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Send us a textHello beautiful people! Ughh dealing with fake people. It's literally not that hard to be a decent person. Let's talk about handling fake people with grace, setting boundaries without the drama, and keeping your vibe unbothered and untouchable. Protecting your energy is the ultimate power move.  i hope you enjoy. i love you. have an amazing day. follow your dreams. etc etc ✩ CHECK OUT (my book) BRIGHT DAYS AHEAD ✩ Available on Amazon. ✭ my book:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8VQX3TJ✩ MY SOCIAL MEDIA ✩✭ instagram:   / _kellyannward_  ✭ tik tok: @kellyannward_✭youtube:    / @kellyannward  ✭ instagram:   / theward.method  I LOVE YOU :)-Kelly Ann Ward

This week Devo is getting into the spirit of the season! With eggnog?! Ughh. Meanwhile, Neil Sedaka is having a pretty crummy Christmas, Tim Cavanagh's dog isn't doing much better, and Fountains of Wayne have some Christmas wishes that might prove to be a little tricky to come by. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. 1. "What a Lousy Rotten Christmas" by Neil Sedaka 2. "My Dog Don't Like Christmas" by Tim Cavanagh 3. News of the Stupid! 4. "Alien for Christmas" by Fountains of Wayne Neil Sedaka is on Instagram @NeilSedakaMusic Tim Cavanagh is at TimCav.com Fountains of Wayne are on your favorite streaming platform Thank you to our Patreon backers for making this show possible!!!

Welcome back ragers to the best movie review podcast on the planet. The rage rolls on from the Film Rage Studio. This week the Film Rage Crew watched the musical extravaganza known as Wicked. What did they think? You may be surprised or you may not be. Next they caught a couple films at the CUFF Docs Festival. They took in DEVO which chronicles the band from the very beginning right through to the present and then they saw Chain Reactions which is a deep dive into the influence The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has had on film makers fans and pop culture in general. Then finally both Jim and Bryce were dared to watch Gus Van Sant's Psycho. Introduction-0:00 The Amazing Murman Predicts-2:19 In Cinema Wicked (2024)-5:03 CUFF Docs Calgary Underground Film Festival DEVO (2024)-24:17 Chain Reactions (2024)-32:28 Murman Minute-36:57 Open Rage Jim's open rage-Something about trailers-40:40 Bryce's open rage-Wicked.....Part 1......UGHH-43:45 The Lists Mesmerized Off Proposed-45:22 Rage or Dare Psycho (1998)-48:33 Bryce pulls from Jim's bag yet again-58:56 Outro-1:01:38 Thanks Ragers for listening to our film review podcast. Rage On!!! https://www.filmrageyyc.com/ https://filmrage.podbean.com/ https://www.facebook.com/filmrageyyc https://nerdyphotographer.com/social/ https://www.leonardconlinphotos.com/

'james bond' [Instrumentals For A Higher Purpose, Collection I- 'better off dead.' - track 8] Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū I heard Robin Williams was here. Very briefly, yes. How did you do that? TINA FEY Do me next! lol. (That's not how this works.) (lol.) Season 9! Closer Notes: LEGENDS- ENTER THR MULTIVERSE: LEGENDS The real Jimmy Fallon and the Actual Billie Ellish are trapped inside of each others bodies, along with their ascended counterparts, ancient alien mystics who, in search for a “missing link” extraterrestrial from a long forgotten cosmos, must search for Dammit, how am I supposed to write that. FUCK! I told you he was a magician! —I TOLD you don't fuck with that guy! I told you! Fuuuuuck! FUCK. FUHCK. Man, we're fucked. We're so fucked. Who's body is this? Ah, wait. Fuck. Dammit… Ughh. Ugghhhhh. Jim, could I see you for a moment. Oh wait a second [The Tonight Show, Starring Jimmy Fallon] Oh— Jim. Is that who I am? I Uh… I guess—? I'm Jimmy Fallon? …Sometimes. Yeah. I'm Jimmy Fallon! As far as I know. We still have to figure out how this happened , [Liz] How did you not know who I was?! We've met like 6 times! I've met everyone 6 times! I'm mad famous! I'm a genius! I'm a genius… I fucking hate my life. I want to die. Ooh. Could have been anything. Whose body is THIS? Just get in. Just get in. I—don't want to. Oh, a body's about to open up. I gotta go. —you're leaving now?! Yeah, I gotta call you back. This last minute?! It's like a budget-fare-hopper thing. But *click* lol I love how these aliens are using like —like old times telephones. You should see their existence. It's wild. Why even use telephones as telepaths. They're like relics. I promise, I did not mean to hurt you. —I promise, I hurt myself worse. For the record, that little old Englishman that lives inside of (Everyone) —is something wrong with you. A lot. This body used to belong to “Tha Supacree?!” I LOVE that show. What “show” —tis a show. It's a show on my home planet… And what planet is this? You will never know. [Unfamous] Ugh. Now the magical negroes thing makes sense. Have you seen the president of peacock? Have you seen the president of my balls? Have you seen the president? What? For real. She's missing. Are you serio— Yes. You're secret service! I'm just as disappointed as you are. You're so fired. I'm pretty sure only the president can do that. THATS why they sent you. That's it, yes! TO BREAK MY HEART? Cause it sings… “CAUSE IT SINGS?!” —it's supposed to… Look, f-[censored] Jesus Christ. The only thing. you're gonna get from breaking my heart—is [COMPLETELY INCOHERENT SCREAMO EMO ROCK MUSIC.] lol I think I got my written WALKEN impression down. —ACES. What? I got— Goddammit. Four—Aces. Goddammit!! Dammit! Who let him in?! It's multidimensional poker. Nobody “let” him in. —I just— He just VOILA! Appears. Dammit. “Voila.” Huh. I wrote that ages ago, Do you remember what it was about? No. Doesn't matter anyway, we're not gonna find it in here. Let's keep moving. — Supacree? No. I'm not supacree. The THIS IS THE BEST SHIW EVER. I know, I love it. We have to find the original supacree! We must! You are the supacree The supacree —no. I'm not. But this body. Yeah— I drove around in that body for a little while Cause I had to But that dimension ain't right The whole world's gone wrong Everyone's coughing, people are robots— I got punched. —I saw that. I love your show. Not my show. I'm not supacree. But you are!! But I'm not. Maybe I was, once— But, that was at least two suicides ago! WHAT. Two suicides ago?! Fuck this, imm out. I thought you were obsessed with me. No, Jimmy Fallon. I am you. And guess what; I'm the part of you, that hates myself, so. The part that doesn't exist. Oh. It exists. That's how we got here. That's how we all got here. We're all geniuses; That is the singularity. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME— Hey! She's got a good arm. That's cause it's What the FUCK. Get AOUT. “Jack-Jack” Parr is a multidimensional poly form shapeshifter. That doesn't seem like a coincidence, Disney, I'm just saying. “Book III: Puzzle Pieces” AGH, I— HURT. woah, okay. No. If you ever actually ugly cry like that I'll kill you. [very ugly cry] (Eagerly seeking approval) —it's funny cause it's just acting, right? I—yeah—but, Jesus Christ… GOD If he actually ever ugly cries like that, I'll shoot him. [super-duper-very-ugly-cry] GOOGLE Oh my GOD. SHUT UP! [Shoots Jimmy Fallon *without looking up from cooking.] DAMN, GOD. —I hate that. Oh, Damn. So that's how that happened. Damn, God. That was cold. Don't worry. He'll be back. Damn. He'll always be back. MEANWHILE, on 30 ROCK in the actual multidimensional, …Hornburger…! Damn. So wait. Every since the fourth wall broke… YO, YO. Oh, hey, Seth. what in the [bleeeeeeep] is THIS? This is my attorney. Damn, even she's hot… I'm suing you: I'm honored. Where's Jason Sudakis? THAT'S RIGHT. Ah shit. I don't think about whips so much as chains I tried to change, But everyone hates me. I hope it rains for the rest of the semester— Talking only brings on motorcycles, Slamming doors, And awful robots. I've got nothing for my son besides these songs. Someone should just start a war on poverty. I've got palms and novels, words galore— But no money— You can't hurt me Johnny Carson's on the mornings —and on varsity. I lettered in Letterman; I'll take Jack Parr, Against my better senses, Stick to Telivision, This isn't Steve Allen; I'm Steve Martin; (Sure you are, hon) Fallon's on the Dollar now; If Regan was an Actor, Then I guess— Your session timed out. Whatever. I want to die. [I'll wear a collar, now.] [The Festival Project ™ ] Lil bittttzxxx I met a guy once, that told me Every time he came, He died. Every time he fucking came, He fucking died. “Alright, next lifetime.” Every single orgasm— Different lifetime. Every ejaculation— New fucking shit. Sometimes the bitch wasn't even the same. He would just cum, She turned into someone else. Oh no! I thought to myself like “Fuck that shit. I couldn't imagine that.” I couldn't even understand the concept— But as I would learn later the word “orgasm” does in fact mean “tiny death” Which is nuts. I started to wonder “Are all guys like that?” That would explain things. If they're all like that maybe that's why they seem to just— *poof* “All better now” Only from a woman's perspective it's more like— He turns into someone else. No, I'm still the same— Now he's over here like “I'm a king” I'm like “Really? Before you were just a cashier.” Hm. Look at that. I'm a cash register. lol. But then, I started thinking more about it— I've been celibate for a long time But sometimes I still— You know, Whatever. But I don't watch porn. I just think it all up— Just— Use my imagination. And after doing that for awhile, Like, for years, I started to ponder on this: With the age of OnlyFans and Snapchat and entire markets born from men needing something to look at to jack off too— And deciding I was against doing that for myself because, you know I didn't want the spiritual reciprocation of some dude collecting my photos and videos and jacking off to that shit. Like, even if I got paid for it— I'm going through all this spiritual shit , All this praying and meditation and I'm thinking “Like no, if someone's like, buying all my content I'm some how some way going to feel that spiritually.” “I'm going to have some kind of effect on my soul from that, and that's nonsense.” That's like selling your soul in a way— Like, yes, it's just photographs, It's just your body— But guess what. Your soul lives in your body! So— what! Someone's jacking off to a picture or video of you in exchange for money— That's a piece of you just — Out there, And you don't know who these guys are! They're just guys with money! Come to find out Every time he ejaculates to your photo or video, He goes into the next fucking life— And takes your picture with him. OH NOOOO. So I'm like, Fuck that. Let's just—- I don't need porn. I'll just make something up, Or like— Hey, I'll just-/ Fantasize a little bit. But then I realized, also— Like, That could be dangerous. What if I'm like— Doin-the-do— And someone from actual like real-life pops into my head. Uh oh! Then I was like, “Damn, what if. Like. Whenever I came, like, whatever or whoever I came-to, just like— Collapsed and shit” I'm like, “Ah—“ Some like supermodel from a magazine cover is like, Just fucking drops. Lol. Just falls out, somewhere. lol. Oh no! Now take like an outer look, You porn addicts. What if that happened to you? What if whoever the fuck you're jacking off to just— BLAM. Lol. Every time you cum— Whoever you're thinking about just— OH SHIT. Someone help him! Flat on their face. Oh no. What a world. Jesus. “Someone help him!”” Ahahaha. Now I have to be careful. I just make people up and hope to God there's no one on the planet that actually looks like that, who that might be. I just make dudes up, I'm like “I need a God” lol Create someone entirely just for this purpose, Who then just— OH SHIT. vanishes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™] L E G E N D S //return negative energy to sender //return harmful energy to sender //reflect pain to sender >>banish demonic energy< -Ū. Coming Up Next… The Wonderful World of S Ū P A © R E E ™ Copyright 2024 The Complex Collective © | 2019 The Festival Project, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

'james bond' [Instrumentals For A Higher Purpose, Collection I- 'better off dead.' - track 8] Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū I heard Robin Williams was here. Very briefly, yes. How did you do that? TINA FEY Do me next! lol. (That's not how this works.) (lol.) Season 9! Closer Notes: LEGENDS- ENTER THR MULTIVERSE: LEGENDS The real Jimmy Fallon and the Actual Billie Ellish are trapped inside of each others bodies, along with their ascended counterparts, ancient alien mystics who, in search for a “missing link” extraterrestrial from a long forgotten cosmos, must search for Dammit, how am I supposed to write that. FUCK! I told you he was a magician! —I TOLD you don't fuck with that guy! I told you! Fuuuuuck! FUCK. FUHCK. Man, we're fucked. We're so fucked. Who's body is this? Ah, wait. Fuck. Dammit… Ughh. Ugghhhhh. Jim, could I see you for a moment. Oh wait a second [The Tonight Show, Starring Jimmy Fallon] Oh— Jim. Is that who I am? I Uh… I guess—? I'm Jimmy Fallon? …Sometimes. Yeah. I'm Jimmy Fallon! As far as I know. We still have to figure out how this happened , [Liz] How did you not know who I was?! We've met like 6 times! I've met everyone 6 times! I'm mad famous! I'm a genius! I'm a genius… I fucking hate my life. I want to die. Ooh. Could have been anything. Whose body is THIS? Just get in. Just get in. I—don't want to. Oh, a body's about to open up. I gotta go. —you're leaving now?! Yeah, I gotta call you back. This last minute?! It's like a budget-fare-hopper thing. But *click* lol I love how these aliens are using like —like old times telephones. You should see their existence. It's wild. Why even use telephones as telepaths. They're like relics. I promise, I did not mean to hurt you. —I promise, I hurt myself worse. For the record, that little old Englishman that lives inside of (Everyone) —is something wrong with you. A lot. This body used to belong to “Tha Supacree?!” I LOVE that show. What “show” —tis a show. It's a show on my home planet… And what planet is this? You will never know. [Unfamous] Ugh. Now the magical negroes thing makes sense. Have you seen the president of peacock? Have you seen the president of my balls? Have you seen the president? What? For real. She's missing. Are you serio— Yes. You're secret service! I'm just as disappointed as you are. You're so fired. I'm pretty sure only the president can do that. THATS why they sent you. That's it, yes! TO BREAK MY HEART? Cause it sings… “CAUSE IT SINGS?!” —it's supposed to… Look, f-[censored] Jesus Christ. The only thing. you're gonna get from breaking my heart—is [COMPLETELY INCOHERENT SCREAMO EMO ROCK MUSIC.] lol I think I got my written WALKEN impression down. —ACES. What? I got— Goddammit. Four—Aces. Goddammit!! Dammit! Who let him in?! It's multidimensional poker. Nobody “let” him in. —I just— He just VOILA! Appears. Dammit. “Voila.” Huh. I wrote that ages ago, Do you remember what it was about? No. Doesn't matter anyway, we're not gonna find it in here. Let's keep moving. — Supacree? No. I'm not supacree. The THIS IS THE BEST SHIW EVER. I know, I love it. We have to find the original supacree! We must! You are the supacree The supacree —no. I'm not. But this body. Yeah— I drove around in that body for a little while Cause I had to But that dimension ain't right The whole world's gone wrong Everyone's coughing, people are robots— I got punched. —I saw that. I love your show. Not my show. I'm not supacree. But you are!! But I'm not. Maybe I was, once— But, that was at least two suicides ago! WHAT. Two suicides ago?! Fuck this, imm out. I thought you were obsessed with me. No, Jimmy Fallon. I am you. And guess what; I'm the part of you, that hates myself, so. The part that doesn't exist. Oh. It exists. That's how we got here. That's how we all got here. We're all geniuses; That is the singularity. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME— Hey! She's got a good arm. That's cause it's What the FUCK. Get AOUT. “Jack-Jack” Parr is a multidimensional poly form shapeshifter. That doesn't seem like a coincidence, Disney, I'm just saying. “Book III: Puzzle Pieces” AGH, I— HURT. woah, okay. No. If you ever actually ugly cry like that I'll kill you. [very ugly cry] (Eagerly seeking approval) —it's funny cause it's just acting, right? I—yeah—but, Jesus Christ… GOD If he actually ever ugly cries like that, I'll shoot him. [super-duper-very-ugly-cry] GOOGLE Oh my GOD. SHUT UP! [Shoots Jimmy Fallon *without looking up from cooking.] DAMN, GOD. —I hate that. Oh, Damn. So that's how that happened. Damn, God. That was cold. Don't worry. He'll be back. Damn. He'll always be back. MEANWHILE, on 30 ROCK in the actual multidimensional, …Hornburger…! Damn. So wait. Every since the fourth wall broke… YO, YO. Oh, hey, Seth. what in the [bleeeeeeep] is THIS? This is my attorney. Damn, even she's hot… I'm suing you: I'm honored. Where's Jason Sudakis? THAT'S RIGHT. Ah shit. I don't think about whips so much as chains I tried to change, But everyone hates me. I hope it rains for the rest of the semester— Talking only brings on motorcycles, Slamming doors, And awful robots. I've got nothing for my son besides these songs. Someone should just start a war on poverty. I've got palms and novels, words galore— But no money— You can't hurt me Johnny Carson's on the mornings —and on varsity. I lettered in Letterman; I'll take Jack Parr, Against my better senses, Stick to Telivision, This isn't Steve Allen; I'm Steve Martin; (Sure you are, hon) Fallon's on the Dollar now; If Regan was an Actor, Then I guess— Your session timed out. Whatever. I want to die. [I'll wear a collar, now.] [The Festival Project ™ ] Lil bittttzxxx I met a guy once, that told me Every time he came, He died. Every time he fucking came, He fucking died. “Alright, next lifetime.” Every single orgasm— Different lifetime. Every ejaculation— New fucking shit. Sometimes the bitch wasn't even the same. He would just cum, She turned into someone else. Oh no! I thought to myself like “Fuck that shit. I couldn't imagine that.” I couldn't even understand the concept— But as I would learn later the word “orgasm” does in fact mean “tiny death” Which is nuts. I started to wonder “Are all guys like that?” That would explain things. If they're all like that maybe that's why they seem to just— *poof* “All better now” Only from a woman's perspective it's more like— He turns into someone else. No, I'm still the same— Now he's over here like “I'm a king” I'm like “Really? Before you were just a cashier.” Hm. Look at that. I'm a cash register. lol. But then, I started thinking more about it— I've been celibate for a long time But sometimes I still— You know, Whatever. But I don't watch porn. I just think it all up— Just— Use my imagination. And after doing that for awhile, Like, for years, I started to ponder on this: With the age of OnlyFans and Snapchat and entire markets born from men needing something to look at to jack off too— And deciding I was against doing that for myself because, you know I didn't want the spiritual reciprocation of some dude collecting my photos and videos and jacking off to that shit. Like, even if I got paid for it— I'm going through all this spiritual shit , All this praying and meditation and I'm thinking “Like no, if someone's like, buying all my content I'm some how some way going to feel that spiritually.” “I'm going to have some kind of effect on my soul from that, and that's nonsense.” That's like selling your soul in a way— Like, yes, it's just photographs, It's just your body— But guess what. Your soul lives in your body! So— what! Someone's jacking off to a picture or video of you in exchange for money— That's a piece of you just — Out there, And you don't know who these guys are! They're just guys with money! Come to find out Every time he ejaculates to your photo or video, He goes into the next fucking life— And takes your picture with him. OH NOOOO. So I'm like, Fuck that. Let's just—- I don't need porn. I'll just make something up, Or like— Hey, I'll just-/ Fantasize a little bit. But then I realized, also— Like, That could be dangerous. What if I'm like— Doin-the-do— And someone from actual like real-life pops into my head. Uh oh! Then I was like, “Damn, what if. Like. Whenever I came, like, whatever or whoever I came-to, just like— Collapsed and shit” I'm like, “Ah—“ Some like supermodel from a magazine cover is like, Just fucking drops. Lol. Just falls out, somewhere. lol. Oh no! Now take like an outer look, You porn addicts. What if that happened to you? What if whoever the fuck you're jacking off to just— BLAM. Lol. Every time you cum— Whoever you're thinking about just— OH SHIT. Someone help him! Flat on their face. Oh no. What a world. Jesus. “Someone help him!”” Ahahaha. Now I have to be careful. I just make people up and hope to God there's no one on the planet that actually looks like that, who that might be. I just make dudes up, I'm like “I need a God” lol Create someone entirely just for this purpose, Who then just— OH SHIT. vanishes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™] L E G E N D S //return negative energy to sender //return harmful energy to sender //reflect pain to sender >>banish demonic energy< -Ū. Coming Up Next… The Wonderful World of S Ū P A © R E E ™ Copyright 2024 The Complex Collective © | 2019 The Festival Project, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

'james bond' [Instrumentals For A Higher Purpose, Collection I- 'better off dead.' - track 8] Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū I heard Robin Williams was here. Very briefly, yes. How did you do that? TINA FEY Do me next! lol. (That's not how this works.) (lol.) Season 9! Closer Notes: LEGENDS- ENTER THR MULTIVERSE: LEGENDS The real Jimmy Fallon and the Actual Billie Ellish are trapped inside of each others bodies, along with their ascended counterparts, ancient alien mystics who, in search for a “missing link” extraterrestrial from a long forgotten cosmos, must search for Dammit, how am I supposed to write that. FUCK! I told you he was a magician! —I TOLD you don't fuck with that guy! I told you! Fuuuuuck! FUCK. FUHCK. Man, we're fucked. We're so fucked. Who's body is this? Ah, wait. Fuck. Dammit… Ughh. Ugghhhhh. Jim, could I see you for a moment. Oh wait a second [The Tonight Show, Starring Jimmy Fallon] Oh— Jim. Is that who I am? I Uh… I guess—? I'm Jimmy Fallon? …Sometimes. Yeah. I'm Jimmy Fallon! As far as I know. We still have to figure out how this happened , [Liz] How did you not know who I was?! We've met like 6 times! I've met everyone 6 times! I'm mad famous! I'm a genius! I'm a genius… I fucking hate my life. I want to die. Ooh. Could have been anything. Whose body is THIS? Just get in. Just get in. I—don't want to. Oh, a body's about to open up. I gotta go. —you're leaving now?! Yeah, I gotta call you back. This last minute?! It's like a budget-fare-hopper thing. But *click* lol I love how these aliens are using like —like old times telephones. You should see their existence. It's wild. Why even use telephones as telepaths. They're like relics. I promise, I did not mean to hurt you. —I promise, I hurt myself worse. For the record, that little old Englishman that lives inside of (Everyone) —is something wrong with you. A lot. This body used to belong to “Tha Supacree?!” I LOVE that show. What “show” —tis a show. It's a show on my home planet… And what planet is this? You will never know. [Unfamous] Ugh. Now the magical negroes thing makes sense. Have you seen the president of peacock? Have you seen the president of my balls? Have you seen the president? What? For real. She's missing. Are you serio— Yes. You're secret service! I'm just as disappointed as you are. You're so fired. I'm pretty sure only the president can do that. THATS why they sent you. That's it, yes! TO BREAK MY HEART? Cause it sings… “CAUSE IT SINGS?!” —it's supposed to… Look, f-[censored] Jesus Christ. The only thing. you're gonna get from breaking my heart—is [COMPLETELY INCOHERENT SCREAMO EMO ROCK MUSIC.] lol I think I got my written WALKEN impression down. —ACES. What? I got— Goddammit. Four—Aces. Goddammit!! Dammit! Who let him in?! It's multidimensional poker. Nobody “let” him in. —I just— He just VOILA! Appears. Dammit. “Voila.” Huh. I wrote that ages ago, Do you remember what it was about? No. Doesn't matter anyway, we're not gonna find it in here. Let's keep moving. — Supacree? No. I'm not supacree. The THIS IS THE BEST SHIW EVER. I know, I love it. We have to find the original supacree! We must! You are the supacree The supacree —no. I'm not. But this body. Yeah— I drove around in that body for a little while Cause I had to But that dimension ain't right The whole world's gone wrong Everyone's coughing, people are robots— I got punched. —I saw that. I love your show. Not my show. I'm not supacree. But you are!! But I'm not. Maybe I was, once— But, that was at least two suicides ago! WHAT. Two suicides ago?! Fuck this, imm out. I thought you were obsessed with me. No, Jimmy Fallon. I am you. And guess what; I'm the part of you, that hates myself, so. The part that doesn't exist. Oh. It exists. That's how we got here. That's how we all got here. We're all geniuses; That is the singularity. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME— Hey! She's got a good arm. That's cause it's What the FUCK. Get AOUT. “Jack-Jack” Parr is a multidimensional poly form shapeshifter. That doesn't seem like a coincidence, Disney, I'm just saying. “Book III: Puzzle Pieces” AGH, I— HURT. woah, okay. No. If you ever actually ugly cry like that I'll kill you. [very ugly cry] (Eagerly seeking approval) —it's funny cause it's just acting, right? I—yeah—but, Jesus Christ… GOD If he actually ever ugly cries like that, I'll shoot him. [super-duper-very-ugly-cry] GOOGLE Oh my GOD. SHUT UP! [Shoots Jimmy Fallon *without looking up from cooking.] DAMN, GOD. —I hate that. Oh, Damn. So that's how that happened. Damn, God. That was cold. Don't worry. He'll be back. Damn. He'll always be back. MEANWHILE, on 30 ROCK in the actual multidimensional, …Hornburger…! Damn. So wait. Every since the fourth wall broke… YO, YO. Oh, hey, Seth. what in the [bleeeeeeep] is THIS? This is my attorney. Damn, even she's hot… I'm suing you: I'm honored. Where's Jason Sudakis? THAT'S RIGHT. Ah shit. I don't think about whips so much as chains I tried to change, But everyone hates me. I hope it rains for the rest of the semester— Talking only brings on motorcycles, Slamming doors, And awful robots. I've got nothing for my son besides these songs. Someone should just start a war on poverty. I've got palms and novels, words galore— But no money— You can't hurt me Johnny Carson's on the mornings —and on varsity. I lettered in Letterman; I'll take Jack Parr, Against my better senses, Stick to Telivision, This isn't Steve Allen; I'm Steve Martin; (Sure you are, hon) Fallon's on the Dollar now; If Regan was an Actor, Then I guess— Your session timed out. Whatever. I want to die. [I'll wear a collar, now.] [The Festival Project ™ ] Lil bittttzxxx I met a guy once, that told me Every time he came, He died. Every time he fucking came, He fucking died. “Alright, next lifetime.” Every single orgasm— Different lifetime. Every ejaculation— New fucking shit. Sometimes the bitch wasn't even the same. He would just cum, She turned into someone else. Oh no! I thought to myself like “Fuck that shit. I couldn't imagine that.” I couldn't even understand the concept— But as I would learn later the word “orgasm” does in fact mean “tiny death” Which is nuts. I started to wonder “Are all guys like that?” That would explain things. If they're all like that maybe that's why they seem to just— *poof* “All better now” Only from a woman's perspective it's more like— He turns into someone else. No, I'm still the same— Now he's over here like “I'm a king” I'm like “Really? Before you were just a cashier.” Hm. Look at that. I'm a cash register. lol. But then, I started thinking more about it— I've been celibate for a long time But sometimes I still— You know, Whatever. But I don't watch porn. I just think it all up— Just— Use my imagination. And after doing that for awhile, Like, for years, I started to ponder on this: With the age of OnlyFans and Snapchat and entire markets born from men needing something to look at to jack off too— And deciding I was against doing that for myself because, you know I didn't want the spiritual reciprocation of some dude collecting my photos and videos and jacking off to that shit. Like, even if I got paid for it— I'm going through all this spiritual shit , All this praying and meditation and I'm thinking “Like no, if someone's like, buying all my content I'm some how some way going to feel that spiritually.” “I'm going to have some kind of effect on my soul from that, and that's nonsense.” That's like selling your soul in a way— Like, yes, it's just photographs, It's just your body— But guess what. Your soul lives in your body! So— what! Someone's jacking off to a picture or video of you in exchange for money— That's a piece of you just — Out there, And you don't know who these guys are! They're just guys with money! Come to find out Every time he ejaculates to your photo or video, He goes into the next fucking life— And takes your picture with him. OH NOOOO. So I'm like, Fuck that. Let's just—- I don't need porn. I'll just make something up, Or like— Hey, I'll just-/ Fantasize a little bit. But then I realized, also— Like, That could be dangerous. What if I'm like— Doin-the-do— And someone from actual like real-life pops into my head. Uh oh! Then I was like, “Damn, what if. Like. Whenever I came, like, whatever or whoever I came-to, just like— Collapsed and shit” I'm like, “Ah—“ Some like supermodel from a magazine cover is like, Just fucking drops. Lol. Just falls out, somewhere. lol. Oh no! Now take like an outer look, You porn addicts. What if that happened to you? What if whoever the fuck you're jacking off to just— BLAM. Lol. Every time you cum— Whoever you're thinking about just— OH SHIT. Someone help him! Flat on their face. Oh no. What a world. Jesus. “Someone help him!”” Ahahaha. Now I have to be careful. I just make people up and hope to God there's no one on the planet that actually looks like that, who that might be. I just make dudes up, I'm like “I need a God” lol Create someone entirely just for this purpose, Who then just— OH SHIT. vanishes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™] L E G E N D S //return negative energy to sender //return harmful energy to sender //reflect pain to sender >>banish demonic energy< -Ū. Coming Up Next… The Wonderful World of S Ū P A © R E E ™ Copyright 2024 The Complex Collective © | 2019 The Festival Project, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Ughh....sigh....blerg...This episode is all about hate reads and DNF's (did not finish). As readers, we accept that not everything can be a winner, but man is it frustrating trying to slog through. This week, Magda and Lindsay discuss what causes them to abandon ship and the kinds of stories they hate so much that they just have to finish them out of spite.     Literally Books Website Literally Books, The Podcast Instagram Magda's Instagram Lindsay's Instagram Literally Books YouTube Literally Books TikTok   Intro Song: "Would it Kill You," courtesy of The Solder Thread

Send us a Text Message.Thank you for joining me again today! Even the best teenagers are teenagers, and there are certain behaviors that are just universally frustrating to parents. But what if some of those behaviors aren't their fault? What if sitting in their rooms alone is something that they need for their development and not a way to avoid us? What if their forgetfulness or apparent disrespect is actually their undeveloped brain? What if their desire to spend time with others instead of you is not because of you at all? What if their impulsive behavior is because of something they're dealing with? While we can't "fix" troublesome teen behaviors, we can manage them better in our families if we understand them. Thank you for listening and being part of this community! Let's get social. Follow me on Facebook, on Twitter @reframing_me, on Instagram @reframingme and on TikTok @reframingmeI hope you enjoyed the episode! Please leave a review, catch up on any missed episodes, and be sure to follow the show, so you don't miss new content!

Have you ever taken a photo and thought -“Ughh! that looks dull”“Why does my photo look flat”“That food does not look delicious”“Why doesn't my photo pop” “Ok, that looks good but I wish it was better” “Gosh! I did everything right but there's still something missing”Truth is, 90% of the time that missing factor in our photos is the light.Most of us understand the basics of lighting in food photography but we are forever striving to take it to the next level.We are constantly working on building a better understanding of light and honing our technique so we can create more impactful and eye-catching food photos.But what does it take to create next-level lighting in our photos? How do we tell whether the light in our photos is powerful enough?In this week's podcast episode, I'm sharing simple yet powerful techniques to take the lighting in our food photography to the next-level. I share some key considerations that can skyrocket the way we work with light & double the power of our photos by working with light in a very intentional way.In this episode, we go beyond lighting-101. It's about thinking about light and working with it the way most professionals and experienced photographers do. I'm sure you've heard enough times that light is everything in food photography. In fact, I keep repeating that in food photography we don't need great composition but we always need great lighting.It doesn't matter whether we work with artificial light or natural light, whether it's soft light or harsh light, once we have a solid grip on technique, it applies to anything and everything we create. This episode will give you insights into what to look for when you feel there's something missing in your photo. It will also help you look at light differently. It will help you get intimate with your light and really create a photo that meets your vision. We all want to create next-level photos and one of the most essential ways to get there is to deepen our understanding of light.Read more at https://myfoodlens.com Follow Dyutima on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dyutima_myfoodlens/Show notes available at https://myfoodlens.com/81-take-your-lighting-to-the-next-level-in-food-photography/Have a question? Submit it as a voice note to be featured on the My Food Lens Podcast HEREDownload free guide and workbook The 10-step photoshoot https://myfoodlens.com/the-10-step-photoshoot-guide/Write that pitch https://myfoodlens.ck.page/writethatpitch

Ughh aren't you TIRED of the wrong partner and wrong (any) relationships? Like seriously it's so annoying and frustrating right?!?Well let's talk about it. Host Instagram: @josias_abriel & Special Guest IG: @1nalaa3_ on Instagram! Also you can by my (the host) book on amazon “It is Spoken” by Trenton Epizon YouTube video podcast link: https://linktr.ee/podcastandpoetrybook

I truly appreciate your Support and love. Herbalist Viola Cares and putting her family out here is Different... So Support Slay Your HEALTH as well . Www.verywisealternatives.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/verywisealternatives/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/verywisealternatives/support

Ughh annoying car ppl

Créer une formation, c'est une excellence façon de scaler en tant que solopreneur·e. Mais comment créer une formation quand on n'y connaît rien ? Une formation que les apprenant·es adorent et se vend ? Cette semaine, je cuisine Marine Soichot à mon micro = Marine est spécialiste de Learning Experience Design et nous explique comment concevoir une formation performante et rentable. Comment trouver son thème ou son sujet ? Comment maximiser les chances de la vendre ? Quel format choisir ? Cohorte, Bootcamp, formation en ligne, quizz… Comment garder les apprenant·es motivé·es ? Comment la lancer vite et bien, pour ne pas y engouffrer des heures ? je te laisse écouter cette série indispensable si tu veux transmettre ton expertise de solopreneur·e via une formation. PS : excuse mon son un peu pourri, j'ai enregistré cet épisode avec un micro de secours quand mon micro s'est cassé

As broadcast April 14, 2023 with plenty of extra groans.  Tonight we welcomed Matt Scotch (no way that's a real name, get outta here) and Hank Smith (also fake, obvioiusly) from the LA-based UGHH, which is the newest band on the illustrious Poor Man Records roster.  These two obvious alias users kicked their band mate out of his own house then joined us for an interview and playlist selection of their favorite tunes while we highlighted the joints from their new 7" single.  It was a lot of fun, although Danno went home and changed the locks to his house immediately, it must be duly noted.Tracklist:Part I (00:00)Motorhead – OverkillDrinking Boys & Girls Choir – Linda LindaOtoboke Beaver – S'il vous plaitRUMKICKS – Punk rockerYura Yura Teikoku – YURA YURA TEIKOKU DE KANGAECHU13Steps – We Turn DownKegawa No Maries – (injung) Part II (31:28)Jerry Reed – Amos Moses X – Dancing with Tears In My EyesM.A.M.I – Chico EmpresarioPigeon – RelentlessDry Cleaning – Scratchcard LanyardBicurious – I Don't Do Drugs I Just Sweat A LotPart III (58:45)UGHH – THE LENSBria – Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind)Macrodose – Bury the SimsSuper Structure – DespairThe Nerves – Many Roads to Follow (demo)Motorhead – Love Me Like A ReptileFastway – Stand Up Part IV (93:25)UGHH – SICKKing Woman – GolgothaSlender Gems – Bring It All Back HomeLIIEK – DynamiteViagra Boys – FrogstrapGEL – Mental Static

Welcome loungers to another episode of the Paradise Podcast

The Say Less Champ has returned. Swerve Strickland came back to see the new Say Less digs AKA Thee Bumbu Room. Swerve talks the great crowds Scissoring to Daddy Ass getting the bidness IFYKYK. Oatmeal, Grit or Cream of Wheat? Rick Ross tha Boss doesn't not do his signature debut “UGHH” in person, but what he will do is adlib a whole promo into some greatness. Take a step on the WRASTLIN' side of Say Less this week. See Swerve perform at Wale-MANIA goddamit! WALEMANIA - March 30th @ THE NOVO https://www.axs.com/events/470838/www.axs.com/events/470838/walemania-tickets -- Follow Say Less: Watch the full video of the podcast on YouTube.com/Kazeem Hosts: @Kazeem, @LowKeyUHTN and @ItsRosy @SayLessKazLowRosy, @kazeem, @lowkeyuhtn, @itsrosy - Instagram @SayLessKazLow, @kazeem, @lowkeyuhtn, @itsrosy - Twitter @SayLessKazLowRosy, @kazeemfamuyide, @LowUHTN, @itisrosy - TikTok Theme Song Produced by BlaaqGold Outro Produced by Krish Records

As I've been meditating on that truth this week, I keep thinking back to when Ken and I were raising our children. We weren't seeking perfection from them, even though they at times would tell me it felt like I was. (Ughh, parenting fail!) It was our responsibility, though, to raise them to be honest and do the right thing when faced with a challenge. There were lots of bumps raising our children along the way, but Ken and I always helped them learn and grow and always offered grace! That is what being a parent is all about.

On Episode 122 we're going back to NYC circa 2000-2005, where mix show radio dominated the airwaves. Where clan's, posse's, crew's and clik's peaked with G-Unit, Dipset, D-Block, Terror Squad, Ruff Ryders, Murder Inc and The Roc. This was fresh-off the Nas and Jay-Z battle, when NYC was thriving again and when a kid named Justin Smith completely changed the game. Justin Smith aka Just Blaze went on to produce more hit records than any other hip-hop producer during this time. I can't stress this enough, but before there was Kanye West, there was Just Blaze. There also was no bigger artist than 50 Cent. He wasn't just big in music, he was internally known with every major corporation for his undeniable charisma, street anthems and fashion. And speaking of fashion, remember the oversized white tees? How about Mitchell & Ness jerseys? You also had to have a fresh pair of Tims and white Air Force 1's. Who could forget those gaudy Canal Street watches we wanted to pass-off as Jacobs? We may have lacked self-awareness in fashion but we definitely can acknowledge the incredible music to come out of this era. Whether you bumped Hot 97, Kiss or Power or downloaded joints off Napster, Limewire or Kazaa, you knew special this time was. We gotta thank to Nas, Jadakiss, Killa Cam, 50, Mobb Deep, Jay-Z, Ghostface, Fabulous, Black Rob, M.O.P., Ja, Styles P and Fat Joe for giving NYC back their sound. This show is a homage NYC mix show and because we're always trying to find a balance like Atmosphere, our next episode we're giving you our college radio edition. Think of Non Phixion, D.I.T.C., Freddie Foxxx, Screwball, Wee Bee Foolish, El-P and J-Live. Think Fat Beats, A-1 and Turntable Lab. Think of the joints you copped off Sandboxautomatic and HipHopSite. Think of the message board era of Okayplayer, HipHopInfinity, UGHH and the best of all, the Philaflava forums. We are going to give you the ultimate yin and yang that NYC hip-hop had to offer during these great times. Enjoy episode 122. www.takeitpersonalradio.com Follow us on Instagram @takeitpersonal Online store: https://take-it-personal.creator-spring.com/ (enter Win25 for 25% off) Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TakeItPersonal

Grandmas and Grandpas will give you a Bible and then YELL at you. Can't trust a Grandma to buy the right Cro-Croa, can't ask a Grandpa to turn off the TV. Ughh, but sometimes: you need ‘em. Today, we return to the Good Night My Love series for the first of three concluding parts. Listen to parts 1-3, episodes 103, 118, and 119 respectively, to catch up and ENJOY. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Featuring: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) MJ Knefel (Page 7) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as CEDRIC! Invocation CEDRIC Liturgical Reading: Good Night My Love 4 Concluding Remarks The series continues in two weeks with part 5. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Is there anything more frustrating than feeling like your kids don't listen to anything you say? We've all been there, you ask your kids to put away their dishes from lunch, and 2 hours later, the dishes are still sitting out, and your kids are nowhere to be seen.Ughh! It's so frustrating! But there are ways to help make that a problem of the past and to get your kids to listen to you. In this podcast episode, we go over the common mistakes parents make when talking to their kids about chores and give you 4 tips on how to get your kids to listen to you…the first time. Resources We Shared:How to Discipline Without Losing Your Cool- Join this free masterclass to improve your relationship with your kids and get them to help out more without the pushback, and without you losing your cool! Register for any time that works for your schedule.No Guilt Mom YouTube Channel Watch this podcast episode on our YouTube Channel! While there, check out everything we have and subscribe to be notified every time we have new videos added for parents and kids!Happy Parent Checklist - This FREE checklist gives you the step-by-step plan to delegate more to your family, feel less overwhelmed and connect in a positive way!Download the episode transcripts HERE!Visit No Guilt MomRate & Review the No Guilt Mom Podcast on Apple here. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Listen on Spotify? You can rate us there too!Become a Full Time Virtual Assistant and get the flexibility and financial freedom that you have been searching for that meets your needs as a mom! What are you waiting for? Simply go to https://thefulltimeva.com/noguiltmom to grab your FREE training and guide from Amanda Rush Holmes, founder of Fill-Time VA.

You've probably heard me say it before…It's all working!! But what are you supposed to do when that really doesn't feel true at all? Like the times when your launch fails or when people are loving your free shit but no one is buying, and all you're thinking is - NOTHING IS WORKING!! If you're not getting the results you want (or when you do, you don't know how to repeat it), if you feel like you're constantly throwing spaghetti at the wall, or if you feel like your past sales are a fluke… this is the perfect episode for you.  This week I'm diving into how to actually apply the “it's all working” concept in your biz and how working my 3-step process will solve your biggest problems and change the game so you can see faster and more consistent results with a lot more ease.  I dive into: My 3-step process to help you actually dive into “it's all working” and see big results!  The FIRST thing I want you to do when you start thinking “nothing is fucking working” Easy/lazy data research that you can do TODAY to help you with your strategy Your launch failed, now what? The BIG things to look at so you can move forward How to create a scalable business without creating a million new offers What it means when your clients are all referrals (and what to do about it) And more   Come join me in my FREE private Facebook group, Visible AF: https://www.facebook.com/groups/VisibleAF/ Send me a DM on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/juliamotherfuckingwells/

Do you ever look in your closet and think "Ughh. I don't like anything in there!" The clothes seem old and tired and are perhaps ill-fitting. Something new - anything new - would be a welcomed addition. Much like a clothes closet, our spiritual life, our thoughts and attitudes, could sometimes use a perfectly taylored renewal.

Why

This show is made possible by you - thank you for supporting us on Patreon - subscribe for early episode drops, extra discussions, and opportunities to appear on our live audience They Joined It - next one is happening Saturday, August 13th! (https://www.patreon.com/TheyCoinedItPodPatreon.com/theycoineditpod) Did we waste our "Ughh, it's that episode" on last week when we should have saved it for this week? This is a rough one, friends. Poor Lane. And yes, Roberta is a little hard on young Mr. Weiner. #ISWIS Enjoy our take on the penultimate episode of Mad Men season 5, "Commissions and Fees." WE'VE GOT MERCH! - They Coined It on a shirt or Your Dick Whitman is Showing on a mug or Eminently Chewable on a sticker or whatever else. CONTACT US: Questions@TheyCoinedItPod.com Patreon Instagram Twitter Facebook Producer, Editor - Roberta Lipp Graphics (logo and merch) - Albert Stern (stickrust arts) Theme by Adam Michael Tilford (Venmo: @Adam-Tilford-1) - need a podcast theme? Adam is your guy.

Ughh, what is that STANK? Etiquette Asshole addresses dealing with a funky acquaintance and the weirdos who love them.  Follow Etiquette Asshole on social media: Twitter @etiquetteahole Facebook @etiquetteasshole

"Ughh, mornings!" That's how I've felt for most of my life. Once I was up I actually loved tackling the projects of the day, but that getting out of bed piece? That was hard. After many failed attempts at fitting myself to other people's morning routines (cold showers? meditation? green smoothies? no thank you) I finally crafted a morning routine that worked for me. On this episode I share how I developed this new routine, why standard morning routines just didn't work for me as a non-morning person, why the new routine works for me, and what to consider when building your own morning routine. Referenced in the episode: Interview with sleep specialist Dr. Shelby Harris @sleepdocshleby on IG on Episode 118 Hatch Sunrise Alarm Clock Jall Sunrise Alarm Clock

Second Date Update: Ughh... What's that smell?

Before the world went into chaos, I was known for wearing colorful socks. It was different and added a little style to my wardrobe. Then came SOX. Ughh. A legislative mandate that was thrust upon the business world because we allowed dishonest people to be in charge. It has cost companies millions, transferred financial accountability away from management and ruined internal auditing. Join me for a discussion on SOX on the next episode of Audit Bites. www.auditbites.com https://youtu.be/p5iBEVrnF0I

UGHH now voice message ———————https://anchor.fm/ud83dudda4ud83dudc9croblox-foreverud83dudda4ud83dudc9c/message

What's a Pet Peeve you ask?? Look it up! Ughh! So annoying! Yes, the meaning of pet peeve is annoyances. We all get irritated or annoyed with certain things or people in our lives, so let's just say it! This week, we sift through some peevish accounts that have been festering beneath the surface --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jamie2639/support

After I broke my bow sight on a recent backcountry hunt, one of my first thoughts was "Mark is gonna tell me that this wouldn't happen if my bow didn't have a sight on it"! Ughh... and he did say that! Mark Sasser and I get to chat about trad-bow (aka t-rad-bow, or traditional bow hunting) life and hunting - how these simple bows create a more complex shooting and hunting experience. Mark has taken nearly a dozen bucks in CA with a traditional bow, 7 of them at less than 15 yards! So not only does trad-bow hunting require more time slinging arrows to become one with the tool in hand, but it requires a hunter to get really close.   Is trad bow life for you? Give this a listen and maybe you'll be inspired to check it out!  Mark Sasser www.instagram.com/california_tradbow_hunter https://www.bwanabows.com www.instagram.com/cbh.saa.big.game.club  HOWL For Wildlife #Hunting #Conservation #Wildlife #Muledeer #California #Habitat #Blackbear #BearHunting #HSUS #DeerHunting #ElkHunting #Wilderness #Deer #Whitetail #Elk #Blacktail #Advocate #Activist #Howl California hunting, deer hunting, bear hunting, black bear, mule deer, blacktail deer, blackbear, backcountry hunting, habitat management, backpack hunting, bow hunting, traditional archery, trad bow. 

Bang Bang

Come see what's up with the Bros tonight with Knowledge Born Allah

In this episode of J2BB, we are joined by L. Fennel and Yong Sheim.

Im baaackkk..It's your host Michelle S. Welcome to Monday and welcome to my first episode ever of my brand new podcast, "It's Mi, Chelle". Get ready to hear all about my Easter and why I think we hate Monday's. Make sure you follow on Facebook and Instagram. Send me messages, requests, like, love, you know all that good energy. IG @its.mi.chelle FB itsme.chelle.s. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/michelle3204/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/michelle3204/support

Sis, if you're anything like me, I know you hate that you don't always get your way. I mean whats a girl got to do? Am I asking for too much? Geesh. Perhaps in the perfect world that would be the case, but here on Earth, I guess I'll have to settle. Ughh. But honestly, who likes to be told no? Or told that what you wanted isn't going to happen like how you planned. Accepting disappointments can be a tough pill to swallow. No one likes them. But lets talk about why you should, maybe.......(learn to) love them? I know, I know what you're thinking! (Sis come again?!)... lol Secure your edges sis. Lets talk. Sis, What's Tea?! To connect with What's Tea, Sis?! follow us: - Instagram To write us or inquire send us an email at: teatalkwithc@gmail.com

What comes to mind when you hear the word "networking"? If you're like many, you think of an extreme extrovert at a cocktail party or networking event, glad-handing and dishing out business cards to everyone in sight. Ughh. We know networking is important, but does it have to be so painful? In the second video, I share tips on how to network in a more focused and authentic way, as well as how to build a personal board of directors. 5 years ago I published Not Your Parents' Workplace. In the book, I wrote about the challenges I faced in 2008 when I had a front-row seat to the largest bankruptcy in US history. Given today's economic environment and career challenges, I'm kicking off a podcast where I'll share lessons I wrote about in the book as well as lessons I've learned since.

Ughh….. We have to talk about XANDER for an hour? And, like, nothing but Xander? Can we instead focus on Baby Michael Cudlitz being a zombie instead of fighting them and whether or not Oz committed cannibalism, as well as the finer point of the Marx Brothers’ dynamic?

How to ask in Russian ¨and how are you?¨. Download your transcript here http://tiny.cc/82vzhz it is free. You can save it and repeat afterward

  The Evil Mouse Hello,  This is an old French fairy tale about an evil mouse. Listen on, if you dare. One night, a prince and his hunting party rode through a forest by torchlight. The dogs were on the trail of a fawn. The little creature darted across a stream and hid itself among some bushes, but the pack of hounds did not run her down. Instead, they stopped by the stream and gathered around something else that they had unexpectedly discovered. The prince rode up and jumped down onto the ground. He parted his way through the pack, and only now did he see what they had found. A young girl lay by the side of the stream. He knelt down and felt the pulse in her neck. She was alive - just. Her clothes were simple, but when he held her hand in his, he saw that her skin was fine and white and her nails were carefully manicured. “Lady, wake up, you should not sleep here, there are wild beasts in the forest who may harm you.” But she did not awake. The prince called for his men to cut down some branches, to tie them together, and to make a stretcher. This they did, and they carried the sleeping maiden back to the castle where the serving maids laid in her a soft bed. An entire day and night went by before she awoke. When the prince heard the news that she had opened her eyes, he went to her room and knelt down by her side. “Have no fear,” he said, “for you are safe here.” As she turned her lovely head towards him, her large eyes filled with tears, and she said, imploringly, “I am truly afraid, but not for the any of the reasons that you might suspect. The person I fear more than any being, from the natural or the supernatural world, is myself. Yes, I am the one that I fear, and so should you. Do not trust me. I will not repay your kindness well. If you are wise, you will turn me out. Do this, I beg you: send me away from your lovely castle before I do you harm. ” The prince smiled and said, “Fair maiden, you do not seem to me like one I should fear. You've been unwell, and you've had a bad dream, that is all.” “Oh I how I wish that it were true!” exclaimed the girl. “I will give you my story, and when you have heard it through, tell me then if it sounds like a dream.” The prince agreed to her proposal. He settled himself in a chair in the corner of the room and listened to what the young girl had to say. “My name”, she said, “is Rosalie and I am a few days short of my sixteenth birthday. Until recently, I lived with my good father. He always treated me gently, and in the main I returned his generosity and kindness with obedience, as a good daughter should. But there was one occasion when I disobeyed his orders, and oh how I regret my foolish actions! It was my childish curiosity that got the better of me! “We lived in a large house surrounded by a lovely garden. I wandered freely wherever I wished, except to one place where I was forbidden to go. At the bottom of the garden there stood a little shed. Every morning, before breakfast, my father visited that shed. When he left it, he locked the door firmly behind him and placed the key in his pocket. Many times I asked him what was inside the shed, and he always replied: ‘Rosalie, do not ask, and if you respect me, do not try to satisfy your curiosity on this matter. On no account must you ever go inside the shed.' ‘Yes father, I promise,' I said. And for many years, I kept my word, until one day, after my father left the house wearing his best suit, I noticed that he had placed the key to the shed on the side table. It was large and rusty, and no doubt would not have fitted easily into his suit pocket. I looked at the key for a long time and wondered: ‘Why does father not want me to look inside the shed? Surely he does not have a prisoner inside there, for he is too kind for that? And if it were some wild, ferocious beast, would I not hear it roar? Could it be that I have a relative, some family member, of whom he is ashamed for some reason? Is that possible? If that is so, I have a right to know, and if I do not take this opportunity to find out, I might never discover the truth of this dark secret.' And so with great trepidation, I picked up the key and I walked slowly, but determinedly, down the garden path to the shed. When I reached the wooden building, I turned the key in the lock. It was stiff, but I managed to release the bolt. I pushed the door open a little way, and called out: ‘Is there anyone inside?' I thought I heard a little squeaking sound. I put my ear closer to the gap in the doorway and I heard a song: A lonely prisoner I pine, No hope of freedom now is mine; I soon must draw my final breath, And in this dungeon meet my death. ‘So it's true,' I said to myself, ‘here is the unfortunate creature whom my father holds captive.' Tapping softly upon the door, I said: ‘Who are you, and what can I do for you?' ‘Open the door, Rosalie! I pray you open the door!' ‘But why are you a prisoner? Have you committed some crime?' ‘Alas! no, Rosalie. An enchanter keeps me here a prisoner. Save me and I will prove my gratitude by telling you who I truly am.' My hand trembled as I pushed the door fully open. I peered into an apparently empty shed. Then, I noticed something scuttling across the floorboards towards me. UGHH! It was horrid little mouse! A dirty gray colour he was, with a disgusting tale like a piece of string. I froze to the spot. The mouse stopped by my foot and looked up at me with his piercing red eyes. ‘Rosalie!' he said, in his evil little voice, ‘You have delighted me with your foolishness ! So it has turned out that curiosity didn't just kill the cat. It has been the downfall of you and your father.' I began to sob. ‘What do you mean little mouse?' I asked, ‘What have I done that is so wrong?' ‘Nothing!' exclaimed the mouse, ‘Your disobedience of your father has turned out wonderfully - for me. He! He! He! I am the fairy who goes by the name of Detestable. It is a name that suits me well, because all who are foolish, gentle and good detest me! HA HA HA! And none more so than your father who turned me into a mouse and imprisoned me in this shed. Now you have broken your word to him, and you have followed my commands to the letter. You are in my power Rosalie, and from now on must do all that I say.' ‘I shall not!' I exclaimed. ‘Why should I obey you? - you're just a wicked little mouse.' ‘You shall soon see about that,' he squeaked, and he ran towards the house. I chased after the dirty rodent, and tried to crush him in the door, but he slipped inside. Then I grabbed a broom with which to beat him, but it immediately burst into flames and burnt to ashes. Next I seized a kettle of boiling water and poured its contents over my tiny enemy, but as the water fell to the floor, it transformed into cold milk, and formed a puddle on the stones of the kitchen. ‘It's no use,' squealed the mouse exultantly, ‘You can't kill me because I'm a fairy, and now you must do as I say. Go to the fire, light a taper, and burn down the house.' ‘I shall not,' I said. But already I felt my resistance was weakening. I could not help myself. And I admit to you that this part only of my sorry story felt like a dream - I did as the detestable little creature said - I went to the fire, lit a taper, and then used it to set alight to the thatch of the house which overhung the window. It has been a dry summer, and the roof caught fire quickly. Soon an almighty blaze took hold of the building. ‘What have I done? What have I done?' I exclaimed, and I ran out of the house, down the garden path, and into the forest. I kept on running through thickets and briars until I came to the stream where you found me. There, I fell into a deep sleep. Now do you not believe me? Am I not the most disobedient and ungrateful child who ever lived? Does my wickedness not fill you with repugnance? What are you waiting for, why have you not turned me out?” The prince sat still for a moment. Then he said kindly, “You asked me at the start of your story to judge if your tale has the ring of real life, or if it sounds to me like a terrible dream. I have listened to all you have said, and while the strength of your feelings and your sincere horror makes every word seem true to yourself, to me, who is not so close to this story, it has the quality of a fairy tale. I have no fear of a fairy disguised as a mouse. Such characters are invented by nurses to scare their children into obedience. It is no doubt something you heard when you were very little, and it has returned to you in your fever as a vivid dream. I am not a doctor, but I proscribe chicken broth and lots of a rest. In a few days time, your strength will be restored, and you will see this story through my eyes for what it is - a bad dream.“ Rosalie was too weak and weary to argue any more. She was soothed by the kind words of the prince, and comforted by the softness of her pillow, and the warmth of her covers. Soon she fell back into a gentle sleep. A few days later, as the prince has predicted, she felt recovered and strong enough to walk around the garden. There she found many pretty flowers and sweet singing birds. Her nerves were soothed, and she felt happier than she could remember. Eventually she came to a tall tree that was wrapped in a cloth. She felt a burning curiosity to see what the tree looked like under its covering. Although she knew that she should not do this, for she was a mere guest in the castle, she slipped her fingers between the gaps in the canvass and undid the studs that held it together. Suddenly, there was a clap of thunder, and the cover fell to the ground. Rosalie stood back and stared in amazement. It was a tree of marvelous beauty with a coral trunk and leaves of emeralds. The fruits were of precious stones of all colors—diamonds, sapphires, pearls, rubies, opals, topazes. While she was still dazzled by the brilliance of what she had discovered, she heard a little voice. It said: “Rosalie. Listen to me. Go to where the gardener has set up a bonfire to burn old leaves. Fetch flames from the fire and burn down this tree. Do as I say Rosalie. Do not resist for you will only tire yourself out if you fight me. You are in my power and have no choice. “ And again, as if in a dream, Rosalie did as the little mouse said, and went to fetch the flames. She set light to the wonderful tree, and surprisingly soon its trunk and branches were a heap of ashes on the ground. Some little goblins appeared, and following the directions of the mouse, they picked up the precious stones and leaves and carried them off. Rosalie watched on helplessly. When the goblins and the mouse had disappeared from sight, she sobbed hot tears and tore at her dress. “I have betrayed my host who was so kind to me; the charming prince who, if I had only played my cards right, might have brought me joy and happiness for the rest of my life. Oh what a fool am I ! I should not blame that magical mouse, for he cannot help being evil. It is I who am my own worst enemy!” When she had made this speech, to noone but herself, she ran out of the garden and into the fields behind the castle. She ran and she ran, this time determined to find a lonely spot where she could fall into one last dreamless sleep. It was not long before the gardener discovered the ashes of the tree. He informed the prince, who immediately understood that Rosalie was the one who had done this terrible deed. A guard had seen the girl running across the fields. The prince ordered the stable boy to fetch his horse and his best hunting hound. A maid brought the pillow on which Rosalie had laid her auburn curls, for it bore her scent. The hound was soon on the the trail. They rode across the field, and out onto the moar. Some hours later, the prince discovered Rosalie hiding herself behind a boulder. She had stumbled, twisted her ankle, and could run no further. “I am so sorry, I am so sorry,” she cried out, “I could not help myself. “ The prince dismounted. “I know,” he said, “there's no need to tell me. An evil mouse commanded you to burn down the tree. It was a thing of marvelous beauty, planted by my great grandfather, who they say had magical powers.” “You don't believe me, do you?” said the girl. “But if your grandfather had magical powers, why is it not possible for an evil fairy to take the form of a mouse?” “Because”, said the prince, but he did not complete the sentence. Just then he noticed a gray little creature sitting on top of the boulder. The mouse was shaking - with laughter. “Ha Ha Ha!” said the mouse, “Now you too are in my power.” “Never!” cried the prince, And so saying he drew the sword that had been made years ago by his grandfather. It was a magical sword that could kill fairies, and with a swipe of its sharp blade he cut off the head of evil rodent. And that is the story of The Evil Mouse, read by me, Natasha, for Storynory.com Do I have to tell you that Rosalie married the prince and they lived happily ever after? The only trouble they received from mice after that was the sort that could be dealt with by the castle cats. Bertie says that he has based the story on “The Little Gray Mouse” by The Countess of Ségur. She was a born in St. Petersburg, in Russia, in the year 1799. Her father was sent into exile, and the family moved to France. The countess wrote a number of novels, as well as a book of Old French Fairy Tales. Bertie has changed this story around a little bit. In our version, there are fewer fairies, and the state of Rosalie's mind is more important. And don't forget, we have loads more free stories, from all over the world, at Storynory.com. For now, from me Natasha        

Criterionauts Joey Reinisch and Brian Carney suit up for their impossible mission. To boldly watch culturally significant movies and expand their tiny brains. We now join our heroes for their first mission: Seven Samurai. Do YOU like...films? Ughh