Rabbit Troop Sucks

Welcome to summer! Surfs up, potato brains! Arizona wave tank champion, Rick (Matt Adler), goes to Hawaii for the summer to become the best surfer he can be. This fella has a lot to learn – especially about the culture of the island. After repeatedly eating it in the ocean, Rick also gets most of his belongings stolen. Rick soon meets Turtle (John Philbin) and Chandler (Gregory Harrison) who educate him in many ways. Chandler even mentors him as a surfer. Meanwhile, Rick starts falling for a local, Kiani (Nia Peeples), and this brings a new set of obstacles his way. What will happen when this all leads to the Banzai Pipeline contest? RTS enjoys Mai Tais on the beach. They soak in the sun and the ocean's ambience. Jeremy takes up boogie boarding. Is there a competition for this? La-Mar wins a sandcastle contest. First prize: shaved ice treats! Hooray! Collin encourages everyone to get off their “bummus” and to not be an idiot. Enjoy the film, all the amazing surfing scenes and become the soul surfer you are destined to be. 

Alex (Lance Guest) dreams of big opportunities and a better life away from the trailer park he is currently living in. He's denied a loan to attend the university of his choice, and this bums him out – big time! He then spends his night dominating the high score and beating a Starfighter arcade game. His girlfriend, Maggie (Catherine Mary Stewart), is VERY impressed! Nice moves, Alex! Little did everyone know that this arcade machine was actually a recruiting tool to find the best starfighters for real Gunstar spaceships. The inventor of Starfighter, Centauri (Robert Preston), rolls up in a future-mobile and a robot/Beta to sweep Alex away to the cosmos. Alex teams up with a good-humored pilot, Grig (Dan O'Herlihy), and together they will save Rylos or die trying. RTS checks out all the amenities that the Star League has to offer. Their craft services are solid! Jeremy is not about “victory or death.” He takes the first space bus outta this joint. La-Mar unleashes the Death Blossom from the start! Pew Pew! Are you the chosen one? Do you need to get into a star fight? Probably! The galaxy needs you! 

There is a legend that there will be a great white ninja. When a ninja clan finds a child in a chest that has washed ashore, they raise him, Haru (Chris Farley), to become this legendary warrior. Unfortunately, Haru is as clumsy as can be and lacks the majority of skills (in most things). He does have a can-do attitude though. Haru is hired for a mission by Sally Jones (Nicollette Sheridan). Off to America he goes! Haru's Sensei (Soon-Tek Oh) sends his best student, Gobei (Robin Shou), to look after Haru and aid in the mission. Silliness and many broken things will follow. RTS definitely knows when something has been or not been made by ninjas. Jeremy trains with Joey (Chris Rock) and a chicken on the loose. La-Mar has “traveled many miles and now [has] come disguised as a pimp to help you.” Collin shows us his belt. The blackness is intense! It's “like the inside of a coffin on a moonlight night.” Don't be led by the short sword and connect to the plane of enlightenment. “Holy Shinto!”

Do you have a case of the Byzantine Fire? Well, you should probably consult a medical professional about that. Jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) steals this coveted ruby amongst jewelry and diamonds. Gus' partner Bruno (Christopher Lloyd) is delighted about their heist. Money is to be made! June (Kim Greist) is really hot and cold about it all. Also, she is Bruno's daughter. Also, she is dating Gus. Could it get more complicated? Yes! Now, everyone wants ol' B-Fire – this incudes Chief Inspector Francis Mahoney (J.T. Walsh), the Turkish government, terrorists and many more. RTS pitches an entire line of Lambert products. Special gatherings will never be the same. Jeremy tries to out-profane J.T. Walsh. It's impossible! La-Mar lifts and swings a sack of cash – all one-dollar bills! Let's take this to the local arcade. While everyone in the city is fighting among themselves, Collin goes with the old tried and tested smash and grab method. It works! If you get caught up in any of this, you might be asking “why me?” 

In 1977, through a strange series of events, tough guy for hire, Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe), and PI Holland March (Ryan Gosling) team up to find a missing girl, Amelia (Margaret Qualley), and to unravel a mystery with a dead porn star. Somehow these two manage to get things done – most likely because Holland's daughter, Holly (Angourie Rice), is the most sensible amongst them. In the background there are fights, conspiracies, acts of government corruption, strange protests against the air, John Boy (Matt Bomer) is gun happy and on the loose and there are glamorous porn star parties in mansions. RTS avoids falling from balconies, rooftops, etc… Jeremy cracks open a nice cold Yoohoo. It puts a slight dance in his step. La-Mar makes sure his cookie jar is full of bullets. You never know. Collin learns that all cars drive themselves. Just let go. If things get out of control, grab the ankle gun in your dreams. 

How could we not check this film out? Collin has welcomed us all – to his wooden ways. Cosimo (Greendale Community College Alum, Luis Guzmán) gets locked up and learns about the perfect heist from his cellmate. He just needs to get out to do it. He confides in his gal pal Rosalind (Patricia Clarkson) which leads to everyone knowing and wanting a piece for themselves. This includes Pero (Sam Rockwell), Riley (William H. Macy), Leon (Isaiah Washington) and Toto (Michael Jeter). This makes Cosimo angry, and he has a lot to say about everyone's mothers. In the background, there's a bit of romance between Pero and Carmela (Jennifer Esposito). Will anyone care? George Clooney is even doing some stuff here. RTS knows when there's a real Bellini on the table. This isn't it. Jeremy considers being a Mullinski but the price has to be just right. La-Mar finds hidden treasures in the cookie jar. Collin has already given you everything. He has welcomed you. Isn't that enough for you? Don't let this turn into a real Kapuchnik. 

In a fantasy land, it all comes down to who can control a magic ruby. You know a bunch of villains want this thing! Canary (Virgina Bryant) is taken captive by Kadar (Richard Lynch), and her band of traveling entertainers are either killed, or they have scattered into the woods. Luckily, Canary has hidden the ruby, but for how long will it stay secure? Enter the twin hunky boy glisten show! Gore (David Paul) and Kutchek (Peter Paul) traveled with Canary and were separated as kids. Once they reconnect and fight it out a bit, they decide to escape and to become do-gooders. Along the way, they meet up with Ismene (Eva LaRue) who has her own backstory going on. As the three travel together, evil beware! RTS loves obtaining magical weapons to fight a swamp dragon. GOO! Jeremy does and doesn't want you to know about his mini crossbow. La-Mar develops a plan with China (Sheeba Alahani) to get the ruby for themselves. Get your swamp boots ready! Collin starts putting the ruby everywhere and on everyone to see if it glows. Eventually, it does! See ya at the harem. 

Authorities have finally caught international terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne). The best thing to do is book him on a nice first-class flight to L.A. Seems like this guy needs a steak and a fun in-flight film. John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) has just accepted a new position in an anti-terrorism unit, and he is undercover on this flight. So, inevitably when this all goes bonkers quickly, Cutter will be on the case. He will also bicker with Marti (Alex Datcher) while terrorism runs rampant. It's all about priorities. Sly Delvecchio (Tom Sizemore) looms in the background. RTS deboards the plane and immediately heads to the fairgrounds with Elizabeth Hurley. Let's win her an oversized stuffed animal. Jeremy has a corndog and some funnel cake on a Ferris wheel. If there's room, he might have a beer and a bratwurst later. La-Mar makes sure to order his airline sirloin bloody. It becomes questionable. Brendt goes reverse-Commando on a plane. He also updates his turquoise earring collection. Do you think most of this film will be on a plane? You'll be betting on red if that is the case. 

A gang of hoodlums is being led by the infamous Night Slasher (Brian Thompson). They all seem directionless in their crime plans. There are a lot of axes clinking to signify their unity. Kind of a weird scene here. Nevertheless, there is only one man who can save this city – maybe even the nation, Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone). “Call the Cobra.” If you've seen this guy cut a slice of pizza with some scissors, then you know what is needed. Now, Cobra must protect a witness, Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen) to end the crimes. All the crimes! Along the way, you will learn where the law stops and Cobra starts. He'll even tell people that! RTS learns that Cobra doesn't like lousy shots, diseases, profanity in public or poor manners. Respect! La-Mar goes on many candy runs with Cobra's partner, Gonzales (Reni Santoni). We're going to get some Whatchamacallits and ZAGNUTs up in here. Collin starts constructing a little book of puns and snappy one-liners. Cobra pays him handsomely for this work. Do these baddies even have a plan? The answer to that is no. We'll see you all at the fire factory. 

This film was shot in 1984. When it was retrieved, there was no sound or script. Vinegar Syndrome found this film and put it back together. A new cast has dubbed this film, and this was then released in 2021. What we are given as an audience is pure New York Ninja awesomeness! RTS even takes a field trip to view this one. John Liu (played by John Liu and dubbed by Don Wilson) is just a fella living his life. A bunch of street thugs kill his pregnant wife, and then John becomes sad. Very forlorn! Only one thing to do! Become a ninja and seek vengeance upon all criminals in New York. Good thing because The Plutonium Killer (voiced by Michael Berryman) is melting people (and himself), women are being abducted and fear is sweeping through New York. Along the way, John will befriend a kid and unify a city with their love of the ninja! RTS appreciates monogrammed throwing stars. We need to update our merch. Jeremy tosses powder bags into everyone's face – guilty or not! BAM! Powder bag! Collin picks up roller-skating based on this film. We didn't see that coming. And you won't see a ninja in white coming either! That's just a cloud. 

A sweet, elderly gentleman, David Lo Pan (James Hong), simply wants a date. He has a reasonable kink, green eyes. People laugh at him. Can't a (evil sorcerer) romantic find happiness? Meanwhile, Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) hangs out with his friend Wang (Dennis Dun) for a long night of drinking and an early airport run. Wang loses his love. Jack also loses his love, his truck. So much trouble! Is this story more about Chinese mysticism and world ending consequences or an old man's attempt at love? RTS learns that there might not be an “off switch” on the Lo Pan lamp. It's a thing! Jeremy saddles up and rustles up a “firm” howdy to Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall). La-Mar samples the cuisine over at Uncle Chu's (Chao Li Chi). Positive reviews! Collin teams up with Egg Shen (Victor Wong) and uses five out of the six demons in the bag. You better watch out; he's got one left for you! Brent brews and serves some gourd juice. You will now become smoke and dream. It will get, um, interesting. Check out this amazing John Carpenter flick! You need to remember that “you were not brought upon this world to ‘get it'” and listen to the Porkchop Express. Green flames! 

Easter is upon us! Everybody, run! Cole Hillman (Rory Calhoun) is getting sick and tired of bunnies (yes, cute and amazing bunnies) digging up his ranch. He is directed to get some help from a researcher at the local college. When researcher Roy Bennett (Stuart Whitman) isn't harassing bats in a cage, he's injecting rabbits with serums. Crazy serums! Things go wrong, and, now, these mutated rabbits are large and in charge! Roy's wife, Gerry (Janet Leigh), at least has a road flare for defense. RTS befriends all the rabbits. It was destiny! Mike somehow got lepused! Jeremy hangs out with captain Billy in a fun shack. La-Mar plans to “blow three holes” with the help of Elgin Clark (DeForest Kelley). It's the only way to get the job done! Collin creates an electric train track trap. It's like Mouse Trap but for giant, angry buns. Don't let the mutant Lepus get you this Easter. Make it more about hidden egg scavenger hunts and marshmallow and chocolate goodies. 

Frank Devereaux (Terry O'Quinn) loves betting on stuff. Don't really know why and with what funds, but he's dug himself into a debt hole. Now, a bunch of drug dealing Reno bad guys kidnap his son, Billy (Brandon Call), and force Frank to make ground up Smurf dust. Kinda like Gargamel's Breaking Bad. Enter: Nick Parker (Rutger Hauer). He served in Vietnam with Frank. Nick lost his sight there, but he has been spending his time training as a swordsman. Acorn squash beware! Now, he's back in the states with his sword cane, and he's going to knock around plenty of skulls as he rides around on buses with Billy. RTS learns how to clean up your eyebrows and neck beard with a gentle swish of a sword. Jeremy electrifies us all with his sparking death hot tub. La-Mar was told that his “butter knife ain't gonna stop no bullet.” Oddly, it does. It stops many bullets – and it helps butter his bread. Is Bruce Lee's brother showing up to this?

Danny (Paul Rudd) and Wheeler (Seann William Scott) work together pimping out some sweet energy juice. Danny is in a rut, asks his long-term girlfriend, Beth (Elizabeth Banks), to marry him and completely fails. He then totally freaks out and winds himself and Wheeler into some serious community service/probation time at a big brother program, Sturdy Wings. This program is directed by the amazing Gayle (Jane Lynch). Danny is unenthusiastically thrust into a world of LARPing with Augie (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Wheeler and Ronnie (Robb'e J. Thompson) learn to bond over shared obsessions. Better than prison, right? Right!? RTS would NEVER BS a BSer. Jeremy demands that everyone “gingerly touch our tips.” La-Mar learns that Monopoly is “based on true events.” Collin observes the hotdog trick. Boop! Compliment a loved one's “whispering eye” before slumber. Maybe you need a re-role here. Let's wreck shop in the name of Kiss-My-Anthia! 

Barry, Barry. Why ya buggin? Barry Gabrewski (Jonathan Brandis) lives in his fantasies. Although creative, these dreams interfere with his real life. In all of these daydreams, Barry is the sidekick to Chuck Norris. Seems like some normal stuff there. Because of this, Barry has a hard time at school. His teacher, Noreen Chan (Julia Nickson), assists Barry and his dad, Jerry (Beau Bridges), and introduces them to her spirited uncle, Mr. Lee (Mako). Lee takes Barry on for Karate instruction, and we are treated to an array of training montages, awkward conversations with Lauren (Danica McKellar) and wild faces from Kelly Stone (Joe Piscopo). RTS discovers that all cures come from kitchen sink potions. Jeremey falls in love with this film and is now actively training in Karate. La-Mar takes his metal nunchucks and chucks everything! Collin will make sure that you “respect the wood.” When we break a bunch of bricks, we'll make sure they're on fire! Everyone seems cool with that.

It's our 200th episode! Thank you for listening along the way. Two rogue angels, Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon) have been banned from heaven. Now, through a loophole that Cardinal Glick (George Carlin) has accidentally created, these angles might re-enter heaven and put an end to everything and everyone. Because of Bethany's (Linda Fiorentino) bloodline, she is sent on a mission to save us all. Thankfully, she is aided by the holiest of duos, Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith). RTS starts changing water into wine. You're not even ready to see what they change Kool-Aid into. Serendipity (Salma Hayek) approves. Jeremy searches for fun religious artifacts. In the end, he comes to collect on the $12 JC owes Rufus (Chris Rock). Collin buys some fancy pants for the rapture. He's looking stylish. Brent and Metatron (Alan Rickman) get mouthy with some shots of tequila. Swish, swish! Let's get another round! Thanks, again, for listening to our fun. We'll keep it going even after the apocalypse. Here's to 200 more! 

This comes to us as a listener request from Yung Cazzy! Great choice! On the eve of D-Day, several paratrooper survivors assemble and set forward to take down a radio tower that's jamming up their airwaves. Led by Cpl. Ford (Wyatt Russell) and driven by PFC Boyce (Jovan Adepo), they team up with a local, Chloe (Mathilde Ollivier), to sneak around the village and take down a bunch of scum sucking Nazis. Along the way, they capture Captain Wafner (Pilou Asbæk) and learn of horrific secret experiments being conducted. RTS likes sticking to the original plan of blowing up the tower from the outside. They are also digging on these fresh baguettes. Jeremy injects everyone with mysterious serums and asks questions later. Later, as in he is on a bus going far, far away. Collin quickly realizes that he'll have to explode everyone. He does! They have all been exploded! Get him a baguette! Thank you, again, for suggesting this fun, dark and adventurous tale. 

Who did it? Did you? You've gone and done it!? We think you should watch this film before you listen – if you're into things like that. A year after his wife, Sheila (Yvonne Romain), is killed in a hit-and-run, Clinton (James Coburn) gets all toothy and wild and gathers some “friends” together on his big ol' yacht. Tom (Richard Benjamin), Philip (James Mason), Christine (Dyan Cannon), Lee (Joan Hackett), Anthony (Ian McShane) and Alice (Raquel Welch) are all willing to do whatever it takes to work on Clinton's next project. Once they all assemble, Clinton crafts a scavenger hunt that reveals many secrets and the killer. RTS trusts no one from the start but enjoys the view. Mike is missing! What have you all done? Jeremy floats around with Christine but away from the death propellers. La-Mar samples the many luxuries of the yacht. He may be calling this place home. Collin tries to match each drink Tom and Philip have. It's impossible! We all need to work on our boat fortitude. Next time you're on a yacht with a bunch of money-grubbing weirdos, let us know. We like to party!

Happy Lunar New Year! It's the year of the horse. Let your ventures and transformations lead you to accomplishing your goals that you have been reflecting upon. Let's celebrate with Jackie Chan and some Hong Kong cinema fun. Ryo Saeba (Jackie Chan) is known as City Hunter. He swore to his now deceased partner that he would look after his sister Kaori (Joey Wang). No funny business! City Hunter is hired to find a client's missing daughter, Kiyoko (Kumiko Goto). Once located, everyone conveniently finds their way to a cruise. The dance number is AMAZING! You'll love Hard and Soft! Unfortunately, there are a bunch of terrorists on board. They are led by “Big Mac” MacDonald (Richard Norton), and now City Hunter has to shut that nonsense down. RTS learns baccarat and the art of throwing deadly playing cards. Jeremy contemplates the many bowls of rice he has eaten over the years. So much rice and continuous hunger! La-Mar wonders if everything Street Fighter in this film was a fever dream. Yoga Flame! Collin helps City Hunter find a meal. It's a decent meal. No one eats goo bread! This film is based on the manga work of Tsukasa Hojo. Have fun with this zany adaptation. City Hunter! 

A long time ago, a demon was trapped in a medallion and that medallion was then buried. While two martial artists, Luke Curtis (Warhawk Tanzania) and Rodan (Wilfredo Roldan), vacation in Hong Kong, Rodan finds It and brings it back to the U.S. That demon, now loose, does NOT like that business! So, it tracks these fellas back to New York City (where you get picante sauce). This monster then takes residence in the subway system where it starts attacking people. Between gang fights, inept policing and friends doing weird things, Luke is juggling a lot! Now, he has to take care of some smelly (we assume) subway monster. Good luck, buddy! RTS grabs some lunch with the Red Dragons. It's amazing! Jeremy paints on some eyes and roams the streets. Another day on Colfax! La-Mar gets questionable spiritual assistance from a man whose face is falling apart. The real takeaway from this film (also known as Gang Wars) is: put all of your problems in an ancient, magical amulet and bury it deep! You'll be fine. 

A group of fun-loving snowboarders are about to lose their jobs when the resort they work at is being sold to John Major (Lee Majors). Rick Rambis (Jason London), Luke (Zach Galifianakis), Jenny (A.J. Cook), and others band together to make sure the Bull Mountain party in Alaska never ends. You know the story. We've been here before, but can Rick win over the woman he's yearning for? Does he even want to? The life of Ram-man Rambis is strange. Can we celebrate Papa Muntz (Lewis Arquette) properly? There is a Playboy Playmate (Victoria Silvstedt) on set!? RTS shreds with Majors. A cocktail tail in one hand/a dream in another. Jeremy investigates the entire backlog of the original The Fall Guy series. He is now working as a bounty hunter by night. La-Mar tests the freshness of the mountain pow. It is and isn't exactly what you think it is. Collin is delighted to high-five after evicting others and receiving security duty. Let's get some snow here in real life. Snow gods, dump thee snow upon us! 

Nick Halloway (Chevy Chase) is a stock market executive. Through his colleague/maybe friend George (Michael McKean,) Nick meets Alice Monroe (Daryl Hannah) and they bang it out in a bathroom at a restaurant. True love! Nick keeps his party going, drinks himself silly and then attends a client's conference the next day. Hungover as hell, he sneaks off and takes a lil' catnap in an office bathroom/sauna. Also, some high-level science stuff is going on and going wrong. Through a coffee spill accident, everything goes bonks and all that was in the building (including Nick) turns invisible. Now, the government, especially CIA official David Jenkins (Sam Neill), wants Nick so they can harness his molecules. RTS shacks up at George's beach house and goes on the new all clear food fad diet. Jeremy uses this newfound power for nefarious purposes. La-Mar teaches us that playing the stocks is always a guaranteed success. Collin reveals himself, watches this film and then decides to go ghost-invisible again. Rami immediately goes to Switzerland. It has always been the only choice. What would you do with the power of invisibility?

Buyer beware in this story! A biker gang kills an occult leader trying to summon a demon. This demon then fuses itself into a motorcycle (duh!). Noddy (Neil Morrissey) purchases this motorcycle from a friend (for a questionable price). It becomes quickly apparent that this bike is an evil vampire demon force that thirsts for blood. Noddy just wants to fondle his girlfriend Kim (Amanda Noar) and have a good time at the local pub. It's not going to happen! Inspector Cleaver (Michael Elphick) and his garlic breath will be checking into all of this. RTS teams up with Priest (Anthony Daniels) to fight the forces of evil and to decipher “the binary language of moisture vaporators.” Jeremy does things with a crossbow that will tantalize and haunt you. La-Mar causally watches a group of jocks explode at the gym. Collin successfully orders and receives the coveted bag of crisps. Rami gets a galaxy of garlic prawns. “Three prawns are hardly a galaxy.” At least the garlic helps! After this flick, let's all grab a bite to eat.

Two high schoolers are up to some standard fantasy youthful stuff. Barney Springboro (Scott Baio) is a science pro! While working in the lab, he accidentally concocts a formula that gives him telekinesis. His buddy, Peyton Nichols (Willie Aames), wants to harness that power to get women out of their tops and to win some serious money betting. Barney doesn't seem to like that idea all too much, but he doesn't have a better one of his own. Really, there doesn't seem to be a plan to use any of these powers. Bernadette (Felice Schachter) is trying to study these unique abilities – and all of Barney. Principal Coolidge (Robert Mandan) is just trying to get a date. RTS accompanies Dexter (Scatman Crothers) in the boiler room. That's where the real party is. There's A LOT of salami talk. Jeremy chugs some beers and heads to the Tilt-a-Whirl. La-Mar goes full Zap at the prom. Watch out for flying fruit and the firehose. Collin wields true ultimate power; everyone now thinks he's possessed. Teens with undefined powers and lofty dreams! What could go wrong? 

Through a series of moments in time, we learn about Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) who was born in the highlands of Scotland. He is an immortal swordsman who has been trained by Ramirez (Sean Connery) and prepares for “The Gathering” in NYC. The winner will obtain “The Prize.” As the end battle approaches, the Kurgan (Clancy Brown) is going on a murderous rampage – immortals or not. He is determined to be the only one, “there can be only one.” In addition to this immortal battle, Brenda (Roxanne Hart) is working forensics and is trying to get a peek at Connor's mythical sword (all puns intended). RTS sets up an amazing multilevel antique shop/home. You never know where the elevators will take you. Jeremy starts calling everyone a “haggis.” La-Mar hangs out with Macleod's cousin Dougal. That guy knows where to get a drink. Collin whips up some baked goods for “The Gathering.” It's nice to have refreshments at a time like this. Sharpen your blades, watch your necks and let Queen drive the music in this 80s fantasy adventure. “Who wants to live forever?”

John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a sweet, ex-military man trying to live his retired life with his daughter, Jenny (Alyssa Milano). When he's not logging or walking around with logs, he's eating ice cream and feeding wild deer. Now, Arius (Dan Hedaya) and his number one thug, Bennett (Vernon Wells), pull John back into the game by kidnapping Jenny. John is all Command-NO about it! He somehow teams up with Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) to fly planes and get things done. Is Cindy the new mom? RTS checks out some brochures to Val Verde. Between the warlords, plotting and potential alien monsters, this place has something for everyone. La-Mar tells a bunch of people they'll die last. He lied about it. They're taken out rather quickly. Collin starts wearing his own chainmail vest. The trend has started to take off. Brent makes his Rabbit Troop Sucks debut by jumping out of a plane and leaving bodies along the way. Also, he's going full commando! ‘Tis the season!

We've got a bonus episode, birthday boy Jeremy and more Christmas Fun! Carol Vanstone (Jennifer Aniston) is going full Grinch and is planning to shut down the Chicago branch of the tech company her brother Clay (T.J. Miller) runs. To combat this, Clay, with his CTO Josh (Jason Bateman), tries to land one big client, Walter Davis (Courtney B. Vance), to save the day, the jobs, the spirit of the season, the world, etc… A real Christmas miracle is that Tracey (Olivia Munn) develops magical internet technology that connects to the power grid. While all of this is happening, there is one hell of an office party going on in the city. RTS straps on some cash and makes it a party to remember. Jeremy swings from strands of lights and does obscene things to laser printers. La-Mar finds out that Cronuts are a “bastard pastry.” Collin learns that God drives a Kia just like Mary (Kate McKinnon). Buckle up! There are MANY amazing cameos throughout this film. Jillian Bell and Randall Park are tying this season together! Happy Holidays! 

Happy Holidays! We have exclusive tickets to the Nutcracker Ball for you and your loved ones. Just don't let Miley Cyrus talk you into anything you don't want to do. In 2001, Ethan Miller (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) loses his parents in a tragic car accident. Ever since, his two best friends, Isaac (Seth Rogan) and Chris (Anthony Mackie), celebrate the holidays so Ethan isn't alone. Now, as the trio have grown and have more life obligations, they decide this is the last year for their traditions. And, they have tickets to the mythical Nutcracker Ball. On the surface, the rest of the night is a drink/drug-fueled series of shenanigans. At its core, the night is about rediscovering what real friendship is. Can Ethan figure things out with Diana (Lizzy Caplan)? Is Isaac ready to be a father? Can Chris find himself amongst his growing fame? RTS rolls around with Mr. Green (Michael Shannon) and healthily maintains within the “Christmas present.” Jeremy crucifies the “messiah.” Whoops! La-Mar starts Home Alone-ing people on the streets. Collin befriends all the statues at a nativity scene. Rami, after a church debacle, earns his wings. Be merry! Be safe, and have fun! Remember to appreciate the family you have made along the way. 

Brick Bardo (Tim Thomerson) is a tough cop living on some trash world of Arturos. After proving, yet again, how rad he is, he tells the mayor to shove it. Rules be damned! Crime doesn't take a day off. Unfortunately, Bardo's long-time and now disassembled baddie-rival, Sprug (Frank Collison), zaps them both to the Bronx on Earth. In comparison, Bardo is only thirteen inches in height to average Earth adults. Good thing he has his "Groger Blaster.” Once on Earth, Bardo meets and helps out Debi (Kamala Lopez). He realizes that her and her son are up against Braxton Red (Jackie Earle Haley) and his local neighborhood gang, and he shows everyone how they do it from Arturos. RTS smashes a floating space head upon sight. Most didn't realize that was an option. Jeremy refuses to take his sunglasses off – even at night! “Tell me size doesn't count.”

In a sort of what if, youthful versions of Sherlock Holmes (Nicholas Rowe) and John Watson (Alan Cox) meet at an English boarding school. After quick introductions, Holmes demonstrates his legendary sleuthing abilities (based on the writings of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle). We see a tender side of Holmes as well. Elizabeth (Sophie Ward) lives on the school grounds with her uncle. When the game is not afoot, Holmes is usually, flirtatiously, hanging with her. Unfortunately, the game is afoot! People are getting blow darted! There is a string of recent deaths that may be related. A cloaked Jawa is lurking around. There is an Egyptian cult! RTS takes on a stained-glass knight come to life. We're all poker pals now. Jeremy checks out the Egyptian wrap and wax. It isn't for him. La-Mar relies on “perception, intelligence, and imagination [and whiskey].” Collin fights some crazed cream puffs in a graveyard. “Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent." Let's solve a mystery together in this winter tale written by Chris Columbus. 

Combat Black Friday! You have all that you need. Learn from this couple. You don't need excess when you have each other. Alice (Juno Temple) and John (Michael Angarano) are trying to improve their lives. Unfortunately, it seems no matter what they do, they're more or less stuck. But, they do love each other. After Alice makes off with a teapot from an antique shop, she quickly learns that pain, in all forms, causes the teapot to spill out cash. John has lost his job. Arnie (Billy Magnussen) is demanding the rent. Payton (Alexis Bledel) is making everyone feel as if they are in high school. How far will this couple go to buy the lives they desire? Dr. Ling (Steve Park) cautions them against this. RTS joins a local fight club to fill that teapot. Jeremy rides the lightning! That's a real cash generator! La-Mar cartwheels down a flight of steps. Collin does things with candle wax that will occupy your dreams for weeks to come. In the end, you don't need to buy anything. Also, we are currently accepting your donations.

T-Grande! Let us lend you a helping hand this year. While you are prepping your heart out or chowing down all hog wild, let us share with you a very fantastical tale on this very special T-Grande episode. Everything is getting mashed, and there will be gravy! Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Cash (Kurt Russell) are supposed to be the best in the LAPD. There are newspaper articles coming out every few moments indicating this. And, when these two get framed by Perret (Jack Pallance) and sent to prison, oh boy! There will most certainly be newspaper montages! These two are able to escape and then go on a series of adventures to clear their names, seek justice, get a souped-up RV and we all get to meet Kiki (Teri Hatcher), and we see why “they're real and they're spectacular.” RTS dresses by the rules but doesn't play by them. Jeremy learns what can be achieved when you tape a hand grenade to someone's mouth. La-Mar builds and displays an elaborate mouse maze. Thanks to everyone who suggested this film over the years. We are grateful for you! Enjoy some T-Grande trivia and our offtrack/on brand discussions of pies and all things seasonal. 

Kids these days! Out causing trouble! Always involved in some sort of mischief. Resurrecting into ghoul demons and trying to eat everyone around! Hey, don't blame the kids. Blame the ancient curse. Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) and his psychic partner with a case of the blues, Alley Oates (Deborah Rose), get caught up in this zombie madness. Can they get out? Shepard (Norman Fell) has a ponytail. Will that assist anyone? RTS casually walks out the front door and drives off. Those cursed demon children never see it coming. Jeremy takes on Miss Pooppinplatz (Phyllis Diller) after she eats some head goo. La-Mar explodes Floofsoms. Collin impales (via a forklift) all who stand in his way. If you get a psychic vision to hang out here, you just got bone-yarded. 

Some people claiming to be scientists (they could be) are experimenting with dreams and deep sleep. They do this in an underground facility (as you do), and they open a parallel dimension (also, as you do). Because a test subject dies (explodes all over the place), Captain Hickock (David Beecroft) is called in to investigate the work of Dr. Erhardt (Louise Fletcher) and Dr. Van Fleet (James Hong). Now, there is an alien from another world running amok. Really, a bunch of stupid stuff is going on. Miguel A. Núñez Jr. is here but not as Dee Jay from Street Fighter. A nude woman is on display! There is a monkey named Bingo! RTS thinks Hickock is Tommy, but they are different people, but it doesn't really matter. One is “Ginger Beard” with a shotgun! Where is Mike in all of this? Jeremy appreciates how everyone talks as if they have molasses in their mouths. La-Mar feels one droplet of water fall on him and he goes bonks! Between all the slow, nonsensical tech talk, the goo pipes and non-verbal transitions, the length of the movie is felt. How the hell are we getting out of this GD Shadowzone?

Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase) and Austin Milllbarge (Dan Aykroyd) have been promoted! Congratulations! They will serve as decoys while other CIA agents take down a Soviet nuclear missile launcher. But, not everything in this mission is adding up. Along the way, there will be parachute drops! A metal briefcase with handcuffs is used. There is a secret underground base! Will Sam Raimi let you in? There is mention of codebreaking. There's a lot of spy stuff happening here! Mr. Ruby (Bruce Davidson) and Mr. Keyes (William Prince) are trying to mastermind it. Karen Boyer (Donna Dixon) “spent the last two and a half years of [her] life preparing for this penetration.” So, there's that! RTS trains with Colonel Rhombus (Bernie Casey) to become woods ninjas. Jeremy becomes an extra within the Ace Tomato Company. La-Mar smashes the hell out of the SatScram terminal with a rock! Rami hangs with Frank Oz while scrutinizing test takers. B.B. King is here! “Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor…”

It's that magical time of year for another SUPER HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR episode! Happy Halloween from everyone at RTS! We have a very spooky trivia quiz as well. Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale) should be grateful for the life he is living. While in his bedroom, between mom-approved sex sessions with his girlfriend, Amy (Amanda Bearse), Charley spies on his new neighbor, Jerry Dandrige (Chris Sarandon). Turns out that ol' Jerry is a vampire. Instead of being cool about it all, Charley calls the cops and starts a bunch of trouble. He also enlists the aid of a television horror host, Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall), and his friend with some horror knowledge, Evil Ed (Stephen Geoffreys). Jerry is not thrilled with any of it. He is thrilled with Amy though. RTS does play it cool and now has wealthy, well-connected vampire friends. Jeremy befriends Billy (Jonathan Stark), and they oversee the estate together. La-Mar bewitches us all as he lays down some slick moves at the 80s nightclub. We all hope you're having a good time. If not, the master might be upset. Have more treats than tricks – but, really, whatever you're into. 

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and his best pal Dale (Tyler Labine) are starting their dream vacation. Tucker just spent his savings by purchasing a fixer-upper cabin in the woods. They want to spend their time fishing, relaxing and drinking some beers. There are stories and rumors of some sort of a woodsy massacre from years past, but that won't stop these two from living their best lives. What will try to stop them is a bunch of Chad-bros led by Chad (Jesse Moss). They mistake the harmless duo as a pair of backwoods psychos! When Tucker and Dale save Allison (Katrina Bowden) from drowning, Chad and the crew take their paranoia to dangerous levels (for themselves). RTS performs a lovely chainsaw ballet amongst the trees. Jeremy learns how heavy half a guy really is. La-Mar successfully escapes a swarm of bees. Emily sensibly decides to stay at a hotel up the road. It includes a pool and a continental breakfast. Be mindful of the woodchipper! 

Written by Stephen King, we have three creepy tales guided (sort of) by a cat's experience and perspective. And, we have our first anthology to discuss on RTS. In our first tale, Dick Morrison (James Woods) is trying his best (maybe) to quit smoking through Quitters, Inc. Dr. Vinny Donatti (Alan King) assures Morrison that he has a 100% success rate, and there will be results or else. In tale two, we meet Johnny Norris (Robert Hays) who has fallen for Cressner's (Kenneth McMillan) wife. Worst part, he's a crime boss about to end Norris. Good thing is he bets on everything. If Norris can shimmy around the outer edge of an entire penthouse, riches and love await him. What's the pigeon have to say about this? Our last story is about a cat! A cat fighting a troll and winning over Amanda's (Drew Barrymore) affection. RTS feeds the neighborhood cats only the best tuna and goat. Jeremy becomes a plume of smoke at an 80s party. La-Mar successfully circumnavigates the ledge of the first floor. Collin shuts down the troll hole for good. The life of a cat isn't all playful yarn games and frolicking, at least not this season. 

Cole (Judah Lewis) is a somewhat nerdy but good-natured boy who is turning into a young man. When Cole's parents leave town for the weekend, he's beyond excited to spend time with his mega-crush babysitter, Bee (Samara Weaving). Bee is the whole package for Cole. She's funny, she's pretty, and she can talk nerd culture with ease. When Cole stays up one night to see what the cool kids do, he is surprised to find out that Bee is dealing with the devil and her friends are crazy as hell killers. Cole, now being hunted down, runs, hides and gets assistance with his friend Melanie (Emily Alyn Lind). Blood and explosions ensue! RTS flips cars and burns demon books. Jeremy is insta-bewitched and spins a bottle. La-Mar shows the world the fat dragon! Collin dances himself out of the way of eggs and BMX bullies. Will we ever figure out why Max (Robbie Amell) is shirtless? Will this be your first question? Are you too old for a babysitter? 

The struggle of a teen is real. This isn't the story of a young republican banker to be or of a time traveler avoiding the affections of his mom. This is the howling tale of Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox). He wants to date the girl of his dreams, Pamela (Lorie Griffin), be a high school basketball star and just be popular and liked. Seems like average teen aspirations. He's also surfing on vans with Stiles (Jerry Levine) and avoiding the affections of a much better local gal, Boof (Susan Ursitti). Wait, Scott is also a werewolf that can summon powers on command! Dad/Harold Howard (James Hampton) thought it could have skipped a generation. The town is super cool with it though. Just got to win some b-ball. RTS searches for Mike in this episode. His body is feeling the change. Jeremy sweats buckets upon buckets. Someone is going to have to clean this up. La-Mar avoids a card game with a guy who has the first name of a city, but he does go out with a lady with a dagger tattoo. Collin learns what really happens in the bleachers at the end of the game. You don't need a full moon to have a good time here. It's been inside you this entire time? That seems right. Go FULL WOLF! 

The mustachioed mythos of Jack Ramsay (Tom Selleck) is revealed and is in full force (full stalk) within this futuristic dream. Ram-Man does NOT like rogue robots. They really twiddle his stache. He also doesn't like heights, and sometimes he becomes a real grump about it. Luckily, he's partnered up with Karen Thompson (Cynthia Rhodes) to temper the crank. And, if Ramsay can't grab a dinner with Jackie (Kirstie Alley), maybe it will work out with Thompson. Getting dinner seems like an integral plot point to this film. That and Dr. Luther (Gene Simmons) brandishing weapons and staring into your eyes like a madman. Well cast! Whatever! Machines are angry or something! Microchip! RTS fights off drones and tries future sushi. Jeremy dodges an array of heat-seeking smart bullets. La-Mar casually knocks around a horde of spider robots. Collin rides the corn-cutter bot to freedom. This future is bonks! And, in many ways, Michael Crichton, you predicted it well. Now, let's talk dino DNA. 

What do you have planned for your science project? Another show stopping volcano? Regrow some vegetable scraps? Solar powered something? How about submitting an unstable device that creates time warps? Let's go with that! Michael Harlan (John Stockwell) has been told by ex-hippie turned professor, Bob (Dennis Hopper) that he needs to submit a science project or he will fail. Mike takes his friend/date Ellie (Danielle von Zerneck) to a military junkyard of wonders. Classic first date! They find a device that houses a glowing purple orb. Note: these are not sexual allusions. Once Mike and his friend Vince (Fisher Stevens) hook a car battery up to this alien device, time becomes unhinged. Is this project worth an A? What's Cleopatra doing here? Get ready for Sherman (Raphael Sbarge) to quickly break away from nerdom. RTS outruns electricity! Jeremy makes sure you don't forget about the school tax, jellyfish. La-Mar gets the device past the fuzzballs. Collin obliterates a dinosaur. History be damned! “In the ozone, blowzone,” make sure everything is “dyno-supreme.”

We received this super fun listener request. Thank you, Mike! In this tale of teenage heroism, viewers will learn the ways of fresh baby nugs and wheezing the juice and/or gigs. Dave Morgan (Sean Astin) is a grump with dreams of becoming the prom king, dating Robyn (Megan Ward) and hosting an epic end of year pool party. This party will be in the current backyard hole he is digging with his bestie, Stoney (Pauly Shore). During this pool-dig turned excavation, these lads find a human popsicle, Link (Brendan Fraser). After thawing him out and giving him a fly 90s look, it's high school time! For Dave, this could be the path to popularity. Caveman shenanigans ensue. RTS makes their way through all the nugs and cones. Jeremy becomes infected with grooves and learns to “feed the monkey.” La-Mar gives a sincere and direct SHOOOOOOOSH to all the doubters of cave culture. Listen, bud-dy, give this a view and have a good time. “The cheese is old and moldy.” 

The Harvey family from Chicago have inherited a yacht that was once owned by Clark Gable, and they want to give their kids an out-of-city sailing experience that they will remember. Oh, they're going to remember this! Martin/dad (Martin Short) thinks he can do it all. He cannot. Katherine/mom (Mary Kay Place) is good spirited and skeptical (rightfully so). Leading the family is the fantastical Captain Ron Ricco (Kurt Russell). He might be a bit scruffy, and don't trust him in Monopoly, but he'll eventually get the family where they need to be – physically and spiritually. The kids take part in this family adventure. Ben (Benjamin Salisbury) strives to become promoted from swab to mate. Caroline (Meadow Sisto) is engaged but “it's kind of informal. Like, not a problem.” So, everyone has goals. RTS takes on the pirates of the Caribbean. Jeremy carves out some boat shower time and something to do with a salami. La-Mar learns the way of the revolutionary. Collin dives into the ocean and becomes sea-foam. He is reborn into an air spirit. Hit play on some Bob Marley, grab some rum and come sail away. 

This is the legendary story of Toby Kellogg (Jason Bateman), a somewhat questionable musician with an equally questionable future in the music industry and how he handled the mob. Toby wants to hang out with his band and his new lady friend, Megan (Chynna Phillips). Unfortunately, Toby's parents believe in him and send him to music camp in Interlochen for eight weeks. Halfway through, Toby sneaks out and flies back home. He discovers his parents left, the house is empty and no one probably loves him. Real pity party here. Meanwhile, a mob assassin, Tim (Jack Wagner), is out to get him, and Justice Department Dobbins (John Glover) is trying to save him. What does Tom Skerritt's mustache think about all of this? RTS packs a radio and a handful of cassette tapes for this adventure. Jeremy helps himself to one of the many sports cars available to all teens in this film. Remember that one time at band camp? If it's about terrible food and brown water, then, yes, we remember. 

Herbert West (Jeffrey Combs) is a strange, young medical student who will break as many pencils as it takes for you to understand that dead cells can come back. West moves in with another medical student, Dan Cain (Bruce Abbott), and he experiments with green glowing serums and Dan's dead cat. Dan is dating Megan (Barbara Crampton), who thinks West is a major creep. During these scientific shenanigans, the two doctors-to-be turn Megan's dad, Dean Halsey (Robert Sampson), into a re-animated ghoul. Whoopsie daisy! In the backdrop of all of this, Dr. Carl Hill (David Gale) loses his head and attempts to steal all of West's work. Also, Dr. Hill is trying to get mad freaky with Megan! RTS looks into the void and sees Cthulhu, and it looks kind of adorable. Jeremy, La-Mar and Collin go on a re-animating spree. Everything is coming back! Where's the security guard for this? “Cat dead, details later.”

Kai James of the Australian band Girl and Girl joins us. As an Australian ambassador, he lets us know that this is ALL true. Maybe even based on a true story. In a somewhat near future, things have gone wrong! Australia, the U.S. and North Korea are all that's left! That's bizarre. When you're not thinking of that, go see a film. Jimmy ‘Crabs' Rossini (Ned Manning) wants that. Oh, and sex with Carmen (Natalie McCurry) in a car. Done and done! But, some cops steal two of his wheels while the pasties are in play. Turns out this drive-in is really a concentration camp for the youths. Thompson (Peter Whitford) is behind some of this. Well, he has a dated computer control panel and Foster's. Lots of Foster's. Those rounded up all seem cool with it. They also become a bunch of weird racists rather quickly. Jimmy just wants out! RTS escapes the Rocks Riot and now inquire about joggers selling their shoes. La-Mar is appalled by the snack selection but has been enjoying the films at the drive-in. Kai was going to become a carboy, but he is bewitched by the golden nipples of the future. Who wouldn't be? Good thing we can still get some Fanta in this dystopia. Music by: Girl and Girl. 

This is a tale of love. Love and goo! Some of the crazy townsfolk love putting toxic waste into the ground. This just seems like a recipe for mutants! Unfortunately, two brothers, Josh (Wings Hauser) and Mike (Lee Montgomery), drive through town and get caught up in this mess. Josh does meet Holly (Jody Medford), and when she's not bartending or teaching, she may or may not be down for some fun times. Meanwhile, when sheriff Will Stewart (Bo Hopkins) isn't hitting the Wild Turkey, he's trying to convince his superiors that there's something amiss. RTS avoids the hand goo stigmata. Jeremy joins Holly for some after school tutoring. La-Mar tosses numerous Molotov cocktails into the faces of mutants. They are not fans of that! Collin sits down and gets to really know the mutants and what's troubling them. After, he face-bombs them, too! If you're in for a series of bad decisions, boiler room pipe fights and are ready to leap over a pool table during a barroom brawl, then let's get mutated!

John Carpenter directs this eerie tale. A publishing company hires John Trent (Sam Neill), an insurance investigator, to track down a missing author, Sutter Cane (Jürgen Prochnow). Cane's books seem to drive certain readers to go crazy, but, hey, sales are through the roof! The head of the publishing company, Jackson Harglow (Charlton Heston), sends Linda Styles (Julie Carmen) along with John to the town of Hobb's End which may or may not exist. Their goal is to find Cane and find out what is happening as the world seems to be falling apart/meshing into hell. Rest assured, there will be plenty of suspense and Lovecraftian horror along the way. RTS attempts to avoid reading Cane's newest novel. They fail and now live in a demon world. Anyone have a black crayon? Jeremy now resides in an ever-changing nightmare painting. La-Mar rides a bicycle on the endless highway stretch of darkness. Are you just fiction in a story? You better check yourself because “he sees you.”

A bunch of townies playing video games with their joysticks. The metaphors do not run deep here. If you're looking for a local scene where accruing points makes you royalty, where the vibe is provocative and the women love disrobing freely, then you just found your way to the local arcade, friend. Jefferson Bailey (Scott McGinnis) and his grandfather own and operate the town video-tech. When grandfather gets ill (or something, do we really know?), Jeff has to take on the resident busybody, Joseph Rutter (Joe Don Baker), and his idiot nephews. They want to Footloose the arcade youths! Meanwhile, Rutter's daughter, Patsy (Corinne Bohrer), is in on the teen delinquency. Jeff will have to battle his on-screen girlfriend's father demon and take on King Vidiot (Jon Gries) to save the day! The arcade? The summer? What the hell is really going on here? Is Eugene (Leif Green) hooking up? Is McDorfus (Jim Greenleaf) going to have a heart attack? RTS loves after hour parties and secret sexy video games. La-Mar shatters records in Moon Patrol and dominates a few rounds of Gorf. Collin gets on a minibike and shows the crowd who the Pole Position champion really is. When you're not taking off your shirt or having backroom circle-bed sex, just remember, “Totally awesome video games!” 

Montgomery Brewster (Richard Pryor) is a minor-league baseball player for the Hackensack Bulls who is approaching the end of his game. Luckily, his recently deceased great uncle, Rupert Horn (Hume Cronyn), left him a heap of cash. But, there's a caveat and a lesson to be learned. Brewster must spend 30 million dollars in 30 days without gaining anything. If he depletes the funds (in accordance to the spending rules), he will gain his true inheritance of 300 million dollars. If he has anything left over, he loses it all. With the help of his friend Spike (John Candy), he is going to learn to spend hard – and hate every moment of it. Angela Drake (Lonette McKee) will keep track of all of the spending, and she will be giving heavy-handed, disapproving comments along the way. Learn to have some fun, Angela! Angela's fella, Warren (Stephen Collins), is too busy leaving law to become an overpaid interior decorator. RTS always finds time to hang out with Edward Roundfield (Pat Hingle). He's always one of the nicest people we see around these parts. Jeremy learns to bring the heat with the assistance of Charley (Jerry Orbach). La-Mar enters the collectable stamp game. Collin makes sure that you won't vote for anyone. This is worth a watch as there is a rich, memorable cast that has, for the most part, passed away. We miss you all!