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37 episodes with herpalert
The herpes test is not included in the STI panel. So even if you're a responsible sexually active adult and you ask your doctor for every STI test, most likely herpes will not be included in the herpes test. Not including the herpes test on the STI panel is part of the problem on why there are so many people getting herpes, why so many people don't know they have it and why we have a huge ugly stigma around people who have herpes.
In this episode Alexandra Harbushka interviews Dr. Aziz Gazipura the world’s leading confidence expert. He teaches people how to learn confidence so they can eliminate self-doubt, hesitation and social anxiety and master conversations, accelerate in their careers, and create deeply fulfilling relationships. On this episode Dr. Aziz gives dating tips when it comes to dating with confidence even with a herpes diagnosis. For direct link to the TellYour Partner Toolkit click HERE To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/ Read More on Life With Herpes HERE For Detailed Show Notes click HERE Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE
In this episode Bill Gaylord, my husband opens up about what it was like for me to disclose, date and now be married to someone who had herpes. He shares his initial thoughts on herpes and how it plays a role in our marriage. For direct link to The Life With Herpe Retreat https://www.lifewithherpes.com/retreat and for the Tell Your Partner Toolkit click HERE To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/ Read More on Life With Herpes HERE For Detailed Show Notes click HERE Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE
One of the common questions I get from the community has to do with oral sex. Oral sex is kind of left out of the equasion when we’re talking about sex, sex education or sexual health. Typically what comes to mind when we talk about sex is just the plane old hederosexual vaginal sex. And then when we talk about safe sex or even in sex ed classes, oral sex is kinda just left out. It’s like it’s not really considered sex. Ok so here’s the deal, you can get herpes from having oral sex! This might be an oh sh!the moment for you or it’s a moment that explains it all. Regardless we need to talk about oral sex and how herpes is just as contagious with oral sex as it is with regualr old sex. Before you panic I’m going to cut to the point and say that yes, you can still give and recieve oral sex with your herpes diagnosis but here’s the deal you’re still putting your partner at risk. Let me explain. Just a quick herpes 101, so herpes is contagious by skin to skin transmission. That means that if someone has herpes on their mouth, either HSV 1 or HSV 2, and they use their mouth to come into contact with someone who does not have herpes then they have just potentially transmitted the virus. The same goes for genital herpes, if someone has genital herpes, either HSV 1 or HSV 2, and their genitals come into contact with someone who does not have the virus then they have potentially put their partner at risk. Here’s how herpes is NOT transmitted. If someone has oral herpes and does not use their mouth to come into contact with someone. So basically you can have vaginal or anal sex you are not putting your partner at risk. Or the flip if you have genital herpes you can use you rmouth all you want and you are not putting your partner at risk. Just because you have the herpes virus in your body it doesn’t mean that your entire body is contagious. It’s just the area where you get outbreaks. Also, this is very important to bring up that just because you have HSV 1 it does not mean that it’s oral herpes and just because you have HSV 2 it does not mean you have genital herpes. I go into details here about it. So back to oral sex and herpes. Let’s be clear and break it down. If you have oral herpes and perform oral sex then you are putting your partner at risk of getting genital herpes. On the flip side if you have oral hereps you can recive oral sex and not worry that you will transmit it to your partner. Here are ways to have oral sex even though you have herpes. First and foremost you need to tell your partner. Cold sores are herpes and can be transmitted to your partner and you can give them genialt herpes. After you’ve talked about this with your partner then the both of you can decide what you want to do moving forward. To protect your partner and yourself for that matter you guys can decide to use dental dams or condoms to reduce the transmission risk Once you have talked to your partner and you both have a game plan then enjoy. In my personal relationship with my husband we both give and recive oral sex and do not use condoms or dental dams. It’s because we’re both aware of the risks and we’re both ok with the outcomes. If I’m feeling like maybe something is up then we don’t do it, it’s as simple as that. Here's the deal and why I want to talk about this. It’s not to scare you and make you feel like you can never give or recieve oral sex again. Please don’t put yourself in that position. It’s not fair to you or your partner. What I want you to know is that oral sex is sex and you can give or recieve STI’s wich includeds herpes just as easily as you can having sex. Infact, in my opinion you’re more at risk with oral sex becase we’re not taught about this in sexed and when we don’t have a condom we typically turn to oral sex for an alturnative. I want you to know the facts so that you and your partner can move forward with safe sex practices that work for the both of you. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
The quick answer is no! You can absolulty have unprotected sex even if you have herpes. Before we dive deep and go into explanation on this let’s talk about how this is a huge myth and is one of the drivers for the stigma. When we are diagnosed and told that we have herpes we automatically think that we’re going to be forced to use condoms for the rest of our lives, even when we’re married. Yuck! And this is not true. Yes, condoms are great! They do a great job at preventing pregnancy and they do an okay job at preventing the transmission of herpes. Condoms definitely have their pros and thank goodness we have them. But let’s face it, there comes a time in a relationship when you don’t want to “have to” use one. I get it. Here’s the deal with condoms. Like I mentioned before they are great at preventing pregnancy in fact they’re 98% effective when used correctly. And when it comes to preventing herpes transmission they are 30-50% effective when used correctly. So this great news but it also explains why if you always used a condom why you still got herpes. Condoms don’t cover all of the body parts. I mean you’re pretty exposed still and herpes doesn’t just show up in the areas that are covered by the condom. Herpes can be on a mans scrotum, at the base where the condom doesn’t cover or in any area around the genital region. Same thing for women, herpes is not just in the vaginal canal or around the opening. It can be anyplace in her genital region. The best method out there for reducing the risk of transmission is actually when the person who’s infected takes the antiviral. Yep, the antiviral cuts down on transmission by 48%. This is far more effective than a condom because the antiviral keeps the herpes virus dormant in your system. So, what this boils down to and what this means in reducing the risk of transmission is you need to have a conversation with your partner about having herpes. They need to know and they need to make their own decision about when the condom comes off. Really this conversation needs to be had with our without herpes but we’re specifically talking about herpes. You and your partner need to talk about what precautions you’re going to take to reduce the transmission and what you both feel comfortable with. Go out there have fun and talk to your partner!!! Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
This is one of our biggest fears when we find out we have herpes. The last thing we want is to pass it to someone else and have them experience what we went through. I mean it’s physically painful and emotionally painful. One of the aspects I like to bring up is normally when we’re diagnosed with herpes it came to us by surprise. Either our partner didn’t tell us or our partner didn’t know. Either way it’s a surprise. So when we’re diagnosed we’re in shock wondering how this happened, we’re physically in pain and want some relief and then we’re pissed! We’re so angry at our partners for not disclosing or not telling us. Moving forward when we’re in a new relationship and going to become sexually active with a partner who doesn’t have herpes the transmission is a huge fear! I get it and it’s a valid concern. Personally, I’ve never given a partner herpes so I can’t speak from personal experience. But I do know that this was something I was extremely worried about in a past relationship. I can remember taking the antiviral before going over to his house because I’d get so worried that if I felt something or a tingle then it would be the onset of an outbreak. I would totally stress myself out over it. Maybe it was because it was my first relationship with a new partner or maybe it was because he and I didn’t communicate that much about it. I’m not too sure. Here’s what I’ve learned going forward with my husband as well as what I tell members in our community. My husband, Bill, is very aware that I have herpes. I mean it’s what I do for a living so clearly he knows. Lol. But in all seriousness he knows what the risks are, he knows what herpes is all about and he trusts me to have a conversation with him letting him know if and when I have an outbreak. The bottom line is it’s his decision to have sex and it’s his dicision to take that risk. This is what I want you to work with. If you’ve disclosed to your partner and he or she knows that you have herpes and you both were in agreement of the best ways to prevent transmission for example condoms or antiviral etc and the transmission still occurred then you have to let go of that guilt. You told them, you both decided on the best method and it still happened. At the end of the day it was their decision and you didn’t make it for them. I like to use the analogy of a car. So let’s say you’re the perfect driver. You get you oil changed, you have new tires, your car is cared for and up to the safety standards. Then you as the driver wear your seat belt, are not under the influence, not using your cell phone and following all the traffic rules. Just because you do all of that does not prevent you from getting in an accident. Yes, you were doing everything you could do to reduce your risk but it’s still possible for a car to run a red light or a car to forget to stop or whatever. Basically this is the same as the possibility of transmission of herpes. You’re doing everything you can to protect your partner but he or she took on the risk and the transmission still happen. Forgive yourself, communicate with your partner and know that it was their choice. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
These herpes myths will surprise you. I know they sure did for me. The reason why there’s a stigma against herpes is because of all the myths out there. We say that someone was irresponsible and that's why they have herpes. We say that people were promiscuous and that’s why they have herpes. We think that condoms will protect you from getting herpes and so on. Really what this all boils down to is the lack of education about herpes and the snickering that continues about herpes and STI’s. The truth is that 84% of people have herpes. You can’t say that 84% of the population were irresponsible or promiscuous or that their sex life is over. The truth is that we as humans get herpes by enjoying life and by spending time with other people. You don’t have to have sex to get herpes and you really can’t tell who has it. I want to break down the 10 most common myths that are associated with herpes. If you have herpes you should keep reading and if you don’t have herpes you should keep reading also. Chances are there’s someone out there you love and care about who has it. Herpes is not included in the STD panel This is not true. You actually have to ask for a herpes test. Other STI’s like chlamydia and gonorrhea and HIV are included but not herpes. There are many different theories and reasons for this. Some doctors feel that the aftermath of knowing you have herpes is far worse than the actual outbreak. Others feel that it’s so common so why test. Regardless, you have to speak up and ask for the test. Promiscuous people get herpes This idea of being promiscuous or a slut or sleeping around really needs to be put to rest. I mean yes the more people you come in contact with the more exposure you have to the virus. However, that thought or stigma does not apply to everyone with the herpes virus. Most of the people I talk to who have herpes got it from a committed relationship. Most of the time the person with herpes did not know they had herpes and unknowingly passed it to their partner. Oral herpes is different than genital herpes This particular one really erks me. Herpes is herpes! HSV 1 is herpes and HSV 2 is herpes. There is no good herpes or bad herpes. You did not do something right or wrong. HSV 1 is typically oral herpes however HSV 1 is becoming really common in the genial region. What this means is the majority of people with oral herpes think they’re different or put in a better category because they don’t have the “bad herpes”. This is total BS! Antiviral will cure your herpes The good news and bad news about viruses is that they are in your body for life. So in some cases this is great, like with a cold or the flu. In other cases this is annoying like with herpes. So taking an antiviral will not “cure you” or get rid of herpes for good. What it does is the antiviral works really well at keeping the virus dormant in your body and prevents outbreaks as well as lesses the chance of transmission. I talk more about antivirals here. So at the end of the day you’ll have this virus for the rest of your life and you will be contagious when the virus is active. Your sex life is over This is a big one and most of us think this when we’re diagnosed. It’s totally not true and you can absolutly have sex again and be in a loving relationship. Herpes has nothing to do with it. Having herpes does require you to discuss your diagnosis with a partner and it might require some extra protection or communication but that’s it. If you're in a relationship and just found out you have herpes then it means that your partner cheated on you. This is always what we think and having a conversation with your partner is crucial. Here’s the deal, typical transmission occurs within 2 weeks however that’s not always the case. You can become infected with the herpes virus and it can lay dormant in your body for weeks, months or even years. So in this situation, your partner or spouse could have come into contact with it years ago and it just now it popping up. Condoms fully protect you from herpes I’m all about using condoms as protection so I’m not discouraging you from using them. But a condom only covers a portion of a man’s genital area and during sex there’s more square feet that’s coming into contact. You know what I mean? Also, we don’t always use the condom during the entire sexual experience. There’s foreplay where there’s not a condom used and also oral sex where condoms are typically not used. Basically what I’m saying is there’s lots of opportunities for skin to skin contact and herpes to infect a partner. It’s obvious to tell if someone has herpes You can not tell if someone has herpes. It’s not like a look or a classification or a smell or anything for that matter. The only way you’d be able to tell is if they had an outbreak happening however even with that it might look different than what you’re thinking or be in a funny spot where you can’t really see it. So in other words, doing body check before you have sex doesn’t work. The only way to know is if the person is diagnosed by a doctor. You’re only contagious when you have an outbreak This was what we originally thought back in the day when it came to herpes. However, now that we’ve done so much more research on the virus and have a better understanding we know that there’s this thing called viral shedding. When this occurs we’re contagious and can transmit herpes to a partner. The catch is we don’t know when the virus is shedding because there is no sign or symptom of the virus. I talk more about viral shedding here if you want to know more. If you don’t get herpes outbreaks then you don’t have herpes This is another huge myth out there and one of the reasons why herpes is being transmitted so often. The majority of people with herpes are asymptomatic which means that they don’t get outbreaks. Lucky them right!?!? But here’s the catch, they’re still herpes positive and can still transmit the virus to a partner. Back to the viral shedding thing. The other downside to this is that if you don’t have outbreaks then you’re probably not getting tested and don’t know you have it. So you’re unknowingly exposing your partner to herpes. So as you can see there’s tons of myths out there that we all play into or believe what we want to believe because we it helps our situation. It’s so easy to believe that if you always use a condom then you won’t get herpes or it’s easy to put yourself in a situation of not finding a partner because you have herpes and think that nobody will want you. It requires you to educate yourself on the herpes virus and have conversations with your partners. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Ok I’m sure you’re reading this going...what are you crazy!?! Before you start wondering about transmission and how this is going to work out let me calm you down and explain. Sex doesn’t have to mean vaginal sex. That’s typically what we think of when we hear the words sex. It’s pretty conventional and socially we’ve been programed to think of sex as vaginal intercouse. Well, there are many other ways to be intimate with your partner and avoiding your outbreak. Let me talk about my relationship for a bit. As of writing this, my husband and I have been together for 5 years, we have sex regularly and he does not have herpes. Me having herpes, does not get in the way of our relationship, our marriage, or our sex life. We’ve found ways to get around it when I have those pesky outbreaks or when I feel like they’re coming on. In case you’re wondering how I haven't transmitted herpes to my husband I attribute it to being very open when it comes to communication. I let him know if I feel like something is going on or if I have an outbreak and when it’s all healed up. We do not use condoms nor am I on the antiviral so it really boils down to communication. I talk about the best methods of reducing transmission in other episodes so if you’re interested in that topic you can go here. But what I’m wanting to get at here is that there are other ways to be intimate that doesn’t involve vaginal intercourse. There’s oral sex, there’s masturbation and there’s the use of toys. Let’s quickly review how transmission occurs. It’s skin to skin transmission with the location of the outbreak. So here’s an example, if you have oral herpes and have an outbreak on you mouth then would want to refrain from using your mouth and coming into contact with someone who is not infected. In other words, if you have an oral outbreak you can have vaginal or anal sex and receive oral sex but not perform oral sex. Make sense? Kissing or performing oral sex on your partner would put them at risk of contracting herpes. Another example, if a man has an outbreak on his penis then he would want to prevent his penis from coming into contact with his partner. So in this case, he could perform oral sex on his partner and depending on where the outbreak is located he could potentially masturbation. So do you get where I’m going here? You have to get creative and sometimes that can be different and fun. It gets you out of your normal sex rhythm and forces you and your partner to communicate and get creative. Yes, maybe it’s not sexual penetration but hey, you’re still intimate with your partner and you both can still share in the fun and pleasure. Outbreaks only last for a few days and they go away, don’t let an outbreak dictate or get in the way of you and your partner enjoying one another. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
You probably have herpes and you’re not alone. When you get diagnosed with herpes you feel like you’re all alone and the only person in the world with herpes. Well guess what!!! You’re now the majority. Yes, the majority of people have herpes. In fact 84% of the world population has herpes. Let’s break that down for you... First let’s talk about the United States and people with herpes. I pulled up numbers from the census and data from the Center of Disease Control to get as exact as we can. Unfortunately the CDC only had numbers of people from the ages of 14-49 with herpes. Now we know that there are plenty more people with herpes that are over 49 but we have to go with the numbers and data that’s provided. In the US there are 112,806,642 people in the US between 18-44. Of people aged 14-49 in the U.S., 47.8% have HSV-1 and 11.9% have HSV-2. Or if you want to total the percentage of people with herpes both type 1 & 2 it’s 59.7%. That’s a lot of people and remember we’re not even including people 50 or above. Here it is broken down into numbers instead of looking at it as a percent. There are 53,921,574.90 people with HSV 1 and 13,423,990.40 people with HSV 2. This totals to be 67,345,565.30 people with HSV in the US between the ages of 18-44. Again that’s a ton of people! I’ve also included graphs and more data breaking it down to type 1 & 2 as well as the age, race, and sex. I found this pretty fascinating and I think you will. Data from the CDC Ok so now let’s talk about the world population with herpes. The information that I can find on numbers are that ⅙ or 17% of the population has HSV 2 and ⅔ or 67% of the population has HSV 1. This means that 84% of the population has HSV either HSV 1 or HSV 2. Unfortunately there are no cool graphs and data on this that break it down so I had to look at this with some rough numbers. There are 7.53 billion people in the world. So that means that 17% or 128,010,000 have HSV 2 and 67% or 504,510,000 have HSV 1. This totals to 632,520,000 in the world with either HSV 1 or 2. These numbers are astonishing. You are so not alone. The only reason why you feel alone is because nobody is talking about it. We’ve been made to feel like we are carrying an awful secret or we’re bad people for living life. As you can see from these numbers that the majority of the population has herpes. Feel free to use this information while disclosing or sharing it with others. Educating people on herpes is the best way to stop the stigma. Don’t let having herpes stop you from living your life and following your dreams. Go out and crush it!!! Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
You get the call from your doctor saying you have herpes and they’ll fill your prescription. Eek… right? Here’s the deal. Take the antiviral. Chances are you’re in pain and feel horrible and all you want is for your outbreak to go away. Getting that antiviral in your system ASAP is the best thing you can do. In fact, the soon you get it in your system on the onset of an outbreak, the sooner your outbreak will clear up. I’ve heard of people being too embarrassed to go to the pharmacist to pick up the antiviral, don’t be. Seriously they medication will be a god send and get you feeling better. A quick note, however, you don’t need the antiviral to recover. Unlike having say strep throat or some other type of bacterial infection where you need an antibiotic to get better you don’t need the antiviral your outbreak will clear up on it’s own but it will take a lot longer. Also, a quick disclosure, herpes is a viral infection so you will never get rid of it. Taking the antiviral does not “cure” you or get rid of herpes. It just clears up the current infection you have right now. If you want more information on herpes you can go here where I break it way down. Let’s cover herpes medications and break them down into 2 categories. A pill and a topical cream. The Antiviral Pills: Acyclovir (brand name Zovirax): The oldest antiviral medication for herpes is acyclovir. It has been available since 1985 in pill form. Acyclovir has been shown to be safe in people who have used it continuously (every day) for as long as 10 years. Valacyclovir (brand name Valterx): A newer drug, valacyclovir, actually uses acyclovir as its active ingredient. This medication delivers acyclovir more efficiently so that the body absorbs much of the drug, which has the advantage of taking the medication fewer times during the day. Famciclovir (brand name Famvir): Famciclovir uses penciclovir as its active ingredient to stop HSV from replicating. Like valacyclovir, it is well absorbed, persists for a longer time in the body, and can be taken less frequently than acyclovir. The Topical Antiviral: Acyclovir ointment (brand name Zovirax®) Penciclovir cream (brand name Denavir®) Both work to speed up the healing process and reduce the viral activity. These topical drugs are put directly on the lesions themselves, but can also be used at the onset of prodrome. As you’ve seen me mention “branded” and “generic” basically what that means is the brand name was typically what the drug companies came out with when the drug came on the market. And the generic has the same ingredients and works in the same way but does not carry the brand name. Usually branded drugs are more expensive and generic are less expensive. It doesn’t really matter which one you take and they will do the trick. Of course, if you’re having side effects or issues with one drug or the other then you’ll want to talk to your doctor and have him or her prescribe another option. Also, other questions I get are about why one drug over the other drug etc. A lot of time it has to do with your insurance and which one they will cover as well as which one your doctor prefers. Again, if you have issues with one or your outbreaks are not clearing up then talk to your doctor and see what can be done. The good news here is that you have options! Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Disclosing is one of the things that we fear the most when we’re diagnosed with herpes. There’s so much that we wrap up into dating and wanting to feel desired and now with a herpes diagnosis we are fearful that we’ll get rejected. We either don’t disclose because we’re so caught up in the stigma and with the fear of rejection or we just got caught up in the moment and didn’t get a chance to disclose. Ok this happens...I get it but let’s look at some possible consequences of not disclosing. Here’s what happens when you don’t disclose you have herpes: Your partner is at a higher risk of getting herpes Yep, this is true. Lots of times we think out of sight and out of mind, however that’s not the case with the herpes virus. This virus works a little different. While you are most contagious when you have outbreaks and if you expose someone to the virse with an outbreak you’re probably going to transmit it. But the thing is with the HSV virus is that you can still transmit it when you have no symptoms at all! Yikes! This is due to what’s called viral shedding. We talk more about viral shedding here so go check it out. By telling your partner about your herpes diagnosis your protecting your partner more because you guys can come up with the best plan for safe sex. Without having the conversation you’re just putting your partner at risk without their knowledge and at the end of the day it doesn’t feel really sexy. A Lack of Trust Here’s what I’ve learned in life is that at the end of the day the truth will always come out. And in this particular situation they way the truth can come out is your partner potentially getting an outbreak or they see your prescription for the antivirals in your medicine cabinet or their bff mentions it while they’re drunk. Whatever the situation is, it can happen and then there’s a bigger problem. The bigger problem isn’t that now your partner had herpes but it’s that there’s a huge lack of trust. This can lead to breakups, an unhealthy relationship and your partner wondering what else you’re hiding. None of this is good and it could have been prevented by having the conversation upfront. You Live with The Guilt Here’s the thing, we’re talking about this because I don’t want you to be living with guilt or shame. The last thing you want in your relationship is secrets and feel like you have to keep them. If you’re in the situation of not disclosing to your partner and don’t know how to approach it then the best way is to lead with the truth. I get that it’s a super hard conversation to have. Personally when I’ve been in situations where the truth is hard or I need to apologize for something I’ve done the best way to lead is with your heart and your vulnerability. When the person you care about sees how much it’s eating you up and how much you want to set it right there will be compassion. This is something we talk about almost weekly in the Secret Society weekly Support Group calls as well as if this is something you want to talk about privately then we can set up an Emergency Call. This is all really deep stuff and trust me I get where you’re at. Sending you big hugs and tons of support! Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
If you don’t have herpes then hearing that everyone has herpes virus probably just freaked you out! Well, it’s true that everyone has a herpes virus and it’s nothing to be worried about. You’re going to be just fine. Promise. We’ve been living with these dang herpes viruses for as long as humans have been walking on this earth. The herpes virus want to survive as much as we do and they’ve done a pretty good job at it. Let me explain. There are more than 100 known herpes viruses out there! Yep 100! The good news is that there are really only 8 that infects us as humans. Here’s the list and I’d bet you have more than one of them: herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV) or commonly known as cold sores or fever blisters herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV) commonly known as genital herpes Varicella-zoster virus (VZV) or commonly known as chickenpox or shingles cytomegalovirus is very common and doesn’t really have any symptoms Epstein-Barr virus or commonly known as mononucleosis or mono and the Symptoms include fatigue, fever, rash, and swollen glands. human herpesvirus 6 or commonly known as HHV and infects nearly 100% of human beings, typically before the age of three and often results in fever, diarrhea, sometimes with a rash known as roseola. human herpesvirus 7 or commonly known as HHV has symptoms including acute febrile respiratory disease, fever, rash, vomiting, diarrhea, low lymphocyte counts, and febrile seizures, though most often no symptoms present at all. Kaposi's sarcoma virus or human herpesvirus 8 include symptoms that are lesions on the skin: flat, painless spots that are red or purple on white skin and bluish, brownish, or black on dark skin. Ok so heres the deal. You have 1 or 2 or 3 or many of the herpes virus that are living with us humans. The only one that causes us to freak out or make us believe that we did something wrong is herpes or HSV 1 or 2. So why is it that getting chicken pox or mono doesn’t make us feel like we’re a leper? My guess it’s all a marketing stunt that was put into place to sell the antiviral, valtrex. The pharma companies need a compelling story to convince people that then needed this antiviral in order to continue to live a normal life. And yes, it’s 100% BS. You don’t need the antiviral to live a normal life, yes it helps heal the outbreaks faster but thats really it. But back to the 8 herpes viruses and how we all have many of them and we all freak out about getting genital herpes or oral herpes. It really does get me going when you hear people cringe or have an eww attitude towards people with herpes when I know that they have herpes viruses too. Oh and 80% of the people with HSV don’t even know they have it. The reason why this is important to you, someone living with either oral or genital herpes, is that you can educate the person who stereotypes you or calls you names. Ask them if they have ever had mono or the chicken pox or cold sores. I can guarantee you they’ve had one or all of them. The truth is you have herpes viruses and that’s just fine. Chickenpox or mono doesn’t define you’re life so why should you let HSV 1 or 2 define your life. What? It’s because you feel like nobody else has it or nobody will date you? It’s total BS and all that it is is a stupid virus that gives you some blisters here and there. That’s it! Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Will herpes impact your child's health? There’s been a lot of parents or people who want to become parents recently asked about their kids. When were diagnosed with herpes were worried that we could potentially pass this to someone we love and of course accidentally to our kids. I want to cover the facts and how you can prevent transmission to your kids. Over the years I’ve had people reach out to me with questions and of course stories when it comes to herpes and their kids. I’ve had parents not hug or kiss their kids because they didn’t want to pass it to their child. Or I had a dad say he never got in the swimming pool with his kids because he was worried his kids would catch it. THe stories go on and on and it truly saddens me to hear that parents are missing out on such tender moments with their children. So let’s get down to it and talk about herpes and your kids. Let's start at the beginning and cover what herpes is and how it’s transmitted. I go into this in real depth here but here's the cliff notes. There’s HSV 1 which is typically oral and HSV 2 which is typically genital however they are interchangeable and they both can go to either region. If your infected only orally then you can not transmit herpes genitally and vise versa. Herpes is most contagious via skin to skin but also the virus can be spread by sharing glasses, utensils, towels and washcloths or anything else that you can think of that would come in contact with the virus and then be shared with someone else. Again. I cover this a ton in other episodes so go check them out. Let’s start at the very beginning of your child's life, and talk about the risks of having a mother who’s infected with herpes. I cover this also in other episodes so you can go here for the full breakdown. If the mother does not have a herpes outbreak at the time of delivery and she delivers vaginally then there’s a less than 1% chance of the baby contracting herpes. The good news is this is very low and it’s important that you communicate your herpes diagnosis with your doctor and come up with a birth plan that works for you. Ok so what happens if the baby contracts herpes at birth? Well it can be dangerous because the baby doesn’t have the immune system and the strength to really fight it. Here’s a list of the complications that can occur if a newborn picks up the virus. They can be severe and life-threatening symptoms, including: Fatal organ damage, including the liver, lungs, and heart Serious viral infections, such as viral meningitis Recurrent sores on the skin, eyes, genitals, or mouth Blindness Deafness Seizures Something to make sure you as a parent are aware of is this is for both HSV 1 & 2. In other words if someone comes to visit your baby and has a cold sore on their mouth and kisses your baby in the hospital your baby has just been exposed to the herpes virus. The best way to keep your newborn safe is ask all visiting relatives to wash their hands and if someone has an active outbreak to ask them to please not touch your baby for the risk of transmission is too high. Now let’s move on past newborn stage and to your kids life. Of course, we don’t want our kids to get herpes nor do we want to be the ones to give it to them but it can happen and guess what. Your kid will be just fine. Yes, it hurts and it’s embarrassing and it’s annoying but let’s face it. The majority of the population has herpes. You can’t blame yourself nor do you want to miss out on normal parental activities with your child. The only risk that is really associated with your child getting herpes is there’s a very low chance the herpes virus can cause Encephalitis. Encephalitis is an inflammation of the brain and it can be quite dangerous if it goes untreated. If this occurs, you’ll want to get your child into see a doctor ASAP. The inflammation of the brain is more common in children and the elderly because they don’t always have the immune system to fight it off. By informing you of this information I don’t want you to feel like you can never become a parent, never touch a child and of course heaven forbid touch your child. That would be ridiculous and just so sad. The point in me clarifying this is to let you know what actually happens so that you’re aware but also know that these risks are so low that it’s not something to be too concerned with. Remember the story about the dad who never got in the swimming pool with his kids because he didn’t want to pass the herpes virus to his kids. Well, in my opinion there was far worse damage done by not swimming with your kids then potentially exposing them. Oh and by the way, you can not pass herpes in the pool. Then remember the mom who hadn't held, cuddled or kissed her child in two years because she was worried about passing herpes. Well again, in my opinion that does far worse damage than potentially transmitting herpes to your kid because you smother them with love and oops they accidentally got herpes. If you’re a parent take this information and make decisions on what best suits you, you’re lifestyle and if you feel inclined, talk to your doctor. I just don’t want you to miss out or feel like you’re not able to love your kids the way you want to. Herpes is just a silly skin condition that has a horrible stigma attached to it. THAT IS IT! Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
I get questions all the time about pregnancy and herpes. In fact, this was one of the first questions I asked when I was first diagnosed back in 2011. There are so many myths out there that demonize herpes and make us feel like we no longer have the same rights a people who don’t have herpes. It’s 100% BS and yes, you can have a baby. I talk about herpes and pregnancy in other episodes and I’ll have them linked so you can hop over and check them out as well. But today I want to talk about fertility specifically. It’s so funny right, we spend forever doing our best to not get pregnant and then when we want to get pregnant we have a ton of questions and wonder if we really can. Oh and add a herpes diagnosis to the mix. Personally as a woman, my fertility was something I never worried about. I mean were not taught to worry about it were taught to worry about getting pregnant so why would I worry about “if” I could get pregnant. I’m going to side track to me a bit and right now I’m 4 months pregnant! Yay! But I have to tell you it wasn’t an easy journey and having herpes really had nothing to do with it. It took my husband and I 2 years to conceive and I wish I would have known more about it when I was younger. I’ll get back to my fertility journey but first I want to address how maybe slightly herpes could impact your trying to conceive journey. Frequent Outbreaks This could prevent you from getting it on during the prime fertile time. My husband likes to call it my flower day. If you keep having outbreaks and cant have sex then yes, having herpes can impact your ability to get pregnant. Some ways around this would be to get on the antiviral. This will help reduce your outbreaks so that you and your partner can hump like bunnies. Wanting to Use a Condom There’s a lot of couples who want to use condoms no matter what. And that’s ok if it's your jam. The problem is that the condom is obviously going to prevent the sperm and the egg from meeting. That’s a problem. If you’re in a situation where this is a problem I suggest talking to your partner and looking at the risk versus reward. If you’re a male with herpes and don’t have an outbreak, not taking the antiviral and not using a condom you have a 4% risk of transmitting herpes to your female partner. If you’re a female with herpes and don’t have an outbreak, don’t use a condom and are not on the antivirals then you have a 10% chance of transmitting it to your partner. And then there was this study done in Iran and it was the only study that I could find on fertility and herpes. I’m not saying it's bogus and I’m not saying it's something to focus on. This study says that having herpes may impact the sperm count in men with herpes. I have the link to the article but basically it states that in more than half of infertile men there’s no answer to why they’re infertile. When a study was done they tested sperm from men with HSV 1 and HSV 2 as well as with men who do not have herpes. The sperm with herpes infected men came back with abnormal semen parameters and lower sperm count. Again, I don’t know all the details around the study and what “normal” semen parameters are. If you’re interested, here’s the link to read the study on your own. Again...I want to emphasize this is only 1 study and not something written in stone. And personally I don’t think I’d worry too much about it. Back to fertility and learning how important it is as a woman to know you’re fertility and how your hormones are. This has nothing to do with herpes but after struggling personally to get pregnant I wish I would have tested my fertility in the past. See the older women get, the less healthy our eggs are and our fertility hormones are. I recently was interviewed by Modern Fertility regarding pregnancy and fertility when it comes to herpes. You can read it here. But really what I want to emphasize here is take herpes out of the equation and if having a baby is something that is extremely important to you then check out your fertility profile. Seriously I wish I would have done this before trying to get pregnant. It would have given us information to make decisions based on the information from the test. You can go here to get your own test and we have a special discount for our members. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
In the Life With Herpes community, the number one question I get has to do with dating. The questions range from will I ever date again, will anyone ever love me, how do I tell my partner and anything in between. So here’s the answers….Yes, you’ll date. Yes, you’ll find love. Yes you’ll get the courage to tell the cute person your dating. And Yes you’ll have sex again!!! PROMISE! There’s good news when it comes to dating with herpes. I’m being serious. The good news is you now are in control of your sexual health. I’ll speak for myself but I’m guessing you’ll fall into this category too. So before being diagnosed with herpes, I knew what herpes was and I knew about STD’s. I was very educated in this because I taught for planned parenthood.However, even though I knew everything I still believed that I was immune to everything because I’d never sleep with anyone who had anything. I believe I’d just know by looking at them. Feel free in insert an eye roll right now! Because we have herpes it’s our wakeup call to be in control. I see it time and time again where people didn’t ask their partner about their sexual health or they didn’t use protection because they were like me and thought it’d never happen to them. Or it was an uncomfortable conversation so they didn’t have it. As we know its all BS!!!!! I’m guessing these things didn’t happen because you were either insecure or trusted that person. And trust me I’m 100% guilty of both things. Like I mentioned earlier I never thought I’d get any type of STD because I would never sleep with anyone dirty or slimy that had it.What a Pollyanna move. All that needed to happen was to have a conversation. All that needed to happen was standing up for my health and lay out my requirements for a safe sexual relationship. Please keep in mind that my requirements may be totally different from your’s and that’s awesome. What needs to happend is to have them and stick to them. Here’s what you need to do… Have the sex talk! It’s as simple and as difficult as that! Have the sex talk prior to having sex with a new partner or a blast from the past. Just because you already slept with someone 6 months ago doesn’t mean that you’re still in the safe zone. Personally I’d sit down and decide what you feel comfortable with. Some questions to ask yourself are; do you want your sexual relationship to be monogamous or are you both exploring other options. Is the sex just causal or are you looking for a more serious commitment. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you feel you deserve and want. Then when you’ve decided what you want from the relationship its a great way to open the conversation about sex. Bring up that you like them and you want to take this to the next level, so it’s important to have a conversation about it. At this point I’d ask my partner to have an STD test done before getting naked with them. Even if we’re planning to use a condom. Why go to that measure? Because sometimes people don’t know they have an infection, let’s face it people lie and condoms only work 30-50% of the time. So...why take the risk. Your health and well being is way to important. If you don’t stand up for yourself then nobody else will. Sex can still be fun and spontaneous and hot!!! What makes it even better is knowing that you both are being safe and are being responsible. Let me know your thoughts and let me know how you proceed. Watch Life With Herpes Listen To Life With Herpes Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
So the person you like just told you they have herpes. You’re thinking should I date them? What does this mean for me? How’s this going to play into our dating and sex life? Ok so first let me calm you down and let you know what it feels like when you’re first diagnosed with herpes. Seriously, dating or being able to date is the number one fear. We think that nobody will date us and that our life is over! The fear of rejection is a real thing and so telling the person we like that we have herpes is really scary. So firstly before you make an decisions I want to make sure you’re aware that the person you’re dating really respects you. He or she took a leap of faith and told you their deep dark secret. They told you that they have herpes. This was really hard for them so I hope that you give them some credit and acknowledge that it was hard for them. Here are the top questions you’re going to have when dating someone with herpes: Can you still have sex? YES, the answer is yes! You can still have a normal and healthy sex life if you or your partner has herpes! And yes, you can do something to prevent prevention. There are so many stories of people who’ve been together for years and have not yet transmitted it. It really boils down to communication and trusting your partner to disclose to you when they had their last outbreak or if they feel one coming on. Here are 3 ways you can prevent transmission to your partner. Having herpes doesn’t mean they’ve slept around. In general we all have this idea or preconceived notion that people with herpes have slept around and that’s obviously how they got herpes. Well this is 100% BS and false. We all have an idea of the “type” of person who has herpes and clearly because of the stigma it creates this false reality of people who have herpes. You have already been exposed to the herpes virus before meeting them. Of course when our partner tells us that they have herpes it’s normal to freak out and think that you’re automatically going to get herpes too. Well here’s the thing, you’ve already been exposed to the herpes virus weather it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2. ⅔ people have HSV 1 and ⅙ people have HSV 2 so there’s no way you can go through life and not have been exposed. You’ve shared a burger, a cigarette, had a sip of someone's beer or coca cola. It’s just impossible for you to not have come into contact with it. Remember at the end of the day this person really cares about you and he or she has great integrity. They told you that they have herpes because they felt the importance of disclosing and making sure you have the decision. If you have more herpes questions, and probably you do, feel free to check out more videos and this blog. Oh and of course, you can reach out with any questions. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
One of the most common misconceptions I hear when I read comments or get asked questions are about oral herpes and HSV 1. So let’s break it down and get right to it. Before we break it down let’s just do the 101 on herpes. There’s two types; HSV 1 & HSV 2. Both have very similar symptoms and we can not tell one virus apart from the other one unless testing is done. HSV 1 prefers to live in the oral region meanwhile HSV 2 prefers to live in the genial region. However, the virus will live or go wherever you give it a place to go. In other words, HSV 1 can be genital and HSV 2 can be oral. More people have HSV 1, its ⅔ globally and ⅙ globally have HSV 2. If you want more information on HSV you can go here where I give a full breakdown of symptoms and all sorts of goodies. HSV1 is known as oral herpes or because we don’t like to use the word herpes we call them cold sores or fever blisters. Oral herpes is also known as the “good” herpes and genital herpes is known as the “bad herpes”. This is total BS and I’ll get on that subject another time. But here’s the shocker...HSV 1 can also be genital herpes. Mic Drop! I get tons of DM’s and emails with people asking about having HSV 1 and either assuming it’s oral or wondering why they’re getting outbreaks down there. This can be confusing, especially because there’s not a lot of education on the matter. First thing I want you to look at when you’re diagnosed with herpes is, where is your outbreak? Is it orally or is it genitally? Don’t assume that because you have HSV1 that it's not genital herpes. If you have herpes in your genital region then you have genital herpes regardless of HSV 1 or HSV 2. Make sense? In the past and past generations we were not so careful about transmitting herpes. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal or maybe we just didn’t know. I really don’t know. But in the last generation we've done a much better job of reducing the risk of HSV 1 being orally transmitted. So that’s good news! But we’re still getting herpes and we’re not getting it up there. Instead we’re getting it down there. I’ve seen a ton of new cases especially with millennials getting genital HSV 1. This goes back to we’re not educating our society that HSV 1 is also sexually transmitted. This is always such a shock and super confusing to people when they get their diagnosis. For reasons I’m sure you understand. Here’s the deal. I’m going over this so that you can have more information and use this to educate your partners or give you answers to your diagnosis. It really doesn’t matter what type you have nor does it matter where you have it. Yes there's a HUGE stigma about having genital herpes but at the end of the day it’s herpes. When starting a new sexual relationship with someone I recommend having your partner get tested before you jump in bed together. Because so many people have HSV 1 and a lot of them don’t even know it most likely your partner has HSV 1. They either don’t not know they have it or are not aware that their fever blisters is herpes and is sexually transmitted. Education is power so you can now take this and decide how you want to handle it. Of course let me know if you have any questions on this. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
After launching the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm I’ve been getting lots of questions from you all about CBD and why we should use it. Well… I’m convinced that CBD has so many health benefits and they completely fit with the lifestyle of people living with herpes. Let’s face it. Outbreaks hurt! They’re annoying. They show up when we’re stressed out or run down. They absolutely are a buzzkill and change our mood. Oh and not to mention the outbreak that never seems to go away. And guess what? CBD helps with all of this. I’ll tell you how. Here are 5 ways that adding CBD into your life will benefit your herpes outbreak. Calm Your Anxiety Regardless of just being diagnosed with herpes or if you’ve had herpes for years anxiety can set in and wreak havoc on you. There’s nothing worse than an anxiety attack and CBD Oil mimics serotonin which plays a key role in our mood. It’s the gatekeeper to anxiety or depression. Reduce Inflammation CBD can reduce your inflammation from herpes outbreaks. When the outbreak is in full swing there is redness, puffiness, and pain. CBD helps reduced the information and discomfort that goes along with it. Improves Your Overall Mood When outbreaks happen it’s a perfect time for us to be a roller coaster of emotions as well as be an energy suck. CBD makes a positive impact on your mood swings and energy levels. Lessons Outbreak Pain Herpes outbreaks hurt and CBD reduces pain on multiple levels and even promotes nerve health which is important because the HSV virus lives in our nervous system. Improves Recovery Time Outbreaks cause stress on your body and that can keep you down and out and in a funk for too long. CBD lessens inflation calms your nerves and gets you back into balance. After covering all of this...why wouldn’t you give CBD a try and why wouldn’t you give the lip balm that’s specially designed to improve recovery time, lessen the outbreak pain and improve your overall mood? Here’s the link for you to check it out and see for yourself. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Yay, you’re pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant and want to know what herpes has to do with it. Wow, this is exciting! Time in your life so let's talk about herpes and pregnancy. I can remember one of the first things I was worried about and asked my doctor about pregnancy. I was curious if it would impact pregnancy, birth, and the child. I’m sure I wasn’t the only woman so here are some great details on this next exciting big step. Let’s break this down into two sections, people who already have herpes and want to get pregnant or are pregnant and then people who get herpes while pregnant. So first let’s talk about having herpes and then getting pregnant. Genital herpes can be treated safely during pregnancy. You will be offered antiviral tablets which are safe to take during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. A mother can infect her baby during delivery, often fatally. But if a woman had genital herpes before getting pregnant, or if she is first infected early in pregnancy, the chance that her baby will be infected is very low -- less than 1%. Now let’s move into getting herpes while pregnant. If the first episode happens in the first three months of pregnancy, your baby does not have increased risk of developmental problems and it does not increase your risk of miscarriage. If you go into labour less than 6 weeks after the first episode of genital herpes, your immune system would not have had time to produce antibodies to protect your baby. Thus, there is a high chance of passing the virus to your baby if you have a vaginal birth. This is known as neonatal herpes. If you have your first episode earlier in the pregnancy, your immune system will provide protection. In rare cases, if you get an initial herpes infection during your first trimester, the virus could pass through the placenta and cause a miscarriage or serious birth defects. 15-20% of pregnancies have miscarriages so we don’t really know if it was caused from the herpes virus or not. Herpes can also be transmitted to your baby after birth, and the complications can be severe. Ok so now let’s talk about birth.. A mother can infect her baby during delivery, often fatally. But if a woman had genital herpes before getting pregnant, or if she is first infected early in pregnancy, the chance that her baby will be infected is very low -- less than 1%. The risk of infecting the baby is high (30% to 50%) when a woman is newly infected late in pregnancy, however. That's because the mother's immune system has not developed protective antibodies against the virus. Women with an older herpes infection have antibodies against the virus, which help protect the baby. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
This vaccine is one of the most sought out vaccines and it would help millions of people throughout the world. Not to mention on the business side of things how it would monetarily reward the people or company who solved the puzzle. But here’s the deal, as of now there’s no research happening for the herpes vaccine. If you feel like the wind’s been taken out of your sails go watch or read the other episode about waiting for the herpes cure. I promise, having herpes is NOT the end of the world! According to an article published by Healthline, pharmaceutical companies are taking a break from the research. I’ll breakdown what the article has to say. You can also check it out for yourself. The pharma companies have a double-edged sword when it comes to herpes. There are two-thirds of the world population living with herpes and they would really benefit from a vaccine. This means there’s clearly a need but the problem lies in the nature of the viruses. It’s a very complicated virus and so, therefore, it will take multiple millions of dollars to perform the research and clinical trials. At this point, there's been nobody close to the finish line. In fact, the three companies were close to the clinical trial phase and they all three backed out and are now focusing on something different. So to break it down, there’s no clinical trial going on right now working towards a vaccine for herpes. Bummer, right? And I’m sure you’re thinking how is it possible that there’s been research going on for years and millions of dollars spent how’s it possible to have nothing. I mean we have vaccines for HPV, Mesals, Mumps, Hepatitis, Chicken Pox, and the list goes on so why is Herpes such a medical enigma. Well here’s the deal. The virus is very complex. It’s not like other viruses that have a short incubation period and a person typically sees signs of infection rather soon upon being infected. According to Dr. William Schaffner, chair of the Department of Preventive Medicine at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Tennessee The herpes virus is very different from the measles virus, for example,” said Schaffner. He explains the measles virus makes you sick in a relatively short period of time. Our immune system reacts quickly to it and is ready for the virus again should it appear in the future. When it comes to being infected with herpes the virus doesn’t always show up. It has its own agenda. When you're initially infected the virus can lie dormant for months and even years or it can pop up. And then recurring outbreaks are hit and miss, there’s no concrete timeline and the virus just pops up when it wants. Also according to Dr. William, the herpes virus’s DNA is more complicated than the average virus. It’s because it goes dormant in our immune system similar to how many cancer cells do. And because vaccines work by stimulating the human immune system it makes it difficult to inoculate for herpes. Basically, the target keeps moving and they don’t know where to aim. With the herpes virus being super complicated it makes the researcher difficult and very expensive. One of the companies that made it to the phase II clinical trial last year was Genocea Biosciences working on the GEN-003 herpes vaccine. They said they made a lot of progress but they cut the funding for the phase III funding and decided to focus on cancer research. So there you have it! There have been some great attempts to create a vaccine and finding a solution to the gift that keeps on giving. My personal opinion is that there will be someone who finds the funding and put the right team together to find a vaccine. The thing is we just don’t know when it will be. Until then, don’t hold your breath and don’t get caught up in the negative thoughts of being diagnosed with herpes. Like I always say, it’s just a skin disease and that’s it. It pops up here and there but really its nothing worse than having a bad pimple on prom. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Okay so I have both oral herpes and genital herpes. The good news is I get what it’s like to have both oral and genital outbreaks and I also don’t have to worry about getting herpes from anyone else. Lol. Personally I think having oral outbreaks are far worse than having genital outbreaks. I know that might sound crazy, especially because the stigma has made having genital herpes like the worst thing in the world. However, when I have an oral outbreak it really messes with my ego, my self-confidence and I feel like I can’t go anywhere without anyone staring at me. The last time I had an oral outbreak was right before my wedding so I was a little stressed. But I can remember being so mad...like the mad that makes your blood boil. I was humiliated because I had this huge blister on my lip and I felt like I couldn’t touch anyone or be around anyone. I was emotionally a mess. Then not to mention the pain I was in. It was sooooo painful and it hurt to eat and just do normal daily activities. URG...it’s the pits and I totally get all of it. In our Life With Herpes community, I’ve been hearing from you all about this and similar stories. Some are for genital outbreaks and some are for oral outbreaks. It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day herpes is herpes and outbreaks hurt, they put you on an emotional roller coaster and all you want is for it to go away. So here’s the deal...I’ve created a lip balm that will help with recovery time, will lessen the pain and fight the virus to keep it away. THIS IS HUGE and I’m so excited because there’s nothing else out there that has the same fighting & soothing powers as our Secret Society CBD Lip Balm. Using it is my favorite way to calm anxiety, reduce the pain from herpes outbreaks and improve my overall wellbeing. Bam...what could be better?! Here’s how this lip balm works...There is no other product out there on the market that has combined herpes-fighting ingredients as well as CBD to lessen the pain and help soothe on all levels. This is an SPF, moisturizing, Lysine and CBD-infused lip balm that can be used daily to fight against outbreaks both current and preventative. Meanwhile, you’ll be getting hydration to your lips and the CBD will help calm any situation. Win-win all around! And if you’re thinking that you have genital herpes and this doesn’t pertain to you let me explain...Here’s the deal: the CBD isolate in our Secret Society CBD Lip Balm will help you with your anxiety or depression and help you manage your stress level. Typically stress is the cause of an outbreak so the CBD in the lip balm will lessen your mood swings and get you back to a normal level. There have been studies to prove this! Yay science! If you get genital outbreaks as well as oral outbreaks, we recommend buying two (2) Secret Society CB Lip Balms to designate one for your genital region and one for your oral region. You can use something like glitter nail polish or marker and tape to distinguish between the two. This will ensure there’s no back and forth gross stuff going on. Ya, know? Oh, and you don’t have to worry... CBD in the lip balm won’t get you high there’s no THC. Come check it out and see for yourself. Trust me you won’t want to leave home without it and you’re other lip balms or lipsticks will be jealous. Go here to get your lip balm :-)) Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
148: What’s It Like To Date Someone With Herpes With Alexandra Harbushka Life With Herpes.com has been used as a resource for people who are dating someone with herpes or want to date someone with herpes. The good news is now all the information is at our fingertips and there’s a community there to help. This situation of liking someone with herpes comes up a lot. It’s not as uncommon as you think considering that one out of sex people have HS2 and two out of three have HSV1. There are many couples where one has the virus and the other does not. So don’t think you have to find someone who has you’re the same virus. Anyway, when you’re in the shoes of not having herpes and you’re partner has “the herpes talk” the ball is now in you’re court. Here’s the great news, your partner cares about you and wanted to be open and honest and told you. It’s a really hard conversation for us with herpes to have so make sure you acknowledge that tender conversation. With the information you’ve now received it’s up to you to take that information and decide how you want to process it. There’s a couple of ways this could go. It’s a this is awesome because I have herpes too It’s an immediate no It’s a maybe and let me learn more It’s an I don’t care Ok the obvious two best cases are either if you both have herpes or if you just don’t care. But I’m guessing because you’re reading this you do care and you don’t have herpes. Here’s what I’m going to suggest you do. It’s going to be important that you have all the information you need. I recommend going to our FAQ page where we have just about every question imaginable. Read through there and get your questions answered. It’s important to know about the herpes virus and how it will affect or not affect your life. I’ve had people break up with people because they assumed one thing or another about their herpes virus and come to find out they actually had it too and didn’t know it was the same thing. So, the moral of the story education is knowledge. Also, this is a great time for you and your potential partner to go and get tested. You never know, you may have herpes and don’t even know it. It happens all the time. Oh and if you get cold sores..yeah, that’s herpes. So it’s important that you get tested and know where you both stand before you get between the sheets. At the end of the day, herpes or not, having sex with someone is a big deal. Yes, we’re in the casual sex era but it’s still a big deal and with that being said coming in contact with the wrong viruses can change your life and have a major impact on your health. So, take this seriously and go get tested with your partner. Now you have to decide if this person is worth the risk or not. In any relationship, there is “something” that you have to make a decision on. There’s something that you weren’t planning on and you get to make that decision if it’s worth it for you. Just remember to fall in love like you’ve never been hurt. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
When you have an itch, a tingle or maybe slept with someone that you know has herpes the automatic OMG phase kicks in. It turns to panic and your mind will take you down the rabbit hole of horrible thoughts. Oh and then you turn to google. PLEASE, whatever you do...don’t turn to google. You’re in the right spot to find out more answers and not see scary photos on the internet. There are 3 basic ways to confirm you have herpes. But before we break it down let’s talk a little bit about symptoms and what that feels like. I talk about this in detail here so you can go check it out too. Symptoms can be slightly different for everyone and sometimes symptoms can pop up immediately after a person comes in contact with the virus and then sometimes it can take, months, weeks or years. But her are some common symptoms: Blistery sores Burning when you pee if you have sores Trouble peeing if you have sores covering your urethra Itching or pain around your genitals Sometimes the blisters can blee Swollen, tender glands in the pelvic area, throat, or under the arms Fever Chills Fatigue Headache General run-down feelings Achy, flu-like feelings Also if you’re experiencing any, all or some of this. STOP RIGHT NOW AND GO GET TESTED! No reason to keep yourself in this space of anxiety and freaking out mode. Here are the 3 way’s to know you have herpes: Visually So this is pretty self-explanatory. If you see bumps, and they’re painful and you have flu-like symptoms then most likely it's a herpes outbreak. A way to diagnose by looking at the area visually is called a clinical diagnosis. This is when a medical professional examiner looks at the symptoms. The great news with this is it can be done through a Tela Health company like HerpAlert, where you don’t need to even leave your house. The potential downside is there’s no way to know what strain you have if it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2. This is something that may not be important to you but you can always have a blood test done in the future and get that all sorted out. Blood test Having a blood test done can be helpful to tell you what strain you have, HSV 1 or HSV 2, but it doesn’t tell you where you have it or how long you’ve had it. The way this works is the blood test is looking for antibodies for the herpes virus. This can take some time for it to show up in your system. So in some cases, people who have herpes will go in for a blood test and the antibodies have not made it into your system yet. In this case, this person would have a blood test that’s negative for herpes, however, if they came back in a few weeks they would test positive. It can sound confusing but if you get a positive test result for herpes with a blood test then you can pretty much guarantee that you’re positive. Culture test So this test only works when there’s an outbreak. When there’s no outbreak or viral shedding happening you’re going to test negative for herpes. In other words, you have to have a culture or a sample from the sore to see the live virus under the microscope. Now you can get a false reading if you were just exposed and the virus hasn’t had time to settle in or if you’re on the tail end of your outbreak and the healing or scabbing has started. So as we talk through all of this if you’re in this freak out mode I want you to stop what you’re doing and get tested. I recommend using HerpAlert because they specialize in herpes and are a telehealth company but it doesn’t matter just go get tested. But what the important thing is to do is talk to your doctor and tell them how long you’re symptoms have been going on. Like I mentioned earlier, you may have just been exposed so getting a blood test won’t help you at all. And if you have sores or blisters but you’ve waited too long to get in and have a culture test done then you’re going to get a negative result. Tell your doctor everything and let them decide the best way to proceed. And again...I’m beating a dead horse but please do yourself a favor and if you think you have herpes then go get tested. Just don’t think it’ll go away or think that maybe it’s some weird skin rash. You owe it to yourself to treat your body right and get the proper diagnosis. This way you can get the antiviral and get onto your path of recovery soon. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
This is one of the most pressing questions and the answer often leads to heartache. I hear questions like this daily saying… “How is there no cure to herpes?” “Why is there no vaccine when we have a vaccine for practically everything else?” “When will there be a vaccine?” “Will there be a cure?” “Is there something that will prevent outbreaks permanently?” Here’s the deal. I get it, I’ve felt this way and wondered about it too. The truth is don’t hold your breath and also don’t let this hope of a vaccine hold you back from living your life. I hear many people who are in our Secret Society say things like, “oh I’ll just wait for the vaccine before I start dating.” Ok, this sounds like a great idea and it sounds like you’re being a responsible sexually active adult however it also sounds like you’re putting you’re happy in the hands of a vaccine. And that is on the verge of the victim situation and if you know me, I’m huge on not being a victim to herpes. Here’s the deal, herpes is a skin disease that causes uncomfortable blisters from time to time. That’s all! It’s nothing more than a dramatized pimple. It’s not a scapegoat for you to become a recluse and become asexual and never go on a date or fall in love or get married or have children or whatever it is you want in life. It’s just an uncomfortable bump that pops up and then goes away a couple of days later. The herpes vaccine is almost like Uber. Now hear me out… Before Uber, our only way of transportation besides a private driver or public transportation and of course, mom, was calling a Taxi. Well, as soon as Uber began to transform the way, everyone gets around now the taxi drivers have been in an uproar. Basically Uber has taken their income and their lively hood. Some cities, such as Las Vegas, outlawed Uber and other’s did a good job at keeping them at bay to protect the taxi unions but eventually, convenience wone and the demand was too high. So what did this mean for the taxi drivers, they either could sit in their cab and complained to other cab drivers because they weren’t driving or they could become Uber drivers too. Where I’m going with this and the whole herpes thing is the choice of becoming a victim and waiting for a vaccine before you can live your life is total BS. It’s no different than the taxi driver just sitting on the side of the road with his meter light on saying he’s available for a ride. Will there be a cure or a vaccine? I’m sure there will be. I mean we can put a man on the moon, find cures to horrible diseases and break the sound barrier with our jets. It’s just a matter of the right people, the right technology and the other biggie… money. Until then, live your life with herpes and don’t let it hold you back. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Ok so we have herpes and now we want to know what we can do to prevent getting the next outbreak. Because the less often we have outbreaks the less we think about having herpes. It’s kinda the out of sight out of mind. Just a quick reminder that if you have HSV you’ll have it for life, so just because you’re not getting outbreaks it won't mean that you’re cured or in the clear. You’ll still have to tell you’re partners. Ok, I just wanted to get that out there. As we’ve all heard that a healthy lifestyle will improve your overall life, relationships with key people in your life as well as it can improve your health. Well these basic lifestyle choices So let’s talk about some reasons why we get herpes and how we can prevent them with some lifestyle choices. Meanwhile, sometimes getting an outbreak is kinda out of your control when it comes to lifestyle but you being aware can help you prepare and be aware of what’s going down. First is stress on your body. Now, we can’t eliminate all stress because it’s just a part of life. It’d be like trying to remove air from the room. It’s just not possible. And even sometimes stress can be a good thing that motivates us and keeps us achieving. But when it comes to herpes, if we put too much stress on our bodies it can cause an outbreak. So things like final exams, new job, moving, new relationships, stress at work, financial stress, stress at home, too busy of a schedule and so on. These things are all transitions that we’ll experience through life and you’re herpes virus will be part of it too. The key for us is to be aware that this can cause an outbreak. So an example is if you’re preparing for finals do you’re best to not pull all-nighters with sugar-free Redbull. We all know that studying a bit a day and getting proper sleep will be a less stressful way to study for your final. Trust me, I get it. I was in college too and sometimes all the exams pile up especially if there’s a really important party happening next door. My point is to be aware, pick your battles and make the decision. Don’t be surprised if an outbreak shows up and make sure you have your antiviral on hand or your home remedies for when it does. Next is a low immune system. I never realized how key an immune system is until I started not taking care of my body and running myself into the ground. And then boom, one cold after the next or just that sluggish feeling. Now, add a herpes diagnosis to it and it’s a perfect recipe for an outbreak or multiple outbreaks. Our immune system is like a little army that fights off disease to keep us strong and healthy. Just like a real army, when they’re not rested or not properly equipped for what’s ahead there’s a potential for an attack and letting the bad guys in. The same goes for our bodies, our immune system is fighting around the clock to keep us healthy and if we make some poor choices then it’s an opportunity for an outbreak. Some of these choices are lack of sleep or not getting proper sleep, eating a poor diet full of perversities or sugar, not eating enough protein, not getting proper exercise and just overall hygiene. Personally, I think sleep is a huge portion to a strong immune system. When you sleep you’re body recovers and get’s ready to take on the next day. If you’re not getting enough sleep then you’re body can’t recover and then you just continue on a path of harming your health. Take a minute to look at your sleep, diet and exercise plan. I’m not saying you need to sign up for a triathlon, I’m saying get outside and walk around the block and get some fresh air. Also, look at what you’re eating and maybe you start bringing your lunch to work instead of ordering the double-double with fries. All of these little things add up and play a role in preventing herpes outbreaks. Ok and finally, this is one that we really can’t control too much and it’s our hormones. This is more for the women because we have hormone spikes and drops monthly due to our menstrual cycle. Also, as women, we tend to take birth control which of course manipulates our hormones as well. It’s super common for women to get outbreaks a couple of days before their period or when they’re ovulating. There’s just a lot of different hormones moving around through the 28 days. And then of course if you go on birth control or go off birth control or change your birth control. All of this can be a little shock to your system and throw you off just enough to get an outbreak. So, in some cases, women will take the antiviral during their periods to just prevent the outbreaks from popping up or they’ll take it to easy these days, do some Netflix and chill and cut down on their busy schedule to take care of themselves. I know it sounds hard but it’s possible. Ok, so as you know, look at this as a recommendation. Take the time to evaluate what’s going on in your life and lifestyle so that you can maybe make some adjustments. Maybe you’re reading this and you’re giving yourself high fives because you’re doing the right things. But if you’re not don’t beat yourself up, just make a little adjustment at a time. Life is a journey, not a sprint and your health won't change overnight. You’ll see gradual little changes after a period of time. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
This is one of the scariest things that cross our minds when we’re first diagnosed with herpes. A typical thought that goes through our minds is how awful our diagnosis was and how we’d never want anyone to experience the physical pain of the outbreak. Sometimes we feel like the guilt of giving herpes to someone would be the worst thing too. I get asked all the time in our Secret Society about how to deal with giving herpes to your partner. The truth is I’ve never touched on this because I’ve never passed herpes to my partners. I’ve only wanted to talk about experiences that I’ve personally had. But this is something that happens all the time so It’s something I’ve needed to talk about. I reached out to the Secret Society for thier stories so that as a community we could talk about this today. Regardless of passing it or not we still have to have the conversation with our partner about having herpes. This is very hard to do but so worth it. If you wait until you’ve had sex or are in a relationship to tell them it will be harder and you face a couple of obstacles. Either the person won’t trust you or you could unknowingly pass herpes to them. Now you’re in a pickle. I talk about this in other episodes so you’ll have to check them out. But back to giving him or her herpes. Clearly, this is not our intention and people with herpes generally don’t want to go passing it along. In fact, this very thought keeps a lot of us from dating or becoming intimate with someone. And this is very sad to me. Something that’s helped me is I’ve come to find comfort knowing that it’s really out of my hands. Yes, at first in my relationships I’d always freak out and think that I’m going to pass it. I can remember having anxiety attacks over it. So trust me I get it. It really wasn't until my husband and at that time he was my boyfriend and I had a talk about it. And that talk clicked in my mind. He said to me that if I was worried about passing him herpes while we were having sex then we shouldn’t have sex. He said that he wasn’t worried about it and if that’s what I was thinking about then we need to stop. And if you think about it that’s really a great solution. This can be for anything really if you’re mind is not in it and you’re having an internal dialog with yourself about something completely different then it’s not fair to you or your partner to be having sex. It’s all about getting present in the situation. But let’s get back to how to handle transmitting herpes to your partner. At the end of the day, you have to remember that it wasn’t up to you. If you’ve done these things then you’ve done everything you can to protect them. Don't Feel Guilty About Herpes Transmission If You've Done These's 4 Things Disclosed to partner you have herpes You both agree on prevention method. Sex was consensual You’ve talked to you’re partner about your outbreaks and also let them know if you've just had one In my opinion, if you’ve done this then you have to let the guilt go. You’re partner made the decision to have sex with you knowing the risk. I hate using the word risk but it’s true. He or she consciously knew that having sex could potentially transmit herpes and they decided to do it anyway. Of course, there are the times when we forgot to tell our partner because we were in the heat of the moment or didn't feel comfortable having the conversation. If your partner blames you or puts you down in any way it’s going to be up to you to stand up for yourself. You did nothing wrong and your partner made the decision. This is such a hot topic and can be emotional, let me know your thoughts or your story. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Let’s talk about those three little words that are brought up when you’re dating. So I overheard someone say that it's so hard to say those three little words. I immediately thought of the words I LOVE YOU. Right? I mean wouldn't you? We’ve been so marketed to by hallmark and diamonds are for every type of campaigns that when we think of the three little words we think of I LOVE YOU. But as the conversation continued and I heard the three words they were not I love you but were I HAVE HERPES. I honestly can’t remember where I heard this but I thought it was a great question and even better for us to have a discussion about. Right? So the thought crossed my mind, is it harder to say I love you or I have herpes? I’ll share my personal experiences with the words I love you and my experience with I have herpes. Both are equally important words and both can change the course of your relationship. I mean if you say, “ I love you” too early in a relationship it can be doomed. I mean you might send the other person running for the hills or heck, you might even be that person running. Lol… we’ve all been the person who is the stage five clinger and all about the I love yous way to soon and we’ve all been on the receiving end of that I love you when suddenly there’s an awful gulp in your throat. Regardless the three little words are very strategic. Now let’s talk about saying, “I have herpes” too soon. Because of the herpes stigma that’s not something you can just drop on someone. Think about it, the same thing can happen as I love you. Some people will run away as fast as they can and others will be totally fine with it. But a ton of it has to do with how and when you say it. So in my personal experiences, I’d tell guys I have herpes without even thinking about it. Whether this is right or wrong I’d use it as a way to get out of sleeping with them. Again… don’t judge me for it. And of course sometimes my plan would backfire on me and I would have to come up with some other excuse...lol. But there were two men that I dated and wanted to date and wanted to sleep with that I had both conversations with. One is my ex-boyfriend and the other was my husband. Obviously, we know how it turned out with my husband, Bill. But don’t worry, I’ll share that story too. When it came time to tell my ex-boyfriend that I had herpes I was really nervous. We’d been dating for about 3 months but we’d known each other for a number of years so I felt pretty comfortable with him. But still we were dating for 3 months and I wasn’t sure where our relationship was going. Were we just yoga, Saturday farmers market, and dinner date friends or were we going to take our relationship to the next level and have sex? I knew I couldn't just put in his court and see if he made a move. If I waited for him to make the move I’d feel like it would have been a bad time to have the I Have Herpes convo. Right? So I decided to tell him over dinner one Saturday night. We were at a local San Diego restaurant across the street from my house, Bankers Hill Bar. It’s so good by the way and totally get the burger! Anyway, we were having dinner and I decided to tell him. I said, “I have herpes.” And then went eek in my mind. I have to say telling him that I have herpes was not only more difficult than saying I love you to him but the most difficult guy to tell. I honestly can’t remember when we started saying I love you. He probably said it first but it could be the other way around. I really can’t remember. But we dated for three years so obviously the I have herpes conversation went well. He did a really good job of asking questions, trusting me and at the end of the day, he wanted to be with me and didn’t care. Also, he never got herpes. We had a great relationship and we both were open and communicated. In this particular situation having the “I Have Herpes,” talk was much harder. Now let’s talk about my husband, Bill. Before I started writing this and prepping for the post I brought this up to Bill. I said, “what do you think of this topic?”Do you like the idea of I love you and I have herpes? What was so interesting is we started to talk about our relationship. And I realized that telling Bill I love him and telling Bill that I have herpes were both easy conversations. I mean really easy. Why? Probably because I knew in my heart and soul that we loved each other and I knew that having herpes didn't matter. I also had done a ton of work on myself and truly believed that if anyone didn’t love everything about me including herpes he wasn’t worth my time. And I knew that Bill loved all of me. Ok.. so I know you’re like get to the story about telling Bill. Well, I can remember right where I was when I told him I loved him and right where I was when I told him I have herpes. Both were beautiful moments. When I told Bill I have herpes, we weren't dating we weren't even together. We worked together and our work team was like family. So Bill noticed that something wasn’t right and asked what was wrong. This was the day that I was diagnosed with herpes so clearly, I was at my lowest point. I told him, “I have herpes” and I collapsed on the floor crying. He was so sweet and said you’re a strong and beautiful person you will get through this and I ‘m here for you. I consider you my family so please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I still have the voicemail he left me after this conversation. It was so touching. Let me fast forward a couple of years to the I love you. So I’m sure you can imagine that when I told Bill I loved him there was no big lump in my throat or bad feeling in my tummy. It was the exact opposite and I couldn't wait to tell him that I loved him. So it happened when we were having a conversation about dating. We weren't dating yet and were having the adult conversation about it. You know how that goes, once you date it changes the course of your and we wanted to make sure we discussed it all. So in that conversation I just blurted out, I Love You!” And Bill looked up at me and said, “I love you too!” It was natural and not hard to say. It was a precious moment. Ok so to wrap this up...I’m going to throw the question back to you? I’ve had all the combinations of the I Love You’s and the I have herpes convos. All of them were unique and all of them happened at the right time for where we were in the relationship. So what do you think is harder? Have you had the conversations? Let me know. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Dating as a whole can be scary, fun, the time of your life or when will this phase be over. We put so much pressure on ourselves to not waste time and find “the one”. Most of the time we forget to enjoy the person who’s in front of us for who they are. We quickly get rid of or move on from someone because they don’t fit this “mold” we put in our heads. It’s totally possible to date someone just because you have fun. Back to talking about being so focused on “the one”. Back when I was dating I had the guy who I chilled with and drank wine the guy who I went to yoga with, the guy who loved to take me to fancy Italian dinners, the guy who I’d hike with, the guy I’d go to the farmers market with, the guy who I’d go clubbing with, the guy I’d meet for breakfast and guy I ‘d have sex with. Keep in mind they were all not at the same time and this was over a course of a couple of years but they all survived their purpose until it was the right timing for my husband and me to come together. Ok so now let’s add in the dreaded dark secret of having herpes. One of the things that hold us back from dating at all is the fear of having to disclose the herpes thing. Ok well, remember all the different guys I dated… the majority of them didn’t know that I had herpes. Why? Not because I was too scared to tell them but because I wasn't sleeping with them. Of course, the men I’ve slept with knew about my herpes diagnosis. I just want to make that a full disclosure. But I want to get back to the notion that we don’t have to sleep with everyone or disclose to everyone just because we’re dating. Think about it. Not everyone can be “the one”! We can’t fall in love with everyone and have sex with everyone and be in a relationship with everyone. It’s simply not possible. 3 Things to follow when dating with herpes: 1. Did you have fun? So when you go out and do whatever you do with this person ask yourself when you get home if you had fun. Did you laugh and enjoy your time and want to do it again? If your answer no then moves on. THere’s plenty of fish in the sea and no reason to keep spending time with someone who you didn’t have fun with. 2. Would you sleep with him/her? This one is a great one to ask yourself too. We can get caught up in our heads about “who” we’re supposed to be attracted to and who we’re supposed to be with. Let’s face it sometimes we are attached to someone we never thought we’d be into. Before you get all worked up on the sleeping part and disclosing just ask yourself, would you? Before moving onto the 3rd point I want you to ponder the first two questions. If you’ve answered yes to both of the questions then keep hanging out. Keep going out and doing what you guys like to do. Don’t worry if this person is the one or not. Don’t worry if he or she will be ok with the herpes thing. Oh, and we’ll get to the herpes disclosure soon but please don’t self punish and not call your date back because you have herpes. If you’ve answered no to any of the questions then most likely you should end it right there. I mean why hang out with someone you really don’t enjoy spending time with. And if you can’t sleep with them then that’s not going to go far either. 3. You don’t have to disclose until you’re ready to expose them to the virus Now I know this is the big one. The disclosure! It really stops a lot of people from dating in the first place. But truly keep this in mind, you don’t have to tell anyone unless you want to. BUT and there’s a huge but, if you’re going to expose them then you have to tell them. But until then no need to divulge everything. I go back to the example about if you were 500k in debt would you tell the person on the first few dated? My guess is no. So why do you need to talk about herpes? I mean you probably wouldn’t mention you had testicular cancer or abnormal pap smears until you’ve gotten a little bit deeper into the relationship. Going to yoga or a movie doesn’t mean you have to tell you’re secret. Keep in mind these are suggestions and more like guidelines. Feel free to date who you like, when you like and disclose when you want. It’s you’re life and the great news is you get to write the script. Let me know you’re thoughts on this. This is something we cover almost weekly in our Secret Society so if you’re between a rock and hard place with this idea of dating and telling your partner come join our next Support Group. Here’s more details. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Ok, great news, HerpAlert has some exciting new features and I can’t wait to share them with you all. As you know I absolutely love saying the name HerpAlert! But a quick refresher on HerpAlert in case you missed it or are new to the Life With Herpes community, HerpAlert’s an online herpes diagnosis and treatment resource. So if you’re wondering if you have herpes and want a clinical diagnosis ASAP you’d want to go to HerpAlert.com and fill out your symptoms, upload a picture of the infection and boom a doctor will be in touch with you within the hour. I dedicated an entire episode to this a while back so you can go here to reference it if you have any questions. Oh and use the promo code: lifewithherpes to save 10% on your treatment. So the new cool feature HerpAlert’s come out with is an easy one-stop place for us folks living with herpes. Have you ever been in the situation where you got an outbreak and didn’t have your antiviral? Yep, me too. So then you immediately call your pharmacy to refill the prescription ASAP so your outbreak doesn’t get worse and then you hear on the other line, “we're sorry you’re out of refills.” Ok so then the next step is call your doctor, wait on hold, talk to the receptionist who takes a message, the message then goes to the bottom of the pile on your doctor’s desk and you get a call back 4 days later from the scheduling office letting you know that your doctor wants you to come in so he or she can see you to refill your prescription. So now you’re like WTF… I have a full blown outbreak and I need this medicine now! Sound familiar? Yep, we’ve all been there. So here’s how HerpAlert’s solved this problem and made it easy for you and me. They now offer a monthly service where you can log back into your safe and secure member portal and update any changes that may have happened since your last refill and boom...a HerpAlert doctor will review your symptoms and refill your prescription within the hour! This is super cool and super helpful because if you’re like me you don’t have the time nor do you want the headache of scheduling your appointment, then going in for your doctors visit and then waiting for your prescription to be filled. I mean that’s a ton of extra time wasted and you could be on the road to recovery. Here’s a quick download of the HerpAlert monthly subscription benefits: Your convenience and your time You are a top priority to the HerpAlert doctors Get your prescription refilled within 1 hour Only one stop to pick up your prescription You get to connect with your HerpAlert doctor monthly and update them on any changes in your life Alright so as you can see this is a miracle for us busy people with herpes. Just think about the ability to be able to connect with a doctor on your time and get the herpes treatment you need and want. Oh and I forgot to mention this monthly subscription is just $29 a month. Ok so go here to learn more and join.
Ok, so we’ve all heard of how important it is to have a strong immune system. It keeps colds away and it also can keep you from getting herpes outbreaks. Obviously, we want to do everything we can to keep the herpes virus from popping up and causing a painful outbreak. What we put in our bodies plays a big role in how we feel, sleep our energy levels as well as our immune system. I’m sure by this point you’ve eaten a meal and then after felt like a slug or not so hot. Either you were bloated or it didn’t sit well in your tummy or it kept you up all night. Most likely you ate something that didn’t agree with you because of one reason or another but your body had to work harder to digest it and chances are that lowered your immune system. A lowered immune system means...you guessed it. A herpes outbreak! As you know from past episodes we’ve talked about lysine and arginine and foods that combat herpes outbreaks. But what we haven't talked a ton about is foods that can lower your immune system and potentially cause an outbreak. Oh and like I always say, use this as a reference and don’t stress yourself out over it. The last thing I want you to do is get all stressed out and then boom...an outbreak. Fast food can really put a damper on your immune system. Now we all know that fast food isn’t good for us. We hear that all the time yet we really don’t know the reason. Well, there was a study done on eating fast foods and how it relates to your immune system, basically what happens is it reprograms the way your immune system reacts and puts it on high alert! When your body’s on a high alert stage it really does a number on the immune system and it doesn’t let your body function normally. So think again if you’re using fast food as a crutch and an easy way to get a meal. MSG is one that I don’t think too often about. I guess because it’s not really in the foods that I typically eat. Or at least I think so. I know that for some people, like my nice, she gets migraines if she eats MSG so one of the things she avoids is popcorn at the movie theater. Ok so what does MSG have to do with your immune system...well it’s pretty harsh on your precious immune system. Ok so studies shown that MSG can make changes to your thymus and spleen. Ok so if you’re like me and are like...ok what does that mean? They both are key players in your immune system. They both make lymphocytes, which take out foreign invaders; your spleen also makes antibodies that help keep you well. So basically it disrupts your immune system. The good news is that studies show that by removing MSG from your diet your spleen and thymus can go back to normal but it might take a while. You can research what foods contain MSG but just to give you a quick rundown; fast food, salty snacks, seasonings, cold cuts, iced tea mixes sports drinks and soy sauce. Gluten has gotten a bad rap recently. It feels like in the 90’s everyone was on the low-fat diet which meant pasts and mostly gluten foods but now we’re off the low fat and totally off gluten. Yes, there are some people who have celiac disease or are gluten intolerant and can not have gluten. However, gluten can be very harmful on your system. What happens as it passes through your system, it triggers the production of a protein called zonulin, which breaks down the cells of your intestinal walls. When this happens it gives toxins, food particles, and other harmful substances and open door policy to have free rein to get into your bloodstream. A lot of times this causes an unwanted immune response and leaving you feeling less than your best. This goes for people who are intolerant and people who are not. Try to cut back your gluten intake there are so many other options out there now. Sugar and we’ve heard this a ton just like we’ve heard about how fast food is bad for us. But here's why sugar has a direct effect on your immune system. You know how we talk about good bacteria and bad bacteria? Well, the bad bacteria thrives on sugar… it's an all you can eat buffet for them! And just like other living organisms, the more we eat the more we grow and breed. Same thing goes for these bad bacteria the more sugar we give them the more they grow and then crowd out the good bacteria in our intestines. Another way sugar impacts our immune system is by impacting the absorption levels of vitamin c, and we all know that vitamin c plays a huge role in our immune system. You know how people always say take vitamin c when you’re sick. Anyway, The more sugar in your system, the harder it is for your immune cells to get the vitamin C they need to function, resulting in an up to 40% decrease in effectiveness lasting for hours after you consume the sugar! Ok so we could go on and on about other foods that can be harmful to your overall health but I don’t want you to walk away and feel like you can’t eat anything. Here’s what I want you to do. Be aware of what you’re putting in your body. The form of foods meaning the most natural ways is the best. I guess what I’m saying is the fewer ingredients the better. I’ve heard the saying that if your grandmother wouldn’t know what it is then you shouldn’t eat it. Fast food is exactly what it is...fast food so maybe if you take the time to meal prep and get your work lunches planned out for the week then you’ll cut out swinging through the drive-through. Just take a second to think before you eat and think to yourself is this going to be the best thing for my overall health. Herpes or not would this benefit my body. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
Ep 132 is in the can: Is Joe Biden really getting the nomination? Freeze connects on the head at 300 Yards. PPU ammo is a John1911 Favorite. MSNBC admits gun control allows Maduro survival. IV8888 gets paid for gun reviews faux outrage. NRA is screwing up badly with it's members. Blaser confirms 22lr kits for R8 hit US in July. The GRS Ragnarok Chassis impresses. Farrakhan is "right wing" according to media. The Coachella Herp-Alert Story. Marky & Freeze www.John1911.com "Shooting Guns & Having Fun"
We are back! We get into G.O.T ep3 and the Avengers movie! HerpAlert at Coachella. 0-2 has that NBA talk playoff action And some country trap music.
This week the guys speak about the massive herpes outbreak that occurred during Coachella weekend, Ice Cube & other prominent black figures come together to invest in a number of sport networks, another apparent ebola "outbreak" in Africa, Hov's recent freestyle on stage at Webster Hall & his cultural influence and much more. Hear it all on this week's new episode. Created & curated by: Dominique/Abdalla IG: @tresrare_nico/@mrhazel_ Podcast IG: @brothersspodcast Twitter: @VeryrareNico/@MrHazel_ Email: brothersspodcast@gmail.com Enjoy Rate & Subscribe !
When we look down and see a bump or a cut or a red spot it’s either one of two reactions. Either it’s an OMG WTF I’m going to die or we just shrug it off and assume it’s nothing. Which one are you? In other episodes, I talk about in detail what herpes symptoms are, what they look like and how you’re going to feel. Today I want to get the nitty-gritty on what’s not herpes. If you’re wondering about symptoms go here to check out past episode 101 here. What’s Not Herpes: Pimple which includes whiteheads, blackheads & cysts Ingrown hair Canker sore Contact Dermatitis (Skin rashes) - from poison ivy, laundry detergent, perfumes, medications, lotions, etc. Scabies Jock itch Bug Bites Yeast infection Syphilis Gonorrhea So normally I don’t recommend going to google because there are so many scary photos up there and then it can become daunting and plain scary. I mean I’m the type of person who takes my dog to the vet and I look at the heartworm photos and think that I have heartworm. So.. if that’s you then do your best to stay away. But, if you’re wondering about any of the items I discussed earlier and want to know more then check it out. Here’s the thing, nobody ever thinks that it’s herpes. But, the majority of the population has herpes so if you see something that raises your eyebrow or makes you wonder to go get it checked out. ASAP. Living in limbo is worse than the diagnosis. To seek herpes treatment and potential diagnosis go here to HerpAlert. Use the promo code: lifewithherpes to receive 10% off. I’m obsessed with HerpAlert and what they offer when it comes to privacy, the ability to talk to an MD doctor and receive a diagnosis within the hour. Check them out. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
This episode we discuss Beyonce's new album and netflix special "Homecoming", Coachella's herpe outbreak, updates and R Kelly & Jussie Smollett, and much more! Song: Beyonce - Before I let go Lit or spent Morgan Alexis - "Homecoming" (Beyonce's Special) 5 out of 5 A.Shaw - The Silence (2 out of 5) www.freealbertwilson.com https://www.gofundme.com/uncutpodcast Uncut Podcast Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/2850134-uncut-podcast-tee?store_id=165811 follow us on Instagram @uncutpodcast email us uncutpod@gmail.com Available on itunes,soundcloud,googleplay,and castbox!
This week the ladies discuss what to expect expect after college and provide tips on how to navigate the career realm. Bianca wants you to be aware of HerpAlert. Shawnee stresses the importance of networking. Self Care Share Five Money Musts game: https://digital.fidelity.com/prgw/digital/five-money-musts#/home P.T.B. Blk + In Grd School Website: https://www.blkingradschool.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/blk-in-grad-school/id1299439445 IG: @blkingradschool Twitter: @blkingradschool
Recorded Talking with Occasional Guests is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Stand-up Comedian Sam Goldstein. “Recorded Talking” is exactly what it is, the capturing of genuine conversations between human beings. In this episode Sam talks about beer commercials, Coachella, "HerpAlert" and some of his mentors in the world of comedy before or during completely getting sidetracked. Recorded Talking Soundtrack - Zzyzx by LoOmis
Friday fun with an ice cream mystery! Plus... Grandfathers, dentists, the New York football Giants... and Oscar's Take!
Let's talk about sex, getting tested and standing up for your sexual health! Thank goodness we are in a time in history where we can have an STD awareness month. And have a plethora of information to educate ourselves so that we can protect ourselves and our partners. STD’s or STI’s have a huge stigma but the thing is that there’s a 110 million Americans living with STI’s. In case you’re wondering how many Americans there are about 325 million Americans. So this means that 34% of Americans have an STD/STI. This is huge and to think there’s still a stigma is frustrating. So let me break this down, according to the CDC there’s: 20 million new STI cases a year 50% of the cases are in young people from ages 15-24 Only 12% of the young people say they’ve been tested So what does this mean...we need to educate and learn how to talk about sex and have the confidence to stand up for our sexual health? This means that it’s ok to ask your partner to wear a condom and if your partner refuses then it’s ok to say NO. It’s ok to require your partner to get tested for STI’s before having sex. If your partner doesn’t want to get tested or won’t share the results with you then it should be a red flag to say NO. It’s ok to ask you’re a partner if they have other partners. Basically what I’m saying is you need to stand up for yourself and have a conversation with your partner before becoming sexually active as well as once you’ve begun a sexual relationship. Here’s what you need to do to protect yourself: Talk about your sexual heal with your partner Get tested before having sex Find out if you’re exclusive or if there are multiple partners Use protection aka. Condoms, I know I talk about this all the time but I need to make sure I mention it today is just because you ask for a STD test it doesn’t mean that you’ve been tested for herpes. Yep! Shocking right? So you specifically have to ask for a herpes test. I’ve heard from our Secret Society members that in some countries it’s hard to get a herpes test unless you have signs of blisters. But...it’s your health and you need to stand up for you! This can sound kinda corny but it’s true. I mean I believe sex is a natural part of life but it doesn’t mean that you need to become sexually active until you’re ready. So with that being said, sex is a choice. It’s 100% up to you to decide when you want to have sex so with that being said you need to make sure you’re 100% ready to have the sexual health talk and take proper precautions to get tested and talk to your partner. Truly there’s nothing sexier than communicating and getting vulnerable together before jumping between the sheets. If you want to learn more about getting tested for herpes go to HerpAlert.com. I’m obsessed with the company because they are the leading telehealth company for herpes diagnosis. It’s private and an MD will diagnoses you within the hour and have your prescription sent to your pharmacy of choice. It’s that simple. Oh, and if you use the promo code:lifewithherpes you’ll get 10% off. Go to HerpAlert and check it out. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
We’ve all heard the saying people talk about sexual diseases and don’t catch one. We’re taught in sex ed “or maybe we’re taught” that having sex can lead to STI’s, in our case herpes and other things. And so with that said we go out into the world and become sexually active and think that the only way we can get “something” is by having sex. The other big thing we’re told is that if you use a condom then you’re fine but that’s another whole topic. So…today I want to talk about way’s herpes can be transmitted to protect you and you’re partners. Before we go into the sexual ways herpes can be transmitted let's do a little breakdown on why and how herpes is transmitted. Also if you want to get the full deets on herpes you can click here. Herpes is a virus and it’s skin to skin transmission. So, in other words, you catch herpes from touching someone else who has the herpes virus. Don’t freak out, this does not mean that if you touch someone you’ll immediately get herpes or if you have herpes you can never have human contact again. What it means is if you touch someone in the area that the person is infected in then you’re at a pretty high risk of contracting the herpes virus. So for example, if you have genital herpes and you hug someone then you are not at risk of transmitting herpes. Unless, of course, you used your genitals to hug someone...lol. So does that make sense? Here’s another example, if you have oral herpes and you have sex with someone and don’t kiss them then the person is not at risk of getting herpes. I just want to clarify that if you have oral herpes you have to use your mouth to transmit it and the same thing goes for genital herpes, you have to use your genitals to transmit herpes. Now that we have an understanding of how herpes transmission works let’s go into sexual ways you can transmit herpes. Oral sex - Ok so most of us don’t think that STI’s or STD’s can be transmitted with oral sex. But the truth is it can. In fact, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, and hepatitis b can be transmitted through oral sex, the only thing that’s 100% not possible is pregnancy. What this means is oral sex is not a great solution to not having a condom or an easy way to “not have the conversation” about safe sex. Oral sex transmission is just as probable as vaginal sex. THere’s a lot of new herpes cases that pop up from just having oral sex. Anal sex - this is not as common as vaginal sex or oral sex however, you can still transmit herpes and other STD’s with anal sex. This again goes back to the skin to skin transmission. The herpes virus likes the anus just as much as other parts of the genital area. In fact, that's typically where I get my outbreaks and I know I’m not alone because there’s a lot of members in our secret society who get their outbreaks there too and are confused about why it’s there. Foreplay - I looked up the definition of foreplay and basically to get to the point its, sexual behavior that precedes sexual intercourse. What does that mean or what does that cover? That means that there’s touching! Whatever you and your partner want to do during foreplay is up to you but my guess is that there’s some type of skin to skin contact and I’d say the majority of the time there’s no condom or protection being used. So just because you’re not having “sex” you’re not out of the woods. Herpes can still be transmitted. Spooning or cuddling - Ok so you’re either keeping it PG or you’ve just finished either way there’s a possibility for herpes transmission. A perfect example of this is after sex the condom comes off and there’s potential cuddle time. And with cuddle time comes skin to skin contact. And with that comes the potential for transmission. Or you’re not even doing anything sexual but you’re spooning while you’re sleeping and you guys sleep naked. Again...it’s skin to skin and potential for transmission. Ok so what’s I’m trying to get across is a couple of things. 1) just having sex doesn’t transmit herpes 2) you really need to communicate with your partner about having herpes 3)please don’t let this stop you from having skin to skin contact or be afraid of touching your partner. I want you to think about are if you’re engaging in sexual activities such as oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, foreplay then you need to be using protection aka a condom the entire time. Not just during the act of sex. Use it during foreplay and be responsible about using it. When you’re all done take precautions and if that means putting on your underwear to cuddle then do it. By communicating with your partner you guys can talk about what you both feel comfortable with. When couples are in communication about having herpes it makes it so much easier to prevent transmission. Back to this communication thing, and condoms and not telling your partner, I think I’ve painted a picture of how herpes can be transmitted even with using a condom. Because say you used a condom but didn’t use it during foreplay...boom that was skin to skin. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
127: Herpes Work Life Balance With Herpalert And Kristy Spraggon Today I had the pleasure of sitting down with HerpAlert and Kirsty Spraggon of Kirsty TV. Also, I had the worst cold ever and was overloaded on DayQuil, so I apologize in advance. Lol. But in light of being sick we had a great time and we covered all sorts of fun thing about herpes, dating, outbreaks. Something I found interesting was how we both handled the work life balance when it came to herpes and our diagnosis. Let me back up a bit and bring you up to date with our diagnosis. Both Kirsty and I were in our 20’s when we learned about our herpes diagnosis. We both share how were in a state of looking for acceptance from the wrong sources and trying to figure out this thing called life. Of course, when we learned about our diagnosis we were in shock and we both went into a dark hole. Now how we came out of our dark phases and learning to live with this herpes diagnosis were our individual stories. I’m sure you’ll relate to one or the other or both. When I was diagnosed I was struggling financially, I was struggling with my career, I was trying to date and find love. I was a hot mess!. When I found out I was HSV2 positive I went through the levels of anger, resentment, the why me phase and so on. But what I decided at the end of the day was that I won’t become a victim to the virus and the stigma. Truly being diagnosed with herpes forced me to look myself in the mirror and make the changes that needed to happen. It was like cutting the umbilical cord or that little extra nudge that forced me to grow into who I am today. It forced me to get my career together, it forced me to get my finances organized, it forced me to take care of my body and it forced me to stand up for myself and what I wanted in a romantic relationship. It didn’t happen overnight but it got it together and I thank my herpes diagnosis for it. I give some tips on how I turned myself around in this video and so does Kirsty. Now Kirsty shares how herpes forces us to go on a journey of self-awareness and how it forced her to dig deep. She says how her confidence was blown, not that there was a lot there before her diagnosis but what was there was shot. It was very interesting how she decided to overcompensate for her herpes diagnosis. It’s the mindset of oh I’m hurt or I’m in that shame phase and I don’t want anyone to know about it so I’m going to go into overdrive and prove my worth. Kristy refers to it as going into her hypermasculine. Meaning she decided that she was going to be the top real estate agent, that she was going to bring in the money to prove how worthy she was. Meanwhile, the root of the issue was not being addressed. This all came along with binge eating, drinking too much and not respecting herself. Basically, she was putting up a wall and not letting anything or anyone in. This is something that Kristy says she sees a ton when working with people who are just diagnosed. Kirsty shares that getting herpes has 100% gotten her to where she is today. The pain and difficult time helped her get through all the roadblocks and overcome what she needed to in order to show up as her best self. At the end of the day, both Kristy and I discuss how being in the shame phase, or the victim phase is a choice. We both made the choice to overcome it. To overcome it yourself you can reach out to us. For more information about HerpAlert, http://www.lifewithherpes.com/diagnosis If you’d like to reach out to Kirsty Spraggon you can https://kirstyspraggon.com/ I love doing interviews like these because they allow us to share our one version of a very similar story. Xoxo, Alexandra Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
https://youtu.be/RqdvGeMGLp8 Hi there! On today’s episode my husband, Bill, is joining us. Yay! There’s been a ton of Secret Society members who’ve been asking about Bill and wanting to know what his true thoughts were when it came to be with me, us having sex and the risks of transmitting herpes. Originally when I was diagnosed I truly believed that nobody would love me because of this virus. Sound familiar? I stayed in a relationship far too long because I didn’t have the self-confidence. Moving forward to this episode we get the real skinny on what Bill’s thoughts are about our love, our marriage and yep our sex life. I wanted you to hear Bill tell his story about when I disclosed to Bill about my herpes diagnosis. This is great to tune in because we all have to tell our partners at some point. Bill shares from his point of view about how emotional I was when I disclosed to him about having herpes. Now keep in mind that when I disclosed we were not dating or together. I just confided in him because he was my best friend and my confidant. One key point that we both make is herpes is not an issue AT ALL in our life. And that’s one of the biggest concerns when first being diagnosed. We think that having herpes will get in the way of our sex life and it’s a huge concern that having a normal relationship has flown out the window. I can tell you this is 100% BS. You’ll hear Bill share his side. Oh, and you heard me talk about herpalert on this episode. BTW...HerpAlert is the best way to have a confidential diagnosis as well as get your monthly antiviral refills. Use the promo code: lifewithherpes and receive 10% off. Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/ Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Life With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/MsOHGQfjvi8 Hi guys! I’m as always excited to be here with you. Today I’ve discovered a great solution for us!!! Get ready to get excited! The moment we think we have herpes we begin to panic. Rember what that’s like? I sure do. We either feel something down there, or feel like the flu is coming on, or worse we see something. The next thing that happens is the “oh $h*t” moment! We usually know it’s herpes but we’re in total denial. The number one thing we want to do is keep this a secret. We don’t want to go through the embarrassment of people finding out. The fear of embarrassment can even keep us from calling our doctor or the local health clinic to get a proper diagnosis. This fear is so serious that it will stop us in our tracks. This is a huge problem because we need a diagnosis in order to get antiviral! Or another scenario that happens is when you know somethings not right down there and you need to get in ASAP! I mean you’re in pain and you want answers and a prescription ASAP! Have you ever called your doctors’ office and had the response of, “oh we can fit you in a week from Wednesday.” WTF!!!??? That’s not going to work either. So here’s the deal. Herpalert is an online resource for us to quickly and confidentially connect with a doctor! This is HUGE! And this is super easy because we can do it right from our phone or computer. Here’s how Herpalert works. So when you have the oh $h*t moment and think you have herpes the fastest way to get a diagnosis and your prescription filled is to head over to herpalert.com. Oh, and our community get’s a sweet discount on the service so use the promo code: lifewithherpes. In the video, I walk you through step by step on filling out the online application. Seriously, it takes like 2 minutes. Way easier than heading down to your general practitioner. If you’re diagnosed with herpes it's very important that you get on the antiviral ASAP. The sooner you get the medicine in your body the sooner you’ll start feeling better. I can very vividly remember how bad I felt when I was diagnosed and as soon as I got the antiviral in my system I could start feeling the infection healing. Herpalert allows you to upload your photo of your outbreak and if you’re diagnosed with herpes then fill your prescription and it’ll be at your pharmacy within an hour. Pretty cool, right? Just to give you another rundown about how streamlined Herpalert is here's how it works. You head to the website, fill out your signs and symptoms, pick your pharmacy, upload your photo, pay at the checkout and then you receive secure information regarding your diagnosis from one of the Herpalert doctors. And boom...your prescription is at your pharmacy of choice and ready for you. This cuts out the embarrassment of sitting at the doctors' office or waiting for your appointment a week from Wednesday. On a personal note, the reason why I love Herpalert as a resource for our Life With Herpes community is they are aligned with our mission. In fact, it's the same focus, Herpalert wants to break the herpes stigma too. They are dedicated to removing the stigma and lessening outbreaks so that you and I can get back to our normal lives. They believe and so do I that there’s no reason to suffer or be in pain. The antiviral can lessen the outbreak from three weeks to just a matter of days. I mean, why would you want to sit in pain for three weeks? Ok so watch the video to learn more about Herpalert. If you’re ready to make your appointment go here and make sure you use the promo code: lifewithherpes to receive a discount on your appointment. Big Hugs, Alexandra Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/ Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/65rHgmukoTk Hi friends and welcome to today’s episode, thanks for spending your time with me. I love spending my time with you. A lot of times when we are diagnosed with herpes we can become germaphobes. I mean, I already was one and when I got herpes I went over the edge. Anyone else guilty? When I had an outbreak I would begin to alienate my body. I wouldn't touch certain parts of my body and I would ALWAYS wash my hands like 25 times before I touched anything. It was like self-punishment. There is a level when you need to stop, take a deep breath and move on. People ask me all the time will this transmit herpes or will doing that transmit herpes or what if… So here are some sexual things we are doing that can transmit herpes. Remember, I want you be aware of them not punish yourself. Ok, The Obvious One…(no drumroll needed) Sex. I mean sex of all kinds. This includes; vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex and any other type of sex that you can come up with. In the hookup culture, what is considered a “goto” in lieu of a condom is the good ole blow job. Somehow we are missing in sex-ed that oral sex, including blow jobs and going down on someone, can transmit herpes just as easily as sex. So really the only thing you can be sure about with oral sex is not getting someone pregnant. Other than that, you are at as much risk as good old fashioned sex. In fact, 50% of genital herpes transmission is from oral herpes HSV1 transmission. Fingering, Handjobs & Masturbation. If a person is infected and more importantly has an outbreak and you are messing around in that area then herpes can be transmitted. It goes back to skin to skin and touching the infected area. So even if you are keeping it at second base you want to make sure if you or your partner are having an outbreak to keep your distance. Even if you are a one-man band and you can still pass it. For example, if you have oral herpes and are having an outbreak and you touch it or pick at it and then decide to do some self-pleasure without washing your hands then boom. You just transmitted it. I want to make sure this is brought to your attention but what I don’t want is for you to shut down sexually or feel like there is no hope and you might as well wear a chastity belt. Please don't feel that way. I believe that it’s important to know everything there is to know about it so that you and your partner can make the right decision for the both of you. And trust me you can get creative when it comes to getting it on. There’s always latex! What I don't want to happen is think that an alternative solution will keep you and your partner protected and then see the virus pop up. Something I want to encourage everyone to do more of is wash your hands. I know I sound like your mom when you were 3 but its so true. Sometimes just washing your hands can prevent a ton of diseases and germs. When in doubt just wash your hands with warm water and soap for 25 seconds. See you all soon and DM me with any questions. Remember...get creative. Xoxo, Alexandra Oh and...Need Some Latex? Shop for it here. Life With Herpes Details: Join the Secret Society HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) Shop the LWH Essentials Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. Xoxo, Alexandra Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit: Need to talk confidentially about herpes? Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials Are you social? Instagram Facebook
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