Wild Times with Susan Maletta

Happy New Year! This is the start of a multi-part review of a great little audio book I listened to called "Self-discipline--Develop daily habits to program your mind, build mental toughness, self-confidence, and will-power." I plan to use the strategies I picked up in this book for putting my new year's resolutions into action and I suggest you do the same! Or not! Just make sure you have some wild times this year, homie.            

I'm back to share another mixed-bag of an online article for you on five habits for successfully generating content. There are some very useful tips. One time your Dad said he was just going to give me the tip... Then your step-brother came along.  

Hi Covid Cocks, I found a good, short article (on conductor.com, no author given to give credit to) that gave some great information on how to create great internet content.  Let's get in the habit of daily content creation, regardless of your profession. Content is anything you can create for either you or a customer, or any damn person or PET you want to! Let us never limit ourselves. Let's develop great habits daily and try to create one piece of content every day! Love you, Covid Breath..

I read you 8 strategies for coping with social isolation and, during this, you'll find yourself coping with my constant interruptions as I insult your parents' genitalia. I have a problem. 

Are you the owner of a lonely fart? Here are some coping strategies, some of which I agree with. I will continue talking about issues affecting depression and anxiety in the next few podcasts.

Do you think the worst shit is always going to happen?  ...Especially lately? I found a good article on 5 ways to stop catastrophizing (thinking the worst is going to happen). Let's keep on working on controlling our negative thoughts. At the end of this, I offer my personal tips on getting into a good mindset. It's a nightly list that I've been writing down every night before I go to sleep. Join me! We will get through this pandemic together!  Socially-distant hugs and masked kisses, xoxox Susan  

Another pandemicast on how to improve and feel better! Wooo! Join me as I learn how to stop being such a bitch and think about positive things more often.  It is probably a good idea to practice learning how to feel good. It will likely help us and those around us, just sayin'... Kisses, Susan

IT'S EPISODE 69 y'all!  Here are some tips for coping with stress, anxiety, and depression during the hectic, fucked up, pandemic, Covidy holiday season! Love you. Hang in there. We can do this! You are not alone! xoxoxo Love, Susan

I read an article about dealing with resentment and, as usual, offer my three or four cents. "Why Resentment Lasts and How to Defeat It" This is a good one for the upcoming fun Pandemic holiday season. 

Well...I TRY to read an article on short-term and long-term strategies on coping and managing anxiety attacks... but of course end up interjecting about six million fuckin' times and throw the whole thing off with my lack of focus. I drank too much coffee then found out that coffee causes anxiety! Lol f u c K! I should not do podcasts in the morning. Try to cope with this podcast.  

This is my intro to tonight's Halloween show, which is going to be another FB live  "Shots n' Crafts" episode with my roommate, Iris. I also talk about random shit going on with me and in the world. Find out who I voted for! hee hee! Oh and yes, I know that I mispronounced “nihilism”. Nihilists do not care because nothing matters. So have fun! And let’s get wild.

Join my housemate, comedian Iris Benson, and me as we take shots and do crafts. Listen as we engage our social media followers on our separate phones while mayhem ensues.

First I read an article by Lena Firestone called "Being Alone: The Pros and Cons of Time Alone" then offer my own insights on self-isolation during the quarantine and being ok with alone time in general. Stay tuned-- I'm going to post the party podcast that we did last month (my housemate and I) called Shots and Crafts. Look for that post soon.

How to relieve anxiety and stress and become mentally strong during this crazy-ass time.

Laughter is contagious too so... let's do this! Hey I've missed you! Let's chat and catch up! I'll tell you how I'm doing amid the apocalypse as I drive on the freeways during the lock-down "shelter-in-place" mandate that has gone into effect! I went on a crazy mission. Join me. Do you know I forgot it's St. Patrick's Day? It's more like St. Virus's day...shit... These are the clouds I saw on the drive that weirded me out:

Topics include: Game-changing life lessons I learned when I read and studied the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People How I want to change some of my bad habits and turn them into creative pursuits Resisting the mind's urge to focus and ruminate on negative or catastrophic thoughts How we can choose our thoughts, actions, and re-actions Homework for you to start not giving a fuck what people think and start escaping the comfort zone. You have to give less fucks. Save all the fucks for yourself. Stop giving three sheets of shitcake and eat a whole big, six-layer ice-cream cake yourself. Time to get out of our comfort zones. Let's focus on what matters -- not what doesn't. What DOESN'T matter, is what people think of you (unless it's your boss or your kids).

Just venting and rambling about what's been going on with me. I'm in here cussing like a sailor...and I sound all severe..but yeah.. business as usual. Not a huge amount of value to add in this one. I give three choices for my next challenge and could use your feedback on which one to do! Let me know on my facebook page. Also, I'm performing tonight in Oakland so come on out! Town Business (a HellaFunny production) Comedy Night at 8 pm, Tues., Feb. 11 Copper Spoon Cocktails and Kitchen 4031 Broadway, Oakland Free if you RSVP on FunCheapSF.com or $10 at the door

TGIF! Relax and party with me and let's let these positive affirmations for self-love by Louise Hay sink right into our negative brains. (There are some technical audio difficulties in the beginning but they get worked out so just get through it.) Let's get wild and love ourselves.

I read an article on how to overcome self-doubt and I talk about my obsession with death-related subjects like this Kobe helicopter crash that's got me all freaked out about aviation again. Thank you for joining me and Happy Hump Day, ya horny, humpin' bastards! Love, Susan

I get on a roll about roller derby, muse about sexual matters, finish reading Leo's damn article, and talk about other personal matters.  We keep talking about self-confidence because it helps us in life (personally and professionally) to develop the habit of building, feeling, and expressing confidence. ..and I know I made a mistake with the Walt Disney quote. There were only 4 C’s because he said confident twice.  Thanks for joining me, Fuckface..

This is a NSFW (Not Safe for Wimps) podcast. Sometimes I talk about your dad's little dick. But mainly, I continue assessing a good list I found on ways to build our self-confidence. Your Dad should give it a listen. I sound slightly less crazy in this one (I think). I definitely sound less angry. I'm reading through the list of ways we can feel (or project) self-confidence and realizing that it's good to practice these items regularly. It really is a good list. And of course, I interject raunchy and sexual humor throughout to keep it lively and wild.  

Join me as I attempt to read an interesting and helpful article about self-confidence ....but get distracted and annoyed by the author's writing as I try to deliver his good points. I get through almost half of the points made in the article, but talked and ranted so much that I'll now have to do a Part 2 on this one. Enjoy your day and believe in yourself. I believe in you! Keep going! You got this. You can do this.  I also sing you a couple songs by the Beach Boys to lighten our moods.  

Welcome back, and here we are in the new year, still alive and kickin'. And in your mom's case, dickin'. Sorry that I took a week off but not sorry, because I took a good break to go down to LA and do some comedy. Now. On to what we are here for.  Are you ready to believe in yourself in this new year and decade? The fact that you are checking out a podcast featuring personal development themes makes me already believe in YOU. There is something in you that is at least curious about one or more of my little challenges here. So, I believe in you because I feel that you believe in you, even if you don't think so! Join me as I read (and interject my commentary on) an article I found on self-belief that covers the basics and adds a few new perspectives as well.  

Can you go stand in front of the mirror and say, "I love you, you sweet, sexy son-of-a-bitch”? No?  You might be suffering from low self-confidence and a lack of self-love. If the thought of going to the mirror and looking yourself in the eyes and saying I love you makes you cringe... we have work to do. (By the way...the sound is annoyingly loud/distorted at first in the podcast but mellows down and improves. I used a different recording method and it shows. Sorry.) I'm in the same boat but in general, I tend to think I am a pretty confident person. That doesn't mean I don't still have work to do. Not being able to look in the mirror and shower yourself with positive self-affirmations easily means that you might feel like you are not good enough, not attractive enough, haven't accomplished enough in life, aren't capable of doing enough due to whatever limitation (self-imposed or not), not making enough money, not a good enough parent, partner, son/daughter, sibling, friend, employee, leader, or can't be enough of what you think you are "supposed to be" or what your damn parents want you to be. You might be consumed with guilt, grief, shame, or blame. Have you thought about that? There is a way out of these feelings! I promise.  We are going to start working on this together. So come back. I love you and I believe in you and I think you are fucking awesome. I am your friend and coach now. For my upcoming stand-up shows, see www.susanmaletta.com. Get tickets for the 10 pm (7 Pm is sold out!!!) NYE show in Martinez, CA by going to www.CoCoComedy.com.      

Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Agnostics! Have a listen and learn how to deal with stress over the holidays. Or just listen and be entertained. Or just listen and stroke your Christmas salami and your little salted nuts. I give you a few more video recommendations for positive mindset conditioning / affirmations. These really help me get to sleep and calm me down and help me focus on positivity and self-belief. Use a neti-pot and do some deep breathing exercises with your affirmations. But use distilled water and not tap water, or you could die. Happy Holidays!  

I made it to 50 episodes! WOOO! Today I cover stressful holidays, a video recommendation for self-healing, and the rest of my non-military takes on Patrick Bet-David's military lessons for millionaires.  I don't always stay on subject but I did finally get through the list! Stay tuned for our next critical challenge: Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Belief! Join me for that on X-mas Eve. I couldn't remember this quote during the podcast, but here it is:

I give you specific goal-setting homework as I take you on my nightmarish Silicon Valley commute. We will just have to finish going through my non-military takes on military lessons for millionaires/entrepreneurs in the next episode. We will then move onto the next challenge, which is revealed in this episode... Get in here! (You may get annoyed by the mic cord sounds again, so try to block it out or skip this episode. I was driving. Sorry.)  

After a completely unrelated Christmas song... Sexy talk time, guys. I have a goal for ya, why don't you bust a nut or two or six? It's time for the weekend, which means it's time to get wild, baby. I tried to continue Part 3 of my non-military takes on military lessons for success/entrepreneurs/millionaires, but then digressed down a sexual cougarhole. ENJOY! Thanks for checking out my salacious and wacky podcast, baby! Wild Times with Susan Maletta finally brings you a wild time.    

Join me for: Drunken singing (just fast-forward through it, dude...) Continued discussion on some more great military habits including teamwork, leadership, collaborating with other cultures, and adaptability  Some more of my 2020 goals revealed Me just trying to motivate you  If I can't motivate you, or entertain ya, then perhaps look within for your answers and inspiration, or .... try a different podcast, or like, fuck off? I don't know...

Topics include: Self-love  Drinking too much/often does not help with energy levels and meeting goals. Cut down on bad habits. Replace with military habits. My perspective on 7 of the 19 habits that the military use for success How to set boundaries with critical or negative people  In Part 2 (the next podcast), I will go through the rest of the 19 good military habits and my take on them. Stay tuned for that. Let's get ready to have a great week! P.S. I like your muscular bottom. Keep up the good work, soldier. Oohrah!

On my rainy commute home, I try to get you to: Stop fighting on social media and avoid toxic people. Limit your news intake and reduce entertaining (or reacting to) your negative or obsessive thoughts. Stop letting people (including you) waste your time. Minimize distractions that take you off course or make you upset. Stay on this planet with us even if you are depressed or in agonizing, relentless daily pain. There's help and support. Reduce TV but if you don't, make sure it's fuckin' funny. Know how to set hard and serious boundaries with people who consistently suck the energy and time out of your day by venting their many problems to you (and that includes following their negative, ranting social media posts). You can do it politely. Do not give your time freely unless it is to your kids (who depend on you) or your boss or customers (who you depend on). Fuck everyone else. Seriously, dude...let these attention-seeking drama queens go suck the life and time out of someone else so you can get your goals planned and accomplished. I mean it. Stop saying yes to every social invitation, too. Focus on getting your shit done. Make it a goal to focus on your goal setting. FOMO is real but, oh well. It was probably not going to be that fun, and you would rather be at home anyway. You know I am right. Increase laughter in your day somehow. Find it or create it. It's healing and positive and fun and playful and joyous.  Oh yeah, btw....I also occasionally talk about very personal, sometimes intimate subjects because I don't filter myself, so you have been warned (teased)? Thanks for being part of my journey to improve and find happiness and success in this short and precious life. I know I am often negative, so this seems hypocritical, but I’m trying to grow. We are in this together, you fuckin' asshole. ;-)

Topics include: My friend unexpectedly had her baby one month early yesterday, and without notice, and my other friend helped deliver it because they had no time to get help! Pondering then writing down your ideal, dream life Backwards planning from the end of your life  Planning and habit tracking apps for your phone Believing in yourself and thinking BIG Setting measurable goals (not unclear/open-ended ones) Recommended audio books for habits, goals, and finance Thank you for being sexy and wild. Love, Susan  

Join me as I summarize the habits and principles discussed in this well-known personal development book by Stephen Covey.  What does this have to do with goal setting? Just listen and find out, will ya? This is one of my more serious podcasts but you need to hear this shit. These are the fundamentals of how to become even better and more effective than you already are. Let's figure out how to get to the next level. Employing these habits can help. What is the next level for you in life?

Don't be a tool...  get your planning tools in order. Having the right tools makes goal planning not only easier, but more enjoyable and fun. We'll go over: Planners Bullet journals (BuJos)  Habit tracker journals Dashboards  Guiding words (to focus on) Wall calendars (dry erase) How to make a digital vision board I did forget to mention using Google Calendar and/or MS Outlook in addition to any of these tools/systems because getting automatic alerts on your phone is really useful. It's just not as fun (and visually stimulating) as using actual hard-copy planners. I will try to work on not moving my mic cord around while I talk next time. You can hear it sometimes and it's fuckin' irritating. My bad. Next time we will talk about the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey. I will summarize the habits and main principles for ya. Oh and.. Here are the pens I told you about (no, these are not affiliate links and I don't profit whatsoever. I just like these pens). iBayam 18 Pack Black Ink Felt Tip Pens Fine Point Pens Fine Tip Markers Fineliner Pens Set for Office Home Work School Teacher Student Bullet Journaling Planner Writing Drawing Sketching Art Supplies Smart Colored Pens for Journal Notebook Planner 2019-2020, Fine Point Pens Fine Tip Drawing Pens Colorful Markers for Journaling Writing Note Taking Calendar Art Coloring (36 Colors)

Warning: I sound like an uptight bitch in this episode (because I am). Hey, sometimes I am! We all are! Also I was in a huge rush and wanted to cover a lot of material. So I may sound a bit harsher, and a bit more abrupt in this one, but I carry a good message if you want to trudge through the mud of my grumpy personality today. Topics include: Making marginal (small, bite-sized) changes to our habits and behaviors Thinking about the bigger picture (what do we want in life and who do we want to become to get there) Planning regularly and not just at the end of the year Visualizing our outcomes, i.e., the end results of our goals that we are planning Using a 12-month, erasable wall calendar to visualize the year daily on the wall as a visual reminder On the next podcast, we will talk about planning mechanisms such as planners, bullet journals, dashboard pages, and vision boards. Let's keep the progress going towards planning our wonderfully successful and happy lives ahead. Until next time.... think about what outcomes you want this year and next year. (Some of those outcomes should include some wild times. Otherwise why do we work all day? Work hard, play hard.) Love ya, darlin'.  Thanks for comin' around.

Topics include: - Your mom's atrophied, prolapsed vagina - Goal setting (including the goal of not having a vag like your mom's) - Visualization (visualizing yourself having a better vag than your mom's) - Plans for the rest of 2019 and into 2020 (plan kegels) I drop some knowledge on how to visualize yourself succeeding and exceeding the goals that you've set. I drop it like your mom's expansive vagina dropped you when you were born.    

Join me as we continue learning how to set goals. And of course I talk about my personal life off and on throughout. Here is a template I created that I've been using in the mornings to plan my time and goals in the short-term, mid-term, and long-term. This is just a start. We will add on longer-term goals later. Morning planning and goals check-in:  (You can modify this to fit your life.) Today/Tomorrow: What meetings/appointments do you have today and tomorrow? What are your three highest priority tasks today at work? Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority: What are your three highest priority tasks today at home (personal life)? Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   What are the low-hanging fruit (easy or fast tasks) that you can get over-with today? (List them and add checkboxes to check them off as you complete them.)   This week: What are your 3 highest priorities this week at work? Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   What are your 3 highest priorities this week (non-work/personal)? Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:  This month at work: Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   This month personally:  Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:    This quarter at work:  Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   This quarter personally:  Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   This year at work:  Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   This year personally:  Highest priority: Second highest priority: Third highest priority:   What can you be grateful for? (Make a list.)   How can you exceed expectations for yourself? (Make a list.)    How can you exceed expectations at your job?  (Make a list.)   How can you exceed expectations in your fitness/health routine?  (Make a list.)   How can you exceed expectations with friends/family?  (Make a list.)   Other Priorities/Action Items with Milestones & Target Dates:  (Make a complete list with milestones and due dates.)   **** Just copy and paste this whole section of lists into your e-mail calendar as a recurring appointment "Daily planning" at some half hour time slot that works for you every morning. And modify it to fit your life and what you want to focus on, and how you want to focus on it. This is just what has been working for me. As long as you do SOME type of planning in the morning before distractions take you...you are on the right track. I have my slot allocated in my calendar daily, Monday through Friday, from 9 - 9:30 am, which is right after I've gotten to work and had my coffee and can think clearly about how I want to navigate my day for success.

Setting goals gives you purpose, which is good for managing/fighting depression.  Add value to yourself and someone else by focusing on goal setting. In this podcast I read an article that is poorly written by a doctor, and it really annoys me. But the content is good.  

In this episode I check in with you after my absence and talk about whatever comes to mind, including: Ending our organization and decluttering challenge with some closing tips on purse and wallet organization I forgot to mention it, but buy a purse organizer insert. They sell them in any size and color on Amazon. An overview on the next challenge (goal setting) Roller derby and what I am doing next Tidbits related to my personal life Join me!

I complain about the challenge, tell you about my sectional couch, and blab about random shit. I also admit defeat in this challenge, but I am not giving up. I still am getting *some* stuff done. Just not as much as I had hoped. Not nearly. And not consistently. And it's weighing me down. It's the albatross around my neck. Not a good look. I must conquer this overwhelmed feeling with progress. Why is it that every time I attempt to get organized and master this closet, I all of a sudden feel SUPER tired and just want to lay down and watch movies?! UGH! Our minds sure are powerful, aren't they? I make myself tired and sap my own energy from dreading simple tasks that would make life easier. Let's push through the feelings that weigh us down and force ourselves to get the boring tasks and errands overwith. My paperwork is not done and I know I have nice nuggets of jokes in there. There is tax-related stuff I need. Insurance documents. I need everything to be online and it's not. Join me or not. This one isn't really helpful in any way.  

I am very likable so if for some weird reason you don't like me, please feel free to suck a dick. If you DO like me, please join me for this podcast. It's made for you. Let's get wild.  

I tried to get organized and I meant well. Does that count? Hear me criticize myself about my last episode (yes I heard the squeaking and rustling) and ramble on and on about whatever tickles my bean, such as my hot new neighbor who recently moved in. Warning: I messed up the audio on this one too! I sound a bit far away like I'm not even holding the mic. It actually sounds like shit and you might want to pass on this podcast altogether. I didn't have the input set up properly on my audio recorder (goddamnit) and was recording from the mic inputs on the top of the recorder and not the USB mic like I thought I was using. Dumb.  Moving on. The day is young and I STILL plan to organize a couple areas today and make progress. How about you? What can you do today to make a dent in the chores but also make time for fun later? Let's think on it and take action today.  

Pick a small area to organize or declutter with me for just ten minutes. We may not see a benefit right away, but we will feel a sense of accomplishment! Spend some time with me as I start to tackle a junk closet. I try to stay focused but it doesn't work out too well.  Join me as I struggle through this horrid chore. This is not an easy challenge. Ugh. Fuckin' lame. But worth it!    

I'm back to continue the challenge with you to get our crap organized so we can feel a sense of relief from knowing where everything is. My current issue is power cord organization, and making myself dispose of old electronics and appliances that I KNOW I won't use but won't part with. I recommend some videos that help motivate me to organize/declutter my space. These ALWAYS work for me. Join me as I continue this very challenging challenge! Let's take actions daily towards this. I'm with you. Next episode, we will declutter and organize an area together. Think of what that will be... Don't give up! You can do it! 

My disturbed mind comes out in this one, so be prepared. I really don't stay on topic whatsoever. A reminder that although I am doing some serious challenges that are meant to develop good habits, I am not to be taken too seriously here. This is a comedy podcast, after all. I pretty much fuck around the entire time and digress down different paths. I really enjoy doing whatever I want in this podcast. But I do hope to bring some useful and interesting information to you regarding getting organized and decluttering! Join me, sexy buns. Don't leave me alone in organization land?

We are going to start small. We are going to think about why we should get organized and visualize all the time it will save us and the beautiful outcome it will provide. I encourage you to think about three areas you could focus on over the next two weeks of this challenge. Or, pick one daily habit to focus on. But I want you to think about the *why*. Why do you want to get organized? What's the benefit to you and/or others around you? What does it solve? What does it free you up to do? Don't forget the *what*. What do you need/want to organize? The *when* is NOW and throughout the next two weeks. The who is YOU, baby. You and me, baby. Let's do it!    

Topics on the podcast tonight: Developing the gratitude mindset daily What does it mean to be a content creator? How to create mobile-friendly content And, as usual, I pepper the conversation with digressions and random observations. I read another article and ridicule it slightly yet praise it as well. Join me on OUR LAST DAY of this challenge!  Then tomorrow we start getting organized. Join me. Let's work toward and plan some wild times. What are you doing to plan some fun in your life? And did you write out what you are grateful for today? It's a good practice and lifts the depression cloud.  Try it.

I read an article for you on search optimization fundamentals that I think can help you think about different ways to make your website better. This can apply to comedians or anyone who has a blog or website. Have you been creating comedy videos or merchandise that you want to sell? You need a website on which to sell it. Are you trying to promote your comedy shows through your website? You need a search-optimized website. The goal is to attract and keep as many people as possible coming to your site. Does this sound boring to you? If it does, then money and expansion and growth sound boring to you, too. Let's improve our SEO. Let's learn more about it and take actions on it. If you don't care about website optimization, you'll want to give today's podcast a HARD PASS. But the sound is better than yesterday! I am using a microphone today. I hope you have a fantastic Saturday and rest of your weekend! xoxoxo Stay sexy and wild.

I used my phone to record this podcast (I promise I never will again-- I had no choice today) and so it's a bit annoying to listen to BUT you will be rewarded with sexual references and innuendo and possibly laughs as I cuss everyone out in traffic. I swear more than usual in this one. Get over it. It's exciting today. I also witnessed an accident this morning. And I got behind a car with a license plate I couldn't figure out that said "NGHT SHD", which I thought meant Night Shed, which makes no sense.. then after a couple hours of doing this podcast, I am thinking it stands for "Not Shitty"? (Naught shitty)? I still am not sure. Do you know? Get on my morning commute with me. Oh and I also offer inspiring ideas for self-improvement and success! Thanks for joining me. I enjoy you. Let's enjoy each other.

I take you on my morning commute and blabber on and on about this and that. I know this description isn't helpful but I recorded this yesterday and just now getting to posting it...and I don't remember what the hell I talked about! Enjoy!