Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

On this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Diana Bader and Becky Berry discuss putting ourselves first and equal to the needs of others.   When we forget to treat our needs as equal to the needs of others in our lives, we become stressed and frustrated. We prioritize their needs over our own and shortchange things like rest and relaxation. We also neglect enforcing our boundaries which puts on the highway to exhaustion.   Becky and Diana discuss the tricky areas of honoring our time and our money.   Diana reminds us that money is an exchange of energy. And it's easy to find ourselves in debt, overspending, or giving our money to others. When we're not mindful about money matters, we feel drained.   Becky shares her struggles with managing her calendar (aka her time). She forgets to do things like schedule enough times between clients and allow time for rest. When we overcommit by doing too many things or by not taking breaks, we can feel frustrated and overwhelmed.   Becky brings up a favorite Uniquely Brilliant discussion topic: Essentialism. She's reading another book relating to essentialism: 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. The concepts in the book echo the concepts of Essentialism: setting priorities, saying no, and enforcing boundaries.   Some tips on putting our needs first and equal:   Establish boundaries. When we set and enforce boundaries around the time we want to spend communicating with others or on social media, it helps us maintain our positive energy.   Ask for help. It's important to be bold when we ask for what we need. If we need to reschedule an appointment, ask for it. As Diana mentions, oftentimes we don't even know what our needs are and that's ok! When we figure them, it's okay (actually, it's critical) to put our needs at least equal to the needs of others in our lives.   Additional Uniquely Brilliant episodes on essentialism: Episode 130: Essentialism and Coronavirus https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/uniquelybrilliant/id/13999148   Episode 88: Essentialism https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/uniquelybrilliant/id/5585187 ©2022 Cronecast Podcast Network | Music ©2015 Max Brodie

On today's episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Diana Bader and Becky Berry discuss the March Slump.    Diana begins this episode by reminding us that two years ago at this time the whole world was shut down because of COVID, and our feeling that we're in a slump could be a trauma response.   The pandemic and the response to it are different now, but not completely different. Masks, boosters, quarantines - change constantly. Becky and Diana point out that everyone has a different comfort level with how to approach the world today. While Covid is still a big threat, Diana points out that there are equal threats to those who are immunocompromised that are rarely mentioned.    Becky points out that because of the strangeness of our last two Marchs plus  now, it's easy to lose our sense of agency. We can forget that we can impact our own lives by the choices that we make.    The unpredictability of the weather in March adds to the slump. The temperatures and weather are all over the place: it can be 80 degrees one day and snow the next day.    Diana and Becky share their strategies for maintaining their equilibrium. The overarching strategy is to go with the flow of the weather. Diana takes advantage of sunny weather by pursuing outdoor activities. When it's cold, she stays inside and cooks.    They also touch on the power of doing activities that soothe you. They go deeper into the power of soothing in Episode 146.    Full link to 146: https://uniquelybrilliant.libsyn.com/episode-146-soothe-yourself-by-grounding We can empower ourselves by: Picking our battles by choosing what we think about and focus on Looking our emotions in the face and accepting them and choosing whether to surrender to the current circumstance or rise above them Staying in the moment Distracting ourselves with something that makes us feel lighter - listening to music, watching tv, reading, or cooking Changing scenery - going outside, taking a drive, taking a walk   When we purposefully choose what we focus on, we feel a greater sense of agency. ©2022 Cronecast Podcast Network | Music ©2015 Max Brodie

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss ways to approach the smorgasbord that is life.   Diana starts by discussing her recent experience on a cruise where she learned cruises no longer put out smorgasbords of food like they did before COVID. She draws a parallel between choosing from a smorgasbord and choosing priorities and goals that allow us to enjoy the smorgasbord of life.    Becky brings this back to essentialism, since essentialism is about focusing on solely the things that are essential to our lives.    Additional episodes where Becky and Diana discuss Essentialism: Episode 88: Essentialism Episode 130: Essentialism and Coronavirus.    They also discuss the importance of delegating tasks so we aren't taking on everything that's thrown at us. Diana points out that in order to delegate, we must be able to relinquish control of the task. This also requires asking someone we trust to follow through with the task.   Becky shares her struggles with wanting to provide instant answers to everyone. She reminds us that we do not always have to answer questions immediately. It's critical to ask when someone needs an answer so we can figure out where the request fits in our priorities.    Diana and Becky observe that our priorities change throughout time. So, we may find that things we put on our plates even a year ago are no longer critical to us.   It is important to constantly query our options and evaluate what we can let go of that's not important to us and what we can delegate.   When we like something, it's okay to try it or taste it. And, if it's not to our taste, we don't have to do, wear, or consume it. We can think about our priorities, and choose to put it down.    Diana shares that many of the things she procrastinates on are frequently things she can turn over to someone else.   Becky and Diana wrap up by reminding us that it's okay to ask for help and stress that it's critical to our mental health to know when to ask for help. And, if the people we ask can't help us, we can ask them to refer us to someone who can.    ©2022 Cronecast Podcast Network | Music ©2015 Max Brodie          

Diana Bader and Becky Berry discuss examining our assumptions about rules. Their conversation is based on an article Becky read that reminded her to question the rules. In the article a therapist told a client who was struggling with depression and being able to do the things she wanted to get done on a daily basis that she could put her crusty, dirty dishes in the dishwasher and…wait for it…run it twice! Sometimes we assume things are hard and fast rules when they're not. Running the dishwasher twice is both energy and water efficient, while rinsing and scrubbing them by hand is not. Becky and Diana also discuss Diana's progress on tapping into her creativity again creative (you can hear the original discussion in Episode 157).  As a first step, Diana turned to cooking. Cooking grounds her because she uses all of her senses and creativity. She observes that cooking is creative and it gives her the means to prepare and freeze nutritious food for times when she might not have time to cook. They remind us that coloring outside the lines is cathartic and remind us that not all decisions are black and white. As Diana says, when we look at things in terms of black and white, we miss out on all of the color. They also talk about the little tasks you can do to gain control over a situation when everything seems to be going wrong. It can be as simple as running that cruddy load of dishes through the dishwasher twice. It can also be as simple as making our beds. Becky shares that making her bed soothes her into her mornings (because she's *not* a morning person). Diana reminds us that embracing the power of saying no to things eases our anxiety! Saying no determines where our energy goes, It defines our boundaries and priorities with others. How we spend our time shows the world what we value, and having boundaries protects us from being overwhelmed because it helps us to say no when we need to. Becky talks about different ways she makes her mornings less stressful, and Diana talks about how she's learned to ignore things until she has met her priorities! ©2022 Cronecast Podcast Network Music ©2015 Max Brodie

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about the importance of resting, resetting, and recovering.    They begin this episode by discussing how many people experienced the beginning of 2022 as a rough start. They talk about their feelings about Omicron, the latest COVID-19 variant, and emphasize the importance of staying in the present moment.   One of the ways to cope with our problems and the world at large is to find humor everywhere we can. We can find sistraction in television show or movie that we enjoy. We can also hang out with a friend who makes us laugh.    Diana doubles down on our need to be in the moment.  We experience huge amounts of stress from not forgetting to live in the moment.    She suggests that we keep a list of things we enjoy doing so we can pull it out when we are feeling down. When we do something on the list, it helps us stay in the moment so we can enjoy it.   We can also think about our values (one of Diana's is creativity) and do activities that align with them. Diana has noticed she needs to dive back into creative pursuits to help her ground herself.    Becky and Diana give us permission to stop reading a book in the middle or listening to a podcast anytime we want if they're not helping us feel better.    They point out that it's important to consume media that lifts us up.   They remain convinced that we have agency over how we move through our lives - even in year 2 of a worldwide pandemic.

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about the value of being our uniquely brilliant selves.    When we embrace who we really are and how we really think, we embrace our unique brilliance!   In their conversation, Diana and Becky recap some of the character differences between extroverts and introverts - including how they process information. Extroverts like Becky frequently process out loud, while introverts like Diana process within their own minds.    Becky talks about the importance of working out her thoughts verbally while Diana discloses that she's been working on building her ability to process out loud over many years.   They also discuss the difference between introverts and extroverts in terms of where they draw their energy. Generally speaking, extroverts are energized by people and flourish in groups. Introverts (again, generally speaking) prefer solitude and quiet.   Becky discusses one of her most frequently quoted phrases: “This is going to work out better than I can imagine.” She uses it because it reminds us to get out of our own way so we are open to possibilities out there that we can't see or imagine.   Diana relates this to being in the woods with headphones on. If we are going through the woods with headphones on, then we miss the flowers blooming and the critters running around. When we remain open and remove our headphones, we can see opportunities when they occur.    Diana and Becky also discuss what it's like to fully embrace our uniqueness, and how it feels to reject it. They point out that it's easier to be ourselves when we are in tune with others who are being themselves.   They also discuss the strange fact that many of the things people have told us are wrong with us are, indeed, the very things that make us uniquely brilliant.   Their conversation also covers why having allies at work, or anywhere we feel vulnerable, makes it easier to step into our unique brilliance and be our full selves. 

Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about their words of the year in this podcast episode! They choose words of the year as a means to focus their thoughts around their intentions for the coming year. In past years, Diana has selected bliss, blessed, and extraordinary, to name a few. She's been doing this for ten years - she even had a word for the decade: impact. The idea for the word of the year came from the book, Lifeword: Discover Your One Word to Leave a Legacy by Jon Gordon. Below is a link to the book. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N79M0D7?ref=KC_GS_GB_US Becky's been doing the word of the year exercise for three years. Her first word of the year was unleashed; her second was steady. This year Becky has chosen Knowing and Diana has chosen Release. Becky explains why she chose an affirmational word instead of an aspirational one. She also writes about this on her blog: https://beckyberrycoach.com/your-word-of-the-year/ Essentialism episodes: Episode 88: Essentialism -  https://open.spotify.com/episode/4G6TFbBuQ4tIi1zv8zCwnm?si=ab950ce6a1c24585 Episode 130: Essentialism in the Time of Coronavirus https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FP70rbs96Ld1aHzHF4UMP?si=0148320a08fd4136

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about the value of blowing things up.   There is still so much uncertainty in the world during this pandemic. It makes it hard to feel settled. Diana talks about her criteria for an event mask being mask worthy.  Becky and Diana talk about how this pandemic differs from the 1920 pandemic. Becky points out that the main difference comes down to 3 words: international air travel.  Diana discusses the results of neglecting one of her core values: creativity and shares tips for bringing it back.  They also discuss resilience, its importance, and how we can only be resilient if we have a sense of agency in our lives. Agency is understanding we have the ability to impact our own lives. We exercise agency when we trust our gut instincts and continue to do the things we know will keep moving forward. Episode 114: Agency v Control talks about the importance of exercising agency in our lives. It's necessary, not scary to blow things up when it's time It's important to be willing to blow things up (change everything) when things are not working for us and finding another way to move to the next place in our lives.  

Episode 153: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the importance of getting out of our comfort zones. We don't always realize that we're coasting in our comfort zone, so it can become uncomfortable when we do.  For example, it can be our default to stay in a job because it has health benefits even when we don't like that job. We end up stuck there because we think we can do the job for one more day, then another, and another - and, all of the sudden we've been there for years! Luckily, we do not have to leap out of our comfort zones. We can tip toe out, instead. Once we've identified what we are struggling with, we can then evaluate what we are doing now compared to what we would like to do. Diana talks about tip-toeing out of our stuckness requires us to assess our quality of life factors. We can start by listing what we do not want to do and why we don't want to do them as a means of evaluating why we choose to stay. Sometimes we stay in our comfort zone to avoid conflict and hurting others' feelings, which is a kind of conflict in and of itself. To begin moving out of our comfort zone, we can reach for the thing that's just a little bit out of our reach. Just say yes to something. What is the smallest thing we can say yes to? We can also change up our perspective by taking a new class or talking to someone. Diana also talks about EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping. She uses the technique to help clients balance their energy.  Questions? Comments? Contact us at brilliantandquirky@gmail.com

The Missing Step? Savoring Our Work   On this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about the missing step in our work and personal lives.   Diana begins the episode by talking about a conversation she had with her son about how he was improving his life. She shared his experience of playing a video game where he and a friend  came to the conclusion that to get tasks done in life, we must break each part down into little pieces.    We should also remember to look at where we came from, and the work we did to get where we are. When we forget to look back to where we came from and the steps we took to get to our end result, we are being dismissive of the work it took to get there.    Becky summed up this process by naming it “chunk and reflect.”   When we review the work that brought us to our current place, we are supercharged going forward. It gives us a focused momentum because we understand where we came from and acknowledge what it took to get here.    Also, when we take what we like and leave the rest, we move forward. We unbind ourselves from other people's ideas and expectations and exercise agency in our choices. We let go of what isn't working.    Reviewing our work forces us to pause. And, when we embrace the pause, we think more clearly while moving forward.    The process?  Review progress (How did we get here? What needs to change?), Savor that progress, then move forward to the next action or project.

In today's episode, Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about the difference between presence and focus.   Being present is being fully engaged in the moment. It's taking the time to listen fully.    Since energy flows to where our  thoughts go, when our thoughts are scattered, our energy is also scattered. Being present mentally and physically keeps us aligned.    When our energy is aligned, our thoughts are calmer. The act of being present allows us to focus.    We have to engage our bodies before our minds. When we align our bodies, and ground ourselves physically in the present, we think more clearly.    Focus is a brain activity. When we bring our energy into the moment we can bring our minds into it, too.   Diana has Becky do the 5 Senses Exercise to demonstrate how to be present (aka grounded). Here's how it works:  We look around and name 5 things we see.  We close our eyes, listen closely, then name 4 things we hear. We reach out and touch 3 things and notice how they feel.  We sniff and identify 2 things we smell. We identify 1 thing we can taste.    As we go through the exercise, it brings us back into our bodies and into the present moment.    Where our energy goes, our mind flows.  The book referred to in this episode is The Extended Mind: The Power of the Thinking Outside the Brain by Annie Murphy Paul.

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about thinking, the third component of productivity from the book, Essentialism by Greg McKeown.    Becky shares how she gets blocked when she does not think before she makes a big move.   The precepts of Essentialism consist of narrowing things down to the essentials. The process is virtually impossible to accomplish if we don't invest time in figuring out what is essential to us.    Sleeping, thinking, and playing are the three pillars of being productive. And, the most successful, productive people schedule thinking time on their calendar!   It's when we invest our time in stopping and thinking about what we want, that we can create purposeful movement forward. By gifting ourselves with time to think, we create room to identify what is truly important.   Diana reminds us to view the big shifts that happen as a result of our thinking as adventures.    Sometimes we have to get lost in our thoughts to figure out what we're really thinking about!     Thought gives us the ability to see where we are and where we want to go from a fresh prespective.   Pause and think!

  In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Diana Bader and Becky Berry discuss our absolute need for adequate sleep, how to get it, and the results of inadequate sleep.   Good sleep is critical to our bodies performing to the best of their abilities.    Sleep protects both our physical and mental assets.   Even when we miss sleep and feel like we are doing ok, the lack of sleep will eventually catch up to us.   Our brains store what they learned during the day while they sleep. And, while we're sleeping our brains also get some well-needed rest!   When we're not sleeping enough, it's impossible to be as productive as we could be.    Yoga Nidra is a yoga practice that simulates what the brain does during sleep. It has said to be as refreshing as 8 hours of sleep. Here's a 20-minute practice video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H0FKzeuVVs   Becky and Diana share how they feel after a night of no sleep. Diana says it's much harder to work out, and Becky says she feels heavy.   They discuss how we all function differently when it comes to sleep and our innate biorhythms.. Some people are morning people, and others function better at night - and that's perfect. It is important that we understand our own biorhythms so we can respect them.    Becky and Diana also discuss different ways to get to sleep. Diana does a guided meditation, while Becky reads on her Kindle.    They share the concept of making a list of things to do to help us get to sleep.    Sleep gives us the energy and brain power to handle whatever comes at us the next day!   ©2021 Cronecast Podcast Network Music ©2015 Max Brodie

On this episode of Uniquely Brilliant Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about the importance of play. Lila is Diana's word of the year. Lila, which means playful manifestation in Sanskrit. She shares how she is enacting its spirit. They talk about the way spending 5 minutes in a day can change our outlook. Becky shares three things you need to be productive: sleep, play, and then planning and guarding those things with your life. What constitutes play? We may hear the word play and think, oh that sounds frustrating. Perhaps we're thinking of  childhood games that everyone but you loved. Tag, anyone? Play can be anything that you enjoy doing! As Becky says, if you like cooking, then that is playing. If your favorite thing to do is run then that is play for you! If you find joy in it, it's play. They talk about strategies to find your joy when you need a lift. Diana suggests making a playlists of songs you like to dance to and playing one of the songs to access that lift. We need play to be more productive. Without the release of play, we cannot perform at our full potential. We can train ourselves to look for playful moments. Some playful things include coloring, doodling, watching funny videos, and sharing gifs with friends. Schedule five minutes of play everyday!   ©2021 Cronecast Podcast Network Music ©2015 Max Brodie

How do we know how to get to the next place when we don't know what the next place is?  Becky Berry and Diana Bader cover this question in this episode of Uniquely Brilliant. Diana points out one way is to focus on the short term because we must get out of crisis mode and make a plan for the near future.  Becky reminds us that we have to remember things are different and we must just get through things now, while Diana reminds us to let go of how things were before the pandemic.  By letting go of the past we are able to move forwards, which leads to growth. Going backwards keeps us stuck and improves nothing.  Fear and panic will not help us to move forward either. Becky admits that going with the flow is not her natural mode, but she tells a story about her 85 year old mom going with the flow when the eye doctor told her she couldn't drive anymore.  If you allow change to become an adventure and look at the opportunities presented in the moment, you can do things differently.  Diana hints at a secret project she is involved in all because she was open to change and new opportunities. You can't go with the flow if you are weighed down by the past; And, if you fight the flow you'll eventually be beaten down until you go with the flow or end up stuck where you are. Diana shares this analogy: When you are on the water, you aren't in charge of the water, so you just have to go with it. Expressing agency (Becky's favorite word) in these situations occurs when you know you are in charge of your actions and you go with the flow by thinking through things (instead of reacting) and trusting yourself and your experience.

In this episode, Becky and Diana discuss what it's like to be living in today's world, including questions like: How do we deal with the new reality of not knowing if you should hug people or fist bump? Diana Bader talks about how everything is just a little disjointed.  They discuss the importance of knowing how to ground yourself. Diana shares this sensory exercise for grounding: Identify five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell, two things you can touch, and one thing you can taste. Becky tries it on for size. This exercise helps to bring you back to your senses. Plus breathing - always remember to breathe.  Becky Berry mentions walking in the grass with bare feet to ground herself.  They share their experiences around mental grounding and meditation. They observe that not everyone can visualize, so it's a great idea to use guided meditations or other meditations that work better for you.   Shamanic Drumming and Humming on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/ivCOrc1HWxI Today's Tidbit Find what soothes you when you're feeling disjointed and out of sorts. It could be a bath, glass of wine, or meditative chants.

Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about a favorite topic: adventure! Diana refers to everything as an adventure. As a matter of fact, originally, each episode of Uniquely Brilliant was called “The Adventure of ....”.  As Diana says, “Life is an adventure because you never know what is coming.” She talks about her experience moving back up north to Ohio from Atlanta. She felt the full force of the good and the bad and how it's critical to not set expectations. Becky talks about her experience with her coworking space and the trials of letting it evolve in a pandemic.  Diana shares the losses she has experienced in her life and the reason she continues to see possibilities everywhere. They identify the 3 things that help turn things from ordeals to adventures: Curiosity, Wonder, and Risk Tolerance.  Diana reminds us to live in the moment because the only way you make memories is when you're in the present moment!  What is an adventure if not the ultimate good memory? Today's Tidbits: Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.  You know you are having an adventure when it's cool and scary at the same time.  We can continuously build our own adventure - see #1! 

Becky and Diana talk about all the ways people feel about talking. Becky shares her experience in opening a second business (her coworking space for women, MAD! Workspace) and all of the feelings that go along with starting it up and keeping it going in a pandemic.  She also talks about how she processes things through talking. She needs to hear the words coming out of her mouth to figure out what's going on. On the other hand, Diana is an introvert, so she doesn't need to talk things out to process them. She likes to mull things over, then figure some of it out herself a little before she shares. And, when she does share, there are only a few people she wants to share her thoughts with - like  Becky and this entire audience.  Diana points out that the difference between fear and excitement is breathing! Both emotions tap into the same place in the brain. They also talk about the importance of making deep connections with people and how rare it is to make deep connections with new people. The problem in making deep connections is that it takes time. And those people are important to have around you so you don't feel judged. Diana talks about how she sometimes shuts down around people who are not open minded, and Becky reminds us that when we are ourselves, we find people who complement us. They also address this question: What do you do if someone doesn't want to talk? They agree that the best way to get someone to open up with us is to create an environment of trust by being patient and asking good questions. A key (and brave) question to ask? Why don't you want to talk about it?  Something to ponder: Small talk means I see you. It serves a valuable purpose in setting the table for deeper discussions and connection.  

Today Diana and Becky talk about how they get to do it (everything) differently! It’s hard to remember to rephrase the idea from “having to do it differently” to “getting to do it differently” but it makes a big difference in our mindset. “I get to do it differently” indicates agency and choice. They talk about VISION BOARDS! Diana shares her new workout with The Exercise Coach and how it meets her goals and desires.. They both cover how we can all do things differently, and how feedback can be important for growth. When we do it differently, we release any need to apologize or justify our actions. The critical takeaway is that everyone’s different is - wait for it - different! Choosing to do anything differently also means figuring out our unique differences. When we focus on strengthening our strengths instead of our weaknesses we own the power and value of our own experiences! Pause a minute and reflect on how today was a success!

In this episode, Diana and Becky talk about the Art of Maintaining. This is a great episode for people who are struggling lately or drowning in the shoulda, woulda, couldas. Becky and Diana bring it back to the present and ask hard questions about what is really important and how we NEED to take care of ourselves. And Becky advocates for getting rid of the words “strive” and “working hard.” Sometimes in life we find ourselves needing to maintain rather than excel, and that's okay. Diana talks about appreciating the moment instead of settling by pushing through it. She also discusses the system she created to help her get through her days when she needs to just maintain. Diana also discusses how hard it was to maintain when she had a young child and how people in her life continuously pressured her to get more done. Becky reminds us that maintaining is a big part of Essentialism because when we choose to maintain instead of striving for more, we are claiming our own priorities and owning that it’s ok to be in the moment and take care of ourselves. When we tell ourselves we “should” be doing something, there is always someone else’s belief behind it. Instead, we must stop and ask ourselves if this belief is true right now or if it even matters to us. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you need to be doing more. Maintaining is giving up the illusion of control. Diana compares maintaining to being a superhero. To expand on the metaphor, when we maintain, we become like The Flash because we are slowing down everything around us and focusing solely on the important parts. While in Maintaining mode, priorities get really small and specific. It’s like wearing blinders and earplugs - and it takes a lot of practice. Self-care is the cornerstone of maintaining. Becky talks about the importance of having support for our self-care. We can enlist the help of family members, or friends, or acquaintances to remind us that in order to get through the current situation, we must take care of ourselves.

Becky talks about the different times in her life when people have tried and succeeded in silencing her because they thought she was too much and she believed them. Becky and Dana discuss the difference between saying that they don't care about something instead of saying it’s being important to them. Diana shares that when she doesn’t care about something, she works on reframing it as not being a priority to her. She also shares the story of high diving while in the Bahamas. Becky describes being told that she was too much as being “subtle and insidious.” It was never said aloud; it was implied in the way people talked to her and about her. When people label women as “too much,” it means they’re threatened by our ideas. Becky and Diana talk about how living by different norms threatens other people's ideas of how things are supposed to be. Diana talks about the book, Disrupt Her, by Miki Agrawal. They both talk about how they are disruptors in life and how they can both fall into  playing it small. When we finally accept who we are in life, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It also allows us to embrace being bigger and bolder. It’s important to surround yourself with people who accept your muchness because it allows you to be yourself. Finally, they talk about the freedom inherent in their bigness and how it enables them to fail fast, learn, and move forward. ©Cronecast Podcast Network · Music ©2015 Max Brodie  

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the importance of bringing our whole selves to everything. They also dig into what happens when people only want to interact with a piece of us. Some notes: Our whole self is more than our individual pieces! We all wear different hats in our lives, but that doesn’t mean that's all we bring to the table. Diana talks about how someone recently wanted to experience only one piece of her in their relationship and they were unwilling to accept all of her. Since both Becky and Diana have chosen lifestyle professions, they have intentionally engineered their work so they bring their whole selves to their endeavors instead of compartmentalized pieces. They chat about this idea in the context of jobs that want us for only one skill instead of every single thing we bring to the table. Becky shares the story of how one of her best friends, Carolyn, became her best friend after she stopped seeing just one piece of her and opened up to seeing her more fully. Diana admits that she likes to know people more fully because of her curiosity. She feels judged when people only want to know her in pieces. They point out that it’s a missed opportunity when you’re only seeing one piece of a person. To stop seeing people in pieces, we first need to recognize their essence and open ourselves to seeing them in their totality. As Diana says, “Seeing the bonuses in life is just one moment of curiosity away!” Many of us act differently depending on the context we find ourselves in. Wholeness happens when we can be the same, no matter the context. Becky reveals her realization that she tends to judge her life harshly in pieces, instead of looking at the full picture. Diana knows that she is much more willing to see other people as whole than she is to see herself that way. Which leads to this caveat: We must treat ourselves the way we treat other people!

Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about the critical importance of honoring our energy. Diana discusses the many issues she's had to deal with over the last year and how her expectations weren't met when she moved back to her hometown. All of these things have affected the energy level she can bring to her life. Becky and Diana are trying to figure out if they are tired because of the seasons changing or if they are just tired. Diana is mulling over whether her issues are physical or caused my emotional stress. She goes into detail about her timeline of events that led her to moving and the intricacies of being emotionally done with everything. She speaks of having to finally “put down her sword.” Diana shares how humor is one of the ways she gets replenished and they both relive a story and memory where they used humor to diffuse a rough situation. As Becky puts it, they have both become adept at grabbing the things that restore their energy. Diana talks about how she is focusing on building her community. She reminds us that laughter is great but it’s not as effective if you’re laughing alone. In short, we can only honor our energy when we’re also honoring our values and enforcing our boundaries. If you like the podcast, don’t keep it to yourself! Share it with a friend! It’s super easy to share episodes from Spotify, but you can do it from any platform. To review us on iTunes, go to this podcast in your iTunes library. Then, scroll down to ratings and reviews, click write a review, and write away!!! Thank you! ©2021 Cronecast Podcast Network | Music ©2015 Max Brodie

Recorded in May 2020. This was our final Pandemic episode. Becky and Diana are so tired of being responsible and having to overthink about everything! They chat about what we can do to lower our tension levels and bring as much ease as possible back into our lives. Becky talks about the coworking space she owns and how she is tired of having to remember the safety rules for everything. And, since it’s Becky, how she finds refuge and relief in reading. Diana discusses the intricacies of going out to eat during the pandemic. As Diana said, “At the end of the day, the only person I can be responsible for me is me. And how I act and how I react to what’s out there.” Right now, the only thing we can really do is do our best and have faith that doing our best is good enough. They also cover meditation and prayer.Our bodies can tell us both how and what we’re feeling. Meditation helps with dealing with responsibility by allowing you to create more ease in your life by helping you figure out what’s your responsibility and what’s the weight from everything going on around you!   ©2021 Uniquely Brilliant | Music ©2015 Max Brodie

How do you make plans when no one knows? We recorded this in May. It’s interesting/sad how the things we talked about still apply in February. Diana says she has had a hard time lately because she had planned on a lot of travel and connecting during this time in her life. She has been forced to reimagine her life and has received a lot of pushback from her own bad self, causing a massive internal struggle.  Becky discusses how incredibly difficult it is to plan anything at all.  The realization for all of us that this new way of living isn’t temporary is discussed. Becky and Diana talk about the uncertainty of the future makes everything harder. And the talk about why it’s necessary to trust our guts. Becky speaks on the idea of creating a container around a decision that determines when you’ll revisit it. Here’s how it works: make the best decision you can with the information you have at hand, and then come back to it in a fixed number of weeks. In between the time you make the decision and the time you’ve set to revisit it, you avoid second guessing it and worrying about it. When you create the container, it helps you avoid decision fatigue. Going with the flow requires constant reassessment.  Diana contemplates getting a dog. The hardships around wearing masks is discussed as well as the real reason we wear them: to protect those around us.  Becky describes her COVID safe back hug! Definitely try this at home! © 2021 Uniquely Brilliant | Music © 2015 Max Brodie

Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about how prolonged isolation doesn’t work for anyone. Diana begins this episode by talking about Harry Harlow’s experiments with monkeys that proved everyone needs comfort, and without human contact, we fail to thrive.  They also discuss the problem with texting: it’s just not the same as talking voice to voice. Becky shares her strange birthday in the 8th week of quarantine, and talks about how she missed the human connection.  Becky also confesses to being a good energy vampire (she magnifies the energy instead of taking it) because she needs people around her so she can recharge and connect. Diana admits that, even as an introvert, she is also sick of being isolated. Together they discuss the need for hugs and real face-to-face time. Becky has a hard time recharging without people while Diana becomes overcharged and very talkative when she finally does see people. There’s no balance - and no way to achieve it! They both notice how it’s hard to feel like yourself when you are alone all of the time, and feel that interactions with people can become awkward.  We all react differently to being alone all the time, but whether you get your people energy from Zoom meetings or texting, that soul connection that happens in face-to-face interactions is missing. Zoom does help a little because we can at least see people’s faces and hear their voices.  Funerals and weddings have also become difficult because we can neither console or celebrate face-to-face.  Becky and Diana also discuss what happens to the people who are thriving under these new conditions, like working from home, wondering how they’ll adapt when (or if) they return to the office.  They both wonder what the future will hold. And what will the future hold? Will there be fear concerning reconnecting with each other? When we are able to see each other again on a regular basis, what will that look and feel like? Spoiler Alert: Nobody knows. Recorded 5/5/2020

Nature, mindset, kids. It’s all covered in this episode. Choosing to make it work is a daily choice. We can choose to make it work five or six times a day. Even with friends, making it work is different now. By using FaceTime and Zoom for face-to-face calls, we can make it work. magazine did an article about why Zoom calls are stressful. It’s because these meetings are not really face-to-face. They’re pseudo presence as opposed to real presence. We’re not sharing space – and it’s getting to Diana. On the other hand, COVID has given us the brain space to notice nature more. And those moments give us joy. Leaning in to the necessity of slowing down helps us make it work. Fighting yourself doesn’t help. To make it work, we have to rest. We’re constantly accommodating new things, and our brains are muscles. They need a break! Making it work can mean being creative by making do with what you have at home. Deciding when to do something on our to-do lists helps get it done! When we add it to our calendars, we’re more likely to do it. #gretchenrubin Becky’s favorite strategy is to write out the best and worst versions of life during quarantine. Completing this exercise creates a container for our anxiety and worries. Making it work is all about grabbing onto the opportunities that appear in front of us - or, as Becky says, business as usual. When we decide, we start to move forward. When we decide to do something our brains help us find ways to get it done. So whether we think we can or we can't do something, we're right! SMH (smack my head)

“Once you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Pseudo presence, like we experience on Zoom, is the lack of physical presence. So, even though it’s like we’re other people; we’re not. And that’s a problem. This enforced slowdown helps us pay more attention to our surroundings. When we are too focused on a task, we are more productive if we take a break. We can decide to make it the best we can. Making a decision is half the battle and gets you moving. To get something done, put it on the calendar – even time to rest. We can manage expectations by putting a container around them, identifying the best case scenario, then the worst case scenario. This gives us a range for deciding the value of an opportunity. Making a decision gives us direction. Deciding tells your brain, “Make it work.”

Not everything will go as you expect in life. That is why you need to drop the expectations and go with the flow of life. ~ Leon Brown Recorded April 14, 2020. What is the least thing we can do to make it better? Follow mother nature for cues on how to move forward. Surrender control in situations we can’t control. Surf the uncertainty of the situation instead of fighting it. We can only control our responses. Honor what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t. The slower pace gives us the opportunity to notice more of what is around us. Our constraints are only as small as our imaginations. The little things are the big things. As we go with the flow instead of fighting it, we get to pick and choose our way forward.

“Let your heart be your guide on all things, but you have to listen closely because it speaks softly.” ~ John St. Augustine   Recorded April 22, 2020 Everything is NOT business as usual. All of the inconsistencies are frustrating. The uncertainty gives us an opportunity to rely on our wisdom. Experience breeds confidence. Allow others to find their own wisdom. Creativity and wisdom work hand in hand. When the environment around you doesn’t change, look for other cues as to how to respond. The most important thing is to get through this experience whole. Allow for the possibility of a do-over. We have the right to rely on OUR wisdom above all else.

“Faith is not about everything being okay. Faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.”  ~ Unknown Recorded April 7, 2020 Be a phoenix not an ostrich. There is always another side to a crisis. This is real life right now. Embrace the imperfection. We are grieving. It cannot be business or life as usual. False positive encouragement just makes us feel worse. We are getting reacquainted with ourselves. There is a major shift in reprioritizing what is truly important to us. Give yourself permission to feel all of it. Figure out what helps you get through the day. Do that. Some days are just going to be better than others, and that is okay.

“Faith is not about everything being okay. Faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.”    ~ Unknown Recorded March 31, 2020 We can be a phoenixes and rise from the ashes of uncertainty. We can avoid being ostriches. It’s important to remember there is always another side in a crisis situation. Uncertainty is real life right now for everyone. When we embrace the imperfection, we get through it with less damage. We are grieving our former lives. It cannot be business or life as usual. False positive encouragement makes us feel worse. As we shelter-at-home, we are getting reacquainted with ourselves – whether we want to or not. We’re experiencing a major shift as we reprioritize what is truly important to us. We can give ourselves permission to feel all of it. We can figure out what helps us get through the day and do just that, no more. Some days are just going to be better than others, and that has to be okay.

Bonus Episode 2: Essentialism in the time of Coronavirus “What if the whole world shifted from the undisciplined pursuit of more to the disciplined pursuit of less… only better?” - Greg McKeown (Essentialism) Recorded March 24, 2020 Essentialism helps us develop life skills. It adapts to life’s seasons. We have the ability to build great relationships by asking important questions like What are your boundaries? of the people around us. Understanding what is essential to those around you will ease conflict. It is important to keep what is essential to us in mind right now. Living in the moment is essential in a crisis and mitigates uncertainty. Saying “no” creates boundaries, enhances time management, and keeps us thinking clearly. Knowing what is essential to us allows us to manage more smoothly in a crisis and gives us a sense of control. Deciphering whether something builds us up or tears us down will show us which actions to take. Identify the things that give you calm and peace and allow yourself to do them. We recorded an earlier episode on Essentialism: Episode 88

Uniquely Brilliant Bonus Episode: What the heck? “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” - Nelson Mandela This episode was recorded on March 10, 2020 during the Novel Coronovirus outbreak in the USA. What the heck! moments happen when it’s hard to identify the truth. There are ways to take action using social media, but we may have to look for them. Our current form of community (social media, virtual) can make supportive efforts seem invisible. A scarcity mindset can send us into victim mode. It’s helpful to bounce things off people with different perspectives, instead of always drawing opinions from the same pond. It is easier than ever to go to the source and get to the truth. When we realize we have a choice and act on that, we become proactive and move away from being a victim. Sometimes we just have to let feelings wash over us and sit with them. It helps to remember we have made it through challenges before. What the heck! moments can lead to too much “What if?” thinking. We can break the cycle by focusing on what we can do.

Becky and Diana have mentioned the value of pausing in so many episodes they decided the concept deserves an episode of its own. Pauses allow us to gauge and check our perspectives. Stopping our momentum allows us to check where we are. A Vigilance Break allows us to stop before we start something and make sure everything is in place. Time-Out is a parental pause. If we don't take the time to pause, we can’t regain our perspective. Pausing prevents us from reacting to a situation too quickly. Do not pause and hold your breath! Breathe! We make more mistakes when we don’t pause. Pauses let us regain our balance. Pause = Rest & Recovery

Becky and Diana discuss how a change in perspective can change everything.  Perspective is examining things from a particular point of view. Sometimes we need to change our perspective on a task before we can successfully accomplish it. Since other people’s perspectives can shift ours, it’s important to cultivate people with the right perspectives. When we experience success in a venture, it can shift our perspective. When we want someone to shift – or we want to shift - we have to give or take the time and space to allow the shift to happen. Creating or finding a catalyst can help us shift. It’s important to be aware of and recognize when we need to shift. Reading books, watching videos and movies, seeking education, and being aware and open help all expand our perspective. Not everyone wants a perspective change. When we feel stuck, it’s usually a sign that we need a new perspective. Stamp of Brilliance:  Poll for perspective instead of approval.  

  Becky and Diana examine how we set ourselves up to fail.  It’s never intentional. We over estimate our resources. Things either fall away because they have to or we can choose to let them go. We often take an all or nothing attitude. There is never a perfect time to do anything, so what can you do now to change things up? Sometimes we have to focus on what is working and move forward from there. We stay stuck out of stubbornness because we know we can do it all eventually, but do we really have to? And do we have to it this way? We have to shift our mindset so we can recognize what is not working. We can create a catalyst to create a shift. Too often we find ourselves thinking: If it matters to me, and I matter to you, it should matter to you too. (Ummmm…not if you haven’t communicated it to me clearly!)  

Becky and Diana explore the games people play even without realizing they’re doing it.  A game is anything that prohibits straight talk and honest exchange. We can cultivate the people around us who don’t play games. Keeping personal information close and revealing it slowly isn’t a game. Parenting often unfolds as a game. Strategy is a part of any game. It can be used to achieve a positive outcome. Playing games is a learned behavior. We often don’t realize we are playing them. Being true to ourselves is the best defense against the game players. Games are often easier because there are rules to follow. Fear can keep us participating destructive games. Playing games is always about protecting ourselves.

Becky and Diana discuss how a fresh start can give new life to an old plan.   You can just start over. A fresh start makes it easier to start and leave the history behind. When we step up and identify a different approach to a situation it opens us to even more approaches. A fresh start allows us to see things with new eyes. Every fresh start begins with taking that first step. Resiliency happens when you believe that a fresh start is possible. If we can exercise hindsight, we can exercise foresight. Sometimes we have to start over to create forward progress. If it’s not working for you, start over. Whose plan are you on?

Becky and Diana talk about the different values we place on our gifts and skills.  We're trained to give away our gifts (talents). Just because our gifts come easily to us doesn’t mean they come easy to everybody. If our talents aren’t valued by certain people, we don’t feel valued by them either. Our talents (gifts) set us apart from people with similar skills. What did you want to be when you grew up? Do companies really hire for soft skills? It’s important to not take the hiring process personally. We can intentionally determine how much of our talent we want to give away (Becky has a budget for this). Sometimes giving our talents away for free doesn't mean we can’t have a larger payout. We have to identify and name our gifts and talents so we recognize when we’re giving them away.

Becky and Diana challenge us to assess the stories we tell ourselves.  Our stories are how we present ourselves to the world. All of our stories can be true, and we get to choose which one we live in. We can change the stories we tell ourselves. Communicating an attitude of gratitude in our stories makes it hard to stay stuck in the negative. Victimhood is frequently the default story, but it doesn’t have to be. Attachment to the past and to expectations makes us victims in our stories. What if things could work out better than we can even imagine? Uncoachable clients choose to stay stuck in their negative story. Surround yourself with people who value your story. Stories enforce our boundaries.

Becky and Diana discuss the frustrations of communication gaps.  We have to learn the language of the people we want to communicate with. Personality differences often contribute to communication gaps. We need to embrace change to understand. People who are not entrepreneurial have a hard time understanding that lifestyle choice. It is frustrating being questioned about a choice we have already made and having to explain ourselves. Just because we don’t understand, doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. Resilience and grit keep us moving whether we feel heard or not. Everyone has had different life experiences that shape their choices and their ability to hear others. Always assume good intentions. When listening, put down your personal filter, and really hear the other person.

Becky and Diana talk about Core Values and how they keep you, you.  Core Values are the building blocks of who we are. Core Values help us stay aligned with what we need. We are more grounded when we have identified and adhere to our Core Values. Diana’s core values are both her default and reset buttons. They express basic truths about us. We know we are living in these values when others recognize them in us. Core values can help us assess who brings value to our lives. We are energy sources that need to be recharged. Core Values give us a place to check in when we are out of balance. We can take our core values with us anywhere.

Becky and Diana challenge the notion that there is only one right way to do anything.  Something might not work for us if: Should, have to, supposed to, are our reasons for doing it. We recognize it’s not working. We become aware of alternatives. We hold on to the idea even when it’s not working. We aren’t ready for the solution, so we only recognize it’s a fit when we are ready. We are tapped out. We just don’t fit the mold. We process things differently. It’s not a fit for our personality. It’s just the wrong speed for our lives.

  Becky and Diana host their friend and sister coach, Tonya Harvey. They have a lively discussion about their words-of-the-year and a general overview of how their year is going. The podcast was simulcast as a Facebook Live video session and can be found on https://www.facebook.com/pg/beckyberrycoach/videos/.  Picking an annual word keeps our main focus top of mind. When we do stream of consciousness writing, our brains clear and make room for the intentions behind our focus word. Choosing a word-of-the-year helps our brain shift and see things differently. When we choose one word or concept to focus on, it’s easier to maintain that focus all year long. Once we say out loud that we want change, the change begins. Sharing our successes is key to building more successes. Taking one day at a time keeps us present amongst chaos. Our annual word helps us tame expectations. The words we choose as our focus help give us the discipline to move with the currents of life, ie, surf!

Becky is in a funk with a calendar full of positive events, so she and Diana hash out why.  The Funk can occur even when everything is going great. When we leave no margin in our lives for downtime and reflection, we can slip into a funk out of sheer self-preservation. Happiness Hangovers occurs as a reminder to slow down. The Funk can also be viewed as growing pains. We can find the time we need to deal with an emergency, so, we need to make time for downtime so we don’t cause one. If we take in too much, even really great stuff, we will probably explode or implode. The sheer overwhelm of everyday noise, including things unfinished or pushed aside, wears us down. Fragmented energy makes us feel out of control. Knowing how much change we can deal with can help us limit our time in The Funk.

Becky and Diana challenge us to look at the drama in our lives and recognize areas where we might be contributing to it.  Basic life stuff becomes drama based on how we react to it. We create most of our own drama. We can make a conscious choice to not join the drama. Drama happens when we try to control situations that are out of our control. Most people just accept drama and then wonder why they aren’t happy. Feeding and maintaining the drama makes it grow. There is a place for drama, and we can put a time limit on it. You might be creating drama if you’re: at the end of your rope. blaming others instead of taking responsibility for your actions. making excuses instead of coming up with solutions. avoiding people or situations instead of confronting them.

Becky and Diana talk about how saying yes to opportunities has influenced their lives, and how it can influence yours, too.  If we don’t say Yes to an opportunity right away, sometimes the opportunity keeps knocking until we do. Saying Yes helps us expand our lives. Sometimes we are nudged into a Yes because someone else sees an opportunity that we can’t. “Live A Yes!” Is just another way of saying “Take a chance.” Trust your instincts before you let your brain talk you out of an opportunity. Saying Yes requires trusting ourselves and other people. The more we live Yes lives, the easier it becomes to say Yes. Living a Yes life isn't always about saying Yes. It is easier to say Yes to things that align with our values. To pull yourself out of a funk, try saying “Yes” and see if it changes your mood.

Episode 114: Control vs Agency   Becky teaches Diana about the value of agency and how it empowers us.   Agency gives us more choice about the direction of our path. Believing in agency is a mindset. Agency gives us independence. We get to ask ourselves, “What can I influence?” When we have agency over our lives we can take back our power. Agency can’t be conferred; it has to be claimed. Agency allows us to make empowered choices. It gives us the confidence to take a risk and the ability to rebound if we fail. In relationships, agency allows us to empower and support those around us, instead of trying to control them. Removing the element of control from relationships gives them room to grow and flourish. With agency we don’t feel attached to a particular outcome.  

Becky and Diana share how podcasts have influenced their lives.  Hack The Entrepreneur was Becky’s gateway into podcasts. It taught her she was awesome just as she is. Doing the Uniquely Brilliant podcast helped Diana find her voice. There are tons of rich content in podcasts. Podcasts help us find people who get us. Podcasts are like radio on demand. There are all types of amazing nuggets of information hidden in podcasts. Podcasts help us connect with people we never imagined we could. Podcasts are one of the last free platforms for content. Podcasts enhance the growth mindset. To find a podcast that you might enjoy, research actors, authors, and business leaders or by topics like humor.  

Becky and Diana talk about the concept that we can live both/and lives.  And reminds us that we are more than one thing. Both/And allows for flexibility. The Growth Mindset is enhanced with Both/And thinking. Either/Or is the opposite of Both/And. Either/Or assumes we can only choose one option. During a time of transition we have the option to choose the Either/Or or Both/And mindset. If Either/Or feels constraining, it’s time to check your options. Both/And may require time and energy to juggle the options. Passions, priorities, and a paycheck can all be achieved with Both/And thinking. Both/And allows us to make the choice to have what we want.