Sextras

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In Sextras, you’ll hear two best friends have honest conversations about sex and relationships, with all the issues that surround them. From sharing funny stories, to sex tips, to hard life lessons learnt, Honey Jane Wyatt and Maria Jose Hayaux du Tilly paint a candid picture of relationships of all kinds when approaching and reaching adulthood. Episodes may include heavy discussion one second and cringe worthy confessions the next. If you’ve ever wanted to listen in on two girls talking about the details of their sex and love life, now’s your chance, you might even learn a thing or two. Instagram - @sextraspodcast. Email - sextraspodcast@gmail.com Original theme music by Sacha Puttnam

Mable Productions


    • Mar 25, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 53m AVG DURATION
    • 115 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Sextras

    How Our Attitudes to Sex and Relationships Have Changed

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2025 49:40


    It's been (nearly) five years since we started the podcast and, while we've been on a shamefully long hiatus, we thought it would be just about time we reflected on what exactly we've learned about sex and relationships.We discuss how our perception of sex, relationships, and friendship have evolved from the start of our 20s to our mid-20s (ew), from going after lots of sex at university for validation and attention, to discovering how sex fits into our lives as adults in evolving relationships.Honey tells us what she has learned through each relationship and breakup since starting the podcast, and her journey from being in a sex-heavy relationship, to celibacy, and eventually re-learning her pleasure. Maria explains how her six-year relationship has changed over the time, and reveals how being in a long-term relationship has impacted her sex life, and her own personal relationship with pleasure.We also briefly discuss how we approach friendships differently now, compared to when we were at uni, and what life should look like in your 20s versus our real life experiences. Finally, we comment on Gen Z attitudes to sex, and how much our sexuality is impacted by broader societal attitudes to sex in culture. Attitudes to sex have changed a lot since we started the podcast, and we're excited (and equally terrified...) by how it's going to evolve for us and, more importantly, for all of you!Thanks, as always, for listening

    Relationship Reveal, Adjusting to Living With a Partner & (Finally) Getting Big Girl Jobs

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 50:08


    Sextras is back! Once again it's been a while but we promise it's for good reason and we get into why in this little catch up episode.We start with the headlines, namely revealing a new relationship, the challenges of living with a partner, moving out of a family home, and the fact that neither of us are unemployed any longer.Honey discusses moving out of her family home for the first time at 24, the shame of still living at home in your 20s and how relationships with your family change once you've moved out.She reveals she has a girlfriend (full 180, all or nothing baby!) and discusses what it's been like having a healthy, committed relationship for the first time as an adult. She also gives some insight into what it's like telling someone you're dating that you have a sex and relationships podcast (lol).Meanwhile, Maria has been living with her boyfriend (now of five years) for over a year so she delves into what sharing a space with a partner has been like, and how it's changed over time. She reflects on whether she's gotten any better at setting boundaries with her boyfriend, especially when it comes to dividing household chores, and putting up with a man's standards of cleanliness.Lastly, they both discuss how they dealt with being unemployed for so long in their 20s; the desperation, shame, and low self esteem (holy trinity) that come with that and our thoughts on finally being employed. Thanks for listening! For more content on sex and relationships in your 20s, follow us on TikTok or Instagram @sextrasworld or find our digital magazine and more episodes of the podcast on our website. You can contact us to let us know what you want to hear next on our social media, or at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We hope you enjoyed and we'll be back next month with another episode! Edited by Maria Jose Hayaux du Tilly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Towards A Positive Masculinity (with Ben Hurst)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2023 53:16


    Our masculinity miniseries has been a little negative up until now (we're aware of it at least!). But this week that all changes because we're joined by Ben Hurst – activist, educator, and Head of Facilitation and Training at Beyond Equality – to discuss how we can rethink masculinity.As someone who regularly works with young boys in schools, we talk to Ben about what representation boys see of masculinity. In his Ted Talk, notes that boys will be what we teach them to be, so we talk about what characteristics boys currently associate with masculinity and being a man. Because toxic representations of masculinity result in violence, predominantly against women and girls, Ben explains how we can talk to men and boys to help them unlearn the more toxic traits of masculinity and reframe masculine traits to help themselves and those around them.Finally, we end the episode by talking about what boys think is expected of them when it comes to sex, and how sex education and male role models can do better.We hope you enjoy the episode, we've wanted to have Ben on since we started Sextras and we're so happy to have finally spoken to him and learnt from his wisdom. For more of Ben, find out more about Beyond Equality or watch his Ted Talks here:Boys won't be boys, boy will be what we teach them to beWe need to talk to boys about online misogynyAs always, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextrasworld, on our website http://sextrasworld.com (http://sextrasworld.com) or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com). We are now a magazine – for more content about masculinity check out our articles on our website, and you can pitch us your ideas at sextrasmag@gmail.com (mailto:sextrasmag@gmail.com).We'll be back next week with the final episode of the miniseries — see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Unboxing Lovehoney's Advent Calendar & Learning How to Use Sex Toys

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2023 44:16


    Christmas could not have come sooner with this episode as Lovehoney has sent us their 24-Day Advent Calendar to try and we're opening it with their resident sexual wellness advisor, Sarah Tomchesson! We start the episode telling Sarah what we're experimenting with in our sex lives, before diving into the calendar to find different sex toys, from vibrators, to butt plugs, cock rings and restraints. Sarah talks us through how to use different sex toys in versatile ways, whether you're a beginner or a seasoned user. We learn a lot about how adaptable different sex toys can be, as well as new ways to incorporate them into our sex lives – by ourselves, and with a partner !Thank you so much to Lovehoney for sending us your 24 day advent calendar. It's now on sale with 60% off for Black Friday, so definitely go check it out if you're looking for something exciting to spice up the end of your year! You can find it us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextrasworld, and find our episodes, plus read lots of exciting articles about sex and relationships, over on our website http://sextrasworld.com. We'll be back on Tuesday with another episode of our Masculinity miniseries, see you then! Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    A Look Into Male Friendships

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2023 49:35


    In the second episode of our Masculinity miniseries, we unpack everything to do with male friendships. While it comes as no surprise to some of us, the fact that men don't have supportive friendships has been in the news a lot of late, with claims that there's a male friendship recession and that men are lonelier than ever.After years of wondering what men talk to their friends about, we thought we'd find out for ourselves. In the process, we've probably lost all of our (admittedly, very few) male friends by asking them endless questions about their friendships.We start by talking about men's friendships with other men, and let us say, it really is looking quite dire. We discuss how they make plans, what they do together, what they talk about and, specifically, how they talk about sex and relationships.Our survey on masculinity asked whether masculinity is something we're attracted to in friends, so we also hear from non-male people how masculinity plays into their friendships, and whether they want to be friends with men. There seems to be a lot of suspicion from all sides towards men and women being friends, so we also ask whether men and women can truly be friends, whether conversations with male friends and female friends are the same and how women often take on a lot of emotional labour from men if they can't process their feelings. We also ponder the ethics of having male friends when you're in a (straight) relationship, and how our endless societal programming towards seeking male validation can be wrongly interpreted by our male friends. We hope you enjoy this episode, it's worth noting we are aware some of these conversations are very binary and heteronormative, and also generalise. This episode is based on our own research and interpretation of that, and we definitely don't think our findings are true across the board. If you have different experiences with friendship you feel aren't covered, please feel free to share with us over email sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com) or you can find us on our website sextrasworld.com (http://sextrasworld.com) or social media @sextrasworld. We'd love to hear your perspective! We'll be back next week with the wonderful activist Ben Hurst to talk about moving towards a positive masculinity, but in the meantime you can find more content about masculinity over on Sextras Magazine. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    What Is Masculinity in 2023?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2023 49:09


    Welcome to the first episode of our Masculinity miniseries! Masculinity has been under scrutiny the last few years: on one side, there are claims that masculinity is “toxic”, “fragile” or “in crisis”, and on the other there are those who claim “not all men” are responsible for this poor perception of masculinity. While we fully support bad behaviour being held to account here at Sextras, we wanted to discuss what masculinity really means to gen z in 2023. Is masculinity good or bad? Is it always related to men? What are the characteristics of masculinity? And is masculinity really still held in high regards by our generation as a whole? We asked our Instagram followers all about their perception of masculinity in a survey, so we read through your answers and discuss our own perception of masculinity to try to find the answer to what masculinity means in 2023 (hint, we don't find one but it's not looking as bleak as we might have thought!) We are thrilled to announce that Sextras is now expanding into a digital magazine. You can find all episodes of the podcast and articles expanding on the personal and cultural experiences of sex and relationships at www.sextrasworld.com (http://www.sextrasworld.com), or our Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextrasworld. We'll be back next week with another episode about male friendships, see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam TikTok mentioned: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJoUvJW8/ (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJoUvJW8/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Using Spirituality To Overcome Sexual Shame (With Kaamna Bhojwani)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2023 40:28


    In even the most accepting of households, children pick up on their parents' beliefs about sex. If that includes restricting sex or teaching that it is inherently bad, that can lead to sexual shame that persists throughout our lives and shows up not just in our sex lives, but also in our entire emotional wellbeing. This week, we're joined by spiritual and sexual psychologist Kaamna Bhojwani to talk about healing sexual shame through spirituality. Kaamna starts by telling us what sexual shame is, where it comes from and how it shows up in our lives. For women, and older women particularly, sexual shame can separate them from embracing pleasure in their lives as a whole, as well as causing body image issues.Kaamna explains how spirituality can be used to move away from sexual shame, from using meditation to get back in touch with our bodies to examining and unlearning the sexual scripts we were taught during childhood. Overcoming sexual shame is all about looking at what beliefs about sex serve us and re-writing those that harm us so that we can prevent it from passing down through the generations. If you want ti find Kaamna goto her website: https://www.kaamnalive.com/ or find her on Instagram @kaamnalive.We hope you enjoy this episode and it inspires you to look at how sexual shame shows up in your life. You can find more of Kaamna on her website or on Instagram. As always, you can find us on our website, on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextraspodcast or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.We'll be back soon, make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss our next miniseries on Masculinity. See you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Read Porn! (With Aurore Founder Carly Pifer)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2023 40:58


    Have you ever had sex so good you wish you could freeze the memory in time? This week we're joined by Carly Pifer, founder of Aurore, a curated collection of erotica written by and for women and LGBTQIA+ people, that encourages you to do just that by writing a story based on your real sex experiences.Carly tells us how she started Aurore and how erotica is different from other kinds of porn. Whereas visual porn can be limited in terms of the body types, genders and positions involved, erotica leaves more up to the imagination, so Carly explains how this appeals particularly to women, trans folk and queer people. Carly has also had feedback about Aurore that it gives representation to sexual minorities and can be great education for people hoping to learn about how to give women pleasure. Whether you're looking to improve your sexual imagination, realise what it is you like by reading about other people's real life sex experiences or simply want to try out a new kind of porn or erotica, Aurore has a whole collection for you.You can read Aurore here, or find them on Instagram. Carly is on Instagram @carlydangerous. As always you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, or on our website.We'll be back soon with another miniseries, or you can find our most recent miniseries about Family, Parenting and Sex here. Can't wait to see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Do Gen Z Want To Be Parents?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2023 58:17


    There are so many stereotypes about Gen Z it's hard to keep track of where they're really at: they're a sexless generation, they're the most sensitive because they have a victim mentality. They want to be parents, they don't want to have babies because they're worried about the planet; they'll be the best parents… oh no, wait, they'll be the worst. But parenting has changed a lot over the years and what went for one generation can completely change for another. With all the unpacking of toxic masculinity, changing attitudes towards work and greater acceptance of LGBTQIA+ identities, we predict that will make for radically different parenting. So, to get down to the truth of the matter (and of course there is no one answer) we surveyed out Gen Z audience to delve into whether they want to be parents and what Gen Z will be like as parents, from different parenting styles to how they want to talk to their kids about sex.We start by asking them about their relationship with their parents, what they were told about sex and relationships growing up and how they want to change that when they talk to their kids about sex. That is, if they even want to have kids, so we asked who they want to have kids with and how they'd want to raise them if they do. We also asked how Gen Z think attitudes towards sex have changed from generation to generation, including what their grandparents and parents think and how that impacts their relationship with their families.We hope you have enjoyed our Family, Parenting & Sex miniseries; if you have please leave us a (5 star!) review wherever you listen and don't forget to subscribe to make sure you don't miss our next one. You can find more of us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast or our website and you can get in contact with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com) to request future episodes. Pitching guidelines are on our website. See you next time!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    How To Talk To Your Kid About Sex (with Dr Tina Schermer Sellers)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2023 62:59


    Raising kids is hard in a bunch of different ways, but one of the main things parents dread is having the inevitable “talk” with their children. How do you have the talk, when should you have it, what is appropriate to say: these are all questions that nobody really gives parents the answers to. But what if that one, all-important moment never needed to happen, because kids got the information they needed as they needed it growing up?Author of the incredible resource Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal, Dr Tina Schermer Sellers, joins us this week to discuss how to raise kids in a shame-free way, including “drip-feeding” them snippets of information about sex and their bodies throughout life, starting from toddler-age. We start the episode hearing about Tina's own upbringing, which was exactly the kind of parenting she has found is beneficial to kids in her research. Tina explains what sex-positive and shame-free parenting means and what parents need to do to make sure they're not passing on their own shame to their kids.Dr Tina gets into the different developmental stages kids go through with understanding sex, and what is age appropriate to teach them at each stage, including what to do if your kid is touching themselves or trying to experiment with other children. You might experience conflict in your own relationships, so she also goes into what is appropriate to share with your kids and what to do if they ask you questions. We then get into how to talk about bodies in positive ways; Dr Tina explains that not having these crucial conversations with your children can set them up for loneliness and feeling as though they are unequipped for the world later on in life, which can in turn make them look to harmful examples in the world around them. Thank you so much to Dr Tina for joining us, we learnt so much about how to raise sex-positive children and we hope you did too. You can find more from her on her website and find her Instagram @drtinashameless, or on Twitter @tinassellers. You can also find the Northwest Institute on Intimacy on Instagram and buy her books on Amazon.As always, you can find more of us on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We'll be back next week with the last episode of our Family, Parenting & Sex miniseries, make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss it! Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Having Sex After Birth (with Smile Makers Collection)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2023 40:05


    After having a literal human come out of you, getting little to no sleep and suddenly being entirely responsible for another human being is not exactly conducive to new parents' sex life. But when you are at a point where you want to start having sex again, what do you do?Cecile Gasnault, brand director of Smile Makers Collection, joins us this week to tell us all about the research the company has done into having sex after birth. Mothers - being the ones who have actually given birth - are often worried about having sex after birth and the research shows that they aren't given nearly enough information about when the right time is to start having sex again or how to go about doing it. They might be scared of experiencing pain during sex or causing unnecessary complications in their healing. Cecile tells us what Smile Makers have discovered in their research with Mumsnet and all about their vibrator The Whisperer, the first ever created with new mothers' pleasure in mind. Listen in to hear all the details, you can find more of Smile Makers, the sex toy company focused on women's pleasure, on their website and their Instagram. As always you can find more of us on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook and Threads @sextraspodcast, on our website or contact us sextraspodcast@gmail.com. This episode is part of our Family & Parenting miniseries, find the whole miniseries here. Or, catch up with previous related episodes like ‘Talking With My Mum' Parts 1 and 2, Why Learn Your Attachment Style?, Family Matters and Our Sexual Genesis.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Deciding To Have Kids & Outgrowing Relationships (with Jessica Hendry Nelson)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2023 58:07


    TW: substance abuse, anticipatory griefWe've all been sold the idea that you're meant to experiment in your 20s, something that our guest this week missed out on. Author and professor Jessica Hendry Nelson joins us to talk about being in a relationship for the whole of her 20s and eventually ending that relationship because of differing interests.Jessica starts the episode telling us about her unconventional experience of her 20s, living with her ex-husband and the fact that they didn't talk about having kids until it was too late. Having had a baby with her new partner just 10 weeks ago, Jessica tells us about deciding to become a parent: whether that's something you're ever truly ready for and how she found a partner that was right for her to raise kids with. We discuss the expectations that come with motherhood and how she learnt to be a parent from her mother and other family dynamics she had growing up. This includes how her anticipatory grief surrounding her brother's addiction affected her throughout her life and whether she thinks it impacted the relationships she chose. We also cover how we can outgrow a relationship but that her female friendship have been a constant and fulfilled things in her life that are not fair expectations to have in a relationship, or are simply things that a man can't fulfil. To end the episode Jessica tells us about her book, Joy Rides Through the Tunnel of Grief, a memoir in essays that comes out September 1. You can pre-order the book through her website and find more of Jessica on her Instagram. As always, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Facebook @sextraspodcast, on our website or get in touch with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We'll be back next week with Cecile Gasnault, brand director of Smile Makers Collection, to talk about having sex after giving birth. We hope you're enjoying our Parenting, Family & Sex miniseries and we'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    How Sex Changes With Age (with Beducated)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2023 43:53


    In episode one of our Family, Parenting and Sex miniseries were joined by Mariah Freya, who founded pleasure-based sex education website Beducated with her husband, to discuss how our sex lives change throughout our lives.We begin the episode hearing about Mariah's experience with low libido in her 20s and how that influenced her and her partner to find new ways of approaching sex. Mariah explains that sex education is so rarely focused on women's pleasure and it wasn't until she heard about tantric practice that she became aware of the many ways for how to pleasure yourself or a partner.You really do learn something new every day, and so part of Beducated's mission is to encourage people to continue learning about sex and pleasure throughout their lives, so Mariah tells us about the different sexual phases you can experience throughout your life and how sex changes as you age. Just as we always talk about, establishing a sexual dialogue early on can set you up for a life of success, despite whatever changes might happen, and Mariah gives us tips for how to do that in a way that honours our sexual needs and ensures that we continue experiencing pleasure throughout our lives. Thank you so much to Mariah for joining us. You can watch her Ted talk here and sign up for Beducated with a 40% discount on the yearly package here. As always you can find us on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Facebook @sextraspodcast, on our website (http://www.sextraspodcast.com or get in contact with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We'll be back next week with the second episode of our miniseries, can't wait to see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Why Talk About Sex? (Our 100th episode!)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2023 38:52


    In the 100th (!) episode of the podcast, we reflect on why we always talk about sex, consent and relationships. We started the podcast three years ago and what we thought as 20 year olds about how we should talk about sex was very different to now, so we unpack how that's changed. It's obviously been extremely helpful for us to have close friends who talk about sex as much as you want to, but for everyone it's not that easy, so we also discuss why it can be hard to talk about sex but that it's vital to anyway. Just as it's normal to have sex - everyone does, shocker - it's also normal to talk about having sex and we need to keep doing it so that everyone feels validated to express when they feel uncomfortable or when they don't know if they're doing something wrong. Establishing that dialogue from a young age, and normalising making mistakes, can help to set us up for a life of curiosity and empowerment (particularly for LGBTQIA+ people).We hope we've helped you in some way to talk about sex in the last 100 episodes and if so it would be really helpful if you left us a review on Apple Podcasts or rating wherever you listen. Don't forget to subscribe, we have an amazing miniseries about family and parenting coming next week with some insanely insightful guests. Don't miss it- you can keep up to date on our Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Threads @sextraspodcast and also visit our website.We'll see you on Tuesday, can't wait!Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ending Celibacy & Making a Sex Bucket List (ft the Curious Girl)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2023 50:41


    More and more people are pursuing celibacy eras, but what happens when you want to start having sex again? As Honey is clearly incapable of answering that question herself, we're joined by Layla London, anonymous host of the sex podcast the Curious Girl Diaries, who made a sex bucket list and ended her self-imposed celibacy after 3.5 years.We recorded an episode with Layla over on her podcast, which you can listen to here or wherever you get your podcasts.Layla delves into what made her stop having sex in the first place, before offering tips about how to make a sex bucket list and for finding the right people to go along with it. From sex parties, to squirting and threesomes, Layla has experienced a plethora of wild experiences along the way and she leaves us with some valuable advice for jumping back into the world of sex when you've been out of the game for a while.Thank you so much to Layla for joining us this week, you can find more of her on her website and you can find us on TikTok, Instagram, Threads (!) and Facebook @sextraspodcast, or on our website. You can also get in contact with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    The Ultimatum: Queer Love Debrief

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2023 53:13


    TW: domestic abuse and toxic relationships Spoilers ahead!! We thought we'd celebrate pride month (very last minute, as always) with a discussion of the Ultimatum, Queer Love. In this episode we delve into the drama of the show and unpack why we think each of the couples were doomed to failure.Listen in as we discuss gay marriage, including why people want to even get married in the first place and how the whole premise of the show is extremely queer. We then unpack each of the final couples, answering whether we think Vanessa is a narcissist and if the queer Ultimatum is more toxic than the straight Ultimatum. We hope you enjoy this episode and that you've had an amazing Pride month. Stay tuned for more episodes now that we have more time, including a miniseries about parenthood and family relationships coming your way very soon. It's Sextras' third birthday, so if you are a regular listener it would be super helpful if you gave us a review or rating wherever you get your podcasts. You can find more of us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website, on our Patreon or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com for more. See you next time!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Putnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Am I A Lesbian? & Compulsory Heterosexuality

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2023 63:37


    Happy Lesbian Visibility Week! We're so happy to be back talking all things compulsory heterosexuality and realising you're a lesbian and we're joined by the most (!) guests we've ever had to hear about their experiences.We start the episode discussing Adrienne Rich's theory of compulsory heterosexuality, the lesbian masterdoc and how it can help you if you're wondering how to know if you're a lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or it's just compulsory heterosexuality. We tell our own experiences unpacking whether we really like men before welcoming Dani, Emily and Cassie to discuss their experiences realising they were into women.They tell us what it was like to come to terms with being gay in their own time, from their first ‘I think I'm a lesbian' to then coming out to friends and family and whether that was a difficult experience or not. They unpack how they feel about their sexuality now, whether people in their lives responded well and how they unlearned compulsory heterosexuality, plus the difficult distinction between being bisexual or suffering from the affliction of compulsory heterosexuality.We also discuss: learning you're lesbian through Orange is the New Black (a surprisingly common experience), not telling your dad you're gay (another common one), how to ‘look' lesbian (if there's really a way), the importance of representation and what they'd tell themselves as baby gays. Thank you so much to Dani, Emily and Cassie for joining us in probably the most chaotic episode to record and edit we've ever done.Apologies to you, our lovely listeners, if the sound is dodgy at times (we tried our best but guess what?! after three years we still don't know how to record!!) but, thanks to our guests, this episode is really an excellent one to listen to if you're at all questioning your sexuality. Have an amazing Lesbian Visibility Week 2023 and we will be back very soon with another episode.As always if you have anything you'd like to share with us or any questions, you can do so on our website, on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook @sextraspodcast or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. If you enjoyed please leave a review/ rating and subscribe and we'll see you very soon with another episode!Original music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Love Is Blind Season 4 Debrief

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2023 52:59


    Nothing could bring us back from a months-long hiatus faster than Love Is Blind and we are so happy to be back, delving deep into the drama of the season and breaking down each couple. Needless to say: if you haven't watched season 4 of Love Is Blind don't listen to this episode- it will spoil it (or do, if you don't care about that kind of thing).We start the episode covering what the main 'themes' of the season were, from the recurring problems amongst the couples to questions we have about the show overall. Then, we dissect the relationship trajectory of each couple from the pods to the (ahem) altar and our thoughts on how we'd react to the experiment.Maria is a seasoned reality dating TV show lover, while Honey is just vehemently in love with all things Love Is Blind, so we're excited to debut our return with this run down. Please let us know if you'd like to see more episodes like this, we can't wait to get into the Ultimatum Queer Love once it comes out (excuse the pun) and we'd love to hear your thoughts on everything that went down and anything more you'd like to hear from us in coming months.You can get in touch with us on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com or find us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. We'll be back next week with a very exciting episode make sure you subscribe to stay tuned for that and we'll speak to you then!Original music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Bisexual Attraction, Male Validation and Valuing Our Pleasure

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2023 43:12


    In this episode we wrap up the season by looking at our own experiences of pleasure and desire, discussing whether feeling desired and experiencing pleasure are compatible.We look back at what we learnt about pleasure and desire during our miniseries, from where our attraction, fantasies and turn ons come from to learning how to experience and communicate please.We discuss how the way we communicate about sex has changed over the years and if we feel like we're at a good place in our relationships with pleasure and desire. Talking about sex on the podcast is often easier for us than talking about it to a partner, so we discuss why that is and what the most difficult part of talking about sex is for each of us.As bisexual women, the way we experience desire for women versus men can be different so we discuss what that looks like and how compulsory heterosexuality has convinced us both that it's easier to be attracted to and desired by a man even though that's not true at all.We hope you've enjoyed this pleasure and desire miniseries. If you have any requests for further episodes you'd like us to do related to this series please get in touch. You can join our Patreon to continue the conversation and watch the video for each episode, or follow us @sextraspodcast on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com.We'll be back soon with a new miniseries, can't wait to see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Putnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Let's Talk (to our partner) About Sex with Keeley Rankin

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2023 49:21


    In the next episode of our pleasure and desire miniseries, we're joined by sex and relationship coach Keeley Rankin to learn how to talk to your partner about what you enjoy during sex.We begin the episode by asking what people commonly struggle with during sex and where people's fear of communicating about what they enjoy in the bedroom comes from.Keeley explains that often it is a mixture of things that prevent us from being able to talk about sex- first is that we don't know what gives us pleasure (maybe there are too many options or maybe we don't know what the options are). Secondly we don't know what language to use and what the best way to approach the conversation is, and lastly we're worried we won't be accepted or, at worst, shamed.Keeley then gives us some tips for how to talk to a partner about sex from the start of a relationship, explaining that it's good to set the precedent of having an open dialogue about sex, as well as going in to how to communicate about sex if your desires change after being with someone for a long time.Lastly, Keeley covers whether there is such a thing as sexual compatibility (you'll have to listen to find out) and if communication can help with that or not.We hope you enjoy this episode, thank you so much to Keeley for joining us. You can find more of her on her website. As always you know where to find us, @sextraspodcast on Facebook, TikTok and Instagram and on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can also get in touch via email sextraspodcast@gmail.com or join our Patreon to watch all of the podcasts as full length videos (with deleted content) and to get a free sticker.See you next time!Original music by Sacha PuttnamProduced by Mable Productions Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Female Anatomy & the Orgasm Gap with Dr Marashi MD

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2023 52:54


    In the second episode of our pleasure and desire miniseries we're joined by Dr Amir Marashi, MD, FACS, FACOG, Founder of Cerē, the first anatomically aligned vibrator, to talk all about female anatomy and female pleasure. If you've not already joined our Patreon, you will want to for this episode so you can watch the full video with Dr Marashi, who has a whole load of models to demonstrate what we talk about throughout the episode!We begin by hearing about how Dr Marashi started learning about female pleasure while being brought up in Iran, where women are subject to virginity tests and female pleasure is rarely talked about. He tells us about how doctors are taught about female anatomy and how this contributes to general misinformation about female pleasure and the orgasm gap.Having conducted research into female pleasure and the anatomy of the clitoris, Dr Marashi knows that understanding female anatomy can help with arousal and close the orgasm gap, and he tells us how women and men can get to better know this and improve communication about what gives women pleasure. He also teaches us a bit about the female anatomy and what sex positions are most pleasurable for people with a vulva to improve clitoral stimulation.Finally, we discuss how society feels a lot of shame about the vulva, and the harmful impact this has on normalising women's pain with periods and their vulva, and how encouraging conversations about women's bodies and pleasure fights this stigma and helps save women's lives.We hope you enjoy the episode. Thank you so much to Dr Marashi for joining us, we learnt an incredible amount! If you want to learn more you can find him on TikTok @nycgyno or visit https://getcere.com to find out more about the first anatomically aligned clitoral vibrator!As always, you know where to find us, on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website, join our Patreon for access to the full video for each episode and bonus content and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts to make sure you never miss an episode.We'll see you next week for more of our pleasure and desire miniseries!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Good Sex: Does What We Desire Give Us Pleasure? (With Catherine Roach)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 50:02


    Welcome to our pleasure and desire miniseries! In this episode we're joined by the wonderful Catherine Roach, professor of gender and cultural studies at the University of Alabama and author of the book Good Sex: Transforming America Through the New Gender and Sexual Revolution to talk all about what society teaches us about pleasure and how beauty standards determine who and what we find desirable.We begin the episode by defining what good sex actually is, does it refer to societal standards for what sex should look like or is it more focused on pleasure? Catherine explores whether we have any control over what we find desirable, and how much this might be impacted be societal norms like beauty standards and the porn we watch.Beauty standards are harmful when it comes to our desire, because of how tied they are to gender, sexuality, age and race, and so Catherine tells us how we can begin to detach ourselves from what we should view as desirable and to tune into what gives us pleasure personally, particularly if you're a woman.We then look at social media and beauty standards, and whether it's helping improve conversations around what we view as desirable or not, and also how conversations about pleasure and desire on social media and in popular culture impact everyone, not just women.Finally, we unpack how we can have more diversity in conversations about sex, from moving away from unrealistic beauty standards for men and women, to understanding how our bodies work and what personally gives us pleasure, as well as examining what good sex means to us and should mean more broadly in society.Thank you so much to Catherine for joining us, if you enjoyed the episode please go check out her book Good Sex. As always, you know where to find us— on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com, email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or join our Patreon to watch the full video episode, get access to exclusive bonus content and join our community to continue having these wonderful conversations.We'll see you next week, when we're joined by Dr Amir Marashi to hear how understanding the female anatomy can help to improve our pleasure.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Celibacy Eras, Long Distance Relationships & Moving in With Your Boyfriend

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2023 32:38


    Welcome to 2023! The start of this year marks a lot of changes for us, as Maria is moving to Paris tomorrow so this is our last episode recorded in our beautiful studio :( to watch the episode in full go join our Patreon (you get a ton of other benefits too!) In this episode we decided to have a look back at the things we learnt about sex and relationships in 2022, and what our relationship and sex goals are for the coming year, as well as doing a brief and questionable ins and outs list of our dating prediction for 2023. We start the episode talking about Honey's year of no sex and what the benefits have been. She's in two minds about her celibacy era, wanting both to leave it behind and also feeling very comfortable in it, so we discuss everything she's learnt about herself from her boundaries to crushing on people unlike ever before in her life. We also discuss how Honey's feelings about men have affected her dating habits in 2022 and that she wants to really embrace her bisexuality and date more women in 2023.Maria obviously has very different sex goals for 2023 than Honey, mainly because she's actually having sex and is about to move in with her boyfriend so she'll be having a lot more, so we discuss what those are and also what she's learnt from the past year of being in a long distance relationship. Finally, we end the episode discussing our impromptu ins and outs list for dating and sex in 2023, including everyone spontaneously deleting dating apps to more people eloping. We'd love to hear if you have any sex and dating goals for 2023, or if you have any ideas about what might be general trends. You can get in touch with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, on TikTok, Facebook or Instagram @sextraspodcast, or join our Patreon to continue having conversations we have on the pod. We can't wait for what the year has to bring, we'll see you soon for our pleasure miniseries!!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Making and Keeping Friends with Shasta Nelson

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2022 68:25


    Welcome back to the final episode of our friendship miniseries! In this episode we're joined by female friendship expert and author of Frientimacy, Shasta Nelson to talk all about making and maintaining friends.If you'd rather watch the podcast you can find the whole video episode on our Patreon: https://patreon.com/sextraspodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_linkWe start the episode by asking Shasta why people have difficulty making friends and hear some different ways of making friends. Shasta explains that most people don't know how to make friends in a meaningful way, or realise that making friends requires a lot of effort, so we talk about what not to do when making friends.We discuss where to make friends as an adult (ie. outside of education, which many people struggle with) and Shasta names the three pillars of any good adult friendship and what we can do if we have a problem with our friends in one of those areas.It obviously wouldn't be an episode of Sextras without these, so we had to ask Shasta about how love languages and attachment styles affect our friendships and how that influences whether we feel valued as a friend and how we show affection towards our friends.Thank you so much to Shasta for joining us for our final episode of the friendship miniseries, it was certainly very informative for us but we hope it was for all our listeners too! You can find out more about Shasta on her website https://www.shastanelson.com and make sure to buy any of her three books.As always you can find more of us on Tiktok, Instagram or Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or JOIN OUR PATREON community for access to the full video episode, behind the scenes content and bonus episodes https://patreon.com/sextraspodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link.Thank you for listening, we'll be back in a couple of weeks with our period miniseries!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    What Do You Expect From A Friend?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2022 51:34


    Welcome back to our friendship miniseries! This week we started off talking about how to bring up conflict with a friend, and ended up talking about what we look for in friendship.We began the episode asking whether you find it more difficult to bring up problems with a friend or with a romantic partner, and discussing our own experiences bringing up conflict with each other.We then discuss what you should expect from a friend, and when it's okay to bring things up if you friend isn't fulfilling your expectations. There are different boundaries around when it's acceptable to bring up something that's a problem with the friendship itself and something about them as a person that you have a problem with.We also cover what kind of people we choose to surround ourselves with— obviously we don't expect our friends to be perfect people but we discuss whether it's important to us for our friends to have the same values as us.This is one of the few episodes where we've change our own minds about something by the end of the episode, we hope we change how you think about friendship too!We'd love to hear more from you about your friendships. You can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or join our Patreon community where you'll get access to the full video episode, bonus and behind-the-scenes content and even get a free sticker.Next week we're joined by female friendship expert Shasta Nelson, we look forward to seeing you then!Original music by Sacha PuttnamProduced by Mable Productions Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    When Friendships Become More Than Friendship

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022 60:11


    JOIN OUR PATREON community to continue getting involved in these conversations and to get access to full raw video footage of each episode and exclusive bonus content: Welcome to our first episode of our first ever miniseries!! This miniseries is all about friendship and we're kicking it off with an episode about what happens when you're more than friends with someone.We start the episode with a segment where we ask if you've ever caught feelings for a friend and if you've ever had sex with a friend, plus if you would sleep with one of your current friends.We then get into the main episode where we ask whether it's ever okay to sleep with a friend, and break down everything that could go very wrong or very right if you choose to go down that path. We ask whether sex with a friend has to mean something and how your opinion on this might impact how your friendship could change after having sex.We also ask how to identify if you have feelings for a friend and how to distinguish between platonic and romantic or sexual feelings for a friend. It can be quite hard to tell sometimes, and lots of us have had a crush on a friend, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, but it's also important to ask ourselves when you should voice these feelings and when they should be kept very quiet (like when they're ahem in a relationship).We then get onto deeper topics like if it's ethical to be friends with someone if you have an ulterior motive of trying to sleep with them, or if you have feelings and hope they'll be convinced to have feelings for you in the process of being friends. We also discuss the dynamics between male and female friends and the expectation of sex in those friendships, plus the whole made up concept of the friend zone.We hope you enjoy the first episode of this miniseries! We'll see you next week to talk about conflict with friends, before the last episode where we talk to female friendship expert Shasta Nelson about how to make and maintain friends.You can find more of us and get involved over on our Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.Thanks for listening, we'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Catching Up Before The New Season

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2022 32:19


    Welcome back to Sextras! Your favourite sex and relationship podcast is back for season 3, baby, and to make up for a very long season break we've got a catch up episode where we tell you about our summers (and now...autumns) and outline everything that's happening this season.We're changing up the format slightly because (as you'll know if you're living your 20s with us) things are slightly hectic right now, so we'll be releasing episodes less frequently and in miniseries. We're kicking off the season with a miniseries about friendship, from toxic friendships to making new friends and what to do when friendship becomes more than just friendship.We also get into what we're doing with our lives—Honey just started a Masters and Maria's preparing to move to Paris in the New Year. Then we get into Honey's dating fatigue (nothing new) and voluntary celibacy, plus Maria spills the details of travelling with her boyfriend and her struggles with a long distance relationship.We have lots of amazing guests and episodes lined up for you in season 3 and we can't wait to get into it, we've missed you guys! You can also now become a patron of Sextras over on our Patreon, where we'll be posting the full video podcast from now on along with exclusive behind the scenes recordings, bonus episodes and free stickers for all our patrons. Make sure you go subscribe there and wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss out on anything coming in season 3.You can also find us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com and we'd be extremely grateful if you could share the podcast with your friends and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts. We'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Is Love Blind & Would You Ever Give An Ultimatum In A Relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2022 57:42


    We thought we'd surprise you with a little bonus episode we recorded a while ago in which we review Love Is Blind and The Ultimatum: Marry Or Move On, shows on Netflix, and talk about what they tell us about dating culture on a wider scale.We give our opinions on the concepts of the shows and the ways people act when put in those positions, and then attempt to answer the larger questions raised by the shows such as if love is blind and if it's ok to give someone an ultimatum in a relationship, particularly whether you can give an ultimatum to marry you or not. We talk about how the shows give us an insight into how pervasive monogamy is, even amongst younger generations, whether people care about appearance when dating (and why) and why anyone is looking to get married at a young age.If you've not yet watched the shows we recommend that you watch them before listening to the episode because we give spoilers! (they're also excellent entertainment).We hope you enjoy this sneaky bonus episode, and if so don't forget to subscribe so you can keep up to date with our future releases! We're currently on a season break but we'll be releasing content on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast and you can still send us your submissions or get in touch on our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.Have an amazing summer and we can't wait to hear all about it when we're back in season 3!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    2 Years of Sextras & Your Confessions

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2022 62:38


    This episode is our last of the season, so we talk about what we have learnt about relationships this season, our favourite and least favourite moments and answer all of the submissions from our listeners that we have stacked up over the past few months.We begin by giving a run down of the season- which moments stood out to us, what we've learnt, how we've changed, and spill some tea about the behind the scenes of the podcast. We point you guys in the direction of certain episodes should you be looking for advice on particular topics.Then, we move on to your stories and questions to end up the season. We're so thankful to all of you who have contributed to the season in some way, and we'd love to do more episodes in season 3 that are made up of only your submissions. This episode includes questions about one night stands, the contradiction of the Kardashians promoting body positivity, whether it's normal to masturbate to other men when you identify as straight, tips on getting back out there and blowjob tips.We hope you guys have enjoyed this season and learnt as much about relationships, sex, and yourself as we have! If you have, please keep following along and supporting as much as you can. We put in so much work, and so if you have listened to even one episode it would be so great if you could subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and if you can share with your friends or on social media.Thanks to our sponsor for this episode, The Natural Love Company, who make sustainable, vegan and cruelty free sex toys and lube. If you're listening before June 30th you can enter our giveaway to win a vibrator and lube via this quiz (hint- the answers are all somewhere on our Instagram) https://8tmk3gtuaxi.typeform.com/to/OGxWQmIJ. Otherwise, you can use the code SEXTRAS to get 15% off at www.thenaturallovecompany.com.Don't forget to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, find us on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Even though we're on a season break, we'll be updating our social media and you can keep getting in touch with us and submitting your stories on there or anonymously on our website.Have an amazing summer and we'll see you next season!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Talking With My Mum (Pt.2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2022 60:16


    We're finally back with part 2 of season 1's episode ‘Talking To My Mum,' where we spoke to Honey's mum. This week, we're joined by Maria's mum, Maria, to hear all about being a mum of four and moving from Mexico to London.We begin the episode by hearing about Maria's upbringing in Mexico and what sex education in Mexico is like. She tells us about how sex wasn't even spoken about when she was growing up and how this influenced how she wanted to talk to her own kids about sex and relationships.Then, we move on to discussing what it was like to raise children first in Mexico and then move to the UK, and the cultural differences between the two. Maria tells us about the expectations of being a mum in Mexico and how she was able to explore herself as a person more in the UK, plus the differences in talking about sex and relationships in the UK versus in Mexico.We hear about what Maria told her children about relationships and sex when they were younger and what she's learnt about herself and relationships throughout the years, ending with some advice Maria has for us and for other young people that she wishes she'd known at our age.We hope you enjoy, it was such a pleasure to be joined by Maria. Please leave us a review as we approach the end of the season, and stay tuned for some very exciting announcements coming in the next week on our social media— Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com and feel free to get in touch with us with any stories or questions for our last episode via email sextraspodcast@gmail.com.To celebrate 2 years of the podcast we're having a picnic on 25th June in Hyde Park from 1pm onwards, we'd love if you joined us! Check out our social media for more info.See you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Are Gen Z Having Less Sex? With Dr Aditi Paul

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2022 68:25


    In this week's episode we talk to the wonderful Dr Aditi Paul about her research on Gen Z hookup and dating culture. Her book The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture is out now, so please request that your local library or institution purchase it!We begin the episode by hearing about Aditi's interest in dating and hookup trends, which inspired her to begin her research on this topic. Aditi is a professor at Pace University, so we ask her if she and her colleagues have assumptions about how gen z date and have sex at uni, and if that was really accurate to what she discovered in her research.We hear how gen z use dating apps, and if they really all have sneaky links, if they're anti-relationship, and how often they're hooking up with people and with who. Aditi tells us whether sex lives of college students really have changed from previous generations, and what new terms there are to describe sex and hookup culture.Aditi also goes into safety and sex, such as how alcohol impacts the decisions students are making when it comes to sex, and if they practice protected sex. We love that Aditi's research focuses on people of colour, different genders and sexualities, and so we were of course interested to hear how sex changes amongst different groups, like whether the LGBT community use dating apps more or less than the straight community and how much sex people of colour are having in relation to stereotypes that negatively impact how they are perceived.We hope you guys enjoy the episode, thank you so much to Aditi for this informative and fun chat! Please request for your institution to purchase her book, and go find out more about her work and her on her website http://www.draditipaul.com/, and her social media @aditipaul & @iamaditipaul.As always you can find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, and Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Reddit @sextraspodcast.Don't forget to check out our sponsors, too, it really really helps us out! Get 20% off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with code SEXTRAS20. Get 10% off sustainable and beautiful sex toys at www.thenaturallovecompany.com with code SEXTRAS.See you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Talking to My Ex Girlfriend

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2022 58:36


    In this week's episode we're talking with Honey's ex girlfriend, Neha, all about their relationship and break up.We begin the episode by hearing about both sides of the relationship, from how they met to how the relationship progressively got worse and eventually how they broke up. If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you'll know that Honey has spoken about how her first relationship was quite toxic, and so we break down exactly what that looked like in a young queer relationship, and how that has affected them going forward.We reminisce on the importance of having a queer community when you're younger, and how there's not much of a model for relationships so they can often get messy. We hear how their mental health impacted the relationship, and how this meant they triggered each other whilst dating, and warn against the dangers of codependency in a relationship. Maria also gives her perspective on the relationship from the outside, though she was very much involved at the time, and how it seemed to disintegrate.We also cover how the break up eventually happened- they did break up and get back together several times- and the difficulties that came along with seeing your ex every day when you go to the same school. Lastly, we cover how they went from exes to friends, and the progression of making up after a break up and realising what you've done wrong and what you've learnt from a relationship.Listen in to hear us cover all sorts of things, from staying friends with an ex, to coming out as queer, to toxic relationships and different sides of the same break up.We hope you enjoy the episode, we really enjoyed recording with Neha and we hope you're inspired to have a similar conversation with your ex, should it be right for your situation!Go follow Neha on Instagram @nehaclimbs, and you can find us @sextraspodcast on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok, our website www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20.Please leave us a rating wherever you're listening or watching and we look forward to seeing you next week!Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Should Love Be Difficult? Love Languages & Expectations

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 55:15


    When it comes to love, there are some people that believe love should be difficult, and some that it should be easy. In this week's episode we attempt to answer if love should be easy or hard, discussing how to communicate your expectations and how to show love to your partner depending on their love language.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners if they think love should be hard, as well as hearing some things they are willing to compromise and things they are absolutely not, as well as what expectations they know they need to have met in a relationship.We then get into our thoughts on expectations in relationships. We discuss the narrative that's sold to us in movies about romantic love and if it's possible to meet someone who miraculously meets all of your expectations and knows how to show you love. We stress the importance of communication and talk about love languages, and if your partner can know and act on your love language without having to ask what it is. Sometimes we don't have the capacity to show people love in the way their love language requires, and so we talk about what you should do if you have unfulfilled expectations in relationships, and what normal expectations in relationships are.Ultimately, we believe that your main love language is something you should expect to have met in your relationship. It can be difficult to know whether you have too high expectations in relationships, but that is there is always at least one thing that you need from your partner in order to feel loved, and it's reasonable to expect that they fulfil that for you! We often make excuses for our partners when it comes to things we'd like them to do but that they won't, but we want to discuss if love should be hard work and what our limit is when it comes to not having certain needs met in relationships, and when you should walk away. There is a myth that relationships are hard work, and they can definitely be worth this work, however you shouldn't put up with not feeling loved or as if your partner isn't making effort, because you can always find someone who is willing to make that effort to fulfil the things you need!We love you, and we hope you can all recognise that you are worthy of receiving love in ways that truly make you feel loved. If someone makes you feel like loving you is a chore, it could be time to reconsider the relationships and whether you can find someone who can make you feel a little more loved.We hope you enjoy the episode, if you do please leave us a review and subscribe! You can find more of us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Reddit @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com. There are lots of exciting announcements coming up as we approach the end of the season, so keep up to date by following our social media!Mentions in this episode include “The Distribution of Chapman's Love Languages in Couples: An Exploratory Cluster Analysis” (Bland & McQueen, 2018), which you can find here:https://www.millersville.edu/psychology/files/bland/bland-lovelanguages.pdf. To find out your love language, do a quiz such as this one: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language.We'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    How Friendships Change

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 55:05


    Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it is a fact of life that most friendships change over time. This week we want to talk about just that, and our experience with how friendships change in your 20s.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you guys if you feel like your friendships have changed, and if so how. Then we did a poll asking what is worse— a friend break up or drifting apart— and if you've made any new friends recently.Though some friendships will never die, it is an inevitable fact of life that as we as individuals grow and evolve, so too will our friendships, and sometimes this comes at the cost of certain friendships, and sometimes this means that you grow and evolve with your friends. No matter what, friendships are very important relationships in our lives and so when a friendship ends it can be sad and confusing, leaving you feeling lonely or as if there's something wrong with you. This can even be the case when friendships change, and we really wanted to acknowledge the complexities of friendships, which don't have the same set of rules and expectations as our romantic relationships.We talk about how our friendships have changed over our lives, from how they've changed since college. We explain how when we notice friendships have changed we might feel a certain kind of way, but not necessarily because we blame anyone or because it's anyone's fault, but more because we worry what this says about ourselves and what it means for the future of our friendships. But friendship is malleable! Friends challenge each other, and grow together, and it would be boring if they stayed the same throughout our lives. We need to give each other the room to grow, and if that means we have our own things going on, and even eventually growing apart, then that's okay.Friendships change! We need to learn to live with it. We hope we encourage you to reflect a little bit on how your own friendships have changed, and whether that really says anything about you, or if it's an inevitable part of life. All this to say, treasure your friends, and put the work into your friendships that you want to be reciprocated. Like any relationship, friendships need tending.We hope you enjoy the episode. If so, please give us a follow over on our social media, we have a few exciting announcements coming up that you won't want to miss! Find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.We can't wait to see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Sexting, Nudes & FaceTime Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 55:46


    Trigger warning: mention of SA at the end of the episode.This week we're talking about all things sex + phone related: from sexting, taking and sending nudes and having facetime or phone sex.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you what the best sext or nude you've sent or received is, and your tips for taking nudes and sexting. Then, we move on to discussing our own experiences with taking nudes and sexting, and if we enjoy doing them.Honey gives us some facetime sex tips, and we explain why phone sex is good for long distance relationships. Maria gives us some tips for taking nudes, from poses to lighting, and we discuss some of the dangers of sexting, taking nudes and facetime sex. Though it's not something we should feel ashamed of, or should have to even think about when it comes to partaking in these activities, sadly there are people out there who will betray your trust and share explicit photos with others, and we need to do our best to break the stigma around taking naked photos (because let's be honest-everyone's done it!) and having them leaked. The person doing the leaking is the one who should be shamed, rather than the subject of the photos, but we want you guys to protect yourselves no matter what and never feel pressured into sending nudes or making a sex tape, or anything when it comes to sex!You should take nudes for yourself, and only if you really want to. Never do it for someone when you're getting nothing out of it, and we do think there is good to come out of taking nudes, like making you feel more confident and sexy in your own body- and who doesn't want that?!We hope you guys enjoy this sexy episode, and you feel inspired to take some good nudes for yourself. To find more in future about sexting and nude taking tips, follow us on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook at Sextras Podcast. Send us an email if you have any experiences or tips you'd like to share at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or find us through our website www.sextraspodcast.com.See you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    How To Give Relationship Advice To A Friend

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2022 54:00


    This week we're discussing whether other people's relationships are your business. Though it can be helpful to get relationship advice, sometimes people offer unsolicited relationship advice when you feel as though it's none of their business, so we break down when it's acceptable to give relationship advice, who it's acceptable to do it with and the reasons why you might comment on someone else's relationship.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you whether you think it's appropriate for other people to comment on your relationship. We then hear what the most helpful, and unhelpful, relationship advice you've received is, and a little bit more about when you guys think it's acceptable for you to comment on someone's relationship, or for them to comment on yours.We then move on to the who, what, when and why of it all. We being by asking who can give relationship advice? We ponder whether certain friends can, and if it's okay for random family members to give you advice, before discussing when and why you should give relationship advice- for example if someone asks for help or asks for your specific take on a situation, or if it's alright to always have an opinion on your friends partners. We tell you about our own experiences offering each other advice, or what we think is helpful advice, and how to set boundaries when your friends and family are providing you with unhelpful commentary on your relationship. Finally, we discuss if you think your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, and how to deal with that by offering them your stance and trying to help them see the situation as it really is.We hope you enjoy the episode, that you seek relationship advice whenever you truly need it, and that you don't receive any advice that makes you feel worse about your relationship than you need to!Don't forget to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, and you can send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or an anonymous submission on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can also watch the podcast on YouTube, where all the episodes are categorised so if you're looking for an episode on a specific topic you'll know where to find it!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Life After Uni: Maintaining Relationships, Moving Out & Travelling

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2022 41:31


    Life after graduating uni is very confusing— for the first time in your life, you might not know what you're going to be doing with your life for the foreseeable future. It can be easy to feel lost after university- the uncertainty of where you're going to be living, your friendships, and your relationships can really get you down, and so this week we're talking all about it.It's been a year since we graduated uni, so we thought we'd have a little catch up. We tell you guys about Maria's long distance relationship after uni, and our living situations. Both of us moved home after uni, so we discuss how to decide when you should move out, if you should move in with friends in your 20s or if it's ok to live with a partner, or at least plan to live with a partner. Honey tells us about her recent trip to the US and how it really helped with her independence, and the difficulty of finding a job after uni. We also cover friendships after uni, and the trials and tribulations of trying to maintain them when, probably for the first time in your life, you're all in very different phases, living in different places, and with different goals.We really want to do an episode about making and maintaining friends after uni, so if you or anyone you know has a relevant story or some tips, please send them our way!You can find more of us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at Sextras Podcast. Watch the podcast on YouTube, and subscribe there or wherever you get your podcasts, and send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or an anonymous confession on our website www.sextraspodcast.com!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Is Cheating Forgivable?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2022 49:54


    This week we're talking about something that isn't particularly pleasant for anyone to talk about, but something that definitely needs to be acknowledged when discussing sex and relationships: cheating.We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from you guys about whether you've ever been cheated on, or ever cheated on anybody, and if so what happened, to understand a little bit more of how many people have experienced cheating and how it affects relationships. We also ask if people would break up with someone because of cheating, to which 92% of people said they would.We then move on to discussing our own experiences with cheating, and Maria tells us the story of when she cheated on her boyfriend, how that affected her mental health and how she told him she had cheated, as well as the aftermath. Though we don't want to sympathise with cheaters, we think it's important to tell how cheating affects the cheater as well as the person who was cheated on. We explore some hypothetical cheating situations, and attempt to understand how we'd react to them, but ultimately decide it is difficult to say unless you're in the moment. Lastly, we talk about what counts as cheating, and how to set those boundaries with a partner from the beginning, so that you know if they consider online cheating as cheating, or if they consider microcheating something worthy of breaking up over.We hope you enjoy the episode, if it was helpful to you in some way please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts. You can reach out to us or find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, and support us by making a purchase from the sponsor of this video, Manscaped!Have an amazing week and we'll see you next Tuesday

    Social Media, Relationships & Mental Health

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2022 44:10


    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It's time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life!This week we're talking all about social media— the good and the bad, and particularly how it affects our relationships with ourselves and our most important relationship- ourselves!We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from your guys' feelings about social media, including whether you like it overall and what you hate the most about it. Mostly, people seem to hate that social media is often a facade, or a presentation of the best parts of our lives, so we talk about how that aspect of social media can be extremely damaging to our mental health and our self esteem.We then move on to discussing social media and relationships, attempting to answer the questions that are most often asked when it comes to dating and social media, such as if your partner should post you on their social media, and if so when, and if they're not what it means. We also discuss the different ways couples showcase their relationships on different social media apps, and express why we prefer TikTok as a platform because of its video format.Then, we tell you guys a bit about our personal social media consumption and how it affects our mental health, and attempt to give some tips for how to use social media, or at least how to manage your outlook when constantly taking in hundreds of peoples' lives in order to stay grounded in your own.Social media definitely has its dangers and disadvantages, but if you're smart about your outlook on it and don't place an extreme amount of importance on it, you might save your mental health and get a bit of entertainment along the way, too. Don't forget to subscribe and share the podcast with a friend, it really helps us out! You can also help us out by using code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com to get 20% off + Free Shipping! Please do feel free to contact us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, and follow us on social media (Instagram and Facebook) at Sextras Podcast! — WE ARE LOOKING FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR A BONUS EPISODE, PLEASE SEND US YOUR SEX/ DATING/ CONFIDENCE STORIES AND QUESTIONS AT ANYWHERE ABOVE, OR EVEN ASK US QUESTIONS ABOUT OURSELVES AND HOSTING A PODCAST! — Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Finding The Best Type of Contraception for Me

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2022 49:17


    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It's time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life!This week we're talking all things contraception! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear whether you guys are contraception, and if so if you use hormonal contraception or non hormonal/ barrier methods of contraception.We then move on to discussing our own experiences with contraception to show the different ways the same form of contraception can affect everyone differently. We talk through the different forms of contraception that are available and give our opinions on which ones have been best for us (disclaimer: we are not medical professionals!) and how we've decided what works for us.We wish you all the best with finding the best contraception for you, should you want to use it, but please do not use the pull out/ withdrawal/ rhythm method because it is simply not effective.Don't forget to share the podcast with a friend, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, watch the podcast on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.Produced by Mable ProductionOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Sex Worker Rights Are Human Rights with Chanelle Gallant

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2022 58:12


    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It's time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! #ad #manscapedpodIn this week's episode we are joined by lovely guest Chanelle Gallant, who has been a sex worker rights activist for 20 years. We begin the episode by hearing how Chanelle got into sex work activism, and why sex work activism is so important, not just for sex workers but for wider society too (hint— sex workers rights are basic human rights!)We get deep into why sex work organising is so important, and how it is a truly feminist space that is more intersectional than any other. Chanelle tells us of the optimism she has for grassroots organising, and how everyone can get involved in sex work activism. We then move on to what sex work means to sex workers, and how the money it provides them with often gets them out of situations that the government wouldn't. Chanelle explains how the very criminalisation of sex work creates unnecessary stigma around sex acts that doesn't exist when it's unpaid, and how that stigma is fed by larger systems of oppression at work. Chanelle tells us how sex is often a form of unpaid work that people perform as a service to men, and we theorise what sex worker rights would look like if rich white men were doing it.We then get into the policing of sex workers, from the physical use of police forces during ‘anti-trafficking raids' to the more subtle ways state power restricts sex workers' rights. We touch briefly on OnlyFans, and how the activism and organisation surrounding the platform was largely focused on white and cisgender sex workers, and Chanelle explains how the same level of organisation can, and should, be easily applied to all sex workers, regardless of gender, race, and citizen status.We end the episode by discussing whether sex itself can be liberating, and whether our sexuality defines us (essentially— can we fuck ourselves to freedom?).We really hope you enjoy this episode, we've been really looking forward to you guys being able to hear it and to meeting Chanelle! Please sign up for Chanelle's newsletter to hear more about the work that she does (www.chanellegallant.com), and go find your local or national sex worker rights organisation to fight for the decriminalisation and protection of sex workers, which you can do on https://nswp.org/. We would also highly recommend you read 'Pleasure Activism' (particularly Chanelle's chapter!) and check out Chanelle's 'Protest and Pleasure' series here: https://xtramagazine.com/series/protest-and-pleasure.As always you can find more of us or reach out to us with any questions/ stories/ comments on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us on sextraspodcast@gmail.com & find all our episodes and resources on our website www.sextraspodcast.com.Don't forger to subscribe and leave us a review, and we'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Is My Attraction Normal?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2022 50:03


    In this episode we talk about attraction and the way we experience it. There are different types of attraction, and different people experience attraction differently, so discuss why that might be and how we've reacted to our attraction.To start, we asked how our listeners in a poll, ‘How are you attracted to people? Do you ten to like people straight away and develop crushes easily, or do you have to get to know someone first for that attraction to grow?' Our followers were split down the middle, just like us. Some shared some of their attraction confusion, ‘if I get to know them its bad because I can make them a friend and that completely puts me off', whilst some others thought that having a friendship that grows into attraction is most natural to them.We then begin to map out the way we experience attraction. Honey describes her first relationship and how shared experiences and friendship grew into attraction, and how in her second relationship the attraction was also somewhat of a slow burner. In times when she's been single, she barely experiences random attraction at all, unless confronted with it. Maria shares the opposite, she's always crushing on someone, chasing someone, or with someone. (Classic anxious attachment) We discuss how the way we experience attraction has impacted the way we approach making romantic or sexual connections. Maria is more active in her attraction, whilst Honey usually lets people come to her. (Probably because of our attachment styles) But that isn't to say that we only experience one type of attraction and that's that: we all make all kinds of connections with all kinds of people and sometimes that attraction could be physical attraction, or sexual attraction, whereas others it might be emotional attraction or romantic attraction. We hope you are feeling attracted to our episode the episode! ;) You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.comPlease don't forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We'll see you next Tuesday.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Why Learn Your Attachment Style?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2022 63:44


    In this episode we talk all about attachment styles from how to know your attachment style, to how attachment styles effect relationships, to some tips to change your attachment style. Obviously we are not experts, but we do know a fair bit about attachment styles from our own experience (plus we've done a lotttt of research).We begin the episode by breaking down insecure attachment styles: Maria tells us about what an anxious attachment style is, and Honey tells us about what an avoidant attachment style is (hint: those are each of their attachment styles).We also cover the other two attachment styles: fearful avoidant and secure, before moving on to how these symptoms have manifested for us.We attempt to give some tips for healing insecure attachment styles, which includes at the very least recognising the symptoms of your attachment style and trying to unlearn your triggers over time. Then, in case we hadn't already convinced you just how important knowing your attachment style is, we explain how knowing our attachment styles have helped us.We end the episode with some polls we did a while ago where we asked you guys whether you know your attachment style (we'd be surprised if, after listening to at least one other episode of our podcast, you didn't) and if it's helped you in any way.Even though it can, at first, be overwhelming to learn your attachment style (one friend told us recently that she felt attacked after an attachment style quiz which ‘read her to filth') it's definitely important to understand how it can affect the way you form attachments with people, and even impact who you choose as a partner in future!We hope you enjoy the episode, we have plenty more information on our social media about attachment styles. You can do the test for attachment style mentioned in the episode here:https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/May we all become securely attached!You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com and visit our website www.sextraspodcast.comProduced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Body Hair Is Normal

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2022 54:07


    From before puberty, before we grow our first armpit hair, leg hair, pubic hair, women are raised to understand that this should all be removed. This week we sit down to question why, to point to the ways in which we've been taught to have shame about our bodies and its hair, and really examine the ways in which these messages of control have impacted us.We begin by hearing some of the messages our listeners heard about pubes and body hair growing up, (essentially to ‘shave', that the hair is ‘bad and should be removed' and that men don't find it sexy). Some listeners even shared the ways in which these messages impacted them: causing them to question whether their body hair and pubes are bad, or desperately google how to clean shave ‘down there', and live with razor burns and irritation and thus even more insecurities.We then get more into our own experiences and memories of getting body hair. Maria shares how shaving was engrained as an expectation, and how she was shamed by male figures specifically if there was any body hair showing. We discuss how its interesting that now we can look at shaving as an option when a lot of the time it doesn't really feel like a choice.We continue to question society's messages about shaving and ask whether it's okay for a partner to express a preference on their partner's pubic hair grooming, and whether it's okay to ask your girlfriend to shave her pubes. Ultimately we conclude that it's not, but pubes politics are complicated, as Maria hypocritically confesses she shaves for her boyfriend even though she doesn't like shaving. Patriarchy 1, Maria 0.We update everyone on our pube status (share how we personally groom our pubes) and we encourage you to share your pube status with us!We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.comPlease don't forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We'll see you next Tuesday.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Taking It Day By Day For 11 Years Together (with Dee)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2022 60:13


    This week we're talking to Dee about long term relationships. We went to school with Dee, and she's been with her boyfriend for 11 years (since she was 15) so we ask her about the ins and outs of being in a long term relationship when young.We begin by hearing how she and her boyfriend met, or how they began dating, and later how Dee realised that she was in love and in it for the long run. We then ask about the pressures of being in a long term relationship in your teenage years and early 20s, from dating long distance at university to seeing lots of couples around you break up, to the expectations from your peers to sleep around. Dee tells us what those milestones have looked like for her relationship in the long run, and how she's responded to the pressures of her friends and family. She then tells a crazy story about how they once nearly broke up over chlamydia.Naturally, both Dee and her boyfriend have changed over the course of time, so we hear how this has impacted their relationship and how they've managed to maintain their independence while also making time for one another. Lastly, we discuss the importance of sex in their relationship, before hearing some of Dee's tips for a long term relationship. Ultimately, Dee tells us that the success to their long lasting relationship has been to take it day by day.We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.comPlease don't forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We'll see you next Tuesday.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Fingers, Hands, Mouths and Tongues

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2022 58:12


    In this episode we get deep into developing a philosophy for fingering and handjobs. We attempt to unpack whether handjobs are something any penis-owning person enjoys, or thinks someone else can do better than them, and try to understand their place in sex as a whole.We begin with some polls where we ask people with penises about their handjob preferences and people with vulvas about their fingering preferences (namely whether they prefer clitoral or penetrative fingering). Then, we move on to the different roles fingering and handjobs play in sex, and debate which is harder (ha) skill-wise for people to do. Finally, we give some tips for fingering and handjobs and foreplay as a whole.We hope you enjoy this episode, we think it gives a rather accurate insight into what is going on in our brains, and attempting to establish an understanding of what penis-owning people are thinking.You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode and leave us a review! It really helps us out. We'll see you next Tuesday!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Break Up Lessons Learnt

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2022 59:56


    This week we're talking all about the lessons learnt from breakups. When you're going through a break up it can seem like it will never end, and you'll most likely be in a place of thinking this is the most pain you've ever been in, but we promise once you get through that stage (and it will end!) you'll be able to see all the things you learnt in both the relationship and the break up. We also cover what we think should happen in the aftermath of the break up, from whether you should follow the no contact rule, to if the person who breaks up with you owes you an apology.We begin the episode with a segment where we hear the lessons you guys have learnt from a breakup, before telling you our own lessons. We try to explain how our experiences have been very different: Honey has exclusively broken up with people, and Maria has exclusively been broken up with, so we divulge the different ways we have reflected on the relationship after a break up, as well as attempting to unpack how we move through stages of grief in a breakup, like blaming the other person and then thinking you've made a mistake; trying to cling on to them and not wanting to move on.We then discuss the conversations you have, and what not to do after a break up— such as whether or not to text your ex or if you should stay friends with an ex. We have a couple of other episodes about break ups— ‘Can You Be Friends With An Ex?' & ‘The Break Up Process'— where we get more into these topics, but we wanted to talk a bit more about the idea of what is owed, or what some people think is owed to them, when one person ends the relationship, the idea of blame and self reflection in attempts to learn something about yourself after a relationship ends.We hope you enjoyed the episode! If you're going through a break up, you can do this! You'll eventually reach a stage of realising there is so much to take from a relationship, and we hope some of our tips help. If you'd like to get in contact with us or find more of us, you can find us on:Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcastEmail: sextraspodcast@gmail.comwww.sextraspodcast.comWe'll see you next Tuesday!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Non- Monogamy, Toxic Relationships & Jealousy with Rachel Krantz

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2022 65:51


    This week we're joined by journalist, and author of the memoir ‘Open,' Rachel Krantz to talk all about open relationships, toxic relationships, bisexuality and jealousy.We begin the episode by hearing what inspired Rachel's book— she was dating a non monogamous man, who gave her the freedom to explore an open relationship and who her relationship with later became toxic.We then move on to learning about the different types of open relationship- from having a primary partner to practicing relationship anarchy. Rachel tells us about how she dealt with jealousy in her first non monogamous relationship, as well as giving us some tips for how to start a non monogamous relationship if you're new to the world of polyamory, and some things monogamous people can take from polyamorous relationships even if they're not looking to get into one. We end the episode with asking Rachel about her bisexuality and how that interacts with her polyamory.Thank you so much to Rachel for joining us this week, we had a truly informative conversation and we hope you all enjoy it too! Please buy Rachel's book ‘Open' and go follow her on Instagram or Twitter.You can follow us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com or find us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com.Thanks and we'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Porn, Sexual Fantasies and Wanking

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2022 65:34


    What do you think about when you masturbate? This week we're talking all about watching porn and masturbating, or alternatively, imagining our sexual fantasies when we masturbate, as well as the ethics of watching porn.We begin the episode by asking our followers what they think about or watch when they masturbate, and if they remember the first time they masturbated. In true Sextras fashion, we look back at how our ideas about masturbating and porn were formed, from the first time we saw porn (whether by accident or on purpose) to not realising what we were doing was masturbating at a young age.We delve into our own sexual fantasies and whether watching porn and masturbating sets unrealistic expectations for sex. We also talk about whether we personally enjoy watching porn, and what our problems with porn are. Unfortunately, as women, we have experienced guys basing their sexual fantasies around what they've seen in porn and attempting to recreate that, and so we try to unpack if porn is bad for our sex lives or not.We all have sexual fantasies, and it's important to let them play out and have fun sex lives, but at the same time we need to be really mindful of whether or not porn is bad for relationships with those we have sex with and with women, or anyone who's negatively impacted by how they're portrayed in porn, in the world around us.Please go check out our social media, we have tons more content on there that you might find interesting! You can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook Sextras Podcast or on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, and leave us a review wherever you're listening. We look forward to seeing you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Mindful Masturbation + Sexual Meditation (with Sayra Player)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2022 36:29


    This week we're talking to our wonderful guest Sayra Player (Founder of Guided By Glow; actor; and writer) all about sexual meditation.For women, it can be difficult to find erotic content that turns you on, especially if you have a busy mind. Sayra founded Guided By Glow in an attempt to encourage women and couples to have mindful sex practices.In this episode, we ask what sexual meditation is, before diving into how meditation is so powerful for our lives as a whole, but particularly for our sex lives, when we can get stuck in routines or find it hard to be present during sex.Sayra then tells us a bit about how sexual power can be a tool for transformation in our wider lives, and how sexual meditation can really help with this.Sayra has very generously given Sextras listeners $20 off a years' membership to Guided By Glow, making it $27.99 for a year of unlimited guided masturbations. Find it on the App Store or on https://guidedbyglow.com/Get all the benefits of masturbation and meditation at once, and increase your sexual power at the same time! Even if you, like Maria, might be sceptical about meditation, it's worth giving it a go.Thank you so much for listening. You can find more content about sex, dating and self love, or contact us viaInstagram: @sextraspodcastFacebook: Sextras Podcastwww.sextraspodcast.comsextraspodcast@gmail.comDon't forget to subscribe and we'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    To Date or Not To Date in Your 20s

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2022 46:11


    This week we ask ourselves ‘should you date in your 20s?' For some, getting deeper into our 20s means getting further into our long term relationships, and for others being single. We discuss whether there's really a right way to live your twenties: single or dating.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our followers whether they care more about freedom or finding love in their 20s; whether they'd rather meet the person they're going to end up with now or live out the rest of their 20s single; and hear more of their thoughts about this dilemma.We decide that there isn't really an answer to this question, but we wanted to examine it more closely because so many people our age feel like they shouldn't date in their 20s to fulfil an idea that is sold to us of what our 20s should look like; indeed many people end relationships for this very reason: they feel as if dating in your 20s is pointless if you're unlikely to end up with the person, and that you might as well embrace your freedom.Navigating dating in your 20s can be difficult, but we think that in the end, it comes down to whether you think you should date for fun, or for experience, rather than for the end result. As long as you're happier in a situation than you are on the flip side, you should stick with it, and it might ultimately be good for you to make some dating mistakes in your 20s.We wish you all the best of luck! We know dating in your 20s isn't always the most fun, especially when you have to begin to consider whether you're ready to commit to the person you've been dating throughout uni going in to the real world, but we're always here if you need any tips or at least want to make yourselves feel better by hearing about our mistakes and poor judgement.If you enjoyed the episode, or if it resonated with you in some way, we'd love to hear from you. You can contact us (and find more content) on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Sextras Podcast on Facebook, YouTube and Geneva; www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Leave us a rating/review and we'll see you next week!!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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