Podcasts about keeping friends

Most of us were trained to win at the game of life, deliver the results and get the promotion. Then one day, we arrive at retirement and discover that the game we were trained for isn’t the one that actually produces a flourishing life. New York Times best-selling author Daniel Coyle, joins us to discuss his new book Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment. He unpacks what five years of studying thriving communities (a Michigan deli, a major league baseball team, and a Vermont town that keeps producing Olympians) revealed about how good lives are actually built. We discuss: Why flourishing is a team sport in an age of individualism The difference between task attention and relational attention, and why the switch matters Why visioning may be the most useful tool for people approaching retirement Why we should probe for retirement rather than plan for it Yellow doors, the rule of surprise, and the two questions Dan uses as a personal compass If you’re approaching a transition, or you’re in the bewildering middle of one, this is a conversation worth your time and reflection. _________________________ Bio Daniel Coyle is the New York Times best-selling author of nine books, including Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment, The Culture Code (which was named Best Business Book of the Year by Bloomberg & Business Insider), and the Talent Code. He is a contributing editor for Outside magazine, and has seved an advisor to many high-performing organizations including the Navy SEALS, Microsoft, Google and he also works as a special advisor to the Cleveland Guardians. Dan lives in Cleveland, Ohio during the school year and in Homer, Alaska, during the summer with his wife Jen, and their four daughters. ______________________________ For More on Daniel Coyle Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment Website ______________________________ Wise Quotes On Games versus Gardens “Life isn’t a game to win. It’s a garden to grow.” On Flourshing & Community “All flourishing is mutual. We only become our best selves through and with other people…Who do I feel most alive with? What am I helping to grow?” On the Value of No “If you can’t say no, your yes is worthless.” ___________________________ Retirement Podcast Conversations You’ll Also Love The Good Life – Marc Schulz, PhD Making & Keeping Friends…in Retirement – Janice McCabe Will You Flourish or Languish? – Corey Keyes ____________________________ About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You'll get smarter about the investment decisions you'll make about the most important asset you'll have in retirement: your time. About Retirement Wisdom I help people who are retiring, but aren't quite done yet, discover what's next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn't just happen by accident. Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms. About Your Podcast Host Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Joe has earned Master's degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University. In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He's the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.

Choices shaped your career. But when retirement approaches, a new design challenge appears. Not a financial one. A life design challenge. What will your days look like? What will energize you?  What might the next five years become? In the Designing Your New Life in Retirement program, you'll step back from the fray and apply design thinking to those questions, with a bias for action. Learn more here. We begin in April. Join us and get started – on your most important project. _____________________________ Friendship is one of the most powerful forces shaping our lives—and our health. Friendships become harder to maintain as life evolves, especially during major transitions like retirement. Losing work friends is normal, yet few realize how new connections can be cultivated. Our guest today highlights why identity shifts can, perhaps counterintuitively, create oppotunities to build new friendships. My guest today is Janice McCabe, is a sociologist at Dartmouth and author of Making, Keeping, and Losing Friends. Her research, mainly on college campuses, illuminates key principles of forming friendships like the hidden structures that shape our friendships. In this conversation, we explore how anyone—at any stage of life—can become more intentional about building meaningful connections. Why friendships are essential for long-term health and well-being The two biggest drivers of friendship formation Why proximity matters more than we realize Three types of friendship networks The difference between fading friendships and breakups If you’re approaching retirement or navigating a major life transition, understanding these patterns can help you design a richer and more connected life. Janice McCabe joins us from New Hampshire. __________________________ Bio Janice M. McCabe is associate professor of sociology at Dartmouth College and the Allen House Professor. She is the current president of the Sociology of Education Association and the author of Making, Keeping, and Losing Friends and Connecting in College: How Networks Matter for Academic and Social Success. __________________________ For More on Janice McCabe Website Books __________________________ Mentioned in This Retirement Podcast Conversation I Study Friendship. Here's How You Make Lasting Friends. ___________________________ Retirement Podcast Conversations You May Like How to Make New Friends in Retirement – Dr. Marisa G. Franco Our New Social Life – Natalie Kerr & Jaime Kurtz The Good Life – Marc Schulz, PhD ____________________________ About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You'll get smarter about the investment decisions you'll make about the most important asset you'll have in retirement: your time. About Retirement Wisdom I help people who are retiring, but aren't quite done yet, discover what's next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn't just happen by accident. Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms. About Your Podcast Host Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Joe has earned Master's degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University. In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 1.6 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He's the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy. ______________________________ Wise Quotes On Life Changes & Friendships ” We’re changing and we’re growing throughout our lives, and there may be times that we change with our friends, and so our identities, our interests change in similar ways, or we’re able to keep some sort of connection through those transitions. But it can be harder for people who are now retired. They likely have friendships that, started earlier in life, and you may have similar transitions with having kids at the same time, or living in the same area or in different areas throughout your lives. So all of those things, some of which are structural. When you’re having those life transitions, sometimes we feel like a friendship is really important to us, but then someone changes jobs, or someone moves, and we may realize that that connection was either more or less important than we thought, just because we took it for granted when it was easy.” On Prioritizing Friendships “I interviewed a lot of people in the course of my research and the people that were able to both make and keep particularly meaningful friends, one thing was that they were intentional about is making time for friends. Also being reflective about which friends are most meaningful to you,who are you really excited to see, excited to talk to, excited to do things about and making sure that you’re reaching out to them. That not always, just up to your paths crossing or them reaching out to you, but thinking through, what people do I especially want to prioritize is part of it.  Another thing that I saw people do is that is just making time for friendship in general. We typically have goals for our work lives, we may have goals for our family lives, but I’d say most of us don’t have goals for our friendship lives. But having that would help us see that as another really valuable part of life. And so not just letting friendship fill the cracks of like our extra time, but really going out of the way to make sure that we are prioritizing friendship in our lives, making time for friends.” On Friends & Health – and Being a Good Friend “A lot of research has shown that our friendships help us live longer. It’s actually more important to have connections than to not smoke, not be obese, the things that we look at as healthy behaviors. Having friends are equally, if not more, important from other people’s research, epidemiologically, that have looked at those factors. So making sure that you invest in friendships is really important.  And I think we can get so busy going through life that we don’t slow down to take stock of our friendships and just see who’s there. And, not just do I have good friends, but am I being a good friend also? Because friendship is a reciprocal relationship. Friendship isn’t just a one time event. It’s not just that you make friends and Oh, I’m done. Instead, you constantly are making new friends and thinking through those factors that I was mentioning; who’s important, what am I getting from my friends? What am I missing? And not assuming that either our partner, our romantic partner, or one friend will meet all of our needs.”

Send us a textWhere to find Aimee: Instagram: @vibrancenutrition Nutrition Coaching: vibrancenutrition.com Podcast on Nutrition: Blasphemous Nutrition Substack on Nomadic Life: NomadicNomMom Where to find Rebecca: Instagram and her life in Paris: @beseriouslyhappy Podcast for Interior Design-preneurs: Stuff Interior Designers Need to Know Biz Coaching for Interior Designers: seriouslyhappy.com Book on Interior Design Psychology: Happy Starts at Home

Parenthood changes everything—including your social life. In this episode, Mansi explores the often-overlooked topic of adult friendships after becoming a parent. Why do some friendships fade while others deepen? How do you make new connections when your time, energy, and identity have shifted? And is it normal to feel a little lonely, even when you're never alone?Whether you're navigating mom groups, mourning old bonds, or just trying to text back, this episode is for you.Support the show

In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we dive into the world of friendships and explore how ADHD shapes the way we connect with others. From childhood playdates to adult coffee catch-ups, maintaining friendships can be uniquely challenging — but also deeply rewarding — for those with ADHD.Using insights from "Let Them" by Mel Robbins and Dr. Barkley, we unpack:* How Friendships Develop: Discover how ADHD traits like creativity and spontaneity influence social connections in childhood.* Navigating Adolescence and Adulthood: Learn how impulsivity, rejection sensitivity, and emotional regulation impact friendships as we grow up.* Essential Coping Skills: Find out how mindfulness, communication strategies, and self-awareness can strengthen your social bonds.* 5 Actionable Tips: Get practical advice on maintaining friendships, setting boundaries, and embracing your authentic self.Whether you're looking to deepen your current connections or build new ones, this episode is packed with compassionate insights and relatable stories to help you thrive socially with ADHD. Tune in and take the next step toward nurturing the friendships that matter most.

Dr. Guenther interviews Clinical Psychologist Dr Sabrina Romanoff on the challenges of making friends in college.The post Brain Matters S11.E18: Making, And Keeping, Friends at College first appeared on Capstone Voices Podcasting Network.

In this episode we're talking to friendship and connection expert Jewl Hohman! Jewel has a podcast (The Socially Delightful Podcast) and offers coaching with the goal of turning people into friends. We chat with her about how to ACTUALLY make friends, deepen connection and how to stop letting social anxiety keep you from being social. We really delve into so much actionable information. If you want to make friends or deepen your connections, you will not want to miss this one!*WE'RE DOING A LIVE SHOW ON MONDAY APRIL 7- 5:30PM PST Make sure you're a member of our patreon to be a part of it! patreon.com/sogladwerefriends Find Jewel Here: https://www.connectionwithjewel.com/https://www.instagram.com/connectionwithjewel/LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE 818-839-1884JOIN OUR PATREON!!⁠ ⁠patreon.com/sogladwerefriends ⁠ We are so excited to finally be able to bring you exclusive content! Your support means the world to us SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS!We want to hear from you! Please feel free to send us any questions you may have for us to use in a Q+A and/or any situations you may be in that you want our advice on!sogladwerefriends@gmail.comAnonymous Google Form———JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!———FOLLOW US!@sogladwerefriendsDEVON: @devonandwilloDevon IGDevon TIKTOKDevon YOUTUBEMAGGIE: @maggiewiththedogsMaggie IGMaggie TIKTOKMaggie YOUTUBEBRITTANY: @rosieandbritt // @workingdogmomma@rosieandbritt IG:@rosieandbritt TIKTOK@workingdogmomma IG@workingdogmomma TIKTOK——————————————————

Hi besties! On the pod today:Our Second Official ADHD Besties Symposium is here and this time we're looking at ADHD and Friendships. Why? Because when you have ADHD they can be hard bby. ---

My BFF and I have been friends since the first day of 8th grade. We have been through a lot together, and it is one of the most impactful relationships of my life. However, making other friends hasn't always been easy. In this episode Patty shares some ADHD-friendly tips to make and keep friends.PLUS: Hear this week's pick for Book of the Week!ADHD-Friendly Membership has a new Hybrid Course: ADHDU! Click the link below for more info:https://www.adhdfriendly.com/adhd-friendly-all-access-membership-includes/The ADHD-Friendly Planner On-Demand Course PLUS Planner is available in the ADHD-Friendly shop for only $79.95: https://www.adhdfriendly.com/adhd-friendly-shop/Thank you for checking out this episode of the ADHD Friendly podcast with Patty Blinderman!!New episodes are posted every Wednesday! Subscribe to the channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@adhdfriendlyCheck out/Join the ADHD-Friendly membership here: https://www.adhdfriendly.com/adhd-friendly-all-access-membership-includes/Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, ADHD Friendly Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. For more information on the ADHD-Friendly services offered by Patty, please visit her website: ADHDFriendly.com 

Today we welcome Danielle Bayard Jackson, a certified friendship coach, to chat all about MOM FRIENDS- how to find them, how to keep them, and how to not let small stuff get in the way. We also chat about healthy conflict resolution and modeling strong friendships for our kids! Inside this episode: common challenges Moms specifically face when it comes to making new connections practical ways to find new friends and nurture fulfilling relationships with other women why some friendships fade or fall away after having kids how to create boundaries and express needs within female friendships what to do if a friend makes different parenting choices than you, and how to separate parenting differences from core values or character judgements how to model healthy friendships for our kids and much more! Danielle teaches women how to make and maintain better friendships through research-based methodology. Since studying the ins and outs of female friendships, her teachings include how to solve common female friendship conflicts, creating connections with depth and closeness, and the impact of friendship on our physical, mental, and emotional health. Danielle is also the author of Fighting for our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships. This book aims to explain the mechanics of female friendship from an aerial view, as well as provide tangible strategies to equip women for the day-to-day business of being friends. As the spokesperson for Bumble For Friends and with work that has been featured in NBC News, The New York Times, and Psychology Today, Danielle's insights and frameworks have been trusted by many Danielle's instagram: @daniellebayardjackson Danielle's book: Fighting for our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships. Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. Instagram | Tiktok |  Website  ✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram!

Join us in between seasons for this special mini-season format of The Victory Couch, upholstery. Today's focus is on making and keeping friends as adults. Where do you find friends in your 40s? How do you keep those friends? (The Victory Couch is hosted by Rick and Julie Rando) Show notes: Connect with us on Instagram @thevictorycouch, Facebook, victorycouchpodcast@gmail.com, or www.thevictorycouch.com Want a new Victory Couch sticker for your water bottle, laptop, guitar case, etc.? Send us a message and we'll mail you one. SUBSCRIBE to The Victory Couch e-mail Making and keepting friends as adults (Season 1, Episode 9) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-9-about-fantasy-dinner-parties-making-friends/id1759196846?i=1000663225320

In case you didn't know, we're still making two episodes a month for our Patreon and Apple Plus subscribers. We wanted to give all of our listeners a little preview of our most recent episode! Consider joining our Patreon to listen to the rest of the episode(or watch the episode!), get additional bonus episodes, ad-free episodes, and join a community of Terribles. (Or, if you're an Apple Podcast listener, you can sign up for TTFA Premium right in the app!) _ Have you thought at some point in your adult life, I wish I had more friends?  Maybe you moved to a new city, saw your social life dwindle after having kids, or spent all your time and energy on your romantic relationships. No matter how you got there, trying to make friends as an adult is a really hard task! To try and help us all be better friends, we called in an expert:  Marisa Franco is a professor and studies and writes about friendship and human connection. She is the author of Platonic: How the science of attachment can help you make- and keep- friends. Marisa and Nora discuss how important friendships are to our mental health and how we can all strengthen our friendships.   Please send us your questions and comments about this episode or any other! You can email us at ttfapremium@feelingsand.co or leave us a voicemail at 612-568-4441.  — Check us out on YouTube. Find all our shows and more at feelingsand.co

Where to find Aimee: Instagram: @vibrancenutrition Nutrition Coaching: vibrancenutrition.com Podcast on Nutrition: Blasphemous Nutrition Where to find Rebecca: Instagram and her life in Paris: @beseriouslyhappy Podcast for Interior Design Entrepreneurs: Don't Design While Drinking Biz Coaching for Interior Designers: seriouslyhappy.com Book on Interior Design Psychology: Happy Starts at Home

Helping kids navigate social dynamics is one of the most commonly-requested topics from our listeners – and it's top of mind for back to school each year. In this classic replay from 2017 Sarah taps into the expertise of Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, an author, psychologist, and expert on children's friendships. Sarah asks Dr. Eileen about helping kids who feel left out a school, how to handle the emotional ups and downs of elementary school friendships, and why playdates are more important than we might think. Dr. Eileen also answers questions submitted by our listener community. Enjoy!HELPFUL LINKSDr. Eileen's websiteGrowing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends (affiliate link)When Your Child Says, “Nobody Likes Me!” (Growing Friendships blog, Psychology Today)The Growing Friendships blog on Psychology TodayCan You Be Too Supportive of Your Child's Negative Feelings? (Growing Friendships blog, Psychology Today)Dr. Friendtastic, Dr. Eileen's site geared toward kidsOTHER HELPFUL LINKS:Visit our websiteCheck out deals from our partnersFollow us on InstagramJoin our private listener group on Facebook (be sure to answer the membership questions!)Sign up for our newsletterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nick Gray is the master of developing a great friend network, we go over some of his success in this area, his book The Two Hour Cocktail party, and his past business successes. See the full blog post and long notes here: https://copywritingcourse.com/courses/interviews/making-friends-nick-gray/0:00: Start0:05: Making T-shirts with friends faces for $20 is an amazing investment. 2:00: The t-shirts started with Noah Kagan and I made custom shirt with an iron-on paper, but then started using Canva. 3:20: Nick Gray is one of the most interesting people I've ever met, it's difficult to describe him and all the fun he brings. 3:40: He started a company called MuseumHack which he sold in 2019, and also helped build his family's aviation company from the ground up before selling it to a big private equity company.”4:20: “I've been on more private jets than anybody but they're all broken.”4:50: His engineer dad built a product in their basement that shows an in-air flight display (like you see in airlines) but for private jets. Nick joined as employee #1 and helped grow it to 80+ employees before selling in 2014, then got an earnout from the company. 6:30: Working with a family business was very informal, and while there was a small amount of butting heads overall it was a great and fun and easy experience and in fact BROUGHT HIM CLOSER TO HIS PARENTS than ever.8:16: Nick's involvement for Flight Display Systems (FDS) he took over marketing and international sales. He learned everything on the fly (no pub intended).9:00: Middle East clients had INSANE private jets and essentially unlimited budgets. People would request showers, glowing floors, and all sorts of things and they would engineer it and build it. Their bread and butter was in-flight entertainment. Nick's dad figured out how to make the standard $70,000 “Flight Map” for around $10,000.10:53: Sales all came from a small network of aviation professionals and tradeshows, specifically one called NBAA which his whole family would all go to every year. 11:34: Nick did something innovating with pricing in the aviation industry. Talking about prices was considered uncouth, so he zagged and made Best Buy style giant price tags at their tradeshow booth. Other booths were making fun of them, but their booth was completely full of end customers! 12:53: Nick learned to be very upfront by asking: “What do you need, what do you want, what can we do for you?”14:17: Do you still think tradeshows are still the best way to get leads? Yes…but “conferences” are hard, but “tradeshows” are super profitable. 15:13: If Nick ever started a business it might be a tradeshow (not conference) because you can monetize them so well. 15:40: For Nick's 42nd birthday he threw a “Birthday Conference” where people paid ~$1,000 to come to a three day event, and it was really cool high up people and felt like an expensive conference. Price anchoring for conferences is very hard. He sent out a survey how much people would pay and it always ends up at $1,000. Unless you get very big sponsors it's hard to make big money with conferences. 17:04: There's nothing like meeting in person to connect with a person. Something still very different from online. We went to a HubSpot conference and met a lot of people we knew online in real life. Even brief moments of meeting IRL are impactful.18:48: In early 2000's the only way to hear amazing people speak was at a live conference. But with the rise of TED, YouTube, and podcasts all of a sudden you could hear BETTER versions of these in person speeches. The benefit of conferences quickly shifted from hearing a speaker to meeting other conference attendees. 19:51: We went to a conference where we saw some famous names, and honestly it's better to listen to a podcast than the live...

I have been surprised by something as an adult…I stink at friendship. When it comes to making new friends, or even staying connected with old friends, it has just become harder and harder. I also find myself become more and more introverted as I get older. And I think many of you can relate. Making and keeping friends as an adult has always seemed to be a hot topic, so if we're all feeling this pull then why is it still so tough? Psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Marisa G. Franco joins me today to offer the science backed reasons behind loneliness and relationships in a way that will have you nodding along in agreement. Honestly, you may even audibly gasp at some of her explanations – in a good way! The hard things you have been experiencing when it comes to friendship are real, and they have names, and there are ways to really support yourself through them. For new weekly episodes during the summer months, sign up as a Supporter to get access to our private, premium, ad-free podcast, More Personal. Episodes air each Friday! Access exclusive supporter benefits Free DSL Training Waitlist for the next Sticky Habit Intensive Full Show Notes This episode is brought to you by Fearless Finance, get $50 off your first planning meeting when you use the code PROGRESS AirDoctor, use code MONICA for up to $300 off air purifiers Lolavie, Get 15% off LolaVie with the codePROGRESS at https://www.lolavie.com/PROGRESS #lolaviepod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Uh oh! You just got word that your child is being excluded by kids at school. Other kids are saying hurtful things and don't let your child play with them. You feel horrible and want this to STOP. You want your child to wake up and stop being friends with them but you also don't want them to feel judged and shut down. In this episode, I'll share: Best ways to respond in these moments so your child feels supported but also knows how to stand up for themselves How to help your child think about friendship in a more holistic way Tools to teach your child how to make and keep good friends Check out books like: The Not So Friendly Friend- https://amzn.to/3QFbysE Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect- https://amzn.to/3WFgx09 The Survival Guide for Making & Keeping Friends- https://amzn.to/3UWlwZ7 The Little Book of Friendship- https://amzn.to/4bylSKV My Way to Making Friends- https://amzn.to/3WHba0y How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them- https://amzn.to/3UHSATx ________________________________________________________________________ If you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving a rating. It truly helps. Thank you again for listening. Parent coaching & community: http://themompychologist.com/membership Discipline Workshop (free): http://www.themompychologist.com/workshop Instagram: https://instagram.com/themompsychologist YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/themompsychologist

John talks about the events that led to the end of World War 2 and the world commemorating the 80th anniversary of the D-Day landings along the Normandy coast. Then, he interviews comedian Chris Duffy about his new book "Let's Hang Out: Making (and Keeping) Friends, Acquaintances, and Other Nonromantic Relationships". And finally John welcomes back Simon Moya-Smith and Julie Francella for their popular Native Voices segment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you ever experience the pain and anger of feeling overlooked? Oftentimes, when we are in this place, we turn toward God with soul-wrenching questions: “Where are you, God? Have you forgotten me? Are you paying attention to what is happening to me? Can I trust that you will act on my behalf?”   In this episode, Shelby and Krystal chat with Christine Hoover, author of “You Are Not Forgotten: Discovering the God Who Sees the Overlooked and Disregarded.” Christine shares how the Lord met her as she asked those questions and reminded her that He sees and hears her—even when it doesn't feel like it. Though we are tempted to find other ways to be seen, we hope this conversation encourages you to find your refuge in The God Who Sees.   Subscribe to our Podcast Newsletter!   Resources Mentioned: You Are Not Forgotten: Discovering the God Who Sees the Overlooked and Disregarded by Christine Hoover Ep 202: Finding and Keeping Friends w/Christine Hoover The Ministry Wives Podcast   Connect with us:  The Daily Grace Co. | Facebook | Instagram | Daily Grace Blog |    The opinions of guests on the Daily Grace podcast do not represent the opinions of The Daily Grace Co., and we do not necessarily endorse the resources that they recommend or mention on the show. We believe it is valuable to hear from a variety of guests, even if we do not agree in all areas. As always, the statements made by hosts and guests on the show should be tested against God's Word, the only authority on truth.  

We're bringing you an episode of A Slight Change of Plans from our friends at Pushkin. Named by Apple as the Best Show of the Year 2021, host Dr. Maya Shankar blends compassionate storytelling with the science of human behavior to help us understand who we are, and who we become, in the face of a big change. In this episode, psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco argues that it's a mistake to prioritize romantic and familial relationships over friendships. Strong, supportive friendships expand our sense of self, she says, and are associated with greater well-being and health. Marisa offers research-based strategies to make new friends and deepen our existing friendships, including helpful concepts like mutuality and the mere-exposure effect. Marisa and Maya also discuss how to stay friends through big life changes, why fighting could make your friendship stronger, and how to break up with a friend with clarity and kindness. Follow A Slight Change of Plans to never miss an episode: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/a-slight-change-of-plans Keep up with Samantha Bee @realsambee on Instagram and X. And stay up to date with us @LemonadaMedia on X, Facebook, and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

CW: grief, loss, infant loss. DLs we touch on grief and loss today, if today is not the day for you to hear that kind of content, please skip this one.  We're away from the city! What are we doing? Not working on the not-live-show, surely. Revz is stoked to be back in the country as she's a tennis girlie now, and she won't hear otherwise. Speaking of “anyone for tennis”, Gem is relieved because Yai is home (praise be) and she almost made it to the end of her trip without losing her marbles. And Gem has found a new reason to exercise that she never thought she needed, probably because of what the algorithm has been serving up, which has her attention, but not her mental health in mind. And Revz had a friend come to her with some friendship problems which gets us asking, why is friendship the first thing to go from the to-do list when you're a mum? Have a great week DLs and take care of yourselves x If you want more of us in your week, you can subscribe to MORE TIME FOR THIS for more eps and giveaways all month long: Apple — https://apple.co/wedonthavetimeforthis Spotify — https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/moretimeforthis

Welcome to the LDS Mental Health Podcast. You can find more information on this episode and the many resources offered by Niki Olsen Coaching with the link below.https://www.nikiolsencoaching.com/blog/152Prayer Journalhttps://www.nikiolsencoaching.com/Prayer-JournalLDS Mental Health Skills Membership waitlisthttps://www.nikiolsencoaching.com/rrr-waitlist

It's time to talk about making friends as adults, but more importantly how hard it is to keep them! I'll share stories of how my personal friendships have evolved over time through life changes such as engagements, weddings, moving, and pregnancy and how I've been able to maintain friendships (while cutting some off along the way). 

Psychologist Marisa Franco is an expert on friendship and talks with Maya about research-backed strategies to make new friends, deepen our existing relationships, and navigate friend breakups. This conversation was one of our most popular ones and so we've decided to revisit it during a time when it's been hard to feel connected to others. We'll be back in March with new episodes!  For more on Marisa's work, check out her book, “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends." Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We know that friendship is an important part of life. A good friend brings us joy and good times. We usually turn to our friends for comfort and help when we are in trouble or sad.

We know that friendship is an important part of life. A good friend brings us joy and good times. We usually turn to our friends for comfort and help when we are in trouble or sad.

I'm new in town and I don't know anyone. Where do I start?Dr. Bryan Loritts (Enduring Friendship) joins the podcast this week to help us prepare for making (and keeping) friends after graduation. Where do I look? How do I start? What challenges can I expect? We tackle these questions (and more) to help you on the journey of relational transition as you graduate.RELATED EPISODE(S)E102: Ending Well With My Friends On Campus (Apple, Spotify)E80: I'm so Tired of Church Hopping: Finding Your Footing in a New Church (Apple, Spotify)RESOURCESGet your copy of Enduring Friendship: Sticking Together in an Age of UnfriendingMore from Pastor BryanSTAY IN TOUCHSocials: @afterivpodLeave us a message on SpeakPipeJoin our Email List (Join here Spotify users: http://eepurl.com/hLks2r)Visit our Website ★ Support this podcast ★

Today on Catt Sadler Now, Jennifer Meyer stops by the studio for an extremely intimate chat with Catt. While we get caught up on the latest happenings with her wildly popular business, Jennifer Meyer Jewelry, we mostly meet the mom, former wife, and friend whose approach to living is aspirational to say the least. As her business and family are thriving today, Jen reveals how in the past she often struggled with panic attacks and hustling so hard it sent her to the emergency room. How she finally came to terms with what ailed her and techniques she uses to manage her mental health today. Once famously married to actor Tobey Maguire, Jen explains how the two came to the decision to stay very active in one another's lives and why, to this day, he remains her best friend. This is the coparenting style dreams are made of!  This episode feels like two friends going “deep” and having a meaningful conversation about the many topics we all grapple with about L I F E.  Make sure to follow Jen on IG and visit her website to shop her gorgeous jewelry, fragrances, and accessories.  Today's #CattSadlerNow episode was brought to you by WILDGRAIN and ADDYI. Head to wildgrain.com/CATT to get $30 off your first box of pastries, pastas, and more. Or, use CATT at checkout. YUM! Go to Addyi.com and use code CATT for a $10 telemedicine appointment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep. 35 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Figuring out whose opinion matters to youRyan feels hurt when a classmate boos his efforts and punches his example owl.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/submit or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childWhose opinion matters to you? In other words, who are the special people in your life that you want to think well of you? (Hint: These are people who care about you!)Have you ever been in a situation like Ryan, where someone said something mean about your efforts? What did they say? Why do you think they said that? How did you respond?Ryan has been thinking about his classmate's mean comments for months. What does Dr. Friendtastic mean when she tells him, “Don't give this kid that much power?”Why do you think it's not worth arguing or trying to defend yourself when someone whose opinion doesn't matter to you says something mean?What would you say to comfort a friend who got booed or heard mean comments about their efforts? Dr. Friendtastic says, “You can't please everyone.” She can't, either! Why is it NOT a good idea to try to please everyone? TRANSCRIPTWelcome. I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Let's hear today's question:Hi, Dr. Friendtastic. My name is Ryan. I am 11-years old. Here's my question: What do you do when peers at school put down your interests? Once, at my Christmas concert in school, some student booed my hard work and my song. And another time, I was doing a science presentation about owls and he booed again and also said bad words and punched my example owl. If I were the kid holding the emoji, I would be holding the offended, angry, and upset, and discouraged emoji. Hi, Ryan. First I have to say, I am so impressed by your emotional vocabulary. Offended, angry, upset, discouraged…these are all painful feelings, and I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling that way, but I think it's wonderful that you're able to describe your experience so well! When we can name our emotions specifically–instead of just thinking, “I feel bad”–it helps us understand them more clearly, which makes it easier to cope with them.But let's get back to your situation. This classmate is clearly doing rude and disrespectful things. Booing at your performance…punching your example owl…that's not kind.We can try to imagine why he might be acting this way. Is he trying to feel powerful by getting a big reaction from you? Is he trying to impress some other kids by showing that he's not like you? Is he jealous because your project was cooler than his? Does he think it's funny to do something inappropriate? Is he the kind of kid who's impulsive and has trouble reigning in his behavior? Is this a clumsy way to try to get you to pay attention to him? I don't know the answers to these questions, but maybe you do. If you can figure out his intentions based on your past interactions or what you know about him, it could guide how you respond.Now, if he's wrecking your project, you need to get an adult involved, but I want to focus on your question about what to do when someone puts down your interests.Clearly, his comments stuck with you, because they're still bugging you many months later. What I'd like to say to you is: Don't give this kid that much power.You may have heard someone say, “You shouldn't care what other people think!” I don't agree with that. Only mean people don't care what anyone thinks. A more useful thought is “Whose opinion matters to you?”I think performing in a show at school and creating a science project about owls are very cool things to do! I bet your teachers and family do, too! I bet there are also other kids at your school who like performing and owls. Those are your people!So, when someone puts down your interests, but they're not someone whose opinion matters to you, my suggestion is: just shrug. You don't have to argue or convince them or defend yourself. You might say, in a bored tone of voice, “Think what you like” or “That's YOUR opinion” or you might say nothing at all because that person's opinion is not important to you.You can't please everyone. This is something I have to deal with all the time, as a writer. Lots of people like my books, and articles, and podcast, but some people don't. That's okay. I'm not writing for them.We can't let the people who are being negative and saying “boo” hold us back from doing what matters to us. If you focus on doing the things that you find interesting, meaningful, and fun you're likely to find others who also enjoy doing them. And that could be the basis of some great friendships.This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question. And be sure to check out my funny and practical books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 34 - Chloe, Age 9: Upset by name-calling | Communicating about communicatingChloe's friend doesn't listen when she asks him to stop calling her namesScroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childHave you ever been called names you didn't like? What happened? How did you handle it?Why is it important to stop when a friend asks us to stop? What are some reasons why kids sometimes don't stop when asked?Dr. Friendtastic mentioned communicating about your communication by describing the pattern you see and asking what's going on. Why might this be a helpful thing to do in a friendship? (Hint: Why is it useful to describe the pattern? Why is it useful to ask what's going on?")What does this statement mean: “How you think affects how you feel”? TRANSCRIPTHi, there. I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here's today's question:Hello, my name is Chloe, and I'm 9-years old, and I have this friend in school that keeps on calling me names. What should I do because he's making me really upset?Hi, Chloe! Thank you for sending in this question! That sounds like a very frustrating situation! I imagine you've asked your friend to stop a bunch of times, but he's not listening. He's probably trying to be funny or playful, but when he doesn't listen to your requests that he stop, it seems like he doesn't care about you. That's hurtful! So, this is a good example of why it's so important to stop when a friend asks us to stop. But what can you do in this situation? You said that he's a friend, so I'm assuming there's some caring and connection between the two of you, and you want to work things out, even though. right now, you're upset about the name-calling.One possibility is you could communicate with him about your communication. In other words, instead of responding to whatever he just said, you could talk about the overall pattern in what you say to each other. For instance, you could say, “I've noticed you keep calling me that, even though I've asked you to stop a bunch of times. What's going on?”  Describing the pattern you see and asking what's going on might make your friend stop for a moment to think about what he's doing and how it's affecting your friendship. To you, it's obvious that all the times he's called you names are connected, but he may see those as separate events and not realize that there's a pattern.Asking what's going on might also give you some useful information. We don't know why he's ignoring your requests to stop. Maybe he's upset about something you're doing that you don't realize bothers him.Communicating about how you're communicating can help the two of you understand each other better.There's one other topic I want to touch on: You said, “He's making me really upset.” The truth is no one can make us feel a certain way. You don't like the name calling–I can understand that!–but how you think about it affects how you feel. If you tell yourself, “This is terrible! I can't stand it!” you're going to feel upset.The opposite of that isn't saying “This is great! I loved being called names!” because of course you don't! Lying to yourself isn't going to help. But you could say to yourself something like: “I don't like this, but I can handle it,” or “It's just a silly name. I know it's not true,” or “He has a goofy sense of humor. It's annoying but not a big deal.” In all of those examples you're recognizing that you don't like the name calling, but you're also seeing that you're strong enough to handle it. With that in mind, you might chose just to step over the name-calling by changing the subject to something more interesting. Or you might say calmly, “I don't like it when you call me that,” and if he continues, walk away for a bit and try again later. This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question. And be sure to check out my funny and practical books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 33 – Richard, Age 11: Best ways to show empathy | Turning caring into actionRichard wants to know how to show more empathy for other kids.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childWhich do you think is the hardest part of showing empathy: Paying attention, imagining the other person's perspective, caring, or caring action? Why?Why do you think friends who are feeling upset often don't want advice? What do you think they might want instead? What does Dr. Friendtastic mean when she says, “Unwanted advice can come across as criticism”?How might showing empathy look different with a close friend versus someone you don't know well?Why is it a good idea to say “you” rather than “I” when you're empathizing with a friend? How might feeling very emotional yourself get in the way of offering empathy for a friend?Why is it important to ask, “What can I do to help?”Dr. Friendtastic mentions a bunch of examples of small acts of kindness to show you care about someone. What are some small acts of kindness you've done to show your friends you care?TRANSCRIPTWelcome! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here's today's question:Hello, my name is Richard. I'm 11 years old, and my question is, how to show more empathy for your classmates?Hi, Richard! Thank you for sending in this question! I like that you're asking, not just how to have empathy for other kids, but how to show it.Empathy means feeling for and with someone. So, for example, if a friend feels sad about their goldfish dying, empathy would allow you to also feel sad, along with the friend, which could help you respond in a caring way.The first ingredient of empathy is attention. You need to notice when your friends are feeling emotional. Sometimes, kids will tell you directly, “I'm feeling frustrated!” But sometimes you have to look at their nonverbal communication–how they're showing emotions in their face, body, or tone of voice.For instance, if you're playing a game, and your friend suddenly stops talking and just stands there with their arms crossed, looking away, with their lips tightly together and their eyebrows down–whoa! Those are a whole bunch of clues that the friend is having some big feelings!The second ingredient of empathy is perspective-taking: imagine how the friend might be feeling and why. It takes practice to get good at this. Use what you know about your friend, plus your own experience, and think about how the friend might be reacting to whatever's happening. It helps if you know lots of words to describe emotions, so you can understand them and tell them apart.Using the example of the friend who stopped playing, maybe that friend is feeling frustrated or discouraged or jealous or angry or hurt… Thinking about what's happening, how your friend has reacted in the past, and how you would react in that situation can help you guess how your friend might be feeling.The third ingredient is caring. You might notice and understand someone's feelings, but unless you care, you can't empathize. When you have empathy for a friend, if the friend is disappointed, you also feel disappointed for and with them; if they feel excited, you also feel excited for and with them.Here's something a lot of people don't realize about empathy: You have to be able to manage your own feelings in order to empathize with others. If you're overwhelmed by how you're feeling, that will take up all your focus, and there won't be any space in your brain available to empathize with someone else's feelings, until you manage to settle down.Noticing, understanding, and caring (but not getting overwhelmed) about how someone else is feeling all help you have empathy. If we want that empathy to show, we need to add one more ingredient, which is caring action.What kind of caring action you take depends on the situation and your relationship. Someone you don't know well doesn't necessarily want anything from you, but a close friend will expect you to care.Often kids think that if a friend is upset, they have to fix the friend's problem or give advice, but that's usually not what a friend is looking for. Unwanted advice can come across as criticism–like you're saying, “I know better than you!”Instead, you might try listening and maybe echoing your friend's words and feelings. It feels good to be heard and understood. You could say, “It sounds like you're mad about that,” or “You're so happy about that!” or “You're worried because…” Keep the focus on your friend who is feeling emotional by saying the word “you” rather than “I.”You may want to ask your friend what kind of support they want. You could say, “What can I do to help?” or “What would you like us to do now?”Sometimes, doing a small act of kindness can express caring. Inviting a friend to do something with you, letting them go first, playing the game they like, sharing something with them, or giving them a supportive note or a small drawing or craft you made are all ways to say, “I care about you.”This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question.And be sure to check out my funny and practical books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Episode #75: If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you!Jeff Waldman and Dan Moore joined me for an inspiring thirty minutes where we discussed creating closer friendships by scheduling time with friends. Yes, something as mundane as scheduling in the magic here. We also got into more specific ideas like organizing workshops or trips, putting standing dates on your calendar for phone calls, dinners, fitness check-ins, games, workshops, retreats, and more. We discussed saying yes sometimes, even when you feel like staying home, and the benefit of being the host of events instead of the guest. Meet Jeff and DanJeff Waldman is a designer, builder, and author of a book on tools. He sells building plans and has a newsletter on Substack called Elevated Spaces where he writes about both construction and community building and where those two practices intersect for him.  Two of Jeff's especially pertinent posts about friendship are: “Who are all these friends— Scheduled phone calls edition” and “What's Up With All These Workshops”His communal property in California's Santa Cruz mountains burned in the wildfires of 2020 but lives on as a canvas for new project. Dan Moore is a technologist, outdoor enthusiast, husband and father.  He has been writing software for over 20 years, and was shocked early in his career at how much software project success depends on human relationships. He's an author and contributor to technical books such as "97 Things Every Cloud Engineer Should Know" and "Letters To a New Developer: What I Wish I Had Known When Starting My Development Career." Dan's also an organizer and member of several interest based groups, including the Odd Fellows (a fraternal order)  and the Boulder Ruby programming language meetup group. Dan lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife and two daughters.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Ep. 32 – Tara, Age 12: Friend is pulling away | TTrying to reconnect when a friendship starts to fadeTara wonders what to do when a friend becomes less interested in hanging out with the group.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childHave you ever switched friendship groups? What led to that change? How did it work out? To what extent did you stay in touch with your previous friend group?Were you surprised to learn how often kids' friendships don't last a full school year? Why or why not? What are some reasons why friends might grow apart?What are two things you should definitely NOT do when you sense a friend is pulling away?Why does Dr. Friendtastic recommend talking to the leaning-away friend one-on-one? Why might that work out better than having the whole group confront this friend?Have you ever reconnected with a friend after you grew apart? What led to you reconnecting?TRANSCRIPTHi, there! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Let's hear today's question:My name's Tara, and I'm in 7th grade, and I'm wondering, what should you should you do if one friend starts to kind of lean away from the group?Hi, Tara, thank you for sending in this question! It sounds like your friend is less interested in being part of your group than she was before. It also sounds like you're not sure why this is happening, and you might be feeling confused, hurt, angry, or rejected.We all like the idea of best friends forever, but scientists have found that changes in friendships are common for kids. Among first graders, half of friendships don't last a whole school year. Among fourth and eighth graders, one out of every four friendships doesn't make it through a school year. There are a lot of reasons why a friendship might fizzle. Sometimes there's a big blow-up, but more often the end of a friendship involves a gradual fade. Kids are constantly growing and changing, and sometimes it just happens–through no one's fault–that friends grow apart. Maybe you and your friend have different interests now. That could make hanging out together less fun.Maybe your friend is super busy or stressed, or in different classes, or on a different sports team, so you just don't see each other as much anymore. Maybe you've been super busy and your friend thinks you're not as interested in being friends anymore, so she's hanging back.Maybe there was some misunderstanding, and she thinks your group doesn't want her around, or maybe there's been some change in your group that makes it less fun or less comfortable for her to hang out.Maybe your friend has made some new friends, and she's trying to divide her time between your old group and the new group. She still likes you, but she also wants to be with the new friends.So, how can you handle this, especially when you don't know why she's leaning away? Well, there are a few things you should definitely NOT do. You should definitely not tell everyone she's mean or stuck up. That's not kind, and it's probably not true. Even though you might feel hurt or angry, you also should definitely not yell at her. That's not going to make her want to hang out more with you!What you could do, if you want to repair the friendship, is approach her one-on-one–so she doesn't feel ganged up on–and ask her about it. You could say, “I've noticed you haven't been hanging out with the group as much lately. What's going on?”Now, maybe she'll tell you about a problem, and you could fix it or explain something to work things out. But she might just say something vague to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. Either way, if you want to rebuild the friendship, tell her how much she means to you. You could say, “I miss you” or “I care about you” or “Our friendship matters a lot to me.”Then invite her to do something fun with you or with the whole group. Having fun together could rebuild your connection and help her remember why she enjoyed being with you before.If she says no, that's okay. Your invitation says you want to reconnect. Maybe she'll respond by inviting you some time, or maybe she'll rejoin your group later. You could wait a week or two and invite her again. If she says no to three invitations, let it go. Be friendly when you see her, but give her time and space to come to you. I don't know if the distance you're sensing with your friend is a temporary break, a longer-term cooling, or a full break-up. But if this friendship was good before, try to leave the door open to reconnecting by being friendly when you see her.This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question. And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 31 – Mila, Age 9: When someone tries to be annoying | Taking care of yourself versus trying to change othersWhat can Mila and her friends do about a kid who keeps bothering them?Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childDo you or someone you know fit the description of a high-energy kid who has trouble sitting still and tends to act without thinking about what might happen or how others might react? What are some good things about having a lot of energy? In what ways can it cause problems with adults or other kids?What does compassion mean? Why can imagining what life is like for someone else help us gain compassion for that person? Why is it important to try to find compassion even for people who annoy us?Dr. Friendtastic said, “If you've asked a kid politely to stop doing something two times, and they haven't listened, they're probably not going to listen.” Why is this a useful guideline? (Hint: What does it prevent you from doing? What does it allow you to focus on instead?)We can't control what others do, but we can control how we think about our situation. How can deciding that something someone else does isn't important be a way of taking care of yourself?How do you know when to ignore other kids' misbehavior and when to go to the teacher or other adult for help?TRANSCRIPTWelcome! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here's today's question:Hello, my name is Mila, and I'm nine years old. There's this one guy at school who's very annoying to me and my friends. He draws on our desk and calls us names. How do you think we should handle it?Hi, Mila. Thanks for sending in your question. I can see why you're feeling annoyed with this kid! So, what do you do when someone is trying to bother you? That's something a lot of kids have wondered.One important fact that you mentioned is that he's not doing this stuff just to you; he's also doing it to your friends. That makes me think this kid is probably someone who has trouble controlling his behavior, in general. He may be very restless and easily distracted. He may tend to do things without thinking about what will happen or how other people will react.Being in a classroom that requires a lot of sitting still and being quiet can be challenging for a high-energy kid like him. I bet he gets in trouble with the teacher a lot. He also may have a hard time making friends because his goofy actions can make other kids not want to be around him.I wonder if you and your friends can find some compassion for this kid by imagining what things are like for him in school. That's hard to do when you're feeling annoyed by someone, but it's also a kind choice.Finding compassion doesn't mean believing that his actions–calling you names and writing on your desks–are okay. They're definitely not!I'm assuming that you and your friends have tried asking him to stop, and he hasn't listened. He might even have done it more!So, here's a useful guideline to keep in mind: If you've asked a kid politely to stop doing something two times, and they haven't listened, they're probably not going to listen.This guideline is useful because it prevents you from continuing to do something that's not going to work, and it allows you to shift your goal from trying to change what the other person is doing toward focusing on taking care of yourself.If you knew that this kid was definitely not going to stop doing those annoying things, what would you do? How would you take care of yourself?Well, first you could ask yourself how big of a deal his annoying actions are. It doesn't sound like he's doing anything dangerous. You don't like what he's doing, but does it prevent you from learning? Probably not.One way of taking care of yourself might be to decide the annoying behaviors don't matter. You could just think to yourself, “There he goes, again. Oh, well,” or maybe “He can't help it. It's hard for him to stay focused.”If he calls you a rude name, but you and your friends know that name isn't true, does it matter? Not really. You don't have to correct him or argue about it because you know what's true.If he writes on your desk, well, that's definitely disrespectful of school property, but you could work in a different part of your desk or put a paper over his writing and move on. If the teacher asks why there's writing on your desk, you can explain how it got there, but I bet the teacher knows you wouldn't write on your desk.Over time, when he doesn't get a reaction from you and your friends, he might start to do the annoying things less. Or he might keep doing them. But you will have chosen not to be bothered by them and not to give them any importance.If this kid's actions are regularly interrupting your work, even after you've tried ignoring or not reacting for a while, then it might be worth asking the teacher for advice. The teacher may keep a closer eye on this kid or move him to a different spot, so you're not always the one who has to deal with his misbehavior.This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question.And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 30 – Michael, Age 10: Why do some kids push others around? | Getting positive versus negative attentionMichael wants to know why some kids think it's okay to physically push others.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childHave you ever gotten negative attention from other kids? (In other words, were kids talking or yelling at you because they were annoyed about something you were doing?) What's a good way to handle things when that happens?Do you know a kid like the one Michael describes? Why do you think that kid does what he does? How does this kid's actions affect their friendships?Michael says the pushing happens “every time” this kid goes on the slide. Why do you think asking a grown-up to stand near the slide at the beginning of recess, before anything bad has happened, could be a useful idea? How might this be better than complaining after someone has been pushed?Why might it be easier for the other kid to listen if Michael says, “Everyone needs to wait their turn” instead of “YOU need to wait your turn!”?TRANSCRIPTHi, there! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Let's listen to today's question:Hi, my name is Michael. I'm 10-years old, and there's this kid that every time he wants to go on the slide, and there's a kid on it, he pushes them down. And why does he think he can do that?Hi, Michael. Wow, that sounds very annoying! You know it's definitely not okay to physically push people. So why would this kid keep doing that?One reason is because he can. Because no one is stopping him!But why would he even want to push someone? There are a lot of possibilities. Maybe he has trouble waiting his turn, so he pushes because he's impatient to slide down himself. Maybe it makes him feel powerful to show that he's strong enough to push another kid. Maybe he thinks it's funny when the other kid is surprised or upset about being pushed.But my best guess is that this kid is looking for attention from other kids and doesn't understand the difference between positive and negative attention. Positive attention is when people pay attention to you, talk with you, play with you because they like being around you. Negative attention is when people notice and respond to you, but they do that because you're bothering them, so they might yell or say stop.Sometimes when kids can't get positive attention, they go for negative attention, just to get some interaction. The annoying things they do are actually clumsy efforts to connect. But going for negative attention isn't a path to friendship. In fact, it tends to push friends away.Okay, so how can you handle this situation? One idea might be, at the start of recess, go to the grown-up in charge and ask if they could stand near the slide to keep an eye on things. This might make it less likely that kid will push anyone. Preventing a problem is usually easier than dealing with it after it happens, and we don't want anyone to get hurt.If he's pushing kids in a dangerous way–maybe pushing them off the slide rather than just down it–that's a safety issue, and you definitely need to tell an adult.If this kid pushes one of your friends, that could be a chance for you to be an upstander and say something like, “Everyone needs to wait their turn without pushing!” It might be easier for him to listen if you say “everyone' instead of “you.”What about if he pushes you? You might want to say, in a loud, carrying voice that will get the teacher running over, “Keep your hands to yourself!” or “I don't like being pushed!”If this kid is sometimes nice and sometimes pushy, you may want to pay attention to him in a friendly way when he's kind and act bored or walk away if he's being pushy. Over time, this combination of more positive attention and less negative attention might help him learn kinder ways to connect with friends.This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question.And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 29 – Abby, Age 9: Dealing with Teasing | Dealing with spill-over anger. Avni asks what to do when a friend is angry about someone or something else but takes it out on her.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childDo you have strong feelings about bananas? Why or why not? (OK, that question doesn't have anything to do with friendship, but it's fun to think about!)What are some reasons why kids tease? Can you think of a time that someone teased you in a friendly way? How could you tell it was friendly rather than mean teasing?Have you ever been the target of mean teasing? What happened? How did you respond?Have you ever teased someone in what you thought was a fun and friendly way but the other kid got upset? What happened? Why do you think that kid was bothered by what you said? What did you do to help the other kid feel better?Why is it important to tell a friend if their teasing bothers you? What could happen to your friendship if you don't say anything about that?Dr. Friendtastic gave lots of examples of neutral or boring responses to teasing. Why might those work better than yelling at the teaser? Which of those comments would you feel comfortable saying if you were teased?TRANSCRIPTWelcome! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here's today's question:I'm Abby. I am 9. My question is, why do people tease you for attention?Hi, Abby! That's a very interesting question. Almost every kid has been teased, and it can be upsetting. You might feel angry, embarrassed, hurt, or sad. Teasing involves a combination of humor and aggression. The person getting teased may not find if funny, but the teaser almost always claims that they're just trying to be funny. There are lots of different kinds of teasing. Someone might take something of yours and hold it out of your reach. Or they might make fun of how you look or tell an embarrassing story about something you did. They might trash talk you during a sports game or call you names or imitate you in an exaggerated way. They might even tease you with noises, like saying, “Nyah Nyah!”You mentioned teasing for attention. Often kids tease because they're looking for a reaction from the person being teased. They may feel powerful or find it entertaining if the kid being teased gets upset. Teasers might also be trying to impress others. They might think that if they point out someone else's differences or difficulties, it makes them look better. That's not true. You can't lift yourself up by putting others down.Sometimes kids join in on teasing because they want to be part of a group and distance themselves from the kid being teased–sort of like announcing, “I'm nothing like that kid!”Sometimes teasers are mad about something but don't want to say it directly, so they lash out indirectly, through teasing. That's not a good way to solve problems!But sometimes teasing is a friendly sign of affection and playfulness. So, how can you tell the difference between friendly and unfriendly teasing?The most important clue is your relationship with the teaser. If you usually get along well, it's probably friendly teasing. If you don't, it's more likely mean teasing.How they tease matters. Does the teaser have a friendly smile or a mean smirk? Is their tone of voice silly or sarcastic? The topic of the teasing also matters. For instance, if a friend calls you something like “Hannah Banana,” well, that doesn't really say anything about you as a person, and you probably don't have strong feelings about bananas, so that's likely just goofing around. But if someone teases you about a more personal or sensitive topic, and especially if they do that in front of others, that's more likely mean teasing.So, that brings us to another question: How should you respond to teasing? Well, if you're friends with the teaser, but you don't like the teasing, say so! You could say, “Please don't call me that. I don't like it.” or “That's an uncomfortable topic for me. Could you please not tease me about it?” Good friends care about each others' feelings, but they can't read each other's minds. You may need to tell your friend directly if their teasing bothers you.If the teasing is friendly and silly, you could respond with silliness or just say a classic line like “I know you are but what am?” or “That's so funny I forgot to laugh.” Be careful that you don't respond with mean teasing to a friend who's just being silly. But what about unfriendly teasing? Showing how upset you are or talking about how hurt you feel could give an unfriendly teaser the reaction they're looking for. Trying to be mean back will definitely make the situation worse. Sometimes ignoring works, but often that just makes the teaser try harder to get a reaction. You may want to try giving a bored response then calmly walking away. You could say, “So what?” or “OK” or “Tell me when you get to the funny part.” Bored agreement with the teasing can be a conversation ender. “Yep, that's true. I'm bad a free throws.” You could also pretend it's a compliment and say, “Thanks for noticing!” with a big, fake smile.Then don't hang around to listen or argue! You don't respect the unfriendly teaser's opinion, so walk away like it doesn't matter.If the teasing is very hurtful, and it continues even after you've tried giving a bored response and walking away a few times, or if it's a group of kids picking on you, you may want to talk privately with a grown-up who can help.This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question. And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 28 – Avni, Age 11: Being unfairly targeted by a friend's anger | Dealing with spill-over anger. Avni asks what to do when a friend is angry about someone or something else but takes it out on her.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.ENTER THE CONTESTTake a photo of your cat or dog with a (real) copy of my new, funny, and useful book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids (for ages 6-12). Post it on social media with the hashtag #GrowingFeelings. Winners will receive fun pet toys!SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childHave you ever felt like a second-choice friend? How did you handle it? Do you think it's possible to be good friends with someone if they like someone else more than they like you? Why or why not?Has a friend ever told you that they feel left out or jealous of your other friend? How did you respond?What does “all-or-nothing thinking” mean, when it comes to friendship? Why is it not a good idea?Saying, “You're mean!” is not a good way to encourage someone to be kinder to you. Why do you think kids sometimes accuse friends of being mean? What are some better ways to communicate so your friends will want to listen when you tell them about a problem?TRANSCRIPTHi, there! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here's today's question:Hi, My name is Avni, and I'm 11-years old. What if my friend is very angry about something, and she lets all her anger on me and my other close friend? What will I do? Hi, Avni. Thanks for sending in your question! That's such an interesting issue! On the one hand, you care about your friend and want to support her. On the other hand, it sure doesn't feel good to have a friend lashing out at you, just because she's mad at someone or something else!A lot of people think that if they feel angry, they have to “let it out.” Research says this is absolutely and completely wrong! Just lashing out at whoever's around? That's not helpful, and it's not kind. So learn from your friend's example, and try not to take your anger out on others. That doesn't help anyone feel better, and it could make the situation much worse! Okay, but how can you respond to spill-over anger, when your friend unfairly takes her anger out on you? Try hard not to be mean back to her! You don't want to get into a contest of who can be meaner! That never ends well!Maybe you did something very tiny or even neutral, but your friend had a big reaction to it. Depending on what you did that triggered her reaction, you might want to apologize–I'm sure you weren't trying to annoy your friend–but then you might want to comment on her reaction to try to understand it.You could say, “You seem very upset about this. Is something else going on?”Maybe she'll explain what the real problem is, and you can offer support or comfort. My guess is that's what she really wants from you.Or maybe she'll continue to yell at you. If that happens, you could say something like, “I don't like being yelled at” or “I don't like how you're treating me right now” or “I'll talk to you when you're feeling calmer.” Then walk away.There's a balance here that you need to figure out between supporting your friend and protecting yourself from being her punching bag. If this is a situation that comes up often, it may be a good idea to talk to your friend about it at a neutral time. This will probably go best if you do it one-on-one. Two of you confronting her at the same time could make her feel ganged up on. You could say something like, “I know you've had a lot of stressful things happening lately, but it seems like you often yell at me when you're upset about something else. Could you please try to tell me what's going on instead of yelling at me? That would make it easier for me to support you.”This isn't easy to do. Our instinct when someone yells at us is to yell back! If they criticize us or call us a name, we want to say all the ways that they're even worse! But if you care about this friend and want to continue this friendship, talking things through without putting her down could help. Everyone makes mistakes, and forgiving friends for the times when they mess up is part of being a good friend. But if this friend isn't interested in trying to treat you better, even when she's angry, this may not be a friendship worth continuing. Think about how often this problem happens and whether the good parts of your friendship outweigh the bad. This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question. And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 27 – Dr. Friendtastic's Friendship League: Josh MartinDr. Friendtastic's Friendship League is made up of adults who care about kids and have volunteered to share with you about a friendship rough spot they faced as a kid plus a kind thing a friend did for them. In this episode, Josh Martin, who is the voice of Dragon Ball Z's Majin Buu, talks about coping with being the new kid. Learn more about Josh at https://www.instagram.com/originalbuu/?hl=en.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childBeing “the new kid” can happen when we move homes or when we join a new group or activity. Have you ever felt like “the new kid”? How did you handle that?Dr. Friendtastic says that common ground is where friendships grow. What does that mean to you? What are some ways to find or create common ground with other kids?Which activities have you done that have been most helpful to you for making friends?Being kind doesn't guarantee that someone will become our friend. Why is it a good idea to be kind, anyway?TRANSCRIPTHi, I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ. Today we have a visit from a member of Dr. Friendtastic's Friendship League.The Friendship League is made up of adults who care about kids and who have volunteered to share with you some memories from when they were a kid about a friendship rough spot they faced plus a kind thing a friend did for them. Let's listen!What's up?! Josh Martin here, the voice of Dragon Ball Z's Majin Buu. I have been asked by Dr. Friendtastic to share with you a couple of my experiences with friends when I was a kid. The first one that comes to mind was a rough spot that I had with a friend or should I say “friends” because I didn't have any because I was the new kid in school you know obviously that is a rough time. I don't know if you've ever experienced that or not, but I'm sure you've at least known the new kid and known how awkward that can be. Well, it was the same for me, but I was able to get through it with honesty and being myself and being considerate of others. You know, I was the new kid. I couldn't be expected to just hop in and be a part of the group. I took my time, paid attention, and eventually, I found those friends that liked the same kind of movies and music. I got into a play and, you know, the rest is history! Some of those friends are still friends to this day!That brings me to my second experience, which was when a friend did something nice for me. And, because of the way that I've always been– honest, truthful with everyone and myself… Boy, I've done the same for others and they've done the same for me. I've been invited to swim parties, vacations, go to the lake, you know, or just over for ice cream, or spend the night, or whatever. You know, I've been fortunate to have a lot of friends do a lot of nice things for me, and they continue to do that. And I believe that's because being nice, being honest, being considerate, doing what you can for others…you'll get it back, No, I'm no doctor. Listen to Dr. Friendtastic…or I'll turn you to chocolate and eat cha! Hahahaha!Wow, Josh! You covered so many important ideas about friendship.A lot of us have been “the new kid.” My family moved a fair bit when I was growing up, so I know how hard it can be to feel like an outsider! I like how you took your time and looked around to find kids who had similar interests to you. That common ground is where friendships grow. And getting involved in the play… What a great idea! Kids make friends by doing fun things together. So, even though it might feel uncomfortable at first, getting involved, doing activities, or working on projects together are all great ways to make new friends or deepen the friendships you already have. I also like how you emphasized being honest and kind. We tend to get back from the world what we send out. Kindness is definitely the key to friendship. And for you, it opened up lots of fun opportunities. Being kind to someone doesn't guarantee that person will become our friend, but it shows that we're open to friendship, which can be a good start. And it also makes us feel good to know we're doing the right thing. I'll be back next week with a question about friendship from a kid. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question.And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 26 – Abigail, Age 10: Feeling like a second-choice friend | Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothingAbigail wonders what to do when her two friends would rather play with each other than with her.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.ENTER THE CONTESTTake a photo of your cat or dog with a (real) copy of my new, funny, and useful book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids (for ages 6-12). Post it on social media with the hashtag #GrowingFeelings. Winners will receive fun pet toys!SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it's not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childHave you ever felt like a second-choice friend? How did you handle it? Do you think it's possible to be good friends with someone if they like someone else more than they like you? Why or why not?Has a friend ever told you that they feel left out or jealous of your other friend? How did you respond?What does “all-or-nothing thinking” mean, when it comes to friendship? Why is it not a good idea?Saying, “You're mean!” is not a good way to encourage someone to be kinder to you. Why do you think kids sometimes accuse friends of being mean? What are some better ways to communicate so your friends will want to listen when you tell them about a problem?TRANSCRIPTWelcome! I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I'm an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here's today's question.My name is Abigail, and I'm 10. My two friends are really good friends, and I think I'm one of their friends, but when one of my friends is not there, and they're like they're sick or something, that friend just hangs out with me so much. But then, once that friend gets better, they just start hanging out with each other, and I don't know, but I just don't exist anymore. ‘Cuz it feels like they're only hanging out with me because like, “Oh, this person is gone, so I'm just going to hang out with this girl cuz she's the best I can get!”Hi, Abigail. Thanks for sending in your question! Ouch! That stings to feel like your friends only want to hang out with you when they don't have better options! But let's be careful here: You're assuming you know what your friends are thinking and feeling–that you're a second-choice friend, and they don't really care about you–but you may not be right. It's possible that the other two girls are closer friends with each other than they are with you. Maybe they live closer together so they see each other more often, or they do some activity together that you don't do, or they've known each other longer, or they just have a very special bond. But just because they have a special connection doesn't mean they don't care about you. The fact that you have a good time with these girls one-on-one, and they want to be with you a lot when their other buddy isn't around, suggests to me that they do like you!Now, you have a few options about how to handle this situation. One option is you could talk to each girl about the situation and ask for what you want them to do. Obviously, you don't want to say, “You're mean! You always dump me when your other friend is there!” That's not going to get the response you want. Instead, you could say something like, “I like you a lot, and I have fun playing with you. But sometimes, when all three of us are together, I feel left out. Could you please try to include me more?” So, you're emphasizing your connection, using “I” statements about your thoughts or feelings instead of “you” accusations, and asking directly for what you want them to do from now on. No guarantees, but there's a good chance the girls would respond well to a kind and clear message like that. The best time to talk about a problem is often when it's actually happening. That way the other person can know what you're talking about and maybe address it right away. For instance, you could say, “I'm feeling kind of left out right now.”Friendship threesomes can be difficult. If you think about a triangle where each friend is at one corner, it's hard to keep all the connecting lines exactly the same strength all the time. So, another option might be to add a fourth friend to your group to lower the tension.Still another possibility might be to enjoy these girls when they're being friendly and hang out with someone else when they're not. No friend is perfect, so we need to be careful to avoid all-or-nothing thinking. In other words, if you tell yourself you can only be friends with someone who likes you the very best and always does exactly what you want, you'd be shutting yourself off from lots of friendships. Only you can decide if the positive parts of your friendship with these girls– the caring and the fun you have together–outweigh the negative parts about them preferring each other's company. This has been Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you'd like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question. And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They're available through your library or wherever you buy books. Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

No one tells you that making friends as an adult is difficult. So, Jeanine sat down with Laura Tremaine to talk all about making friends and how to keep them!Want to send Jeanine a message?  You can do that here: https://anchor.fm/happyandhealthy by clicking "Message." Support our podcast!  Visit: https://anchor.fm/happyandhealthy and click "Support!" Follow us on Instagram! Happy and Healthy: https://www.instagram.com/HappyandHealthyPodcast/ Jeanine: https://www.instagram.com/jeanineamapola/Laura: https://www.instagram.com/laura.tremaine/ Follow us on TikTok! Happy and Healthy: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRktmycQ/ Jeanine: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRktnchb/ You can also listen to the audio form on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Overcast, Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and Radio Public. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/happyandhealthy/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/happyandhealthy/support

It's a mistake to prioritize romantic and familial relationships over friendship, argues psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco. Strong, supportive friendships expand our sense of self, she says, and are associated with greater well-being and health. Marisa offers research-based strategies to make new friends and deepen our existing friendships, including helpful concepts like mutuality and the mere-exposure effect. Marisa and Maya also discuss how to stay friends through big life changes, why fighting could make your friendship stronger, and how to break up with a friend with clarity and kindness. For more on Marisa's work, check out her book, “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1. Practical ways to make a friend and become what Dr. Franco calls a “Super-friend.” 2. How to address issues with a friend even if you hate conflict. 3. Why expressing anger is more likely to deepen a relationship than destroy it. 4. How we need to express vulnerability to make friends – but first, what the hell is vulnerability? 5. Destroying the unhelpful myth that friendship happens organically.  About Dr. Franco:  Dr. Marisa G Franco is psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author known for digesting and communicating science in ways tha change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. TW: @DrMarisaGFranco IG: @drmarisagfranco To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many of us struggle to build deep friendships as adults. We might feel too busy, too nervous to be the first to say hello, or too anxious about being rejected or hurt to invest in others. But there is hope in the gospel that we can cling to as we build biblical friendships. In this episode, Krystal sits down with pastor's wife, podcaster, and author, Christine Hoover to discuss the beauty of friendship and how to overcome the barriers we face to build it. You will be blessed by the biblical wisdom she shares and the encouragement she leaves with us as we seek true friendships rooted in the gospel. Sign up for the Daily Grace Podcast Newsletter and receive the free resource "Scripture for Every Season.” Time Stamps: 1:02 - About Christine Hoover5:42 - How to have biblical friendships9:25 - Barriers to friendship14:43 - Balancing friendship and busyness19:52 - How the gospel informs our friendships24:17 - Advice for building biblical friendships27:13 - How biblical friendship glorifies God30:29 - How the gospel has changed Christine Resources mentioned in this episode:  Christine's Website Christine's Instagram Ministry Wives Podcast Messy Beautiful Friendship Book Life Together Scripture mentioned in this episode: Galatians 6:2Luke 6:37Romans 12:10 James 5:16Proverbs 11:25Acts 20:352 Corinthians 1:22 Connect with us: Subscribe to Daily Grace: on iOS, go to our iTunes page and click subscribe.  On Android, click this podcast RSS feed link and choose your podcast app.  If needed, you can copy this link directly into your favorite podcast app (like Stitcher or Overcast). Or follow us on Spotify! We would love it if you took a few minutes to leave us an iTunes review to help spread the word about Daily Grace!  We want to invite more women into our conversations! Download The Daily Grace app: for iOS, click here to download.  On Android, click here to download. Visit The Daily Grace Co. for beautiful products for the whole family that will equip you on your journey to knowing and loving God more.  Subscribe to The Daily Grace Newsletter and receive free Bible study resources in your inbox.  Like The Daily Grace Co. on Facebook. Follow @dailygracepodcast on Instagram for exclusive podcast content and @thedailygraceco for all things The Daily Grace Co. Engage with our Facebook community, “The Daily Grace Co. Community”.  Read The Daily Grace blog for encouragement throughout the week that is steeped in biblical truths.   * Affiliate links used are used where appropriate. Thank you for supporting the products that support the production of this podcast! *

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls' Night! I'm so excited about today's episode. Today we're talking about friendship. I learned SO MUCH from our guest, and I can't wait for you to hear from her.  Our guest for today's episode is Dr. Marisa G. Franco. Marisa has a book called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends. Marisa is a brilliant psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author. She is known for digesting and communicating the science of human connection in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. Here are just a few of the things she's going to teach us in the episode: Why friendship is essential no matter what stage of life you're in How to not only make new friendships but also keep our friendships What an attachment style is and how we can figure out what ours is How to make new friends as an adult and improve the quality of our friendships And so much more! If you've been desiring deeper connections in your friendships, you're in the right place. Marisa seriously has an abundance of knowledge to share with us on this topic – I can't wait for you to hear from her!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have been surprised by something as an adult...I stink at friendship. When it comes to making new friends, or even staying connected with old friends, it has just become harder and harder. I also find myself become more and more introverted as I get older. And I think many of you can relate. Making and keeping friends as an adult has always seemed to be a hot topic, so if we're all feeling this pull then why is it still so tough? Psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Marisa G. Franco joins me today to offer the science backed reasons behind loneliness and relationships in a way that will have you nodding along in agreement. Honestly, you may even audibly gasp at some of her explanations - in a good way! The hard things you have been experiencing when it comes to friendship are real, and they have names, and there are ways to really support yourself through them. Get notified of when my habits class is available Full Show Notes Sticky Habit Method Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friendship might not necessarily be something you've considered to be an urgent psychological and physiological issue. One thing we explore a lot on the show is that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life, and sadly, in many ways, it's harder than ever to make and keep friends. With loneliness and disconnection on the rise, our society just wasn't constructed for social connection, and recent data suggests we're in a friendship crisis, with many of us reporting that we have fewer close friendships than ever.Our guest today is Robin Dunbar, an Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University and the author of numerous books on the development of homo sapiens. Dunbar is perhaps best known for formulating “Dunbar's number,” which is a measurement of the number of relationships our brain is capable of maintaining at any one time. He is a world-renowned expert on human relationships, and has a ton of fascinating research findings and practical tips for upping your friendship game.In this conversation, we dive into the science behind human relationships, the upsides and downsides of maintaining friendships on social media, the viability of friendships across gender lines, and what science says you can do to compensate if you feel you are currently lacking in close friendships. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-dunbar-372-rerunSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Psychologist Marisa Franco, author of a new book on the science of making and keeping friends, shares how to deepen the bonds in our platonic relationships.

Why do friends care about each other? How do you make friends? Can you have more than one best friend? How do you deal with a bully? We answer questions about friends and bullies with Dr. Friendtastic (also known as Eileen Kennedy-Moore), a psychologist and author of Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends. And we get lots of advice from kids themselves about how to make friends and deal with bullies.  Download our learning guides: PDF | Google Slide | Transcript Friendship is often about action. It's about what we do together, how we treat each other. The key to friendship is kindness.  Best friends are nice, but the word “best” can make it feel like a contest. Most people have different friends and for different situations. So it's okay to have several close friends instead of needing to identify just one best friend. Some people have lots of friends, but other people may just have a few close friends. People with more friends tend to put more effort into having more friends. It's okay to have a lot of friends or just a few!  To make friends, you have to show an openness to friendship. That can be as easy as smiling or saying hi. It's also important to be kind to potential friends. And it also helps to identify people who have similar interests to you. Then, invite them to do something. Kids make friends by doing fun things with other kids. Don't wait until you feel close to someone to invite them to do something; you become close by doing shared activities. Shy people might be unintentionally sending the message to potential friends that they don't like them. Stop focusing on being uncomfortable and instead look the other kid in the eye (or the forehead if eye contact is hard for you), smile and say hello. Practice it with an adult.  At recess or on the playground, bigger groups of kids will be more open to you joining than groups with just two or three kids.  Research shows that instead of asking if you can play with a big group, hang back and watch for a few minutes to figure out the game the other kids are playing, and then just join in. If you ask “Can I play with you?” you risk interrupting the play.  Bullying is deliberate (intentional) meanness directed at one person where there is an imbalance of power. For example, an older or more popular kid picking on a younger or less popular kid.  It's important to know the difference between bullying and meanness. Bullying requires adult intervention. If you're having a problem with a friend that is not bullying, you may still want to talk that through with an adult, but it's often possible to handle that conflict with your friend on your own.