Podcast appearances and mentions of Leslie J Anderson

In this episode, Trevor visits with Leslie J. Anderson, author of The Unmothers, which released from Quirk Books in August 2024. They talk about the book's major themes and ideas, including a dive into its anger and anxiety over issues pertaining to small towns, closed secrets, pregnancy, and parenthood. They also talk about the importance of demystifying the secrets everyone keeps surrounding birth and death, about building community and fighting back against the oppressive forces that continue to take away our rights, and a lot more.For more information about Leslie J. Anderson's literature, you can find her at lesliejanderson.com, and you can find The Unmothers at your local library or from your favorite bookseller. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sley-house-publishing-presents-litbits. https://plus.acast.com/s/sley-house-publishing-presents-litbits. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Crypto" is a slippery prefix, and it's best to be careful with it. Thanks to Evan Dicken for writing the bulk of today's episode. By day, Evan Dicken studies old Japanese Maps and crunches data for medical research at Ohio State University. By night, he does neither of these things. His audio fiction can be heard performed on: The NoSleep Podcast, Pseudopod, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, and Podcastle. He also writes media tie-in fiction for Legend of the Five Rings and Warhammer: Age of Sigmar. If you've got nothing better to do, feel free to visit him at www.evandicken.com.Thanks to Matthew Zahnzinger for voicing our CryptoNumismatist. Matthew is an amateur chef, a would-be world traveler, and still very much a stage actor in the Greater Boston area. If you're also in the area, check out TheatreUnCorked.com for info on his next performance in "The Lion in Winter" this December. He has been a regular cast member on The Penumbra Podcast, and a featured guest on Second Star to the Left. Reach out to him for voice acting inquiries at zahnzinger.m@gmail.com.The theme for the CryptoNumismatist is the Song “Homeward,” by Scott Buckley. CC licensed: https://www.scottbuckley.com.au/To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

Autumn is full of fun, cozy traditions, like keeping watch on the knothole man so he doesn't reach too far into our world.Thanks to Harrison Hamm for this episode's hidden lore segment. Harrison Hamm is an LA-based poet, screenwriter, and essayist originally from rural Tennessee. Selected for fellowships with New York Stage & Film Filmmakers Workshop, Diverso's The Minority Report, and Roadmap Writers, he has also received research grants for interdisciplinary academic, creative, and pedagogic pursuits at his alma mater Loyola Marymount University. Writing can be found published/forthcoming in The Missouri Review's "Poem of the Week," West Trade Review's "Ecobloomspaces" anthology, Pacific Coast Poetry's "Poetry Goes to the Movies" anthology, Fatal Flaw Literary, Broken Antler, Hominum Journal, Susurrus & more at harrisonhamm.com.Thanks to Rhys Lawton for voicing this episode's hidden lore. Rhys Lawton is an award winning performer, writer and director based in London. With over a decade of performance experience, and skills that include puppeteering, improvisational role play, interactive performance, and voice acting, Rhys can bring any character to life. Most recently he has been heard as Press Secretary Carson in the Silt Verses and Gryffudd in The Amelia Project. He has one cat at present.The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com. Stay Curious. Stay Wild. Stay Weird.

About The Unmothers: After the death of her husband, journalist Marshall is sent to the small town of Raeford to investigate a clearly ridiculous rumor—that a horse has given birth to a human baby. As she's pulled deeper into the town and its guarded people, she realizes Raeford may be harboring more dark secrets than she expected.   NEWS: We have a Bookshop.org shop now! Find all of our favorite books at our shop–and help out small businesses.    Recommended in this episode: The Night Guest by Hildur Knútsdóttir   UP NEXT: The Daughters of Block Island with special guest Crystal O'Leary-Davidson Buy our books here, including our newest Toil and Trouble.   

Leslie J. Anderson has spent much of her life riding, training, and caring for horses. Her collection of poetry, An Inheritance of Stone, was nominated for an Elgin Award. She has a master's in creative writing from Ohio University and lives in Ohio with her family. The Unmothers is her debut novel. NEWS: We have a Bookshop.org shop now! Find all of our favorite books at our shop–and help out small businesses.  UP NEXT: The Unmothers   Buy our books here, including our newest Toil and Trouble.   

Best to have a telepathic microphone when searching for cryptid dragonflies. Sometimes the simple, straightforward solutions are the best option.Thanks to Luísa Black Ellis for this week's hidden lore poetry. Luísa is a Brazilian-American poet and self-taught ecologist methodically inspecting mosses in traditional Nansemond and Chesepian territory. She lives a quiet and devotional life in a monastery with her husband, renowned interdisciplinary artist JJJJJerome Ellis. Her loyalties lie with the lichens. Consider supporting her work with the Tidewater Solidarity Bail Fund by visiting 757bailfund.com. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Preorders for Jarod K. Anderson's new memoir about loving nature and struggling with depression are now open. Visit JarodKAnderson.com for more information. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com.

Paper Cuts LIVE! Episode 81 Conversation with the author of TAKE THIS TO SPACE, THE UNMOTHERS and more Leslie J. Anderson! In this episode we discuss Leslie's debut novel THE UNMOTHERS, pregnancy and motherhood, exploring her rage through her writing, superstitions and folk lore, her experience riding and working with horses, the importance of women's voices and stories in horror, and much more! CONNECT WITH LESLIE HERE: Website: https://www.lesliejanderson.com/ X: https://x.com/inkhat Instagram:   / lesliejandersonwriter   Visit us at https://www.papercutslive.com/ CONNECT WITH BRAD HERE: X:   / brad_proctor   Instagram:   / thebradproctor   Goodreads:   / brad   Discord:   / discord   CONNECT WITH J HERE: YouTube:    / @theworldaccordingtoj   X:   / thesirj10   Instagram:   / the.world.according.to.j   #liveshow #podcast #PaperCutsLive

Take your NIGHT PHOTOGRAPHS, they'll last longer! ALSO IN THIS EPISODE: Picture twooo, that's the House of Payne! The Smoochy Loop Evan DID say "don't." That's my bad. BONUS SEGMENT: PIECE OF CAKE! One Week (Blink-182 version) by ALEX MELTON: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueiH3Xnu_uU Get yourself some IABD shirts! Wear a logo on your chest!: https://www.teepublic.com/user/itsallbeendonepodcast Catch us on the 'net!: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1593559714014720 Twitter: @beendonepod Discord: http://www.projectderailed.com/discord Thanks to Project Derailed for hosting us!

Many seemingly common corvids are cryptids. There's a world of difference between perceiving a thing and knowing the full story.Thanks to Jamie Lackey for today's hidden lore. Jamie Lackey lives in Pittsburgh with her husband and their cats. She has had over 200 short stories published in places like Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Apex Magazine, and Escape Pod. In addition to writing, she spends her time reading, playing tabletop RPGs, and hiking. Check out Jamie's new short story collection Shadows on Glass and Other Stories - "From sentient stuffed animals to haunted terpsitones to friendly toasts, this whimsical and unsettling collection of weird little stories contains something for everyone." And check out her new novel! Toil and Trouble: A Pride and Prejudice Retelling, which is a Pride and Prejudice retelling with witches. Find out more at www.jamielackey.com. Thanks to Richard Parrington for voicing today's field report. Richard is an amateur British voice actor who fled the U.K for Ohio after it was exposed that he doesn't like tea. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Preorders for Jarod K. Anderson's new memoir about loving nature and struggling with depression are now open. Visit JarodKAnderson.com for more information. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com. Stay Curious. Stay Wild. Stay Weird.

Contentment is both a skill and a gift we grant ourselves. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Preorders for Jarod K. Anderson's new memoir about loving nature and struggling with depression are now open. Visit JarodKAnderson.com for more information. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com.

Ebbing and flowing, teaming with life, soft to the touch. Some things are better left to themselves.Thanks to Emily Kramer for today's hidden lore poem “An Absence of Ants.” Emily is a poet from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania with an MA in English from Ohio University. She currently works at a nonprofit for domestic violence and crime survivors. Outside of work, she loves hiking, playing cozy video games, and spending time with her two cats. Her work has appeared in Ghost City Review, Split Rock Review, and more.The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Preorders for Jarod K. Anderson's new memoir about loving nature and struggling with depression are now open. Visit JarodKAnderson.com for more information. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

Night is Earth's shadow and many creatures call it home. The moon's shadow is a different sort of night entirely. Thanks to Nicolette Nuytten for today's hidden lore, “Water Beetles.” Nicolette works at the library and spends her free time walking in the woods or reading everything she can get her grubby little hands on. She lives in Manitoba with her wife and a little grey chinchilla. You can find her at www.nicolettenuytten.com or on Twitter @LibraryNiiThe CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Preorders for Jarod K. Anderson's new memoir about loving nature and struggling with depression are now open. Visit JarodKAnderson.com for more information. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

What counts as a ghost is, perhaps, open to interpretation. Thanks to Steve Shell for voicing today's field report. Steve is a co-creator, writer, and voice of the narrator on the Old Gods of Appalachia podcast. Old Gods is entering the homestretch of their fourth season and will be heading out on tour again this summer. Thanks to Emilie Lygren for today's hidden lore poem, “Chrysalis.” Emilie Lygren is a poet and educator who has published poems in several literary journals and anthologies and developed dozens of publications focused on outdoor science education. Her first collection of poems, What We Were Born For, was selected by the Young People's Poet Laureate as the Poetry Foundation's monthly book pick for February 2022. Emilie lives in San Rafael, California, where she wonders about oaks and teaches poetry in local classrooms. Find her online at: emilielygren.comThanks to Leslie Anderson for reading today's hidden lore. You know Leslie as the voice of Cassandra and the voice of the credits. You may not know that Leslie has a new horror novel coming this August from Quirk Books. The book is titled The Unmothers and it's a folk horror-mystery about a journalist going to a small town to investigate a rumor about a horse giving birth to a healthy, human baby. “The Unmothers is exquisite and haunting in equal measure. . . . Nauseatingly tense and crushingly insightful. This book represents an absolutely vital entry into the horror canon.”—Sarah Gailey, nationally best-selling author of The Echo Wife and Just Like HomeFor preorder information, visit LeslieJAnderson.com Preorders for Jarod K. Anderson's new memoir about loving nature and struggling with depression are now open. Visit JarodKAnderson.com for more information. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

An early morning record focusing on starting the day The CryptoNaturalist way. Thanks to Joseph Giglio for today's hidden lore, “The Sky.” Joseph is currently an MFA student at George Mason University and originally from Buffalo, NY. He has been previously published in Corvus Review and Dead Fern Press amongst others. He is often somewhere he shouldn't be looking for birds or ghosts, but never bird ghosts. You can find him @JoeWritesWeird on Twitter.Thanks to Ella Watts for voicing today's hidden lore segment. Ella is a queer, disabled director, writer and producer of audio fiction in all of its many forms. She's currently Head of Production at Six to Start, the company behind audio drama and fitness app ZRX. She's also releasing an audio drama series she wrote and directed called Camlann. It's a post-apocalyptic urban fantasy inspired by folklore and Arthurian legends. Ella is an advocate for audio fiction in all of its forms, and longtime fan of The Cryptonaturalist.To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com. Stay Curious. Stay Wild. Stay Weird.

There's something playing music just down the path, but that isn't the only worthy mystery beneath the trees. Today's hidden lore was “The Bone Mother's Daughter” by Tim Goldstone. Tim Goldstone is based on a true event. He has roamed widely and currently writes in remote rural Wales Published internationally in numerous print and online journals and anthologies, including The Speculative Book, Altered States, Veil: Journal of Darker Musings, Selcouth Station, I Become The Beast, DarkWinter, Medusa's Kitchen, Pyre, Toil & Trouble, Coven Poetry, Dark Fire Fiction, Red Wolf Periodical, and forthcoming in Flash - The International Short-Short Story magazine, among other venues. His prose sequence was read on stage at The Hay Festival, and his poetry presented on Digging for Wales. Scriptwriting credits for TV, radio, theatre. Loiters in twitter @muddygoldThanks to Amanda Milstein for voicing this episode's hidden lore. Amanda Milstein is a personal friend of the podcast, amateur voice actor and full-time nerd. You can also hear her as Vendetta Violent on the Violent Life Podcast. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

Hey Cinners, we're just about to roll into March which will be our FOLK HORROR month. EMILY HUGHES, the creator and curator of the readjumpscares.com website has been kind enough to provide an incredible list of folk horror fiction for y'all which is in the show notes below. Emily is an absolute superstar and we'll be chatting with her about THE WICKERMAN and MIDSOMMAR next week. Until then, head out into the woods, meet some people that have very intense feelings about nature and how it influences and effects their lives and then tell them to their faces that they're wrong and see how that turns out for you. SHOW NOTES CURTESY OF THE AMAZING EMILY HUGHEShttps://readjumpscares.com/The Unmothers by Leslie J. Anderson: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/756652/the-unmothers-by-leslie-j-anderson/The Ritual by Adam Nevill: https://www.amazon.com/Ritual-Adam-Nevill/dp/0312641842Lute by Jennifer Thorne: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250826084/luteRevelator by Daryl Gregory (one of my faves of the last few years): https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/611690/revelator-by-daryl-gregory/Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand (one of my all-time faves): https://www.amazon.com/Wylding-Hall-Elizabeth-Hand-ebook/dp/B00UA1KO82The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher (inspired by Arthur Machen's The White People): https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Twisted-Ones/T-Kingfisher/9781534429567The Loney by Andrew Michael Hurley (he's writing some of the best contemporary folk horror out there and is largely unknown in the US): https://www.amazon.com/Loney-Andrew-Hurley/dp/0544947193 Jackal by Erin E. Adams: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/707472/jackal-by-erin-e-adams/Slewfoot by Brom: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250622006/slewfoot Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon (vintage American folk horror!): https://www.amazon.com/Harvest-Home-Thomas-Tryon/dp/0394485289 Lanny by Max Porter: https://www.graywolfpress.org/books/lanny Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Feather Fountain is as beautiful as it is deadly and it's plenty of both. Thanks to Cecil Baldwin for voicing the Stairway Keeper. Cecil has long been one of my favorite voices in podcasting and you can hear him on the show that first inspired me to create audio-fiction, Welcome to Night Vale. Thanks to Kathryn Nuernberger for today's hidden lore poem. Kathryn is the author of THE WITCH OF EYE, essays about witches and witch trials, and RUE, poems about plants historically used for birth control. ADVANCED POETRY, a textbook on reading and writing poetry co-authored with Maya Jewell Zeller was just released in January. She is currently writing a collection of essays about symbiotic mutualism, mutual aid, and ways of being together in an age of climate crises. Find her online at: kathrynnuernberger.comTo find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

The mirror falls, like all water, links us to many other versions of ourself. Thanks to Cat Stone for lending her voice to this episode. Hidden lore poetry by Matt Dennison. Matt is the author of Kind Surgery, from Urtica Press (Fr.) and Waiting for Better, from Main Street Rag Press. His poetry has appeared in Verse Daily, Rattle, Bayou Magazine, Redivider and Cider Press Review, among others. His fiction has appeared in ShortStory Substack, THEMA, GUD, The Blue Crow (Aus), Prole (UK), The Wondrous Real, and is forthcoming in Story Unlikely.To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

The Uneasiness waits and watches somewhere beyond dark windows. Thanks to Tim Murphy for his hidden lore poem “Wildness Unafraid.” Tim Murphy (he/him) is a disabled, bisexual poet who lives in Portland, Oregon. His writing explores disability and our complex, tenuous relationship to the more-than-human world. Tim's poetry appears in Wordgathering, Remington Review, Writers Resist, The Long COVID Reader, and more. “Wildness Unafraid” originally appeared in Writers Resist. You can find him on Instagram and Twitter (@brokenwingpoet). To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

Rumor has it the mecha-shrew is extinct, but not all rumors are trustworthy. Thanks to Emily Benson for this episode's hidden lore poem, “On the Question of the Happiness of Clams.” Emily Benson lives in Western New York with her husband and two sons. Previous publications include Deep Wild Journal, Gastropoda, Literary Mama, Moist Poetry Journal, Paddler Press, and The Dillydoun Review. Her work can be found at www.emilybensonpoet.com. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield's Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam's music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com. Reminder: Transcripts of this and every episode are available at cryptonaturalist.com.

The Shadow Fly drinks from your shadow, which, in turn, drinks from you. Thanks to Hannah Ringler for this episodes hidden lore poem. Hannah Ringler is a poet, parent, and gardener from North Carolina. She is the coordinator for the North Carolina Poetry Society's Poetry in Plain Sight program, which is a community outreach program across North Carolina to bring North Carolina poets and readers together. To find bonus content and a variety of strange rewards, support our show by visiting Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist. You can also help the show by rating, reviewing, and telling a friend. For books and poetry collections by Jarod K. Anderson and Leslie J. Anderson, visit CryptoNaturalist.com/books. You'll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. This show is produced and edited by Tracy Barnett. You can find them online, anywhere at TheOtherTracy or TheOtherTracy.com.

In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Ciro Faienza presents Leslie J. Anderson's “Supergirl's Last Will and Testament.” You can read the full text of the poem and more about Leslie here.

In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Ciro Faienza presents Leslie J. Anderson's “In the Valley of Midas” as read by the poet. You can read the full text of the poem and more about Leslie here.

Welcome back to Letters to Yesterday, a podcast of messages to the past. Thank you to everyone who listened to the first few episodes, and a special thank you to everyone who left a review on iTunes or shared our episodes. That helps more people find us! You guys are great. Also your hair looks nice today. Today’s letter comes from Justin from Portland, who wanted to only be identified as Justin from Portland, and wanted to remind us that the protests there are still going on there. Also, this letter has language that may not be appropriate for children.     Dear Fucking Dirtbag It’s me. I’m you, but a little less of a dirtbag. You’re like 17 maybe, and a few months from getting kicked out of the house. That’s fine. It was a shitty house. It was a shitty childhood. You’re going to kind of make up with mom later, but I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about cooking Because guess what, you have to feed yourself now. That fucking sucks, from a lot of different ways. It costs money, which sucks, and it takes work, which sucks, and it’s hard, which sucks. You still have to eat though. Here’s how to make it suck less. Step one, you don’t hate vegetables, turns out. You hate the way your family cooked them. You don’t need to fucking boil everything. Making something hot isn’t cooking. Well, it is cooking. It’s bad cooking. You’re going to do bad cooking for a long time too, so maybe ignore me on that. Wait I’m going too fast. Let’s try again. You gotta buy some shit. You have zero money so let’s get like three things. You need a knife. You’re going to the dollar store, so just get one that’s not serrated. Get a saucepan. It’s the deep one, idiot. Not the flat one. You need a flat one too, but let’s just get the deep one right now. A cutting board. Okay we can work with this. Next you’re going to buy pasta. Shut up. Pasta. I know you don’t like pasta, but you know what’s cheap? Fucking pasta. Now buy a jar of sauce. Quick tip – I got the kind with a little old white lady on the front and that was the trick. Get the one that looks like they have zero money to make a good label. That’s the good one. The box has instructions on it. Make the pasta. You need less than you think. Drain it. That’s hard because you don’t have a strainer but just do your best. Oh also, the apartment where you’re crashing has one working stove top, which you’ll figure out pretty quick. One day you’ll have like three working stove tops and you’re going to lose your shit like you won the lottery. Next, pour the sauce on the past and heat it up. Congrats you made food. You can put cheese on that if you want. Yeah, it’s just that fucking easy. You can feed yourself like this for awhile too, so you have time to learn other stuff. I’m not going to do every recipe but you have internet on your phone and the internet knows how to cook things, even if you’re poor. Which we are. Yeah we’re still poor. Shit sucks. Here’s some other shit it’ll save you time if you learn. Use garlic and onions. I know you think you don’t like them, but you have to learn to like them. They make food better food. They just fucking do. Don’t worry about the right way to cut or store or whatever. A lot of cooking shows make a big deal about it and it’ll make you feel bad, but just do it whatever way and do it better later. Okay you know that pot you got? You can cook vegetables in that. Use salt and pepper and, yeah, that garlic. Don’t boil it. It only takes a few minutes and it’s better. You can do them in the oven too, but that needs a whole nother pot, so skip it. Try new shit too. This one’s hard, because you don’t have a lot of money to spend on going out and you just want what you like, but you are going to have chances to try new things so do that. Do that every time. And ask questions. People like talking about stuff they make. It doesn’t make you look stupid. It took me a long time to learn that one, so you’re welcome for giving it to you right now. Also it turns out literally every vegetable has a different way to tell it’s ripe. That seems like a stupid way to design things, but whatever. Here’s a trick. Find someone else by the vegetables and ask them. Yeah it sucks, but you’re never going to see that person again in your life and now you don’t have shitty tomatoes. You’re welcome. Also wash your shit. Do your dishes. Don’t skip food for days because the dishes are dirty. It takes like twenty minutes for fuck’s sake. Don’t let them sit there and stink. Okay, I’m still bad about this too. I did say I was only slightly less of a dirtbag. I’m working on it. I guess we’re working on it. Also just, hang in there. The next few years are going to be rough. One of the nice things about living now (also rough) is we got through the shitty ones. You just keep going forward. You just keep learning new things. You got this. I love you.   Love, Dirtbag   P.S. Thank you to Les Hayden for the use of their song Ophelia. Thank you to everyone who has submitted wonderful letters. Justin’s letter really made me think about what I want this podcast to look like. It’s wonderful to read everyone’s huge, life-changing advice, but I’d love to see more about small things – cooking, rock climbing, learning a new thing, finding a favorite book, adopting an animal, getting lost – all these little things that are important to us none the less.   If you’d like to write a letter, we’d love to read it. You can submit letters to Letters To Yes, that’s Y E S at gmail. The letter should be between 1000 and 2000 words and can be on any topic. What did you need to hear a year ago? Ten years ago? You can also join on us facebook and twitter at letterstoyes. Letters to Yesterday is Produced by Leslie J. Anderson.   Stay safe out there.

Welcome back to Letters to Yesterday, a podcast of messages to the past. Here we read letters from our listeners to their past selves, sharing advice and guidance. Hopefully we’ll inspire each other. Thank you again to everyone who left us a review and everyone who’s listened so far. Today’s letter comes from Catherine Lundoff. Catherine is an award-winning writer, editor and publisher from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Her books include Silver Moon, Out of This World: Queer Speculative Fiction Stories and Unfinished Business: Tales of the Dark Fantastic. She is the editor of Scourge of the Seas of Time (and Space), as well as several other anthologies, and a wide array of fiction in multiple genres. In addition, she is also the publisher at Queen of Swords Press, a small press specializing in fiction from out of this world. www.catherinelundoff.net     Dear Me That Was: I am looking at a picture of you on your senior field trip, the one where you went with your class to take yearbook pictures outside Lincoln Center. You’re trying to look tough and bored, but really you look tired and tense. You’re leaning on the guy that you’re seeing in secret because high school is complicated and yours is a bit more complicated than a lot of others, for its time. It’s a group picture and most of your classmates aren’t looking at the camera. Some are watching each other or something beyond the photographer that I can’t remember now or just plain staring off into space. Most look the way you do, tired, bored and unhappy. I remember why you felt that way. You’re a scholarship student at a high school where you are genteelly poor but most of your classmates have families much better off than yours, you’re under lots of pressure to keep your grades up, you’ve got an alcoholic parent waiting for you at home, you’ve got a secret not-quite boyfriend with his own baggage and you’ve got an all weekend/every weekend job as a cashier at a local supermarket. And, of course, you’re the yearbook editor and you’re trying to maintain your status as 3rd or 4th (depending on the day) in line for being valedictorian because that’s what you were told colleges would look for. It is a lot. And I’d tell that it won’t always be like this, but that would be a lie and as a rule, I don’t lie to anyone, and certainly not to you. What it will be is training and conditioning for the years to come. You will find things that you love and that you love doing and you will learn to juggle what needs to be done with what you really want to do. You will learn to compartmentalize, to tune out and focus. A lot of this will be amazingly useful. Some of it, on the other hand, will be bad for you and you’ll spend years figuring out the difference. But you’ll do it. And that’s when the adventures will begin, all of them, including things you never imagined would happen. Not the you in this picture, anyway. Wait, that’s not true. The adventures start long before then, it’s just that you won’t always recognize them as such. You’re going to go off to college in a different state and create a whole new you, one that goes from hippy to New Wave in two semesters. You’ll find your people, start playing D&D and discover science fiction and fantasy. You’re going to do everything from joining the Society for Creative Anachronism to doing performance art in St. Louis. Why? Because it’s the 1980s and it’s part of you trying out things that your friends like to do to see if you like them too. Did I mention that you’ll have friends? Lots of friends, although it will take a while to be able to pick out the ones worth keeping. And lovers. You feel like no one is ever going to really love you now, but it’s not true. It isn’t even true for you right now, me in this picture, but sometimes, it’s hard to recognize that. Oh, and by the way, some of that unresolved emotional turmoil? You’re bisexual or queer or whatever you want to call it, but definitely not straight. Figuring that out is going to be messy and huge, but you’ll be a lot happier once you realize it’s a good thing. And all the baggage that you carried through high school, all the coping skills and dependencies you developed to keep yourself going, all the while ignoring a lot of what you wanted and what you needed, will fall apart and you’ll need to rebuild them, modify them, change them so they work for you. That last year, that photo, that field trip? That’s part of you figuring some of it out. That’s you with your friends and the clothes you bought with your own job, your own money. That’s also you standing around with a bunch of other bored teens posing for a picture in front of one of the great cultural landmarks of New York City. You’re kind of a mess now, but you’ve got the building blocks for a future you’re going to want. So the number one thing I want to tell you is: hang in there. It’s a total cliché, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Roll your eyes all you like. You’ll be doing that a lot anyway. Eventually, you’re going to find more people who get your sense of humor so you might as well start now.  You’re not crazy, not really. And the second thing is that you need to read. Read a bunch. The day will come when you’re going to sit down at a computer (yes, you. They get easier to use than the one that codes in binary that they’re trying to get you to learn right now.) and you’re going to write stories. You’re going to draw on all the things you’ve imagined and some of the things you’ve done and you’re going to make stories that people like to read. Some of them will even find those stories pretty life changing, but that will come later. Learn to get lost in your imagination now, the way you always have when home and school got to be too much to handle, when you needed a shield or an escape. Do that until it gets easier. Finally, believe people when you don’t have a good reason to doubt them. Believe them when they tell you that you’re worth loving, that you write good stories, that you do some good in the world and that you should stick around. It’s hard to realize now, but those people care and they want your way forward to get easier. Try to let people in when you can. Follow the path through the woods, the one that goes through the wardrobe or under hill. Ride the eagle, fight the battles, learn the true names of things, ride with Eowyn.  Above all, try to be honorable and brave when you can. Open the door and step forward…   P.S. Thank you to Les Hayden for the use of their song Ophelia. Thank you to everyone who has submitted wonderful letters. If you’d like to write a letter, we’d love to read it. You can submit letters to Letters To Yes, that’s Y E S at gmail. The letter should be between 1000 and 2000 words and can be on any topic. What did you need to hear a year ago? Ten years ago? You can also join on us facebook and twitter at letterstoyes. Letters to Yesterday is Produced by Leslie J. Anderson. Stay safe out there.  

Heather writes to a time before she began to grapple with her childhood trauma, laying out a path to facing it. Welcome back to Letters to Yesterday, a podcast of messages to the past. Here we read letters to our past selves, and give ourselves advice that someone else might need today. Today’s episode comes with some pretty serious content warnings for childhood trauma and assault. I’d like to thank Heather, our writer, for her honesty and bravery in sharing her story. It can’t have been easy and I feel very honored to read it. Heather is a Mental Health Therapist who works with children in foster care.  She lives in Florida, with her Fiancé and their fur children, while maintaining a long distance relationship with her lady-love.   Dear you, You’re probably laying on the bed, in the room, your boyfriend said you could call yours.  The room next to his kids’ room and across the hall from where he and his wife sleep.  What even is your life?  Don’t worry, nothing gets boring, we still ask that of ourselves today.  Speaking of, today is just less than 2 years in, what you would consider, the future.  I am writing you this letter as a warning, for a lack of a better word.  In the coming weeks you are going to have frequent panic attacks…which of course, you will play off as nothing because, as you will learn in therapy, you believe mental illness is real and valid for everyone except yourself.  When you hear your boyfriend’s kids’ screams of joy, their gut-wrenching sobs, and even when they’re quiet, alone in a room with their own father… all of these things send you into a deep, painful, spiraling panic, and you won’t yet know why.  Don’t worry, your boyfriend isn’t the monster, but you will start having nightmares about someone who is.  Nightmares, you’ve always had, but will start to mean so much more. I know that you’ve wondered, what the fuck is wrong with you…I believe at this point you’ve even thought, nothing that terrible has ever even happened to you, so stop being so scared.  I am so sorry, Heather.  This just isn’t the truth.  In about a month’s time, you are going to remember… things.  Not precise minute by minute memories, but flashes.  Flashes of things so terrible they literally make you vomit.  These flashes will make you scream and sometimes you even catch yourself holding your fists closed so tightly, that your anxiety bitten fingernails are drawing blood in the palms of your hands. You are going to feel, completely, out of control.  You are going to tell yourself you are making it up.  You are going to look at yourself in disgust as you wonder why your brain would even put these images together.  You are going to call your sisters.  They are going to confirm everything.  Which isn’t better.  In fact it makes you hate yourself, for being unable to protect them.  Try to remain calm when one of your baby sisters gets angry with you for not having to remember this thing for the last 25, or so, years.  Keep your boundaries but be supportive when both of your sisters insist that “he’s changed.”  And try, I mean really try, your hardest to control your rage when you realize they have had this knowledge all along, yet still allowed your nieces to be in his presence, alone. Remember to have empathy, they have felt broken and alone, for much, longer than you, which, when you realize that will make so much sense. The more pieces of this puzzle come together, the more broken you will feel…to a point.  Eventually your brokenness will merely be an ingredient in the potion, your brewing, called strength.  That power, known as resilience, that you have always been able to tap into will make itself known, again.  You will get through this.  You will thrive.  But before you do, there are a few tips that I would like to relay.  1) Be vulnerable.  I know, I know, we ab-so-lutely fucking hate this.  But, please believe me, you will learn that being vulnerable is true strength, and not the weakness you have convinced yourself it is.  The quicker you embrace the ability to be vulnerable, the quicker you will start to heal.  Hiding all of this inside your head helps no one and dramatically hurts you.  2) Build your support system.  I know this sucks too.  You’re a strong independent woman who doesn’t need anyone.  As much as this hurts to hear, you will learn that this is not true.  You are strong and you are independent but these are not necessarily the be all end all to your magic.  Set boundaries.  There is, believe it or not, a middle ground between the militant independence you practice now and the paralyzing pit of codependence you’ve fallen into, in your past.  3) Trust your damn self.  This one is hard.  Your whole life has consisted of abuse and people showing you, that you have no value.  People making decisions for you or making you second guess yourself.  People teaching you that muting yourself is safer than speaking out loud.  You’ve always wanted to take responsibility for yourself and this is the time.  You are no longer being abused.  Do not let the people that you have worked so hard to remove from your life continue to have such a hold on you.  Your life is yours, babe. Sometimes it just helps to hear that.  I imagine that you are reading this, becoming more and more pissed at me for not just coming out and saying the thing.  This terrible thing that you will remember so very soon.  We always yell at the people in movies who do this; communicate from the future and leave out, what seems to be, the most important part. I am hoping, that this letter conveys the message, that the overhanging cloud, the thing you will remember, is actually not the most important thing.  I’m hoping you will use this letter to figure out what is the most important thing, and move along from there. The last bit of wisdom that I’ll leave to you is that healing from trauma is a whole damn process for a reason.  You are healing your mind, your soul, your neural pathways.  This is A LOT.  Take it in small steps and on bad days make those steps even smaller, and on worse days just promise me you’ll be kind to yourself.  These things that you will learn, over the next 2 years, will be life altering.  Every bit of you will be smashed to the ground in a million pieces, but those three things; being vulnerable, having support, and trusting your damn self, will help you conjure yourself into me.  As much as I love you, I love me more and I’m really rooting for you, because one day you’ll be me…and man, you’ll just get it. Catch you on the flip side. Love, Me P.S.   Thank you to Les Hayden for the use of their song Ophelia. Thank you to everyone who has submitted letters. I’ve been incredibly touched by what you’ve shared with me. You’re all awesome. Thank you also to everyone who has shared our podcast and left us reviews! I really appreciate it. If you’d like to write a letter, we’d love to read it. You can submit letters to Letters To Yes, that’s Y E S at gmail. The letter should be between 1000 and 2000 words and can be on any topic. What did you need to hear a year ago? Ten years ago? You can also join on us facebook and twitter at letterstoyes. Letters to Yesterday is Produced by Leslie J. Anderson. Stay safe out there.

Steven talks to his high school self, giving himself permission to set boundaries and knock others down. Welcome back to Letters to Yesterday, a podcast of messages to the past. Thank you to everyone who listened to the first few episodes, and a special thank you to everyone who left a review on iTunes or sent me a lovely note. It’s hard to start a new project and I very much appreciate the encouragement. Today’s letter comes from Steven, a 32 year old gay man, system administrator, and card game nerd, living in Jackson Florida.   Dear Steven, You're sitting on your seat in the high school auditorium, wearing that silly outfit, feeling the weight of your class ring. You know one thing, and only one thing, after four years: "Everything I know is coming to an end, soon. I don't know what to do." And it's that moment, that panic, that is going to make it so easy to seize on the first direction someone even vaguely suggests.  The most important piece of advice I can give you is this: Don't forget that you are a person, too. You have goals, and ideas, and dreams. You know what you want, even if you don't know how to get it yet. You're good at internet things. Trust me, if you give yourself enough time, you'll figure it out, I promise. So... take suggestions under advisement, don't take them as gospel. The only regrets you'll have in the future are the ones that come from choices where you let someone else dictate what you'll do with your life. You're allowed to say "no." You're allowed to say "no" to your mom. To your friends. To the people you think of as family, even though in a decade you might not think that any more. The power of the word no is something you should treasure. Use it as often as you like. You don't have to whisper it to yourself when you're alone in your room at three AM and no one can hear you say it. You don't have to hold it in while you smile and nod and agree with people who's only interest is their own. It's not a forbidden spell that will unlock the gates of hell and wreak havoc on the mortal world. But it is a charm. It's a personal one, that will let you learn how to set boundaries. You can weave those two magical letters together and stop someone from hurting you... at least for a while. You can freeze time with that word! Or at least, it can give you time you need to make a decision. And when you know in your heart of hearts that what you're about to do is going to be wrong for you, it can save you. It's versatile like that.  You're even allowed to say "no" to yourself. When you're stuck, and you've got that panic in your chest. When you are getting in your own way, because you think that you have to help everyone else long before you consider helping yourself. That's when you say "No" to yourself.  Now, here's the kicker: You can say "Yes" too. Even when the idea of saying yes is terrifying. Most of the things you want to say "yes" to aren't going to hurt you. Not really. Or at least they won't always. Sometimes saying yes opens you up to things like heartbreak. It's tangy and bitter and trust me, no one is a fan. But if you don't say yes sometimes, you'll lose chances to get what you want. Life will just pass you by, and you'll find yourself wondering where it went. Speaking of terrifying... You have to stop being scared of the doctor. Of what it means when he tells you that you need to start taking medicine, because what's happening to you isn't normal. I know you think 'drugs will change who I am as a person!' And you'll be right, sort of. You'll be able to finish your thoughts on those days when they just won't slow down, and every idea is the best idea, and you can't stop doing everything that comes to you, regardless of whether or not it's actually a good idea, or if you've even finished the other things. You'll be able to go a whole week without those thoughts and feelings that make you want to stop, just stop because nothing will ever be okay. You might go a month!  You're scared that if you say "yes" to this, that it means you're crazy. That something's wrong with you. You're scared that if you say yes to this diagnosis, and this plan, that you'll lose what makes you special. You'll lose your spark, and your creativity, and you will no longer be you. Those fears are normal. All of them. But you know as well as I do, you can't do nothing now that you know this. You either have to accept it, or deny it, and what I can tell you from experience is that denying it doesn't make it go away.  You aren't broken because you're bipolar. And you won't stop being you because you're getting it treated. Treatment isn't perfect, and it isn't easy, but it helps. I promise it helps. Okay. Take a deep breath. One more. Okay, now actually do it, because I know you're just holding your breath to be stubborn.  Before I forget: Take better care of yourself physically, too. It's important. It will suck, and you'll hate it, but part of remembering that you're a person is remembering that you have a body you have to live in. It's the only one you get. Trust me, physical health also helps your mental health. It isn't the cure, but it doesn't hurt, either. Back to the subject at hand: The auditorium. Not knowing what to do next. I can't tell you what you should do, but I can tell you what you shouldn't do. You shouldn't just agree with your mom that college right now is what you need. You've been in school for over a decade now. Take a break. Take a breather. Give yourself more than a week to decide on a college, and more than two weeks before you start. (Spoiler alert, that college? Not a great idea even if you do decide to go to school immediately.)  Practice that "no" I talked about earlier. It feels bad, at first, especially because this is Mom we're talking about. You haven't said no to her for a long time. But I'll let you in on a secret: She's not perfect. She wants what's best for you, but like you, she doesn't really know what that is, either. So take that opportunity for yourself, and consider what you really want to get out of life. It's okay to wait a while. You've got a job, a car, and time.  I'm going to say this again because it bears repeating: You are your own person, and you're allowed to say no to protect yourself. Just don't use no as a crutch to hide from the world.  The power of no will change your whole life for the better.  Now go forth and practice your "no" in the mirror.    P.S. Thank you to Les Hayden for the use of their song Ophelia. Thank you to everyone who has submitted wonderful letters. If you’d like to write a letter, we’d love to read it. You can submit letters to Letters To Yes, that’s Y E S at gmail. The letter should be between 1000 and 2000 words and can be on any topic. What did you need to hear a year ago? Ten years ago? You can also join on us facebook and twitter at letterstoyes. Letters to Yesterday is Produced by Leslie J. Anderson. Stay safe out there.

Happy National Poetry Month! We have a dozen poems here pulled from past and current issues to celebrate our poets this year. Each of these poems is striking in its own way, and I hope you enjoy the many voices and styles to come. First up is “All Saints Day” by Lisa Bellamy, read by Diana Marie Delgado, followed by “All the Weight” by Holly Day, read by Emily Hockaday, “The Celestial Body” read and written by Leslie J. Anderson, “The Destroyer is in Doubt about Net Neutrality” read and written by Martin Ott, “Unlooping” read and written by Marie Vibbert, “Attack of the 50 foot Woman” read and written by Ron Koertge, “The Language of Water,” by Jane Yolen, read by Monica Wendel, “Archaeologists Uncover Bones, Bifocals, a Tricycle” read and written by Steven Withrow, “Objects in Space” by Josh Pearce, read by R.J. Carey, “Small Certainties” by Sara Polsky, read by Emily Hockaday, “Palate of the Babel Fish” read and written by Todd Dillard, and finally “After a Year of Solitude” by Lora Gray, read by Jackie Sherbow.

Welcome to the first episode! Today our letter writer advises her past self about birth trauma and postpartum depression, but also love and hope.   Dear Leslie, It’s only been a year since I was you, but this year is big. Huge. Ginormous. You’re nervous, and that’s fair, so let me start with this. Everything is going to be fine. Your husband’s birthday wish came true. Healthy Leslie. Healthy baby. Let me walk you through this. You’re going to wake up at 12:13 am. Not unusual. You’ve been having trouble sleeping because, well, you’re pregnant, and that’s what happens when you’re pregnant. The baby is snuggled comfortably on top of your bladder and you, quite literally, have to pee at least once an hour. You’ll stand and you will be instantly soaked from the waist down. Here’s what you will think: Shoot. My water just broke. Did my water just break? I peed myself. No I didn’t pee myself! I’d know if I peed myself! Would I know if my water just broke? Yes. My water just broke. What do I do if my water breaks? What you will do is pee, because you still need to pee, then you will check that your suitcase is packed. It is. It has been for weeks. You know how you are. To your relief, you won’t have to wake up your husband. He will be awake, poking around the kitchen for a snack. He will turn to you and say, in mock anger, “What do you want?” His face will remain completely calm when you tell him. Moments like this, big, scary moments, are what he’s best at. This is why, before you knew you loved him and your breaks gave out on a hill, you called him first. Not because he knew anything about cars. God, no, but because you felt better when he was with you, and you needed to feel better. He will remind you to call the doctor. There’s a lot of things to consider when you’re pregnant. You didn’t realize how many things there were to worry about, and I know you can’t stop thinking about the long history, the thousands and thousands of years, of women dying in childbirth. You think of the women hiding themselves in dark, airless rooms, hoping that the restriction will somehow make their babies healthier. You think of blood and heat and fear and prayers. You will think of motherhood, the destroyer, the last act of so many women, and how it is, inescapably, coming for you. You will think about the conversation you had with Jay, sitting on his porch swing, watching his four year old summersault around the yard as he told you that he didn’t love his boy right away, how his cousin and best friend didn’t either, warned him that it might not happen. Jay told you that you just have to endure. You just have to keep going until the feelings come. There were so many things to fear. You had to proceed with the expectation that it would be okay. And it was. You lay, numbed and shaking slightly as they cut the baby out of you. And then he will cry and then… and then. Was this the happiest day of your life? Almost certainly not. It wasn’t your wedding either, that whirlwind of stress and drunk relatives. Your happiest day passed completely unnoticed and unremembered. You probably had nothing to do and did nothing. You almost certainly laid in bed late with your husband. You let a piece of chocolate melt on your tongue. He brought you coffee. Maybe you walked in the woods. You probably spent the evening reading by a fire. No, the day your son is born is not the best day of your life. But the moment you heard him cry, the instant that vibration touched your brain, was absolutely and certainly the most intense sensation you have ever felt, will ever feel. You burst into tears before you could even register what you were feeling, before you had even thought “that is him,” because the fact of him hadn’t yet become fully realized in your brain. The sound of his voice hit your soul before it hit your mind and you LOVED him. It was as if, walking down the aisle, every moment of history and struggle and joy with your husband hit you for the first time in an instant. And then you touch him and he, the strongest creature in the universe, tries to raise his head. So many fears will disappear in that instant. But there will be new ones. He’s so small. Is he eating enough? Is he growing? Is he growing too fast? You will ride in the back seat, next to his car seat with your hand pressed against his side in the dark so you can feel – so you are sure – he is still breathing. You will sneak into his room and lean over his crib because he’s so small and he hasn’t been alive very long and what if he forgets how? But those fears will be different than the big one, the one that comes in a wave of terror as you’re sitting at your desk and he’s far away from you. The overwhelming terror was like looking down and finding a red dot on your chest, knowing a sniper was holding a gun on top of the building across the parking lot. It was like getting a call that your best friend had died. Except no one else knew your friend and so thought your horror and grief was odd, displaced, something they could not empathize with. Here is my advice to you. Go to your doctor on that day. Do not wait to see if it gets better. Do not tell yourself you are too busy. Do not waste a night curled around the child you love so deeply it hurts, crying quietly into his stuffed animal. It’s a strange thing, maybe the strangest thing, to be so sad and so happy at the same time. Your baby is wonderful and you begin to be the bane of the watercooler, forcing your phone into everyone’s hands and giving them updates on inane things like how much eye contact he’s making and the miraculous discovery of his feet. And then, when your coworkers have wandered away and you have nothing to do but go back to your office you’ll feel the tears prick at the edges of your eyes and scroll through photos of your baby for 15 minutes before you can make yourself answer emails. And you will feel like the world is ending. You will feel like it has already ended. You will feel that it is going to end soon and you are a monster for bringing a child into this world, this terrible, eternally ending world. Someone will tell you, when you mention this, that the world has always been ending, which won’t help. Someone else will say “Wait until he’s a teenager,” which REALLY won’t help. Here’s what will help, therapy and medication. Talk to your friends. Talk to your husband. There are so many things people won’t tell you about pregnancy. First of all, try to wear all your winter boots now, because I have very bad news about your shoe size. Yeah. You might as well pack them up. I know. I know. Stop crying. Also, night sweats. Yeah that’s a thing! You’ll wake in the middle of the night soaked and shivering when the baby cries. You’ll rotate the blanket to find a dry patch that might warm you. You crumple another pair of soaked pajamas and throw them as hard as you can into the laundry bin. I don’t even have advice for you. They just suck. But one thing no one mentioned was how connected you’d feel. Your friends have always felt like family, but now you feel their presence in your life like a solid object in the room. You will begin thinking of yourself not just as something who gives love, but receives it, and damn, girl. You are so loved. It’s only been a year, Leslie, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m fairly certain the best day of your life is yet to come, for both of us. P.S. Thank you to Les Hayden for the use of their song Ophelia. If you’d like to write a letter, we’d love to read it. You can submit letters to Letters To Yes, that’s Y E S at gmail. The letter should be between 1000 and 2000 words and can be on any topic. What did you need to hear a year ago? Ten years ago? You can also join on us facebook and twitter at letterstoyes. Letters to Yesterday is Produced by Leslie J. Anderson. Stay safe out there.  

When a landscape chooses a rhyme scheme, we must join in the poetry.This episode is written as a series of Shakespearean sonnets. Hidden lore by Leslie J. Anderson

The Cryptonaturalist is lost and then found in the usual place, a twisted scientist’s volcano lair.Hidden lore poetry by Leslie J. Anderson. Leslie’s writing has appeared in Asimov’s, Uncanny Magazine, Strange Horizons, Daily Science Fiction, and Apex, to name a few. Her collection of poetry, An Inheritance of Stone, was released from Alliteration Ink and was nominated for an Elgin award. Poems from it have won 2nd place in the Asimov’s Reader’s Awards, and were nominated for Pushcart and Rhysling award. Find Leslie at www.lesliejanderson.com or @inkhat on twitter.

Season three! Let's kick it off with the high-energy, high-velocity-diarrhea song STOMACH VS. HEART! Helping the boys is the Elgin-nominated, Asimov Award-winning poet and writer, LESLIE J. ANDERSON! Steel your stomach and be still your heart! Let's start Born On A Pirate Ship! Also in this episode: - The vampire read actually goddamn works! - The commercials have gone off the rails. It's time to put them down. - The one time Evan pooped his pants in a train station. - Bonus Segment: SELL, SELL, SELL! Leslie's website: lesliejanderson.com, Twitter: @inkhat Catch us on the 'net!: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1593559714014720 Twitter: @beendonepod

A visit to Oregon’s Sky Lake Wilderness brings us a glimpse of a rare bird that fishes from its perch in the vast abyss of outer space. Hidden Lore segment contribution by Leslie J. Anderson. Leslie J. Anderson’s writing has appeared in Asimov's, Strange Horizons, Apex, Pseudopod, and Daily Science Fiction to name a few. Her work has been nominated for a Pushcart and a Rhysling Award. Her collection of poetry, An Inheritance of Stone, was nominated for an Elgin Award. She lives in a white house beside a cemetery with her husband and three dogs. www.lesliejanderson.com