WifeMotherLeader Podcast

I gave a “career path” talk recently and outlined 4 key lessons that I had learned along the way. What I actually discovered was that those lessons had shaped me as a person and how I live my life. Alignment between work and life is so important and these lessons might help you: Plan in Pencil Trust Your Gut Create a Point of View Be Her/Him/Them

When I was 30, I imagined a grand celebration (maybe an exotic trip or a huge party) for my 40th birthday. I imagined a different body, career, home, etc. As I look back on celebrating my birthday, the only word that comes to mind is gratitude. Tune in to this episode to hear what I am grateful for at age 40 and how I celebrated!   www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

I am turning 40 this coming week so there's been a lot of time for reflection on my life and choices. This episode isn't going to focus on that. But, I have landed on a couple of questions that I want to keep asking myself this year and throughout the next decade. So, in this episode I am going to share these two questions in the hope that they might help you wherever you are on your own personal journey. What am I afraid of? What will I regret? www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

One casualty of the pandemic that we aren't talking about is marital relationships.  Living through a pandemic puts a strain on everyone and everything.  In this episode, I share about the lessons that I've learned about marriage in 2 years of the pandemic.  There are some important things that I'll be taking with me from this season so help our marriage be even stronger.  Looking to talk or connect.  Check out my free 20 minute laser coaching:  www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

We've been in this pandemic for nearly two years.  Life still feels locked down/restricted and yet the work continues. Schools are back in session, but at any time your child could come for days or weeks either with COVID or with an exposure.  In this episode let's talk about practical ways for you to get some relief: meal prep, house cleaning, laundry, kids, mental health and physical health. Want to talk? Need some advice? www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

I love goal setting and planning. I've shared on this podcast in years past my goal setting process and areas. I have goals for this year but in this episode I am focused on my intentions for 2022. Tune in to learn about the difference between a goal and an intention and how you can utilize both to become the person you want to be. This is about WHO you want to be in the world, not about what you want to achieve. Want to connect with me to talk about your goals or intentions for 2022?  https://www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Right as the pandemic started, we had been hoping to get pregnant with our 4th (and final) child. However, the uncertainty of a pandemic was too much for us to try and navigate along with remote schooling for our kids, remote work, and just trying to stay

I've had more crucial conversations at work in this one year than I've had in my entire career. Part of that is because I lead a team and have a leadership role within my department. Part of it is because I lead with my values so I can't sit by and

We've all heard the numbers about the Great Resignation.  But, the real question is should YOU leave your job? What questions do you need to ask yourself to know if there is any hope where you are, if you should move to a new organization or if you should take a break from work altogether?   Tune in to this episode to walk through each path to help determine your next move.   

Are you tired, exhausted, overwhelmed? Have you found yourself being more irritable, less focused, less patient, uninterested in things that you care about? This year has worn us down and many folks are at a breaking point and may be close to or experiencing burnout, mental exhaustion, and even physical symptoms. In this episode, we talk about being willing to share what you are experiencing with someone you trust and how to take steps to get the support you need. Resources:  Therapy for Black Girls Innopsych https://www.psychologytoday.com/ https://www.betterhelp.com/ Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

In episode 76, I shared about my goals for 2021. I talked about focused on key habits in several areas of my life, along with a few achievement oriented goals. Well, I wanted to follow-up immediately with examples from this past week so you see the ups and downs that come with goal setting and habit building, even when you are focused on areas that you have complete control over! Looking for connection or support?  Sign-up for a free laser coaching session at www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Have you made it through Q1 of 2021 without any goals for the year? (Raising my hand!). I am ready to set some goals, but first had to have an honest conversation with myself about what I actually have control over. Listen to this episode if you want to understand how the illusion of control can sabotage your goal setting! I’ll share my habit goals in 4 areas of life (personal development, marriage, parenting and career) as well as my achievement goals. Finally, you’ll learn a quick way to set your own goals for the rest of 2021. Looking for some quick, free coaching tackle a work-life challenge?  Go to www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

There is no way I will record a podcast without talking about what happened in Atlanta on Tuesday, March 16th and the rise in anti-Asian violence in 2020 and into 2021. Racism is alive and well. Sexism is alive and well. Structural racism and government sponsored racism was renewed and accelerated by #45, but it’s always been here. In this episode, I talk about showing up as an ally (what to do and what NOT to do). I also share with my Asian American and Pacific Islander brothers and sisters about how they have power over how, when and with whom they engage on this subject.

You know you need a break! You’re exhausted and running on fumes. But, how can you actually take a break, especially during COVID? In this episode, I share about the restart of my hotel night away and share other ways that I build breaks into my day/week/life. Listen in to learn sustainable and practical ways (big and small) to build breaks into your life. Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

I’ve learned some important lessons in the last year. My birthday is a great time to reflect on them. I want to approach the last year of my 30s with wisdom, humility and boldness. Lessons learned include: My story and my experience have value to others I have a point of view that is based on education AND lived experience I have zero interest in showing up in a space and not being able to be myself. Calm and grace under pressure are remarkably valuable There are opportunities in front of me every day to give and serve I can’t have it all Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching  

2021 is not a rebound year. Giving yourself the space to acknowledge the fear and loss of 2020 is important if you’re going to move forward in hope. In this episode, Donielle shares the fears she dealt with in 2020 along with how she is walking in hope for 2021. Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Marriage takes work even in the best of times.  But, marriage during a pandemic must also take on stress response, tight quarters, no alone time, financial challenges, etc.  Sharing the load of childcare, trying to keep working, and the stress of what we are experiencing collectively in our national and world is going to expose the cracks in your relationship.  One article I read talks about how those cracks can become a fracture.  In today’s episode, I share how those cracks can be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship by putting in some “reps” on relationship muscles that will serve you well beyond this experience.  Today’s episode focuses on communication, grace and giving the benefit of the doubt.  Communication Finding time to connect each day, and not just about chores, kids, etc.  Sharing challenges or grievances without blaming Don’t rush to solve things in a single conversation Speaking up when you need something Example    Grace What we are experiencing requires us to show grace to ourselves and to each other Definition of grace   Example Benefit of the doubt Building trust De-centering ourselves Seeking to understand  Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

You're committed to being anti-racist, learning and want to take action! But, what should you do next and where do you start? In this episode, I share how you can create a personal plan to use your resources, time, and skills to address racism. Don't be discouraged or afraid. You can take both small steps and big leaps! Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

The third episode in my series on race explores my experiences in the workplace, which were actually formed by my experiences as a student. I share about explicit and implicit experiences of racism, both at the system level (policies, etc) and personal level with interactions with co-workers and managers. This is one of the most vulnerable episodes I have ever recorded. Laying bare my feelings, frustrations, and hurts. And, you'll understand why to this day I still have to shape and mold myself to fit into white spaces when I first start a job. Every Black person's experience is unique, but there are common threads that you'll hear in my story. Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Comparison to others and sky-high expectations about ourselves is often framed as a competitive motivational tool. However, it often results in self-criticism and discontent.  I see it in myself and in others that I coach and support.  During COVID, if you have some semblance of financial stability or security during this time, the pressure to use this time for self-improvement, reflection, reading, self-care, etc. is rampant and dangerous.  And, I am one of the people telling you to take care of yourself.  Telling you to find a way to engage with black and brown people in a meaningful way if you care about eliminating racism.   Last week, I told you about my coping mechanisms like audiobooks, exercise and even regular sex.  And, yet, I am telling you right now to lower your expectations.  Your #1 goal in a pandemic is to survive with your health, both mental and physical, intact.   Your #1 goal is the health and safety of your family, to the extent that you have some control over your immediate household and what you do.    Second, if you have a job, your #2 is to keep you job such that you can provide for yourself. Listen to this episode as I outline 3 Steps to lowering your expectations in a way that actually promotes long-term success as the person you want to be.  Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Is your go to chocolate, Netflix, or scrolling Instagram? We are all finding ways to cope.  Some healthy.  Some....well, not.   In this episode, I share some of the things I am using to cope, process, and entertain/escape.   It's fun, honest, and practical.  Things I talked about in the episode: www.beautycounter.com www.Teambodyproject.com https://www.marklauren.com/apps/ https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/ Books:  Seeking God’s Face Stamped From The Beginning How to Be An Antiracist I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in A World Made for Whiteness Compassion and Conviction The Vision Driven Leader Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching  

Join me in an honest, funny and raw conversation with licensed therapist, Kelley Anne Bonner, as we talk about burnout. Kelley shares what burnout is and how to recognize it. We talk about why so many women are close to or already experiencing burnout, including the ways in which we try to address it by being more productive and just trying harder (hint: those don’t work!). In our conversation, Kelley shares her 3-step framework to help you get in alignment so that you can address your own burnout, or prevent it. As two black women, we also discuss how COVID-19 and the racial climate in America are contributing to the collective exhaustion and risk of mental health challenges. This is an important and wonderful conversation that you should take time to listen to and share with someone who needs to hear it. Connect with Kelley: https://letsburnbright.com/ Instagram: @letsburnbright Please take a moment to review and subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session https://www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching  

The second episode in my series on race focuses on the importance and beauty of Black Love and Black Marriage in a world that is racist. I share about how my husband and I have created a safe space in our home and marriage to be our full selves while unpacking the racial injustice that we experience. Listen to examples of how everyday experiences with race play out and how it we try think through and unpack them. While our marriage is unique to us, the experience is likely similar to what many Black couples face. Review and Subscribe in iTunes Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

As I shared in episode 61, we need to be talking about mental health. Our mental and emotional health needs the same level of support and care that we give physical health. In today's episode, I have a conversation with Dr. Christine Forte, a licensed counselor and host of the Mental Oasis Podcast. Christine and I talk about meditation and how it can be an important tool to help busy women (and men!) who are juggling so many things. And, in our current experience of a global pandemic and a deepening conversation about race in America, you need to protect and preserve your mental health. Listen to the entire episode, as Christine does a guided meditation in the episode to give you a taste of how meditation can help calm your mind. Use this as an opportunity to commit yourself to a new habit! Links: Mental Oasis Podcast Calm App Headspace App Enjoy this episode? Subscribe in iTunes or Spotify and share it with someone else! Looking for some advice or help during this time? Sign-up for a free 20 min coaching session:  www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

A deeply personal episode where I share my thoughts, anger and grief over the America that I've known for 38 years that many are just waking up to. Listen to my thoughts on how important it is to understand systemic racism before you can start supporting and helping. I'll also share why supporting, standing in solidarity and even allyship are minimums if you really want to see change.

Self-care has become an overused mantra that only adds guilt because it’s one more thing you are not doing! During this pandemic, I’ve tried to find small ways to care for my mental, physical and spiritual health. In this episode, I dive into each one to help you identify ways you might include self-care into your daily life and why it doesn’t necessarily mean massages and manicures:) Sleep Eat as healthy as you can At least 1 day of “self-care” (hair, non-pajamas or sweats, makeup if you wear it, etc.) Exercise 4-6 days per week Carve our alone time Pray Daily Share this episode Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.    In the midst of COVID-19, the need for mental health support has only increased.  While it would be great for employers to cover mental health services and provide support, many do not.  So, for now, it’s up to you to advocate for yourself and get the support you need.    You are not alone.  There is help and support.  In this episode, we will talk about where to find it.  We need insurance and policy makers to address mental health like they do physical health.  Until this happens, we need to take it into account ourselves Your goal is to maintain your mental health and potentially learn new strategies and coping mechanisms.  Depending on your circumstance, you may be going after these things on your own.  Stress Management: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm Mindful.org: https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/ Apps Calm App: https://www.calm.com/ Headspace App: https://www.headspace.com/ Your organization's employee assistance program Therapy Betterhelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ Talkspace: https://lp.talkspace.com/ Faithful Counseling: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/ Regain (individual and couples therapy): https://www.regain.us/ Teen counseling: https://www.teencounseling.com/ See a provider in your health insurance network Online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: https://www.learntolive.com/ Prayer/Scripture:  Dwell App: https://dwellapp.io/ Greater Good Magazine: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ Mental health stigma is dangerous and must be addressed Learn about the resources and share them with your family, colleagues and team Ask HR to share resources Be transparent about how you’re doing   Share this episode Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session https://www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Happy Mother’s Day!   In today’s episode, I share 6 things that have become clear and in-focus during this global pandemic.  Some are lessons that I already knew that are being reinforced and a few are new things that want to take with me when this pandemic is over.  God’s grace is sufficient to sustain me My children’s mental and physical health is a gift that I don’t take for granted My kids are not judging me, they are longing for me I need to be playing more In an effort to not helicopter, I was too hands off related to school I am a better mother when my cup is full  Enjoy this episode? Subscribe in iTunes or Spotify and share it with one other mother! Looking for some advice or help during this time? Sign-up for a free 20 min coaching session: www.wifemotherleader.com/coaching

Today, I want to talk about WORK.  Yeah, that thing we are supposed to be getting done during a pandemic, while caring for kids, worrying about our parents, cooking 3 meals per day and keeping our homes extra clean.  Sounds ridiculous when I say it like that.  And, yet, if you are still able to work, that is a blessing, as so many people have lost jobs and thus income.   About 3 weeks into this, I was on a call and noticed that I wasn’t “myself”.   I first attributed it to fatigue, some anxiety, and the total change we had experienced. And, while that is all true, I think something deeper was happening.    Not only was I not at 100% (who is?), I was actually changing my behavior and pulling back on the way I show up at work.  And, this is not judging or being harsh on myself during a pandemic.  I actually was struggling because I knew that I wasn’t being myself.  On this episode, I want to share a few things that I learned and how I moved forward, including showing up as that person at work this week and having some awesome team members reach out to based on a direct response I gave (typical of me:)) What you need to understand:  No one is at 100% right now.   Be honest with yourself about how you’re doing.  Look for evidence, data, or even feedback that you’ve been given.   Be honest with  your manager about how you’re doing.  If you need help, ask for it.  Have a discussion about the prioritization of what you are working on.   Identify the specific strength that you bring to your team.   Focus on those, even if you’re not at 100% Focus on quality and not quantity. If you don’t have a system to track what you are working on (trello, basecamp, asana, etc, figure out a system to help keep you sane) you need to get one.  It can be just for you.  Each day, identify at least one important thing that you need to work on.  Spend the first 30 min of your work time on that thing   It would be ridiculous of me to not address the realities of home that I can say with nearly 100% certainly are having an impact on you.  Ask for what you need from your spouse.  More cooking? More help with kids? More flex?   If you don’t feel like things are being split correctly, this is the time to speak up (in love). Decrease you information intake Find someone to talk to.  Connect with a trusted friend, sister, mother, etc. Bring mindfulness into your life.  Maybe you tried it before and it didn’t work.  Try again. Do at least one self-care thing per week, and more if you can. Sleep     WifeMotherLeader Coaching Sign-up for a free 20 min flash coaching session

DeLise Bernard and Dericka Oddoye , the creators of Surviving Homeschool share their journey of creating a community of parents navigating the challenges of becoming “instant homeschoolers” due to COVID-19.   From the moment that their own lives changed to the quick and deeply thoughtful way they created this virtual “PTA”, which now has over 5000 members, you don’t want to miss this interview.  Dericka and DeLise provide some great practical tips including:   How to create a schedule (and give your kids choice) What to do to address the dreaded “I’m bored” (brilliant idea!) How to help your kids be more self-sufficient using the “fend for yourself” technique The best way to utilize online resources The important of recognizing the emotional toll this has taken for kids Additionally, DeLise and Dericka share their own personal realizations and during this time and how it’s helping them be kinder to themselves, recognize their own strengths, and be braver in a time when they’ve been called to serve others in such an important way.  This is a conversation you don’t want to miss! You can find Surviving Homeschool on these platforms: Facebook Instagram Twitter Surviving Homeschool Sports Clinic (Saturday, April 25)

In this episode, health coach and fitness expert Rene Kennedy shares 6 tips for supporting your immune system during COVID-19 and all the time.   Rene also shares her journey from being someone who was always health conscious and active, even studying exercise science in school, to working in healthcare technology.  A layoff soon after her first son was born led to pursuing her passion for helping people achieve better health.  Rene first talks about how the immune system works.  Then, she shares tips that are practical, with specific examples to help you incorporate them, even during the COVID-19 lockdown.  About your immune system: 10:55 Circulation and lymphatic flow:  13:40 Sleep 19:07 Nutrition: 24:09 Stress: 26:59 Herbs and supplements: 33:57 Cleanliness: 38:30 Stellar Performance on Facebook Stellar Performance on Instagram Listen to the end to learn about the contest Rene and I are running to give away 3 health coaching or virtual personal training sessions!   www.wifemotherleader.com/rene

This is an unprecedented time for everyone. In this episode, Donielle shares the lessons that she’s learned (so far) during the COVID-19 Pandemic.  Tune in to hear the challenges, lessons learned, and practical advice to help you navigate working and teaching your kids at home, while trying to take care of yourself and everyone else!  It's honest and practical, just what you need during a time like this.  Lesson 1: Lower Your Expectations (4:45) Lesson 2: Have Some Fun (18:03) Lesson 3: Create a Flexible Schedule (21:08) Lesson 4: Don’t Forget About Your Spouse (28:53) Lesson 5: Seek Resources, But Don’t Compare or Beat Yourself Up (32:45) Lesson 6: Find A Way To Help (36:51) Lesson 7: Take Care of Yourself (39:34) Resources Mentioned in this episode:  Surviving Homeschool The Measured Mom Beast Academy Dwell Bible Reading App WifeMotherLeader 20 Minute Flash Coaching

Tune in to hear Laura's amazing story of how a life-changing accident changed her relationship with herself, with those who love her and with chaos. Her journey is a powerful story of resilience and grace. Key points There will be moments in your life that test your inner strength Everyone has a story. Remember that when you are interacting wtih people. No matter what happens to you, your outlook that you take is your choice Life can be chaotic, but don’t let the chaos define you. Don’t label yourself negatively Get help from your family, friends and community. Life is not meant to be done alone If you are feeling overwhelmed, break things down into small steps. Focus on one day at a time. It’s ok to grieve, whether it’s a loss or traumatic event or just a path that you thought your life would take. You don’t have to just keep going and getting things done and “be strong”. How her faith and family has helped her process this situation Learn more about Laura and her business at Impressions Marketing and Events

What are you doing for your birthday? This simple question prompted me to think about how much I downplay my birthday, not because of my age (I’ll be 38 on Monday), but because of this season of life. It feels like there is no time for me to plan a birthday event for myself. Of course, I could make time, but my default is to prioritize the other 20 things going on in my life. So, on this birthday episode, I am going to share 9 ways that you might think about celebrating yourself, especially on your birthday. This will include things that OTHER people can do for you, if you’d let them Day off from work. Birthday dinner with your local friends Hotel Night away (check out Episode 32: Mom’s Night Away--My Secret Self-Care Weapon) Take a trip (check out Episode #50: Life Design with Lauren Lambrecht) Self-Care Day Take yourself to a Movie Learn something new / take a class Buy that thing you’ve been wanting...yes, go ahead. Throw yourself a party

It’s Valentine's day and there is going to be a lot of focus on love:) Yay, love! But, I am going to challenge you to show love to yourself in a tangible way this year. Free Invest in Yourself Guide You hear a lot these days about how the future is female and if you invest in women, you help everyone. That is often shared in the context of developing countries, but it’s true more universally. When you invest time, money, expertise and resources into women, you get an insane ROI because those women invest that into their families and communities and everyone does better. Now, take that concept home and into your own life. The time you spend learning, growing, investing in your career, in your health, focused on your finances, your marriage and your parenting are all going to benefit the people who are in those relationships with you. Namely, your colleagues, your kids, your husband, your friends, etc. In today’s episode, I am going to lay out a quick framework for creating and “Invest in ME plan” for 2020. If you’ve already set goals for you, you can use that and translate it into how you will invest in yourself. You don’t need to set new goals, necessarily. I just want you to go through the goals you have set and identify which ones are an investment in YOU www.wifemotherleader.com/blog/investinme

We all have too much to do and not enough time. One of the things I want to do more of this podcast is share resources that I have actually used to make changes in my life. The book, Essentialism, by Greg McKeown, is one of those resources. I read essentialism several years ago.  I can actually trace my journey to my current job and to the relaunch of this podcast to some of the lessons in that book. In today’s episode, we will explore some key questions that you can ask yourself to use the power of Essentialism in your own life. Additionally, I’ll provide my top takeaways from the book as well as a resource guide that you can download. What am I deeply passionate about? What taps my talents? What meets a significant need in the world?

Knowing what your priorities and drivers are at work, as well as your communication preferences is critical if you want to succeed and feel fulfilled. Checkout the free strengths and assessment guide at: https://www.wifemotherleader.com/blog/assess In today’s episode, Donielle helps you explore key questions including: What type of work do you love doing? What team structure do you prefer? What type of work do you hate doing? What is good for you to keep doing regardless of how much you like it? Do you care about the mission of the organization that you work for? What are 2-3 specific things you are trying to get out of this position/role/season of your career? What are your key drivers for working? Which personality/communication style assessment have you taken previously or do you plan to take this year? Checkout the free strengths and assessment guide at: https://www.wifemotherleader.com/blog/assess

In today's episode, Donielle interviews Lauren Lambrecht of Verve Leadership (www.verveleadership.com). Lauren is a certified coach who specializes in life design and transition coaching. Lauren’s clients have successfully navigated major life transitions, including identifying and landing their dream job, acclimating to leadership roles, passing professional certification exams, and rejuvenating relationships with partners, family members, and themselves. Tune in as they discuss: The biggest mistakes people, and particularly women, making as we navigate our careers? What is career and/or life design? How does one actually design their career? What parts of one’s work is actually “designable”? What if you face resistance from your spouse/partner What if you face resistance at work?

This gon' be my year! Happy 2020:) In this episode to start 2020, Donielle shares her themes (song, word, action and scripture) for 2020. Listen as she shares: What I am leaving behind in 2020 Judgement Fear-based decision making Lack of accountability What I am taking with me into 2020 or starting in 2020 Accountability Action over analysis Listening Themes! My theme songs: India Arie Just Do You / This Gone Be My Year My theme word: Create My theme action: Tracking My Theme verse: Colossians 3:23-24 Check out www.wifemotherleader.com/blog/2020 for a Free Theme and Accountability Planner!

What does it look like to show up as your full self at work? Between navigating the culture and politics of an organization, it can feel like there is no room for your to bring your full personality, experiences, gifts, skills, and opinions to work. T his is especially true for women and people of color. So, how can you navigate the terrain and make the space for yourself? Today, I want to talk about how to show up as more of yourself more quickly. Don’t change your game plan of proving yourself and building relationships Be gracious and curious Don’t gossip and don’t take on other people's issues or perceptions of others in the workplace. Heed warnings but judge for yourself Let your guard down when you are in 1:1 interactions (slowly) Don’t alter your personality to “fit” the organization of the team. That is exhausting and if you start doing that, you’ll have to keep doing it or risk being fake, etc. I’ll share what it looked like for me to how up full in my current job, which is my 4th job in my career. I’ll also reflect on my three prior jobs and discuss how I wish I has shown up

How can you successfully navigate a changing environment or challenging culture at work? How do you determine if you should stay or if you should go? What happens when you get stuck or your performance is subpar? In today's episode, we tackle the issue of external challenges and internal struggles at work. Specifically: What should you do when people (including your boss) leave? What if the the environment or culture is toxic? What should you do if you when you get stuck? Where do you turn when you’re not performing well (bored, overwhelmed, lacking skills, etc.)?

You’re likely reading this after some form of a Thanksgiving gathering/meal. Maybe you traveled or maybe you stayed put and hosted. Maybe (but I doubt it) the day was only full of joy and loving emotions. More than likely, it was a mix of love, laughter, chaos, some emotional tension or frustration, and maybe a meltdown. While I’d love for this to be an episode that only encourages you, my most important goal with WifeMotherLeader is meeting women where they are, in the messiness of family and work life. That mix isn’t always pretty and is almost never balanced. So, I am grateful for you. I am grateful that you take time to share your journey with me. And, I am grateful that I get to have my own journey, even when it’s messy and hard. I hope that in the midst of this holiday, you have things to be grateful for, even if they are messy. Happy Thanksgiving. As I reflected on this year, the things I am most grateful for are: Change Accountability Self-awareness Becoming a better listener My Faith My Family What are you grateful for this year?

Today’s episode is going to focus on a highly practical topic of understanding and maximizing your benefits at work. Now, depending on the size of your employer you'll see a huge variety in the benefits offered. But, whatever the size, you can and should be maximizing what they have to offer. Step 1: Understand all of your benefits Step 2: Identify gaps or things that you want to follow-up on Step 3: Discuss with your spouse/partner Step 4: Keeping things on your radar and make friends in HR

Over the past month, I shared a series focused on marriage. Throughout that series I shared tips and strategies, but not a lot of actual resources. This podcast is providing the practical elements if you are looking for tools and resources to help you improve your communication, especially in relationships and marriage. I am going to share 3 books and a DVD/video. Bible The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim Keller The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman Laugh Your Way to A Better Marriage by Marc Gungor (DVD)

We are finally coming to a close of this Marriage First Series!  I hope you enjoyed last weeks episode in which I interviewed my Husband, Cullen.  We had a blast and if you listened you got a glimpse into our relationship dynamics and how much fun we are having on this journey called marriage!  Now, our marriage is not perfect.  None are. But, we’ve worked hard, especially in the area of communication, which is the focus of today’s episode.    You hear it all the time at work and in life generally--communication is the key.  So, I’ll spoil things for you if you’re hoping for something deeper in this episode.   Clear, thoughtful and ongoing communication is critical to marriage success.  But, getting to that place is the topic of today’s episode.  Question about not speaking ill of your spouse from Episode 41 Marriage Communication Framework There is almost no such thing as a single conversation in marriage. We don’t make complex or challenging decisions in a single conversation Step 1: Introductory conversation after we identify that we need to make a decision or address and issue When we have a big discussion (where to move, healthcare options, more kids, job, aging parents, etc.) we start with an introductory conversation  Share how we are feeling or what we are thinking When do we want to come back and talk again (scheduled if needed or something it’s just saying, lets keep this ongoing) Step 2: Follow-up conversations When we come back together we share how we feel now. What have we learned since the last conversation?  Are we ready to make the decision?  If so, then we make it.  Once we make it, we still revisit and check-in.   Step 3: Next Follow-up conversation, if needed OR Check-in if we made a decision or resolved the issue.  Best Practices:  Understand each of your communication style and personality types.  You want to anticipate what challenges your two styles will have when communicating with one another.  Express your feelings respectfully--treat yourself like a toddler--use your words and talk about your feelings.  Understand how you behave when you’re upset Assume best intent Find a way to calm yourself before going into the conversation. Don’t behave like children when talk Listen and seek to understand

In this episode, a long awaited guest joins the show! My husband, Dr. Cullen Buie, comes on to answer some questions about the lessons he’s learned in marriage and advice he would give husbands and wives to build a loving and thriving marriage. Tune in to hear his very wise and often funny perspective on things. And, if you’ve wanted a glimpse into our relationship dynamic, this is your chance!

Who listens to a podcast to hear policies? Sounds totally boring, right? Well, today’s episode is important, not to listen to the policies Donielle and her husband have, but rather to help you think about your own. In the past two episodes, Donielle has been sharing about the concept of being marriage first. If you haven’t listened, you can check out episode 39, which focuses on what it means to be marriage first and episode 40 which talks about some marriage first habits. Today, she shares some policies in her own marriage. They don’t fall in the category of habits, because they are closer to guidelines that they both have committed to following. 1. Create the policies together and agree to adhere to them 2. Act loving even when you don’t feel like it. 3. Don’t speak ill of your spouse to other people 4. No “L” relationships

In last week’s episode, Donielle shared about being marriage first and why that is the framework that she and her husband live out in our marriage.   This week’s episode is focused on the how as much as the why.  Last week, was the why and this week will focus on the how. Donielle shares 6 habits that from her marriage.  Some of them you will have heard discussed before and some haven’t been explored on the show yet.  First, why focus on habits?  Habits are the daily actions that build our lives.  It’s the patterns that we adopt and the things that become second nature to us.   And, they are important because we can create them and break them. That means we have control or power over them.  And, in a world where we don’t have control over much else, including our spouse and their behavior and habits, taking control of your own is quite empowering.  Prayer Together daily Have a regular date night Build in Sex and Intimacy Serve One Another Work on Your Communication Skills Share Your Dreams

Being marriage first means that we believe one of the best things that we can do for our kids is to have a strong marriage. It provides them safety, stability and, hopefully, an example for later in life. And, it provides us the relationship that we dreamed of when we got married and vowed to try and create. Why be marriage first? Having kids certainly changes your marriage, but it doesn’t (or shouldn’t) redefine it When you’ve seen divorce, you see the work it takes to make marriage work very differently Marriage Takes Work Kids at the center is bad for kids Kids at the center is bad for you

We all feel stuck at times. It sucks! But, often we don't know a systematic way to get unstuck. In this episode, Donielle shares a 3-step process to get you unstuck: Acknowledge that you are stuck. Decide if you want to get unstuck (or if you want to quit, which is ok!) Use some creative strategies to start getting momentum. The process takes some honest conversations with yourself!

Excitement for others is great, but it’s not sufficient. In this episode, Donielle shares why you need to be excited about where things in YOUR life are going, as much as you’re excited for those you love and support. Donielle shares some key lessons including: Why excitement for other is not enough How to avoid the trap of the BIG thing you’re excited about Where your excitement should stem from Questions to ask about what you’re excited about Questions to ask to figure out what you can get excited about