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Laughter is contagious too so... let's do this! Hey I've missed you! Let's chat and catch up! I'll tell you how I'm doing amid the apocalypse as I drive on the freeways during the lock-down "shelter-in-place" mandate that has gone into effect! I went on a crazy mission. Join me. Do you know I forgot it's St. Patrick's Day? It's more like St. Virus's day...shit... These are the clouds I saw on the drive that weirded me out:

What if you could feel truly appreciated and deeply satisfied every single day? What if you could experience a more joyful, appreciative and considerate workplace and it only costs you seven minutes of a day? In an earlier podcast I shared about the seven most important minutes of your day. Well, here's another hack for your Joyous delight and satisfaction that could be an additional 7 minutes, or instead. It's up to you just how much joy you want in your life. Well you can. Encourage I'm going to take a wild guess here that your work and your life has become more demanding. Furthermore, I can be pretty certain that you feel under-valued. I'll even dare to suggest that your pay is not the main issue in feeling under-valued, rather it's because it seems that no-one truly appreciates the value you deliver. Something deep inside our pysche screams out to be appreciated. When we're not appreciated, then our satisfaction with life, with our job, with ourselves, is diminished. You might have quit a job to take another with more salary in the belief that you would feel better. And for a while, that might have worked well enough. But after the honeymoon was over and the realities of everyday started to take their toll, even the extra money began to seem insufficient. The offer of a higher salary felt good because it aroused your anticipation of pleasure (increased dopamine in your brain making the offer attractive). But dopamine is short-lived in making us feel good - so we seek another dose, then another and another and then some more (not necessarily a good thing!). Sadly, the extra cash doesn't (ever) deliver the anticipated long-term happiness. What we're really after is some oxytocin and a dose of serotonin - we want to feel loved (or at least a sense of belonging to a trusted tribe) from the oxytocin and a sense of delighted satisfaction with the serotonin. And what better way to feel valued than someone else to appreciate you for your contribution? You feel more loved (appreciated) thanks to the oxytocin, and you'll feel more satisfied thanks to the serotonin produced when you are appreciated by someone else. So how do you get your boss, colleague, staff, partner, kids, parents, customer to appreciate you for well, anything at all? You could be giving the very best possible service, providing the very best of you and yet still it seems to go unnoticed. You could yell and scream and beg them to appreciate you. Throw a hissy fit and stomp off telling them that they don't deserve you. You could just suck it up and think that life is like that and people are unappreciative. You could try and stop being so wonderful and find out of they even notice. Or you could try something radical that actually works. Develop So, you've tried one or more of the tactics everyone uses at some point in their life to get the appreciation you so richly deserve to no avail. Or was it? It is possible that they did try to show you their appreciation. They just used the wrong language. And by language, I mean your language of appreciation. Dr Gary Chapman and Paul E. White wrote a wonderful book called the "5 Love Languages" that has impacted millions worldwide with their love and marriages. And they've written a version for work (because it seems that "love" is a bit too squishy and personal for the workplace) called the "5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace" on how to effectively communicate appreciation at work using the 5 languages that matter to people. Essentially, each of us feels appreciated in different ways. That is, we have different "languages of appreciation". Typically, we will use the language of appreciation that matters to ourself. If you have a different language of appreciation, my appreciation of you goes unnoticed. It's as if I am speaking perfect French and you only understand Chinese. Most, if not all that I speak will just be non-sense to you. Similarly, you speaking Chinese will make no sense to me. The five languages of appreciation are: Words of Affirmation - using words to communicate a positive message e.g. praise for accomplishments, speaking or writing to affirm someone's character. (Writing a note of appreciation (by hand!) is powerful. Heck, sending a real, physical birthday card would be fantastic these days.) Quality Time - giving someone undivided time and attention e.g. having a quality conversation with someone, shared experiences (retreats) or small group dialogues. Acts of Service - pitching in to help and get things done (though always ask first in case your service is unwanted!) e.g. helping someone carry resources into a meeting room, arranging food for the team when they are working late on a project. Tangible Gifts - offering thoughtful, non-monetary gifts e.g. tickets to a concert, a special treat from another country you just visited (not from the airport store though!) Physical Touch - using encouraging touch in appropriate ways - perhaps less valued in the workplace and certainly very sensitive form of appreciation but can still be relevant e.g. shaking hands, high fives. Take a moment to reflect and identify your primary and secondary languages of appreciation. Like most people, you'll "speak"all five languages, but two will likely resonate the most with you. If you're stuck, ask your life partner or best friend. Also, identify the one that is least important to you. this one will be pretty meaningless to you when given. My own least important language is physical touch - just doesn't do it for me in the work environment, I'd much rather someone wrote me a note or pass over a bottle of nice whisky they grabbed at the duty-free (and please do take these at hints!) When someone writes me an email to tell me they liked something I wrote or that they enjoyed the workshop - I am on cloud 9. Pass me a bottle of decent Chianti and I feel really appreciated. How about you? What makes you feel best appreciated? You can also take an assessment to find out at the appreciationatwork.com website. I'm not affiliated by the way, just sharing - it's a small act of service :-) Beware your bias! Because I like words of affirmation and tangible gifts I might assume that this is true for everyone. And because I am not a great fan of physical touch to show appreciation, again, I might assume that this is true for you. I could be wrong. We often find in the workplace, that someone who feels greatly under-appreciated by their boss has primary and secondary languages not shared with the boss. For example, one client I worked with recently wants to "hear" their boss appreciate them in public. Their boss is a quality time and gifts person, and shows her appreciation through spending time with people and giving them little trinkets from her travels. Works very well for some, but not this particular client - he doesn't even notice and was convinced that his boss never ever showed him any appreciation. How to get people to appreciate you You may well be thinking by now that "this is all well and good, but how does me knowing this get other people to appreciate me?" When I was first starting out in my career do my job. It seems that I was mistaken about that. So, all I had to do was something beyond my job. It seems I was also wrong about that. Eventually I came to the conclusion that, in order to be appreciated, I just had to go out of my way to be especially awesome and incredibly helpful to my boss and then he would appreciate me. Erm... also wrong. Unless you have been especially blessed with a particularly unusual creature as your boss, that you have discovered the same to be true. And it is also not a case that they are really appreciating you but with a different language, then you knowing this does not, of itself, get you appreciated. But we can, as I mentioned earlier, do something truly radical that will simulate appreciation and you will feel fantastically awesome. And that's what we're going to learn next. Guide Remember I shared with you about oxytocin making you feel loved, trusted and appreciated? Remember that serotonin helps you feel a sense of delighted satisfaction. And that feeling of euphoric happiness is down to a dose of dopamine. Well, those three chemicals are triggered when we are appreciated (in our preferred language.) What neuroscience also tells us is that these three chemicals are similarly triggered when we appreciate others. That is, giving appreciation to others makes you feel loved, trusted and appreciated. Giving others appreciation makes you feel a sense of delighted satisfaction. And appreciating others deliberately as a regular behavioural goal gives us a feeling of euphoric happiness. You can't make others appreciate you but you sure can appreciate others and you get the benefit. Of course, they get the benefit of being appreciated too so this is actually even more powerful than simply being appreciated by someone else. Yes. You give them appreciation and you get the benefit too. Mind blowing huh? Don't believe me? Is it worth just 7 minutes of your day, each day for just one week? If this is true, John, then surely everyone would be doing this! I appreciate others and they get the benefit and I get the benefit too! Yes, you get to give others appreciation to selfishly make yourself feel great joy and satisfaction. The trouble is that most people seem to be wired to remain miserable, dissatisfied and are waiting cynically expectant that someone, anyone, will one day notice them and appreciate them. And since nobody does that, they're determined not to do so for anyone else and make the first move because, lets face it, they don't deserve it. Which I say is a terrific starting point because you ain't doing it for them. You're doing it for you. That they happen to benefit merely makes the world a tad better place. Wow, imagine if everyone caught this selfish appreciation bug and everyone was appreciative of everyone else. What a sickly happy world of joyous people it would be. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. If you would like to take the challenge and prove to yourself that giving just ONE person appreciation for something real in their preferred language each day for just ONE week will lift your own feelings of satisfaction, trust, appreciation and happiness then give me just 7 minutes of each day for this next week and I guarantee joyous results for you. Here's what you'll be doing: Make a list of seven people randomly chosen from your work, after-work and home environments. Identify for each person, their preferred languages. Observe or recall ONE specific real thing that you can genuinely appreciate about them. Add notes to your list. Share your appreciation with them in their preferred language. Add this to your list. Tick off their name from your list. Hey I've even created a simple list template that you can use here: Random Acts of Appreciation Template.pdf Empower Start by making a list. Choose ONE person at random from your work or non-work or home life - someone who you see or work with on a regular basis. And write their name on your list. Now, identify for that person, their preferred language. You can do so by observing them informally in three areas: Behaviours Three quarters of people express appreciation in the way that they themselves would like to be appreciated. By observing your target individual's behaviour (e.g. do they praise others, or the meal they enjoyed. Do they buy gifts, put a hand on someone's shoulder as affirmation, or offer to help), you can guess their likely primary appreciation language. Requests of others Observe how they make requests to others (e..g do they invite others to their place for dinner, request help with projects, take time to ensure that they understand you) as these give clues about what matters to them. Complaints We tend to complain about what hurts us most (e.g. "my boss has no time to discuss anything", "no one notices what I do", "no one tells me anything good") Write your guess for their most likely language on your list beside their name. Next, observe or recall just ONE SPECIFIC behaviour, activity, task, thing that they have done that you GENUINELY can appreciate. It does not have to be mega-fantastic. It can be incredibly mundane, but it is something that you can genuinely appreciate. It could be the way they closed a deal, or how they just greeted a co-worker, or the structure of a report, or that they made good eye contact with everyone when making that last presentation. Add a note of this specific thing to your list now. It is now time to turn the world upside down and inside out. Not get appreciation, but GIVE it. Choose a suitable moment today and share your appreciation for that thing they did in their preferred language. Write an affirming note on a post it and stick it on their computer screen, use words of affirmation or offer to (and follow through) help them with something, arrange time to sit down and chat (and by that I mean ask and listen), get and give them something tangible that they would like and give it to them or maybe give them a high five - all while telling them why you appreciate them. Tick their name off your list. It's completely selfish because giving appreciation randomly to others will make you feel better - you'll generate dopamine (target), serotonin (pride) oxytocin (giving love). Identify them, observe them and offer genuine, specific appreciation for ONE thing in their language. ONE person each day for ONE week, for ONE thing. That's it. Should I do this to my boss? Sure, why not - I'll bet they could use a lift too. Partner? For certain. In ONE week, tell me (an email would be terrific) how awesome you feel. If you've never done this before, those individuals may well begin regarding you with suspicion about your intention, state of mind and may even ask if you have a life-threatening condition. Don't fret about that, once you've experienced the personal benefits to your own joy, health and wellbeing, you'll be keeping this going and maybe you'll share your secret with others and they too can selfishly be more joyous and satisfied whilst appreciating others and making them feel appreciated and satisfied. Good grief, imagine a world where everyone was appreciative of others - how weird would that be?

Hey I've been MIA and I miss you guys...so let my chit chat bless us and yours. Talk to you soon

Recorded June 21, 2019 See Peter at the Las Vegas Freedom Fest - July 17-20 https://www.freedomfest.com/ Save $50 using code SCHIFF S&P Record High: Why? U.S. stock market averages finished an up week on a down note. In fact, the S&P 500, before closing negative on the day made a new all-time record high. The S&P is the only major index that did make a new record high this week, in fact Donald Trump tweeted about the record high in the S&P twice yesterday.  As soon as the market gapped open at a record high, Donald Trump tweeted out a reminder that the S&P opened at a record high, and then when it closed at a record high, he sent out a second tweet to remind everybody that the stock market closed at a record high. Fed's Lower Rates Behind Stock Market Highs The idea is that he's taking credit for it.  The stock market is doing so well because Donald Trump is President, and if anybody else were President, the market would be collapsing. That's the impression that Donald Trump is trying to convey. But, of course, the reality is the opposite. The reason the market made a new high is because investors are relieved that the Fed is going to cut interest rates. So, it's lower interest rates that is behind the record high in the S&P - not anything Donald Trump has done. Low Interest Rates Needed to Bail out Economy Now, Donald Trump is saying, "Hey I've been telling the Fed to cut rates!".  So maybe he can claim credit for the fact that the Fed is cutting rates because he beat them up so much, but that's really not what he is trying to claim. He's trying to claim that the rising stock market is indicative of how great the economy is under his presidency. But, it's not because the economy is great that the Fed is cutting rates, it's because it's lousy! Heading for Recession The Fed is cutting rates because the economy is headed for recession.  So if that's the only reason the stock market is going up, that the economy is so bad that the Federal Reserve has to abort their rate-tightening campaign, and they have to come to an emergency rescue mission, they have to try to bail out the economy with rate cuts, is that really something that Donald Trump should be bragging about?

For International World Cultural Diversity Day, I was joined by many members of our EMEA team to share their experiences with culture clash. At Braze, we hope that sharing our stories will promote understanding and curiosity of cultures less familiar to us. The team wraps things up with a few tips when traveling through various countries.       TRANSCRIPT: PJ Bruno: My mom told me I was special as a kid and unlike anyone else. And I hope someone told you the same, because you are. Your unique in every way. And yet we're all the same. We're literally made of all the same stuff. But one of the things humans do best is trying to make sense of the world around them by identifying, and labeling, and comparing. And it's a thin line between taking into account someone's background to accommodate for cultural differences and making a sweeping generalization about a person based on their accent or appearance. It can be a polarizing topic to discuss where the world is going and if it's in our best interest collectively. While there is always more work to be done, we can at least recognize the boom of diversity and inclusion initiatives in the work place. Today we'll hear from our own people at Braze about their experience with diversity and the times they felt a rift between them and someone from another place. I started making my first European friends in my teens, and I didn't quite understand the kiss on the cheek greeting. Am I supposed to do it with people I just met? Do I do it with other boys too? How many kisses? Do I kiss teachers too?   [0:01:11] Speaker 2: So the kisses on the cheek thing is actually a really funny one for me because in Switzerland people give three kisses. In Germany, they often give two or they don't give any. And in the U.K. I found that sometimes people don't like to give kisses or they give one or they give two.   [0:01:27] Speaker 3: Well I'm quite posh, as you can probably tell from my accent. And Posh people kiss on two cheeks as well. But not everyone in the U.K. Does and I find there's a bit of a north south divide. So my fiance is Northern, and all his family and friends kiss on one cheek, but I kiss on two cheeks. And then we face this awkwardness every time I see them, because I want to be considerate of how they greet people, but they are being considerate of how I greet people. So then we end up in this scenario where I go for one and they go for two. So I actually just have abandoned kissing at all and I just hug everyone and I find it works. Hugging is the way forward.   [0:02:10] Speaker 4: I'm Swedish. And you know in Sweden we don't really kiss. People are kind of afraid of one another. I'm not sure, people might have seen there is this image floating around the internet where Swedes are waiting at the bus stop for one another and they basically stood two meters apart from each other. So I think the whole kissing on the cheek thing, that's not really common in Sweden. Personally, I'm a hugger, so you know people get a little bit like "Oh, whose this guy" when I approach them.   [0:02:42] Speaker 5: I mean coming from Brazil and having this affectionate culture obviously my first instincts is like I'm gonna hug you and I'm gonna kiss you. And usually it is a two kiss. So one on each side of the cheek. Depending on who it is. So if it is someone very close to me I might go for full on kiss on the cheek rather than just putting side to side faces.   [0:03:06] PJ Bruno: We're lucky enough to have a collection of cultures at Braze.   [0:03:09] Speaker 6: I'm half Irish and half Italian.   [0:03:12] Speaker 7: I feel British I am British, but yet I'm of Indian heritage.   [0:03:17] Speaker 4: Being from Sweden.   [0:03:19] Speaker 8: Being a German when I move to Mexico.   [0:03:22] Speaker 9: Growing up in Scotland.   [0:03:23] PJ Bruno: Everyone of them with a different understanding and expectation of the social code that mediates all human interactions. The fact is most of us mean well and want to have positive connections with one another but sometimes our intentions don't get through. They can be obscured, different cultures have different expectations of professional behavior and if you're not careful you could find yourself offending someone unintentionally. I got the opportunity to talk to some member of our London team to hear about their experiences with culture clash. Our hope is to dig into some of these stories to provide some more understanding, and hopefully more understanding makes for better connections.   [0:04:02] Speaker 3: I think that the biggest learning curve I've had at Braze is working with different cultures, when I work with the sales team and they hand an account over to me, it's like one of the first things that we'll talk about is what kind of culture are they, because in APAC, if I'm working with someone who's based in Singapore or they might be based in Thailand or if they're based in Israel you know the Middle East they're all going to be so different to work with. For example, typically in Asian cultures they're very polite and won't speak up in a room. So I've had with some clients a hesitation to even introduce themselves in a room, it's been interesting because we're up in the office there. I've been getting some tips from the team about how to work with customers there and one of the tips that Sam - who's an account manager out there- gave me was that Asian culture love to talk about food and it's very central to their culture. So apparently if I'm struggling to get clients talking I should try and talk about food, like "Hey I've heard that the food scene's amazing in Singapore, where do you get the best chicken satay?", because that's like a big dish out there, and so probably that's a good tip. I guess when I'm working with Israeli's I've found it a bit of a culture shock because they're very direct and in British culture directness can sometimes be a sign of rudeness, but for them that's just the way that they work and they want to get stuff done, so I think there's an element of me understanding their approach to business and not being offended by it.   [0:05:33] Speaker 7: I think diversity inclusion is a big buzzword, if I look back I've been in sales twenty years, I know I don't look it, but it's true. And if I just look back at my last company there was a lot of older men and I think in sales, when you don't have a diverse range of people then the thinking can be one way. You know we've moved on from selling the way we used to sell, on the phone getting people's credit cards or selling double glazing, you know the way they were thinking wasn't flexible or agile enough and because they thought they'd been doing it for the last 50 years. This is the process that works rather than looking to new ways of adapting.   [0:06:16] PJ Bruno0: In one of my previous jobs I was working closely with the engineering team. And there I struck up a friendship with a Russian guy, he was quite different and I think a lot of people first misunderstood him for being quite brazen. Because he just said exactly what he thought all the time and he would come in in the morning and he would just make some off the cuff comment and talk really loud and people would be quite offended. I think especially comparing it to the people who have been living in the UK for longer, who are a bit more quiet, a bit more composed. And he would just say really funny things that would rattle people at times but that was just his character. I kind of liked that about him because it was a bit refreshing. As the weeks went by that he had joined the company, people started understanding that was just his cultural background as well and it became a bit of a joke too like, I bet he's gonna make a joke about this or that. It was a nice addition to the team at the end of the day.   [0:07:20] Speaker 8: Germans are always on time and they stress themselves a lot to be on time. Let's say if I'm about to run late I would not necessarily run over a red light but I would stress, if that makes sense. That is not good on your health and for so many other reasons it's not really nice, but it results in people being on time and being time efficient. Coming to the UK, not that they're really delayed or people just show up 2 hours late, but they take their time and a tolerance of 15 minutes is absolutely acceptable. I picked that up here because I quite like that, because even if you run late you don't stress yourself, you still take the next tube to work or whatever and coming back to Germany makes me feel really stressed all the time, because people just stress for no reason, like my mum she's working half=time and she would rush home and there's nothing waiting for her. If I'm queuing up in the supermarket and somebody is taking too much time to pay, here in the UK people would just be really patient and wait, whereby in Germany people would be like why can't you pay faster and whatever. I shouldn't really talk so bad about the Germans.   [0:08:43] PJ Bruno: Speaking of cultural differences, I did all of these podcasts in London this morning and only the German woman was direct enough to tell me that I had salad in my teeth this whole time, just great.   [0:08:56] Speaker 9: Growing up in Scotland in an Italian household, I would behave in quite an Italian way, I think, without realizing it, to my Scottish friends. So something that's really common in Italy is to be very honest but in a nice way. I'm quite direct but again in a nice way, not in a confrontational way so it wasn't unusual to say to someone, you look awful today, you look really tired, you look really really tired. But in a really nice way as in are you okay?, is there something that I can do to help you (laughs). You just don't look yourself, what's going one, but someone did turn around to me and, I won't use exact words because we're recording, but did say is it because I look terrible today and I said no no I'm just really concerned about you. That offended them.   [0:09:53] Speaker 6: The first time I went to a physio in London, it got really embarrassing because in Italy it's normal when you go to see a doctor or an osteopath or a physiotherapist to take your clothes off. The physiotherapist left the room and said okay I'm going back in 2 minutes just get ready and lay down and so when he came back I was wearing just my underwear. He was like oh no please can you put your clothes back on. And then I find out that in the UK it's not needed. (Laughter)   [0:10:28] Speaker 5: I have one of my best friends, her name is Flo.   [0:10:37] Speaker 8: So one of my best friends is Brazilian.   [0:10:39] Speaker 5: We used to struggle a little bit with some of our cultural differences.   [0:10:42] Speaker 8: In her culture it's quite normal to ask a question several times because people might not feel comfortable saying yes. Say like you offer a snack or a dinner or whatever.   [0:10:53] Speaker 5: In Germany, from my understanding, when people give an answer that's their final answer. Whereas in Brazil being the persuasive kind of Brazilians that we are, we don't take a no for an answer.   [0:11:05] Speaker 8: In her culture it is polite to say no initially and be asked again, in Germany it's the opposite, if you say no and you get asked again, people get pretty annoyed for the reason for example of like didn't you listen that I just said no.   [0:11:19] Speaker 5: It's just because I really want you to be part of whatever I'm asking. So let's say tonight like lets go out and have a drink, oh no Pria I'm tired. Oh but come on let's just have one drink, no Pri I've already told you, oh but just one come on it's Thursday. She's like Pri I said no, and I said but why, what else you have to do?   [0:11:38] Speaker 8: That was a friction in our friendship but we addressed it quite nicely by stating where we're coming from in terms of in my culture it's that way and in her culture it's that, so let's just try to work together.   [0:11:52] Speaker 4: I've been in London now for the past nine years and I guess I'll be perceived as very non Swedish, so going back to Stockholm this must have been 4 or 5 years ago and I met with a friend and we went to a bar. I was going up to the bar, it's busy I'm ordering and while we're waiting there I'm waiting to be served I look over to my right and there's a bloke there, he's also waiting for a drink, waiting to order, so just out of nowhere I say hey how's it going how's your night? And he just looks at me like why are you talking to me. Because again going back to what I said earlier Swedes don't really take well towards strangers coming into their circle and disrupting their groove. So I think that I actually properly offended him, he looked at me big eyes and then just turned away.   [0:12:44] Speaker 8: When I think about an experience that has shaped me quite a lot and thinking about diversity was when I was roughly 20 years old and I moved to Mexico for 3 years. The thing that I found most shocking was when they tend to say things making other people feel comfortable as opposed to actually meaning it, that could be as let's meet up on Fridays and hang out, but then they never really follow up and me as a German I took that really seriously. Just to give you a concrete example, I organized a dinner, invited a couple of friends, of the friends that I made there, they basically never showed up. Living in the culture for another 2 years I really learned how to deal with that and in that scenario, if I had to relive that situation again I would make sure to remind them a couple of days before. Like a confirmation and continue the conversation and that's one thing that really struck me and almost was quite painful, because having set up the dinner and people not turning up that was quite weird at the time.   [0:13:50] Speaker 5: When I moved from Brazil to Portugal I was about a month into the country and I was in school so just like hearing people referring to other kids as putos, it was interesting to me, because in Portuguese and I guess in many other languages, when a word finishes with an O or with an A it means that an O is a masculine and A is a feminine. So there's me there in this group of friends, acquaintances at school and I thought to myself, why not try to be Portuguese about it and show them that I am actually, you know guess what I'm getting to know your culture and I want to use your words I want to use your sentences. So I start to tell them my story and I wanted to refer back to my past when I was a small kid and there was me hearing this like all those putos, and obviously putos means a boy. What did I think immediately, oh when I was a puta forgetting exactly that puta actually means the same thing in both languages , well in both accents lets say in Portugal and in Brazil. But it was very embarrassing because everyone started looking at me and I had the whole innocence on me to refer to myself as a kid, but using the female version of puto baputa without thinking of the actual meaning of it. So it was very embarrassing, everyone just looked at me.   [0:15:20] PJ Bruno: What's the meaning of it though?   [0:15:21] Speaker 5: Prostitute.   [0:15:22] PJ Bruno: Oh Okay. See I don't speak either language so.   [0:15:27] Speaker 5: Can this be on the podcast?   [0:15:28] PJ Bruno: I think so, I'll try to work it in.   [0:15:31] Speaker 5: Okay.   [0:15:32] PJ Bruno: So you referred to yourself as a prostitute.   [0:15:35] Speaker 5: Exactly.(Laughs)   [0:15:40] PJ Bruno: How can we dig deeper to find out what someone else's values are and what they see as acceptable and familiar. Pellegrino Ricardi cross cultural expert encourages us to ask anything as long as it's with curiosity. Step 1 ask a simple question Step 2 listen to the answer, pick a word and follow up on that word. The only caveat, this will only work with people who are from cultures that like to verbally express themselves. How do you greet new people?   [0:16:10] Speaker 3: I like people to be really casual, I find the formality of meeting new people so awkward and I really freeze with small talk. I hate small talk and actually I think the thing I admire people in terms of the art of conversation is being able to talk about something other than the weather or where you're from or how you got into work that day. And I love it when people just bring really random questions into conversations like, if you were a color what color would you be. I mean it just can be so random but it catches you off guard and you actually find out more about people. I think on the first day it's always nice if you meet someone, or you meet a client for the first time just to be polite but then also get the conversation going around something else as well.   [0:16:52] PJ Bruno0: I think when I wanna include new people I usually just try to hang out with them a little bit. What's really nice in the UK specifically is that you just go to the pub after work, so I try to make an effort and invite people to come along to that. Usually that's been received quite well but depending on who it is, sometimes people are a little bit more shy and they don't feel comfortable doing that kind of stuff, which is fine as well.   [0:17:17] Speaker 4: A nice thing might be a little bit overwhelming, what I tend to do when I speak to someone is also to pull in others around me and sort of help that new person, to introduce them to the wider group and I think that comes back to what I said previously where some people might not naturally want to approach people, so to bring them into a conversation while sort of being there and safeguarding the communication. I think that's typically something that I would do.   [0:17:45] Speaker 3: I think just smile, honestly especially now I work the middle east territory and can you imagine it's really again male dominated. I'm working Israel, I work Dubai, you know these companies all have their own culture fit and I tell you what just a smile goes a long way. It just lets people know as soon as they see, that you're friendly you're approachable. It's a language that everybody speaks, no matter where they're from.   [0:18:11] PJ Bruno: Today is the world day for cultural diversity for dialogue and development. A sanctioned international holiday. The need for diversity and inclusion can take may shapes, but it exists everywhere. Our EMEA team would like to leave you with some helpful tips when working or playing internationally.   [0:18:30] PJ Bruno0: One thing that I would recommend for people visiting Germany or Switzerland is don't be put off by people who are a little bit harsh maybe or who are a little bit direct. Oftentimes it can be harder to make friends, if you let yourself get scared off by the first contact which might be not as friendly or as polite as you would imagine. But just be open to people, somebody doesn't react the way that you're used to that's probably got nothing to do with yourself, it's probably just the culture. Just make sure that you keep trying to interact with people and try not to take offence.   [0:19:14] Speaker 5: So [inaudible] could be not to wait for your turn to talk, because you might never get the chance to speak.   [0:19:19] PJ Bruno0: No just talk.   [0:19:20] Speaker 5: Just if you have something to say just say it.   [0:19:23] Speaker 9: Also touching, touching is [inaudible] it's not unusual when you see someone to rub their arm and be like hi how are you   [0:19:33] Speaker 5: Or you want to get their attention while you're talking because you want somebody to listen more, you would grab his arm.   [0:19:40] Speaker 9: Yes, just give them a wee hit.   [0:19:44] Speaker 3: So I'm going to give my tips for the UK and I think the number 1 thing in the UK, which we're known for is queuing and you really just have to get that down. If you come from an Asian culture where queuing, you might see a picture of it and there's 100 people and it's like first come first served, get in there. If you try and do that in the UK, people will be pretty angry. But the other thing is that people are very un-confrontational in the UK so you won't get like a Hey Man This is My Place In The Queue, you'll just get a dirty look or even nothing, you'll just get a nudge, you know they'll get real angry. People don't like that.   [0:20:23] Speaker 4: Move out of your comfort zone a little bit because ultimately I believe that people are nice, just exposing yourself to other people that you don't know is hopefully going to open up a new world to you.   [0:20:36] PJ Bruno: Happy cultural diversity day, go learn about someone different.

The Member Spotlight Mini Series continues as Jen and Annie interview Beth, a long-time Balance365 members whose daily gym selfies help keep other community members stay motivated. Beth is one of the amazing women in the Balance365 community - tune in for her inspiring, down to earth perspective on healthy habits and the good that comes from them that goes far beyond weight loss.     What you’ll hear in this episode: What was going on for Beth when she joined How Beth found the Balance365/Healthy Habits Happy Moms community Getting past when you get “stuck” The habit that made the biggest difference for Beth Meal planning for a season - Beth’s approach Why Beth does daily gym selfies How Beth found habits became wellness snowballs The role of mutual support between women on social media Feminism and weight loss The problem with goal weights Setting goals you can control vs goals you can influence Beth’s advice to anyone on the fence about Balance365 Beth’s advice to anyone feeling stuck about starting the program Weight loss of a byproduct and the other benefits of eating in a balanced way Moderation as a way to reclaim the body you were meant to have Balanced eating as a way to manage existing health conditions The role of the diet industry in weight gain   Resources: New Jeans And Vacation Without Shame: Sarah’s Story Small, Sustainable Changes: A Balance365 Journey With Danica How To Fall In Love With Exercise, Even If You Hate It Vivienne McMaster Episode 21: Before You Delete – How To Handle A Photo You Hate Beth’s Instagram Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Balance365 Life radio. We are back today with our mini series called Members Spotlights. This allows us to introduce you to Balance365 community members who are just killing it inside the program so you can take their wisdom and stories and learn from them. They are busy women and moms just like you who are changing their habits, their mindsets and reaching their goals. Today you're going to hear from one Balance365 member who is determined to find changes she could make that produce results without taking over her life. Beth is a seasoned member of our community and is a self-proclaimed member of the slow starter team but since deciding to take action she has made great strides towards her goals including more balanced dinners and consistent exercise. I can't wait for you to hear more about Beth's experience. Enjoy! Beth, welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, how are you? Beth: I'm OK. How are you guys? Annie: We are golden, we're so happy to have you, we as in me and Jen. Jen's here too. Jen, how are you? Jen: Hi, good. Yes. Annie: We woke you up. You are in a beautiful house coat this morning. Lauren: My Instagram audience is quite accustomed to seeing this housecoat so all good, all good. Not ashamed! Annie: Now it's a signature look and full disclosure, I put one on my wish list. Jen: You don't have a housecoat. Annie: I don't have a housecoat. We call them a robe- Jen: That's bizarre. Annie: Beth, do you call it a housecoat or a robe? Beth:  So I call it a robe but what I wear is a housedress. Jen: Oh, I love that. Annie: That's next level, is that like a nightgown? Beth: Yep. Annie: So Jen- Jen: That's my 1950s dream, like but with rights. Annie:  I don't know how you can not get twisted when you sleep in house coats. Beth: I don't sleep in it. Jen:  Sometimes I sleep in my housecoat. It depends what's going on in my life. Beth: I keep it next to my bed so I can throw it on when I have to go deal with things but no, I'm not wearing it to bed, no. Jen: No, I wear my nighties, they're these silky long things, I don't. I just, you should try it. Annie: No, I'm good in my tank top and sweats. Jen: It's like that meme that went around with the spaghetti straps and the boobs out. Annie: Boobs falling out. Jen: That is me sleeping in a tank top. Beth: Remember when we were like "We're going to stay on topic" Annie: I know that's what I was just going to say, before we started recording we were like, I was talking about how I am pretty good at staying on topic but Jen and Beth are chatty cathies in the most wonderful way possible, they have a lot to say and whereas like, I'm going to keep these ladies on topic and look at us now. Jen: I heard you going for, I saw you going for the B word there and then your lips changed to ladies. Beth: I really respect where they were going. Annie:  You know what, the B word in my vocabulary is a term of endearment. Jen: Yes. Annie: But we have also labeled this podcast as clean which is very, very challenging for me so I feel like I deserve snaps for that. OK so, Beth, you have a long, long time member of Balance365 and you have actually been one of those women we've kind of consulted on across the years, I've called you personally and said like "Hey, what do you think of this? What's the vibe on this? What's the community feel on this? And you kind of been,  I don't know, like a good sounding board because ultimately we're here for you and our community and you've always been really in touch with our community, so thanks for joining us on the show, it's like about time we have you on. Beth:  Yay! I don't know what to say. I'm just happy to be here. Annie: OK. Well, why don't you tell us the Cliff Notes version of how you found Balance365. Beth: Sure, so my sister-in-law, who was recently featured on your podcast, Sarah, she added me to the public group without telling me and this is back in the day when you guys added people in like large groups and so one day and just all the stuff was in my feed. And I was a little bit shocked but it was a message that I really felt good about and it was close to what I was already kind of following in my own social media. So I was in the public group probably, well, you know, 6 months or so and then you guys had a, at the time again Balance365 was going all at once, people were going in groups and so I joined in September of 2016. And yeah, that's the Cliff notes version of how I ended up with y'all. Annie: In hindsight, do you think adding people to the group without telling them is a good start? Because that comes up a lot, like- Jen: That still happens. Annie: And then people, sometimes people are like "How did I get in this group and what is this?" Because our message is quite revolutionary and our opinions so to get and it's big, it's active in a really great way but as you said, when you join the group it can be a little bit like "Whoa!" Like. Beth: Yeah so I think that that strategy can backfire or it can go well, right, so I think for me it was great but I think sometimes for the community it's hard, like people adding, you know, kind of drive by adding their friends to the community, especially if your attitude is "My friend really needs to do the program because she's so crazy and won't stop talking about her bizarre diet, I'm going to add her to this group" like that's horrifying to the community, right, like, because then this person is in there being like "Let me show you my before and after,  I lost 100 pounds in 4 months and I never ate any carbs " and you're like "Ahh!" Jen: Totally and then it kind of disrupts the community and some people feel upset even, because they say "I'm in this group to get away from that kind of stuff" Annie: And then the individual can often get defensive and- Jen: Yeah, it's really difficult. I think it's better if people organically find us. Beth: In general I would agree. Annie: Or you approach your person, your friend in real life and say "Hey I've got a group I think you'd really like, would you mind if I add you? Or can I send you a link to join?" Yeah. Well, I'm so happy that Sarah added you and if you haven't listen to Sarah's podcast. Sarah has such a wonderful story too. She's had so many wins in our group and you can find her podcast, we can put that in the show notes too, she's just a gem of a woman. Jen: I enjoy her. Beth: She's my fave. Annie: Is she your only sister? Beth: She's actually my sister-in-law. We're married to twins so I met my husband in college and then I set her up with his brother. We were high school best friends. Annie: Oh that's perfect. I see what you did there, you were just trying to curate your family with people you like. Beth: No new friends. Annie: I love it and now look at you, you're on a podcast with 40,000 women. OK. So, let's let's get to it. You joined Balance365 in 2016. You purchased it a while ago but honestly, as you have been open and shared with us in our community, that it took you awhile to committing to the process and since fully committing you've experienced quite a few changes including weight loss. Can you tell us more about your experience with that? Beth: Sure, so when I joined in September 2016 I was just finishing law school. And starting a career at 35 and I really thought, like, now I'll have too much to implement some habits and lose weight and that was crazy. I don't know what I was thinking. I was entering a new field I was going from having not work a full time job in 8 or 9 years to working 50 plus hours a week so like, it really was not a perfect time for me to focus on implementing habits but I just kind of slowly would implement, like, you know, one habit halfway for 4 or 5 months and you know, dabbled, I did a lot of dabbling. "Oh maybe this is the one! Maybe this is the one! Maybe this is the one!" And there is nothing wrong with that. I actually think that a lot of women when they join program they kind of need a time of doing that. Because they've been relying on programs that project, that portion of my growth. I was stuck there for quite a while, like just about 2 years. And for me that wasn't great, like, I think I was there too long. I needed to kick start something sooner and I think, I see a lot of women in our community who sometimes have that problem, like they get to this point where they're like, "I have to completely address my sleep problem before I can address anything else or I have to completely address this one thing that I'm worried about before I can address something else and for me, I was getting stuck there. Jen: We, it's sort of like, it's like you're waiting for things to be perfect before you can start or something like "My life must look like this and then I can start" and Danica addressed this in her podcast with us as well and I mean, she had the same realisation, nothing changes unless something changes and there is never going to be a perfect time. Beth: Yeah, I, you know, I think it was not the right time, like it was not a good time for me to start when I joined the program. I'm not sad that I did it when I did. I'm happy for the time that I spent allowing myself, because I think that's the other thing is I think some of the women come in and they're, some people who come into a group in any kind of group and they're like, I paid for this and now I have to do it, right? And I think that's relatively unproductive a way to think about things because this is a lifelong experience, right? I can change my habits from now until I die. I don't have to change them all right, you know. And so I think there was a positive to be had with sitting and being like nothing is really changing and that's OK but if you, for me I was starting to feel frustrated with that, that kind of for me was the moment of being like "OK" but then as Danica said, if I don't change something, nothing will change and so for me, some of it was just identifying what kind of habit I can change that would produce a change in my life but not take over my life. I don't want a program that takes over my life. I think that's really important to me. I can't think of anything less interesting than thinking about food and exercise all day and so I needed something that I could make small change and for me that was, I just planned my dinners and then I just ate what I planned. And it's so boring and so mundane but it's what I did and it immediately resulted in changes to my body. Jen: So you were, I guess, that would be your dinner habit which is just one section of Balance365 that we have you address and did it dramatically change what you were eating or how much you were eating or? Beth: So really it was a matter of just, I think it changed the macro makeup of my- Jen: Right, the balance of it. Beth: Yeah, the balance. I was already eating all the all the correct things, I just was kind of addressing, you know, how much protein I really needed at dinner. I was looking at my dinner as a whole instead of just like, well, here's the meat and your vegetable or whatever, like, I was kind of looking at it as whole, you know,  like, "OK, what can I change? What will help me stay full? What will be satisfying? What will I be willing to eat? I am known, I suppose, in the community I meal plan once for a whole season because I hate meal planning, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. So I meal plan at the beginning of a season and then we need the same 7 dinners for 13 weeks, which is not for everyone but it works for me and so by picking things that I actually knew I would eat and that were balanced I was less likely to be like "I don't feel like eating that! I'm just going to the drive through?" or I think one big thing for me is they were easy. I picked easy things, which I will say during the 2 years when I was not actually implementing the program, I for sure would see Lauren and Annie talking about hating cooking and I would be like, "Oh come on, ladies, like, it's just not that hard, like, just, like how hard is it, right? But as I implemented this career that, you know, required, like, I have to lean on my husband a lot more to do a lot of that stuff and so planning things that I knew that at the end of the day it would be, there was chicken in the fridge and I could just take a bagged salad and throw it on top of it, like, it made it so that I would actually do it and so I just did, I just ate the dinner that I planned. I think that's so boring but it's what I did. Jen:  The thing is studies show that one of the biggest contributing factors to our food choices is convenience and so this is not it's not necessarily a flaw of humans, it's something, you know, it's population wide but we are busy people, we are very busy people and that's why meal planning works. The majority of women who work with us are actually working women, like working outside of the home, women and you know and so you know, we get it. Like, I mean, Annie, Lauren and I work so you, when it comes to supper time, you know, it's just, you know, I don't have time in my day to sit down in the morning and decide what we're having for the day and go to the grocery store and get all those ingredients and you know, I used to do that. I used to really enjoy it, like, I really did enjoy that component of being a stay at home but working, being a working mom is a whole new ballgame and yeah, meal planning can be just such a stress reducer, in a working family, I shouldn't say woman, I should say family. Bring boys in close here. Annie: You know, circling back to when you're talking about how Lauren I hate cooking. Beth: Sorry. Annie: No, no, I can own that because I don't, it's not that I can't, I mean, I can follow directions and probably cook some meals but I just don't want to, like, just like some people don't want to run or don't want to exercise or just like that's just not how I want to spend my time so that's why I really love Balance365 is because I'm not like, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work period. And so for me to go out and buy this meal plan that requires all this cooking or all this meal prepping or all this like grocery shopping, like that's just not going to, like it to me it feels like me trying to fit a, what is it? A square peg into a round hole, like, I could maybe do that for a while, like  white knuckling, I could like stick to the plan for a little bit but eventually I'd like, that doesn't sound fun, like, that's just not like something I enjoy. So I can still balance my meals in a way that works for me that doesn't require a lot of cooking or a lot of meal prepping or on the flipside, someone that likes to cook can also do a lot of cooking with it if they want. If that's how they want to spend their time and it's like no judgment or no, neither one is better and worse than the other, it's just what works for you, period, is all we're really concerned with. Jen:  I wanted to circle back to those 2 years where you weren't inactive, that's the thing, it's not like you bought and then you were inactive, you were very active in the group particularly in, we have a spin off group and some spin off groups, I guess, it's the Facebook group that's attached to our strength program Arms like Annie and you were active in Balance365 as well as you were quite active in Arms Like Annie. So it's not that you actually didn't do anything. You implemented an exercise habit. Beth: That's true, yep, but as, I mean, we've talked about it in the community, many times, like, an exercise habit is wonderful and there's so many positive things you gain from an exercise habit, but you know, if I just change nothing about my dietary habits, my nutrition habits, you know, it may not make a big dent in my fat loss and it didn't but it did produce lots of other positives. Jen: Absolutely, there's so many, you know, I would say fat loss is the last reason to work out. I mean, that's me personally, I don't know how other people feel but there's just so many health benefits to it that you don't even have to throw fat loss on the list, so but that's so, that's wonderful for you, really, holistically to have an exercise habit nailed and then you moved on to nutrition and- Annie: You know, that's actually one of my favorite things about Beth is that she is posting her selfies, her gym selfies at ridiculous hours in the morning because sleep is, you know, a love hate thing with you sometimes, so you go to the gym in the morning by yourself and you post your selfie and half the time you're like "Look, I didn't want to do this but I'm here and now and now I feel better or now I know my day is going to like take off in a completely different direction had I hit the snooze alarm or turn off the alarm and not come at all" and I love that you own it, just like I own I don't like cooking. You don't really like exercise but you see the benefits, like, you feel better, your day goes better, the rest of your habits seem to fall in line, which you've said before, it's kind of a snowball habit, like, your day is just different when you exercise, right? Beth: Yes, that whole, yeah, there's a lot I guess I'm trying to stay on topic, there's a lot to say about my gym habit and my selfies and all of that.  I do find I don't enjoy exercise, it's not, I danced in, like, my youth, when I was pre-college I was a dancer and I loved that but I never really found that same level of enjoyment from any other kind of exercise, including like, people were like "You should take a group fitness class, that's like dance based." No thank you, I don't want to, I'm not interested. It's not the same. You know, and people are like "You should do the barre method." Please, no thank you. I will just not. I will just watch my daughters dance and I will get the same enjoyment from that and my sons. I get enjoyment from that but not with the exercise. So I am, I did, I don't like cardio at all, and so I bought Arms like Annie and I think when I bought it there might not have been a  spinoff group yet and it turned out the Facebook's spinoff group really helped me achieve consistency with my habit and I feel so ridiculous, I will be honest, like, the selfies feel ridiculous to be me most days. But so there's a couple things, I guess, on the selfie thing, one is, I was mentioned in a previous podcast about what if you hate exercise, so I do, I put selfies every day when I'm in the gym, partly to create a sense of accountability to the group that I've said I will do this and I will do it and I show up. And as weird as it feels to me because I don't think I've done anything inspirational, like, I have women both in our community and women who like follow me on Instagram who are like, they feel that it is inspirational that I get up and I go to the gym. Jen: It is. I find, sometimes I see them in the morning and I'm like "Oh, just go, Jen, just do it, Beth did it. Annie:  Beth did it, you can do it too. Beth: It's hard for me to see it as inspirational. I really try and treat my social media like, I try to treat it like a real, when I was coming, when I was having kids, I'm a little older than, my kids are older than y'all's kids and when they were coming up I found it really hard, there wasn't as much social media and I felt really alone in hating being a mom, like I hated it and I felt alone, so when I tried to put myself out on social media in any way, I tried to be really honest about who I am and how it feels. So I do say, I hate cardio, I hate that I'm here in the gym, I say "I had to talk myself into every single set I did today." And I feel like, I see that there are women who feel the same way and they do see it as inspirational that I went. It's funny because I kind of see it as just me like kvetching into the like universe but I see why people feel it's inspirational but also, I do the selfies for me. So a long time ago in the community, I think it was when I was in the public facing group, Jen had recommended something and I somehow came to to the work of Vivian McMaster, she's a photographer and she focuses on, she has programs focusing on self portraiture as part of, like, self acceptance and Annie said the same thing a number of times in the group, like, just taking pictures of ourselves and just seeing what we look like can get us to body neutrality. Jen:  We have a whole podcast, not a whole podcast but we've mentioned this in a podcast and it's the whole thing of if you don't like the way you look in photos, you shouldn't take less, you should take more and look at yourself more. You need to get used to the way you look. Beth: Yeah, so I am, I really have tried to, like, so I will say I don't post a lot of unattractive selfies of myself, I'm still extraordinarily vain. Annie: Yeah, like you're feeling yourself. Beth: But I take, literally, in a month, probably thousands of selfies, like, I met admit how narcissistic that sounds but whatever, here it is. And they are attractive and unattractive and they are from angle that look good for me and the angles that don't because when I take them and I see myself I become, like, inoculated against seeing myself. And there was a long time where I was taking a ton of gym selfies and I was feeling good because I was taking a specific angle and I was avoiding all the other angles and I went on a trip with my friends and somebody posted, you know, a picture of a group of us and "Ahhh!" It was like a wake up call that, like, OK, like, I've lost some of the honesty of this practice. And I needed to get back to taking pictures and seeing myself for what it really is and this is just my body, this is just the body that I live in and it's fine and sometimes I feel really great about it and other times I feel kind of ambivalence about the whole thing and neither of those is the right emotion, they are just how I feel in that moment and so, I, so, yeah, so I take selfies for me as well I don't just take them to be an inspiration to the community. Annie: I love it because, to me, to me it's an act of self-love and it's an expression of self-love and I think, it's, sometimes women need permission to do the same and when they see other women taking selfies at the gym from good angles, from bad angles, like, this is cute, I don't really like this but I'm going to post it anyway because this is me like it gives women the permission to do the same and in fact, along the same lines of kind of what both you and Jen were talking about is we don't really cultivate self love by just focusing on the stuff we love, it's also exploring the stuff that we maybe don't love or even the stuff we hate and like why do we hate this, what is it about this, where did this start, where did this come from? Like and how can we move through that or at least like not be so dang uncomfortable with it, like you said when you see that photo, like, "Oh my god, delete, untag, get rid of that, I don't ever want to see it again!" Like maybe just sit with it, which we have a whole another podcast on that we can link in the show notes too but yeah, so I love that about you, Beth, I love that you, you just own it and if you've ever posted a selfie on social media best sees it, she is your top hype woman. She is like, liking that stuff, she's commenting, she's responding to your story, like, "Yes, woman, yes" Jen:  Women should, they should do that for each other, we should be celebrating each other non stop because we are coming out of an era where we shamed, we were shamed and we've shamed each other. We are coming out of that era and it's time we women need to stop hiding, post all the selfies. Beth:  Absolutely. Annie: Beth will have, I'm just going to, I hope you don't mind me- Jen: I'm going to post one today now. And I'm going to wait for Beth to comment on it. Annie: I hope you don't mind me sharing, Beth but Beth, you even posted, because we're friends on Facebook, like, I think you said something like, I've had a glass of wine or something, post your selfies so I can hype you up. You were going to work, you're like "This is like, I'm going to spend, you know, X amount of time hyping up women in my life, like, telling them how awesome they are." Jen: We're doing a selfie now. Beth: Okay, sorry, i just needed to take one for the gram, I was doing it for the gram. So yes I, so I have a very boring career as a real estate attorney, it's not anything real super exciting and it's not the work that I, I mean- Jen: It's not Law and Order? Beth: No and I love what I do but it is not, it's not lifting up people, you know, the way that I want my life, the way I want my life's work to be and what I have come to realize is like, you can have a career and you can also have a life's work and they don't have to be the same thing and I really truly believe that my life's work is about helping people feel good about themselves and accepting themselves and so it's weird because, like, I'm not, I'm just a girl who has friends on Facebook. Like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't have a public facing Facebook page and on how that's not what my life is about, I can only touch so many lives because I am a busy mom but I have a community of, especially because I went to law school late in life, I have a community of women who are younger than me who, I'm like, you could do this before you're 35, you could be in love with the life that you are choosing, you could be in love with it now and you can accept yourself radically now, you do not have to wait until you're an old woman, you don't have to wait until you have gray hair to decide to love what you look like and so I do. I will, especially, it's true if I drink I'm especially likely to just troll my friends' Instagrams. Jen: Loving up on all of them. Beth:  But I will also, like, if I'm having a bad day I will ask people to post selfies in my comment sections so I can tell them how great they are because- Jen: Oh, that's so lovely. Beth: It really does make me feel better, like I feel better doing that and as Jen, I do think, I think loving yourself radically as a woman is a feminist act, like, I think it is saying to society that, like, you know, you can kick rocks, like, this is what we're doing now. Jen: Yeah, we're loving each other, like we are, this is not a woman against woman society anymore.. Beth: No and I saw a meme the other day day and it said something along the lines of "Who needs to send scandalous pictures to men when we can just celebrate each other" and that's how I feel, right, like, you don't have to, like I don't know, I don't care, you don't have to think I'm cute. Like, my girlfriends will hype me up and I am, I joke, I'm everybody's auntie on Facebook because if you post a selfie I am going to tell you how great you look. And I just, I, it's part of, I think, it's one of the things I love most about myself and so it matters. Annie: I love it about you too. Jen: I know that you have to go, Beth, so here's what I hear. I hear radical self acceptance, really bad A-S-S gym habit. Working out, building the guns every morning and as a byproduct of and you started implementing nutrition habits, balanced nutrition habits make you feel good and as a byproduct you have seen some weight loss that you are, I don't know if pleased is the right word, how do you feel about the weight loss? Because I know you are a very, you are, you've, you strongly identify with the feminist movement, I know that about you and so sometimes in the feminist circles weight loss is a touchy subject, right, because as you know it's been used to abuse women for so many years, so how do you feel as a strong feminist who has changed their nutrition habits and is losing weight? Beth: You know, I'm pretty ambivalent about weight loss, if I'm being really honest. I, some of that is because of all the things you mentioned, right, like how our bodies look has been such a weapon against us over the centuries. And so some of it's that and some of it is I have, well, I didn't do a lot of dieting in my life, I did do a lot of binge and restrict, just traditional trying not to eat the bad thing- Jen: Just the traditional- Beth: Just the traditional, you know, thing that we all do, I don't eat anything and then I eat all the things. So I have lost tremendous amounts of weight and been congratulated by the world and then have the experience of gaining it back and feeling like there was something wrong with me for having gained it back so I am a little bit ambivalent about weight loss for that reason, like, just that I want to make sure that I don't put too much of my value in it. Jen: Right. Beth: But, like, so I actually shared that my mother's in town right now and I shared this story with her the other day and I thought it was really, it's one of the things I gained from Balance 365 that I'm the most thankful for. I was in my doctor's office the other day and I told him I was, like, "Look, you know, I'm doing all this stuff and like the weight, really, like it's just, it's a slow slog. I feel like it's not coming off. I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do and it's not coming off."   And he told me, he said, "You know, you're an attorney who has 4 children. You live a very high stress life and it will be hard for you to lose weight,  like it's going to be hard, like the stress is going to make it difficult," and he said, "So, you know, I wouldn't put a lot of weight on that. I wouldn't put a lot of your focus on trying to lose weight because it may not happen, you know" and it felt really, at first, really discouraging. But there were lots of times in my life where if I had heard that message from a doctor that I would have been like "Well, I'm calling it. It's ice cream sundaes for the rest of the week and I'm staying in bed and I'm not going to the gym" and instead, I mean, this was probably 2 months ago, I have only increased my gym consistency and focused more on my eating because it really turns out weight loss is not my aim doing this, ultimately. I've stopped linking the things that I do for my health to how fat I am. Like I've just stopped linking those two things. Jen: Good for you. The weight loss is just a byproduct, like, it really, you know, it's and that's what Balance365 is about and that's what a lot of women's journeys have to be is that weight loss is not a driver, it's not like, you know, where for a lot of women it was, right? It was like wake up in the morning, OK, what do I have to do to lose weight today, right? Instead of going, waking up in the morning, saying "Hey, how am I  taking care of me today?" and the byproduct of that, you know, it is what it is and for some people that could be weight loss. Annie: And one of the kind of philosophies that we preach is that weight loss is not a behavior, it's not a habit, it's a byproduct or it can be a byproduct of our habits and that's not, that's, I mean, we're a habit based behavior change company, so we're focusing on behavior change that you're after, that's important to you, that matters to you, that works for you and if weight loss is a byproduct of that and you're comfortable with it, then we're comfortable with it. Beth: Yeah, and that was a big plus for me here because I've always been like "What's your goal?" "Well, my goal is to lose 50 pounds or my goal is to lose two pant sizes or my goal is to, you know, whatever" and it was like it was revolutionary for me for my goal to be "I'm just going to show up at the gym," like, I'm just going to show up and I may not have any strength gains and I may not lose any weight and I may not have any result, there may not  be a result, I'm just, my goal is something that I can control which is shocking because most of us have been in programs for our whole lives where the goal was something that in reality we have very little control over, right? Jen: Right. Beth: You can do all the things right, you can exercise perfectly and you still may not lose weight and you have no control over it so your goal is something you're like, I may never gets to, that's the worst, who wants that kind of goal? Jen: Yeah, I mean, I think you if you know your body well, you know, you can influence your weight, you know, that there are certain behaviors that influence weight loss but having, I mean this is why we have to be very careful with setting goal weights is that what if you, what if you are living a life you feel very healthy and balanced and you're not at that goal weight? Like, what are you willing to do, right and so it's sometimes it's just disappointing to set them, right, like? Annie: Right, well and even in our experience after coaching thousands of women, you know, the goal weight that many women have for themselves is like so unrealistic. "Where did you get that number?" "Well, that's what I graduated high school at. That's what I got married at 30 years ago." Jen: And you dieted for 6 months before your wedding day and now- Annie: Yes and I think, you know, Jen and I talk about this all the time, you know, Jen and I similarly, we're within a year apart with 3 kids, same height but Jen and I have like a 50 pound difference between us and so for me to think that like, "I could be Jen's weight," or for Jen to think "Oh, I could be Annie's weight," like that's just absurd. Like it's just, like, not realistic on either end of the spectrum and so yeah, I think that's just something to consider when, if you're listening and you have a have a goal weight in mind or if that's, like, in your back pocket it's like maybe give that some thought- Jen: Maybe focused on your behaviors and as an act of self-love you can let your weight be what it's going to be while you are pursuing behaviors that feel really good and really healthy for you. Beth: Well and I don't, I guess, I didn't, I don't want to sound like, you know, like, I sound like a Debbie Downer, like, I feel ambivalent about weight loss and you might not lose anything and I should say I have lost 15 pounds since the beginning of September so it's not as if, I'm not trying to say, like, it's impossible to lose weight or you you can't lose fat. Absolutely, it's possible but it's just for me, it's been very freeing to have goals that have nothing to do with my weight, that are just goals that I have control over so I don't want to make it sound like "Eh, lose weight" Annie: Beth, I enjoy you so much. OK, real quickly and then we'll let you get on with your day because, you know, it's a nice Sunday afternoon before the holidays, perfect timing for a podcast. If someone was on the fence and they were listening about joining Balance365 what advice would you give them? Beth: I think there is never, I don't think there's anyone who couldn't benefit from the program. So I will start by saying, "I think you should do it." And alternatively, as a second thing, if you are in a position where, like, you're worried, like, financially I don't know if I can do it, or you know, if you have reasons that you are holding yourself back that are valid ones that for you, then I do think, my experience is that there is certainly benefit to being in the group before you're ready to make changes but it's OK to wait, it's OK to wait until you're ready. So if you feel like it's not right then maybe it's not right right now but there's no one who I wouldn't say "Yeah this is a program that you can benefit from." So, you know do it, you can hang with me in the slow start club. There's a lot of us, there are a lot of us in the slow start club and I think now, kind of my purpose, it's not another life's work but like my goal in the group is to kind of try and help those people who are still hanging back, wanting to start, not knowing how to. Jen: We have a lot of Balance365ers who are listening and so if you and some of them are like, they're holding back from just getting started, so what would your advice be because I saw you tell somebody the other day in the group, I'm not sure what the post was about but you said "Hey look, I waited two years, I think, you waited two years to get started and that was a big mistake." Beth: Yeah. Jen: So what would your advice be to move people out of that zone of like- Annie: Contemplation. Jen: I've started but not starting, I've purchased but I'm not starting. Beth: I think I would say, "OK, so I think, my personal opinion is that starting with the balancing one meal is the right way to go. Now, that was what was right for me, not everybody is going to start the same way and  but I'm speaking to people that for whom balancing a meal would be a good way to start and here's what I would say to those people: you have to eat something for dinner tonight anyway. Jen: Right, you might as well balance it. Beth: You have to. It's not as if your stress means you don't eat dinner, in fact, most of us are here because our stress means extra dinner, so like,  if you are in a red zone and Annie and I, when we tried to record this in the past and I was so sick, we talked a lot about how I have ambivalent feelings about the red zone as well, like it's not, I kind of feel like "Eh, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. For me, that's a big part of what I love about the community is there's not this sense of like "No excuses," like, there aren't really truly, there are no excuses, you just, you know, you either do it or you don't do it, because you want to or because you feel like you can or whatever, it's fine. If you don't do it, you don't do it. Nobody is watching. Jen: And no one's judging you. Beth: Like, I don't care. I don't care if eat a balanced dinner, like, you're cool. I have met so many wonderful women in the community and you know what, if they don't eat a balance dinner,  I could give two, right? Jen: Well, some people don't take action because they feel like, especially in this sort of "wellness industry area" they they don't take action because first of all, taking action in the past has been this big thing, overhauling their life, it's not like, "Hey, just balance your dinner. It's just like this one thing." It's like this overhaul, right and number two is you feel like people are watching you and you're going to be judged and you're going to get this right or you're going to get it wrong and it's like, we're not here to judge you, we're not here, you can't pass or fail. This isn't a, you know, we're just working at change, all together. Beth: Yeah, I guess, so yeah, I guess my advice would be just pick a meal and balance it and it feels, I know it feels like there's 7000 things that are keeping you from doing it, I know it feels that way, because we all feel that way, we all feel like, like you said, it might be the judgment of past diets or it might be fear of failure or it might be actual things, right it might be a sick child or a marriage that's falling apart or it could be any number of things. I have interpersonal problems too. I have and that's not to say,"I have these problems and if I can do it you can do it." I mean, we're all going to live that way forever.I have yet to meet a mom who's like my day is just so smooth and I have nothing to do with my time except meal plan and make perfectly balanced dinners. Like, I've never met that woman. I've never met her. Jen: Yeah. Beth:  I don't think she exists. I think she's fake and so you're going to make dinner tonight. You are going to. You're going to eat something so choose to eat something that is closer to what you think would help you achieve your goals. So, for me that meant just planning, I'm going to be honest, like I said, I go to Pudova, I buy chicken and I throw it on top of a bag salad, that is what I eat like 3 nights a week when my children are not home because it means I don't have to do anything. It's my favorite and I probably would eat it 7 days a week if my children were not home and I didn't have to feed them. Jen: Beth, do you feel better? Like, I mean, is there anything, like, can we attach some feelings to this? So because eating balanced meals isn't about, we're not guiding women into eating more balanced meals for weight loss, that's not our primary driver, do you feel better eating more balanced meal? Beth: So yes, one, like, digestive health is better, obviously, when you eat vegetables, friends, like that's just true. Jen: It's just yes. Beth: It's just a fact about your digestive tract and my digestive health is better when I eat vegetables. I personally have some gall bladder issues and when I'm balancing my fats I feel better in that sense and I think my sleep has improved since I've been implementing more balanced eating, probably some of that is because if I'm not going through the drive through I'm less likely to drink caffeinated beverages late in the day. Jen: Right. Annie: Right. Beth: So there's a number of things that I think are positive and some of it, I won't lie, some of it is that fat loss has been a byproduct has also made me more comfortable in my body in a number of ways and so I think there's lots of positives that have come from eating a balanced dinner. Jen: Yeah, I mean, I heard from one of our members as far as the fat loss, she said you know it's the little things like bending down to tie my shoes and not having, you know, all this fat in the way, it's like physical comfort that she quite enjoys about losing weight off her body and I think that's OK to talk about, right, like there's only so much we can control each of us individually and as long as we're talking inside the constructs of what you, what is possible and achievable for you I think that's, you know, totally OK. And the other reality is that in the culture we live in that is so, so guided by diet culture a lot of women, a lot of women the bodies they are in are a result of years, decades of dieting and sometimes implementing these habits and seeing fat loss is about taking back the body you were meant to have before you got into this binge and restrict cycle that the diet industry pushed you into, resulting in actually living in a larger body than what is healthy and just your, what your natural body is, right and I'm here for that, too, right, so we say about Balance365, we're not trying to help women live at a body weight that's leaner than what's healthy for them, we're trying to get you to reclaim the body you were meant to have. Annie: I love these conversations with Beth because it's, like, not just about, like, this exterior, like, this has a very deeply rooted, deeply seated meaning of exploring, like, your relationship with yourself, your relationship, how your relationship with the world affects your relationship with your family and your other relationships and like, how, it just changes how you show up in the world on so many levels and so I just always love Beth's perspective. Jen: Me too. Annie: Yeah, OK, Beth, I know you have places to go, would you mind sharing your Instagram handle? Beth: Sure, my instagram handle is bethiclaus, beth like my name, i, claus, like Santa Claus and you can follow me, I think it's set to public right now but I'll probably get a private but if you ask to follow me and you're a woman- Jen: She'll let you. Beth:  I definitely will let you. If you're a man, who know, maybe not. Jen: We're going to link to your Instagram account in the show notes. Beth: Girlfriends only. And so yeah, I mean, yes, if you follow me and then you do an Instagram story, there's like a 90 percent chance if you put a selfie in there you'll get feedback from me. Jen: Praise emojis and heart eyes. Beth: Positive affirms only as I like to say. Annie: Yeah, it's, what a great, you know, it's like dropping a pebble into a pond and watching the ripple, like, expand out. It's wonderful. I think that's such a great way to spend your time. I can't, like how valuable is that, making other women feel good or just encouraging other women to feel good, so thank you both for joining, Jen, this was fun that you were able to join for a member spotlight. It was enjoyable. Jen:  Yes. Annie: Even in your house coat. Jen: Yes and now we can all go and enjoy Christmas. Annie: I know, I know but it's going to be way past Christmas by the time this comes out so- Beth:  Merry Christmas, y'all. Annie: Merry belated Christmas. Alright, thank you ladies, we'll talk soon. Beth: Bye. Jen: Bye.

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent="no" equal_height_columns="no" menu_anchor="" hide_on_mobile="small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility" class="" id="" background_color="" background_image="" background_position="center center" background_repeat="no-repeat" fade="no" background_parallax="none" parallax_speed="0.3" video_mp4="" video_webm="" video_ogv="" video_url="" video_aspect_ratio="16:9" video_loop="yes" video_mute="yes" overlay_color="" video_preview_image="" border_size="" border_color="" border_style="solid" padding_top="" padding_bottom="" padding_left="" padding_right=""][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type="1_1" layout="1_1" background_position="left top" background_color="" border_size="" border_color="" border_style="solid" border_position="all" spacing="yes" background_image="" background_repeat="no-repeat" padding_top="" padding_right="" padding_bottom="" padding_left="" margin_top="0px" margin_bottom="0px" class="" id="" animation_type="" animation_speed="0.3" animation_direction="left" hide_on_mobile="small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility" center_content="no" last="no" min_height="" hover_type="none" link=""][fusion_text] Watch the live interview below P025[/fusion_text][fusion_youtube id="https://youtu.be/5cDvVVhoRo8" alignment="center" width="" height="" autoplay="false" api_params="&rel=0" hide_on_mobile="small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility" class="" /][fusion_text] Transcription (was completed by automated process. Please ignore any speech-to-text errors) [00:00:02] Ok. So welcome to another session of get sellers calling you podcast. And this is where we focus on helping realtors get more sales and get more sellers calling them and I'm excited to have a special guest a friend of mine for many years now and the real estate world. Genny Williams also known a.k.a. as the six figure coach. So Genny how are you doing. [00:00:26] I'm doing great because I get to hang out with you today. So thanks for having me here Beatty. No I didn't mean to talk over you but you know that's already in the past couple of conversations that we've had. I use the word genius to describe you and calling you by name. So that's exactly how I think of you and have throughout the years. Thanks for letting me be here. [00:00:53] Well I appreciate that because I think that actually goes both ways because a lot of that stuff I've used and some of the stuff I've used in my teaching and and what we apply in helping our clients I actually stole from you. [00:01:08] So you know that you know that this is what's really interesting you know and in English when you steal from someone else. It's called plagiarism but in marketing is called research. So I've done a lot of research with you. [00:01:23] And anything that I have learned from being in the trenches or the mistakes I've made please use them. That's if we can just have everybody short cards and learn from everyone else's mistakes. My gosh we'd be so much better off right. Absolutely. [00:01:41] Well let me do real quick. [00:01:42] I'd love to have you a quick introduction of who you are a little bit about your real estate career and maybe you said also just how folks listening in or watching in can kind of get a perspective of who is this beautiful blonde haired bombshell that's on the video. [00:01:58] Who is this crazy lady. That's right. The crazy lady. Yes I am completely passionate about what it is that I do mostly passionate about people but all things marketing in fact I am obsessed. And one of my sellers recently said that you are totally obsessed with this. Yes I am. So I've been selling for I've been in the real estate business for 22 years and for the past 10 years really 10 to 13 years I have been training coaching and mentoring agents and even providing marketing services for real estate agents that have huge businesses. So as much success as I had when I sold the first time around my clients hundreds of clients that I've had throughout the years have had far far greater success at sales and building teams than I even did. And so so much fun. I get to see all of the research that we've poured into their businesses and what works what doesn't work. And recently I was invited to be a national trainer for a XP Realty and jumped in love the company so much and I've worked with all kinds of companies and all kinds of companies here in Birmingham and I live in Birmingham and work from home but I'm also across the country have worked with many different real estate companies. [00:03:29] When I saw the power of this land I mean I jumped in full fully committed and laughed all along one to one clients to pursue this. So it is pretty much a big deal. Did that just really two months ago. So it's new. I am selling again and I'm also I've put all of my whole years coaching into an eight week program that is group. We do at Facebook and a secret group and I love it. [00:04:01] I'm loving life right now so that's exciting to pull you out of coaching and back into real estate. [00:04:08] That says a lot because I've been for you are I've been in sales I've been in training I've been creating systems and I'm often tempted to to jump back in so that that says a lot. That's pretty exciting. [00:04:22] It is exciting but I feel like I've got the best training to see what other agents made successful. I'm heading in to practice so I feel like a lot of those like we were saying no shortcuts. I have this time around and what when you introduce the podcast about how to get sellers you know calling you more. That's the whole goal. That is it. That is the whole goal. And yesterday I mean I had a full day's work in front bothersome and had a listing appointment late in the evening want Erin to the House eight thirty nine ish but my phone rang the entire time from the time I got out of the listing appointment until I got home with other sellers calling me and walked in and said I'm not sure if I can keep at this pace my husband said but this is the dream and really it's it's happened in only two months. So I definitely have found a couple things that surely work and I can't wait to implement more. I've just been busy. [00:05:29] Well you know so you've now created all this huge interest. [00:05:33] What in the world are you doing that in to has got your phone ringing off the hook with sellers so. What's that. What does a super super super secret. I'm taking notes right now. [00:05:45] Well you're going to laugh at me at first because through the years you know I'm a huge fan and you've heard me say this over and over the people that are going to help you the quickest reach your goals or the ones you already know love and trust and they know love and trust you. [00:06:00] So I am a database database database person so I haven't been in sales for quite some time through the years. If one of my clients said I have a buyer who's looking for a house like this I would say Oh I sold a house you know to so and so and so and so you know seven years ago give them a call and see if they wouldn't sell. So I had given out my sphere of influence and my past clients and my database to other people for all of these years I look good. And it's time for me to have my own gate again to reach out and I have about 40 people and that was stretching it because my sphere of influence are real estate agents. That is where I have been and all my love and attention has been there for all of these years. And you can't go back and be a jerk and say Hey remember when I gave you that client I need it back and relationships don't work that way. [00:07:00] So that's funny. So you gave away your business. Now you're trying to get back in so. So still. Well let me make one quick comment because I heard something a moment ago. So this is an Internet interview. [00:07:12] So if there is some degradation of the video the audio I just know we're doing it over the Internet. So you go. So you've only got a list of 40 people right now where have you expanded that. Probably interrupted you where you're going oh no you're totally fine. [00:07:27] Again please just stop for a second. So yes I have about 40 people I have not expanded that match but what's funny is that people who know love and trust me are the same that I've had in the coaching business and they are my referral partners they're my lenders they are my stager they are the people that sponsor my events and because I've always made sure to give give give give give to them they have given to me. And when I have reached out there they are ready trust me. So I am working with a lot of their friends family clients relatives their sphere of influence. So the very first thing that I had to do was to get back in announcing that I'm in real estate. So one letter that SNL announcing I got two referrals off of it out of 40 people actually had an event where 12 people came was all and. But having a so I can only invite 20. And it was a very small intimate event for ladies that we build baths bombs together. [00:08:41] And it was called You're the bomb that bomb party. So. That was fun. But getting face time back with people again and letting them know that I'm here to help them in real estate. And it didn't hurt that a very first listing that I took which was also a referral from someone that works with get a real estate line. He is not social media. [00:09:05] Npr marketing person at his best friend needed to get his household. He was relocating to Seattle. And you know I had to interview with him. I had to interview with the guy who works with me right because he hasn't seen me in this arena. He's only seen me helping other agents and had interview with mom and with Dad. Once they they were comfortable I ended up selling that house in just a few hours. And so having the success from that I can take. And I had those conversations with other people. [00:09:40] So. So tell me now so you've got some great relationships with. [00:09:44] I'll call him vendor type relationships in the industry. But if if I'm not a new agent but maybe a new agent but if I'm a typical agent I may not have quite the strong relationships there. You know what is. As a coach for the last 10 or ten years of abuse. Have you seen as you have seen these these large agents really start to grow. What are some of the things that you have found to be most effective in growing your business. [00:10:17] As a brand new agent in fact I'm a mentor XP to brand new agents that have closed less than one that joined the company. So I am with them helping them get and production. We have to start with zero. We have to start with the first thing. So of course naturally the first thing I'm going to tell them to do is exactly what I just did. You have to get a list of people who know love and trust you. And that is the first step. The goal is to get to 150. So I'm working on getting to 150. I've had to be very intentional on going out and meeting new people in the community that are connectors. For instance I started a radio show specifically about the area that I live in and target and work. It's called Life along 280 in Chelsea and because of that high reach it allows me to promote other small businesses that are also in that area from there and building great relationships. And I am working with connectors the mayor of Chelsea was one of my first guests and so he's someone that I need to know that he needs to know me and the value that I bring. So I work with these brand new agents and tell them we've got to start there. We've got to start with the people who know love and trust you then we want to move into how do we meet the connectors that are going to make a difference. Quickly right. Has we. If we don't have a quick start. People will get very very discouraged. [00:11:54] You know you're preaching my song because I love working with the personal list. [00:12:02] So in terms of building that list any any inside secrets of things on how to make it easier because here's something real interesting and you'll probably you won't get a kick out of it but you'll I'm sure you will recognize this validity know as we work with other clients and really strong producing agents all. So how many people do you have in your past clients sphere of influence and other people you know list and they'll go maybe 50 and something. Hold on you do 15 million a year and you only got 50 so what are some things that if if I want to build that list out. OK. So this actually a two to four question for why is it so important. And the easiest way to build it out. [00:12:47] Ok. So if people and the list is so important because again these are the people that trust you. So they're going to be more likely to refer you but you have to train these people to be your foot soldiers. They're not just going to know what to do. They have to be taught and trained what services you bring to the table how you can help and how they will not be ashamed or embarrassed to refer you because my husband actually he's a homebuilder and he has gotten to the point where he's like I'm not gaming out any names because people do a great job for me and then they don't show it for other people. It makes me look bad. So we don't want that. We want to train people to feel confident that they are giving the right choice because people do worry about that. You know they want to make sure we all want to look like heroes. So we want to look like a hero when we give someone's name. We want our guy to win because they're the best guy. Right. So it's so important because of that. When you teach them how to fight for passing your name along or getting people to actually work as a sales part of your team an unpaid sales part of your say. [00:14:02] How do you do that. How do you how do you train them how do you get them over and overcoming that fear that being a shame. Sure. Like you're your husband you know I'm not going to stop giving out referrals because they are you know they never go anywhere or or it comes back to me negative. [00:14:19] So how do you do that. [00:14:21] Well you have to keep the person who referred you completely updated at all times just had this conversation just want you to know I've gotten this this and this Don just want you know for instance I had someone that like a mentor relationship like you were singing send me a one of her really close friends if I'm hundred and or five hundred plus thousand our house to put on the market it goes love this week and it had been on the market previously with a different agent. That's a fantastic agent an agent that I've worked with. That I led. And this is actually happening to me over and over and over and over again. And it's I'm not I'm not sure if I'm handling it well but I'm doing that to try to make sure that I stay respectful. However she has been sending me updates. He said that you've done this and you've done that and you've done this. And let me just tell you it's a breath of fresh air and he's so happy he's told everyone here and this and this and this and this. So it's really keeping that person in the process and letting them know that you are working that you didn't abandon it. That they you're doing everything to make them look good. [00:15:33] You know that that's really interesting I was interviewing another agent recently he's. I don't know. [00:15:39] Probably 20 million in volume. The cool thing is he he works maybe 30 40 hours a week or less. And one of the his big pet peeves is this whole communication channel. But you're taking it to an interesting level because his focus is always stay in communication with the seller with your client. But you're saying at the same time you're stay in communication with your referring person at the same degree you would be doing it with one of your clients. [00:16:07] Yes. Now you have to fill that out just like you do with any relationship. Some people are not going to want to hear it. They're like Okay great yeah I know you're mean. It's rough. But especially to jumping back in. And I've been extremely nervous because I have been helping other people for so long. I know that everybody is just like waiting right waiting to say Oh yes. She thought she knew everything. And I feel the pressure of that of course. So that extra confidence is important to me and I am overdoing it right now. I'll probably chill out a little bit later but I can tell you that it's working. And it is constantly making her think of new people to send to me. [00:16:56] So let me let me go back to a little bit. So these are the things that you're doing right now. [00:17:01] Once you've gotten the referral you mentioned about training people to be your foot soldiers and to not be ashamed of referring to is the not being ashamed or referring to is it does that only come once they refer you and then you make them shine or is there anything you can do ahead of time. So it's like if I were an agent and I knew your husband and you weren't in real estate OK. And anything I can do to kind of help him not be ashamed to referring me. I mean how do you how do you do it on the front end or is it always on the back in. [00:17:35] Well I think you solidify on the back end for that next one but when someone's nervous on the front end I mean you have to be able to provide your value you have to show why you're different. You know what is it about you wash your hair are you going to better be very clear. So we have personal brochures that lists out you know 10 or 11 things. Let me just make it easy for you. Why hire extra living at XP Birmingham. That is our whole branding as selling. And I've got it listed out clearly. You don't have to think about it. These are just the bullet points and this is why. And these are testimonials from vendors. These are testimonials from the client that was sold their house and you know a few hours. These are testimonials from people that I've sold houses for over and over and over again and it's all in there because you have to have a confidence level if you are brand new. You can still have testimonials and you can have testimonials about your work ethic about who you are as a person about the unique things that really stand out. You still have 10 reasons 10 beautiful reasons that will be different from everyone else to hire you specifically. [00:18:48] Ok cool. So the second question I want to understand because I run into this a lot. [00:18:54] You know people say you know I've only got 40 or 50 people on my list and you want them to get to 150. How do you get there. You know do I really know that many people. What have you found any seekers to try to get to start going that list up yes. [00:19:13] Actually I've got a great shortcut and that is and I'm happy to share it with anyone. And Betty if you want and you know people will contact you about this. I do have Michael Myers 7 all memory jogger and he is the author of seven levels of communication is just something that I use he gives me permission to use it as long as I mentioned his name. And it's been a huge part of what I do since the day that I met him because it really prompts you do that and bank teller that always knows your name that you may not have stopped to learn their name. But think about how many people there in front of all day long. And I can tell you when I was in Mississippi selling the bank tellers helped me out so much because I went by every other day to see them and make my rounds around town. And I remember one bank teller telling me one day I came in to bring fliers of the newest listings so that they would know that I had for sale and this girl said to me I'd been waiting for you to get here all day. I spoke to this woman she's ready to put her house on the market and I said she has to speak to you. And and that's super important. I mean we want to target and make sure that we have people who cut hair. Think of how many people there in front of every day a week. Think of the PTA president. How would a leadership role that they are in and how many people that they speak to everyday. That small group leader at church. Do you know I have a client that you can trace back almost every bit of his business to church. Really. Yes. And that's very powerful. So you know people always joke and say Gaza I'm doing the wrong one. And you probably didn't. You're probably just not being visible with your values. [00:21:00] So when you talk about looking for people who are connectors These are the people you're talking about those people who are at least this is what I'm interpreting right now. [00:21:10] Now the teller the hairdresser the PTO president the small group leaders those people here and in groups of people as opposed to that person you think well I think this person can connect me to their own personal friends. You're looking for those are in the marketplace with lots of people. [00:21:28] Yes that's exactly it. And sometimes to you have to prompt and. You can't just hear a lot of people say as long as you live on people let them know you're there they'll send you business that is not true. You to ask for the business. Now you don't have to ask for it and a rude aggressive way. Or assume that you're going to get it through language. [00:21:52] You will want to always say that you are happy to help. And you know making sure that you make the comment to refer. I can always handle it. And here's the here's the here's the magic question that I like to use Here's the script that I want people to use at least 10 times a day with new people they haven't met yet. And you can set it up anywhere you want to and your style. But this is it works and and you are all about research so you'll like the research behind this. And you've probably heard me say it before but set it up any way you want to and I'm going to set it up and then I'll share it with you the piece of it. The magic. So they don't know if you know what's going on in the real estate market right now. It's a crazy shortage. I've had buyers calling and calling and calling. There's just nothing we've exhausted everything in MLS right now. And I just want really good people to be able to take advantage of this appreciating market and the seller shortage that we have. I'm desperate though to help these people. What three people do you know that need to sell a house in the next 60 days I like that line. That is what I mean. And I made it my style my natural style. I added in the sense of urgency I added in my passion for helping people. It's not sales. It is I am desperate for your help. [00:23:17] And that reminds me. I don't know if you know I won't mention his name just in case but he's an agent here in town a friend of mine. [00:23:25] His name is Rob and he was telling me of it's really funny because you know sometimes the real travel hit on a goldmine and they don't even know it. So he had a friend that wanted to buy a house in the certain area. He couldn't find one. So Rob wrote a letter that says I have a client he's working in this area. He can't find a house if you're interested in selling could you please call me and so you put it in these all these mailboxes. He said I picked up two or three listings. None of them were the ones that my my client wanted. And I said Rob did you do it again. You said right. Yeah I know. [00:24:04] We actually have a letter that for our patient clients that is already written that has had success time and time and time again for reverse prospecting. That exact way. And yes I had one client pick up two listings in one neighborhood for that and actually sold it to the people that he was working with the buyer that he was working with. So that absolutely does work. And no because it works agents normally don't do it again. [00:24:32] They just kept. [00:24:33] Hey I've got to come back to one of these things. [00:24:36] So because the personal list is so valuable your group of 40 has been ringing your phone off the hook basically. Yes. Talk to me if you were just to list off the top of your head. Who are those connector type roles so that people on this call they can start to make a list of people that fit those roles. Who would they be. [00:25:00] So a lot of times it's going to be your lenders that have leadership roles they're going to be in front of a lot of people. It's going to be your PTA presidents it's going to be your little league coaches and coaches even high school little league baseball football basketball have so much influence. And parents just want a piece of them. And those are really good people to have in your world. I know nothing about sports that would be ridiculously phony of make to add those people into my world. All right introductions are important. So using the triangle and trust and Michael also states that in his book is very important so if you are meeting with someone that you feel is a connector then you want to ask them. I'm out here really trying to get to know people in the community so that I can help people buy here sale here. Who do you recommend that and meet right away and that way you will get a couple of names and then you say would you mind calling them and introducing me so that I'm not calling colorfully and if you start getting into other people insurance salesman just think about how many people they know. And oftentimes we forget to market to them. It doesn't matter if they already have a real estate agent you're just wanting to go in and find a way you can help that person and they will figure out how to get you a referral. They may never use you. It doesn't matter it doesn't matter. Show your value and they will have people that aren't connected to an agent come your way. [00:26:54] I love that. So now we've got this list built. OK so I've got my list of 150 or 200 or more. [00:27:02] What do I do next. How do I maximize driving consistent business from that list. [00:27:09] And you got one you've got to communicate right. And then you have to do it often. You have to be so visible these days it's not something that you're going to send out once a month or once a quarter. And agents are terrible about will I send out one Christmas card every year you're going to be lost in the shuffle and you're never going to be heard of again because you're not visible in their role and you want to make sure that people know that you care about them. If they only hear from you one time a year when it's expected at Christmas. That's not a whole lot of care and that's not a whole lot of concern. And really it's all about you. So a couple of things to you don't want to get into the fallacy of well that didn't work. I sent it out four times and nobody called me. When you have to have the right message and you have to be very very consistent I find that you better be sending you know at least 30 at least 30 touches to your clients and it doesn't have to be money. But it's much one on one personal attention as you can give is where you're going to get the most value. [00:28:20] So tell me. So we've got to communicate. First off I immediately think OK. Does that mean I'm texting them. Does that mean I'm sending them an e-mail calling them. [00:28:31] What what do you find. And I'm sure it's probably a mixture of all that but I also say yes. [00:28:37] Yeah. OK. OK. So what do I say. What do I do. I've got this list too I just started dialing them and saying hey you know it's good to talk to you and you know let me check it off and go to the next one or help. [00:28:51] How can you guide me. What I say on that because I get this all the time with agents. [00:28:56] You do. I absolutely do. And you have a great system in place for helping people do that as well. If for some reason you want to try to do this on your own. And if you're very busy it is going to be overwhelming. So it's great to have some personal resources to help out because you won't be consistent. And then when you're not consistent you're going to have those peaks and valleys peaks and valleys peaks and valleys and you need something working behind you as you're in appointments all day long because you can't do it all. You can't be personal to 500 people at one time. It's very difficult to handle that because it snowballs. The reason we won't 150 I want to make sure to give the science behind that as well is because one hundred and fifty people in your sphere of influence communicated with on a regular basis will produce it's proven all the numbers have been done. All the statistics come in over and over and over again 30 sales for you per year at one hundred and fifty thousand average sales price will get you on your six figures. And that is truly the path to take it. So I like a combination of things. And some of the things that I'll do is I'll just sit there and text people and I don't do it in a group. Some things are good for Gary and I use it for anything that I have for free. I'll share it with you. I use an app called group text and it's free. I think they may charge just a little bit to download it now but whenever they respond it'll come just to you and it won't come back to the group. Do not ever send a group message to everyone how embarrassing and unprofessional is that. Yes. And I had agents do that to me all the time. Somebody sent me the other day a great message because I'm a part of a condo complex and somebody responded I thought she was talking to me and I was like I'm so sorry you're not on my contact list to worry. [00:30:52] Oh my gosh this embarrassing. [00:30:57] I will just sit down if I have free time and go Hey how's it going. What's going on in your world. You always want to make everything about them. It's not about you it's it's it's about them until you have an opportunity or it to be about you and asking back most of the time when you're about other people they will ask you what they can do to help you. So I had one of my really good friends ask the other day if I would buy a sign for the ball field and baby my child was at that ball field from the time he was four years old up until the time he was 18 he played baseball all those years and he was on the high school team and her child was on the high school team and it was time to sell signs and I said Yes get me some referrals. I mean seriously I could say that right. And of course we have a connection and she laughed at me. She's like You can't think of anybody right now and I'm like No there's somebody. That ball field right now because she was at a work day at the ball field that is thinking about meeting. Go ask him. She came back and she's like oh my gosh so-and-so I was moving as soon as graduation happens they're going to Florida blah blah blah. And then she was like This is their address. This is their contact number. And then a few minutes later she goes oh so I said they were. Right. And so she gave me two great leads just by doing that. You can't get away with that with everyone. [00:32:24] She's one of my really good friends. But she asked me for five hundred dollars it would be right to ask back a percent then that could potentially pay me back for that in a nice and in a great way. So when you start with personalization like that the events are a great thing. I have lots of clients do you maybe and that's where they'll have three here. Seventy five people show up and I will watch the referrals or and from that because we have to prompt people to refer you to an event. You don't want them just come in soaking up everything and leave and you do you want to have a great time but we have referral cards that we'll put out in each one of the seats. With the magic question on it what three people do you know and we give you more lines than three and they'll. They'll bring them out. I'll watch it pour out of the seats and turn those in. So anytime you can provide fun and value for people the other things of course are going to be a mixture of maybe some greeting cards some emails does not need to be listing after listing after listing if you do take a listing that you want to share you can email that to everyone in bed something about that house in that email. We use MailChimp it's free and you can send that out and say in the subject line please please share this with someone who. And then describe who that person is that's perfect for that neighborhood or for that house itself so that you can get some shares out of it. [00:33:59] Because you're asking for interaction you're asking for help. It's not Roma. Look at me I did this. Look at me I did that. You're gonna put that in and you're gonna sprinkle it in. Because you want your success stories there because you want that confidence to refer that that just gives you some sense some good ideas there and there are lots lots more and you can do newsletters are a great thing to do. [00:34:21] You just need a mixture not don't hammer people with emails costly they don't have value you know this is interesting because what it sells like is and I know it is you're taking a very deliberate approach to nurturing the list you're in your free time you're just taxing little personal messages you're doing the maybe events you're doing these events over here sending something to Melcher you're just always there but it's really deliberate. So it sounds overwhelming. [00:34:51] How do you how do you systematized How do you how do you structure it so that it doesn't fall through the cracks and you're up and down and up and down like you were talking about earlier well the best way is to plan out everything that you're going to do for the whole year and schedule it so then you can have a really good feel for when you need to have things ready. Now working with agents for many many years we did that with custom marketing plans. And it is very difficult to get their approval and okay. And then the time lapses so it can be a struggle but just sitting down and then reviewing it once a quarter we said we were going to do this winter our deadlines to have it ready. When do we need to approve it. When is it going out. It doesn't have to be completely written some of your greeting cards can be and some of your events can be some of your calls and text messages can be planned but you can kind of like the e-mails you know find what your topics are going to be it's got to be value. So it's either what's happening around town this week are here's some money saving things you can do for this week you know ways that you can give back. So it's not all real estate real estate middle estate and you can be flexible with the messages and those that are getting a good topic and those things will help you get it done. But you know what my real answer is is just call you and you can take care. [00:36:17] Yes. [00:36:18] Well we'll put it in an unabashed plug at them at the end. [00:36:25] I mean I know I've done this job for many years just get someone else to do it. [00:36:29] It's you know it's what's really funny. Not to plug guys but just to springboard off of that. [00:36:37] When as we started working with a lot of agents across the country one of the thing the common theme people people said they did business with us is because they don't know what they're doing number one or number two they just need something that's automated because they captured. They keep trying. And it falls flat and then they forget to do it and they just want something consistent and there's a lot to be said on that. I want to shift topics a little bit and go off at an angle real quickly because before the call started you know we're talking about your Christian faith. And talk to me in terms of how how does that influence what you do as a realtor and and how do you kind of apply it as a realtor then or does it make an impact at all. [00:37:26] Yes actually it does today. It hasn't always and I'll be extremely honest about where I've been with all of this. I was raised in a household that I wasn't allowed to go to church. My dad was Catholic and my mother was Southern Baptist. And they didn't see the need for choosing and deciding and pitting us. There were certain path and I believe that my mother had a lot of scars from religion from the whole deal so it wasn't talked about. It wasn't. I just didn't believe because there was nothing for me to believe. I wasn't compelled by anything I've had different people reach out to me throughout the years though. I had one man that I was a bat girl for the baseball team when I was in high school and he was had some mental issues but he was so faithful he was so faithful. And for my 16th birthday he just prayed for me all the time he bought me saved his money bought me a Bible that had my name engraved on it and it I mean it was really so special. But I am stubborn that didn't move me much. It moved me because he thought so much of me to do that. But now looking back I see where that came from. You know that was just trying to soften me up and listen and I did. I just kept doing my own thing. [00:39:00] And it really is not until the past few years that I have recognized and realized and become a strong believer and dedicated my business to Christ and pray every day that his grace shines through me and his light shines through me for every person that I meet. Not for a gain but just that they see you know that I am a light of his. And now I think I've shared with you. I am actually on a core group for a church planet here in my town of Chelsea so we've come a long way with all this is a long way. [00:39:43] So. So as a Christian you want to really just kind of live out your faith as a real estate agent. OK. Is there anything so you pray about it in the morning. OK. And pray for your business. How else do you use your faith. How else do you live it. [00:40:03] When I say I had my long prayer book but it's never there it usually sits right here and I write my prayers out every day and dedicate my business to Christ. And you know I am just now getting into learning more about tithing and what that means and the commitment of that and being faithful to that because I've always done offerings instead and found someone that I needed to help and poured my love my money and my energy into them. And I'm still doing that. I'm helping a friend right now doing everything she can to get her out of foreclosure so that she can stay in the house with her two special needs sons. That's my number one mission right now. It's so. And don't get me wrong please baby. I am the biggest potty mouth. I am such a center. And it's just amazing that we have that love and grace through Christ that we get redeemed every day. So I don't take that lightly and it means a lot to me and I try to make all my decisions based on what is good for others. [00:41:23] So let let me maybe moving off a business platform a little bit Anderson personally in terms of your relationship with Christ if you were just kind of sum it up put it means to you and and how it's impacted you can you just kind of share some candid thoughts on that yes I can and I can articulate many things. [00:41:50] This is harder to articulate I feel because it's so powerful it is so much bigger than who we are what we do for a living. You know I strongly feel like we are here to make a difference and to show love through everything that is that we do. That doesn't mean I don't get frustrated that I don't get angry that I'm not the biggest road rage there. But to step back from that and say hey my duty is to make sure that I show grace and love through everything that it is that I do. So I feel like that's what it means to me. I found a way through a lady that worked for me for years who I adore found a Bible study and we were actually doing it in our office and inviting all the business partners to and coaching clients to come and take part in it. And it just completely blew me away and moved me that we we did part two as well and now she has a new book out and she lives here in town and it is she's so smart and intelligent she knows all the Hebrew she knows Greek she knows every interpretation of every word and it made so much sense to me when I started learning through Tricia what Grace really means. And she had an encounter also with Christ. It's just so touching and to me it's completely changed my perspective my outlook it's really changed how I feel and see the world and see you know my love for Christ. [00:43:34] So the outlook that's changed. OK so let's talk about perspective. [00:43:37] Let's go backwards in time to that point before that bible study or before things really started to take off with just your faith and understanding this measure of grace and compare it here versus here where you are now. What's the perspective that's changed. And how does it change your life. [00:44:00] Well for one I decided to just surrender and dark trying to control everything on my own because I am not good at that. [00:44:15] I me I'm not and let myself you know do what I can to go down the path that has already been laid out for me instead of me trying to control every path and because last year was complete proof to me that I do not know do not make the best decisions and a really tough year last year. And nothing. Nothing bad but it's not ideal. And just since I had done that this year based on those beliefs that I learned I learned logically on through Tricia's teachings and really digging in to all the studies of grace. Honest just so powerful my perspective today is just let it go and let God let it go. [00:45:13] Let it go and just amazing to me that opportunities come in everywhere. I said to Zach who works with me and I said to my husband they yesterday said God is telling me he wants to pay me from every single direction. If I just stay faithful that he's got this Kiva because yesterday I had a stellar after stellar after stellar call I had a listing appointment I had new agents joining XP with me and I had a speaking engagements. And it just rang off the hook yesterday and it's like what are you even worried about. [00:45:52] Well that's so true you know and you know the Lord really does take care of everything. [00:45:57] I'm going to blow your mind on one part so you know it says in the Bible that he prepared beforehand all of the good works and so all of the things that we're struggling with that we're worrying about. The Lord has already made provision for them is just a matter of trusting him to deliver that provision. Does that make sense. Yeah absolutely it does. One of the things that I find in terms of receiving that I think it's sore. I think it's in mark the passage of because there are several passages in the Gospel where Peter is walking on the water and apologize my light just went out the above one of them is the passage it's a little bit more in long gated and it says that he steps out of the boat and he starts walking on the water. And as soon as he takes his eyes off of Jesus and puts his eyes on the wind and on the natural he becomes afraid and he sings and Jesus reaches out and grab him and says you a little faith. Why did you doubt and here's the thing that's been so remarkable for me on that is we see the same situations where like a little laboratory Okay we have walking by the spirit walking by the flesh the identical situation but two completely different outcomes based entirely where you put your focus. And when we get in those tough times and we put our focus on ourself and on the situation it seems like we just keep dropping down further and further and getting tougher and tougher times. But once we put our eyes on the Lord and trust him and provision then it seems like everything starts to calm out and and work. Does that make sense. [00:47:39] Absolutely I see it completely. See it in other people's lives all the time and it's always easier to see other people's blessings or other people's gaps more so than ours. That yesterday it was a perfect example of being showered with gifts and knowing that you actually are walking the right path. [00:48:03] So for me it's so true. We're getting close to the time of wrapping up. [00:48:09] Is there anything else that you would like to share anything that we've talked about. Anything from business from personal. Anything else before we start to wrap up. [00:48:21] Yeah. Two things really. And when I did not mention one of the other things that I've had to do to build my sphere of influence and that call expired listings. And that's been fun for me. When the very first phone call I made my hand was shaking like this. [00:48:39] No I understand. [00:48:40] Yep. I just haven't done it in so long and so I had one of my clients who I adore and she's at peace with me. She made her come to the house and sit in front of me and she made calls I made calls you make calls I made calls because I knew that I wouldn't do it and I would find every excuse not to do it. If she wasn't here making me and I was doing it I was making excuses while she was here. I need to research it. Now you don't you just need to call him and I want to see what it looks like. No you just need a call. I said well if I say this and she goes you tell us what to say every day. I said You're right. And I made the phone call and the heart was just pounding. He probably heard it on the voicemail. It went to voicemail and I left a message and said you know. I don't know if that's going to work but I'm gonna give it another push. So I went over to the house and I left. I wrote a letter about a recent real estate transaction that I was involved in and that was kind of similar to what I saw with with his house and a laugh on those big popcorn turns with the letter by his door and didn't hear anything. And a few days later he called and he said we just had the best voice mail for me. We loved it. Your voicemail was the best. Your letter was the best and oh my God I wanted one of those popcorn tins for Christmas and didn't buy one. [00:50:10] I love it and it's five dollars right. And he said you have to come over. [00:50:16] You have to remember they loved everything I said until we got to the price. And I'm just gonna be honest with people I'm just not going to be one of those. I'm going to list you for this and try to get you down later because rarely does that work out. So I did crush their spirits but it was a house that had been on the market three different times and didn't have one showing so I had to be completely honest. But it made me feel good because the very first then called going back and I got the appointment. And that's what we need every single time we have to have appointments nuclear appointments or what feeds us. And I am super hyper focused on that listing appointment. The buyers will come they will show what they will come out of the woodwork. They will call on your signs. They will call from your Internet presence. They will call from your Facebook presence. Don't worry about chasing the buyers. They will show up in your world find the listings that you can help. And so the second thing I wanted to say was is that one of my clients who came to me years and years and years ago he had he was worn out worn out and he had closed 60 transactions and he said I want to do more but I cannot work on that a minute. [00:51:29] And that was because he was working all the buyers and I said we've got to shift you to a listing agent. And he asked What's ideal what what would you want to. What's the area you would want to own. And he gave me a city and he said never sold anything in that city. I said doesn't matter. I don't know about you yet. And that's when I called you and I introduced you to him and put your plan for direct mail in place and it seriously was crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets. Oh my gosh did we stop it. No I think you should hang in there than me go in. Oh my gosh I don't know. Now he would say no let's keep going. And it was almost overnight success after the 12th month because what we were saying about the research before it takes so many times to train foot soldiers these people don't know you and to be visible. It takes that consistency over a length of time and nobody wakes up today and says oh my gosh baby I want to sell my house today. [00:52:32] You know that's so true. I want to go back to the first of the last comments you made. [00:52:39] Cold calling because I think it's so typical of what happens is we get scared to pick up the phone and it's that fear this inside our brain has nothing to do with reality. OK right. Oh yeah. You know in fact I heard someone say that what you believed to be true becomes your reality. So yes we just get scared of it. But I love. I think there are three takeaways that I get out of that no one. You're doing what you have to do. It's uncomfortable but you're going to pick up that phone and doing I love the fact that you got a friend and you say hold me accountable. [00:53:15] Ok. Hi it's me in the face right. That's right. You're my accountability partner. [00:53:21] You know if I if my wife and I got off tangent but on tap on on target my wife and I will go play tennis and we're just easy social tennis players. And I'm not out there very aggressively. But then we say OK let's make a let's make a deal on who wins and what's going to happen. And then I don't give up. So you know you sometimes you just have to make that happen. I'm sorry. I love that. The other thing I loved is that you didn't stop at the voicemail but you took a handwritten note and a gift. And as soon as you mentioned that I thought back on one of my other clients that for every listening appointment he drops off some information about himself and a gift before his listing appointment. And frequently if he's in a comfort competitive environment you'll always get the listing. And almost every time that a homeowner will lean over and say something like you know the gift got to the deal. And so you can't underestimate just that 10 a popcorn of whatever you do just as a nice gesture. [00:54:25] You're right. Well as it's stands now it's another thing to say your business means so much to me I went to this little bit of extra effort and that's why I named the branding for selling extra living. Not only have extra but that we make an extra effort because so few people make extra efforts or effort at all. So I don't want to say that I provide service. I want to show you. And that's just a way to prove that you are providing value and you're willing to do what it takes to help someone out. [00:55:02] I love that. So I said earlier where we're trying to close off and I think that was maybe 10 or 15 minutes ago. So I keep getting I kept getting sucked in because it's so much fun talking with you. [00:55:14] But we do have to close has to be sensitive to our listeners out there but now I don't know are you. Yes I know so you're training with the expert you're doing your own production. If if if someone if someone wants your help. Is there a way I mean are you still doing anything in the coaching ranks. OK tell me a little bit about that and how people can engage with you can contact you learn more. What what's that. How to do it. How did they do that. [00:55:44] Sir we and very active on Facebook and we have a fairly large following on Facebook and get a real estate line. That's the name of the coaching company that I have. Get a real estate life because we help people actually get a real estate line. And you can look it up on Facebook or you can go to get a real estate life dot com. I have baby what's called six figure intensity and it is what it says. It's six feet your intensity it is the path I've taken a whole year of one on one coaching and put it in 16 sessions that last for eight weeks. So it's two sessions a week for eight weeks and we do it in a private group on Facebook and it is examples it's materials it is heavy. How to use what to do every single day to fill your calendar at all based on mastic speed your day a point system that I created years ago to ensure that you aren't fooling yourself and you're actually being productive. I'll give you my cell number. It's 2 0 5 2 2 3 1 0 4 4 and text is normally the fastest way but I can tell you my phone's been blowing I have about three hundred and nineteen text messages I have to answer today so it still is the fastest way for me to get back with you and I'd love to meet you if you just want to chat and let me just saw photo personal endorsement for Genny on that she really does a great job a lot of the top producers here in our city they've been coaching with her and that's one of the reasons they are top producers so let me really strongly encourage you to do that. [00:57:28] So we ought to wrap up but if you do like this podcast I guess Heller is calling you. Be sure to subscribe to it. Be sure to like it if you're on iTunes or Stitcher or doing watching it on YouTube. And we've just been able to share some some great stuff with you. Genny thank you so much for your time and thank you for sharing your life. [00:57:47] Thank you so much for allowing me to be here. Always on chat with you. [00:57:52] I do too. I do too. We all have a great day. [00:57:54] And thank and then let me start to record. [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container] !function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s) {if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)}; if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0'; n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script', 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '2169469429763697'); fbq('track', 'PageView');

Rob:           All right well, welcome to our Becoming Your Best podcast listeners wherever you are in the world today. I have a person that we're gonna talk with today who I consider to be one of the most amazing people I've ever met and you'll quickly realize that and as you start to listen to some of his stories and hear some of the background and a little bit about Randy. But let me introduce Randy because, I don't say that lightly when I say he's one of the the most respected people I know and not just by me but might many many other people who I know, that says a lot about Randy. He started out as a student body president at Ricks and while he was there I said, “You know Randy, is there anything you haven't done?” Because he's done all these things and he looked at his phone and he showed me this picture of him riding a bull while he was in college. Not only was he study body president, he did some bull riding while he was there, which immediately my respect level went through the roof for him when I saw that. He went on to the Harvard OPM Program. He starred and sold several businesses very successfully. He has six children, a beautiful wife who's amazing in her own right. One of the things that stands out to me most about Randy, amongst all his success’ and all the people he knows, he's probably the most connected person I've ever met. The thing that really stands out the most about Randy is his impeccable character and honestly, he genuinely cares about other people and helping them succeed and that's one of the reasons I believe Randy has been so successful himself is because he wants to see other succeed and he comes across very genuine people realize that he's very sincere in what he does. So without further ado, one the most successful people I know and down to earth, just loving, kind people; Randy Garn!   Randy:       Well, thank you Rob! I really really appreciate you saying those kind words and I feel the same about you and what you and your dad have built with BYB and the whole leadership thing is so critical in everybody in all facets of our lives and so I'm learning to be a great student of yours.     Rob:           Yeah, well that goes both ways! It’s always hard too, when someone introduces you and says all these amazing things, it’s like what do you say after that? But Randy really is amazing! Do you think, Randy, if you wouldn't mind just giving them a brief background on you that I didn't cover? You know, where you're from, a little bit about you, anything that you think would be valuable for someone to know?   Randy:       Yeah, I think it is important to know where we've come from and you know, I grew up in a really small town called Sugar City, Idaho. You know, when I left I think there's 1150 people there after I left. And I mean it was just an amazing place and I'll get back to that. Why I think our roots and the way we are raised, and the way we're raising our children are so critical for the people that we become, and especially with character and integrity and in leadership. And so I grew up and and my dad was a high school football coach for 29  years. He's going into medicine and then you know he had these four boys and he's like, “Man I'm gonna buy a ranch and I'm gonna be a football coach. I'm gonna teach my kids how to work.” So I mean he sacrificed on what he could have done but he wouldn't give it up to the world and so you know, I grew up in a really fun environment. It's so funny when I meet a lot of leaders, they’re like, “You know my parents abused me,” or you know, “I was in some serious trauma,” or other things happen and that makes people great. You know when they can overcome those things, but I was actually fortunate enough to be led by a really,  really good man that told me that I could do anything I wanted in life and actually mentored me and stuck with me the whole time. And so, somebody that I love and admire and he's still alive today and I respect him and he still gives me a quote every night and how he help build me up every night and so that was some of my roots was growing up in that type of environment.   Rob:           Did I hear you right to say that you either rode a tractor or a truck or something and he would always be playing these tapes of some these greats?   Randy:       Yeah. In fact, we had about, you know it was about a twenty minute ride out to our ranch where we you know we raise cattle and horses. And so, we had about 300 head of cattle and we had 50 horses at one time so I mean it wasn't a huge ranch but it was a ton of fun and we would listen to Denis Waitley and Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar and The Strangest Secret from Nightingale and that’s some of the things that I’d listen to and then he'd mentor me. We're out there fixing fences and all that and he’d talk about it. You know, we grew up in kind of a family to where we are God fearing and we literally would say family prayers at night and then put it in and everybody in, ready? Break! Go Garns! And so it was just fun. It was a good time, so yeah we listened to a lot of the classics and you and I did a call with Denis a couple of days ago and he's a great man, but that's some of the things I grew up on.   Rob:           Yeah, and the irony is all these very people who you grew up listening to now, you become very close friends to them. In many cases ,helping mentor them as it goes both directions and ironic how you know that fate aligned that way. Speaking of this, interestingly, we were just with the group today and was talking about estate planning and one of the things was mentioned was often times we think about estate planning as it's just financial. You know, here's what happens to your finances. This particular person leading the discussion was saying, you know what? It's so much more that! It's a legacy that you're leaving. It's a legacy of character. It's a legacy of what you're teaching your children and in so many ways it sounds like you're such a product of what your parents created for you in the environment.   Randy:       Yeah, I would totally agree with that in a lot of ways. And so I mean now I've got a family of my own, married probably one of the most awesome women on earth and I've got an amazing life. In a lot of times I do I talk a lot about kind of the home court advantage. You know I had a CEO reach out to me the other day and he's like, “Man I've got two kids and you know things are rough at home. How do you balance everything? How do you grow a business and keep things right personally and stay fit and do all these things? I can't keep it up!” And he's like, “Randy, you're probably single and being able to do all these things!” I was like, actually I'm not! I have an amazing wife. I've got six kids. I’ve got two sets of twins. I run multiple companies and we’re growing things like crazy! He about lost it! He's like, “How in the world do you balance all that?” You know, I said, well first off you got to have make sure you get everything right both personally and professionally because for me, there's no distinction. And I know a lot of people try to put things in silo but for me, Rob, there's no distinction between who you are at business and who you are home and who you are church or who you are personally and professionally. It's you’re one person and so the way that you show up in one place is the way that you really show up everywhere.   Rob:           Ooh, we could stop the podcast right now. If we all just live that, what a huge impact it would have on the world. Randy, actually segways into a thought I had and that was you know one of the things that is amazing about you, is the relationships you have with so many people. And so you had a chance in your life in these different associations to meet some of the most incredible people and influencers on earth. So, from all these people you've met and you just describe some of it right there, if you had a narrow down to a few things what sets apart those who you most admire and respect and why?   Randy:       I thought about this a lot you know and I thought about this over a great deal. I actually wrote a book called, “Prosper.” We hit The New York Times in 2011 and I wrote the book with the with a close friend of mine. We started another company that we sold in 2014. But for me, it's those people that are balancing money and happiness and sustainability. And to be able to do that, that's where prosperity really comes in for me. But to be able to do that, you have to have some real deep character and there's a few people in my life that I really truly respect. You know, I just was on the phone with Brandon Steiner from Steiner sports and Harvey McKay - I'm on his advisory board. He's written 13 books, “Swim with the Sharks,” and you know, “How to use your head to get your foot in the door,” and many others. But for me, it's people that have really lived the law of reciprocity and that you know, Brandon always says, “Do as much as you can for as many people as you can for as often as you can without asking for anything in return. And watch what life does to you and for you.” And so, I watch them and I watch how successful they are but also successful is more than just monetarily. It's like it’s rich in relationships and rich in being able to do business development and rich in being able to call anybody at any time and have access instead of you know trying to pay your way into things. You have access to the things you'd never have access into because you're such a giver.  That’s one characteristic that I know the people that I really admire and love.   Rob:           Yeah it's interesting you say that because, really, we live in a world where it's almost counter to our culture. At least from my perspective, there's so much in the world of what's in it for me and how do we grow and I and we and us and what you described is so powerful and I just think, you know, our listeners don't know this but you have this ranch up in Wyoming, this beautiful ranch in a valley called Star Valley and you bring people there often go fishing and take some time in the outdoors and you had a couple of people who  from the outside would be considered very successful recently and I remember you show me the pictures of the dad catching a fish with his son and taking that time and so many things come from that. Not only was that a relationship that you had with him, where just purely giving of your time not only giving but creating a rich experience. It’s not even just a lunch or dinner, you're out there fishing side by side and secondarily there's this dad fishing with his son for what looked like one of the first times in his life and the rich experience that they were having together and his son will never forget that and so I think you're one of the epitomes of what you just described.   Randy:       Well, I mean that we were doing that for them and they become even deeper friends right? There's another principle that I live, one is the law of reciprocity but the other big one, Rob, that's really been effective for me is called the experience economy. Joesph Pine wrote a book called “The Experience Economy” and that's why we have you know the Trout Ranch. We've got other properties and then I do, I take a lot of people up too. Got some great friends up at Sundance and Chad Lindebaugh and the guys that run Rocky Mountain Outfitters or we go horseback riding or fly fishing or zip lining and you go have an experience with somebody and a lot of times you'll spend the whole day together and maybe talk business about twenty minutes. When they kind of come out for the whole day and we have a deal done. And so a lot of times people get so stuck in to, you know, “We will meet you at the hotel,” or wherever. I love to get out and do stuff with these guys that never experienced the things that we can offer. So I'm really big on the book by Joseph Pine called  “The Experience Economy,” to generate deep meaningful, relationships but also drive tremendous value and move business forward in a big way naturally.   Rob:           Yeah that's awesome. I mean there's another terminology: transactional versus transformational. I mean, lunches are great, dinners are great but what you're talking about is the spirit of good, better, best. Taking something that's good and making it way way better because it's so rich, it's so deep and so real. I mean you're out in the outdoors and so much amazing things that can happen from that. So building on that what you just described there, and maybe now zeroing in on you not so much on others, but from your own life experiences ,what are two or three of your biggest lessons learned through life? I mean you've seen so much now. What are one, two or three of those lessons learned that you feel could we have a real impact in the lives of our listeners and what tips would you share from your own experience?   Randy:       From my own ,experience, I think some of the biggest things are ,you know you don't need to please everyone. And I think early on in my career, you know the most valuable asset that any of us have is time - is our time. And so I have a formula for whether I’ll do business with others or not and it's a formula that I actually learned from it another gentleman that does partner with this up at the top of the trout ranch. It's called you're the P. over your E. squared. Take look at fractional equations get your P. over your E. squared that means that your principles are higher than your ego or economic interests, always. I always look at somebody and I say, at the end of the day is as their principles other principals higher than their ego or their economic interest in something and will they stick to that more so because I have done business and I've done things with individuals where, man,  it looks on paper like it's going to be a fantastic, amazing, awesome opportunity and we’re going to crush it and we're all gonna be billionaires and you know being able to give back and do all the stuff but the end of the day you know that something's just not right and I've actually got some pretty good Spidey senses for that, where you just know that there's just something that's just not right and I went forward with that is like I haven't quite figured that out you know when I was younger but now I have. If it just doesn't chemistry, doesn't fit right or like something just doesn't feel like, “Oh heck yeah. We’re gonna crush this, we're gonna do this!” if you leave a meeting and you feel like I just I don't know if I am in. It doesn't mean that they're always unintegrous or whatever it may be, but it's always been where their ego or their economic interest don't align with mine, it has not ended up being a good thing.   Rob:           That right there just to pause, I know you have one or two more to say, but that is a huge, huge deal. You know it's interesting as we put together the book you know as you well know Become Your Best and ironically used the word principles -  The 12 principles of highly successful leaders. And in doing so interviewing hundreds of people and you try to look for these patterns of success and what sets apart great leaders and high performing teams from everyone else. And so you see that there's this pattern that emerges there's where the 12 principles come from. At the same time it was really interesting because another pattern emerged and it was at the very same principle but when they were violated. And one of the things you see over and over in CEOs and leaders that at least was from my experience and perspective was their downfall was their ego.   Randy:       Totally.   Rob:           And when ego became so big that it got in the way the progress of the company or got in the way of the finances so they couldn’t  wrong or they couldn't take input - the ego, was in many cases, their downfall. And we have several coaching clients right now and part of the reason I know this is, “Hey I've got a nice present or so and so and their egos got so big, how do I handle this?” Because it’s kind of killing our business. So just to reinforce it, what a great thought that is so P over E squared, is that right?   Randy:       P over E squared - so your ego and economic gain, but you're right, I mean there's been, in fact we just met with another amazing, amazing man and he said the best CEOs in the world are those that have humility. Isn't that interesting? They have humility and they follow their principles. Because you can do anything, I mean you can have success for a short period of time but if your ego and your economic interest and you get too greedy, it's gonna get in the way and it's going to stop you from growing and the best CEOs both have humility and also give credit where credit's due. I mean, there's different forms of ways you can pay people. One of the best ways that I know how to pay people is to give them credit.   Rob:           Yeah, make them the hero. Yeah, that's really good. Any other thoughts on that lessons learned from your past experiences? I mean that's a fabulous one right there.   Randy:       Yeah, I think the other big one for me is something that again my dad, he is just an amazing man and I can't wait for you to meet him but one of the things; I was leaving for college and he told me one thing and I wrote it down. I’ll never forget in this state is like my first day going up from college. I just got back from living in the Philippines for two years and literally had like four days until I start college and he said, “Randy, I want you to know one thing is that if you don't have your own goals then someone else will use you for theirs.”   Rob:           Wow. Yeah that's powerful.   Randy:       So, you think about that whether you're a CEO or you know working for somebody or whatever that is but again you know if you don't have your own goals then someone else will use you for theirs. So I work closely with a lot of very high powered people in on some advisory boards and we work on strategy. If you do not have your own personal strategic plan and if you don't write down those principles like you guys talk about like leadership, like when I went to your live event, it was awesome! Because you were really pushing people to write down and to really manifest what they wanted to accomplish and so that was like one of the biggest key advices that had ever been given to me is, you know, “Randy if you don't have your own goals someone else will use you for theirs.” And I know you guys do a lot of that with what you do and even this year, BYB Daily Journal that I'm using and everything else it's so critical, to set those goals and know exactly what you're doing -every single day, every single week, every single month and execute well.   Rob:           Yeah, because the whole point is to lead a life by design rather than live a life by default.   Randy:       Exactly.   Rob:           And you know the research, backing up what you just said, is that a person is 90% more likely to accomplish something when they have a clearly written goal. Yet on the other side of the scale, on average only 10% of people have clearly written goals and so getting very intentional and focused. But I love that quote, I wrote it down. I'm gonna use that again in the future because it’s so spot on. “If you don't have your own goals someone else will use you for theirs.”   Randy:       Exactly right.   Rob:           That's a good one. I like that. You know, we're sitting here talking Randy and so many people listen to this podcast because their businesses in a leadership position or you know they want to be a better employee, yet many people also have these families at home, they’re in a relationship with someone else and a lot of what you're saying now goes right back into the home, doesn't it?   Randy:       Well, it does. I mean that's why I said it. It really does. You think about your family, to think about your most valuable asset. To me, it’s my children.  I actually literally plan time to spend time with them or planning out you know our whole entire year; when we're doing vacations and all that. When I was younger, we didn’t plan our vacations and then somebody else put something on there like, “I'm sorry honey, we really can't go to San Diego,” or “We can’t go to Hawaii this month of August, because I actually have an event I'm speaking at or doing.” But now, we do have to plan those things out or you will miss baseball games, you will miss opportunities for your your family and family things and so, why do we work so hard? Literally, for me, it’s because so I can actually give my family that things that they need so I don't want to miss that time especially the prime of their life. And so, I don't want to be one of those guys you know like Cat Stevens, “A cat's in the cradle,” where I didn't spend time with my most valuable assets so I think it does spill over to home and again that's part of my whole thing on home court advantage. You got to plan those things out or else other people use your time for other things.   Rob:           I’m so in agreement on that, absolutely! And, everything you're talking about, not only planning and being intentional with our children and with our spouse. I just met someone at a conference, Randy, last week and the two people walked up and, it's not a credit to me or you. It's the principle. That's what you're talking about. And they just said this short hour just changed my life and they say, “Well, you know I haven't been on a date with my spouse in over a year.” It is just because life - it's so easy for life to come in and take over if we're not being intentional planning and doing the things you're talking about. Because, in our society, unlike in some others around the world, wow it's so fast paced here and so we’re not intentional we run the risk of something else taking over our lives and suddenly we look back and say, “Wait a second, where’d time go and our kids around the house and our relationships? You know, what happened?” So I love that! If you want, Randy, since we’re about twenty minutes or so. I can't believe it goes by that fast and I got to tell our listeners, something cool about Randy, that we don't know, we're in the very early stages but I just had this thought, it'd be fun to go to the Everest base camp store talking about experiential and this experience economy, and so we got on the phone and I asked for Randy, “Hey Randy, how would you like to go? And would this be some you might be interested in?” And we want to keep this to a small group and Randy was like, “Man I had this is as a dream of mine forever!” You know, I was thinking maybe it might be fun to take my will be, at the time my 18 old son with us now and we talk about these experiences and we're in the early stages of planning and just before the podcast we’re thinking, you know, maybe 2019/2020, the thought is if we don't plan it now, what's the odds it's something like that's ever going to happen?   Randy:       It's so true, Rob and just think about that both! It will help us to get in shape to do that – that’s some serious, serious hiking but just think of the experience that we have that the group that will go will do something that we’ll never forget, right? And so you're exactly right but we're planning that after two 2019 or 2020 and you have to do that because time flies! Time flies so fast that if you're not staying on top of stuff you will you'll miss out on living the intentional life is what I call it.   Rob:           Hopefully my mother in law is not listening in this podcast because she doesn't know that yet. So as we get ready wrap up, maybe one more thing if you don't mind Randy. I haven’t really asked you this yet. What's an experience in your life that really ,if you look back say maybe that experience or one of the experiences that was one of the most influential experiences on you, help shape you and who you’ve become today? Would you mind sharing that?   Randy:       Yeah, I mean, one that just comes to my mind that I'll share with you. As you know, back in our company we started  company back in 1999 and you know, it just exploded and back after two and a half years of being business and really profitable and growing and we had some people that came in and said, “Hey, we'll give you all this money and you know we'll take you IPO and we'll do a reverse merger and you know we ended up doing the deal and it took us 3.5 or over 3 years to unwind it and it'll cost millions of dollars to be able to do so and so that was one of my most valuable experiences because we said you know what these guys are really super smart you know they're in their forties, they're amazing, they've done business stuff but come to find out that it was really not what it was all out to be. I remember my business partner looking at me and he said, “You know what, if we're waiting for all the smart people to show up, we're actually here.” And we’re literally just looking at each other and so I think one of the biggest things is that I've learned in my life is to have confidence in myself, in that, if somebody else can do it, I can do it. So you can't fear those things and it's just like what's the difference between a $4,000,000 company a $40,000,000 company and a $400,000,000 dollar company - that really is really good people and strategy but it's a really good leader. Leadership is everything and so I stopped looking at other people to be my leaders and I started looking inward and started to build my own leadership qualities and traits and that's been a big focus of mine I’d really say for the last 18 years or so. But it all stemmed from that experience.   Rob:           How was that when you're going through it at the time?   Randy:       Oh bro, it was the worst ever. It was dark days, you know. It was it was really, really hard because we had all our employees that were also rooting and fighting for an understanding but it was a lot of prayers and in a lot of good things but we ended up you know really, really exploding after that as well, so I mean it's those things that build character and put hair on your chest when you go through tough experiences so it was good. Rob:           It is. You know it's interesting that's what you shared and I think a lot of our listeners know that my dad went through a similar experiences and it took him seven years. I remember him going down to the office with him. You know, speaking of being intentional, bringing everything back together. I remember running around the building -  it's a dark building but I'm down there in his office with him until like 9pm. He’d work these 15 hour days - trying to get out of a similar dark period and from that experience, that was kind of a refiners fire for him to really shape him to who he became later on in life and they're certain principles as a result of that and standards that we live by now as a company, for example, we will not operate with debt. I know that's not the case in every industry and companies there’s, you know, different thoughts on that but that's one of our things that we will do. He will never get in that position again. It's one of my personal mottos - the same principle. So it's amazing what can come from those refiner prior experiences. Boy, they're tough when you're in the middle of them aren't they?   Randy:       Yeah, and I learned too, you can't go sometimes in life you can't go around things or over things. Sometimes you just have to go right through them, you know?   Rob:           That's why you got the nickname. What they call you as a full back in high school?  The little ball of hate?   Randy:       Yeah, the little ball of hate. Back in the day. It’s a ton of fun!   Rob:           Randy, thank you so much for being on this podcast. I mean you're such an incredible friend, mentor, example and I think all of our listeners - I'm extremely confident they felt not only sincerity, but who you are and why you’ve had the influence on people that you've had and who you've become. So if you wouldn't mind, if there's any way they can either contact you or any details that you share about how they can learn more about you? If someone wanted to reach out in some form or fashion – is that something you could share with them?   Randy:       Yeah you know what, this is gonna be awesome because one of the software technology companies that we have is a marketing communications technology and it allows you to get really good at personal relationships and following up. It’s a company called Skipio and so the best way to get a hold of me as I'm really on my V. I. P. line and if you will just text me the words S K I P I O at 801 332 9909 and I'll be able to be able to follow up with you and you'll get a reply from me on some of the cool things that we're working with on the how to be a really, really amazing communicator and how to be really good on follow up. So again it's Skipio, just text key words Skipio to 801 332 9909  and you'll get a text right back from me with all my contact info.   Rob:           Awesome, so text Skipio – S-K-I-P-I-O to 801 332 9909 is that right?   Randy:       That's correct.   Rob:           And Randy will respond to you and we use Skipio. This is a great service if you're in any type of business where the customer experience is important which should be just about all businesses. You can also go to skipio.com and see what they do is a business a little bit more. Very, very cool what they do and Randy will respond so that's very generous of you to offer that out there for them Randy. Any parting thoughts?   Randy:       You know the last parting thought that I have is that I hope that all the listeners are you know utilizing Becoming Your Best tools. Honestly Rob, you came in and you spoke our company about what was it three months ago?   Rob:           Yeah that in there. Somewhere in there.   Randy:       And it has been it's been amazing, both for myself but other people keep referencing it in our office so all of the listeners I'd say you know the most important thing to do is to continue to work on yourself and continue to become the best individual, the best human, the best person that you can, and that way you can really reach out to others in a big way. And so I'm just that’s the one thing but I'm trying to do a lot better is to be the best you know leader that I can be and change as many lives but I possibly can before I go to the other side. And, so the other thing is one last thing - relating back to that story, is that a lot of people think you know in today's society it's like you know well I should deserve that or I should you know that's something that I deserve. I should deserve to be the CEO or I should deserve to have lots of money. I will tell you, that you really don't get what you deserve in life. You get what you work hard for and what you negotiate. So those are the two things – the two principles I live by: you don't get what you deserve in life you get what you fight, scratch, beg and plead for and negotiate. That's what you end up getting in life so that's part of my last leadership tip for everyone.   Rob:           Well, that is so true and I certainly echo and feel the exact same as you do so. Randy you're amazing! Thanks so much for being on the podcast. I know this is a huge deal for our listeners. It impacts me and it will certainly impact them so thank you for being here and everyone remember that one person can make a difference and it's just like Randy said it's you and I asking what can we do to make a difference so wishing you a great day and wonderful week where you're at in the world. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.