Mike and Tim Visit Earth

The End. Do not weep for me for I have not gone. I am the wind that shakes the mighty Oak. I am the gentle rain that falls upon your face. I am the spring flower that pushes through the dark earth. I am the chuckling laughter of the mountain stream.  Do not weep for me for I have not gone. I am the memory that dwells in the heart of those that knew me. I am the shadow that dances on the edge of your vision. I am the wild goose that flies south at Autumns call and I shall return at Summer rising. I am the stag on the wild hills way. I am just around the corner. Therefore, the wise weep not. But rejoice at the transformation of my Being. ---For more Mike, buy his comedy albums and listen to Irish Goodbye Podcast!! ---For more Tim, check out what he is up to at thethirdthing.net - go to the shop for healings, readings and gear. Then head on over to thedivinemovement.com to see where Tim and Gina will be next around the world! We love you all, thank you for coming along for the ride. Never forget - 8456410099.

Episode 47. That's all folks - thanks for coming along for the ride! Check out our last hurrah, a live MATVE show with lots of surprise guests at Stand Up NY Comedy Club on December 18!!! Grab tickets at www.standupny.com BUY MIKES ALBUM Healings, Readings, and lots more over at www.thethirdthingnetwork.com

Episode 46. In another groundbreaking episode of Mike and Tim Visit Earth, the guys somehow manage to delve deep into their hearts for a brief moment, only to come leaping out and across every possible line of human decency. This super fun episode has it all. Enjoy! BUY MIKE'S ALBUM!!! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 Want some awesome brain vitamins and Nootropics? Visit www.Timislimitless.com to give Tim a piece of the action! Might consider giving Mike some too! Check out the new and improved www.thethirdthing.net to see what Tim is up to over there...GET SOME HEALINGS AND READINGS TOO!

Episode 45. On this very special holiday episode, Mike and Tim offer up their hearts to all, except one - who is a dirty, dirty liar. Buzz's girlfriend, Woof! Happy Thanksgiving!!! Enjoy! BUY MIKE'S ALBUM!!! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 Want some awesome brain vitamins and Nootropics? Visit www.Timislimitless.com to give Tim a piece of the action! Might consider giving Mike some too! Check out the new and improved www.thethirdthing.net to see what Tim is up to over there...GET SOME HEALINGS AND READINGS TOO!    

Episode 44. The shadow is rising...hello, old friend. BUY MIKE'S ALBUM!!! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 Want some awesome brain vitamins and Nootropics? Visit www.Timislimitless.com to give Tim a piece of the action! Might consider giving Mike some too! Check out the new and improved www.thethirdthing.net to see what Tim is up to over there...

Episode 43. A tear rolled down Mike's cheek as he gave himself permission to take in the shimmering beauty of what stood before him. Standing on the top of the mountain, freezing, he didn't care about the cold. There was never such a sight of splendor, and it seemed to him that it was the depth of this experience which touched his heart space that actually gave him warm sensations, keeping the freezing cold at bay. In fact, it was like he was seeing beauty itself for the first time. Is this what they talk about when we allow ourselves to feel the glory of what it means to be human? It was impossible. Astonishing. He was in a such a state of disbelief that the tears kept on rolling. There, right in front of him, was Tim. Shirtless. Ripped abdominals. Smiling. Happy. They were both happy... Enjoy the show!! BUY MIKE'S ALBUM!!! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 Want some awesome brain vitamins and Nootropics? Visit www.Timislimitless.com to give me a piece of the action! Might consider giving Mike some too! Check out the new and improved www.thethirdthing.net to see what Tim is up to over there...

Episode 42. Another great episode - Season 4 is changing the game. And now...this weeks fan-fiction submission! Enjoy!! The gristle of last night’s vomit clung to Mike’s chin as the light of dawn struck the couch. It was a hard night of not drinking, typical of these Mike and Tim days. Mike managed to wipe most of the remnants from his disgusting hangover face. A quick check of his watch confirmed his fears, it was almost 10 o’clock. There would be no time to clean himself up. He half-stumbled to the computer and flopped into his chair. “Fucking stupid fucking piece of shit computer!” Mike hammered at the keyboard to bring up Skype. In the kitchen, Nicole dropped a fork. “Oh my god! Do you have to make so much noise? I’m trying to be professional here!” Mike shouted at her, but he smiled so it was okay. Totally just a joke, no biggie. Suddenly, his computer shone with transcendental light, Tim had picked up the skype call.  Mike shielded his eyes, but the pure spiritual magnitude of the light permeated his every pore. Instantly he felt marginally better and cheered the fuck up slightly. Maybe, who knows? Tim toned down the light show and started talking. He was saying… something. Mike didn’t know, he wasn’t even sure if Tim knew, but he smiled slightly and laughed occasionally to keep the conversation going. He drifted in and out, waiting for his chance to tell his much more interesting story. He had just opened his mouth to plug his album, I Think It Just Kicked In, available on iTunes, when he noticed a shadow creeping in behind Tim’s luminescence. That flat bastard.   Mike booked it out of the house, running as fast as possible to get to Rockland and warn Tim. The limits of human endurance were nothing to a man as overworked as he, and he ran day and night for weeks on end until he crashed through Gina’s door. The room was in disarray, cats crawling all over the furniture, half-eaten sandwiches everywhere. There, standing over Tim, infecting his aura with his own sickly green light, was Dave.   “Tim!” Mike cried out. Tim said something, but nobody could really hear so Mike just went on. “Sorry, I would have gotten here sooner but I had to stop and tell everyone how much I kicked ass at high school basketball. I’m not sure if I mentioned it to you, but I was possibly the greatest.”   Dave stepped away from Tim. His Duraflame log pulsed menacingly through his shorts, engorged with scepticism. Tim said effectively nothing. Dave stalked closer to Mike. He began opening up videos on his phone, pointing out “fake” blood and “staged” interviews. He droned on and on, forcing insults clumsily into the names of celebrities. Mike tried to get a word in edgewise but was quickly being buried under 70 plus hours of required YouTube viewing. “Just watch it on double speed, just watch it on double speed!” Dave taunted.   Mike tried to focus through the bullshit. He had to pull it together and try the only thing that he knew would stem the flow. He summoned all of his willpower, channelling the patience of MLK. “Dave,” He lied through his teeth. “ I think you may have a point.”   “What?” Dave’s barrage of “truth” stopped. He stood stunned and surprised like a cop being filmed, debating whether to continue the senseless violence. Dave stammered “Um…uh…yeah! Of course.”   Tim may have said something as he got to his feet. Tim quickly aligned the energies of the universe, gathering positive energy into his hands. He was finally ready to heal Dave. Tim slammed his fist into Dave’s kidney, feeling something pop beneath his fist. Dave vomited his negative energy and a good portion of his breakfast onto Gina’s carpet as he collapsed like a tower.  He may have also shit himself. Tim that is, not Dave.   Tim stood in the center of the floor watching the saddened Dave wipe at the vomit on the carpet. Tim might have also said something here, but Mike had already left.   BUY MIKE'S ALBUM https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 DIVINEEVOLUTION.EVENTBRITE use "TDMPOD" for 10% off

Ep 41. THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE AND THEY JUST CAME BACK FROM INNER SPACE!! THIS IS A WILD ONE!  So while we could talk all day long about how much fun it was to record with comedians Mike Feeney and Brendan Sagalow following an epic trip to inner space, there are more important issues at hand - such as the first approved very real fan fiction submission by supporter of the show, Shane R. So, without any further ado, here it is: Mike and Tim Visit Earth Fan Fiction  October 18, 2017 By: Shane R****                                                                                                                                                Chapter 1      Deep in the forests of a time long forgotten, a hooded man moved quietly through a misty twilit morning. For a long time all was quiet, but suddenly there was a brilliant flash of light paired with the crackle of electricity. The hooded man moved warily toward the sudden anomaly. A new man was seen face down, his neck kinked against a tree’s root and his arm twisted awkwardly underneath him.     As the hooded man reached the strange visitor, all he could hear were muffled sobs, murmurs of “I want to kill myself,” and what sounded like a single airy fart. The visitor was wearing a heather gray t-shirt and red heart boxers; somehow his pants were down to his ankles, perhaps explaining his less than graceful landing. Upon closer inspection the t-shirt was more of a kaleidoscopic tie-die of sweat stains than a single color, clearly the wearer was in bad shape.    “Deine Hoesen!” the hooded man shouted in a playful voice, not so much matching his knightly frame. “Ughh...Umphh....Fuck….” The visitor was finally stirring. Just in time too, the previously hooded man had disrobed down to a single pair of silky purple underwear, which just barely concealed his excitement. “Ooohhh Deine Hose ist runter du sexy Schlampe!” As the semi-nude man zeroed in on his ass, the visitor barrell rolled away in the knick of time. He quickly moved on the attack after pulling up his jeans, and with a single punch to the nose rendered his puzzling foe unconscious.    The visitor pulled out several syringes, and quickly injected the unconscious threat several times. “That better fucking stabilize him” he muttered as he took a generous swig of bourbon from a flask in his backpack. He then pulled out a tiny sharp device labeled “ENGLISH, AMERICAN” and stuck it behind the man’s head. “TIM!” yelled the visitor. “Mike?” Tim mumbled, my head is killing me! “Here, take this you faggot” Mike handed Tim a sky-blue headband that not only looked fabulous, it took the pain away like nothing else ever had. “I charged it with….love energy" Mike said as he quickly scrapped off a crusty flake from the fashion accessory.    “Ok man, while you were out I gave you some treatments, your hormones are going to stabilize  over the next 30 seconds, so I’m warning you tha-- Suddenly Tim turned a sickly green, projectile vomited and sprayed more shit out of his ass than a pissed off hippopotamus (seriously, YouTube that shit) before sprinting into a nearby stream and collapsing. Mike dragged Tim out, and did all of the difficult and unpleasant work of cleaning him up, drying him off and dressing him in new, warm, Lulu Lemon clothing he’d brought from the future. Mike would go on to receive seemingly zero benefit from these caring actions, but proved himself to be a key asset in Tim’s long journey. Secretly though he understood things differently and observed, and at this point in the story, is mostly dormant. Yet deep inside of a dark crevice within his being, something stirs that cannot be stopped.    As Tim came to, Mike said to him “we’ll deal with what just happened right now later, but now we have to move. Hopefully the memory serum worked, because if my information is correct you’re a different incarnation the soul that came into the 1980s New York time period with me in the form of Tim Rothschild. Tim stared blankly at Mike, a single tear streaming down his face. Without wasting any more time Mike locked arms with Tim, pointed a small device at them, and said “we’re going to Rainbow Road.” And with a flash they were flung through the fabric of the universe to their surreal destination.                                                          TO BE CONTINUED...  Enjoy the Show!!!

Episode 40. Mike and Tim have another super fun episode enjoying each other's company from afar, but it feels oh so close as their conversation warms Mike's freezing apartment as well as his icy heart. Check out the newest addition to the show: the OBExpress - giving metaphysical traffic updates every Wednesday morning.  Also, this is our standard bi-weekly request for more fan fiction. We hear a lot of "oh yeah totally gonna do it" and "just about finished, sending it right over" but then nothing. NOTHING. Mike and Tim are left on the edge of their seat, fingers in their butts...and really thats just not fair to us. Shame on all of you. Shame! Enjoy the show!   THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12 Coupon Code "Timetofuckthemoon" for 6.9% off www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com   BUY MIKES ALBUM https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368    

Episode 39. At the culmination of much hard work and preparation - almost a year of diligent planning - Mike found himself running down the steps of the museum about as fast as he could without risking a fall, hyper aware of the importance of what he was carrying in his hands. He could hear the screech of tires as Tim whipped around the corner, arriving at their meeting point just in time. So far so good. “We cool”? Tim asked calmly, as Mike slid into the back seat of the Jeep, keeping a close eye on what was behind them. “No.” Mike said with a clear focus as he locked eyes with Tim, seeming to communicate something nonverbal which they both understood. “Someone knew we were coming.” Tim nodded silently. He relaxed his shoulders and took a deep breath, then exhaled. It was always a pleasant surprise to realize how alive he felt during the worst of times. He was reminded of all the past adventures he and Mike had been through - the narrow escapes, and how easily either one of them could not have made it home without capture, or worse. But they always did, and they always came back for more. Luck was ALWAYS on their side. “Time to dance.” Tim floored the Jeep. Mike knocked out the back window with the end of his rifle, careful not to disturb the relic inside his pouch. Almost immediately, what appeared to be a small army of vehicles came up quickly from behind and in front, blocking the Jeep at the nearest intersection. “GO!” Mike yelled, handing the relic to Tim with the most delicate touch. Tim knew what this meant. He put it in a special container designed to ensure that if something did happen to the relic, it would remain intact. The container alone cost nearly $50,000, something Tim wasn't too happy about at the time, but now he knew it was the right choice - this wasn't going as well as he hoped. He cut the jeep and drove it directly into the nearest coffee shop, narrowly missing a few unsuspecting customers as glass blew everywhere. Screams erupted as Mike opened fire on the pursuing vehicles, a familiar tinge of guilt running up his spine as he connected with a few shots.  And then it happened - a bullet screamed past Mike’s face, and then another striking him on the side of the head. Tim, sticking to the plan, was already gone. Enjoy the show! BUY MIKES ALBUM https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12 Coupon Code "TDMPOD" for 10% off www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com  

Episode 38. Season 4! Season 4! Season 4! This chapter is deliberately left wide open for listeners of the show to send in their own fan-fiction to be acted out by Mike and Tim in following shows. Prizes, awards, and recognition will be showered upon worthy participants! If by next week nothing is submitted, a prize will be awarded to Tim, who will be at that time the only person writing the fan-fiction, adding an interesting dimension to this whole thing - one that we wish to avoid but which feels somewhat inevitable. Tim is looking forward to it, to be honest. Enjoy the show! BUY MIKES ALBUM https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12 Coupon Code "TDMPOD" for 10% off www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com        

Episode 37. Mike stumbles onto Rainbow Road for the first time, questioning how he got himself into this predicament in the first place. Tim, never questioning the information he receives in the dream state, knew exactly when Mike would arrive, and was waiting.  "Aho!" Tim yells, his grin spreading widely across his face. "What the hell is your problem and where am I? And since when do you say 'Aho'?"  "That's the official greeting of The Rainbow Road. You don't like it?" "I don't like any of this." Mike replied "Oh, you will."  And with that, Tim was gone. Using an old trick Mike learned to discern between waking and dream states, he looked down at his feet, and they were there. He looked at his hands. Yeah, those were there too.  "I guess this isn't a dream." He muttered to himself. The vibrating colors of the road, undulating like a swell in a deep sea, swallowed by the darkest of the dark light, should have made him uneasy, but the soft glow radiating off of the road offered some sort of unnatural relaxation to his system. Mike looked as far as he could see - behind him, nothing. Pure darkness. He shuddered. Before him, The Rainbow Road, with no end in sight. The Road was calling to a place deep inside of him. What was it that it wanted? This place is ancient, he thought. Inside the recesses of Mike's brain, he thought he heard Tim chuckle. Shaking it off, he took another step on the road, and then another. It was then that he realized that Tim had not been wearing his bandana...   BUY MIKES ALBUM https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12 Coupon Code "TDMPOD" for 10% off www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com      

Episode 36. As season 3 comes to an end, Mike and Tim take no time to reflect on its transitory nature, but instead choose to tell hilarious stories. But the facts don't change - production has turned chaotic, it is nearly impossible to see each other in person outside of highway rest stops, and both Gina and Jessica are gone, presumed to be dead.  But as the two boys, now quite obviously men, press forward through the haze - catching a glimpse of light every now and then - only to be overtaken by the fog of what we are actually doing here...what can we all expect? Season 4 is coming. Change is coming. There is always chaos before order. Order before chaos. Nobody is ready for Season 4, except us. You're definitely not ready at all. Get ready. *note* Mike and Tim did take time to reflect AFTER the show which is why we know we are ready and you are not. GET READY.

Episode 35. Mike and Tim trade spots on opposite ends of the country, triggering story after story from Tim's dark past. Also, Mikes 1 year wedding anniversary, his album absolutely crushing the charts and anyone else who stands in his path, and Tim goes off on climate change, gays and asians (and really feels uncomfortable about it).   BUY MIKE'S NUMBER ONE RANKED ALBUM HERE: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 HEALINGS AND READINGS WITH TIM @ www.thethirdthing.net/shop  

Episode 34. A lasting friendship endures the day after Rabbit Hole. The day after Tim's birthday party. The day after Mike drinks too much. The day after Tomorrow. BUY MIKE'S ALBUM.  

Episode 33. Christ Consciousness. Also, I think we said several times during this show that the DITRH reunion will have already been recorded by the time this comes out and we were absolutely wrong...and DMT. *Some audio issues were not fixable so you just gotta deal - its fine, just not perfect. Like you're romantic partner. Same thing.

Episode 32. Now that the sun is gone, what shall we do? Mike and Tim discuss a surplus of extremely complex topics and break them down in a way that is easy for any listener at any level to digest and immediately integrate into their lives - proving to be beneficial on multiple levels, often indicating dramatic positive life changes. This episode breaks down barriers and builds them back up in a truer, more steadfast form. Taking a holistic, yet skeptical view, deep truths are uncovered regarding every facet of the human race. This is the only episode on this planet like it.

Episode 31. This is part 2 of 2. This is part 2 of what happens after Tim walks into Mike's apartment in order to salvage whats left of their friendship, only to find it smashed to pieces repeatedly - AND THEN COME BACK STRONGER THAN EVER! Life is full of mysteries, and this episode is one of them...to Mike...who doesn't remember.

This is part 1 of 2. Tim walks into a swirling mess as he enters Mike's apartment and discovers, to his own horror, the dark secrets behind successful comedy. Additionally, more f*ck you's are thrown back and forth than in recorded podcast history, a much needed and healthy exchange to be concluded in the following episode. 

Mike and Tim get a little loose, have some fun and get deep as they enter into their second recording at the famous Douglas House. OK let's be honest - we are completely out of control and will be goddamned if it isn't fun as hell! Oh, and something is brewing with "the other show," - stay tuned.

Mike and Tim find themselves in the most haunted room of the famous "Douglas House," surrounded by ghosts of the past, present, and future - eventually performing their own version of 'Schmitts Gay' just moments after recording. Also, as a I type this, Mike is watching "Robin Hood, Men in Tights." Enjoy, this is a fun one!!

Ohhhh baby! What a special episode. Two worlds collide as Mike Feeney and Tim Rothschild fight it out over who is the superior co-host. If you love origin stories then this is the episode for you. We jump around quite a bit, but get deep as we investigate what makes each of the boys tick and why they hate each other so much.

After an extended hiatus due to some health issues, the boys are back! Mike and Tim explode back into podcasting like an unkinked hose. Be prepared to hear one months worth of adventures in 95 minutes of non-stop stories. Also get tickets to Mike Cannon's debut comedy album recording July 16th at New York Comedy Club. Tickets available at www.mikecannoncomedy.com or follow the pinned tweet @IamMikeCannon. For all things Divine Movement follow @TheDivineMVMNT

As Season 2 comes to an end, the uncertainties surrounding Tim's health will hopefully be answered. But one question remains - will there be a season 3?

Episode 24. As Tim inches closer to death's door the gang rallies to record an amazing show.

Episode 23.   The boys pour some more gasoline on the bridge to make sure it's properly incinerated.

Episode 22. In one of our favorite episodes to date - Mike turns into a fire breathing dragon, scorching the comedic landscape and any relationships he has along the way.  

Episode 21. Part 2 of Mike and Tim's reunion after The Divine Movement's trip to the Far East. Everyone's back with stories to tell! What's that? Did you feel that? ...underneath the surface...a rumble...Mike is growing stronger... *stay tuned*

Episode 20. After an extended period of time apart, the boys are super excited to be together again!

Episode 19. Anything is possible in this very special edition of Mike and Tim Visit Earth. Mike and Jessica, home in New York, record a show on their own, content unknown to Tim and Gina who are doing exactly the same on the other side of the world. Tune in to find out what happens when Mike and Tim are...A WORLD APART!

Episode 18. Tim shits his pants but secretly wishes he could just shit all over Mike's stupid couch.   To check out awesome wool socks and more go to @erins_knitknacks on instagram.

Episode 17. Mike makes a terrible mistake and pays for it, while Tim wears his blanket in solidarity. Also, Gigantic Killer Robots and the miracle cure for ALL disease.

Episode 16. A thunderbolt from seemingly nowhere strikes Mike directly in the heart, killing him instantly. Tim is stunned, yet continues hitting home runs. 

Episode 15. Mike systematically breaks down everything he sees wrong with Tim while being nearly structurally and emotionally perfect himself.

Episode 14. This is Tim here - I'm in Miami for music week and I have to admit, I got a little too high to capture the essence of the show. I am also blinded by the editing process earlier today through which I recognized a number of things I dislike about myself, and am currently in process of riding. All of this amuses me. I sit here smiling, glass of wine in hand, looking out the window from the 12th floor of the Hyatt and wonder "will anyone even read this description at all?" and "why do all hotels in Miami have to be so cold?" Well Open Heart Army, I hope you enjoy the show :)

Episode 13. Jokes, good laughs, the redwoods, green emerald eyes, bengal tigers, sensitive hearts, brilliant minds, golden eagles and monarch butterflies - this episode has it all.

Episode 12. It's a whole new ballgame as Season 2 opens up with with some monster Home Runs!

Episode 11. Emotions run high as Tim's heart explodes all over the studio.

Episode 10. Broadcasting history was made and nobody noticed. Also - DMT, the state of comedy, and 40 million farts in your face.

Episode 9. Mike and Tim dive into the Super Bowl, Lady Gaga, blah blah blah and then Mike shocks the world revealing his true identity in a past life.

Episode 8. Tim gets in touch with the darker side of his history as Mike tells his origin story.

Episode 7. Mike and Tim take their seat at the political table and tell the world the way it oughta be.

Episode 6. Mike calls Tim out and the DITRH breakup.

Episode 5. Mike and Tim take turns telling road stories, Holy Ship! and the ultimate shame story.

Episode 4. Mike and Tim make amends for the most part but Tim secretly stews in his own self doubt.

Episode 3. Mike and Tim get off on weird footing as Tim perceives something that may or may not be true.

The Christmas Special. Recorded on 12/17/2016. Two cats were present at the time of this recording.

Mike and Tim blow the fucking doors down on episode 1 of Mike and Tim Visit Earth. Recorded 12/17/2016