: Tools and strategies to help you navigate the tension between your trauma brain and wise mind, so you can start validating your own experiences and reclaiming your peace.If you're wondering whether your trauma “counts” or if you feel like you've been stuck in a cycle of doubt and guilt, this episode will help you understand why—and more importantly, how to break free.Resources mentioned in the episode:Tuesday GroupThursday GroupMayhem DaughtersSimple Scripts for Saying Hard ThingsSupport the Show: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or share it with someone who might benefit. Your support helps the show reach more daughters in need of community and healing.

What happens when healing from trauma starts to change everything—your identity, your relationships, even your marriage?In this episode of Mother Mayhem, I read a powerful letter from a daughter who has done the work to heal… and now finds herself in a life that no longer fits.She's changed. Her needs have changed. But her marriage hasn't—and now she's wondering: What do I do with the life I built before I healed?This episode reflects on the cost of becoming your true self after narcissistic abuse or emotional neglect—especially when trauma recovery brings clarity, grief, and new truths that are impossible to ignore.You'll hear themes around:Healing from trauma and mother woundsIdentity shifts in long-term relationshipsWhat daughters of narcissistic mothers learn to tolerateThe difference between repair and real healingWhy self-trust can feel like betrayalHow shame keeps us from taking up space in our own livesWhether you're rethinking your relationship, your career, or your place in the world, this episode will meet you right where you are—and remind you: you're not alone, and you don't have to abandon yourself to keep the peace.Join the Mayhem Daughters communityTuesday Group Thursday Group Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard ThingsSubscribe, rate, and share with someone who needs it. Your healing is valid. Your needs are allowed. Your story matters.

This week, we tackle a situation you daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers know all too well: how to respond when your mothers emotionally manipulate and use guilt to control you. Today, we're breaking down the difference between guilt and shame—how guilt, in its healthiest form, can help you improve yourselves, while shame distorts your sense of self-worth and keeps you  stuck in unhealthy patterns. Narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers excel at cultivating this shame, making it incredibly difficult for you daughters to set boundaries and honor your own feelings.This episode explores the trauma responses that daughters of narcissistic mothers often experience—particularly the internalized guilt and shame that cloud judgment, lead to second-guessing, and prevent healingIn This Episode, You'll Learn:The difference between guilt and shame, and how they show up in relationships with narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers.Why narcissistic mothers use shame to manipulate their children and how it can impact self-worth.Practical steps for recognizing emotional manipulation and setting healthy boundaries.The importance of retraining your nervous system to see the difference between healthy boundaries and emotional manipulation.How healing isn't about perfection—it's about progress and taking care of your emotional needs, one step at a time.Join the Community:If you are ready to stop carrying the weight of emotional manipulation and start setting boundaries that honor your peace, come join us in Tuesday Group or Thursday Group . Each week, daughters from all over the world meet in these groups to share, heal, and support each other through their unique journeys.You can also find healing and connection in Mayhem Daughters, our private online community where women come together to reclaim their voices and find support in navigating life after narcissistic abuse.Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard ThingsRemember, healing is a process, and it's okay to take it one day at a time. You are seen, you are heard, and most importantly, you are not alone.

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, join me as one daughter walks you through her path toward lower contact with narcissistic parents. Many of you have reached out asking for advice on how to manage relationships with abusive parents, especially when considering lower or no contact, and in this episode, we dig into the real-life process of making that shift.It's not an easy decision, and it's certainly not something that happens overnight. Trauma brain, emotional conditioning, and the weight of years of dysfunctional family dynamics can make it feel impossible. But her journey proves that taking it one day at a time is not only possible, it's how we start to reclaim our emotional safety and peace.In this episode, you'll hear:The steps to take it one day at a time when considering lower contact with narcissistic or emotionally limited parentsHow to trust your nervous system in making decisions that prioritize your well-beingReal talk about the difficult emotions that come with setting boundaries with toxic parentsA daughter's personal story of healing and choosing herself despite the pain of family rejectionWhether you're considering going lower contact, have already made that decision, or are simply exploring what that might look like, this episode is for you. Setting boundaries with toxic parents is never easy, but our daughter's story will remind you that you are not alone, and that taking small steps toward healing and self-protection can make all the difference.Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time, effort, and the courage to trust yourself and your decisions. You have the right to protect your peace, and you have the right to choose what's best for you—no matter how difficult it may feel in the moment.Resources mentioned in the episode:Mayhem Daughters - Join our community for ongoing support and guidance as you navigate your healing journey.Therapeutic Support Options :Tuesday GroupThursday Group WaitlistSimple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we dive deep into the emotional triggers that often surface during trauma recovery—specifically anger, jealousy, and rejection. As daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers, these emotions can feel overwhelming, but they're not just random feelings—they are powerful tools that can guide your healing process.We talk about why anger is not only valid but crucial in the recovery process, serving as a signal that something is wrong and that boundaries have been crossed. You'll learn how jealousy often appears as a sign of unmet desires and needs, and why rejection can tap into old wounds, making it feel like a personal failure, even when it's not about you at all.Understanding and working with these emotions is a key part of reclaiming your peace, setting healthy boundaries, and growing in your recovery from narcissistic abuse. This episode is for anyone who's been overwhelmed by these feelings and wants to understand how they fit into the larger healing process.In this episode, we discuss:How anger is a tool in trauma recovery and why it's a sign that something needs to change.The role of jealousy in healing, and what it reveals about your desires and unmet needs.Why rejection feels so painful, especially when it mirrors the neglect and emotional abandonment from your past.How to start recognizing emotional triggers as cues for setting healthier boundaries.Why feeling these emotions is a necessary part of healing, and how they can help you create a life that honors you.Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Mayhem Daughters – A supportive, trauma-informed community for daughters of narcissistic mothers. Tuesday Group – Join our weekly peer support group where we explore healing, emotional safety, and recovery together. [Join the Tuesday Group here] (insert link)Thursday Group Waitlist: If you are interested in joining our Thursday Evening Group for DaughtersIf you've been struggling with jealousy, anger, or rejection in your healing journey, this episode will help you make sense of those emotions and reclaim your sense of self. Remember, these emotions are signals—not obstacles—and understanding them can empower you to set stronger, healthier boundaries in your life.Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the show! Your support helps us reach more daughters who need to hear that healing is possible.

In this powerful episode of Mother Mayhem, you'll hear the story of a brave Mayhem Daughter who has been a regular in our Tuesday Group. While we can't take credit for all that she has overcome, we are incredibly proud to be part of her healing journey.This daughter shares her raw and transformative experience of growing up with a narcissistic mother. Her story highlights the complexity of surviving emotional, psychological, and physical abuse and the long road to healing. In her words, she reveals how she faced betrayal, neglect, and manipulation by the person who should have been her protector.Join us as we dive into the reality of narcissistic abuse, how it shapes our sense of self, and the immense strength it takes to choose healing. This episode is not just about survival, but about reclaiming one's life on their own terms. You'll gain insights into how to navigate your own healing path, and how community support can play a pivotal role in your journey toward reclaiming your power.In this episode, we discuss:How narcissistic abuse impacts a daughter's sense of self and relationships.The emotional and psychological toll of growing up with a narcissistic and emotionally unavailable mother.Why the word resilience can often minimize the deep unfairness of surviving abuse.How to honor your healing journey, even when it feels like an uphill battle.The importance of finding a supportive community to help you heal and grow.Links mentioned in this episode:Tuesday Group: A weekly support group for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers.Thursday Evening Group Waitlist: For East Coast listeners and others who prefer an evening group.Mayhem Daughters: Join our trauma-informed, healing community.Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

In today's episode of Mother Mayhem, we explore how to navigate a relationship with your narcissistic or emotionally limited mother when you haven't decided whether to go no or low contact. This conversation brings up so many emotions, from guilt and confusion to anger and sadness, and it's important to recognize that healing and decision-making around these relationships are complex and deeply personal.In this episode, we discuss:How to manage feelings of guilt, obligation, and self-doubt during this processPractical strategies for setting boundaries The importance of trusting yourself and listening to your needs while navigating these challenging relationshipsIf you're ready for more support:Join Tuesday Group: Our weekly support group for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers.Sign Up for Mayhem Daughters: A private, online community offering a safe space for healing and connection with others who understand your experience.Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

If you grew up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, you learned to survive in an environment where love was conditional and your worth was tied to how much you gave. So when you met him—the charming, attentive, affectionate man who made you feel seen—it didn't feel dangerous. It felt like love. Like finally being chosen.But over time, the warmth faded. The pressure grew. No matter how much you gave, it was never enough. And maybe, just maybe, you started to wonder if you were the problem.Here's the truth: you didn't attract this. You didn't cause this. Your need to be loved was never the issue. But he? He was never going to be satisfied.You don't have to keep playing this game. You get to name it. You get to heal. Join Mayhem Daughters, our online therapeutic community for DaughtersJoin Tuesday Group: Our weekly therapy support group for Daughters that happens each week from 12-1:30 PSTAlso mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

What does healing actually look like when you've grown up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother? In this episode, follow a daughter for a month as she takes you inside her daily experience of being a daughter—navigating triggers, small (but powerful) shifts, and the quiet work of untangling old patterns. From noticing what once went unseen to facing the deep ache of being mothered by someone who couldn't love you the way you deserved, this episode is a raw, real-time look at what it means to do this work.Want a space to process all of this with others who truly get it?Tuesday Group is our weekly peer support space where daughters come together to talk through the hard stuff, support each other, and move toward healing in a way that feels grounding and safe. Mayhem Daughters is our private online community built for daughters who want deeper connection, ongoing support, and a space that isn't social media. Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

If you've ever struggled with disordered eating, food control, or feeling unsafe in your body because of food, you are not alone. And more importantly—it's not your fault. In this episode, we explore how childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and survival responses shape your relationship with food, your body, and your emotions.This isn't about willpower or discipline. It's about understanding why your nervous system treats food as a coping mechanism—and how to start healing.Together, we'll unpack:- Why trauma can rewire your relationship with food and make eating feel unsafe-Small, practical ways to start feeling safer in your body- Why acknowledging your emotions (instead of shutting them down) can change everythingThis episode offers clarity, and next steps—because healing isn't about fixing yourself. It's about understanding yourself.Looking for a community that gets it? Mayhem Daughters is a safe space for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. Join us here Need deeper support? Tuesday Group is a weekly space to process your experiences and connect in real time. Sign up here Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things If this episode resonated, please take a moment to leave a rating and review—it helps more daughters find the support they deserve.

By the time a daughter begins to see and name the impact of her mother wound, she has already endured so much more. It's never just the mother wound—it's the ripple effect. The way one trauma leaves you vulnerable to another. The way survival sometimes demands choices that come with their own kind of pain.In this episode, we talk about: The weight of cumulative trauma and how it shapes your nervous system Why the fear response around your mother feels so automatic—and how to disrupt it What it really means to stand in front of your mother without fear (hint: it's not about her at all) How to step out of survival mode and into your own powerTuesday Group is our weekly peer support group for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. We meet every Tuesday from 12-1:30 PM PST. Drop in when you need it. Sign up here.Mayhem Daughters is our private online community off social media. A space for real conversations, connection, and support. Also mentioned: Simple ScriptsWant to share your story?: Heather@DaughtersNPD.comIf this episode resonated with you, share it with another daughter who needs to hear it. And if you love the show, leaving a quick rating and review helps more daughters find us.

This week, we speak to the painful reality of having a mother who is emotionally limited. What does it really mean when your mom can't show up for you the way you need her to? How do you cope when you realize her emotional limitations are not just a phase but a core part of who she is?We explore the emotional impact of having a mother who doesn't have the tools to meet your needs, how this shows up in your life, and what it means for your relationship with her moving forward.I'll guide you through the process of accepting your mother for who she is—not who you hope she might be—and offer insight on how you can make empowered decisions for yourself and your well-being.In this episode, you'll learn:What it looks like when a mother is emotionally limited and why it's not something you can fixHow to manage your feelings of hurt and disappointment when your mother doesn't meet your needsWays to establish boundaries that protect your emotional healthHow to regain a sense of control and agency in your relationship with your motherResources:Tuesday Group:A supportive space for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers to explore challenges, share experiences, and build connection. We meet every Tuesday, and I'd love to have you join us!Mayhem Daughters: A private, off-social media community for daughters to connect, support each other, and heal together. You don't have to go through this alone.Also mentioned:Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

Narcissists thrive on attention, but it's not the kind of attention that leads to connection. Whether it's positive or negative, as long as they have your focus, they feel in control. It can be so confusing, especially when all you're trying to do is get through to them or set boundaries. But remember, your energy is precious, and it's okay to stop feeding into their need for it. If you're navigating this dynamic and wondering how to protect yourself while still trying to heal, you're not alone.Bring it to Group:Join us inTuesday Groupwhere daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers come together each week to find connection and support in a safe space. If you're ready to dive deeper and be part of a supportive community, come check outMayhem Daughters—where we work together to untangle the complexities of these relationships, so you can stop feeling stuck and start reclaiming your power.

No one tells you that healing isn't just about feeling better—it's about losing what no longer fits. The friendships, the coping mechanisms, the family dynamics that kept you small. And while that loss is necessary, it can also feel unbearably lonely.This week, you get to meet a Daughter  who has done the hard work—setting boundaries, letting go of toxic relationships, and showing up for herself in ways she never has before. But now, on the other side, she's feeling the deep loneliness that healing can bring. If you've ever felt the weight of healing and grief at the same time, I hope you feel seen and heard today.Question for the show?: Heather@DaughtersNPD.comYou can always bring it to group.Join Tuesday Group.JoinMayhem Daughters,our private online community for Daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers.Also mentioned:Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

In today's episode, we dive into one of the toughest questions many daughters of narcissistic mothers face: Do I need to hate my narcissistic mother in order to heal? It's a question that comes with a lot of layers—shame, guilt, anger, and confusion. But the truth is, healing doesn't have to be built on hatred or resentment. It's about finding your own path to peace and recognizing the power you have to move beyond the trauma. Whether you're struggling with the weight of your mother's behavior or wondering how to move forward in your own healing, this episode will help you reframe your relationship with your past and find new ways of looking at your future. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Mayhem Daughters – Join our supportive community of daughters who understand what you're going through. We continue the conversation after each episode and share our healing journeys together. Tuesday Group – If you're looking for a safe space to talk about these topics, gain support, and learn from others who've been there, my Tuesday Group is here for you. Question for the show? Heather@ DaughtersNPD.com

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we're talking about what it means to truly “feel your feelings” and how to start better connecting to yourself—and why it's more than just a cliché. For daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers, connecting with your emotions can feel overwhelming or even unsafe. But this process is essential to healing and finding a life of meaning and connection after the abuse. Join Our Community: Healing doesn't happen in isolation—it happens in connection. That's why I created Mayhem Daughters. We already believe you and you already belong. If you're ready to lean into support from others who understand your journey, you are welcome to join HERE. Want to go deeper? Bring it to Group. Join Tuesday Group Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things.

Setting boundaries with a difficult or emotionally limited mother can be one of the most challenging steps in your healing journey. The fear of pushback, guilt, or rejection often keeps us stuck in unhealthy dynamics. In this episode, I walk you through: Why setting boundaries feels so scary How to recognize the fear and navigate it with more confidence Practical tips to stand your ground while staying true to yourself You deserve relationships that respect your needs. Let's explore how to set boundaries without letting fear hold you back. Links mentioned in this episode: *** If you are on the Mayhem Daughters waitlist, check your email for your Founding Member rate** Didn't get on the list on time but want to join? Here's how: Mayhem Daughters, our online community it OPEN! Bring it to Group: Join Tuesday Group Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

Introducing Mayhem Daughters: A Healing Community for Daughters of Narcissistic & Emotionally Limited Mothers In this episode, I'm excited to introduce Mayhem Daughters, a private, online community designed specifically for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. If you've felt isolated in your healing journey, this space is built with you in mind. Mayhem Daughters is more than just another online group. It's a safe, trauma-informed community where you'll find connection, support, and the opportunity to heal alongside others who truly understand your experiences. We've created a password-protected space where you can share your story, receive support, and walk alongside other daughters who get it—without the overwhelm of trauma drama. In this episode, I walk you through: What Mayhem Daughters is and why it was created. The structure we've put in place to ensure a safe and supportive environment, including spaces like I Want to Be Heard and I Want to Be Helped. How being a founding member can give you access to special benefits, including a low monthly rate. Right now, we're building our group of founding members, and joining the waitlist is the only way to access the special rate of $19.99/month. There's no commitment required to join the waitlist—it just holds your spot while you decide if this feels like the right place for you. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, connection, and empowerment, join the waitlist today! Join the ⁠Mayhem Daughters Waitlist Tuesday Group more your thing? It isn't going anywhere. Sign up here.

In this episode, we explore how to build the empathy and care skills necessary to love and connect with those who love you—when your past hasn't shown you how. Growing up with emotional neglect or narcissistic parents can leave you unsure of how to nurture healthy, meaningful relationships. Learn how to shift from trauma-driven reactions to tender, loving responses that strengthen your connections. We'll cover: The impact of growing up with emotional neglect on your ability to connect How to build empathy when you've never been taught it Practical steps to show love and care for others, even if it feels challenging Join the Waitlist for Mayhem Daughters: An online healing community for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. Bring it To Group. Join Tuesday Group for Daughters: A weekly support group for daughters Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

As we close out 2024 and welcome in the new year, this episode focuses on building better relationships—with yourself and with others—while embracing healing through community and connection.  Learn practical skills to help you ground yourself, reflect on your relationship goals for 2025, and start nurturing healthier interactions.  Whether you're improving your relationship with yourself, looking to foster deeper connections, or healing from narcissistic abuse, this episode offers valuable tools and insights to guide you into the new year. Key Topics: Grounding techniques for emotional regulation  Reflecting on your relationship goals for 2025 Introducing an intentional healing community for daughters beyond social media Join the Waitlist for Mayhem Daughters: An online healing community for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. Bring it To Group: Join Tuesday group, a weekly peer support group for daughters. Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

This morning, as much of the world unwraps gifts and celebrates, I wanted to bring you a special message of love and care. For many daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers, the holidays can be complicated. Wherever and however you find yourselves today or in the days after, remember you belong here. All of you are in this community of women around the world who are navigating days like this and I, for sure, most definitely am in it with you, too. Bring it Tuesday Group for weekly encouragement and connection. Grab your spot on the Mayhem Daughters Community Waitlist Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things Wishing you a day filled with self-compassion and peace. With love,Heather (& Clark!)

Today, we're talking about the impact of growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, particularly around the expectations that were set for you — expectations that often left you feeling like you were never enough or constantly falling short. If you've been holding yourself to standards that don't belong to you, this episode will help you recognize and release those old beliefs. I'll walk you through how to begin letting go of the pressure of living up to your mother's expectations and the path to reclaiming your own voice and your own values. Learn how to recognize when you are still operating under those old standards. Begin to trust your own needs, desires, and choices — without the weight of "shoulds" or guilt. Explore actionable steps to let go of perfectionism and reclaim your true self. Mentioned in This Episode: Bring it to Group – Join a weekly peer support group for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. Join the waitlist for our Mayhem Online Community.  Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

In this episode, we explore the deep impact of covert narcissism and enmeshment on our sense of self-worth, boundaries, and relationships. If you've ever felt unworthy, insecure, or lost in roles that don't feel like your own, this conversation is for you. We dive into how these toxic dynamics can blur boundaries and disconnect us from our authentic selves, and how to begin reclaiming your worth. Learn how to set healthy boundaries, heal from emotional manipulation, and trust yourself again. Topics covered: Covert narcissism and enmeshment explained How these dynamics affect your self-worth and boundaries Practical steps to reclaim your true self Healing from trauma and finding self-empowerment Resources mentioned: Who Am I After Trauma Journaling Prompts Bring it To Group: Join Tuesday Group Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

This episode is designed for daughters who are healing from narcissistic abuse, and I'm also inviting the loved ones of daughters to listen in, so you can better understand the struggles your loved one is facing and how to offer compassionate, effective support. In this episode, I'm diving deep into the healing journey for daughters of narcissistic mothers—while also addressing the unique challenges faced by the people who love and support them. Whether you're a daughter navigating the complexities of healing or a supporter trying to understand how to show up in a way that truly helps, this episode is for you. I'll be talking about how loved ones can show up with compassion and empathy, while still taking care of their own emotional needs. Key topics include: Understanding narcissistic abuse and its long-lasting effects on daughters How supporters can offer meaningful support without enabling Why self-care and boundaries are crucial for both daughters and their supporters Practical tips for navigating tough conversations between daughters and their supporters Whether you're a daughter currently on your healing journey, or a loved one wanting to understand how best to be there for her, this episode offers insights, strategies, and encouragement to help both sides. Bring it To Group: Tuesday Group for Daughters Get my Two Cents: Mayhem Consultation Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

In today's episode, we're diving into the complex link between social anxiety and childhood trauma. If you've ever felt that the world of connection feels both deeply desired and overwhelmingly terrifying, you're not alone. We're unpacking why social anxiety can often feel like it's rooted in a personal flaw but is, in reality, a protective response shaped by early experiences. Consider joining us for Tuesday Group. (YES! YOU! REALLY!) Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

Sometimes, in your effort to heal and understand everything that has happened to you, healing takes over, overwhelms, causes you to flood and risks you becoming too much for the people who love you. Healing, well, it's a lot and we don't like to talk about this part. Healing is often portrayed as a smooth journey, but the reality can be quite different. We discuss how intense emotions can surface and how they impact our relationships with others, especially when we feel overwhelmed. Join us as we explore: Healing requires patience and self-compassion; it's okay to take up space in your healing journey. Open, transparent communication is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships while navigating your healing process. You don't have to do it alone. Join Tuesday Group. Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things.

This week, we're returning to the complexities that come with healing from family estrangement. We know the devastating impact of manipulative relationships with narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers. One of the hardest parts of this journey is acceptance and today, we're giving that our focus.  Acceptance paves the way for healing and there are strategies you can use to make this process easier. Join the Conversation: Consider this your standing invitation to join Tuesday Group If you want to share your Mayhem story, find me at: Heather@DaughtersNPD.com Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you enjoy the show! Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

This week, we're putting the spotlight on "Little t Trauma". We're talking about how seemingly minor comments from your mothers can accumulate over time, affecting your self-worth and impacting your emotional well-being. Little t traumas, or "papercuts," are not insignificant. Healing begins with recognition, boundary-setting, and reaffirming your self-worth.  Come find us in group Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

We're diving into triangulation—when your mother pulls you into conflicts and pits you against your father, siblings, or even extended family. If you've ever felt like you were caught in the middle, unsure of who to trust or what's real, listen in. We're talking about how narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers use triangulation to control and manipulate family dynamics, and more importantly, how you can start recognizing these toxic patterns and reclaim your truth.  In this episode, we cover: What triangulation is and how it shows up in family dynamics How to honor your truth and set healthy boundaries with your mother Practical examples of boundary-setting and self-validation Steps you can take today to start healing from these painful patterns If this resonates with you, and you're ready for more support, I'd love for you to join Tuesday Group, where Mayhem daughters come together to work through these exact challenges. You don't have to go through this alone—let's navigate it together. You can find more details and sign up through the link in the show notes. And here you go: Affirmations that Honor Your Truth Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

Today, we're talking about the complex and often unspoken experiences of those of you whose lives began with pain on the day they were born. Through a powerful listener story, we explore the impact of early trauma and the lasting effects it can have on your life.  We're talking about the importance of understanding and healing from these early wounds. Understanding Early Trauma: We unpack what it means to navigate life when your story begins with pain and how this shapes one's identity. The Freeze State: Discover what the freeze state is, how it manifests in daily life, and the importance of recognizing it in ourselves. Dissociation and Sensitivity: Learn about the common experiences of feeling disconnected and how sensitivity can influence interactions and self-perception. Don't forget to consider Tuesday Group for additional support in your healing journey. Mentioned in the show: Sarah Baldwin Coaching Sarah's You Make Sense Podcast on Apple Dr. Peter Levine Dr. Stephen Porges Also mentioned in the show: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things: Scripts that help you navigate the hard conversation you might encounter in life, love, or work.

The holidays are here again, with all their big feelings and challenges. Whether you're preparing for emotional manipulation or feeling the weight of grief, I'm here to support you. To help you plan for the holidays ahead, I revisit our conversation from last year's episode, "Mayhem and Mistletoe." Instead of repeating the same insights, I'm sharing this encore presentation to remind you of important strategies for creating a fulfilling holiday experience. Recommended Journal Reflection: As you begin to plan the holidays for yourselves this year, I encourage you to reflect on this as your first step:If you could create the perfect holiday for yourself, with all things being equal…after all, your mother is always going to be narcissistic, what is the holiday you would design for yourself? Who would you need to be to have that kind of holiday? What would you have to do to preserve that kind of holiday? Take your time with this prompt and create a clear picture of the holidays you wish to experience. This clarity will help you make decisions, communicate your needs, and set boundaries effectively. Remember, you're not alone in navigating this season. If you have questions unique to your holidays, send them in. I will cover them in future Friday chats from now until the holidays. Email me: Heather@DaughtersNPD.com If group support during this time sounds nice, here's the link to join.

This week on Mayhem, we dive deep into the journey of discovering, knowing, and owning your true self after childhoods marked by maternal neglect and abuse. I'm exploring with you what it means to live authentically and how to reconnect with the parts of yourself you may have lost in the wake of emotional neglect or people-pleasing patterns.  You'll learn how to break free from survival mode and start expressing your real personality, even when it's challenging.  Plus, don't miss the free PDF of journal prompts to help you explore your authentic self further.  If you're ready for more support, join Tuesday Group where we dive into these topics as a community.

If you're hurting, I'd really like to help. In this quick chat, I'm talking about the impact of childhood trauma and how we can navigate this journey together. You don't have to go it alone, and I want to share some ways we can connect more deeply. For Massachusetts residents: Therapy Inquiry Schedule a Mayhem Consultation Join Tuesday Group Email your questions or stories: Heather@DaughtersNPD.com

This week, we're diving deep into the heavy, but important, topic of shame. For many daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers, shame can feel like a constant companion, sneaking in when you least expect it and clouding your sense of self-worth. But shame doesn't have to define you. We'll explore why shame shows up, how it differs from guilt, and the damaging effects of a shame spiral. More importantly, I'll walk you through practical steps to interrupt the spiral. We'll challenge those negative thoughts, and begin the path toward self-compassion and healing. You'll learn how to connect to the truth that your worth is not determined by your mistakes or what anyone else thinks of you. Join the Conversation in Tuesday Group: If today's episode resonates and you're looking for a supportive space to explore these topics further, Tuesday Group is open for you. 

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, I dive into a topic that will hit home with a lot of you: dealing with mean girls in adulthood. Meet Thelma and Louise, who bring their own struggles with a mean girl to the table. I'll be talking about how the impact of narcissistic abuse can make encounters with bullies even more triggering and difficult to handle. You'll hear practical ways to navigate these relationships and how to reclaim your sense of self and empowerment with clear communication and firm boundaries.  If today's discussion hits home, remember that Tuesday Group is here to support you in processing these experiences and moving forward. We meet every Tuesday at noon PST, and you can find the link to join in the show notes.  Join a supportive community where you can talk through these challenges with others who get it. Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things, a resource I created to help you navigate the hard lessons in life, love, and work,

Today, we're talking about the hard lessons that come from abandoning ourselves to please others. I dig into what it means to be a "safe place" without losing yourself and how to love in healthy, full ways without neglecting your own needs. If you've struggled with boundaries or feel drained by being everyone's go-to, this episode is for you. Boundaries are key to having better relationships—with others and with yourself. Listen, reflect, and maybe start asking yourself some of these same questions. If you need help working through it, join Tuesday Group. Here's the link. Also mentioned: My May episode This is Me, All In, You can find it between episodes 45 and 46. Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things, a resource for tough conversations in life, love, or work.

This week, we dive into a painful and often unexpected aspect of dealing with a narcissistic mother: betrayal trauma. When your mom's smear campaign turns family and friends against you, the emotional fallout can be overwhelming. It's real and it's another trauma. Listen in to learn how to reclaim your sense of self amidst the chaos. If today's topic resonates with you, remember that you don't have to go through it alone. Join Tuesday Group, a supportive community where we navigate these challenges together. We meet every Tuesday at noon PST. Mentioned in the credits: ⁠Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things,⁠ a resource I created to help you manage the difficult conversations in life, love, and work.

In the second part of this difficult and vulnerable conversation, we're diving into two more of your most pressing parenting questions.  First, we'll explore how to pull yourself out of a shame spiral when you've made your child feel bad. Then, we'll tackle the challenge of managing your child's big feelings when those emotions trigger you and make you want to shut down. These are tough topics, but you don't have to navigate them alone.  If today's discussion resonates with you and you're looking for a space to connect with other daughters facing similar challenges, I'd love to invite you to join Tuesday group.  It's a welcoming drop-in group where we support each other through the ups and downs of recovery- including motherhood.  Here's the link to join—we'd love to have you with us. Mentioned in the credits: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things, a resource I created to help you manage the difficult conversations in life, love, and work.

This week, with the vulnerability of one listener sharing her story and questions in her own voice, we're tackling one of the most sensitive topics we can cover on the show—mothering when you are the daughter of an emotionally limited or narcissistic mother. We're talking about how the wounds from your own upbringing can impact your ability to nurture, set boundaries, and connect emotionally with your children. This is generational curse-breaking stuff, ladies. You'll gain insights and strategies to break the cycle and create healthy and loving environments for your kids.  And if you're feeling the need for more support as you navigate these challenges, I invite you to join our Tuesday Group.  It's a safe space where you can connect with other daughters, share your experiences, and find the support you need to continue healing.  JOIN HERE. Join us as we begin this important two-part discussion. Question for the show? Want my two cents on your parenting conundrum? Heather@DaughtersNPD.com| Mentioned in the credits: ⁠Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things,⁠ a resource I created to help you manage the difficult conversations in life, love, and work.

Today, we hear directly from a daughter, in her own words and in her own voice. We're diving into the challenges of grieving and healing from narcissistic abuse when going no contact isn't an option. Learn strategies for managing ongoing emotional pain and abuse while being financially dependent and feeling trapped by a narcissistic mother. Identify ways of healing, finding strength, and setting boundaries when your narcissistic mother is still in your life. This is a difficult path that requires you to meet yourselves with compassion. I hope you find some here, too. If you're looking for a supportive community to help navigate these challenges, consider joining our Tuesday Group. It's a space where you can connect with others who truly understand your journey and work together on building the strength and resilience needed to heal. Learn more and sign up.

Have time for a quick chat? I wanted to talk to you about a confusing but important part of trauma work: Navigating the distinction between trauma brain and wise mind.  In this mini episode, I am walking you through how to identify when trauma brain is taking over and how to reconnect with your wise mind for better decision-making and coping.  If you've ever struggled with knowing which voice to trust, I'm offering practical strategies to help you navigate the maze.  Friendly neighborhood reminder: This is hard stuff and you don't always have to figure it out alone. Consider this your standing invitation to join us for Tuesday Group. This is the kind of thing we will be talking about and figuring out together every week. Group is here to support you on your journey toward healing and self-trust.

Fawning is a common response for those who have experienced childhood narcissistic abuse. I'll review what it is, how it can show up in relationships, and how to address it. Then, we talk about how to stop attracting people who take advantage of your fawning tendencies. Listen in for practical strategies you can use to stop fawning behaviors and how to replace fawning with healthy boundaries. Learn to protect your mental health and emotional well-being. With tools, insights, and new strategies, you can break free from patterns that have held you back and kept you down for your whole life. If Mayhem has helped you in your narcissistic abuse recovery journey or if you appreciate the dedication and effort behind episodes like this one, consider becoming a sponsor. Support the show by purchasing Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things, a resource I created to help you navigate tough conversations in life, love, and work.

I'm excited to announce that registration is now open for Tuesday Group—a virtual peer support group specifically for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers. This group is designed to help you navigate challenges like low self-esteem, boundary-setting, people-pleasing, and decision-making in a safe and supportive community. Important Details: Open Group: Attend as often as your time and budget allow. When: Weekly on Tuesdays from 12-1:30 PM PST. Size: Each session is limited to 25 members to ensure a personal experience. Cost: $35 USD per session. *** We will start with 8 sessions to gauge interest and need for a group such as this. We'll focus on peer support, shared experiences, and practical strategies for healing, helping you feel more grounded, connected, and confident in your recovery journey. If you're ready to join a community of women who truly understand what you're going through, JOIN HERE. If you have any questions or concerns or need help deciding if group is for you, feel free to reach out to me directly at Heather@DaughtersNPD.com. I look forward to seeing you in group!

In this important episode of Mayhem, we dive into a difficult topic that daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers may encounter: Borderline Personality Disorder.   There is a complex interplay between the trauma of narcissistic parenting and its impact on your mental health. One daughter shares her BPD diagnosis. Listen in as I walk through the challenges, misconceptions, and stigma around this diagnosis and what it means for sufferers. It's my hope that you'll also hear the hope for recovery because it is possible. If you have gotten value from this show and have found that it has aided your own narcissistic abuse recovery, I invite you to become a sponsor of the show through your purchase of ⁠Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things⁠, a resource I created to give you the words for the hard conversations in life, love, and work.

Every week, I say it: You're in a community of women around the world who are in this with you. I am, too. Now, I am working to make this a little more true by building a group. I am hoping you'll come. Listen in to learn more. Stick around as I also share a personal story and some tips for managing your inner critic. Share your two cents about group and get on the waitlist here.

This week, we're talking about the struggles of the invisible daughter whose childhood household was dominated by a narcissistic mother.  Many daughters of narcissistic mothers learn to play it safe, stay in their lane, and become “vanilla” to avoid criticism and conflict. But living in the shadows comes at a high cost. Listen in for ways to reclaim your voice, take up space, and embrace being seen. If you have felt overshadowed or silenced by a narcissistic mother, this episode is for you. If you have gotten value from this show and have found that it has aided your own narcissistic abuse recovery, I invite you to become a sponsor of the show through your purchase of Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things, a resource I created to give you the words for the hard conversations in life, love, and work.

Too Long, Didn't Listen: I will be traveling for most of July and am pausing new Mayhem episodes until I return, on August 7th I have openings for your stories and questions upon my return. You can submit a voice recording or email your story to: Heather@DaughtersNPD.com If you do record yourself and your story, please record directly into your voice recording app without using headphones. Recording using bluetooth, earbuds, or headphones can make for bad podcast audio. If Mayhem has helped you in your recovery from childhood narcissistic abuse, consider supporting the show by purchasing ⁠⁠Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things⁠⁠. This resource provides sample scripts for tough conversations in life, love, and work. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mothermayhem/message

This week, we delve into the confusing reality of having a narcissistic mother that wasn't all bad. Many daughters grapple with the emotional confusion of having a mother who was both abusive and also the primary caregiver. Listen in as I work to help Melanie reconcile these mixed feelings, manage the disconnect between love and abuse, and find a path towards healing. This is the emotional roller coaster that comes with being the daughter of a narcissistic mother. If Mayhem has helped you in your recovery from childhood narcissistic abuse, consider supporting the show by purchasing ⁠⁠Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things⁠⁠. This resource provides sample scripts for tough conversations in life, love, and work. Question for the show? Heather@ DaughtersNPD.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mothermayhem/message

Soon after you realize your mom is a narcissist and that what you went through has a name, you can get overwhelmed in a flood of emotions, memories, and questions. Today, we meet Kimmy as she is working to get out from under the initial pile on of realizing that her mom has been abusing her her whole life. Listen in as I guide Kimmy on where to start and she begins her healing. I walk her through how she can begin to break free of the toxic patterns she has been trapped in her whole life. Follow along with the action steps I offer and join her on her recovery journey. If Mayhem has helped you in your recovery from childhood narcissistic abuse, consider supporting the show by purchasing ⁠Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things⁠. This resource provides sample scripts for tough conversations in life, love, and work. Question for the show? Heather@ DaughtersNPD.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mothermayhem/message

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we dive deep into the work of trauma recovery. Understanding that trauma work takes time is crucial for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers.  Trauma is not just an intellectual experience but one that affects your body, memory, and how you perceive the world.  Learn why you can't control what happened to you, but you can control your response to it. Discover how to connect your head and heart, recognize the lifelong impact of trauma, and identify your needs.  We're working together to turn pain into progress. If Mayhem has helped you in your recovery from childhood narcissistic abuse, consider supporting the show by purchasing Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things. This resource provides sample scripts for tough conversations in life, love, and work. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mothermayhem/message