Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

One thing I've noticed about higher desire wives: they feel so lonely. They think they're the only wife on the plane that has the higher desire for sex. They often talk about how they hear about their other lady friends complain about how their husbands are always pursuing them and wanting to have sex with them and how they're tired of that. And the higher desire wives themselves think, "If only my husband pursued me that way....Is something wrong with me? Did I marry the wrong person?" My great friend J. Parker join us on the episode today. She is the author of the blog Hot, Holy, Humorous and a new book called The Higher Desire Wife.  She and I will be discussing these concerns and others expressed by a group of higher desire wives in our private Facebook group. So if you're the wife that's higher desire in your marriage, I just want to say you're very welcome here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. And of course, we're gonna do a deep dive on and hopefully answer some of the questions you might in this episode.  News and Resources We have a fun challenge coming up in June on the Intimately Us app--you won't want to miss the chance to earn prizes and get upgraded to the prime membership for free for a few days. So download the app to get ready today. Our men's and women's groups are in full swing and so are closed now, but feel free to get on the waiting list for our next cohort or check out the full program at getyourmarriageon.com/program/

 In this episode, I'm getting specific with actionable tactics while answering questions about the following: how to grow closer together emotionally overcoming body image concerns as it relates to sex. why women fake orgasms enhancing sexual intimacy with sex toys what the research says about pornography use and its impact on couples  exploring role play in relationships, and most importantly, keeping the erotic energy alive and long-term marriage relationships.  I was a guest on a podcast titled From Mrs to Ms with Andrea. This was a fun, unscripted conversation and with her permission, I'm sharing a portion of that conversation with you today. We need your input! In a few weeks, I'll be doing another question and answer episode specifically on the topic of sexual fantasies as it relates to Christian couples and long-term marriages. And if you have a question you'd like me to prepare for that episode, please reach out to me on Instagram via direct message or send me an email (getyourmarriageon@gmail.com). I'd love to answer it on an upcoming episode. As always, if you and your spouse are looking to take intimacy in your marriage to the next level, check out my Get Your Marriage on Program, or contact me or my team about private coaching opportunities. I'm here for you to help you and your marriage grow stronger and closer and have a lot more fun together intimately. Lastly June 9th (that's 6/9 on a calendar) is a special day! It's the birthday of the Intimately Us app. It also International Love Making Day, and we want to celebrate with you with a fun challenge June 1-9! Download the Intimately Us app for all the info. We're going to have a challenge starting on June 1st, leading up to the ninth. And we have a lot of special prizes and lots of fun for you and your spouse.  Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

This episode is all about priming your mind and relationship for great sex.  Years ago, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, who is my guest on this episode today, made her first appearance on my podcast, (and if you want to listen to it, it's episode number 50). What she taught me then about the mental load made a deep impression on me. The mental load as it's often called, is this invisible, never ending to-do list, that is usually carried more by the wives than husbands in marriages, even if both spouses are working. It is the ever present mental load of things that are still works in progress that occupy the back of our mind. Not surprisingly, the mental load issue carries its effects into the intimate relationship, and this is what we get to explore today in depth on today's episode with Dr. Morgan Cutlip. I read her recently published book called A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load For More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex. We especially get to explore the great sex portion of her book in this episode. :-) I hope you enjoy this episode with Dr. Morgan Cutlip! *** Our team has put together a great resource to help you tackle the mental load in your relationship! And it's on sale for the month of May. Check it out! As always, if you're looking for help to take your marriage to the next level, check out our Get Your Marriage Program. Let us help you be the next success story!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 I read an excellent book a few years ago. It's for parents talking to their kids about sex. There was a chapter towards the end of the book titled Honeymoon Horror Stories, which really caught my eye and changed the way I think about the importance of getting and teaching our next generation a solid sex education as part of their research for the book. The authors collected many true stories of Christian couples about their struggles with their first experiences with sex and other sexual struggles earlier in their marriage. As I read these sad stories, I realized many of these heartbreaking experiences could have been avoided or minimized if we just had a better sexual education or work to dispel the role that shame has, especially in discussing sexual concerns with one spouse. Newlywed or not, perhaps you have a quote unquote horror story of your own from your past, or one that you're working through right now. So today I wanna help you get through to your next level in your marriage by discussing a few solid principles regarding healthy sexuality. If you know someone that's soon to be married also, this would be an excellent resource to share with the soon to be bride and groom as well. My guest today prefers to remain anonymous, so I've changed her name and removed any identifying details, but she was amazing. She interviewed me for a special project she's doing for her church to help educate and strengthen the next generation of soon to be married couples. Isn't that noble? So she graciously allowed me to use portions of our interview for this podcast episode. By the way, later on in the episode, we're gonna refer to the five phases of a sexual relationship, which might seem out of context if you're due to this podcast. So I recommend you go listen to podcast episode number 224, which we released just a couple months ago where we discussed this principle in depth. It's a good episode to listen to and review also. Alright, let's talk about some fun and juicy topics about healthy married sex education.

Women's bodies and brains undergo large changes during puberty, childbirth and menopause. Just like how sexuality hasn't been talked about much in previous generations, at least not in a positive light, menopause also hasn't been a free topic of conversation.  It might be a bit funny that a dude is doing an episode about menopause, but I'm really curious about this amazing natural process that women undergo. And I'm not the only one. We often have questions in our private Facebook group. I admit, with a little bit of humor, that most of the comments are from husbands desperate for answers, wondering where their wives libido went after she experienced menopause symptoms. We'll address this question among many others in this episode as I talk with my friend and fellow marriage and sex coach, Alisa DiLorenzo. She and her husband Tony, are the hosts of the incredible One Extraordinary Marriage Show and the author of several books. Coming up . . .  Our wonderful small group men's and women's coaching programs start May 6th! Spots are limited to just 10 people per group, so sign up now to ensure your spot! Trust us, this program is intimacy changing!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Today I want to talk to those who are in a marriage where sex pretty good but maybe a little monotonous at times. Maybe it feels like it's the same old, same old. You wanna kind of spice it up, but then there's other factors involved, including feeling tired. Perhaps it feels like maybe sex is good enough, but you'd really like get to the next great level. This is also an episode for those where you feel like you're really not into it, but you do sex anyway because you know it's good for your marriage or because your spouse wants it. And also for those who like sex, but they kind of sense their spouse is mostly just going through the motions for you. This episode is all about developing our eroticism (and no it's not a dirty word!).  If you'd like some more guidance in developing your eroticism, book a call with me or check out our program! Referenced in the episode: Podcast episode with Francie Winslow: "Why Christians Should Be Having the Best Sex" (Episode 178) Podcast episode with Danielle Savory: "Blowjobs Aren't Just For Husbands" (Episode 137)

 Ever play the game "Two Truths and a Lie"? (A person makes three statements, and you guess which two are factual and which one is false.) Well, we get to play that game today on our episode with my guests Sheila Wray Gregoire and her husband Keith (return guests to the Get Your Marriage On Podcast). The Gregoires completed extensive research, surveying thousands of Christian couples, and recently published their findings in a new book called The Marriage You Want. I've read this book and I think it's really well done, so I invited the Gregoires onto the podcast to share it with you. We talk about a lot of topics: sexual intimacy (of course), finances, sharing the mental load, and more. I hope you walk away from this episode with a few new insights and fresh ideas to improve intimacy and connection in your own marriage. And if you'd like a little extra help, myself and my team would love to meet with you and coach with you in our Get Your Marriage On Program. And as always, don't forget to check out the Intimately Us app. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 Have you ever received really bad marriage advice?  Today I have the privilege of interviewing Kendra Nielson, a fellow marriage coach and therapist. Together we address common pieces of marriage advice that often miss the mark, such as "Never go to bed angry," or "Always put your spouse first," and "Your spouse should be your best friend." And of course we reinterpret these peices of advice for healthier marriage relationships. Understanding this is crucial in order to have a healthy sexual relationship as well. We just wrapped up our in-person couples retreat last weekend, and it was incredible! Seventeen couples from all over the United States and Canada joined us for four days of deep learning and connection. It was a great experience and I look forward to doing it again next year. So be sure to get on our waiting list. I hope you can be there too and have this experience with your spouse.   Do you have a desire gap in your marriage? If you do, you're in good company. Just about every couple does. I'm going live on April 10th for a free webinar all about how to address the sexual desire gap in your marriage in a constructive, healthy way that makes your connection stronger instead of dividing you in your marriage.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I love helping couples through Get Your Marriage On to help them through challenges, to overcome issues in intimacy, and to walk away with feeling like they have a brand new lease on their marriage and realizing how much joy and fun that a good sexual relationship can bring. And one such couple is who I have on my podcast today: Jennifer and Jeff (names have been changed). They've been very generous and vulnerable to share their experience with their marriage journey with you. Some things to listen for: Oftentimes the challenges we face in marriage are because we don't want to look at the truth of something. We often try to manage people--sometimes it's through beating a person down or sometimes we feel like we're doing it out of love, but either way is self-serving. How to develop better emotional connection (even if you've been married a long time) I hope this episode inspires you to look a little bit deeper within your heart and to build a stronger emotional and intimate connection with your spouse. This is a special episode and I'm grateful you get to hear it.   News and Resources Free Live training on April 10th  March Madness Fun Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey.    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 Just about every couple deals with libido differences from time to time. It seems though, as couples approach middle age and begin to face the second half of their life, the differences in sexual desire, which may have been a back burner issue in the marriage up until that time, seem to become front and center. It's the elephant in the room that the couple can no longer ignore. I am absolutely passionate about what I wanna share with you in today's episode. This is very important work that I've witnessed transform hundreds of couples sex lives for the better. The sad truth is too many couples go through life with a subpar sex life. There's just too much poverty in the bedrooms and it's painful. Yet there are so many tools and resources available that if couples can just reach out and implement them and grab them. They can be so much better off than they are. Now I'm sharing a recording of a portion of a live training I did recently for today's episode. I'm doing another updated live training on April 10th on the same topic, and you're invited to join me live. Resources March Madness Episode with Keith and Lindsay Couples Retreat

Everyone struggles with feelings of self-worth and self-acceptance from time to time. Our bodies are sacred; as the Bible says, we're created in God's image. Yet the enemy of our souls does what he can to discredit and devalue our worth, often by casting shade about our own body image. Today you get to meet Hope Orr, a skilled boudoir photographer and owner of Elevated Boudoir, as we talk about her journey, experiences, and the profound impact boudoir photography has had on herself and her clients. I had the privilege of meeting Hope over six years ago through a business connection, and I'm so excited that you get to meet her today. Hope has a grace about her and you can tell she's a very caring individual.  In this episode, you'll hear Hope share her personal battle with body image and toxic perfectionism, and how a spontaneous boudoir session changed her perspective on herself. She discusses the transformative power of boudoir photography, the importance of trust, and shares three principles that can help anyone embrace a positive self-image. The heart of this episode is about the deep personal and emotional journey and broader impact of embracing one's true self.   News and Resources We're hiring! If you think you'd be a good fit for our brand as a brand ambassador and social media marketer, we've extended our deadline. Please check out the details and apply here! Last minute Couples Retreat spot can be yours for $500 off! We just had a last minute cancellation, and the generous couple has offered their deposit for another worthy couple to attend. Use code "payitforward" at checkout! Check out these testimonials on youtube!  Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey.    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

A recurring theme I've noticed in over 200 episodes of the Get Your Marriage On podcast is that those who are willing to push themselves a little outside their comfort zone experience the most joy and growth in their relationships. And this is also consistent with my own experience.  My guest today is Kaitlin Hawes. She's a mom and a wife with a great message. You'll get to hear about what inspired her to reconsider her level of enthusiasm for sexual connection in her marriage and what inspired her to try new things and how a willingness to be honest and vulnerable with her husband opened up new heights of life experiences for her.  You'll also quickly figure out that Kaitlin is quite creative in and out of the bedroom. This episode is on the spicier side; we're gonna do a deep dive as we listen to her tips on how to make oral sex great for both men and women, along with the other fun adventures to try as a couple. I hope this episode inspires you to get creative in your own way, in your bedroom (or out of your bedroom!).   News and Resources We're hiring! If you think you'd be a good fit for our brand as a brand ambassador and social media marketer, please check out the details and apply here! Last minute Couples Retreat spot can be yours for $500 off! We just had a last minute cancellation, and the generous couple has offered their deposit for another worthy couple to attend. Use code "payitforward" at checkout! Check out these testimonials on youtube!  Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey.    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

 If you were to pause and think about your very best sexual experiences that you've ever had, can you identify what made them so great?  For many years, academics studying human sexuality at universities were primarily interested in figuring out what goes wrong in the bedroom so they can fix it and get back up to baseline functioning.  But, the guest I interview in this episode took a very different approach: she didn't just want to study people who are experiencing sexual dysfunction, she wanted to study people with extraordinary sex lives and what they were doing right. Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a sex therapist and part of the faculty at the University of Ottawa. She's written several books (mostly textbooks for other sex therapists to read), but she wrote one book with Dr. Dana Menard for the rest of us called Magnificent Sex, sharing her breakthroughs and her research on how to acheive optimal sex. She is also the founder of OptimalSexualExperiences.com, a resource for group therapies all over. News & Resources We're hiring! If you think you'd be a good fit for our brand as a brand ambassador and social media marketer, please check out the details and apply here! Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey.  Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life. Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Let us help you get results like these amazing couples in 2025!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Do you ever feel like a failure at sex?  In this episode, I'll be breaking down why perfectionism is the enemy of good sex and how you can build a virtuous cycle of intimacy with small, consistent wins. I'll share real stories, practical strategies, and a fresh way to think about sex that takes the pressure off and brings the pleasure back. If you're ready to ditch the pass fail mentality in the bedroom and start experiencing deeper connection with your spouse, you won't want to miss this episode. Resources: Intimately Us app (free and paid versions) - a fun and easy way to increase novelty, get education, and increase communication and connection. Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Small group cohorts within this program also offer intensive help and support. New men's and women's small groups are starting in January! Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life. Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Let us help you get results like these amazing couples!

 The number one libido killer is stress. And experiencing stress from time to time is just a part of life; however, there are skills out there that'll help you manage it better. One of the black belt sex tips I often teach is a concept called "calm the heck down," which, if you've listened to my podcast for a while, you'll see this theme popping up often. It's the ability to settle down within your own skin and be fully present in the moment. This, along with a few other skills, are essential to learning how to deeply emotionally connect with another person that you absolutely love.   So I'm excited for our guest today: Denita Bremmer. She is an expert in somatics, which is a fancy word for the intersection of the mind, body and spirit. And she teaches how to listen to your body in a way that grounds and connects you so that you can reach new levels of love and intimacy in your relationships. By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with the following: Fresh ideas on how to create more safety within yourself and in your relationships How to better metabolize stress Work through and heal a history of trauma  How to work with your body instead of against your body as a tool to help you deeply connect with others.  And, of course, listen to the end for Denita is fantastic black belt sex tip! Coming up . . .  Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! (Starts today! You can also register and get the recording to use another time.) Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Today's episode is about flirting and having fun by trying on a different persona on a date night. It's about using the power of role play to infuse fresh life into your marriage! It's like putting on a different outfit than the one you usually wear and being playful. And because this is get your marriage on, we'll add a sexy twist to it, of course! My guest is my friend, Katie Runyan. She's the founder of Faithful Fling, an online resource my wife and I use to get creative ideas for date night. You'll find Katie to be a very creative and fun person. I realize that the idea of sexy role-play isn't for everyone, just like not everyone is into all the fun that goes into picking out a Halloween costume, or being super romantic for Valentine's day, and that's okay. But I encourage you to listen and pick out the principles you find can apply to your marriage, to take your marriage to the next level! *** You can win 12 Free Dates from Faithful Fling by participating in the Sextimacy Challenge going on now on the Intimately Us app! Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse!   Other episodes you might like:  190: Cultivating Healthy Eroticism in Long-term Marriages 171: Would You Rather …? Sexy Edition & Embracing Your Eroticism 217: Eroticism: What Does Your Sexuality Want?   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 Our childhood and families of origin have a profound impact on our worldviews, including our attitudes towards sex and intimacy. Not knowing anything different, for the most part, we tend to intuitively model what we've seen and absorbed from the culture we grew up in. My wife and I are blessed to come from wonderful families. We had good childhoods and felt the support and care of our parents, which I'm very grateful for. Yet, after we were married, we were anxious about sex, which we felt was quite taboo. And for a long time really plagued us in our marriage. The reality is sexual growth and understanding is actually developmental, meaning we grow from stage to stage line-by-line one step at a time If we choose the courageous path of growth, as we discussed in our episode last week. There are many in midlife that realized their past attitudes towards sex and intimacy are no longer serving them today. They might come to a crisis in their relationship or feel stretched in their marriage to grow and progress. I hope that this podcast, my apps, my programs, and my retreats help you wherever you are on your journey and help you learn truths and apply principles to aid you in your spiritual and sexual development. My guests today are Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings. Heidi has her PhD in human development and family studies, and Scott is a medical doctor and physician. Talk about a power couple! They are also the hosts of the Marriage IQ podcast, and I've had the opportunity to get to know them personally over the last year.  And I am excited that you get to meet them here today, too! *** Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse!   14-Day Sextimacy Challenge - Complete challenges in the Intimately Us app to earn points and a chance to win one of our amazing prizes. Starts February 1! All the details are in the app.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Take a moment to think about the evolution of your own sexual journey as a couple. How far have you come in the last year? Or the last two years, or the last five years? Is what's important to you today the same as what was important to you in the last two or five years? I bet it's different. It's then reasonable to assume that what's important to you today sexually could be different a year or five or even ten years from now. And this episode, you'll get to hear this conversation I had with Amy and Greg Langford, where we talk about the five phases of a sexual relationship. See which phase you find yourself in today and learn what's ahead for you.  *** Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! Stay tuned for updates on this exciting retreat!  14-Day Sextimacy Challenge - Complete challenges in the Intimately Us app to earn points and a chance to win one of our amazing prizes. All the details are in the app.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 This is part two of the BDSM episodes. Last week we talked about how a BDSM is a exchange of erotic energy and how it's built upon the principles of trust and communication. And in a scene or experience, you have one partner acting in the dominant role and the other in the submissive role. And it's the submissive person who's really in charge of the whole experience. He or she is the one saying "yes, no, maybe, etc." And it's really about creating an experience together that you'll both really enjoy and bond over.  Now you'll get to hear me talk to my guests, Alan and Leila, about more questions that I have about BDSM and how it works for them in their marriage. And I hope this is helpful for you and you gain some wonderful insights for your own marriage  in this episode. Make sure you check out Part 1 if you haven't yet. *** Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! Stay tuned for updates on this exciting retreat!  Men's Only and Women's Only small group coaching program -  The next cohort starts January 22nd.  We meet weekly for 12 weeks to do a deep dive into the intimacy of your marriage. And this includes a comprehensive course and all materials and coaching to help you apply everything you learn. You'll walk away from this three month program a better husband or wife and power to take your marriage to the next level.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

Like many of you, I've had questions about BDSM for a long time. I've had preconceived ideas of what it was and wondered how it fits into my faith and the style of intimate play my wife and I enjoy.   I have also received emails and DMS from many of you listeners asking me about BDSM in the context of a faithful Christian marriage. I've been hesitant in doing an episode about this for a long time, until I found the right guest.   I used to think BDSM was dark and evil--a thinly disguised form of rape, aggression, and violence. I also thought it was antisocial if it was about enjoying inflicting pain on others, in some sort of a sick and twisted way. But then again, even a couple in a "vanilla" missionary position could be doing it with dark and evil intent. While sex in vanilla missionary position or BDSM play can be done in a loving, faithful, beautiful, playful, and deeply erotic way that deepens a couple's connections. In short, it's not really the act, but the intention behind the act that really matters.  After listening to this episode, you may want to try some of this couple's suggestions to enhance the joy and intimacy in your marriage. I met Alan and his lovely wife Leila through a men's group that I belong to. They're a faithful, wonderful, and upstanding couple married for nearly three decades.  I'm very grateful that they were kind and courageous enough to come on my podcast to share their experience with BDSM. They answered many of my questions and I hope you find this episode really insightful, too.   Note that this is going to be a two part episode. This is part 1 with part 2 being released next week. *** Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! Stay tuned for updates on this exciting retreat!  Men's Only and Women's Only small group coaching program -  The next cohort starts January 22nd.  We meet weekly for 12 weeks to do a deep dive into the intimacy of your marriage. And this includes a comprehensive course and all materials and coaching to help you apply everything you learn. You'll walk away from this three month program a better husband or wife and power to take your marriage to the next level.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.    

Ever feel like you wish your wife was a little less vanilla? Every wish your spouse would be more enthusiastic about trying new things in the bedroom (or out of the bedroom for that matter)? Ever ask your spouse what their fantasies are, and they look at you with a blank stare or an "I don't know"? Ever get frustrated when, after a discussion about your sex life and things get better for about a week or so, and then fizzle and go back to the way they used to be? A husband recently emailed me with these concerns, and with his permission, I will be giving you some ideas about this topic today for both the higher and lower desire spouses.  (Link to referenced episode with Dr. Cami Hurst) *** Are you ready to make some changes in the new year? Are you tired of struggling in your marriage and sex life? Here are some things that can help! Intimately Us app (free and paid versions) - a fun and easy way to increase novelty, get education, and increase communication and connection. Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Small group cohorts within this program also offer intensive help and support. New men's and women's small groups are starting in January! Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life. Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Let us help you get results like these amazing couples in 2025!    

 I studied martial arts for 13 years when I was younger and I became proficient in three different styles of Karate and Kenpo. As you progress towards being a black belt, the fundamentals don't change, but your ability to be more precise and skilled in using those fundamentals improves dramatically.  Like in my martial arts training to being a better lover, the fundamentals such as communication, touch and being present with arousal, and so on don't change. But your ability to use those fundamentals to be better at sex hat's deeply connecting as well as giving and receiving pleasure to strengthen your marriage. All those improve. As you become more quote unquote black belt at at sex.  I occasionally ask my podcast guests for their black belt sex tips. And it's been over a year since I've done a Roundup of the best black belt sex tips offered by my guests on this podcast. So today, I've compiled the best into this episode.  If you like what you've heard from these guests and want to go back for more, here are the links to the full episodes: Sofia Ashley - #212: Create A Party Your Libido Wants To Come To) Catherine Roebuck - #214: When Wives Have The Higher Sexual Desire Josie McEwen - #167: Successful Vacation Sex & Romantic Getaways, According to a Romance Consultant Jessa Zimmerman - #217: Eroticism: What Does Your Sexuality Want?  Adam and Karissa King - #219: How Playing With Your 5 Senses Opens the Door to More Erotic Connection Dan Purcell & Rhonda Farr - #209: Stop Trying to Change Your Marriage. Let Your Marriage Change You Instead. Ally Bullock - #203: Why Honesty, Risk, and some Fair Play Lead To Great Connection with Alyson Bullock Tammy Camp - #151: How a “Good Girl” and Her Husband Bravely Chose a Better Sex Life: A Sextimony Francie Winslow - #178: Why Christians Should Be Having the Best Sex Tilly Storm - #210: The G-Spot Guide: How to Stimulate, Explore, and Enjoy Together! Heather Flake - #158: The #1 Limiting Factor in Your Sex Life, According to a Marriage Expert Tammy Hill - #179: Having An Orgasm vs Living Orgasmically: What's the difference? Dr. Julie Slattery - #181: 4 Pillars to Take Intimacy From Sub-optimal to First-Rate, Both In and Out of the Bedroom Glenn & Phyllis Hill - #183: The Anatomy of Emotional Intimacy & Connection Codes and #184: Anatomy of a Sex Date Laurie Watson - #149: Afraid Your Husband Will Reject or Ignore You AGAIN tonight? Alex & Kadi Dutton - #130: Lingerie? YES PLEASE! with Alex and Kadi of EveryLove Intimates Mark Goldberg - #193: The Fast and Furious: Over-Coming Premature Ejaculation Sierra Beltran - #170: Behold Your Beautiful Body Through the Lens of Boudoir Photography! Ariel Finlinson - #164: Creating Space for Moms (and Dads) to Feel Like They Are in Control Again Tammy Hill - #201: The Art of Cherishing Your Spouse, Part 2 Danielle Savory - #201: The Art of Cherishing Your Spouse, Part 2 Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - #200: The Art of Cherishing Your Spouse, Part 1 Katheleen Smith - #195: Are You a “Sexual Over-functioner?” Bonnie Young - #168: How Your Marital Power Dynamics Are Affecting Your Sexual Relationship   Resources If you're in an otherwise happy marriage, but struggle to see eye to eye when it comes to sexual intimacy, I highly recommend you check out our upcoming couples retreat for next March (hurry--prices go up in the new year!). Check out our Get Your Marriage On Program. These programs are effective at helping you and your spouse communicate better about these things in a relationship and really move the needle in the positive direction.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 I am a big believer in play in the bedroom, and I'm excited that you'll get to join me in this conversation with Adam and Karissa King today. Adam and Karissa have a fun Instagram account called Dear Young, Married Couple. And that's how I first met them a few years ago. And get this. They are both marriage counselors. It's a husband and wife team and they are an absolute hoot as you'll get to hear today. I'm grateful we can talk about this topic today because I think all of us need a little boost of creativity and inspiration once in a while, especially when it comes to things in the bedroom, because we all need it to keep the passion alive.   News and Resources Games mentioned in the episode: Sheets and Ladders, Sensation Card Deck If you're in an otherwise happy marriage, but struggle to see eye to eye when it comes to sexual intimacy, I highly recommend you check out our upcoming couples retreat for next March (prices go up in the new year). Check out our Get Your Marriage On Program. These programs are effective at helping you and your spouse communicate better about these things in a relationship and really move the needle in the positive direction. Our first annual "Get-it-on-athon" is in full swing! Learn more about how to support a worthy couple's fertility journey as you come closer as a couple! Are you struggling with how to explore your eroticism? Our new and improved Sexploration List can help! Rank your own preferences and desires in 13 different areas and explore and talk about those things together. You'll discover where your desires intersect and maybe get some ideas you both like, but have never thought of! Intimately Us app - for couples who want to spice up their marriage, get new ideas, and learn how to love each other better.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

It's hard to believe that my wife and I started this work eight years ago! At that time we were 13 years into a happy marriage, but something was missing. We just didn't quite know what it was. And that's when a friend opened up to me about his sex life and taught me about how a healthy, vibrant sexual relationship permeates not only the marriage relationship, but adds texture color in life to all other aspects of life, too. As we focused on enhancing our sexual intimacy as a couple, what my friend told me was absolutely right. And we've been on a mission to share this message ever since. That's why I'm excited to tell you about today's guest, Tanya Hale, as she's learned something similar. She calls it being a "well-sexed woman" in that she's found how a connecting and vibrant sex life gives more creativity to life and everyday living. You'll get to hear Tanya's story of a failed marriage, the valuable lessons she learned immediately afterwards, and the new marriage that she's created. You'll learn about the importance of emotional safety and connection, as well as some of her tips to living well and a happy marriage. News and Resources Join the first annual Get-it-On-athon fundraiser! Check out how you can help a couple struggling with infertility have a baby by next Christmas!   Speaking of Christmas, why not ditch the stuff that accumulates and instead invest in experiences that will pay dividends and expand your relationship? Why not attend our upcoming couples retreat in March 2025? Get Your Marriage On Program: work with me and my team in a coaching setting to help you overcome the specific challenges with intimacy in your marriage. Don't miss the testimonials on the results page, as well, to see how this program is changing the lives of other couples!

I used to think the word erotic was associated with unsavory things like X-rated films, Las Vegas billboards, or sites are not supposed to visit online. But the more I've done this work with myself and in my marriage and with other couples, the more I've come to love eroticism. The root word for erotic is the Greek word eros, which literally means desire.  Plato, a Greek philosopher, taught that eros is more than just sexual desire; it's the life force, passionate power that drives individuals to pursue beauty wisdom and even the divine. When you live with this eros feeling, it invites you to yearn for something beyond yourself, close gaps, seek intimacy, and to reach a higher, more spiritual level of love. Sexual eroticism then are those things that give your intimate moments in your marriage, meaning yearning for closeness and ultimately makes your marriage fill alive and growing and to have love worth making.  By that definition. It's no wonder that red light districts X-rated films and brothels are actually anti-erotic, because when you think of it, those aren't full of that life force. They are full of misery and loneliness instead.   Anyway, I've come to appreciate that every person has things that they find erotic. What we find sexually exciting is as unique as our fingerprints. In this episode, I'm joined by sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman. And this episode, we'll talk about what eroticism is, why erotic fantasies are important, and how to work through the challenges that couples face in sharing and negotiating sexual fantasies. We'll also discuss tips for building a stronger marriage through your God-given eroticism.   News and Resources Our first annual "Get-it-on-athon" is in full swing! Learn more about how to support a worthy couple's fertility journey as you come closer as a couple! Reserve your spot at our next Couples Retreat in March 2025 (prices go up in 2025) Are you struggling with how to explore your eroticism? Our new and improved Sexploration List can help! Rank your own preferences and desires in 13 different areas and explore and talk about those things together. You'll discover where your desires intersect and maybe get some ideas you both like, but have never thought of! Intimately Us app - for couples who want to spice up their marriage, get new ideas, and learn how to love each other better.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Today is a continuation of last week's question and answer episode, and I am so thankful for all the courageous couples who reached out with their questions. Here's what we discuss in this episode: A husband wondering about using dildos and double penetration and getting some guidance there. A wife whose husband has been experiencing erectile dysfunction and navigating her own lack of satisfaction in bed. A husband reaching looking for some advice after he reacted poorly to discovering some erotic reading that his wife was doing and navigating the aftermath of what happened. A husband wondering if he is being selfish for wanting sex because his wife is showing a low level of interest, or none at all. You can submit your anonymous questions on our website here. And don't forget to check out last week's episode (#215) for more answers to your questions. Resources: December's "Get it On-a-thon" Fundraiser: Get Frisky for Fertility! Intimately Us App 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

It's time to answer some more questions from our listeners! Today I'm joined by my colleague, Caroline, to discuss some of the questions that you have. We cover the following topics: A husband who's struggling to connect emotionally with his wife, and he wants to learn how to do that without shutting down. A wife is struggling to find ways to connect romantically and sexually, and to have that desire for her spouse, even though he's stopped using porn, which had impacted their marriage. A husband is wondering about penis size and how that's impacting his marriage. A husband struggling with premature ejaculation wants to know how to satisfy his wife more. A husband who has a wife who thinks that anything beyond missionary position is gross and wondering how to navigate this challenge that they're facing. A wife who's feeling a great deal of sadness because she wants to feel desired by her husband, including through compliments, though currently she feels like she's not desired in words or actions. You can submit your anonymous questions on our website here. And don't forget to tune in next week for Part 2 of this Q&A series! Resources: December's "Get it On-a-thon" Fundraiser: Get Frisky for Fertility! Intimately Us App 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Broadly speaking, men are generally more interested in sex than women. However, there are exceptions. Some estimate that 20 to 30% of married couples are in marriages where the wife is the one with actually the higher libido or the higher sex drive. However you want to call it, higher desire wives have a unique challenge that higher desire husbands don't have, as well as having many similarities and challenges in just having libido differences in the marriage that both a higher and lower desire couple faces. My guest today is Cat Roebuck. She's a fellow sex and marriage coach, and she's an expert when it comes to living as a higher desire wife and the challenges associated with that. And I'm so lucky to have her on my podcast today. She also happens to be my cousin! In this episode, we're going to talk about how to better understand sexual desire, differences in marriage from a higher desire wives point of view. I particularly liked the discussion about how to love with our sexuality or through our sexuality and not just treat our sexuality as a reward for good behavior or on the other side of love. It's actually a way we can love others. Also, you'll gonna like her black belt sex tip at the end!   Resources: December's "Get it On-a-thon" Fundraiser: Get Frisky for Fertility! Intimately Us App 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com  Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Sexual desire differences are, unfortunately, very common. In fact, it's one of the top reasons why couples seek sex therapy or any kind of help in their marriage. It's really painful to be in a relationship where your spouse doesn't desire you the same way you desire them. And while it's painful for the spouse with the higher libido or higher desire, it's also just as painful (for different reasons) for the person with a lower desire/lower libido. The good news is that there are actually tools and solutions to help couples get on the same page sexually, and we'll discuss some of these in this episode. I was interviewed by my friend Taylor Chambers, a marriage and family therapist. Since we talk about these things often on this platform, we've included this interview on the Get Your Marriage On Podcast. In this episode, we cover the following: I share some of my personal examples from my own marriage Why traditional sex therapy doesn't quite work. The role of pleasure Integrity culture versus purity culture If you and your spouse have differences in sexual desire that's causing some problems in your marriage, you're in luck because next week I'm going live doing a deep dive discussion on this very topic. What: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives without Therapy or Pressure, Live Masterclass When: November 14, 6 pm Pacific / 9pm Eastern Register Here   More Resources: Intimately Us App 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com  Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

There's a lot of stress in parenthood (and regular life) that presses on the couple's relationship, which Emily and I know firsthand as parents to 6 children. And I know that maintaining intimacy and being lovers while also being parents and good at our jobs and other responsibilities is a challenge many of us face, which is why I'm so interested in this topic today. And I had so much fun recording this episode with my guest, Sofia Ashley. She's a hoot! Sofia has been a sex coach for 10 years and has a program called "Sex After Kids" and she's the founder of The Happy Vagina Project.  In this episode we discuss how to have a party your libido would like to show up to and the importance of nervous system regulation, effective communication, and emotional support (over depending on outside things like toys or lingerie). You'll get to hear her strategies for transitioning from being a busy mom to a hot wife. And be sure to stay to the end to hear her black belt sex tip! Resources: Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com  Episode Highlights 2:08: Bedroom fail 5:12: Novelty falls flat if there's not deeper connection 6:09: How our nervous system plays in 9:28: When you just feel "touched out" 15:33: Physiological response and the need for relaxation 18:20: Transitioning from super-busy mode, to "I want to have sex mode" 22:41: Creating a party your libido wants to come to 23:50: Pre-launch check list 31:46: Nervous sytem reset exercises 35:49: How to know if you're disregulated 39:45: Black belt sext tip! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

The holidays are coming up, and this is often a stressful time for a lot of couples. The stress and busyness can often lead couples to fall into dry spells in their sex life. And Emily and I are not immune to those dry spells either. So whether you're in a dry spell or looking to avoid one, this episode is for you! We're going to cover practical ways to keep your marriage and sex life going strong through all the seasons of life. Resources: Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Episode highlights: 4:37: Seeing the Patterns in Your Relationship 6:13: Calm the heck down 7:18: Notice emotions and how they present in your body 7:40: The measure of your marriage isn't how you handle yourself when things are going well, but when life is hard 9:00: Separate the act of sex from the meanings attached to it. 11:04: When we look to our spouse, as a reason behind the dry spell, it opens you up to a potential of self-deception 12:25: Routine kills passion 14:34: Need both love and desire 17:37: Offer good sex 19:07: Questions to ask yourself and thoughts to consider 21:55: "But my spouse doesn't want to change"  

In this episode, you'll learn how to stimulate the "g-spot" and how to have more fun in your bedroom by learning how to work with this beautiful aspect of female pleasure and orgasm. Join us as my guest, Tilly Storm, a sex coach for women, teaches about unlocking this new dimension in your marriage. Even if including the g-spot is already something you're doing in your relationship, I promise you'll gain a lot out of this podcast anyway. If you're new to this, well, you've got a whole new dimension in your relationship to uncover and explore together! And I hope you have a lot of fun exploring it, just like my wife and I have had a lot of fun putting into practice a lot of the things that Tilly teaches in this episode! Resources: Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt Intimately Us App Get Your Marriage On Program FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less 2025 Couples Retreat You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

There's definitely a spiritual element to developing an intimate marriage. For example, in order to have really good sex or really deep emotional connection with someone, it requires you to be more honest, true chaste, benevolent, and in short, to do good to your spouse. It requires you to be able to endure all things and to have a lot of hope and do the little things every day, the little micro things that actually matter to build an intimate marriage. Our episode today is a recording of a conversation I had with my good friend, Rhonda Farr. If you don't know her, she is a marriage and intimacy coach a lot like myself. And we had a fantastic conversation about how our marriage changes us rather than us trying to change our marriage. This is really relevant because we're talking about the spiritual work of sexual development; this is the refining process, the part that expands us in our marriages to become the better version of who we are meant to become.   Resources: Intimately Us App Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

There are many reasons why a lot of us get off on the wrong foot when it comes to building an intimate marriage for the lifetime; there's shame, purity culture, unmet expectations, and difficulty in communicating about intimate matters, just to name a few. I'm excited for you to meet a couple that has faced all these challenges, like many of you, but have found hope in the progress they've made towards the intimate relationship they desire. Cody and Mindy are a couple that I've gotten to get to know really well through my coaching program. They've taken the principles that we teach in their program, applied them, and they're seeing real results in their relationship. And I'm proud of them for being courageous enough to come on this podcast to share their journey and their experience with you, with the hope that some of you listening can find inspiration, hope, and healing in whatever phase of the journey you're in right now. After listening to this episode, if you and your spouse feel like you could use a huge boost in your relationship, please check out my get your marriage on program. You'll see the details and lots of free information about it on my website. One way to boost intimacy in your relationship is to learn mindfulness skills. And this has been proven in research over and over again. And in fact, one of the world's most foremost researchers in this area, Dr. Chelom Leavitt, is going to be joining me for a three week long seminar series in the latter half of October. You won't want to miss it! Resources: Intimately Us App Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

We've come to our fourth and final Sextember podcast episode! It's been a great month culminating in this week's spicy topic. And the whole reason behind Sextember and these types of episodes is to illustrate how important it is that you add variety and novelty to your intimate marriage. This is how you keep it vital for the longterm. Recently someone reached out to our private Get Your Marriage On Facebook group (which, by the way, if you're not a member of, I highly recommend you join):  "My wife wants to spice things up in the bedroom. She's saying we should do more sex positions, but I have no idea where to start." Well, this podcast episode is for you and everyone like you in a similar situation! We've had sex position illustrations (very tastefully drawn) in the Intimately Us app for about two years now, and it's a fantastic source of inspiration and creativity for many couples who have looked at those and use them. Another feature that we have in that app is that users can rate and review their favorite positions.  So I'm presenting for you today, the top 10 sex positions rated in the Intimately Us app. If you don't have the app, download it today. And if you do have it, please consider upgrading to the premium version to unlock all of the best features of the app!   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is our third Sextember Episode! So this is also going to be a really fun and spicy podcast to give you inspiration and ideas to make the most out of your Sextember!  Today, we get to talk about how to share your fantasies with your spouse (which is really hard to do sometimes) and about the value of adding novelty and spice to your marriage relationship.  In preparation for this episode, we polled our Instagram audience by asking them a bunch of "yes, no, maybe" questions (and some of them are really spicy!). Listen for those at the end to see how your own responses line up with those of our general audience. Jacqlin is my guest today, and I'm so grateful to have her as a member of my Get Your Marriage On team. (And you may have seen Jacqlin on our Instagram as she creates a lot of fun and entertaining reels.)  Jacqlin has been married for over 15 years and has four boys. And she's also a certified life coach and loves helping  other individuals have more peace and comfort with sexuality for themselves and in their marriages.   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Welcome to our second Sextember episode! For this month, every episode will be filled with ideas to add more spice and excitement to your bedroom as part of our Sextember series. Last week, my guest, Tammy Camp, and I talked about flirting and initiating. So today we're going to build on that and talk about another spicy and exciting topic: putting the play back in foreplay! Foreplay in my opinion is the best part of an intimate encounter. Foreplay is how you set the stage for how intimate and connecting the experience is going to be.   And by the end of this episode, you'll learn the grand key to unlock amazing foreplay in your marriage.  And it's something anybody can do. We'll give you specific tips and ideas as well. I'll also address some questions that you listeners have sent in anonymously about foreplay.   I'm joined by Amy Langford, a certified marriage and intimacy coach that works with me in my Get Your Marriage On program. She's been married for over 25 years to her husband, Greg, has four children and one son-in-law, and is passionate about helping couples uplevel their marriage.   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I am so excited for what's coming up in September! For the next four episodes in the month of September, we will focus on the theme of spicing things up in the bedroom. We're just adding a little more creativity to your lovemaking routines! It's going to be fun and we're doing all this because September for us is Sextember. If you don't know what that is, listen to the podcast or check out our website or Instagram for more. Today's topic is all about initiating and flirting, which I think are two vital skills any couple needs to spice things up in the bedroom. So I've invited my friend at Tammy Camp, a fellow coach with me in my Get Your Marriage On program, to share some ideas together. We get a riff off of each other about how to initiate more creatively, have more fun, and just give you some ideas and inspiration for you and your spouse in your marriage.   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Get Your Marriage On Program Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

**SEXTEMBER STARTS ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. DOWNLOAD THE INTIMATELY US APP TO PARTICIPATE** My hope for you after listening to today's episode is you'll laugh a little, be inspired and gain some practical tools that you can use to improve communication about intimate things in your marriage.  My guest today is Alyson Bullock, a marriage and family therapist, communication coach, and has a popular Instagram account @relationshipswithaly.  Today, Alyson and I are going to chat about your questions that will cover topics such as the following: How to talk to your spouse about wanting more variety in spice in the bedroom How to talk to your spouse if what they want to do with you in the bedroom is a bit too much outside your comfort zone How to discuss mismatched sexual desire How to address resentments in your marriage, especially when things feel lopsided when it comes to sharing household chores and the mental load of running a home And we're going to talk about some really fun, practical things to implement in your marriage today!   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

In the thick of raising children or building a career or juggling the many demands that life imposes on us, it's easy for couples to feel like relationship matters have been put to the side. You don't intend for this to happen, of course. It's easy for things to feel so vanilla, routine, or monotonous between you and your spouse. So how do some couples work through these challenges effectively? I love releasing podcasts episodes like this one, because these guests aren't so-called "experts" that pretend to have everything figured out, they're ordinary men like me and you. They have regular normal challenges; yet, their stories are inspiring because their insights are applicable to everyone. My guests, Clint and Tony, were part of the latest men's small group coaching program that I run periodically. You'll get to hear all about their experience as well as other special insights that they've gained as a result of participating in this life changing program. One thing I've learned over the years of doing this work is that men need men. When good men band together, committed to helping each other become better husbands and fathers, great things happen. Registration is now open for our next cohort for our men's small group coaching program, like the one Tony and Clinton just did. This 12-week program is limited to just 8-10 men, and it starts September 4. The program includes a comprehensive course and coaching to help you apply proven principles in your unique circumstances. I'm absolutely certain this program is a good fit for you if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, yet feel like something is missing when it comes to intimacy. You'll definitely uncover what's missing and witness a transformation in yourself over the 12 weeks we meet together. All of these details are here on my website. By the way we also have an equivalent women's program starting in October, so check back for those details too. Other Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is part two of the podcast we released last Friday (#200). And if you haven't listened to that one, I highly recommend you pause this episode and go back and listen to #200 first. These two episodes are continuation of a project that I started a few months ago to better understand what it means for me to cherish my spouse. I shared a tragic story about my wife's cousin and how that really propelled us to understand what it means to cherish others better. In the process, I've sought out mentors to help me understand this concept better. And you get to hear snippets of the conversations I've had with them - you get to be a fly on the wall and learn with me and what it really means to cherish your spouse. And to love them really, really well. Of all the things I talk about on the podcast -- sex, orgasms, initiating, foreplay -- I think learning how to cherish your spouse whole heartedly takes the cake! This is the most important. This is the sum of everything that I wish you would get from my podcast. I hope these two episodes become the most downloaded episodes of the entire podcast. And this is what I want to be known for. I want you to know that to really love and cherish your spouse is at the heart of everything we do, even your sexual interactions (which we talk a lot about on this podcast, right?). It's about how you cherish your spouse through the language of your sexuality and sharing that with your spouse exclusively. So today you get a year from three more mentors that I look up to a lot: Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). So you get three different perspectives here on the same kind of thing, different stages of life, different worldviews. And in case you missed it, I talked to Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens, (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage) in part 1. I hope this is the inspiration you need to make the most of your marriage relationship--make the changes, get the help, and do what you need to do-- to find that deep and abiding love, the cherishing that brings the deepest meaning and satisfaction to our lives.   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

We recently experienced the loss of a family member very suddenly, a young mom with three children, and it has made me want to love and appreciate and cherish my wife more. And so this set me out on a personal project to understand the concept of cherishing a little better. This project has really changed me. It has changed me in my intimate interactions with my wife and with my children and with others. I've learned how to be a lot more present with them, less anxious. And the way I make love to my wife has brought a different tone to our marriage. It's more connecting, it's more real, it's more eyes open. There's a more genuine desire to be close to each other in our love making also. To help me in my quest to better understand cherishing and what it means for me in my life and in my marriage, I've sought out a few mentors to help me and I've recorded our conversations. I've asked them just a simple question: "What does it mean to cherish your spouse?" And I just sat back and listened as these great teachers shared so many nuggets from their life experiences. Because this topic has had such a big impact on me, and I didn't want you to miss any of it, I've decided to split this into two podcasts episodes. In this episode, you'll get to hear from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage). And in a special bonus episode on Monday, August 19, you'll get to hear part 2 from Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). Takeaways As you listen to what these wise people say . . . ♥️ I hope you'll listen with an open heart. ♥️ I hope it changes you as much as it changed me. ♥️ I hope this episode will inspire you to treat your spouse with a lot more appreciation and a lot more dignity. ♥️ I hope you'll find greater strength to look past the trivial barriers that get in the way of true connection. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put down the phone more often and to actually gaze into your spouse's eyes. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put your arm around him or her and hold them close, because you never know, today might be the last day you'll be together for a long time.   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

It's interesting that we live in a day and age where it's not the popular thing to want a family and a strong, committed marriage with complete fidelity.  At least in America, the trend is to make wealth the ultimate measure of our progress in life.  But I got to tell you: if you're looking for an investment that would give you a return on happiness, I can't think of anything more of lasting value than a vibrant, passionate and intimate marriage. This kind of marriage brings our the best in both individuals and creates a safe and loving home for children as well. Having a marriage I'm excited about is worth everything to me.  In today's episode, you'll get to hear what I said on my friend Angelo's podcast. He recently interviewed me, and in our conversation we talked about some really great topics such as . . .  Why it's important to prioritize or marriage Why sexual desire differences arise in long-term marriages (and how to solve it) How to have candid conversations with a spouse about sex And more! Resources: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God's Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

I get so many questions through the anonymous question form on my website, so it's time to answer some more. We address these topics today: A husband doesn't feel like his wife values sex and intimacy in their marriage Spouses wondering if erotic literature has a place in a Christian marriage A husband wanting more novelty in a sexual relationship, but don't know how to talk about it A wife feeling turned off by an overweight husband A spouse unwilling to try new things in the bedroom A wife wanting ideas to woo her husband These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage. If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me. **Episode 200 is coming up and I can't wait. You don't want to miss it. **Sextember is also fast approaching. This challenge starts September 1. Download the Intimately Us app to get all the details as it approaches.   Resources: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God's Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Building a long-term, intimate marriage is the most exciting demanding and soul expanding work that many of us will ever do in this life. All of the specific challenges to confront and overcome will be different from couple to couple, but many of the same tools work for many couples.   I met Keith and Lindsey through my Get Your Marriage On Program, where my team and I help couples and individuals implement various tools and strategies into their marriage to bring their intimacy to the next level. Keith and Lindsey are definitely the kinds of people you'd love to have as close neighbors and friends: they're really genuinely good people. And you can tell that they like each other very much. They've agreed to share their story with you today in hopes of inspiring you in your marriage. And this episode, Keith and Lindsay will answer questions such as the following: What misconceptions and societal pressures affect sex and marital roles? What tools help them most in their journey?  How did they rewrite the many narratives and scripts that they (like all of us) inherited from their culture and families that get in the way of building a good intimate marriage and sex life? How do they balance the demands of work, kids, travel and intimacy all in marriage?   If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I'm very excited about today's episode today! We get to address a lot of juicy topics, such as the following: a reluctant wife feeling pressure to give her husband a hand job a couple that wants to try pegging, but is unsure about it a frustrated wife that feels like all the effort she's making to improve her marriage is one sided and feels a lot of pain because of that a husband shares that the pain of being in a low intimacy marriage, where either fight about sex or have none at all, and he's tired of it a couple asks about using penis rings a frustrated wife, whose husband is only interested in sex if he's the one initiating (which is unfortunately really infrequent) a discouraged wife that must resort to using a vibrator in order to orgasm when penetrative manual oral stimulation is preferred These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage. If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me.   Resources mentioned in today's episode: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God's Direction In Your Sex Life Episode 87: Healing From Pornography with Zach & Darcy Spafford Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

In many marriages, there are people that feel like they do far more than their share of the relationship work, but why do they tend to take on the responsibility of their spouse's share of the relationship, especially in stressful situations?   Intimate marriages are like a system like an air conditioning and heating system in your home. It works hard to keep things at an even temperature or homeostasis. When the temperature gets too high, the air conditioning kicks on to cool things down, and when the temperature gets too low, the heater kicks on to heat things up. So it's a system, a way of keeping things normal and functioning in  a environment where people can live.   When there's stress and anxiety in the relationship, one person may tend to be com overly responsible for the relationship to calm the other person down, to bring the relationship back into homeostasis. This is called the over-functioning / under-functioning dynamic. And it shows up in sex too. If you've ever said to yourself, "If I wasn't the person to always initiate sex here, nothing would ever happen," this could be a sign that you're an over-functioner in your sexual relationship.   My guest on this episode, Dr. Kathleen Smith, is a world renowned expert on systems theory and relationships. And this is her second time on my podcast (her first appearance was episode #45). She's the author of a new book, True to You, in which she discusses the overfunctioning under-functioning dynamic in relationships and how to fix it, and that is also the topic of our discussion today.  If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

"I just have a hard time with some of the things you said on your podcast. How can you be okay with things like toys, lingerie, and even talk about sex so publicly like that. I grew up with the understanding that those things aren't appropriate to discuss." I can absolutely relate. This conversation with this sincere woman took me back several years ago when I was struggling with the exact same concerns. And I've been pondering her concern and reflecting on my own weeks, a month of struggles working through them. I haven't shared my podcast here in depth about the wrestle that I went through that was so profound. It's become my calling in life to help couples like you enjoy a passionate and intimate sexual relationship in your marriage. If you would have told me back then that I'd be talking about sex in nearly 200 podcast episodes with over 1.2 million downloads, along with retreats, coaching and apps, I would've thought you were completely bonkers. But then again, It, might've not been that crazy after all . . . Tune in for discussions about the things I've learned along they way that can help you in your marriage, especially how one can know and decide what is right to do in the bedroom and in your marriage and not, as well as working through conflicts and creating a thriving marriage. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

I get asked frequently about what to do when you (or your husband) comes too quickly during sex, or has premature ejaculation.  I wanted to do an in-depth episode on this topic to address the many questions that we have because frankly, sex isn't that enjoyable when it's over too quick or you just don't last as long as you'd like to. Even if this is something you don't deal with right now in your marriage, the information in this episode will teach you how to keep your sexual health in tip top shape for your marriage.   My guest today is Mark Goldberg. He is a sex therapist out of Maryland that specializes in common male sexual dysfunction issues, such as premature ejaculation. You can get more information about overcoming sexual dysfunctions on his website: erectionIQ.com If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

For most couples, there's a lot of hot passion and excitement during the early dating and engagement time and for a while after the wedding. But over time, we develop routines, scripts, and become habituated to each other. This is normal and serves a good purpose. However, herein lies the challenge: how do you create an intimate marriage with lots of passion long term? This is the very thing I research, teach, and coach about in my program and at my retreats. And I was a guest on the Redhead Reveal podcast. The host, Jen Pinkerton, is a marriage and family therapist out of Houston, and I had a great conversation with her about navigating intimacy in long term marriages. And this is the episode that we recorded that I want to release with you today. In this episode, we're going to answer the questions such asthese: Why is it hard to keep sex passionate when you've been married for a long time? What can couples do to create an environment for passion to thrive? What is validation seeking behavior and how does that tend to interfere with a healthy, intimate relationship? And I think you'll find a lot of other great golden nuggets in this episode! If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

It's so easy to notice how our spouse is making choices that get in the way of them getting what they really want.  Our brains expend tremendous amount of energy trying to get our spouses to see things our way, because from our vantage point, they're self-sabotaging, right? It's so obvious (to us anyway).  Of course, our spouses think think the same thing about us. :) If you or someone you love has ever felt this way, then this podcast episode is for you. We're going to talk about relational self-awareness: what it is, how to get it, and how to build a better relationship with your lover.  My guest today is Dr. Alexandra Solomon. She is a professor of marriage and family therapy at Northwestern university in Chicago. I recently read one of her books, Love Every Day, and we have a great chat about the principles in her book and those she teaches in her class. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com