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ExplicitNovels
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 23

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2025


To be continued in part 23, By FinalStand for Literotica. Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 23 Zane Spars with the minds of the Faculty In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. "You are quite the James T. Kirk in this Undiscovered Country of Freedom Fellowship University," Doctor Scarlett eventually spoke up. I didn't know who that was but I had a feeling it wasn't a modern Christian author. "Who?" I asked. Doctor Scarlett blinked. "James T. Kirk, Captain of the Starship Enterprise, from Star Trek," she seemed confused that I didn't know who this guy was. "Wait, you mean that bald guy? I thought he was named something else," I wondered. "That's Jean Luc Picard, who was the captain in the second series called Star Trek: The Next Generation," she corrected me. It was somewhat amazing to me that the Vice Chancellor was a science fiction buff. Who knew? "Oh, wait, you mean that guy that Chris Pine plays?" I thought I figured it out. "Thank you; he is kind of hot." "No," she corrected, "that is the new series of movies, but it is the same character." I nodded as the pieces slowly came together. "Ah, the Green Orion Slave Girl," I finally clued in, "and that black babe who later showed up on Heroes." Sensing Doctor Scarlett's exasperation I added, "I remember ladies better than I do men." "Obviously," she noted. "I did not call you to my office to discuss trivia, Mr. Braxton, " "Please, call me Zane," I interrupted then, "and I apologize for interrupting. May I call you Victoria?" "Doctor Scarlett will do," she shook her head. "As I was saying, I asked you here to discuss your integration into this school so that we can avoid some of the problems experienced in the past." I looked at her; she looked back, expecting me to say something, but I didn't. "As the sole eligible male on campus, what do you see as your role here?" she pressed on. "Uhmm, Doctor Scarlett, I am a student here, that is my role. Are you implying that I'm looking for something special because I am a guy?" I questioned. "Mr. Braxton, Zane, you are a guy, you have remodeled your personal quarters into a bordello, and there is evidence of you having sexual relations with multiple female students," she responded. "How is that not 'something special'?" "The administration stuck me in the attic, then told me I could set up my room any way I saw fit," I clarified. "The vast majority of my room is set aside for my fellow freshmen to have a place to unwind and relax." "I've never violated any girl's Purity Pledge, though a few have reconsidered it after meeting me," I admitted. "I've been in a few fights, I'm not proud of that. I did as much as I could do to resist Chancellor Bazz, I am proud of that. What she was doing was ten shades of wrong and I don't run away from a righteous fight." "Zane, I am not condemning you for defending the women in your life, nor for having a healthy libido," Doctor Scarlett stunned me with a lack of blame being tossed my way. I worked that over in my mind until I figured out what was going on. "So, do you have any recommendations on what I could do differently to fit in?" I inquired. The problem was, this wasn't about me fitting in. She wasn't lauding my sexuality and she was trying to throw me off-center by the little annoying phone call game, followed by this sympathetic interpretation of my school life to date. I knew she wanted to manipulate me but I didn't know why. I had to get her to tip me her hand so I could figure out what the game was. "Are you familiar with the concept of Christian Female Tribalism?" Scarlett opened. "I get the feeling it has something to do with the six framed articles from non-Christian magazines hanging on your wall," I noted. "Also, you are clearly the darling of the Christian media," I added, as I tallied up the dozen other articles attesting to her fame. "I haven't dedicated my life's work for the sake of popularity," Doctor Scarlett smiled (sure, right). "I am looking into the relationship between Jesus Christ's teachings, men and women. My research has led me to believe that women exist in a more spiritually pure form when solely in the company of other women." "Where do men fit into this picture?" I questioned. "Men provide the ultimate guidance, of course, as well as their roles in procreation and raising male children past the age of eleven," Doctor Scarlett related. "Women are happiest and most effective when they form their own networks and hierarchies." "You don't date much, do you?" I had to ask. "Mr. Braxton, I have lived a chaste life in pursuit of my studies," she answered. "Outside of your father, Victoria, have you ever lived under a man's guidance?" I wondered. It was a calculated move to use her Christian name. "It is Ms. Scarlett, Zane, and I have relied on a variety of pastors for spiritual guidance over the years," she stated. "Okay," I stood up, "we have nothing to discuss then." She didn't yell at me as I headed for the door. "You've never been in love and I can tell you have a poor estimation of romance." "You would be incorrect, Zane; I have been in love but I chose purity over sinfulness," she countered. "My faith is based on God being love, without reservation, restriction, or guilt. I know exactly where you are coming from," I said with my hand on the doorknob as I looked over my shoulder. "You are seeking validation for the mistakes you've made over your lifespan and you are willing to sacrifice the young ladies at the school." I was getting angry. "I was hoping for something better but it seems like a different conductor but the same old music, Doc." "That is not so," Doctor Scarlett stayed calm. "I am not attempting to drive you or any other student off campus. I am not your enemy." "That is simple enough to resolve," I nodded. "What is your perfect women's society view and response to promiscuity?" "Lust is a sin; women should resist sin as vigorously as men," she countered. "The seven deadly sins are Catholic, not the words of Jesus," I grinned. "In fact, the first list wasn't even created until the 4th century after Christ." "That does not make them any less valid," Doctor Scarlett offered. "What is the cut-off date for Bible legitimacy?" I turned and faced her. "1000 Ace? Today, here, and now? Who is to say I can't create new scripture, then?" "I apologize, Zane," she mused, "but you hardly seem to be someone touched by the hand of God with a gift of prophecy." "Do I have to lay on hands to prove it?" I beamed. I had finally been able to interject sexual innuendo into the conversation. She didn't respond like a damn normal person, no. Doctor Scarlett stood up, walked around her desk and came to a stop barely a foot from me. I am not so easily deterred. I leaned into the doctor until my nose was at the crux of her neck and shoulder. I used my cheek to push her hair aside and sniff my way up to her ear. She was really ironclad in her control of her passions. I trailed my nose up to her eyebrow ridge, circled over the forehead, down past the other eye, and over to her lips. We didn't kiss but I did get what I wanted. "How about I call you Victoria when we are alone?" I tested her. "No; call me Ms./Dr./Vice-Chancellor Scarlett," she corrected. "You are my student." "Cool," I shrugged. "Is there anything more for us to discuss?" "I would like to discuss my plans for this school and the role I think you can take on," Scarlett persisted. "We've had that discussion, I chose a messy democracy over any sweet-smelling dictatorial existence," I declared. "Your belief system stands for the denial of self-determination." "It does not, Zane. If anything, it gives women more power over their lives," she explained. "But the basis for your system retains men in charge, with the added 'benefit' of women being more removed from the critical decision-making processes," I replied patiently. "Don't you enjoy being in charge of so many women here at FFU, Zane? You have certainly convinced dozens of women to do what you want, even to their own detriment," Doctor Scarlett drove her point home. I laughed; I couldn't help myself. "I might enjoy being in charge if any of the women would give me the opportunity, Victoria. Honestly, I allow the women here to safely experiment with their sexually," I explained. "Thing is, I really don't mind because I help these ladies become more comfortable in their skins, with their desires, and allow them to share things they have discovered about themselves. If I was with only one woman, what peer could she talk to? You've put your blinders on to the fact that women want to examine those urges they all have," I proposed. "They don't surrender to lust; they acknowledge it, explore those frontiers, and then decide how to use that knowledge," I continued. "Most of the women in my life here don't lose their virginity. I think by challenging their Purity Pledge, they become stronger in their convictions. I'm not taking any choice from them; they are exercising their own will concerning their bodies." "If you deny the male role in the Christian relationship, doesn't that emasculate you?" Victoria asked, and I noticed she didn't chastise me for using her first name this time. "I'm not going to fall into the trap of mistaking sexual activity for true masculine activity," I headed her off. "I would like to think I mediate disputes, help with our studies, and protect them physically if needed. I don't like to fight, but I will fight to defend my ladies. So no, I don't feel less of a man because I listen to, occasionally obey, and always try to respect women." "I see your point, Zane, and I will give it some consideration," Doctor Scarlett lied to me. "Oh, wow, that condescension was unwarranted, Doc," I shook my head. "You would never accept that I could be the man who would alter your lifelong path. You have an unrealistic expectation of what that man would be like but it allows you to pursue your goal without male guidance and still be a good Christian woman." "So now you think I am a hypocrite?" She gave a patient smile. "Nope. I think you believe the theory you are selling, Vic. You are clever, attractive, but somewhat annoyed that your looks give your ideas less credence though you still use your looks when needed. You are manipulative because you are sincere and you want to keep the argument based on rational discourse, not passion." "That would make you my opposite," she observed. "You embrace your gut instincts and allow your emotions to override what you think is the safe course of action. It is a pity you perceive me to be your enemy; I thought we could do great things together." "You are the enemy, but you are not the bad guy; I respect those who have faith, even if it is faith in something I don't agree with," I pointed out. "You believe women are better off without male interference in their lives. I believe there is nothing better in Creation than a man and woman in harmony with one another," I stated. "Don't you believe in safeguarding these young ladies' souls?" Victoria pressed on. "If the ladies were children I could understand your interference," I countered, "but they are adults, capable of making adult decisions, and you do them a disservice by stealing their destinies from them." "You see yourself as a better alternative?" she remained serenely calm, that's so hot. "Lady, my life is a mess," I grinned. "I have a hard time figuring out what I'm going to do much less what I should tell someone else to do." "But you are making the decision that my solution is the wrong one. How do you justify that?" she countered my grin with a smile of her own. "Just because I don't have the right answer doesn't mean I don't recognize the wrong one when I see it," I reposted. "As I said earlier, we have nothing to discuss." "Very well," she allowed, "but please tell me what the whole sniffing thing was about." "It was more than sniffing, Doctor Scarlett. I was looking for your pulse reaction, sweat, what kind of perfume and body soap you use, as well as facial tics and eye dilation." "That is certainly odd," she pointed out. "Well, it tells me you are a mid-thirties virgin who likes feminine things. Your skirt is finely woven wool, your shirt is silk, and your cross is 24 K, as is the necklace, with a real ruby inset. Your bra is a black half-cup, which is very nice if you are wearing a white shirt. Lastly, you are wearing stockings, not pantyhose." "Since neither you nor Ms. Reveal is a lesbian, you are wearing these clothes for your own enjoyment because you are not interested in any man right now," I told her. "You are still holding out for your Mystery Man which is oddly romantic for someone who denies romance." "Ms. Buchanan was right," Scarlett laughed softly. "You would be interesting to deal with." Right as I made ready to ask her what exactly Christina said, my stomach began rumbling. "I'm off to lunch unless you need me for anything right now," I sighed. Victoria turned me around and directed me out the door. Rio, Mercy and Vivian were waiting for me. It rapidly became clear that Rio was Doctor Scarlett's next appointment. "Ms. Reveal," I inquired of Doctor Scarlett's assistant who glared in response. "I'm heading off to the dining hall, and since I doubt you've been able to grab a bite to eat, do you want me to pick up something for you and the doctor?" I doubted that was what she expected. She typed away at her keyboard for a few second, checking out today's menu. "Mr. Braxton, could you get me the Caesar Salad and Doctor Scarlett the trout?" she said. "Zane," Rio snickered softly, "how far did you get? I'd hate to have to sex her up all over again when I can go straight for the main dish." "Smooth, Bro," I groaned while Marisol looked like she was going to staple Rio's ear to the desk. "The Doctor and I talked and that is all," I cautioned Rio. "I suggest you do the same and keep it simple." Rio snorted and followed Doctor Scarlett into her office. Before she dropped out of sight, Rio half-turned, pointed at Victoria's ass, and mouthed 'Wow' and made out the hourglass curves. She was really subtle; only Mercy, Vivian, Marisol and I saw it, which meant all of us. "Mercy, are you going to be okay?" I inquired once the door shut and Mercy had sat down on the bench outside the office. "I need to stay for Rio," Mercy sighed. "Vivian, can you wait for Rio while Mercy and I take a walk?" I asked my guardian. "Absolutely, Zane," Vivian nodded. She took a seat while Mercy followed me wordlessly out the door. "You don't have to do this, Zane," Mercy spoke up after a while. "Own up to all you do, Mercy," I replied, "and by that, I mean I brought you and Rio into a collision course so I am as responsible for your happiness as I am for Rio's." "I, umm, thank you," Mercy worked out the words. "Rio can be too much to handle at times." "Yes," I wrapped a very inappropriate arm around her shoulder, "she can be, but I feel she's worth putting up with the bull crap. Don't be discouraged by her fooling around with other women, or men; Rio is far more loyal than people give her credit for. She may do things to piss you off, that's a given, but she wants to be with you. In fact, who do you believe she was thinking of when she bought that ass plug?" "You?" she meekly mocked me. "Ha, ha, ha," I chuckled. "That is the reason I don't sleep on my stomach these days, Mercy. She plays rough. She loves rough too, so I feel it is an adequate trade-off. If you want to snuggle with someone else from time to time, you are welcome on my pillow any night." "Zane, do you think I'm a lesbian? What I am trying to say is, I think I may be a lesbian but I'm not sure," Mercy confided in me. "It doesn't matter what I think but in my experience, you are bi-sexual, not a dedicated lesbian. That could mean that you like relationships with girls but the occasional fling with a guy," I said. "You have had sex with me and I know you enjoyed it. You are not in an environment that allows many men so now that you are coming into your sexuality, you are confronted by women. Sexual orientation is one thing; sexual preference is another," I went on to say, "At Spring Break we should put your ideas to the test. Until then, don't worry too much about it." "Not being a virgin would be horrible enough," Mercy related. "If my parents thought I was homosexual, they would die, or kill me." "Mercy, do you think what you are doing is sinful?" I questioned. Mercy had to think about that for a while. We gathered up three trays and made our way back to the Vice Chancellor's office. "Yes, yes, I do, Zane," Mercy muttered. "I am afraid I'm going to Hell." "Mercy, you are not going to hell, at least not for what you've been doing the past few weeks," I comforted her. "Think about the good you've done for Rio." "I am still steeped in perversions," she moped. "Trust me on this; the battle between Heaven and Hell will not be decided by the playful use of a dildo, ass plug, or vibrator," I whispered into her ear. Mercy rewarded me with a wicked little smile. "What matters is the happiness you bring, the trust you earn, and the powerless you protect. Don't knock yourself out because you too are feeling pleasure." Mercy stopped walking which brought me up short. She worried her lower lip as she worked some things out in her head. "Do you think I'm really Rio's best hope at salvation?" she asked softly. "You more than anyone else," I responded. I could see a weight lifting off her shoulders. "Thank you, Zane," she smiled at me. We entered the Administration building and headed for the Vice-Chancellor's office. "I'm going to have to tell Rio about his conversation," I told her. Mercy looked uncertain. "Someone deserves a spanking, don't you think?" That wonderful little lusty smile crept onto her lips once more. More Monday Mornings   Doing the correct thing is good; doing right and confounding your enemies at the same time is golden. Blow & Arrow "You are getting better, Zane," Molly Travers told me after my rotation to the shooting line. "If you say so," I shrugged. "I've yet to hit the rings twice in a row." "But you are hitting the target every time," she pointed out. "Great," I chuckled, "if I ever get attacked by a rhino or a barn door, I'll do fine." "If it is a big barn door, a really big barn door," she snickered in sympathy. "So, uhmm, what do you think your chances against Hope are?" "Huh," I looked to her, "are you betting on me and Hope's sparring match?" "It's not really a bet, more like a wager," Molly grinned. "Betting and wagering is the same thing, Molly," I pointed out. "Okay, fine, we are betting on the outcome," Molly admitted. "So what do you think the odds of you winning are?" "Barring the intervention of large fighting robots, I'd bet on the cute Asian chick to win," I joked. "Arrows," Chastity called out. It was my job to retrieve all the expended arrows from the field, being the junior member of the team. After that we did one more round, then we cleaned up and made our way to either study period or our next club. Chastity held me back so that we could go to Karate class together. "Don't be too hard on Hope," Chastity abruptly told me. "I'm not all that sure I can beat her, Chastity," I confided. "Oh, there is no chance of that," Chastity assured me. "She's going to destroy you. I only want to make sure you are a good sport about it because she really likes you and she's worried you might take this beating the wrong way." I stopped and stared at her somewhat incredulously. "Oh, come on," I grumbled. "I have some sort of chance. She's not that good." "If thinking that makes you feel better," she patted me on the back. "Well, if you believe I can't win, you will be willing to make a wager on the outcome then," I challenged Chastity. "What would it be?" Chastity mused. "You in a little, itty-bitty French Maid's outfit for twelve hours of my choosing," I said. "What do I get if Hope wins?" Chastity countered. "What would you want?" I grinned. "Any one favor to be decided on later," was what she came back with. "Oh, please, my favor is relatively precise while you want the world," I pointed out. "Okay, I want one 'forgiveness' in advance," Chastity offered. I groaned. "You just have to keep busting my chops, don't you?" I sighed. "Fine, I'll make the bet." For a private sparring match, Hope and I drew a great deal of attention. Christina, Heaven, Chastity, and Faith were expected, as was Coach Gorman. I had kind of hoped Cappadocia would hang around so we could hook up when the fight was over. Everyone else was rather distracting. Both Hope and I went shirtless, me bare-chested and she with a black sports bra, as well as barefoot. We set up four meters apart with Hope doing something that mimicked warm-up exercises. It took a second of eye contact for the fight to begin. I kicked out viciously; she collapsed beneath the blow and swept my legs. My back slapped the mats and before I could move or mount much of a defense, Hope was all over me. It was arm bar and she had my head in a scissor lock and that was that. I tapped out before she could render me unconscious. No one said anything as I regained my feet. I was careful not to make eye contact until I'd backed up a bit. I had no clue to what kind of Monkey Kung-fu she had just worked on me but I knew that what little Thai Kickboxing I had wasn't cutting it, but I knew even less Karate and even less of what Gorman and Black had shown me. It boiled down to making use of what I did know to the best effect. This time I danced to the left using a little trick Gabrielle Black had taught me (with some pain added). At first Hope mirrored my movements so when I lashed out with my first kick it caught her off-guard since I'd also been slowly closing the distance between us. She tried to snake within my reach but I kept shifting and kicking to hold her at bay. When she finally did get inside, I hit her with every fist/arm/elbow strike I knew. I knocked her back, pursued her, and for a moment it looked like I had a chance. Hope kept maneuvering with the grace of a gymnast so I couldn't pin her to the mat. Once she got to her feet I sensed I was rapidly running out of options. I certainly didn't expect a chop to my temple and that was pretty much all she wrote. She jumped up, put her knee into my diaphragm and rode me to the ground. I managed to block twice against her strikes as she straddled my stomach. I almost knocked her aside, we wrestled, and that was the totally wrong thing to do. I knew crap about wrestling. My tapping out was a foregone conclusion once she got me on my stomach. For a second I lay there marveling how quickly I'd gone down, twice. I noticed that Hope was still standing astride my body so I rolled over in place and looked up. For a second she had this look that reminded me of staring into the pitiless depths of the ocean. "My head hurts," I emphasized with a deep breath. That set off a flash of light in her eyes. "The important one or the one on top of your neck?" she smiled from above. Hope crossed her arms and helped me stand. "Are we okay?" she suddenly seemed worried. "Oh, hell, no," I gasped. "I've got to learn me some of those moves. You were freaking awesome." That outburst gained me a snort of amusement on her part. "I am not a master so I would have to consult my master before taking on a student," Hope informed me. "Your Father?" I was curious. "No; my Father had to get permission to teach my sisters and me. My Master is back in Korea," she answered. Hope and I parted ways and various friends now felt free to join the party. "Damn, Bro, she kicked your ass. I'm ashamed to call you family," Rio mocked me. "Rio, now you know how he feels about you every day," Valarie shot back. "I think he did pretty good, all things considered," Coach Dana Gorman stated. "I don't believe Zane's ever fought against a 'soft' or passive style." "Fifteen or twenty more years and I would have had her," I chuckled. "You are right, Coach; I've never seen her precise style. I've tried some of the exercises monks use but those were primitive compared to what Hope showed me today. Now I think I'm going to take a shower." "Everyone will clear out now," Coach ordered as I made my way to the showers. ZETAS "Honestly, Zane," Sahara lectured me deliciously, "did you have to flush my phone down the toilet?" "Technically, I only dropped it in," I corrected. "I didn't hit the handle. Besides, you know your husband would only annoy us with his incessant phone calls." "I still feel a little guilty," Sahara sighed. "He knew when I would be over and where we would be going if he wasn't going to be kind enough to be there," I pointed out. "The only reason to call you would be to ruin the moment he could have pre-empted by showing a little consideration for your feelings." "That is not fair," Sahara countered. "My husband is a community leader with many responsibilities." "So would you be if people would wake up and see you as I do," I answered. "Zane, I don't want any misconceptions about me," Sahara stared at me intently. "I am loyal to my marital vows." "I don't doubt that for a second," I agreed. "Betrayal leaves its own scars and I don't see any on you." Sahara didn't immediately react to that, instead taking a long sip of her tea. "Certainly you have heard the rumors by now?" she said softly. "Yes, and I believe them," I responded gravely. I let that hang there for thirty seconds. "Aliens did land in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947, and they interred the bodies at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base before finally moving them to Area 51." Sahara didn't know what to make of that for a second but slowly began to smirk. "What? Was there another rumor that I should be giving a damn about?" I concluded. "Some people compromise for the easy way out, some people remain mostly steadfast and take the hard road, but you are the only man I know who gladly skips through a minefield because even the hard road is too much of a compromise for you," she commented. "I can only be me," I replied. "I couldn't be you; I doubt the clothes would fit." "Oh, you are such a strange individual," she tilted her head. Before she could explain our food arrived and she felt it prudent to wait until there were fewer prying ears. "Do you think it is appropriate for me to, ask about Ms. Vickers?" "No," I responded patiently. "If you ever feel like it is your business, she's in church every Sunday and she's nice, if a bit nervous considering the current circumstances." "It is only that I hear things about you when my husband talks to other people and, much of it doesn't make sense," she added. "For instance, I believe I'm the only one who sees it but I'm sure you are having an affair with Rochelle Wellington." "I'm neither confirming nor denying anything but how does that make you feel?" I countered. "Infidelity is a crime," she answered after a few seconds, "but Mayor Wellington is a horrible, horrible man." And this was coming from the woman married to that bastard, Pastor Bill. "I confess that I find the whole thing very amusing, to the point where I pray to Christ for forgiveness virtually every night. That includes using me as a distraction for Kendra's nosey little self." "That was not my intent if that's any consolation," I sighed. "I simply thought we had a lot in common." "Such as?" she smiled. "Well, before we moved here, we had no idea where Lancaster, Virginia was," I started. "We both know that waving a Bible around doesn't make someone holy; a custom may be fine for you but it isn't for everyone and we know what it is to be judged by people who have never gotten to know us," I completed. "I also wanted you to know that I know about Bill and we are not alone." "Know? What do 'we' know?" she asked confidently enough. "We know why he let them think you were the one who was unfaithful," I clarified somewhat. Sahara stared at me, her face torn by a plethora of warring emotions; loyalty, anger over being betrayed, and relief that she didn't bear this terrible burden alone anymore were all there. "Men handle such things differently than women," Sahara told me in a distant voice. "My father wanted boys." "I imagine your Father-in-Law wishes he had raised his boy to be a man too," I joked. "That's unfair," I corrected myself. "I have nothing against men of a different persuasion. It is bastards I have a problem with." "Please, Zane, he is still my husband," Sahara admonished me. "Well, he had better start treating you better or I may re-familiarize him with Deuteronomy 23:1 (ty-jw)," I responded. "Your loyalty to him should be met with respect. That is the deal we make when we get married." "What makes you think you know so much about marriage?" Sahara inquired after a bite, some savory chewing and a gulp. "I'm smarter than I look. Okay, that's not too difficult, but I'm usually smarter than people give me credit for." "Smart things like inviting Ms. Kennan to services yesterday?" she taunted me. "I actually didn't invite her but don't tell anyone; I revel in people's opinion that I'm irreverent," I grinned. Sahara tried and failed to fight down her own smile in response. "I've actually invited Belle, Ms. Kennan, to live with me and Jill as well as giving her a job." "I, I don't know what to make of that," Sahara worried. "She's very pretty, I imagine." "Sahara, you need to become a better judge of people," I said. "I wouldn't trust Belle with my car keys or my favorite cuff links, but I'd trust her with Jill's life or my own." "Sometimes it helps to remember we are still listening to the words of a poor carpenter's son who suffered through exile," I pointed out, "who wouldn't do what the authorities told him to do, died because he was betrayed by a close friend, and went to the grave abandoned by all those who said they understood him; not most people's first choice for founder of the world's largest religion." "When you put it that way, it sounds depressing," Sahara agreed. "It also sounds exactly as it played out. It often does not occur to most believers that the flame of Christianity almost fluttered out before it ever really came to life." She looked for me to say something but all I did was grin. A few seconds later I saw that flicker of understanding come alive in her eyes. "Here you are, the star of multiple on-line sexual misadventures, sitting with the preacher's disreputable wife in the most romantic restaurant in town and we are discussing morality and religion," she chuckled. "No one will believe us despite this being the truth. I find your perverse and bizarre sense of humor very enchanting, Zane." "The important thing is that you are having a good time, Sahara," I explained. She laughed out loud, drawing attention to our little candlelit alcove of the eatery. I doubted she cared and I certainly didn't. We finished our meal, I paid, and we headed straight back to her place. The game was, we left zero time for any possible hanky-panky to take place. We wanted the people who were going to accuse us of impropriety to make real asses of themselves when we revealed our timeline established by my filling up of gas right before picking her up, our valet ticket at the restaurant, and finally, our credit card receipt for the restaurant itself. I had outlined my plan to Sahara and she heartily approved. Unlike the time her husband had screwed her over, she could fight this scandal. I pulled into the Penny's driveway and I rushed around to get her door for her (thank you, Heaven, for that bit of etiquette). We walked through the front door only to see Pastor Bill a few steps away from the door. "Where have you been?" he growled. Sahara dutifully lowered her head. "We were at Zetas," I stated calmly, "right where I told you we would be." Bill ground his teeth and glared at Sahara. "What have you been doing?" he snapped. "Nothing," I now grinned. "I accidentally left the lube and the box of condoms on your kitchen counter." Pastor Bill was rendered speechless. "I was the one who dropped her phone into the toilet; don't blame Sahara," I told him. "Sahara, this was fun. I don't often get to have an adult conversation about the basis of Christianity. I do appreciate your insights. I gotta go now. You two have a good evening and I guess I'll see you on Wednesday night, Sahara. Bill, I'll see you on Sunday." "I doubt you will be seeing my wife again," Bill finally ground out. "Sahara, please give me and your husband a moment alone?" I asked her. "Of course, Zane, and thank you again for an intellectually stimulating night," was her own way at rebelling. I could tell ol' Bill didn't appreciate her pleasant tone to me one bit. When she had moved out of sight I leaned into my so-called religious leader. "Bill," I whispered to him, "between you, me and God, if something happens to Sahara, I'm giving you one year and a day, then they'll never find your body. You know the kind of low-lifes I hang out with. I'm not bluffing. The only other injustice will be that you won't suffer nearly enough. Am I absolutely fucking clear?" "I'm not afraid of you, you sleazy scumbag punk," he hissed. "Whatever, Bill, but you might want to know that the circuit board for your home security system is manufactured by a company I own," I lied. I had no idea if there was a circuit board for his system or who the hell manufactured it, but I was pretty sure he didn't know either. Bill and I were at an impasse. He was a bully and a liar who was used to manipulating people using both other people's faith and sins to get what he wanted. My advantage was that I was well known to be willing to inflict pain to get what I wanted (I just wanted to protect my ladies) and he was averse to actual physical confrontation. Belle brought a whole new definition to the conflict at First Anointed Free-willed Fellowship of Christ Church. There were a growing number of people willing to resist the order Bill had crafted for his own power. Now people defied him and the normal techniques of censor had little effect. His best hope was that Zane Braxton would get hung in another bizarre encounter and remove himself from the equation without Bill's interference. That was his hope, anyway. ON The CRUX OF CHANGE "Hey, Briana," I told my buddy from Colorado State. I was standing outside the door that led to my floor once more. "Hey, Future Slave to my Desires," she giggled back. She was a whole lot more playful than the last time we'd talked. "Gak!" I played with her. "I'm pleased to find you in higher spirits tonight. I hope that means you are doing better?" "Actually, I had a freaky weekend," she sighed. "I met my boyfriend's other girlfriend, it was a totally psycho-girlfriend moment too. She came at me when I was training with some sisters for a 5K run. She appeared in the parking lot and started screaming at me. It was scary. I had three sisters and she brought two wacked-out friends. A pair of off-duty firemen broke it up; sadly, one is married and the other is gay." "Briana, I have a confession: I'm a gay man in denial and I'm tired of hiding the real me," I stated sincerely. Briana's laughter rocketed through the connection, followed by some off-screen conversation, then the phone being handed around. "If you want that lie to be believable, tell us you are secretly a lesbian," Jarunee snickered at me in her native Thai tongue. "Give me a second and I'll come up with something more believable," I chuckled back in the same lingo. "How have you been?" "Pretty good; better than you since that little Korean girl wiped your ass all over the mats," she responded in English. "Okay, she's not so little, and I have it on good authority she was a champion on the Tijuana Midget Fighting Circuit while still in preschool," I covered my ass, then a fear began clawing its way inside me. "Is there any suggestion that she and I may have gone to bed together?" "Of course; this morning's upload," Jarunee informed me. "Oh, in that case, please tell the rest of the Kappa Sigmas that I won't be doing Spring Break after all," I groaned. "What, why?" Jarunee gulped, wondering what she'd done wrong. "Her dad is going to kill me," I related jokingly. "I won't make it to the end of this semester, much less to March. It was a nice dream, though." "Are you serious?" Jarunee worried. "Apparently Hope's, that's Hope Song who kicked my ass, father is some sort of a South Korean superman who eats two-bit punks like me for breakfast," I shrugged. "It can't be, and the phone was taken away. "Oh, my God! Was that one of Yeong Song's daughters you banged that can now be seen all over the internet?" a different girl babbled. "You really are a dead man." "Ooo-kayyy, who are you, by the way? I'm Zane," I started off. "Sorry. I'm Chrissy and my father is in the Navy and he does, stuff. I don't know how bad that man is but I've seen SEALs scramble to get out of that man's way faster than they would for any admiral." "What? That's absurd," I joked. "No one is that much of a bad-ass." Except for Gabrielle Black, I am so going to die at this man's hands, aren't I? "All I know is that the Navy decided it was safer to put him up at our house as opposed to a motel. Mom got upset because apparently the North Korean government put a huge bounty on his head since he killed so many of their Special Forces guys, no lie." I said nothing for the longest time. "Maybe he'll think I'm good son-in-law material," I tried to sound upbeat. "Yes," Chrissy tried to sound positive as well. I, of course, was desperately trying to remember how many times I had made Hope suck my cock, and our discussion of anal sex wasn't worth mentioning. Curling up into a fetal ball wouldn't do anyone any good either. "Very well, Chrissy. Can I talk to Briana one more time?" I asked. "Of course, Zane, and don't worry; the whole Kappa Sigma Sorority will start working on this problem. We will figure out something," she assured me. "Hey, guy," Briana sounded apprehensive, "are you going to be okay?" "Babe, it is just another day ending in 'y'. I've got this," I said confidently. "Good night, now." Briana said her good-byes and I took a moment to get my thoughts together before heading upstairs. It turned out I had over seventy ladies in my place, none more surprising than Coach Dana Gorman. She was paired with Valarie against Millicent and Raven in what looked like a close match up on the pool table. Another totally bizarre image was Vivian and Rio laying stomach first on the floor near one of the TV's, calves kicking in the air with Vivian helping Rio with something oddly akin to schoolwork. Mercy, Opal, Brandi, and Brigit were gathered around the closest table having formed some sort of study group as well. Magically enough, in the twilight of my life (no, I am not over-reacting!) it is good to see one of my plans actually work in almost the way I had intended. No one had noticed me arrive so I turned to go to the drink bar, and walked right into Paige. "Hi!" she squealed in excited delight. Her tight little albino body vibrated with orgasmic energy. "Hey, Babe," I kissed her on the lips lightly. She kept her hands tightly clasped behind her back. "You don't smell like sex," she grinned. "I went out to eat with the preacher's wife, Paige," I groaned. "Not every date is an inevitable sexual hook-up. We had a nice meal and talked about our church, morality, and religion, honest to God." "I believe you," Paige wouldn't stop grinning. "Cordelia is in your room, waiting for you, and thank you, thank you, thank you." Paige was undoubtedly ecstatic over the red marker on Cordelia's face that read 'Paige is smarter'. To see that was one of Paige's deepest desires. Cordelia was working away on her tablet as I slipped into my room. She was fully on my sleeping stage, lying on her back and tablet held up over her head as she worked on it. "Hello, Zane," Cordelia said. "I like your place; it is very you." "Cordelia," I managed to say back in a civil tongue. "Did you know who Yeong Song is?" "Of course I do," Cordelia answered without looking away from her work. I didn't say too much because I had little polite to say to the girl at the moment. After a minute she finished up working on her computer, put it down, propped herself up on her elbows, and smiled my way. Her pigtails swayed as she looked me over. "You are upset," she noted. "Why are you here?" I inquired curtly. "Oh, now we are in the 'you are angry with me but doing an admirable job controlling your violent impulses and going to reduce your interactions with me yet not going to let me alter your lifestyle in any way' phase," Cordelia sighed. "I am not fighting the fact that you are the smartest person on campus, maybe the smartest person I've ever met, but I think we are done playing around. When I drive out of these gates for the last time four years from now, I'm going to forget you and go on with my life," I told her. Cordelia smirked, then laughed. "Zane, I made you, you are my creation," she giggled. I was about to get pissed, then I got another boot to the head. "I was drawn to your family's tragic death years ago, saw your return to the United States as an excellent opportunity for us both, created several identities, talked to your aunt on-line about FFU, altered the admissions software so your application would be accepted, and made sure your medical records weren't examined until you were on campus." "You put me and Rio together," I pieced together; Cordelia nodded. "Iona?" "Ah, she's loyal to you, but it was easy enough to put her in your class. She is the type of girl who runs across traffic to save a turtle crossing the road," Cordelia smiled. "I knew she'd rally to your side, just like I knew that would be enough to keep you here until other events unfolded," she seemed terribly pleased. "Now the sorority and Christina are all you as well as the run-ins with the law, but you are my weapon to use on this campus, Zane. I could never beat Chancellor Bazz without creating a scandal that would break the school apart," she informed me. "Your rebellion was a possibility I explored but your ability to enlist Christina and the freshmen wasn't something I could facilitate; again, that was all your doing." "I have respected you and Heaven," Cordelia pointed out. "Because Christina and I would kill you," I countered. "No; I kept her secret because I am not needlessly cruel," she said. I almost believed it. "Wrong, Cordelia; you didn't betray Heaven because Christina and I would leave FFU," I stated. "Your game would fall apart; not because either one of us is special but because you don't like playing with dumb people, there is no challenge to it." Cordelia's smile only got wider. "You don't disappoint," she remarked, without a hint of shame or guilt. "Am I forgiven?" It occurred to me that no matter how absurd on the surface, Cordelia wanted someone to know and, in a way, understand her genius. "I think we may be past that," I murmured. "How about this; the Time Lord Mafia needs, I need your help," she confessed, but I was wary. "When Ms. Black came here I was suspicious that her record was too clean," Cordelia related, "so when you gave me that warning, I began digging very carefully. Well, this morning something happened." "Oh, crap," I muttered. "How bad and how likely is it that you will be tracked back to here?" "I set up a blind station in Lima, Peru," she said matter-of-factly, "all paid for in cash by people who don't know the real me. I had surveillance on the place as standard practice. Late last night, Lima time, three armed men broke into the small room and tore the place up." "Who were they?" I was now more intrigued. "They spoke perfect Spanish so I had no clue until one of them screwed up and a cheap shelf fell on him. He cursed in Hebrew." Cordelia exhibited real shock. "They were Mossad. I check up on some other stuff and I really think they are Israeli intelligence." What in the hell was Mossad doing hunting Gabrielle? What the hell was the only guy in an all-girls university doing getting involved with all this? Fuck it all, I'm a horny eighteen-year-old boy with more girlfriends than any two sane men would want. Wasn't talking to yourself one of the signs of mental instability? I was saved by the phone, sort of. "Zane, this is Doctor Scarlett," the Vice Chancellor said, "I am at your door and I need to come up and talk to you for a bit." "Of course, Doctor Scarlett," I responded as I caught Cordelia's eye. I hung up and the two of us headed into the main area. As soon as we exited the screens, Cordelia went toward the closest group of students to warn them and I travelled down the stairs. "Hey, Doctor," I greeted my latest guest. I screened the keypad from her view, asked the system for a new password, and read it off to her as it popped up. Doctor Scarlett reentered the code and had it scan her thumbprint without comment. "Thank you, Zane," Victoria greeted me politely. "I would like to see your domicile as well, if that is convenient." "Sure thing," I told her. "We have about forty-five minutes before curfew so it's pretty occupied." "It is your room," she nodded. "I have every reason to believe you are responsible with its use." I wouldn't say that, but then in the past five minutes my life had gone to hell anyway, and I had to put up a good face until bedtime. "Ah, the pictures I've seen do not do the view justice, Mr. Braxton," Doctor Scarlett exhaled. "Relax, take a walk around, and/or help yourself to some food, Doc," I offered. "After nine o'clock you may call me Victoria, Zane," she allowed in return. I was a little stunned. No one seemed overjoyed that Victoria was here but they weren't stampeding toward the door either. "You provide a great deal of stability," she told me softly. "Your presence provides your guests with a sense of peace and safety." "Perhaps you missed Coach Gorman giving two of your students pool lessons right over there?" I suggested. "Dana is your guest too, though I doubt her mood is swayed one way or another by your sense of calm," she grinned, then was brought up short. "Zane, there are two women in, bikinis in your, " "It is a hot tub," I provided the identification, "and I also provide the swim suits for those who need them." Victoria stared at me for a few seconds and I could sense her ready to finally explode on me with some righteous rage toward my overtly sexual ways. "Why would you have women's swimsuits?" she asked patiently. "I have one-pieces as well," I responded. "What would be the point of installing a hot tub, showers, and a sauna if I don't also supply the girls with swimsuits and towels?" Those words put her back on an even keel. Still -- "Doc, I have women coming in my second-story bedroom window back home in the middle of the night for the purposes of sexual intercourse," I sighed. "I hardly need to give students here revealing clothing to feed any vicarious thrill. Do you want a suit to take a dip?" "Let me think about that," she replied quickly. "How long does it take you to obtain a girl a suit?" "I have a suit for you already; you are virtually Vivian's size. And I even have one in red if that is your preference," I said. "Do you really want me to be in a red bikini?" she wondered. It was a trick question. "It is a one-piece, and all I want is for you to be as happy as you can be without trampling on the aspirations of others," I answered. "So you feel responsible for all the girls at this school," she stated. It took me a moment to realize this was a statement, not a question. "Good night, Zane," Victoria smiled. "Good night, ladies," she called out to the room. A chorus of 'good night's' were returned. She disappeared down the stairs and I felt a deep desire to be alone. Peace and quiet sounded good, yeah, I know. "Bro?" Rio snuck up on me. She gave me a quick once-over, then tenderly wove her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. "I'm okay, Rio," I muttered. "Don't lie to me," she squeezed me tighter. "Trust me; I know that desperate, hopeless look well and I can see it creeping up behind your eyes. Zane, I don't know what's wrong and I'm not going to ask, but I want you to know that I'm here for you." I tilted my upper body back and met her gaze. "Who are you and what have you done to my Rio?" I grinned weakly. "Hey," she remained scarily compassionate, "you've soaked up my pain often enough. It is about time you let me carry some of yours." "What can I do?" Iona wiggled up to my side. A further miracle was delivered when Paige appeared within my field of vision at over five feet away. "Guys, do you think I can have the night to myself? I need to work out things in my head," I begged. "Consider it done," Rio and Iona stated together. Iona departed to spread the word. Rio departed as well, but doubled back to give me another hug. "Zane, don't leave me," she whispered into my chest. "Three seconds ago I was going to knock you out, roll you up in a blanket, and take you with me when I scaled the walls and ran home," I sighed. "To the bitter end," I gave Rio's and my own little motto. "To the bitter end," she mumbled back. After that, going to bed was surprisingly easy. "Zane," Gabrielle greeted me with a ghostly voice. I had called her and said we needed to talk. "Someone did some poking around on you," I told her, "and as a result, three Mossad agents broke into a false station they had in Peru. Is there anything we need to know about why Israeli Intelligence sent three armed men looking for you?" "Three," she mused. "The back-up squad was outside. Since you made no mention of a grenade, I assume they wanted me alive. What are the odds of them tracing the search back to Freedom Fellowship?" As she talked, she sat down on the bed next to me, next to my hip. "Since I have no clue as to what resources they can bring to bear, I would feel safe enough remaining here if they were after me," I answered. "What's your next move?" For a reason that went way beyond insane, I suddenly didn't want her to leave. "I wait. I do not have infinite exit plans or resources," she told me. "You are taking this awful well," I noted. "As opposed to wasting energy becoming pointlessly annoyed? You will keep me apprised of further developments," she commanded then rose to leave. "Gabrielle, do you know a guy named Yeong Song?" I blurted out. "I know of him but I've never met him," she stop

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com
WIOW: The Groan Before the Glory | Bishop T.D. Jakes

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2025 110:13


Before glory comes groaning — but how do we remain steady while awaiting God's answer? In this Walk It Out Wednesday teaching, Bishop T.D. Jakes takes us deeper into Romans 8 to show how God establishes believers in a position that can't be shaken. Life may test your condition — pain, disappointment, pressure — but your position in Christ remains your anchor. You are seated with Him in heavenly places, covered and secure. Through every sigh and struggle, the Spirit groans with you, praying for what words can't express. Even when you don't understand the process, God is using it to shape your character, silence pride, and bring your faith into alignment with His purpose. MEDITATION MOMENT: When the suffering ends and the glory is revealed, you'll see that everything you endured was building spiritual strength. What you're going through now can't compare to what's about to be revealed in you! Message: “Walk It Out Wednesday: The Groan Before the Glory” Speaker: Bishop T.D. Jakes Date: Oct. 22, 2025 ✨ Welcome to Your Moment of Transformation You don't have to walk this journey alone. Let Jesus guide your steps and fill your life with purpose and peace.

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com - Audio
WIOW: The Groan Before the Glory | Bishop T.D. Jakes

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com - Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2025 110:13


Before glory comes groaning — but how do we remain steady while awaiting God's answer? In this Walk It Out Wednesday teaching, Bishop T.D. Jakes takes us deeper into Romans 8 to show how God establishes believers in a position that can't be shaken. Life may test your condition — pain, disappointment, pressure — but your position in Christ remains your anchor. You are seated with Him in heavenly places, covered and secure. Through every sigh and struggle, the Spirit groans with you, praying for what words can't express. Even when you don't understand the process, God is using it to shape your character, silence pride, and bring your faith into alignment with His purpose. MEDITATION MOMENT: When the suffering ends and the glory is revealed, you'll see that everything you endured was building spiritual strength. What you're going through now can't compare to what's about to be revealed in you! Message: “Walk It Out Wednesday: The Groan Before the Glory” Speaker: Bishop T.D. Jakes Date: Oct. 22, 2025 ✨ Welcome to Your Moment of Transformation You don't have to walk this journey alone. Let Jesus guide your steps and fill your life with purpose and peace.

Dermot & Dave
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Groan!

Dermot & Dave

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2025 3:23


The accent jokes gets us every time.Dave is back with another round of Dave's Bad Jokes!

ExplicitNovels
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 10

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2025


Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 10 Interrogated Until Dawn In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             Wakefulness is a race we cannot not win; Sleep is remorseless as all salvation should be           "Are you his real girlfriends?" Gerry, a shorter, stout girl with short black hair inquired. "It doesn't work that way," Chastity confessed. "Zane is our property and we rent him out for social functions." "No you don't," I laughed. "Chastity and Hope are good friends and we came out for dinner and a movie." "If you aren't dating anyone in particular there is going to be a party next Saturday. It is by special invitation only, it is a block party but we could call you when we find out," Erin offered. "Hey, babes," this guy greeted us, or more appropriately, the ladies around me. He was rather average looking; perhaps he would have looked better if his face wasn't constantly burned by the Sun and he avoided smoking joints and drinking so much. I figured he was about twenty or so. He was unlikely to have anything resembling a regular girlfriend or even regular sex because he paid little heed to his looks or his wardrobe. His chief companion was a weasely guy; not the shifty sort, but the blood-thirsty feral kind. He was short and wiry with an anger that came from unrealized ambition and recognition; probably a vicious fighter but used to striking from the blind side. The final guy was tall and skinny, suffering from shyness exacerbated by the presence of women. Erin and Gerry looked at the new guy, snorted derisively and turned back to me. "Here's our number," Erin said as she took out a pen and wrote her digits on my palm. "Call on Thursday and we'll tell you where we can meet." I nodded because I was grappling with the rudeness these girls were showing this guy and his buddies. "What, going to be a party?" the guy leered. "By invitation," Erin responded, "College students only." I was starting to feel for this guy. "What, is Zane boy and his Kappa Sig whores good enough for you sluts, but real working men are not?" he taunted us. "Don't do that," I warned him, putting a hand to his chest as he stepped forward and tried to put his hands on Erin's and Hope's asses. I'm not sure what Erin would do but Hope was likely to dislocate his jaw. "Take your hand off me, jack ass," he growled. His weasely buddy looked ready to pounce. "We should call it a night," I told the ladies. "Erin, Gerry, I'll call later. Ladies, let's get out of here." Erin and Gerry tossed a worried look dumbass's way, then smiled to me and left. My companions and I left by a different way. Since we were heading out the easiest way to the parking lot, the three guys followed us. "Hey, you sissy bastard, why are you afraid to share?" he mocked me, but really, was sissy bastard the best he could do? I sensed him coming up behind us as we exited the mall so I spun around, as did the girls. "So how much do these Kappa Sigs cost?" he chuckled. "It can't be that much if you are buying these whores two at a time. I'll give you twenty for them both." "Walk away, Zane," Chastity urged me quietly. "Let it go." "You are right," I bit down my anger, "not only does he not have the money, he couldn't satisfy a woman even if he could convince one to accept payment." "Mother fucker," he snarled, and shoved me back. I had had enough. "Go back to your playmates," I warned him calmly, "I'm not someone you want to be badmouthing ladies around." "Whatchya gonna do, Fucker?" he shot back. "How about when I finish kicking your ass, I'm gonna bang both the bitches you brought tonight? Then I'm going to ride those whores you were on the video with." "Oh, you shouldn't have said that," breathed Hope. I was not the one she was admonishing, either. "Apologize to these two ladies right now and pledge to never go near the Kappa Sigs and I'll let you leave here under your own power," I responded. "I was afraid this shit-hole would never fight," the weasel guy sneered. I looked to the third guy. "Do you know the number for the hospital?" I asked him. He nodded. "Good." The main talker started to shift his body into an aggressive stance but had the nerves of a bully, not a fighter. My first strike rocked him back on his feet and gave me the time I needed for his buddy. The buddy got a quick but unskilled jab off. I blocked it and popped him hard, nearly knocking him over. I spun back to the Talker, set him up with a strike, and then kicked him so hard that I sent him flying out of the fight. The Weasel lashed out again; I caught his arm and drove my knee into his stomach. I kept that up for eight more knee-strikes until he ceased struggling and slumped to the ground. "Make that call," I told the third guy, then grabbed my girls and ran for the car. "Why are we running?" Hope asked as we got into my car. "They already know who I am but you two are unknown. Face it," I reasoned with them, "if you two get dragged down to the police station, that could be big trouble." "And since you are already known, you are screwed," Chastity muttered. "Yes, basically. Once I get you two safely back to your dorm, I'll turn myself in and deal with the consequences," I informed them. "We'll talk to Gorman when we get back," Hope said. "That kind of voids the reason for fleeing the scene," I pointed out. "What is it about you, dates, and the police?" Chastity chided me. "Hey, now, only half my dates have ended with police involvement," I complained. "Zane, do you realize how horrible those odds are?" Hope noted. "Does this mean no second date?" I joked. "I think we want a do-over on this one," Hope grinned. "I think we were all hoping for a different kind of excitement when we got back to your place." "Groan, it would sort of suck for you two to be in my room when the cops come for me," I sighed. That was the end of our conversation, because it would suck and we had no choice. Once I had Hope and Chastity back to their dorm, I made my way back to my place and changed. Since we were normally required to be in uniform, we had gone to Aunt Jill's to change into 'normal' attire, but I had decided we didn't have the time for it on the way back. I gave Coach Gorman a call and explained the events, minus my two friends. She told me to stay put. It was past midnight when I received a call from the Coach. "Zane, please come to my office," she told me. "I'll be right there," I responded, as I slipped off my bed. The campus was still and dark as I made my way to the Security Center. There were only two offices with lights on, that of the night officer and Gorman's office. Inside, I found Gorman behind her desk and a Sheriff's Deputy sitting in a chair opposite her and angled to look at me and the door. "I told you he would come," Gorman reprimanded the officer. "He ran once; I had reason to believe he would rabbit again," the man answered. "Cowardice is not a trait I attribute to Mr. Braxton," Gorman commented dryly. "That may be the case," he replied. "Mr. Braxton, I want to ask you some questions about what happened at the mall this evening around 9:30." "I went to see a movie. When I came out, I was accosted by three men, and when I attempted to leave, they followed me to the parking lot where I proceeded to beat the crap out of them," I confessed. "So you admit putting two men in the hospital?" the Sheriff's Deputy inquired. "Yes, sir. I struck the taller one in the face, pivoted and did a downward block to the smaller guy, following through with an uppercut to his jaw. I did another strike to the first guy, then did a jump kick, sorry Coach, to his sternum, putting him out of the fight. The smaller guy righted himself, struck, and I caught him in an arm bar. I then brought my knee to his stomach, sorry Coach, and struck him repeatedly with it, sorry Coach," I outlined the fight. "Thank you. But why are you apologizing to Coach Gorman?" the Deputy asked. "He's apologizing for not using Karate moves," Dana informed him. "I'm his Karate Coach as well as Head of Security." "And a hell of a soccer coach, or so I'm told," I grinned sadly. "That is nice. Now, there was a report of two women being with you," the officer said. "Who were they? I need to interview them." "I'm not going to deny there were other women there but I won't name names. There could be academic consequences for fighting and I want to spare them that," I explained. "Son, I could tack on a charge of obstruction of justice to go with your two counts of assault and one of fleeing the scene of a crime," he related. "Okay. Do what you have to do," I declared. "I will not turn on my friends." "In that case, I am placing you under arrest," the Deputy stated, as he stood up and Mirandized me. He brought out the cuffs and led me away. Back at the Sheriff's Office, I sat down with SD Burrows, my arresting officer, and we worked on his report. It turned out I could type and he could peck, so I convinced him to dictate the report for him because I desperately needed some sleep. A female Sheriff's Deputy gave our case, and me, a double-take. "What have you got here?" the woman asked. "Two counts of Assault, fleeing the scene, and obstruction of justice," Burrows said. "Zane Braxton?" she inquired. "Yeah. We have him in a report for that fight at the Kappa Sigma House last Saturday, though no charges were filed," he informed her. "I went to the University, that's Freedom Fellowship, and he turned himself in." "Why did you run?" She turned to me. I groaned and lowered my head. "Apparently, he was protecting the identity of the two women he was with; most likely fellow FFU students," Barrows filled her in. She nodded and went on her way. "Okay," he said when we finished, "let's get you processed and put you into the general holding cell. Do you want to call your lawyer?" "I'd rather get some sleep," I confided in him. "You will be arraigned tomorrow morning at 9:00 so have someone by then," he advised me. After that was the tedious process of fingerprints and the pictures before they finally moved me to the 'overnight' holding cell. Inside were two benches and nine guys. Five crowded onto one bench, two biker-type guys lounged on the second bench, and two were left to stand against the bars. I was really tired. "I'm really tired," I explained to the more tattooed and bald biker-guy, "get off my God-damn bench." There was a hush in the cell. "What did you say, Pussy?" the guy said as he stood up. He had an inch on me and fifty pounds or so. His buddy was standing as well. "I've put two guys in the hospital tonight already. I'm more than willing to put your heads through the bars, Asshole. Now get off my God-damn bench," I growled. "Braxton, I don't want any trouble from you," a passing Deputy commented. "What's he in for?" the lead biker asked the Deputy. "He put two guys in the hospital for talking to his ladies, as best as we can figure," the officer stated. "What are these two in for?" I inquired, while keeping my eyes on the bikers. "Misdemeanor drug possession," the Deputy answered. I smiled evilly at the bikers. "Get off my God-damn bench. I need a nap," I seethed and they back-side-stepped out of my way. As I said, I was really cranky. For whatever reason, no one attacked me in my sleep, and I was definitely dead to the world within five minutes of my head hitting the hard surface of my contested bench. I dreamed of ice cream and pizza, and scantily clad babes bringing me ice cream and pizza, confirming that while exhausted, I was not dead. "Mr. Braxton," a strange yet not totally unfamiliar voice said as she shook me awake. I looked up into the deep, earthy brown eyes of the female Deputy that I'd seen earlier. "They need you in Interrogation Room One." I sat up and rubbed my eyes, realized I didn't have a watch, so I inquired as to the time, a little past 2:00. "Okay, but I've already confessed," I mumbled as I stood up. "I'm not sure what more I can say." She turned and walked out of the cell, where a second female officer was holding the door. Alarm bells were going off. While I've never been to a US jail before, I'd seen enough police procedural shows to know the cops never let the convict get behind them. Girls do it all the time, when they want to show off their ass, and I stupidly was caught doing just that, as her smirk over her shoulder revealed. She shut the door when I left and walked down the hall with one in front of me and one behind. Sure enough, they took me into an interrogation room, and the unknown one took a seat opposite me while the slightly more familiar one stood behind my chair. "Mr. Braxton, we understand you have refused your right to counsel; is that correct?" the one with Urquhart on her name tag said. "Technically, no. I have refused to call for a lawyer but I plan to engage one in the morning," I admitted. "We would like to ask you some questions, if that is okay?" Deputy Urquhart said. "Sure," I leaned back. The other officer put her hands on my shoulders. Without really thinking about it, I reached across my chest to the opposite shoulder and ran my fingertips along the fingertips of the woman's hand. My interrogator noted the gesture. "You were in an altercation at the Kappa Sigma House last weekend. What can you tell us about that?" she asked. "I imagine saying things like 'it wasn't official' and 'it was within city limits' is pointless, so I guess I was shoved into the girls' bathroom by five guys and got my ass kicked," I explained. "Five guys decided to beat you up? Was there a reason?" she persisted. The other officer began rubbing her fingers along with mine. "Short story, none of your business; longer version, these frat boys were messing with some of the ladies I came to the party with and I got the ladies away. Later, they came for payback and a fight ensued. I got my ladies out, then went back to the Kappa Sigs to see if everything was okay." "But neither the FFU girls nor the Sorority pressed charges so we don't know who they are, and now you are in another fight, women are involved, but you won't tell us who they are either," she outlined. "Basically, yes," I replied. "You are looking at some very serious trouble if these girls don't step forward or you don't tell us who they are," she explained. I took the time to move my free hand behind me and onto the thigh of the officer there. In seconds, I had spider-climbed my hand to her crotch. She tensed up, pushed away from me, then rocked forward until her breasts bracketed my head. "Well, since that's not going to happen, how about we get something to eat?" I sighed. I figured that sleep wasn't likely so I might as well toss around some sexual innuendo to lighten the mood. "You are looking at serious jail time and your first thought is to order out?" the interrogator questioned. "I was hoping to eat in, actually," I grinned. "Oh, and what makes you think that is going to happen?" she questioned me with a sexual undertone. "Two female officers, you are not taking notes, and I've been frigging your partner behind my back for nearly a minute now without her putting my head through the table," I explained. She stared at me for a second, not sure if I was exhibiting bravado or I was really playing into their game. Apparently her partner expressed to her visually that I was indeed playing with her. "Well, what do you have in mind?" she gave a lopsided grin. "I'm Haley and she's Tara." "First off," I stood up, moved the chair away, and turned to Tara, "I'd like to do this." I ran my hands down her sides, around to cup the ass she'd shown me in the cell while I kissed her. Tara pulled my lips down to her ear and neck while I raised her leg up until her knee was at my hip level. When I began working on her belt buckle, her hands came around and helped me until it swung loose and she lowered it to the ground. A rapid mutual stripping off of the clothes followed. "You two want to slow down?" Haley joked as she came up behind me. "Fuck, this thing is huge," Tara gasped past me to her partner. Since her hand had surrounded my cock, I had to imagine she had a flair for the dramatic. "He's twice as big as my husband." Oh, Hell! Husband? I guess if I was a better guy, I'd end things right now, but I'm an okay guy, not a saint. "If he complains, remind him that he's sleeping with that tramp of a sister you have," Haley teased. "God, yes," Tara moaned happily, "Let's get a condom on this bad boy and see if he performs as advertised. If he's anything like his video, I can't wait to show this to Bill and let's see how he likes it." "Whoa," I interjected. "Who is your husband, Bill, and is he going to want to kill me?" Tara slid down my body, licking my shaft and balls as she went, retrieved a condom from her pants, and came back up along the same path. "Don't you worry, Zane; he's a bouncer at the Fallout Shelter," Tara assured me. Clearly I had no idea what that was so Tara enlightened me. "It's a popular college club. You can't get in there legally anyway." "Your sister?" I questioned. As for the club, was an ID the only thing in the way? Simple. "She's a bartender there, the slut. She's still pissed that I put her husband away," Haley explained. "What'd he go in for?" This was getting more and more twisted. Haley began rubbing her nearly naked body against mine from behind. "Arms trafficking. He was sentenced to twelve years down in Fairview," Haley murmured, "Now, let's put that tongue to better use." Arms trafficking, at least I'm learning about firearms at school. I turned Tara around and pushed her up against the table next to Haley. "How are we going to do this?" Haley asked. "You both get up on the table and I'll give it a shot," I told them. "I am so far past exhausted that I feel invincible." I crouched down, placing Haley's left and Tara's right between my legs, and began to massage their cunts in tandem. I moved up to Haley first, kissing her cunt lips, then making three passes with my tongue, parting her lips and tasting her fluids as they began to flow. I then transferred my attention to Tara, this time sucking on her already excited clit. "Make out," I suggested to the objects of my affections. "We are not like that," Tara told me. Well, that sucked, or more like, I was going to be the only one sucking, which made my job a lot harder. Now I had to increase the activities of my fingers to keep them boiling, and finally I sent Tara over the edge with clitoral stimulation with my lips and teeth. "Oh, God!" she cried out shrilly. Her legs wrapped around my shoulders and squeezed me tightly to her, temporarily pulling my hand away from Haley's honey trap. The second I could pry myself free of Tara's legs, I stood over Haley and began sliding my cock into her hot, steamy cunt. "Ah," she moaned, "give it to me just like that, oh, yeah." I pushed in slowly. By her tightness, I figured it had been some time since she'd had sex. "Oh, fuck, she went on. "Bigger than Chris?" Tara chuckled, somewhat breathless. Chris? Who the fuck was Chris? If I had to deal with another husband, I was going to seek out a non-extradition country. "Chris?" I ground out, as I picked up my pounding of Haley. "My, ugh, ex, ugh, damn, you are , ugh, good," Haley grunted. "Caught, oh, yeah, him, banging a, ugh, co-ed, ugh, divorced his, ass." What the hell? Could no one in this town keep it in their pants? Had I come home to where I truly belonged? "How is he?" Tara asked. "I'm, hmm, plotting out, yeah, baby, that, ugh, mile, oh, good, between his, hmm, school and, fuck, yeah, his home." Haley urged me on harder with her thighs on my ass and her fingernails on my shoulders and back. Lucky me; Lancaster city limits end right past the Kappa Sigma house, then it's all county up to the campus gates. I already had a city cop waiting for second round and now I was adding to frustrated Sheriff's Deputies figuring out how to commit legal malfeasance on my ass. I was so distracted, I literally collided with Haley's face as she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down. Kissing, I understood; the licking of Tara's juices off my face is somewhat unexpected. I caught Tara mesmerized by the show, though I was really not in a position to push them together because Haley started going off. "You bastard," she growled, "bastard, bastard, fuck, fuck, you Bastard!!" She bucked up against me with powerful jabs that rotated and lifted her hips into my downward thrusts. She made this hissing noise through her clenched teeth as her orgasm gripped her body in one massive seizure. How exactly do you explain fucking a female officer to death? "Did, is she going to be okay?" Tara worried. How in the Hell am I supposed to know? "Oh, Gawd," Haley finally gasped. "Do you date older women?" "Ah, I don't know, since I may be going to prison soon," I responded cautiously. "That's not going to be a problem," Tara said seductively as she tilted my sweaty face her way. "Those guys dropped the charges. Your lawyers are processing you out right now." "A less deviant personality would be upset by what you two just did," I groaned, "but since the sex has been really good and I haven't cum yet, all I really want to know is, do we have to stop now or can we keep going?" They exchanged glances, then turned on me with a hunger worthy of she-wolves. Fortunately, I was feeling pretty damn Alpha wolf right then too. Yes, I'm an idiot. An hour later we were all finishing getting dressed when I slumped back on the table and put an arm over my eyes to shield me from the overhead florescent lights. "You okay, Zane?" Tara asked. "Nothing wrong here, but I did have this fantasy that I'd get a good night's sleep tonight. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through classes," I relayed to them. "The weekend is almost here," Haley said as she pulled me up and off the table. I stumbled into her arms and she gave me one more saucy kiss. "Now we better produce your body before too many questions are asked." "Don't worry, we'll keep in touch with you to make sure those guys don't cause you any trouble," Tara grinned. "Which guys?" I asked for clarification. "Exactly," Haley smiled. Translation: whatever excuse works. "Let's go." We three had all made it out the door and about fifteen steps down the hall when a voice called out behind us. "Zane." It was Hudson Lane, the school's lawyer. My two new friends and I turned around and I didn't have to be told how bad things were. Lane and another woman had come out of the door next to the interrogation room I'd just left. That would be the room on the other side of the one-way glass. "Hey, Ms. Lane," I grinned, even as the blood drained out of my face. "Been here long?" "About an hour," she smiled knowingly. "I can explain," I gulped. My two cop buddies were very silent on the matter. "This is going to be good," Lane told the woman standing next to her. The stranger looked intrigued. "See, I ended up in a cell with some drug smugglers and it necessitated a full-body cavity search," I offered hopefully. "While that is a possibility, far-fetched perhaps, why were the officers required to also be without their clothing?" the unnamed lawyer asked. I stared at her. "That's Zane's way of asking who you are," Hudson smiled. "Oh, my apology. I'm Sophia Brigitte Messier. I was hired to represent you in this matter," the lawyer answered. "Oh, okay. The officers discovered that they might have had drug residue on their uniforms and had to remove them before the drugs could take effect," I lied. "And the physical Olympics that ensued?" Brigitte smirked. "CPR, I was having a bad reaction to, something," I groaned. "For an hour? You are lucky to be alive," she said with a straight face. "I often feel that way too, lucky to be alive, that is," I clarified. "Officers, I think we are done here tonight," Lane told my female Deputies. They both took a deep breath, Tara smirked at me, then they both departed down the hall. "Let's go, Zane; it is time to get you home." I moved aside so that Lane and Messier could walk past me, but Lane put her hand to my back and moved me forward. "No, you don't," she laughed. "You need to get to campus before daylight." "Couldn't you stash me in a motel room for twenty-four hours?" I stifled a yawn. Lane shook her head and steered me out. As I was leaving the station, a short, burly Deputy brushed past me. His name tag read Chris Urquhart. Well, fuck a duck, Haley's ex is a Sheriff's Deputy too. "Zane, are you okay?" Lane asked with some concern. "Let's get out of here before that guy figures out I just nailed his ex-wife," I whispered to her. "My car is this way," Brigitte motioned to us, and we hastily made to her car and sped away. "Just so I have this straight," Brigitte turned to Lane, "you let this guy live among an entire school of young ladies?" "I'd trust my daughter if I had one," Hudson declared. "Zane's reliable and loyal, if sexually, " "Promiscuous, aggressive, dynamic, Brigitte added. "I can only imagine how this story is going to be received around the bar where I hang out. I'm not sure anyone will believe me." "This has never happened to you before?" Lane teased us both. "Going to a hospital and intimidating witnesses, happens all the time. Going to the station to retrieve my client, only to find him, I don't even know how to describe all those sexual acts he perpetrated on those two female officers, still having sex with two of his arresting officers, how does this happen to someone?" Brigitte wondered. "That's Zane," Lane answered. "Zane, have you ever turned down an offer of sex?" "Recently," I thought about it, "technically, yes I have." "Really?" Lane sounded surprised. "Well, she said I could do anything to her, and I told her I wanted to cuddle," I told them. "Does that count?" "A girl throws herself at you and all you want to do is cuddle?" Brigitte said. "If it wasn't for what I witnessed over the past hour, I might think you were gay." "She is a really nice girl who is worried about the nature of our relationship. She didn't really want to have sex, she wanted to be appreciated, so I held her and talked to her and we fell asleep in each other's arms," I explained. "Is this the guy you think is a threat to our girls at Freedom Fellowship?" Lane questioned. "I actually wish my boyfriend had felt that way. He was all about quick sex and rolling over, and private time was spending the night at a club with his friends," Brigitte mulled it over, then, "Oh, God, I unloaded on the two of you. I don't even know either one of you." "Zane makes women around him do all kinds of crazy things," Lane chuckled. "Blame him." "Honestly, Ms. Messier, you need to take a good swim to unwind," I noted. "Not power-laps either, but diving and swimming deep, fun stuff." Silence followed. "How did you know I was a swimmer? I competed in college," Brigitte inquired. "You have that kind of body, plus the way your roll your shoulders and hips," I responded. "I thought you would say something like my breasts were small," she stated. "What do you mean? You have great breasts. That green half-cup is a really good choice for you, too," I told her. "How, Brigitte stammered. "I notice women," I explained. "Brown eyes, set tight on an aquiline nose, shoulder length black hair, but you probably feel you need a haircut, fine bone structure, five foot ten, and maybe 115 pounds, slender, and you regularly wax." More silence followed. "How old is he, again?" Brigitte asked Hudson. "I swear he's only eighteen; we checked. All we can figure is that it is genetic. Apparently his father was a real hellion," Lane related. "We are lucky there aren't dozens of little Zane s out there." "Maybe that is why my Dad told me to never use my real name when I first asked him for dating advice," I mused. "I thought your parents died when you were fifteen," Brigitte asked. "They did, but I started dating when I was twelve," I enlightened her. "You were dating when you were twelve?" Hudson gawked. "If it is any consolation, she was sixteen," I offered. "How do you date a sixteen-year-old when you are twelve?" Brigitte wondered. "She was upset because some other girls were bothering her. I started up a conversation and then I asked her out and she said yes," I stated what was obvious to me. "Tell me you didn't have sex," Lane said. "No, I didn't have sex. I was a virgin until I went to Thailand," I filled them in. "No sex of any kind?" Brigitte asked. "I didn't say that. I mean, she was gorgeous and, filled out so much more than girls in my class, and she wanted to show me stuff," I continued. Silence followed us into the campus parking lot. "We'll see you up to your room," Hudson told me as we got out of the car. At this point, I figured I could make a run for it, but then Gorman would probably let them into my room eventually anyway. I considered leaving the campus forever but I couldn't leave Rio behind. Finally, I surrendered to the inevitable. Not because I'm egotistical or believe I'm sexually irresistible but because all I want to do is sleep, and that seems to draw women to me like nails to a magnet. My life would have been so much easier if I'd lied and told Brigitte she was a stick and claimed Hudson was unremarkable. Of course, my hell-bound mind referenced that Hudson was definitely bi-sexual and Brigitte was lonely. "I need you to sign some papers," Brigitte told me as we entered the dorm. "Can I grab a shower first?" I responded. Ms. Messier and Lane exchanged looks. "Of course, Zane," Lane replied. "We'll go over our notes until you get back." In reality, lawyers are struggling guys in cheap suits with bad diets and an under-developed sense of humor. In my world, they are leggy babes with overcharged libidos and a penchant for mixing business with pleasure. I fully expected a lesbian love fest when I got back to my room from my shower so I was a bit surprised when I got back and found them sitting on opposite ends of the bed in awkward conversation. I'm standing there with a white towel around my waist and my flesh covered in a sheen of steam-borne water. Brigitte couldn't take her eyes off me and licked her lips like I was a piece of prime rib. Hudson looked at her and visually teased me seductively; she had used me as bait to get at her newfound colleague. I'd hate her if she wasn't so damn hot. I'm going to have to add Nuvigil to the Viagra I need to start taking. "Zane, why don't you sit down next to Brigitte and we can conclude our business," Hudson smiled and gave me a wink. Great, I've gone from her sex toy to her accomplice. I sat down next to Brigitte, our thighs rubbing against each other. She nervously pulled out some papers and a notepad from her briefcase and held them up for me to look over. At the same time, Hudson scooted down the bed until she was wedged in on my other side. "Here is the itinerary I followed," she began. "Okay, good," I nodded. I would have paid more attention except Hudson touched my jaw and pulled my head away from Brigitte and my lips into hers. "My interview, maybe I should, Brigitte stuttered, then fell totally quiet when I rested a hand on her thigh right above the knee. Hudson and I kept making out, even after she pushed me back on the bed and hovered over me. I kept a hand resting on Brigitte's hip and I felt her shift so she was closer to facing the two of us. "Keep him busy," Hudson suddenly told Brigitte as she pulled up and away and began taking her shirt off. She looked back and forth between me and Lane for three seconds before leaning in on me. "Are you okay with this?" she said in a throaty growl. I figured less was more so I simply nodded. She started kissing me tentatively so I ran my hand through her hair and pulled her closer. Her position was ungainly so I figured she'd turn on her side and lay beside me. Instead, she vaulted me and straddled my hips. "Are you really sure you are okay with this?" she panted. "If you are asking me if I want to have sex with you, then yes, I have been fantasizing about having sex with you since I first saw you, Brigitte." Not really the truth, but she did have a nice, firm, athletic body and I did want to know it better. On my tombstone I want these words transcribed: He was just curious. "Thank God," she confessed, as her eyes lit up with passion, "because I haven't had sex in nine months and watching you for the past hour and a half has been murder." "Are you going to make love to him with your clothes on?" Hudson teased Brigitte. "Oh, right," Brigitte admitted. She rolled off toward Hudson and began hiking up her skirt and working down her pantyhose and panties. "Don't go anywhere," she demanded of me. "This is my room; I'm hardly going to make a run for the door," I joked back. I pulled off my towel, rolled onto my side, and returned to kissing Brigitte. Every time she revealed a new portion of her body, I dove on it, tasting, kissing, and nibbling every inch. Hudson finished getting undressed first despite Brigitte's frantic efforts. She was content to watch me and the new lawyer go at it. When Brigitte finished stripping she pulled me on top of her with her legs pinning my hips to her. I reached between her legs and stroked her kitty. "Is there anything you want me to do first?" I questioned her with a husky tone. She let me rub my fingers over her cunt several times before she nodded vigorously. "Scoot to the top of the bed," I requested. Brigitte crab-walked to the head of the bed while Hudson let her move past, then shot me a 'clever boy' look. I crawled forth on all fours between Brigitte's legs and gave her a famished look before lowering my lips to her muff. "Umm," she moaned as I rested my upper lip against her clit while I inserted my tongue deep into her liquid folds, already dripping with her need. I worked her over for over a minute before I noted Hudson poised right above my head. I parted Brigitte's legs farther apart and began kissing down her thighs toward the underside of her knees. "No, Brigitte pleaded. "Close your eyes and concentrate on my lips," I instructed her. When she did so, I exchanged another quick look to Hudson, then went lower on Brigitte's thighs. Hudson's arms straddled Brigitte's body and she lowered her face onto Brigitte's cunt. "Yeah," Brigitte purred, as Hudson slowly sucked on her clit. We kept up the pressure on our latest friend for several minutes before she finally clued in that there were two sets of lips engaging her body's erogenous zones. "Ms. Lane, Hudson, I don't think, oh, Brigitte's protest was stifled by Hudson's vigorous suction of her clit. I gave Ms. Messier about fifteen seconds to decide whether or not she wanted to fight Hudson off but when her hands quested down to gently hold Hudson's head in place, I was sure we were okay. I moved outside of Brigitte's legs and slowly forced her onto her side. Hudson responded expertly and soon I was kissing her ass cheeks and Hudson was lapping her cunt. Hudson was tuning up her cunt while I teased and penetrated her anus with the occasional sojourn lower so that Hudson and I could kiss between her legs. That intensified Brigitte's arousal and within a minute, she began trembling. "You two, are incredible," she gasped out desperately. "I'm going, going to cum!" She bucked a few times, then went off. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, Yes, Yes!" she growled. Brigitte wasn't a screamer but her orgasm carried a subsonic undercurrent that made the skin tingle and the blood pump faster. As she came down we positioned ourselves farther up Brigitte's body, sandwiching her between us. "How do you want to handle this?" Hudson threw out there. "I still need a stiff, hard cock," Brigitte pleaded. "Okay," Hudson grinned wickedly. "Brigitte, we will '69' with you on top and Zane will mount you doggy style." "I'm not really into girls, sorry," Brigitte apologized. "You don't have to do anything to me," Hudson lied to her" "but I want another shot at your clit while Zane bangs you." Brigitte gulped, then nodded, and the ladies positioned themselves quickly enough. Several things ensued, primarily the exposure of Hudson Lane as a persistent witch who usually gets her way. Just as important, Brigitte isn't a 'slammer', she's a 'slow stroke' kind of girl. She likes the feel of a strong rod slowly pushing in and out of her as it rubs against her vaginal walls. She's not about friction but sensitivity. Another little trick was, every fifth stroke into Brigitte, Hudson would pull me out and insert nearly two-thirds of my meat down her throat, then reinsert me back into Brigitte, which is pretty freaking Awesome. That last bit of Ms. Lane's plan was a combination of stamina, curiosity, and lustful arousal. For the first minute or so, Brigitte kept her head up and avoided looking down at Hudson's inviting spread. Hudson would ungulate her hips and moan occasionally but wouldn't play with herself. Eventually, Brigitte was drawn to look at Hudson's glistening lips and finally touch them. A few cautious, coaxing strokes turned into a finger dipping in and an excited squeal from Hudson. Brigitte took the encouragement for what it was and began to seriously work Hudson's lips over with the first and third fingers while finger-fucking with the middle. Hudson hungrily sought out more attention and before I knew it, Brigitte had lowered her lips to Lane's engorged clitoris. To remind Lane she wasn't getting away with murder, I reached under Brigitte and tortured Hudson's nipples with a vengeance. Maybe that wasn't the best way to teach Hudson a lesson because she began exploding all over the place seconds later, it is that whole seduction thing, no doubt. That left me with nearly a minute to concentrate solely on Brigitte and I did so by leaning over her body, reaching around and massaging each breast lovingly, from tender flesh to rigid nipple. Her climax had the unintended consequence of Brigitte biting Lane on the inner thigh hard enough to leave visible teeth marks and elicit a loud squeal from Hudson. Brigitte tumbled to the side in a jumble of arms and legs with Hudson. I crashed backwards, sprawling over the foot of my bed. I lay there, exhausted, wasted, broken, and spent physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Lane appeared like some hazy spirit over me and smiled. "Now it is my turn," she demanded. Rio loves me. I'm sure if I begged her to put a knife through my heart she would do it. I put that suggestion on my 'To Do' list. Relationships, consequences, and women in need. "Zane," Barbie Lynn whispered to me as she shook my shoulder. I swear I only got to sleep ten minutes ago. I blearily looked around me. Brigitte was face down on my left snoring softly, her black hair splayed everywhere. Hudson was asleep on my right, an innocent smile on her lips visible because her head was turned toward me. Then there was Barbie Lynn who looked both amused and nervous as she was trying to wake me up without disturbing the two professional women to either side. "You need to get up," she continued to hiss. "I don't want you to miss your shower." Yes, I had already had a shower recently, but I'd also been milked of every last ounce of energy in the interim. Gingerly I climbed over Hudson, but half way there she stirred and started to wake. "Go back to sleep," I murmured to her. I kissed her on the cheek; she grinned, wiggled beneath me and then went still. My cock had been resting on her ass when this happened and sprang to life in one last suicidal effort at manhood. Barbie Lynn grabbed a towel and my shower kit and led me by the hand down the stairs. When we stepped out into the hall she wrapped the towel around me, stroking my hard-on. "If you like," she purred, "I'll take care of that for you." She had no idea why I started to sob uncontrollably. She put an arm around my shoulder and led me to the showers in silence. My cadre of shower-buddies was already there when I arrived. I nodded a few greetings then walked straight into a cold spray of water, hanging my head and letting the chill push me back toward consciousness. "What's wrong with him?" Opal asked Barbie Lynn. "He was arrested last night," she told the assembled group. "You go, Boy!" Rio exulted. She's a freak. "He was on a date with Hope and Chastity," Iona spoke up. "I'll find out what they know." "Anyway, I went up to find him and there he was with all those bites and scratches all over his body, plus he had Ms. Lane and some other woman I don't know in bed with him, asleep." "Ms. Lane, the school lawyer?" Brandi babbled. "The very one," Barbie Lynn affirmed. "I suppose it is too much to hope for that they had clothes on?" Iona sighed. "Sorry, no. Naked as the day they were born with that freshly and thoroughly fucked glow all about them," Barbie Lynn giggled. "Well, who is going to ask him what happened?" Opal demanded. "I don't know," Brandi intervened. "He looks like he's about to die." "Nah, I know that look," Rio snickered. "He's past the 'about to die' phase. Right now, he's at the 'praying for death' phase." The water warmed up and I decided it was time to actually get clean so I poured out some shampoo and worked it in. Signs of life on my part quieted the conversation and quickened the girls to finish up their own cleaning functions. Later Opal insisted on shaving me while Brandi began cataloging the sexual details the women had left on my body. "Whoa, the bite marks on his shoulders are smaller than the ones on his ass," Brandi enlightened the remaining girls. Iona and Rio had already beaten a hasty exit and had I been more alert, I would have been terribly worried. As it was, Barbie Lynn guided me back to my door and let me go up alone. "Umm, hey, Zane," murmured Hudson as I began getting dressed. She had rolled over and was looking at me as I zipped up my pants. "Good Morning, Hudson. Barbie Lynn Masters was up here earlier, reminding me to use the shower, and she saw both of you," I informed her. "Oh, God, where am I? Oh, God, what have I done?" moaned Brigitte into her pillow. I walked to her side of the bed and sat down. I let my hand rub her shoulder blades and brushed her hair away from her neck. "You didn't do anything immoral or illegal," Hudson said. "Technically, Zane was never your client but a person of interest to your client. We are all of legal age." "I'm in some teenage boy's dorm room," she muttered. "I had hopes of making partner one day too." "How do you feel?" I asked. "I'm beat," she sighed. I kissed her on the back of the neck. "Don't." I kissed her lower, where the neck flows into the shoulders. "Don't, Another kiss along the top of the left shoulder blade, "Oh, a final kiss to the top of the shoulder. "Damn," she moaned. "I hope you had a good time because I certainly did," I whispered into her ear. "I did," she admitted. "I'm, still thrumming inside. That last orgasm, she couldn't put it into words, though I was sure Hudson was feeling very self-satisfied right then. "Don't worry about anything. Stay in my room until 9:00 then slip over to Ms. Lane's office while we are at Assembly, then make a public showing of leaving from there and heading out. Everything will be okay," I assured her. "I'll look after her, Zane," Hudson Lane told me. "How about I set the alarm clock and you two get some sleep?" I suggested. Hudson pouted, then let it turn into a knowing grin. "Okay, but what about you?" Hudson noted. "You look like Death warmed over." "Thanks," I joked through the fatigue. "How come only women are allowed to look even more desirable after sex, while men simply look worn out?" Brigitte rolled onto her side and stared at me. "Is he for real?" she wondered to Hudson. "Absolutely," she chuckled back. "Look at his pants if you don't believe me." Damn it, I was hard again. "Zane, have you ever thought about interning at a law firm?" Brigitte asked. "I'm in Pre-Med," I answered. "Change majors," she commanded. Hudson laughed. "Be careful, Sophia Brigitte Messier, there are at least a dozen young ladies on this campus who will deeply resent you poaching their favorite freshman," Hudson snickered. Brigitte looked at me with a twinge of sadness and regret. "Hudson knows how to reach me if you ever have need of me," I told her. "Please understand that while what we did was very pleasurable, I am here to graduate with a degree in something." "Yes, that whole being eighteen and all," Brigitte sighed. "I understand." "Zane," Hudson huffed, "do you want to see Brigitte again?" "Absolutely; there is something to be said for her tight swimmer's body," I replied," and she's definitely got spirit." "I'm not another one of your college co-eds," she chastised me, but with a smile on her face. "Why not? You are as wild and vigorous as any eighteen-year-old I know," I responded. Brigitte's mouth fell open in shock. "I, well, because I'm a graduate of Georgetown Law School; third in my class," she stammered. "One never stops being young; you merely forget how," I quoted someone from somewhere, but I was too tired to remember the specifics. "I hope that if any job opportunity every stops you from being as sexy as you are now, you turn it down." "Imagine what he's like when he's actually trying to seduce you," Hudson smiled. "I repeat my earlier question: are you sure you want to unleash this boy, man on an all-girls campus?" Brigitte grinned. "I swear, the next girl I get to seduce here will be the first," I groaned. "They rarely give me the chance or the time before, well, things happen. Frankly, I've only romanced one girl here and she's not too interested." "Who is that?" Hudson inquired. "Christina Buchanan," I shrugged, "a beautiful, intelligent senior who seems to have enough sense to not get too involved with me." Brigitte shook her head and chuckled. "She's my employer. She hired me to get you out of jail." I wasn't sure how long I stood there digesting that news because the next thing I recalled was Hudson calling my name. "Zane? Zane? Are you okay?" "Huh?" I muttered. "You zoned out there for a minute. You really need some sleep," she observed. "I won't argue with that, but it doesn't seem likely," I noted. "I am going to call Ms. Goodswell and ask her to get you half the day off," Hudson stated. "You aren't going to hear me argue," I grinned as I flopped down on the bed. I assumed she called but I was out before she reached her phone. Getting Through The Day I slept through a nice little struggle between Rhaine and Barbie Lynn. Rhaine had been sent promptly at 7:00 to deliver me to the Chancellor. Barbie Lynn had been warned of the visit, and my condition, by Virginia Goodswell, and held her off long enough for Doctor Larson to get there and defuse the situation. By the time the Chancellor made a second run at me, Hudson and Brigitte had made their exit and Ms. Lane was able to cover for me and my 'condition'. At 11:30 I received a call from Lane to 'remind' me that I had to bring by the papers she'd 'left' with me when she escorted me from the jail the night before. I found the paperwork that Brigitte had wanted me to sign last night, read it over, and then signed them. After that, I grabbed my stuff and headed for the Dining Hall. For a nice change, I was one of the early arrivals, getting my food and grabbing my spot in peace. I had started working on my salad when I spotted Iona running right at me. "Zane!" she cried out as she hugged me. "I was so worried about you." "I was a little exhausted, Iona," I squeezed her back. "There was nothing to worry about." "You were in jail, Silly," she lectured me. "A really prisoner could have hurt you." Iona was missing the fact that I put two people in the hospital. Mentioning that I threatened two bikers over a bench to sleep on would definitely be unwise. "I was in no real danger. They didn't put me in with any bad people; mainly drunks and minor drug charges," I embellished the facts. She rested her head on my shoulder (I was still sitting) and sighed. "Well, Rio and I were still worried," she murmured. No sooner had Iona headed off to get food than Rio came up. "Hey, little brother, we have got to get you a prison tattoo now," she laughed. "Rio, I was in County lock-up for four hours. I didn't even get to use the communal toilet," I joked back. "So, how many hotties did you bang? Quick, tell me before Iona gets back," Rio grinned. "They don't house men and women together," I pointed out. "Oh, like concrete walls and iron bars are going to slow you down," she teased. "Fine, I swear I did not have sex with any female, or male, inmates," I pledged. "Damn, she frowned for a second, then she brightened up. "You nailed a cop!" I lowered my head with embarrassment. "Well, fuck," she crowed, "you nailed two? More?" I pointed to the lunch line. "Go get some food, damn it!" I growled. She skipped off, overly pleased with herself, and all I could do was shake my head. Before Iona returned, a dozen more of my friends stopped by to see if I was okay, if I was molested in prison (they are weird friends), and to confirm that I'd really put two guys in the hospital for threatening two FFU girls. Iona and Rio were sitting down with me when Raven came up, looking conflicted. "Well, I don't imagine you made any progress on our project," she asked. "No. I said I'd get stuff this weekend so we could start Monday," I assured her. "Fine; try to stay out of jail and not fight anybody, and get some sleep," she stated. Raven gave me a curt nod, turned and left. "Zane," Rio sighed, "you've gotten another one into your orbit." "No," I insisted, "we are studying together; that's all." "So she came over here to ask totally irrelevant questions she already knew the answers too?" Iona mused. God is laughing at me and trying to drive me crazy. Chastity and Hope came walking up next, looking less pleased than I hoped they would. "We need a moment outside," Chastity cautioned me. I stuffed as much food as possible into my cheeks before getting up and following them out; I'd missed breakfast after all. The trail led outside where Christina, Faith, and Heaven waited. In a strange reversal of events, Heaven looked fearful for me and Christina looked like she wanted to bite my head off. Even Faith held some sympathy toward me. I got to them, tried to smile, but Christina cut me off. "Can you try to not fuck everyone in sight?" Christina snarled. "Honestly, all I wanted to do was get back to my room and get some sleep," I swore. "What did he d

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com
The Groan Before the Glory | Bishop T.D. Jakes

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2025 80:58


A sound is rising from the earth — a groan that carries both pain and promise. It's the collective pain we have all endured as we've hoped and waited for God to make sense of our struggle. In “The Groan Before the Glory,” Bishop T.D. Jakes reveals that our suffering isn't proof of God's absence — it's the soil of transformation. The Spirit groans within us, interceding for what words can't touch and awakening the sons and daughters of God to rise. What feels like breaking is really birthing us. The groan is producing glory — and the glory comes with power! Every shout shakes something loose. Every tear turns into triumph. And every praise disrupts through darkness like an earthquake. The glory of God is breaking out in you — so open your mouth, lift your hands, and let the fire fall. God is making you powerful. Watch today and step into your supernatural comeback! Message: “The Groan Before the Glory” Scripture: Romans 8:18-28 (KJV) Speaker: Bishop T.D. Jakes Date: Oct. 19, 2025 ✨ Welcome to Your Moment of Transformation You don't have to walk this journey alone. Let Jesus guide your steps and fill your life with purpose and peace.

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com - Audio
The Groan Before the Glory | Bishop T.D. Jakes

The Potter's Touch on Lightsource.com - Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2025 80:58


A sound is rising from the earth — a groan that carries both pain and promise. It's the collective pain we have all endured as we've hoped and waited for God to make sense of our struggle. In “The Groan Before the Glory,” Bishop T.D. Jakes reveals that our suffering isn't proof of God's absence — it's the soil of transformation. The Spirit groans within us, interceding for what words can't touch and awakening the sons and daughters of God to rise. What feels like breaking is really birthing us. The groan is producing glory — and the glory comes with power! Every shout shakes something loose. Every tear turns into triumph. And every praise disrupts through darkness like an earthquake. The glory of God is breaking out in you — so open your mouth, lift your hands, and let the fire fall. God is making you powerful. Watch today and step into your supernatural comeback! Message: “The Groan Before the Glory” Scripture: Romans 8:18-28 (KJV) Speaker: Bishop T.D. Jakes Date: Oct. 19, 2025 ✨ Welcome to Your Moment of Transformation You don't have to walk this journey alone. Let Jesus guide your steps and fill your life with purpose and peace.

Legacy Church - Video Podcast
Consider The Old Ways - When the Wicked Rule, the People Groan

Legacy Church - Video Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2025 35:28


ExplicitNovels
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 6

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2025


Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 6 Zane and the Chancellor Get Jiggy In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. He who said 'Live by the sword/die by the sword' wasn't into empire-building     In past lives I must have been the first guy up the ladder storming the city walls, the first one into the castle breech, and that trooper charging the machine gun nest, because the only thing I could think to do when my hands were on my nemesis's breasts was to pinch those nipples harder and pull them toward me and up. Mel gasped and fell forward, pressing her chest into mine. I kept twisting and pulling her nipples for thirty seconds while she made these little choking noises, ending in one loud gasp when I let them go. She kept her hands resting on my hips while she brought her breathing under control. "You ,  bastard , she wheezed. "I am ,  going to ,  make you pay." "You sound so angry, Professor Bazz, but I notice you still have your body pressed tightly against mine," I pointed out in a deep seductive voice. I could feel her willing her body away but the flesh refused to obey. I dragged a hand from her shoulder, up her neck to her jawline, then back to her neck. "Your pulse is throbbing like a race horse, Professor," I whispered. "If I stay, I'm going kiss you, and if I kiss you, we are going to end up on the floor ,  so I had better go." Maybe it was the whole city wall/breech/machine gun thing that made me dip down into her. Bazz moved her face away but that only opened up my real target area more. I bit into her neck, eliciting an absolutely slutty yelp, then followed up with a few seconds of tight suction. It ended with one last jab of the tongue before I pulled away. Bazz regarded me, angry but also anxiously anticipating my next move. "I need to go now or I'll be late for Karate Club," I informed her as I backed for the door. The Chancellor answered that with another slap, which stung, and a stomp on my foot, which I avoided. "Was that for the bite, or for leaving you wanting more?" I inquired, "You really do look sizzling hot right now so I'm kind of wondering." "Get ,  out," she growled. With that she strutted back to her desk but before she could round the corner, I let out a low wolf whistle that brought her up cold. She looked over her shoulder with a furious glare. "Whoops, sorry," I shrugged. "You have a great ,  well, I was going to say ass, but really your waist, hips, ass, thighs and calves are all pretty damn fine. You can't blame me for enjoying the view." Randy picked up a glass and gold statue from her desk and hefted it, clearly calculating her desire to hit me with it against the value of the item. "I'll make you grovel at me feet," she said with relish, putting the statue back down. "I'm going to fuck you like I own you," I rebounded. Our eyes clashed, then she pointed to the door. This time I wised up enough to make a gracious exit, breezing past Ms. Marlow and Ms. Goodswell as I left. The women went in opposite directions, Ms. Marlowe going into Doctor Bazz's office and shutting the door with Ms. Goodswell running me down and grabbing my arm. "Zane, what ,  did she slap you?" she blurted out as she looked at my face. "I've had worse," I replied. "What did you do?" she worried. "I'd tell you but you would most likely be ashamed of me. Suffice it to say we didn't part on friendly terms but I'm not expelled yet either," I informed her. "Zane, you don't know who you are truly dealing with," she pleaded, suddenly vulnerable. "She got to you, didn't she?" I asked with new insight. "I'm not going to turn on you, if that's what you are asking/" Virginia assured me. "No. She got to you when you were here as a student," I clarified the question for her. Her lack of response was its own answer. "Are you using me to strike back at her?" I wondered. "No ,  no. Zane, I want you to win on your own merits and not for something I did years ago," she answered fitfully. We silently stared at one another for a few seconds. "How bad is it going to be now?" she questioned me. "How personal has this become?" "Well," I mumbled, "I caught her masturbating, pinched and twisted her nipples, then bit her on the neck ,  oh, and I told her she had a nice body." "You are an idiot," was her assessment. "She is going to make it her personal mission to cause you as much pain as possible." I gave a timid smile. "Damn it, Zane, she will still come after the people around you." "Virginia, she is going to come after us no matter what I do or don't do as long as I stay. The difference is that now I have her out in the open. Now I no longer have to guess what she might be like or what's going around in her head. Making it personal makes it easier on me because I don't doubt that I belong here anymore," I explained. "Now it is me versus an evil bitch." "She's not been beaten in ten years," she warned me. "That's because you hit like girls," I joked. "I thought by now you would have learned how hard girls can hit," Virginia sighed. "It isn't that girls can't hit hard, it is the boobs that get in the way," I quipped. Virginia gave me a glare that was more amused than angry. "I have to get to Karate Club now." "Go," she dismissed me, and off I went. First Victory at the Gym This round of Karate Club started much better than Wednesday's, seeing how I could stand without pain again. I spent the first half of the hour sparring with my second tier teammates and doing exceptionally well. When we were called together for a joint session with the first team, most were elated; me, I was suspicious. Coach Dana Gorman brought out Team Captain Wilhelmina Spellman and pretty much broke her down in front of us. Cappadocia came and went down next. "This has been very unsatisfying. It is clear that our leadership has been lax in developing our skills. Is there anyone willing to defend this team's progress?" It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand there was more to come of the beatings Willy and Cappy had gone through. "What about you, Mr. Braxton?" Dana came to the point of this whole exercise. Willy and Cappy, like me, were Christina supporters, and this was clearly an effort to nip the rebellion in the bud. "Thanks but no thanks; I think I've learned enough from you today. Maybe I'll feel ready for a fascist beat-down on Friday," I laughed. "Fine, Mr. Braxton , she continued. "Please Dana, call me Zane, since you are clearly trying to figure a way to get my blood on your fists," I interrupted. "Zane, if you show a little backbone and join me in a friendly practice session, I'll make you exempt from Handmaiden's Duty tomorrow," Dana offered. "Make it any person of my choice and we have a deal," I answered. "Very well," Dana agreed. "I choose Rio Talon," I jumped at the opportunity. "Done. Now get up here," Dana motioned. "Who will referee us?" I inquired; Dana smiled and pointed to the first team member whose ass I'd kicked an hour earlier, Mercy Chaplain. That seemed fair , We went to our sparring positions. It should be pointed out that I had two years of informal training in kickboxing; Dana had over fifteen years of competitive experience in Karate. I had height, weight, and reach on her, but since this was a Karate match I couldn't use all my moves. In essence, I should have been running instead of fighting. "Ready ,  Go," Mercy shouted. My first thought was 'Damn, that's fast,' as I blundered my way through my initial block. I didn't have a second to marvel at my good fortune before another quick flow of kicks and punches came my way. I ran out of room, luck, and fighting space, taking a blow to the cheek. "Point!" Mercy called out. We fell back to our initial positions and we started again. This time I ended flat on my back and her 'touch' to my chest that was supposed to finish me really hurt. "Point." "Is this the best you've got, Zane? Do you want to give up now?" Dana asked evenly. I spun up, resumed my starting position but remained silent. Dana lined up and came at me again. This time I did the wrong thing; I gave up my reach advantage, catching her off-guard for the split second it took me to drive my knee into her diaphragm. I rode the blow into Dana, driving her into the ground and finishing her with a blow to the chest. "Point." I rolled off the coach before she could react and reverse our positions. Dana sprung up and took a fighting stance. "That wasn't a Karate move," she pointed out angrily. "This isn't a training session so I guess that makes us even," I grinned. "Do you want to give up now?" I retook my start position but adopted the more fluid kick-boxing style. "I see you've stopped pretending to know Karate," she snorted. "At least one of us has stopped pretending," I shot back. "When you actually start caring for this club again, let me know." The strike was so fast I didn't really see it. I'm so damn good my arm actually tried to block before the thought registered in my head; I was just too slow and she snaked past my guard to slam her fist into my stomach. Another blow came, followed by a leg-sweep. I plummeted to the ground and Dana was on me like a leopard closing for the kill. Dana's only problem was that this had ceased being tournament combat and become a street fight. I brought a knee up between us, deflected her fist with my elbow, and pile-drove my skull into her forehead. This let me leverage her off me and break back to my feet. Just my luck; Dana was right on me, barely letting me get my hands up for protection. The Coach was still coming on, rapid-fire with kicks and punches; I could not find an opening to attack back. Something had changed, though; Dana was showing me much more respect. Twice more I fended her off from the ground but the third time she was simply too much, connecting her fist to my cheek so hard she drew blood. I half-expected a second punch but it never came. "Point?" Mercy called out in confusion. Dana stood up quickly and looked at me. I jumped to a standing position in one fluid move. I rubbed the back of my hand against my cheek. The sweat stung the wound and I left a smear of blood, which I licked off. I defiantly walked back to my starting position. She came at me like a desert storm, fierce and burning. The outcome was pretty much the same except I took the finishing blow like a jackhammer to my jaw. "Point." I saw stars and was still wobbling when I returned to my starting position. Not being at 100%, the results were predictable, I was back on the mat in five seconds. "Point." "Stay down," she ordered me quietly. I pushed myself up and worked my way back for some more punishment. Dana took her position and ,  I kicked her so hard upside her head I was momentarily afraid I'd broken her neck. She landed face first; I flipped her over and punched her hard in the sternum. "Point." "I can keep this up all day long," I promised Dana as I took my turn staring down at the Defeated. Thirty seconds later I was staring up the ceiling of the gym with several girls, Dana and Cappy among them, looking down at me. "What happened to the other guy?" I moaned. "What other guy?" Cappadocia said, "It was , She was clearly worried I had a concussion. "The truck that hit me," I joked weakly. "Please tell me that hitting my face ruined their whole day." "It seems you weren't able to keep this up all day after all," Coach Dana told me as she stood to leave. I was on Martian time," I coughed. "They have much shorter days." I had no idea if that was true or not; I should ask Iona. "I think our lessons are finished for today," Dana announced. "Right when I was starting to wear you down," I teased her. Dana stopped walking away and studied me with annoyance. I tried to stand, with half the girls trying to help me up while the others tried to hold me down for my own survival's sake. "Assume the start position," Dana ordered me sternly. I finally managed to force my way to my feet but by the time I had, Wilhelmina had taken my place. "Wilhelmina?" Coach Dana questioned. "I apologize," Willy stated. "I've learned my mistake. I should have never given up on your lessons so easily the first time. I clearly haven't learned enough but I'm willing to keep at it as long as you are." "Me too," Cappadocia chimed in defiantly. Dana Gorman wasn't an easy woman to push around. Willy, Cappy, and two other girls kept going at her until we had to break for dinner. Before the five of us left the gym I tapped Gorman on her shoulder. "Rio has tomorrow free and clear, remember?" I asked. Dana nodded reluctantly. "What about Ms. Becket?" she questioned. "You keep the fight fair and I'm not worried about it. You keep making this crap up as you go along and we will have a serious Come to Jesus meeting. Please pass the word on because I'd hate for some girl to walk into this thinking you can protect them," I cautioned her. "Mr. Braxton, I can protect them," Dana stated confidently. "I sincerely doubt that since you have no idea how I'd get my revenge," I grinned, before spinning away and starting to join my fellow students. "All I have to do is stop you, Zane," she pointed out. "That's your mistake, Dana; I'm no longer alone. We are willing to play as rough as you are now. If you keep this an educational experience nothing will happen," I warned her. "Do you really think you have that much power here?" Dana scoffed. "Nope. But then, I'm not the idiot who punished Christina Buchanan for showing a bit of mercy toward Rio and I. Without her, we were doomed, so thank the Chancellor for giving us all common cause," I explained before leaving with the ladies. By the time I made it to the Dining Hall things were looking bitter and depressing but events quickly proved my boast to Dana to be correct. The pro-Rhaine forces had been pretty harsh to the freshmen supporting Christina and morale was low. Christina had, upon arrival, started rallying her supporters with a few kind words and a gentle touch. When Mrs. Carradine went to stop her and make her resume her seat, Rio 'accidently' coated the teacher in spaghetti, broccoli and a double helping of jello. She didn't get to enjoy her success for long; four girls planted their trays on Rio's head right after that. But they clearly didn't know who they were dealing with. Rio calmly picked up a meatball from the ground, popped it in her mouth and told them, "Yo, bitch, tell the cook it needs more salt," then made her way back to her seat and acted like nothing had happened. Iona grinned wearily and brushed some broccoli out of Rio's hair. The train wreck that followed was predictable. The teachers tried to enforce a ban to stop the food fighting but clearly were far more concerned with suppressing Christina's side. Five unresolved food attacks later, Christina secretly sent out the word and her followers attacked en mass, selecting known Rhaine supporters and burying them in one rush that no authority on the floor could stop. Before the teachers could bring order out of the chaos, Christina directed her people to escape. I joined the exodus and soon found myself in a group of ten seniors, Christina and company included. I stood next to Barbie Lynn as the others hashed out what was going on and slowly, the reason for me being there was revealed. Seniors and juniors were in this little movement because they knew, liked, and respected Christina. Freshmen and sophomores were more in this because of me, mainly based on the novelty of my existence. I was an administrative screw-up, but I was TheIR administrative screw-up. I also made the Handmaiden's Duty a fun thing whenever I could and not an onerous chore. Apparently, a few of them even described me to the seniors as 'charming'. Our problem was, how did we make our rebellion grow? The fact was that most of the incentives were doled out by the faculty. "We target sympathetic teachers, then," Christina directed. "That food fight had to make us look good too," Chastity said. "Nothing is as effective as a failed suppression attempt." "I'm fixing up the Solarium tomorrow," I informed the group. "So?" one of the unnamed seniors stated in a condescending matter. "You need a broom?" "Actually, I've recruited ninety freshmen and we are going to prep the entire roof for occupation," I responded. The senior looked to Christina who gave her a clever lopsided grin. "Temperance, I told you he wasn't a lost cause," Christina reminded her. "Occupation for what?" Faith inquired. I looked nervously about because that part of the plan was so easy to bust apart. I decided to give a partial lie. "On Sunday afternoon I'm having furniture delivered from a rental service," I told them. "What's a sofa or two going to accomplish?" Temperance questioned. "How about three flat screens, two pool tables, a hot tub, two refrigerators, a coffee bar, a Wi-Fi hot spot, and eight rooms full of furniture?" I related to the small group. "You are bringing in all of that?" Temperance gasped. "You got us a hot tub?" Barbie Lynn exulted. "Zane inherited a small fortune," Christina pointed out. "That's small by Christina's standards," Chastity teased her friends. "Yes, Barbie Lynn, our dorm will have a hot tub," I tried to keep the lusty images of Barbie in a bikini out of my mind. By the look in her eyes she was having even less success than I was, though; I doubted I looked as good in a bikini. "How are you getting the water up there?" Hope seemed intrigued. "The roof's gardens were rigged for irrigation so we have the water. I am adding a few hot water heaters for any other needs, including the dish washer, washer/dryer, sauna, and showers and Jacuzzi tubs. Believe me, I had some friends look this over," I promised. "I think we can trust Iona to have done a thorough job," Christina glanced my way knowingly. "Iona?" a different senior asked. "Iona Becket," Heaven answered with a smirk. "That's his witty little sidekick who invented Zane's Handmaiden's Duty schedule. She's tons smarter than he is." "Heaven, anytime you want to stop talking about me as if I'm not in the room, feel free," I jibbed. "Don't hold your breath, sweet-cheeks," Heaven snapped right back. That little exchange seemed to have eased the tension in the group. "Let's split and keep up the recruiting drive. Stick to groups when we can and try to help any freshmen we know to be on our side," Christina directed. The group split up but instead of heading into my dorm I headed toward the parking lot. "Zane, where are you going?" Christina inquired. "I promised my aunt we'd spend a few more dinners together and I'm late as it is, but can I have a moment of your time when I get back?" I responded. Christina gave me a curious look then nodded and led her posse in the other direction. Each girl waved me good-bye in their own way. After the dining hall melee, eating with my aunt was purely mundane and relaxing, for which I was very thankful. Honestly I only wanted to shave her legs. "Zane, what's up?" Christina said by way of greetings when I returned to campus that night. Despite the gang being alone, the group of us gathered in tightly together. "I had an interesting talk with the Chancellor today, as you all probably know. Among other things, she told me she knew Heaven's secret and she'd expose it and my relationship with her, bringing about my humiliation," I informed them. There was a hush amongst us. "What, what did you tell her?" Heaven asked fearfully. "I told her to go right ahead," I replied. A murmur of displeasure went through the group, except Christina, who stared intently at the ground, and Heaven who looked like she was going to cry, or kick my ass. "How could you do that to me?" Heaven whispered. Before I could answer, Christina chuckled softly. "Heaven, the key phrase here is 'humiliate him'. Zane isn't afraid of the whole world knowing you two are together. She's severely underestimated him and his ability to differentiate between lust and friendship." Heaven looked to me for verification. I gave her a kiss on the lips before saying, "Christina said it better than I could, but she knows what I meant." "Besides," Hope added, "now that Zane is here, Heaven, you get grandfathered in, so to speak. You've been here three years so they have to let you graduate." Heaven look to me with some kind of new curiosity. Once again I almost wish she'd kick me instead. "Heaven?" I questioned her. She bit her lip. "Can we have some boyfriend-girlfriend time?" she asked me all of a sudden. "Damn, Heaven, I thought we agreed to share Zane?" Chastity teased her. "Along with letting the poor guy get some sleep from time to time," Hope agreed. "Can we get together tomorrow, Heaven?" I begged my transsexual lover. "Make sure you get Barbie Lynn's permission," Faith joked weakly. "Screw this," I groaned, "I'm getting a clone." "That's enough, ladies," Christina announced. "Zane, thank you for the information. It gives us some things to think about; good night." Heaven rushed up and kissed me hungrily before joining her departing friends - ravenous little minx. I've Never Done this Before I made my way to the dorm and proceeded quietly to the fifth floor, saying goodnight to a few girls along the way. I was pretty sure the door being locked guaranteed me a bit of alone time. Clue number one that this was not going to happen was the soft fluttering glow from the top of the stairs followed by the faint scent of roses and wax. I was trying to figure out what Barbie Lynn had planned when I came up to the landing and saw Brandi and Opal reclining on the bed and staring at me, illuminated by the light of a dozen candles. 'Oh, fuck,' I thought, 'Brandi, leg shaving, rescheduled from earlier this evening, plus Opal hoping for a three-way later. Damn it!' I must look somewhat put-out because when Brandi addressed me she was cautious. "Is everything okay?" "Yes, absolutely," I responded. "I need to get some hot water, some towels, and we can begin." "We brought up the towels and hooked up a coffee maker for the hot water," Opal said. "Great," I summoned up as much enthusiasm as I could manage, "let's see what I've got to work with." I walked up to Brandi, taking off my shirt. As I came up, Brandi swung her legs off the bed and spread them to either side of me. I sat cross-legged on the floor, taking my shoes and socks off. Before slowly and sensually removing her shoes and socks, I made sure to massage each calf. "So, what kinds of tools are being provided?" I questioned her. "We have shaving cream, a safety razor, a multi-purpose moustache trimmer," Opal presented to me. "Trimmer?" I questioned. Instead of speaking, Brandi stood up - which kind of put her crotch right in my face - then slowly wiggled down her panties until she stepped out of them and tossed them aside. "I want a rose," Brandi informed me with some passion as she lifted her skirt and exposed her pubic hair for my sculpting pleasure. I was at a total loss of what to do so I went with what came natural; I leaned forward and took a lick. Brandi was already quite worked up, juicy and succulent to the tongue. She leaned in and began running her hands over my scalp. With Brandi's skirt draped over me, I had an epiphany: I was not alone in this. I grabbed my phone and made a rather interesting phone call, my mouth was working on Brandi as it rang. "Zane?" Leigh said. "Umm, Leigh" I responded as I switched from lips to fingers in Brandi, "I need a favor." "Sure, babe, what is it?" she replied. "I'm, well, shaving a girl's legs and, pubic hairs, hold on, Umm, I have never done this before and I don't know how to do a design," I asked. "What do you have to work with?" Leigh inquired while I dipped in deeply with my grooved tongue, bringing forth a throaty moan from Brandi. "A safety razor, shaving cream, and a moustache trimmer," I answered. "No silly, what does the area you are working with look like; thin, thick, hairy, or sparse?" Leigh asked. "I, oh, hold on," I replied. I turned the phone around, clicked it, and sent a freshly snapped picture. "Zane, did you just, Brandi gasped. "Oh, God!" she then giggled. "You did, didn't you?" I upped my licking game to assuage her worries, which only made her moan louder and rock her hips. "Zane, where are you? What are you doing right now?" Leigh snickered, knowing the answer. "Honest, Leigh, it is school work," I shot back, then "Yes, Brandi, I've brought in a consultant." This brought in more giggling from both sides of the conversation. "Zane, if you can tear yourself away from her muff, start shaving her legs and I'll call you in fifteen minutes with what the girls and I can come up with," Leigh chuckled. I reluctantly left my station beneath Brandi and poured the hot water into a basin with cooler water until it was barely uncomfortably hot. Setting things by Brandi's feet, I grinned at her. "This will be better with the skirt off," I told her. "This will be easier if everything is off," Opal added eagerly, then explained with, "You wouldn't want your shirt or bra to get wet." 'Shirt or bra to get wet?' I doubted that was where Opal's mind was at. Opal wanted a chance to ogle Brandi's naked body before closing in for the kill; my mind ran the same way. I was a tad curious, wondering what Brandi thought of Opal's continued presence but not so much that I was willing to risk the moment for Opal. Using a steamy hot cloth to coat Brandi's legs turned into a really erotic act. Once I covered the right leg, I went back and removed the first compress and applied the shaving cream. Brandi's legs were 'so hairy' I was pretty sure they hadn't been shaved since, this morning; Hell, the damn things were so smooth they were reflecting the candlelight dancing around us before I even started. I was three-quarters up the left leg when Leigh called back. "Hey, Stud, how is your latest victim doing?" Leigh teased me. I popped off a photograph of Brandi below the waist in response. "Lucky bitch," Leigh squealed. "Hey, Zane!" shouted Paris over the connection. A few more "Hey s" came over the phone right after that from girls I couldn't identify. "Come on, girls," Leigh growled playfully to her Kappa Sigma Sorority Sisters, which was followed by a chorus of "Goodnight, good luck, and see you tomorrow." "I'm sending you a rose design that should work for you and it's to scale," Leigh informed me. Sure enough, I looked at my phone and saw there was a beautifully done rose on some girl's pubic mound. It looked very realistic and I told Leigh so. "That's because it is real, Dummy. It is a sister at Colorado State," Leigh responded. "That was nice of her," I told Leigh. Leigh laughed loudly. "Nice? No, we showed her a picture of you and traded a night with you over Spring Break for the picture and the help," Leigh chuckled. "Seriously? I wasn't aware I was that good looking," I sounded incredulous. "That's why we love you, Zane, you are smoking hot but don't act like it; that and your big cock, your dynamite stamina, and that awesome sexual prowess," Leigh faux-sighed over the phone while I lowered my head in shame. I kept shaving, though, because I didn't want Brandi's skin to get cold. "Where am I going to meet my savior?" I asked Leigh. "We are still working that out," Leigh replied. "Tawny doesn't want to give you up for the entire time so we may need to fly a group of them down to Florida when we go." Great, now I was spending Spring Break in Florida, which city, I didn't know yet. "Of course I will honor my commitment to the Kappa Sigma's," I assured Leigh. "I can also help with airfare if needed." "We never doubted you, Zane; now get to work and warm that poor girl up, I mean work her over," giggle, "I mean, do your duty and make her look lovely where it counts," Leigh finished. "Thanks, Leigh, I owe you. Can I get a picture of my muse?" I inquired. "I'll give her your phone number and you two can talk it out," Leigh responded. "I'm okay with that, we should get along; but I'm off now so goodbye," I finished up. I looked up at Brandi and flashed her the picture and let her study it. "That looks cool, and she's a red-head," Brandi noted. Opal snuggled up behind Brandi on the sly and looked over her shoulder. "Well, now we know who to watch out for when we follow Zane down to Spring Break," Opal pointed out, "Or at least we know what she's like down below." I decided that working on Brandi was my mission for the night. A hot compress to her private regions was my opening diversion but as I lay the cloth down, I slipped a hand back to her cunny and slowly began to play with her lips. Brandi lay back on the bed, propped up by her elbows and resting against Opal's thighs and stomach, laying her head between Opal's breasts. Opal was on her knees behind Brandi and was reclining to let Brandi stretch out. As far as I could see, Opal was down to wearing her socks and skirt and that was all. I worked two fingers into Brandi's virgin slit; three strokes in and one up to clip the clit. I waited until Brandi's nipples were both fully erect, perky, and a deep, dark pink. I sprayed out the foam, cut the foam down to a manageable level and with the picture in one hand I began my shaving experiment. God favored Brandi because it turns out I am a prodigy with a small razor. Brandi's design was virtually identical to the girl's from Colorado. She was so enraptured with the whole procedure, she missed Opal's hands slowly sliding down her shoulder to her chest. Opal traced her fingers under Brandi's perky breasts, unnoticed except by me. When I finished, I took Brandi's hand and directed her toward my mirror on my wardrobe. She rose up on her knees and looked over my handiwork and cooed. "Zane," she turned and jumped me, "this is fantastic. All the other girls will be so jealous," Brandi squealed ecstatically. I took her by her knees and drew them toward me until I was back between her legs. "Do you want to go now or is there something more you want me to do?" I asked in a darkly sensual and seductive voice full of passion. Brandi grew quiet and uncertain so I took her tit into my mouth, held it in place, and flicked my tongue over its stiff nipple tip. "Ah, ah, ah, Zane," Brandi moaned. She bit her lip and rolled her head back until she bumped into Opal, who was moving back behind her again. "Hey," Brandi responded dreamily to Opal, as if suddenly remembering she was with us. "Hey, yourself," Opal purred in return. She moved a hand between Brandi's torso and the arm she was using to support her reclining figure, to the side of Brandi's breast. I pressed one hand between Brandi's legs and began rubbing that spot right above her hooded clit, bringing about further sexual confusion on her part. She started panting and licking her lips while shifting her gaze from my eyes to Opal's. Finally, her lips remained open and Opal knew it was the moment to breach the space between them. Brandi stiffened and I waited for her to rebel but when she didn't, I compounded the pleasure of her embrace with Opal by increasing my teasing and pulling with my teeth on her nipple as well as rubbing one finger around her clit and slipping it into her hot cunt. That did the trick because Brandi freed one supporting arm up and wrapped her hand around Opal's head and pulled her deeper into their embrace. For her part, Opal matched Brandi's passion with unleashed desire, stroking her hand around from the side of her breast into lazy circles closing in on the nipple. We kept this up for several minutes until Brandi began squirming. She ended up flopping onto her back with Opal splayed out to the side on her stomach, still kissing her lips and face. Instead of following Brandi's body up, I returned to her sweet cunt and led off with a rapid tongue-fucking that brought a quiver to her thighs almost immediately. "Oh, Christ," Brandi gasped as she arched up once, then twice, before desperately grasping my pillow and screaming into it. Great, another screamer; but at least this outcry was shrill and tingled the toes instead of shattering eardrums. I sat back on my haunches as Brandi continued to twist and writhe on the bed. Opal gently tickled Brandi's nipples, keeping Brandi's orgasm going on and on, but I saw the opportunity in this. I located an unused hot compress to clean my face then snuck over to Opal and ran a hand along her ankle. It took Opal less than a second to judge my intentions and eagerly spread her legs to allow me in. I had played with Opal before; she tasted great and responded with barely constrained excitement every time. I began placing little kisses along her inner thighs, half way up from her knees. By the time I placed the tip of my tongue on the junction between her thigh and cunt, she relented in her assault on Brandi and lay back fully on the bed. For nearly a minute the room was filled with the faint echoes of Brandi and Opal breathing heavy and my licking and lapping Opal's cunt; she was really juicy and thick to the tongue. "Hey," Brandi said in a sultry voice. I peeked up and saw she had rolled onto her side and was looking down at Opal with a romantic gleam in her eye. "Umm, Opal moaned with a serene smile on her lips, a very happy girl. "Your nipples are very puffy," Brandi continued as she poked Opal's left nipple with her fingertip. Opal answered that with a coaxing touch to Brandi's stomach along the bikini line. "Can I?" Brandi asked Opal, her eyes flitting from Opal's eyes to her breast. Opal nodded. Brandi engulfed the top of Opal's breast with one 'pop' sound. The way her cheeks moved around, Brandi was whirling around both flesh and nipple in a rapid motion. Opal's other hand reached over and put gentle pressure on the back of Brandi's head. "That's a good girl," Opal cooed. Brandi looked up, beamed affection at Opal (so I was later told), and switched to the farther nipple. I slowly pushed Opals legs up by the back of her knees and lengthened my tongue lashing from above the clit to the tip of her anus, which made Opal squeal and shiver. "Oh, I'm so loving this school year," Opal exclaimed with bated breath. "Me too," nipple-lick, nipple-lick, "Slurp, slurp, so good," Brandi added. Opal began losing the ability to talk coherently, drew her legs so far back she was pressing Brandi into her, and began thrusting her hips up to my mouth. I switched my full attention to sucking and nibbling her clit and slipping two fingers into her tight virgin cunt. "Hey!" Brandi gulped as Opal grabbed her by the shoulders and began pulling her up. Brandi was clearly confused so I took a moment to see if I could help. Opal was trying to maneuver Brandi into a kneeling position, "Sit on her face, Brandi," I guessed. "She wants to lick your cunt." Brandi looked back at me somewhat uncertainly, to which I responded with a reassuring look; then she giggled and started straddling Opal's face. Opal went after Brandi so hard and fast the girl yelped and bucked up, but Opal's grip on her thighs allowed her to keep her lips locked tightly on Brandi's cunt. "Ayaya!" Brandi gasped out as Opal licked furiously and Brandi rocked back and forth like a nude princess doing dressage. I let Opal's legs come down slightly because I discovered another task for my hands. With my left hand I reached underneath Opal's thighs and began teasing her butthole. I used my right to part Brandi's cheeks and do the same with hers. Brandi looked over her shoulder, gave me a smile, and kept rocking. Opal trembled slightly but pushed her reservations aside. The first hint of anal penetration kicked Opal over the edge and she had a whole-body seizure as her orgasm rocked through the three of us. Brandi pulsated even harder on Opal's convulsing face, virtually propelling my first finger's digit up her ass. She squealed delightfully. "Zane, that's wonderful!" she screamed. "Fuck me! Fuck me! Yes!" and she went off, with no pillow to shelter our environs this time. Brandi toppled over and I had to grab her leg to stop her from tumbling off the bed and onto the floor. She was still gasping and panting too much to articulate a response, though thankfully she didn't struggle. I sat there stretched out for several seconds before Opal became aware enough to help me pull Brandi back to safety. I sorted Brandi out to one side with Opal on the other and settled between them, all of us staring at the ceiling in various states of sexual recharge. "Is everyone okay?" I managed to ask after a few deep breaths. "No," Opal murmured. I groaned, imagining what else I would have to do to get her to go to bed when Opal reached out and stroked my cock. "Someone hasn't gotten what they've wanted tonight," Opal purred as she rolled up onto an elbow and looked down on me. I let her work me over for a while but when I made a move toward her own love box, she slapped my hand away. "No, Zane," she scolded me. "I'd like to be able to walk to my room, not crawl, so behave." As I nursed my slapped wrist, I noticed that Brandi had rolled over and was looking down at me and what Opal had returned to doing to me. "I, can I?" Brandi asked tentatively, extending a hand to my member. "Sure," I smiled warmly. Brandi touched it, drew away rapidly, then touched it once, twice, and on the third effort managed to wrap her hand around my shaft. "It is so warm, no, hot, and throbbing. I've never held one before," she whispered in an almost worshipful moan. "Our boy Zane is actually quite big," Opal grinned like a predatory cat. "You've," gulp, "held a few cocks?" Brandi wondered. "No. But several of us girls measured him while he was, preoccupied and checked online for references. He definitely qualifies as larger than most," Opal chuckled playfully. "You measured me in the shower?" I grumbled indignantly. I would have been angrier except that as Opal stroked up my cock, she would intertwine her fingers with Brandi's stationary hold, rub my cockhead, then stroked back down. Fuck, that was awesome. Somewhere along the way Brandi began pumping the top of my cock while Opal kept up on the bottom. Sometimes when you don't imagine life can take you any higher, you get tossed a stepladder. Opal leaned in and licked the slit of my knob. Three passes of the tongue later, Brandi leaned in and gave it a try. Do you know you can tell the differences in the girl by the texture of her tongue? I'm learning new stuff every day (and night). I only exited my early bliss when I felt Opal's mouth engulf me and take in an inch, displacing Brandi's hand. Opal moved her head up and down in a slow, steady, slick motion with a tongue that had advanced rapidly in proficiency in the past week. I almost missed Opal snaking a hand to the top of Brandi's head and bringing her down within striking distance. Brandi probably didn't know she was sticking her tongue out and licking her lips with sensual grace mixed with school girl innocence. In a move that would have made the Women's 2008 Soccer Team proud, Opal transitioned Brandi to her first taste of cock effortlessly and didn't need to press the new girl's head down. Brandi hovered there, her lips over the cockhead and her tongue lifeless. Her eyes flashed to Opal, then to me, begging for guidance. "Roll your tongue around the head," Opal counsels her, "while going down a little further, until you are about to gag." Brandi proceeded to do just that and I had to admit she was really enthusiastic. "Umph humf " she gurgled as she took almost half of me into her steamy mouth, brushing the back of her throat. "What was that?" Opal teased her as she stroked Brandi's hair and twirled a lock around her finger. Brandi reluctantly pulled off, yet managed to do it with an angelic cast to her aura. "I thought this would be gross but cock-sucking is wonderful. I want to gobble Zane all up," Brandi bubbled, "Do you think I can swallow all of him?" "Slow down, cowgirl!" Opal giggled. "No teeth," I cautioned her. I didn't want to sound like a wimp but I'm seriously attached to my cock; it has gotten me out of trouble more times than I can count. I owe it to Zany Zane to keep him safe. "Tell me if I'm doing something wrong," Brandi peeked at me coyly. Before I could rummage up a reply, she pursed her lips and went down on me again. She bobbed up and down repeatedly and after a while, Opal joined in by pumping the bottom of my shaft and fondling my nuts. Brandi gagged again and again but kept charging back down for more until I felt her throat's embrace of my cock tighten and my girth slip farther down. Not to be outdone, Opal deemed it time to nestle her head against Brandi's cheek and suck in one of my balls, licking and sucking on my ball sack. She lifted my leg aside and over her shoulder so she could slide around for better access. Hell, I would have twisted myself into a pretzel for the sensations those two girls were giving me and the only other thing I could think was, this was them at the beginner's level. What would experience bring? When Opal began rubbing against my anal ring, I could feel my control slipping, a red haze of orgasmic anticipation overwhelming everything else. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, I'm going to cum!" I cried out. Brandi bobbed, oblivious to the implications for several more seconds. "Brandi," Opal warned her urgently, "he's about to shoot his semen down your throat!" That caused Brandi to freeze up, begin to panic, and start gagging once more. She popped up, her teeth scrapping over my angry purple head, causing me to yelp. "Oh, God, what do I do?" Brandi pleaded. "Put your mouth over his head, suck lightly, and stroke him rapidly with your hand," Opal guided her. Opal caught my surprised look so she explained. "The Science Club has an illegal internet hook-up the school doesn't monitor. A few of us looked up blowjob techniques." Brandi came down on me with remarkable alacrity and a touch made more intriguing by her rapid, painful departure. Then it occurred to me: we have a Science Club? "Atta girl," Opal sighed with some relief. She'd blown me once before but it had been, admittedly, her first time. "All, most, there," I growled to Brandi. My hips began micro-thrusts up and Brandi became more vigorous. "Get ready," Opal grinned. "Now swallow like crazy, and it is a creamy/salty taste so don't freak out." "Cumming!" I growled, and I did. Brandi choked for an instant but then I felt her throat constrictions as she gulped my seed down and rolled my cockhead with her tongue. Six times I shot off strongly, once or twice as twitches, before I sank down onto my bed and started breathing at something resembling a normal rate. Brandi sat back before I was totally done, savoring the taste of me in her mouth. Opal guided herself to my still hard cock and began lapping up the remains of my semen and Brandi's copious saliva. "When can you be ready again!" chirped Brandi. Blink. Opal chuckled around my rod, clearly amused with Brandi's evolution to a more sexually liberated mindset. She then sat up and began licking my semen that was still around Brandi's lips and dripping down her chin, I gotta do this again! "Give me a few seconds, Brandi," I joked, as I wormed my way up toward my pillow and collapsed. "Groan, we should also consider going to bed sometime before sunrise," Opal muttered only half-jokingly. The two girls cuddled up with me, Brandi in the middle, trading kisses back and forth between Opal and I. I reached across her and tantalized one of Opal's nipples, causing her to close her eyes and bite her lower lip. "When can we get together like this again?" Brandi sighed happily, as she pushed her heart-shaped ass against my crotch and stroked Opal's cheek and temple. "At 5:45 in the morning Zane has shower time and anything goes. So if you want to get together then, Opal hinted seductively. Brandi bit her finger like the lovely little slut-angel persona she had suddenly embraced. "What's next, Brandi wondered, "for us, sexually?" "I think bedrest is next," I told her. "I think she means experimenting, and if I know Zane," Opal winked, "he'll get behind the situation." I groaned at the play on words but Brandi was confused. "This isn't the time," I sighed, feeling the fatigue creeping in. "Oh, come on," Brandi begged. "Well, I've heard certain Seniors talking about Zane, and how he pounds that big cock up their asses," Opal purred with feline seductiveness. Brandi shivered, then flexed her ass around my hardening cock. "That," she worried while squeezing my cock with her ass cheeks, ", up my ass, that's scary," Brandi whimpered. "I've never done it before but I hear those girls really love it," Opal tantalized Brandi, "that thick cock pushing deep into you, filling you up, his hips pounding down on your ass, while he kisses you on the neck and ear, his hot breath," Brandi began rubbing her cunt, "on your neck, that rod pumping in and out, and Opal started laughing. Brandi began breathing heavy, her heart rate quickened and her hand picked up its rhythm. "Imagine all that heat that was in your mouth, in your ass instead, burning you up and stretching you out until you just can't take anymore, and then, Opal paused for effect ", he tells you he's halfway in." Brandi rolled over and looked at me with wide eyes, clearly in need, clearly ready to ask me to fuck her ass then and there, and my phone rang. Sold Out and a Price to be Paid "Zane Braxton?" an unknown female voice inquired. "Sure is; Colorado State?" I guessed. The woman gave a playful chuckle. "Brianna Kincaid," she filled me in; her accent was a bit off but I couldn't place it. "Well, did you like what you saw?" "I can't believe you actually asked me that," I laughed, "but since you want some well-deserved flattery, I'll tell you that what I saw was damn sexy, but, well, " "Yes?" she questioned. "It made me wonder how great you must taste, and how your flush lips would feel along the tip of my tongue, you know, the way they are when you make that first tentative contact," I explained. "Ah, fuck," she moaned, "that's teasing, damn it!" "Is it teasing if I plan to deliver?" I countered. "Do you promise to make me cry your name out like Sister Leigh did?" she upped the ante. "Huh? What? Am I missing something here?" I evaded. "Did the Lancaster chapter house tell you what they sent out?" Brianna questioned me. "They said they sent a picture," I replied, which caused Brianna to laugh uproariously. "Damn. They sent out an edited session of you with Leigh, and then you, Leigh, and Paris," she chortled. "I, well, let me explain," I stammered. "Wait, video too?" "Yes. Leigh's webcam was on," Brianna snickered. "She claims it was accidental." Suddenly the whole 'dunking me in the pool' thing was a bunch more suspicious. "It was really nice of you, trying to take the fall for those two, I mean Paris and Leigh, with their President. It shows you can be a real gentleman." "Who did she share this with?" I inquired fearfully. "Every chapter house in North America," Brianna said with unbridled mirth. My silence must have been deafening because, "Zane, did we break you?" "No," I sighed, "it is just that I go to a Christian School and this may become a problem." "Christian School, please tell me it is a college of some kind," Brianna pleaded. "For that matter, please tell me you are at least eighteen." "My school is Freedom Fellowship University here in Lancaster," I assured her, "and I'm eighteen. I have been for a few months." "Thank God. I was afraid that I had broken the law," she sighed. "So is there anything you want to know about me?" "What's your major? Do you have someone in your life? What year are you in college?" I inquired. "You don't want a picture or to know my age?" she asked with some curiosity. "Well, age isn't really a factor for me, unless you are some kind of child prodigy, you should be legal. As for a picture, not really, because if you see me and don't want to hook up, there is no harm, no foul," I outlined. There was a pause on her part. "Zane, where did you say you went to school?" she asked suspiciously, leading me to believe I was the victim of an internet search. "FFU. And I know it is an All-Girls School but I am a student here. It is a long story but Leigh and Tawny can verify it," I swore. "Wow, what is it like?" Brianna questioned. "Me and over nine hundred women? It is exhausting, plus the Administration wants me gone so my school days are full of excitement," I confessed. "So what exactly were you doing with that young lady I helped out tonight, anyway?" she asked. "We have a quaint little tradition here at FFU called Handmaiden's Duty. It requires any freshmen to do any task that a more senior student asks, baring anything actually damaging. Freshmen are safe in classrooms and dorm rooms," I related. "So, you end up doing things like shaving a girl's legs, or shaving her muff in a rose design, that's classic," Brianna murmured appreciatively. "And here I was afraid you were a whore." "I prefer the term 'slut' over 'whore,' but I am a slut. I love women, and I love learning about a woman's body, how special it is, unique and exquisite," I told her. "Damn, you sound sincere," she said with compassion. "That is because I am," I replied honestly. "Okay, here you go," she stated, and a picture arrived in my box. My eyes must have bugged because there were giggles on either side of me. "Brianna, I'm afraid your eyes will steal my soul," I whispered. "They are so deep and green, like an angry, rich sea whipped by a storm." "First off, wow, that's a hell of a sweet thing to tell a girl," she sighed sexually. "Second, who are you with? Or at least tell me how many girls you are with." "I call 'em like I see 'em, and I leave a woman's identity in her own keeping so it's not something for me to reveal," I responded, trying to be chivalrous. "Opal!" called out Opal (funny how that works), and tilting herself into view. "Brandi," my second bed-buddy added with a bit more decorum and only showing her head. "They sound cheerful, I mean, Opal and Brandi, you sound cheerful. How is my boy Zane doing tonight?" Brianna called out. "Thank you for your help tonight, but to set the record straight, he's our boy," Opal corrected her. "His work looks great," Brandi jumped in, then grabbed my phone, lowered it, and took a pic of my handiwork on her body. "Neat, huh?" "That is so cool!" Brianna reacted to the view she was presented with. "It looks just like mine. Are you sure this was his first effort? If so, he's got talent." "This was my first effort, I swear," I defended my creation and retrieved my phone. "Quiet, Zane, the ladies are talking," Opal mocked me. "Oh? Oh, hell no!" I roared at Opal. I dropped the phone and leapt on her while she squeaked and tried to roll away off the bed. I caught her and we struggled, me on top. Opal beat me with her fists but it was more play fighting than real because she couldn't stop laughing. "What's going on?" Brianna shouted. "Come on, somebody, show me what he's doing to her?" Brandi picked up the phone and swung it toward us. I had Opal pressed under me, her fists pinned to the side by my hands, and my hips keeping her legs apart. Her legs were wrapped over my hips, her heels kicking into my rump. While Opal's playful lilt rang out I was busy nibbling her neck, which was turning that lilt into deeper moans. Brandi recorded a short video, including one of her waving 'Hi' for Brianna's later use. "There you go," Brandi grinned. "Holy Crap, he's living his life in a porno," Brianna exploded with laughter. "Hey, Adele, come look at this!" I prayed that Adele was her roommate and not someone she barely knew who was passing down the street. "Whoa!" a different voice came on seconds later,

Sycamore Hill Church Podcast - Hockessin Campus
Spirit-Filled: Groaning of the Spirit (Romans 8:22-28; Acts 16)

Sycamore Hill Church Podcast - Hockessin Campus

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2025 42:57


In the midst of difficulty, can we receive the good through the groaning? Can we walk with the Spirit who advocates for us in perfect alignment with God's will?

Christ Church NC's Sermon Series
25-10-05_How We Groan

Christ Church NC's Sermon Series

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2025 37:51


Romans 8

BecomeNew.Me
13. We Should Groan, Not Grumble

BecomeNew.Me

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2025 14:45


Paul calls the Philippians to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling,” for God is already at work within them. The life that shines is not grumbling or self-promoting but open to God's Spirit. John contrasts grumbling vs. groaning, shows how Moses' radiant face came from being with God, and ends with the blessing: “The Lord make His face shine upon you.” To shine is to live from God's shining face turned toward us.00:00 — What does it mean to shine with inner light?00:32 — Why some people radiate joy and gratitude01:45 — How Philippians 2 explains shining02:17 — What does “work out your salvation” mean?03:00 — Is spiritual life a motorboat, raft, or sailboat?04:03 — What does “fear and trembling” really mean?05:13 — Do everything without grumbling06:14 — What's the difference between grumbling and groaning?07:25 — Why groaning invites God but grumbling shuts Him out08:18 — Shine like stars in a dark world09:12 — How Moses' face shone after meeting God11:15 — What it means that God's face shines on you13:02 — Today is your day to shineBecome New is here to help you grow spiritually one day at a time.TEXT US at 855-888-0444EMAIL US at connect@becomenew.comGET OUR WEEKDAY EMAILS WITH EXTRA GOODIES at becomenew.com/subscribeGET A TEXT REMINDER FOR NEW VIDEOS: text BECOME to 855-888-0444SEND US PRAYER REQUESTS: via text or email; we'll send you a written prayer from our team

Aunty Donna Podcast
The Moan & Groan Phantom Zone Zone

Aunty Donna Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2025 39:52


An attempt at Kris Kringle with Tom. LINKS Our DREM World Tour has started! Buy tickets here https://tour.auntydonna.com/ Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/ Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daily Dad Jokes
[No Laughter Version] National Couple's Day! Dad jokes to make your partner groan! 18 August 2025

Daily Dad Jokes

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2025 7:59


Daily Dad Jokes (18 Aug 2025) The official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic button now available on Amazon. The perfect gift for dad! Click here here to view! Email Newsletter: Looking for more dad joke humor to share? Then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly round-up of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs, and groans, and sign up today! Click here to subscribe! Listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast here: https://dailydadjokespodcast.com/ or search "Daily Dad Jokes" in your podcast app. Interested in Business and Finance news? Then listen to our sister show: The Daily Business and Finance Show. Check out the website here or search "Daily Business and Finance Show" in your podcast app. Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: Ok-Ingenuity4838, Masselein, Joscarbuck, vysken, Rocket_Lawn-Chair, Emergency_Ability731, 1Blue3Brown, Make_the_music_stop, your_dog_is_gay_, child_yeeter86699345, heyandy1, wimple007, boxymcboxbox, Not_donald-trump, Icy_Debate_9878, elykskroob, , dimer0, ilikesidehugs, FinalCaveat, TheLovelornFool, porichoygupto, throwawayreddit73, Negative-Ad-6533, Eleventhearlofmar, berkleysquare, ilikesidehugs, porichoygupto, TheSFG832, izacktorres, CornFlaek46, Busy-Opportunity-868, faceoftheancients, ilikesidehugs Subscribe to this podcast via: iHeartMedia Spotify iTunes Google Podcasts YouTube Channel Social media: Instagram Facebook Twitter TikTok Discord Interested in advertising or sponsoring our show? Contact us at mediasales@klassicstudios.com Produced by Klassic Studios using AutoGen Podcast technology (http://klassicstudios.com/autogen-podcasts/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daily Dad Jokes
National Couple's Day! Dad jokes to make your partner groan! 18 August 2025

Daily Dad Jokes

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2025 10:28


Daily Dad Jokes (18 Aug 2025) The official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic button now available on Amazon. The perfect gift for dad! Click here here to view! Email Newsletter: Looking for more dad joke humor to share? Then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly round-up of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs, and groans, and sign up today! Click here to subscribe! Listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast here: https://dailydadjokespodcast.com/ or search "Daily Dad Jokes" in your podcast app. Interested in Business and Finance news? Then listen to our sister show: The Daily Business and Finance Show. Check out the website here or search "Daily Business and Finance Show" in your podcast app. Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: Ok-Ingenuity4838, Masselein, Joscarbuck, vysken, Rocket_Lawn-Chair, Emergency_Ability731, 1Blue3Brown, Make_the_music_stop, your_dog_is_gay_, child_yeeter86699345, heyandy1, wimple007, boxymcboxbox, Not_donald-trump, Icy_Debate_9878, elykskroob, , dimer0, ilikesidehugs, FinalCaveat, TheLovelornFool, porichoygupto, throwawayreddit73, Negative-Ad-6533, Eleventhearlofmar, berkleysquare, ilikesidehugs, porichoygupto, TheSFG832, izacktorres, CornFlaek46, Busy-Opportunity-868, faceoftheancients, ilikesidehugs Subscribe to this podcast via: iHeartMedia Spotify iTunes Google Podcasts YouTube Channel Social media: Instagram Facebook Twitter TikTok Discord Interested in advertising or sponsoring our show? Contact us at mediasales@klassicstudios.com Produced by Klassic Studios using AutoGen Podcast technology (http://klassicstudios.com/autogen-podcasts/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good News Church – Yukon, OK
Groan, but Don't Grumble

Good News Church – Yukon, OK

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2025 41:43


Life will bring seasons of testing, just as it did for Israel in the wilderness and for Jesus in the desert. Groaning before God is an honest expression of our need, but grumbling reveals distrust in His provision. This message challenges us to bring our struggles to the Lord in faith rather than complaint, trusting His goodness even in the hardest trials.

CIL CHURCH - Sermons
The Groan of Communal Suffering - Audio

CIL CHURCH - Sermons

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2025 42:10


In the aftermaths of the central Texas floods, Aaron helps us process suffering and points us to a better future.

CIL.CHURCH - Sermons
The Groan of Communal Suffering

CIL.CHURCH - Sermons

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2025 42:10


In the aftermaths of the central Texas floods, Aaron helps us process suffering and points us to a better future.

The Exchange Church
The Groan before the Throne (Romans 8:18-27)

The Exchange Church

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2025 44:28


The Groan before the Throne (Romans 8:18-27) by Josiah Graves

King's Chapel FL
Sermon | Groan to Glory | June 22, 2025 Church Service

King's Chapel FL

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2025 34:15


Romans: The Transforming Power of the Gospel, Pt. 13 — Groan to GloryRomans 8:18–27 | King's Chapel Live StreamLet's be honest—sometimes life is heavy.In Romans 8:18–27, Paul speaks directly to that feeling. He reminds us that while pain, disappointment, and waiting are real, they're not the whole story. There's something greater coming—and even our groaning points toward it.This message is for anyone who feels stuck in the “in between”—longing for healing, wholeness, or just a break from the weight of it all.In this week's passage, we see:- That the suffering we face now isn't worth comparing to what's coming- How creation itself is groaning for restoration- How we groan inwardly, longing for redemption- And how the Holy Spirit groans with us and for us, interceding in our weaknessThe Christian life doesn't ignore pain—it gives us hope right in the middle of it. And even when we don't know what to pray, the Spirit of God is already praying for us.

Living Word Audio Podcast
Grace Unveiled 36 | The Groan Before the Glory | Jim Hammond | LWCC

Living Word Audio Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2025 58:44


Hey there, Welcome to Living Word! We're so glad you're here with us. If you find this message inspiring, don't forget to hit that like button and subscribe for more amazing content. We've got a lineup of guest speakers, pastors, and engaging discussions with our awesome community members coming your way. Let's dive in together! Our Links–• Join The Prayer Movement!: https://theprayermovement.com• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livingwordmn• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livingwordmn• Stay up to date with all things LWCC at https://www.LWCC.org• Join our Online Church community here: https://www.lwcc.org/onlinechurch• Give online: https://www.lwcc.org/give/• If you recently committed your life to God, we'd like to give you a free eBook to help you in your spiritual journey. Click here to download: https://www.lwcc.org/nextsteps/#LivingWord #ChurchSermon #Worship

A Moment with Joni Eareckson Tada
Our Bodies Are Temporary

A Moment with Joni Eareckson Tada

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2025 0:59


Hear why your body is like a tent! -------- Thank you for listening! Your support of Joni and Friends helps make this show possible.     Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Become part of the global movement today at www.joniandfriends.org   Find more encouragement on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube.

SONNETCAST – William Shakespeare's Sonnets Recited, Revealed, Relived
Sonnet 133: Beshrew That Heart That Makes My Heart to Groan

SONNETCAST – William Shakespeare's Sonnets Recited, Revealed, Relived

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2025 37:51


In his astonishingly frank Sonnet 133 William Shakespeare attempts to come to terms with the fact that his young lover is also having an affair with his mistress. The sonnet in one fell swoop answers two principal questions: first, what 'black deeds' of his Dark Lady's he may be referring to in the closing couplet of Sonnet 131, and second, who the woman might be that appears in the crisis which besets his relationship with the young man between Sonnets 33 and 42. And while there is of course no external, cast-iron proof that these sonnets do constellate to form a coherent picture, Sonnet 133 is in fact only the first of several sonnets to strongly suggest they do. What it leaves no doubt about, and what subsequent sonnets will make even more explicitly clear, is that William Shakespeare is for the second time in the collection talking about a relationship that has turned triangular.

gregrainsmedia's podcast
2025-04-27 (AM) In this we groan

gregrainsmedia's podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2025 28:46


In this we groan I. Groans from creation II. Redemption of the body III.Oppose wicked rulers IV. Acknowledge suffering V.  Need deliverance

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret
2: Titus Groan Pt. 2 (Emotional About Pinecones)

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2025 123:10


This week, part 2 of our recap of ‘Titus Groan'.Smoke! Ribbons! A Picnic!Find us on the internet:BlueSky: @makeyefretpod.bsky.socialInstagram: @TheTruthShallMakeYeFretFacebook: @TheTruthShallMakeYeFretEmail: thetruthshallmakeyefretpod@gmail.comPatreon: www.patreon.com/thetruthshallmakeyefretDiscord: https://discord.gg/29wMyuDHGP Want to follow your hosts and their internet doings? Follow Joanna on BlueSky @2hatsjo and follow Francine @francibambi Things we blathered on about:Announcing the Discworld Graphic Novel Universe - Terry Pratchett Genre Creators for Trans Rights in the UK and SA - 32 AuctionsThe Last of Us: S2, E1 - "Future Days" - A Storm of Spoilers on Audioboom ADUMBRATE Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster The Crowborough Players event tickets from TicketSource Music: Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.com  

Daily Dad Jokes
Dad Jokes Explained | Graeme Klass explains why these 23 dad jokes are so groan-worthy.

Daily Dad Jokes

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2025 14:30 Transcription Available


Dad Jokes Explained Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: Fourwindsgone, Left-Distribution-13, reverendrambo, Sweet_molly19, impiousPunster, Jesse_Bitchman, Left-Distribution-13, GiborDesign, mrl33602, Left-Distribution-13, fatfridaylunch, GiborDesign, TnBluesman, Jesse_Bitchman, TooOldToBePunk, GiborDesign, TooOldToBePunk, PersonWalker, Old-Assignment-1458, CitizenOfTheWorld42, wizzardious, Dyrogitory, so-bored78 Explanations from OpenAI ChatGPT API with proprietary prompts. This podcast is produced by Klassic Studios See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Vintage Church NOLA Podcast
Will Everything Sad Come Untrue?

Vintage Church NOLA Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 32:06


Will everything sad come untrue? The resurrection of Jesus guarantees everything sad will come untrue! Groan for it. Wait for it! Hope for it!For series resources and media, visit https://vintagechurchnola.com/series/easter-2025/#Welcome2Vintage #Sermon #Easter #Resurrection #Jesus #Groan #Wait #Hope

The Neighbourhood Rewatch
In Groan Toe Nell

The Neighbourhood Rewatch

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2025 79:58


This week JK and Adam discuss the week on Ramsay Street as well as ingrown toenails, misplaced grassing and fast-track careers.If you would like to support the podcast, you could always leave a nice 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyOR you can subscribe to our Patreon for just £1 a month (plus VAT) and receive:Early access to the ad free video and audio versions of the podcastExclusive bonus episodesAccess to our Patreon Community Chat Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/the-neighbourhood-rewatch. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret
1: Titus Groan Pt. 1 (In Which We Shoulders)

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2025 119:47


The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret is a podcast in which your hosts, Joanna Hagan and Francine Carrel have emerged from Discworld and are now exploring the worlds of speculative fiction.This week, we enter Gormenghast with Part 1 of our recap of Mervyn Peake's ‘Titus Groan'...Ribs! Sunlight! Slowly-Growing Insanity! Find us on the internet:BlueSky: @makeyefretpod.bsky.social (not Twitter any more - included in outro through force of habit)Instagram: @TheTruthShallMakeYeFretFacebook: @TheTruthShallMakeYeFretEmail: thetruthshallmakeyefretpod@gmail.comPatreon: www.patreon.com/thetruthshallmakeyefretDiscord: https://discord.gg/29wMyuDHGP Want to follow your hosts and their internet doings? Follow Joanna on BlueSky @2hatsjo and follow Francine @francibambi Things we blathered on about:Apotropaic magic - WikipediaThe Rectory in Red - FolkLandsPeake Studies [Peter Winnington]Collected Articles on Mervyn Peake [Peter Winnington] An Excellence of Peake - Fantastic Metropolis [Michael Moorcock's article] A profusion of Peake – { feuilleton }  Tolkien vs Lewis: Allegory - R.E. Parrish Comics on tumblr Steerpike illustration by Mervyn PeakeFuschia illustration by Mervyn Peake  Radial Symmetry ("The Hottest Guy on Campus") - R. E. Parrish Comics on tumblr  Music: Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.com

Trend Lightly
Chappell Groan and Parental Regret

Trend Lightly

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2025 116:50


GET TICKETS TO THE LA LIVE SHOW ON 5/8 AND THE BOSTON LIVE SHOW 6/25 AND 6/26 Chappell Roan appeared on Call Her Daddy and the discourse is discoursing, Justin Bieber's social media activity has fans and gossip hounds concerned, Ethan Klein got a bizarre tattoo to honor his wife. On The Afters: Malicious Compliance wigs, Andrew Tate's ex-girlfriend speaks up about facing physical and emotional abuse during their relationship LINKS Justin Bieber Justin Bieber went live on Instagram and played some new music on Saturday night More of Justin's live Chappell Roan  Chappell Roan went on Call Her Daddy and stuck her foot in her mouth about politics Chappell Roan motherhood discourse Ethan Klein  Ethan Klein's crash out continues… and he just got the ugliest tattoo of his wife, Hila  Even the h3 sub isn't totally supportive of the tattoo Follow us on TikTok, Instagram and Twitter Find more of Molly's stuff Find more of Tiffany's stuff

ExplicitNovels
Cáel Defeats The Illuminati: Part 11

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2025


Vincent, Buffy and other family matter.Book 3 in 18 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. It is selfish to believe that your family will always love you. At some point you will be asked to earn it The main front was stabilizing. The 2nd Army was in tough shape though all three divisions were still in the fight. The 1st Army's 2nd and 9th Divisions had corked up the advances out of Cambodia. As soon as night fell, they would maneuver the majority of the 2nd Division to crush the Alliance forces north of Bangkok. The rioters would be crushed tomorrow morning. They would survive.This realization came too late to them. The rot of fear had infected the 1st Army, 1st Division and the police force commands. Of more importance, a small group of secretive individuals convinced two senior Thai officers that something had to be done before the city fell, or the Prime Minister reasserted control over the city.Those two conspirators had the same problem as the Loyalists, enemy troops and protestors in the street. Those officers had no way to contact the crucial enemy commanders, but they knew who did, the Indian Navy. Surreptitiously, they contacted the Indian Navy's Expeditionary Fleet. The fleet's Admiral quickly put them in touch with the Alliance Command Authority and within two hours, a deal was made.The Great Khan would stop the Alliance offensive if the King of Thailand made a public appeal, no strings attached. This new group of rebels and the Alliance worked out the path they needed to take to reach the King so that the Alliance forces were out of the way and no planes, or helicopter attacked their formations. They even had a TV station that would broadcast the King's speech ending the conflict. All they needed was nightfall.And that was the true story of how the counter-coup was pulled off, how the King of Thailand was able to talk to the Great Khan and how the Thai government was overthrown. In the final analysis, the Loyalist hadn't fallen before the might of the Alliance. They were done in by a tiny number of Black Lotus operative almost no one knew existed, with a small amount of assistance from JIKIT."No wonder the Seven Pillars has never been able to wipe out these guys," Addison yawned. "They are slippery as eels and thrice as lethal. I am glad they are on our side." Several sets of eyes looked at her skeptically. "I mean, I am glad we are currently working toward the same goals."Thus,"I suggest we all get some sleep," Addison declared as she stood up and stretched.Odette was comfortably asleep, so I curled her up and carried her to the elevator. I wanted to go home and forget that I had lost any semblance of a normal life. I didn't know what was worse; me doing the shit I was doing, or me understanding what I was doing. Juanita had gone down ahead of us to pull the car around to the front.Chaz, Pamela, Odette and I went down in the first wave of the exodus from the workplace. The door opened on the ground floor. I wasn't the first person to notice her. My reflexes had improved to the point I had a moment to recognize her before the people around me sprang into action.Pamela side-stepped to the right, pistol mystically appearing in her two-hand grip. Chaz, Chaz bore Odette and me to the ground. His level of dedication astonished me. He was shielding us with his body. From what, I hadn't been able to determine."Deadman switch," one of my aunts stated. "I want to talk with Cáel." The voice had a stressed tenor to it."Back outside," Pamela simmered."No.""Chaz, what is going on?" I asked him. He hadn't moved and wasn't letting me wiggle around to see."Explosive vest," he responded coolly. That's right. Chaz was shielding Odette and me with his body.That is what I found astonishing, his desire to give his life for me. His expectation that Pamela could kill the threat while he was currently occupied was understandable."We seem to be at an impasse," Pamela edged further away.She wasn't avoiding the blast radius. That was impossible in this lobby. No, if it came to firing, she was making it easier for Chaz to get a shot off since the shooter couldn't cover both angles of attack."Let me talk to him," my aunt insisted. This made no sense."Chaz, let me deal with this," I told my bodyguard."Are you sure?" he questioned."Not really. As Pamela said, she's not going to let any of us leave until she talks to me and if you kill her, she kills all of you." Chaz let me stand.Odette was just awakening to the threat. Chaz rose to stand by my side. (Sadly, Odette didn't rate him dying for her.) I prayed I didn't fuck this up."Cáel, is that really you?" the women with green eyes and red hair asked me. She sounded desperate, which would explain the suicide vest."Yeah, which one are, Mom?"{9:10 pm, Tuesday, September 2nd ~ 6 Days to go}"Yes, I'm Sibeal. Are you my son?""Do you mean   No! Grandfather Cáel hasn't supplanted my spirit with his own," I took a deep breath. "I'm not sure how I can convince you of this.""Do you miss your Father?" she queried."Yes," I murmured."Ahh Cáel, you are still my son. Thank all that is divine," she sighed."Care to deactivate the vest now?" Pamela suggested."Do you promise not to shoot me? You two, and the one sneaking up on me from behind." She meant Juanita, who had sensed the danger and exited the car."You are three kinds of crazy, so I'm not making any guarantees," Pamela answered."Pamela   Chaz, I really think she is my mother. And I assume she is here to kill Cáel O'Shea, not me," I interjected. I still wasn't leaving Chaz' side. "Please don't kill her.""No guarantees," Chaz affirmed."She's his mother," Odette chimed in. "If it was anyone else, they would be in a cloud of bodyguards, not alone.""Here is the deal, Mom. You deactivate the vest, then we will talk. Otherwise, I'm taking my security's advice and backing the fuck out of here.""Okay," she nodded. "It's a fake. I'm upset, but not enough to be suicidal. I wanted to see what you would do. Father would have sacrificed everyone else. You got tackled and you obeyed the man who was trying to save your life.""Chaz, what do you think?" Pamela asked him."We could hold her here until Virginia shows up. That would give Cáel a few minutes to reminisce before she gets dragged off to the looney bin." (That would, of course, lead to her death while in Federal custody   so that wasn't happening, period.)"I concur," Pamela agreed. She still had her gun out and aimed. She went to a one-handed grip so she could motion Juanita to come inside.I took the opportunity to walk around Chaz, though I only advanced half way."I think it is asking too much from my bodyguards to walk up to you with that vest lying at your feet," I pointed. "You know   just in case you are lying." She nodded, smiled and came forward. A hug was in the offing. I almost missed Odette coming up behind me."I'm on a timetable," Mom murmured into my shoulder. "You know why.""I am afraid I do," (my pheromones were already affecting her). "What brought this on? How long can you stay?""The kidnapping made it imperative. But this has been my first opportunity to get close enough to you to determine if my father had won, or not," she confessed."I'm not sure how long I can remain ~ maybe a day, or three. I have heard you have an upcoming ordeal you must go through for your Amazons." Odette again by way of Delilah. I decided to give Delilah the benefit of the doubt and just accept that she did what she did because she was worried about me."Oh. Mom, this is Odette Sievert, my roommate and all-around better friend than I deserve." Odette extended her hand. Mom reached past me and shook it."Nice to finally meet you in person," Mom smiled."Nice to realize you aren't as nutty as the rest of the bunch,and considering you came at Pamela and Chaz with a fake suicide vest   that is saying something," Odette grinned."My son is all I have left of Ferko (my dad)," she grew grim. "If my father stole him after killing my husband   I wouldn't know how to carry on.""Aaahh," Odette stammered through this tense family moment. "You are about to be a grandmother in a serious way," she tried to turn things around. "How does a dozen grandkids sound?"Operational security and secret information were concepts Odette was aware of. She simply refused to use either one."Really?" Mom looked from Odette to me. "How serious?""How about we get out of here before the FBI shows up," I began directing my mom out the doors."Cáel?" Chaz questioned."Hey now, I never agreed to hand my mom over to Virginia. The vest was fake. Let's not dwell on this," I urged Mom and Odette out the door."Ishara," Juanita repeatedly prayed, "why do you test me so?"Chaz and Pamela showed their faith in me and my decision-making ability by tagging along. For me, what does a son who hasn't spent any time with his mother since he was seven (because she was supposedly dead for the past fifteen years) ask first?Actually, we waited for Chaz, who had the presence of mind to ensure the vest was truly a dud and then called Virginia so she could clean up one of my messes   yet again."Thank you, Color Sergeant," Mom looked toward Chaz as the GL 550 pulled away from One Mi Ma1 Tower. Unfortunately, the look he sent her way wasn't friendly."Thanks for reminding me," I nodded to Mom. "Chaz, what in the Hell possessed you to jump on Odette and me? I appreciate it,""Me too," Odette chimed in."But please don't do that ever again. Of all the, let's just say I have too many deaths of people I like on my mind. I don't want you added to that list.""Tough.""Well, thanks for considering my request," I groaned."Chaz, three nights ago our boy learned that one of the women he knocked up is going to die and no one will intervene to save her life and they won't tell him where she is," Pamela let him know."Who do we talk to?" he asked me. By 'talk' I assumed he meant torture until they coughed up a viable location/suspect."The Goddess Ishara.""Fuck. I apologize, Cáel. That is hard news for a young man like you to take. As for my jumping on you   suck it up. It is my job to make sure you can do yours.""Juanita," Pamela called out. "Stop driving to Havenstone. Take us back to Cáel's place. He won't let the Amazons take his mother, which means I won't let them, which means Chaz won't let them. Besides, Odette could get killed in the cross-fire and too many people like her for that to be safe for any would-be assassin.""Really?" Odette perked up. Of course she wasn't worried about being killed. Odette was fascinated that people found her valuable   enough to kill anyone who killed her. She'd more fully grasp that curse later on. She was a genuinely nice person. What Pamela left unsaid was that if 'people' thought someone might kill Odette, they would 'proactively' protect her. Too many people she now hung out with were of that stripe of crazy."Pamela, would you miss me if I got killed?" Odette turned to the most dangerous person in the car. (I didn't think Mom was in her league, but then I had never seen her fight, so I was keeping an open mind.)"You bet your ass, Baby-cakes," she grinned at my super-kind sidekick."Me too," Chaz added gruffly. "Of greater importance, Addison would take umbrage. Next to Ms. Love, she's the nastiest bitch I've ever met." He meant that as a compliment."Not Lady Yum   I meant Worthington-Burke?" I inquired."She doesn't take things personally. She'd miss Odette, but not enough to move off-mission," Chaz explained."Let's not forget Buffy," Pamela snorted. "What she lacks in experience she makes up for by being totally psychotic and fanatically loyal to Wakko here. People who piss him off tend to end up as a place holder on the Obituary page.""Unless they never find the bodies," Juanita commented   from her personal experience disposing of people for me. Groan."Cáel, I am so happy I met you," Odette hugged my arm. "My life was going nowhere before you gave me your phone number. Now, I know my life is at risk and I don't care. Being with you has been more wonderful than I ever thought possible."Mom was studying me, both pleased and worried."What?" I asked."You have a lot of your grandfather in you. He did have a gift for inspiring the best out of people. You are like your father in that you care for those people   caring for both their lives and their happiness. Your father inspired that same kind of loyalty because he kept the needs of his people in the forefront of his mind.""Dad was like Grandpa?" I worried."Hell no." That was Pamela."Thank the Divine, no," Mom exhaled at the same time. "How do you know my father?""I killed him," Pamela grinned."You were the one? I'm, I don't know what to think," Mom murmured."Keep that in mind before you try to pull another stunt like you did tonight," Pamela's grin grew feral."Pamela is the best Grandmother I could ever hope for," I explained."Spiritually speaking," Odette tried to lighten the mood (she was a cracker-jack morale officer). "Otherwise it would make Cáel's having sex with her granddaughters rather, suspect.""Odette, you can say 'incestuous'," Mom gave a half-grin. "Do you know much about my family?""Your Pa created you and your sisters to be fuck-toys who also ran errands for him," Odette nodded. "They are all loonies.""Don't share that view with them," Mom cautioned. "When we last met, they had a highly under-developed sense of humor and a well-cultivated mean streak.""Gotcha," Odette giggled. "After dealing with the Slayers of Testicles numbers 1 & 2, I have learned what kind of wacky girls Cáel attracts without even trying.""I really should make sure Mr. Fiennes is okay," I reminded myself."You would do better catching up with that girl down the hall. The Korean takeout girl also asked about you", offered Odette. Yeah, the girl in 3-F baked me some cookies when Dad was murdered."How many grandchildren are we talking about?" Mom looked at me with some serious maternal affection."Who are the Slayers of Testicles?" Juanita wanted to know. My family jewels belonged to House Ishara   at least in her and her sisters' estimation."Oneida's bodyguards," Odette let slip out before she saw the warning look in my eyes."You are sleeping with the apprentice of House Arinniti?" gasped Juanita   I was hoping her questioning wasn't hurting her driving. "What about the 84 day rule?""I'd better not bring up Rhada," Odette nodded thoughtfully."I'm going to spank you," I growled at Odette."Was that aimed at me?" Juanita."Yippee, and we are going home now, too!" Odette squealed."Not you, Juanita   Odette. I want to teach her how to 'not say' whatever pops up in her head," I grumbled."You promised to punish me!" she beamed brightly. "Punish me! Punish me!""Uuuuuuu," I beat my cranium against the headrest in front of me."I thought she was the 'nice' girl," Mom chided me."She was," Pamela smirked. "Unfortunately, she's been totally corrupted by your son.""Yep," Odette agreed. "He's opened up a whole new horizon of things sexual for me.""Son, how many women are you seeing? I thought you were engaged." Mom."Uuuuuuu," I repeated."I'll take care of this," Chaz intervened calmly. "He is as loyal as he can be   within the bounds of his limited moral arsenal   to Hana Sulkanen. So he is sexually and romantically involved with Brooke Lee and Libra Chalmers, civilians he met through contacts at Havenstone. There is Anais Saint-Armour, RCMP, who departed this weekend,""She'll be back," Pamela assured Mom. "They always come back at least once.""Who has only come back just once?" Chaz laconically questioned Pamela."Good point," Pamela acceded. "They keep coming back until he changes the locks, his phone number and address." That made no sense,"I am glad you two are my friends," I groused. "I'd hate to think what you would say about me if you hated me.""You're welcome," Pamela grinned."Ms. Marla Chalmers," Chaz continued without missing a beat, "Libra's younger sibling, who your son indubitably impressed while in college; three teachers at an exclusive school, he met them while body-guarding a group of children; an assistant manager of a hotel he stayed at; six attractive, college-educated European young women,""Don't forget the Macedonian!" Pamela interjected."I have removed her from the list because she has no reliable way to hunt down our boy," he explained."Good point," Pamela nodded."They like busting your chops, don't they?" Mom smiled."As opposed to physically busting my chops   this I can live with.""You have matured nicely. Your father would be very pleased   quietly, of course.""Thank you Mom." She knew the man better than I ever would."We won't count the 189 Amazons who have staked a claim to him for the next nine days," Chaz added."What! 189? When did that happen?""The thirty huntresses and the 159 members of House Ishara," Pamela clued me in."159? When did that happen?" I gasped again. I was repeating myself   not good. I knew I had told Buffy to 'keep up the good work', but still, House Ishara wasn't even two months old yet."They are the best of the roughly 20,000 Runners in the Host and thus, all are serious bad-ass bitches," Pamela assured me. "I think Helena would like you to explore a few more heroic Runners who have since passed.""Passed?" Mom."Cáel sees dead people," Odette beamed."So does his Aunt Baibre," Mom said."Met her, came off a bit, off," I confirmed."That's Baibre. What other ones have you met, besides Deidre and Brianna?"She was asking if I had met others outside of Delilah's watchful eye."Hmm, Imogen, Kelly and Matilda.""Okay. You haven't met the bad ones yet," Mom nodded. I was stunned yet again. Not by what Mom said, but by,"The 'bad ones'?" Pamela inquired. "They come in shades worse than Kelly and Matilda?""I'm with you on that. Those two were unsettling," Chaz agreed. Holy Shit! Pamela and Chaz were agreeing that two of my aunts had them worried on a tactical level. So 'not good' for me, since I couldn't take either of my friends. Bad-bad."Fiona is the worst. She is the second youngest of my generation and by far the most lethal. She was Father's pet.""Oh joy," I sighed."Is she bulletproof?" Chaz inquired."Not quite, but she is definitely hard to kill. She has a greater share of Alal while remaining sane.""Oh, she's the sane one?" Juanita joined in."On that side of his family, sane is a relative term." Thanks, Odette."Relative to how far your cock is into them?" Pamela snorted."Hold on now," I interrupted the jocularity. "What do you mean   'your generation'   'the second youngest'   what happened to the youngest   and when you say 'worst', define 'worst'."Pamela's phone rang."Father created three generations of daughters and sons. Carrig was the 'success' on the male side of the equation."Uncle Lumpy was the 'success'? What had the other uncles been like   idiot cyclops cannibals?"He destroyed all the rest.""Please clarify," Chaz studied my mother. "Your father murdered his own children?""Yes. All but one of the 36 sons. He kept Carrig around as a reminder to not create any more sons. The first generation of daughters were all 'failures'.""You mean dead?" Odette gulped."Yes   dead now, though he viewed all of us as property, not human beings.""Consider Grandad's low opinion of humanity, that's extra tragic," I put an arm around Odette. Pamela was muffling her conversation."Of the second generation of daughters, only Aunt Faoiltiama was kept around. I always had the impression her soul wasn't entirely human. She is rather primitive and predatory. A less horrifically unbalanced Carrig   physically that is. Carrig was somewhat more erudite.""Wow, I don't know what to think of that," I mumbled."Of my generation, eleven of us were allowed to live. Kelly and Maitilda are the most physically dangerous. That was their purpose   killing things.""Trained in combat styles by Cáel's grandfather?" Chaz looked, depressed."Yes. The four of us were. Fiona was the only one I couldn't best.""I would like to spar with you when it is convenient," Chaz requested."Okay. You deserve to know how bad it can be," she nodded. "Of the rest, Una was the youngest, the most human and humane. She was Father's final failure. I was never sure why he kept her alive.""For Cáel to rescue, of course," Odette insisted. Crap. She was right. By the horrified look on my Mother's face, she knew Odette was correct as well.Alal had let Una live as a contingency card, in case I was a soft-hearted sap. In hindsight, it was obvious. The innocent damsel trapped in a madhouse, at the mercy of her fiendish kinfolk, she was a perfect weapon to make me do stupider shit than normal."Damn," Mom muttered. "Anyway, Briana is the most willful and the family's representative to the Illuminati. Deidre is the most sedate, so she handles the normal business interests that we are allowed to know about. Darcie had Alal's hunger for lost and forbidden lore. In her case, it is all-consuming. She has memorized much of Father's collection.""She is rather good at it too   or was when I last saw her. Imogen is our tactician and oversees the O'Shea's bodyguard contingent. She has Father's ability to choose the best men and women, to train them to a razor's edge and to inspire fanatic loyalty.""Sadhbba: she is Father's spy master; with the exceptionally eerie talents of subterfuge, deceit and finding the weakness in others. She and I did not get along. Fiona could do it all, except for my talent.""Which is?" Chaz took over, since Pamela was waving me over for a close, quiet chat concerning her phone call."Fiona was an updated version of me. She was slightly better at everything I could do, except for one thing. I had Father's sixth sense about things. Fiona did not, and that was the reason she hated me so much. Father stoked our internal conflicts to keep us all on edge.""Good to know," Chaz understated his concern. "Do you have any intelligence on how, when and with what your father will come after our boy?" I wasn't insulted by the 'our boy' moniker. He wasn't calling me a child. He was telling Mom that I was 'one of the boys'   on his team. I felt all warm and tingly. My dearth of long-term male friends had meant I had never really been in a fraternity   the close brotherhood of men   before."Problem for you to deal with," Pamela handed me the phone. "It is Tabitha Loire." Tabitha? Vincent's   FBI Special Agent Vincent Lorie's   drop-dead gorgeous daughter. He had taken more than one bullet in Romania. I hadn't heard from him since that morning at the hospital, before being whisked away to the US via Germany. I remained a lousy friend."Hello? Who is this?" the weary, angry voice on the other end of the connection spoke."Cáel Nyilas. Tabitha Loire, what can I do for you?""What can you tell me about my Father?""Oh God! He is not dead, is he?" I grunted. Pause."No. No, Da is okay. He was released from the hospital a week ago. I would like to talk to you about what happened to him overseas.""He won't tell you?""No. Neither will his boss, or any of his acquaintances. Mr. Nyilas, he is down in the dumps and I want to know what I can do to help out. If you are his friend, you should help."I couldn't blame her for being both bitter and exasperated. She had run full tilt into the Great Wall of National Security and been stopped cold."How about I come down and talk to you?" I offered. "What I can tell you shouldn't go out over a phone and I have been remiss in not catching up with your father sooner.""Umm, when?""I'll take the next train down tonight," I decided. "We'll arrange some vehicles at the station. What is your address?" She hesitated. After all, she had Pamela's number, not mine and I was tied into her father being shot   badly. She gave me the address, her desire to know what happened overcoming her caution when dealing with strangers. "I'll give you a call when we arrive in Alexandria.""Train?" Juanita griped. Chaz pulled out his phone and called Agent-86 for both the next train from Penn Station to Alexandria and an update to Virginia and the Homeland Security people for clearance to bring along our ironmongery. Pamela looked at me with pride. So did Mom. Whatever Juanita's opinion of me was, it was concealed by her call to someone else   probably updating Buffy on my itinerary."Vincent was the Federal Agent who was wounded at Miercurea Ciuc?" asked Mom."I need to have a talk with Delilah," Pamela glowered."I want to be in the room when you do," Chaz agreed."Juanita   Penn Station and call someone at Executive Services to pick up our car. Long term parking there is a bitch," I related.Was it? I had no idea, but Alal apparently did. I had been to Penn Station three times; and I never had a vehicle that needed a parking space. All three times, Havenstone sent a car to pick me up. That was for my preliminary and final interviews, plus handling all the paperwork after I got the job.I'd left Bolingbrook in a U-Haul truck (without much in it) a week before starting work. I had an iron-clad belief I could find a place to live within that time span. That was all the time and money I had allotted to that endeavor. My budget had been tight, or so I believed.Unlike the other four chuckleheads who joined the New Directive, I hadn't received a signing bonus. Maybe I should have asked for one. Too late for that now."You taking your mother to meet Vincent?" Odette poked me. I looked from Pamela to Odette then back again.Sneaky-ass bitches. They were introducing my widowed Mother to a really nice, mature guy who was brave, a good father, a widower and all-around stand-up guy. He had a ready-made family, an oldest daughter my age. Beyond some physical similarities, Vincent was not much like Dad. Dad was a quiet, private man.By the nature of his job as a Field Agent, Vincent had to possess superior communication skills. Physically, they were nearly the same height, but Dad was broader in the shoulders. On the other hand, Vincent had both a warrior's spirit and the skills to back it up.But why Mom? Her life was more a disaster than mine, and mine was colossally fucked up."Don't get any ideas," Pamela put out there. Was she talking to me? "Chaz and I don't like you. Your father is a rat-bastard with a mind like a snake. We have no idea if you are yet another one his plots to get at Cáel."They were still taking her with us as we went to see Vincent in Virginia. Since this was going to be a quick trip   I had to be back at Havenstone at 6 a.m.   no clothing was necessary. Chaz received a call from Agent-86 with a follow-up call as we pulled up to the station. I didn't know the nature of the second call until we went to pick up our tickets for the 10:05 Northeast Regional.Waiting there was my old buddy and now sister, Wilma Draper/Ishara. I was at a loss why. It wasn't as if I needed more firepower than Juanita, Chaz and Pamela in the confined environment of a train."Wilma?""Hello Ish   Cáel," she smiled. She was emotionally pumped."What are you doing here?""Oh... Buffy told me that I was to be here on assignment to fulfill an Isharan obligation." This would be Wilma's first mission for House Ishara, no matter how brief and danger-free it might be. She was ecstatic.Huh? I couldn't recall any obligation I owed Buffy, or Vincent. Unlike every other Amazon House, things regularly happened without the Head of House's knowledge. Face facts: I was the least prepared leader the Host had ever had. I compensated by having hyper-competent underlings   the very best of the best Runners-turned-Full-blooded Amazons."Ah," Pamela nodded, sensing my loss of understanding, "A promise to provide Vincent a bodyguard was made in your presence. Being the highest ranking member of the Host present, and failing to pass on that knowledge, it falls to your House to answer that pledge.""Wilma, you are here to be Vincent Loire's bodyguard?""Only temporarily. The current state of affairs at HQ won't allow me to take more than three days leave. Your 'First' is seeking another appropriate Isharan for the task."I had totally dropped the ball.The initiative to bring JIKIT and the Amazons together was my creation. Katrina had approved it, yet it was my status as Chief Diplomat of the Host (as I had redefined that role,) that was responsible for that group, and thus Vincent. There was also another undercurrent to providing Vincent an Amazon bodyguard. I would be sending Vincent the message that he was still a valuable member of the team. His infirmity was simply a temporary difficulty.I gave Javiera a call. I suddenly needed to know Vincent's status with the FBI. A little past Philadelphia, she called back. Vincent was on long-term leave and, barring a positive physical assessment, he would never be going back into the field. They were making him a desk jockey for the rest of his career. That would be a heavy enough blow to the man to put him in the dumps.I made my view clear. As Unpaid Honcho Assigned to Unit L &  U HAUL, I wanted Vincent on my team   JIKIT's field team. I had plenty of lethal shooters. I needed a trained investigator and a veteran lawman to keep us aware of the niceties the world's legal systems wished to live by. I finished that off with a very regal "Make it so!" Javiera, my boss, hung up on me; though I thought I caught a laugh before the connection was cut."Pamela," Chaz turned to Pamela, "I am proud to call him 'brother'.""I think he is coming along nicely, Grandson Charles," Pamela preened. Wha- huh? My family had grown yet again. Grown yet again with people who were better than me."Does that make Aya your niece?" a sleepy Odette smiled."I guess it does," he nodded."Aya will love you," Pamela smiled."I hope Caitlyn loves him too," I smirked."A man could do worse than marrying an Amazon," Chaz blithely retorted. Less I forget, the Tomorrow Clan had its own long warrior tradition."Asking it to be three thousand years long is a bit too much," Pamela agreed with what I had not spoken aloud."On the plus side," I began."He's also getting several frisky sisters-in-law," Pamela finished. Hi-Five."Super Twin Powers Activate!" we proclaimed loudly.Fuck Ishara for taking Tad fi from me. I could be just like my Father. I could bleed off my pain with humor and look at my daughter with untainted love."When I grow up, I want to be just like you," Odette yawned. Which one of us she wanted to emulate wasn't clear.{Wounded, but not forgotten}{2:00 am, Wednesday, September 3rd ~ 5 Days to go}The tickets were one-way. Katrina was having a private jet come down at 4 a.m. to fetch me. We arrived in DC at 1:30. Two bleary-eyed State Department flunkies met us with an S U V and a sedan. We took the S U V ~ we had seven people ~ while they drove the sedan back so they could try to make something of the night that duty had destroyed.They looked curious about what this was all about and were a bit disappointed that no explanation was forthcoming from our crowd. We were polite, and I thanked them for their service. Being a decent human being doesn't cost you much and can pay serious dividends.The drive to Casa de Loire took thirty minutes. Juanita informed me the small airport I would be flying out of was a twenty minute drive, so I had roughly an hour and half with Vincent and his family. When we arrived, Juanita sent Wilma to make a 'walk-around' Vincent's home so she could get the lay of the land as well as keep an eye out for voyeurs.Pamela saved another series of frowns from Juanita by being the first person to the door. Tabitha had called her after all. Tabitha, Vincent's oldest and a Georgetown University senior, clearly didn't know what to make of us, and we weren't making it any easier for her by showing up on her stoop three hours after she had called Pamela.It wasn't going to get better. For starters, Juanita (and the not visible Wilma) had a MP-7A1. Ya know  military-grade weaponry. The door opened halfway. It was Gretchen Loire, the middle daughter."Hello. May I help you?" That wasn't her being uninformed about our imminent arrival. This was the child of an FBI agent allowing a stranger at her door to identify themselves instead of giving them a name to use."I'm Pamela Pile," my mentor answered. "This is Cáel Nyilas, my grandson. The gentleman to his left is my other grandson, Color Sergeant Chaz Tomorrow of the British military. To the left is Juanita Garza, my younger grandson's bodyguard   the one without a gun in his hand. The young lady in back is Odette Sievert, another one of your father's co-workers. The woman beside her is Sibeal Nyilas, Cáel's mother. Don't trust her   long story. A seventh member of our group is checking out your backyard. Her name is Wilma Draper.""You are heavily armed. Is my Da in trouble?""I want to talk to your father, if that is okay with you. I'll let Cáel answer your questions. He's our titular boss."'Thanks Pamela', I groaned inwardly.She was cute, exhausted and emotionally-vulnerable. Eager for answers and for someone to make sense of a world where her anchor   her father   had been nearly killed (not that his wounds had really been life-threatening). I hadn't had sex in over a day and that had only been a tension-breaker quickie with Odette.As we entered, it was obvious that Gretchen and her younger sister, Mariyah, had camped out in the front living room, catching some 'z's' on a recliner and a sofa with light blankets for covers. Mariyah was on the sofa, sitting up on her elbows and struggling to wake up.As Chaz shut the front door, Tabitha came down the stairs."Mr. Nyilas," she greeted me. Well, I was an infamous celebrity. I even had two Facebook pages (Nyilas Nailed Me! and Az  j Magyarorsz g kir lya (The New King of Hungary)) as well as four Instagram accounts devoted to me."Ms. Loire," I met her halfway and shook her hand."Call me Tabitha.""Call me Cabbage-Head," I grinned. That caught her off guard."Oh, kay, not what I expected." (I get that a lot) "We need to talk," she failed to stifle a grin."If you sleep with any of these girls, I will shoot you," Pamela warned me in Hittite."Excuse me?" Tabitha looked her way."Don't worry about it, Tabitha," Pamela gave her a congenial look. "I simply warned the boy that if he acted inappropriately, I would scar him.""Aren't you engaged?" she turned on me."Yes. Yes I am. Hana is a wonderful woman; beautiful, smart, with a big heart and a serious nature. Sadly for her, I'm a lousy human being, untrustworthy cad and perpetually prone to making bad decisions where women are concerned. Very bad decisions.""Miss, since my associate appears to be eminently capable of mangling the English language, let me help you clarify the situation: Cáel can't say 'no' where a woman is concerned. He can't even say, 'no, please don't hurt me', or 'no, not now. I'm talking to my date'.""Hi. I'm Odette. There are four sane people in this room and I'm one of them.""Says the woman who snuck aboard a transatlantic fight and hid in a place in the galley which you couldn't get out of," Pamela snorted."I got to go to Europe for free," she defiantly perked up. "Oh, and ladies," to the Lorie girls, "your father is a wonderful and brave male. (OK, too much time around the Amazons for her.) "He saved my life in Budapest.""He was in Budapest?" Gretchen."When?" Tabitha."Why?" Mariyah."We need to talk to Vincent  

Matt, Bob & B-DOE
Matt and Bob 3-27-25 The Deep South, Chuy's Trip Recommendations and Roan Meet and Groan

Matt, Bob & B-DOE

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 163:12


Today Matt teaches Chuy about the deep south. Then we get flooded with recomendations for chuy to eat or listen to on his trip. We also talk about Chappel roan and her desire to not be talked to by fans. Then Chuy decides not to go on the trip. Support the show: https://www.klbjfm.com/mattandbobfm/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dermot & Dave
These Bad Jokes Will Make You Groan

Dermot & Dave

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2025 2:51


Brighten up your Tuesday with some hilarious bad jokes from Dave!

ExplicitNovels
Cáel Defeats The Illuminati: Part 7

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2025


Tadifi's legendBook 3 in 18 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.Meanwhile, Elsa was quietly amused. It wasn't like I could request the SD to force my House Guard to not do something they had been told to do by someone in my hierarchy. That would lead to chaos, and it was unfair to Juanita."Fine," I decided. "Get us three some water. Elsa and I will be practicing."Now Juanita was stuck. I wasn't asking her to leave the room, just leave me alone. I was technically her leader, respect notwithstanding."It is good to see you have not become drunk with power," Elsa smirked once Juanita had left on her errand."Your mockery is unappreciated," I glared back. I was only kidding. "I haven't seen you around recently. It is good to see you.""It is good to see you too," Elsa said in a voice far softer and compassionate than I would have preferred. After all, she had me drugged, beaten, then beaten me up again in the not so distant past.Of course, I had also sexed her up, bringing her to orgasm with my fingers alone. We had also exchanged a burning French kiss in Katrina's office that Buffy was aware of. Then there was the Buffy-Elsa personal feud and the Elsa-Rhada family feud. Balancing that was Elsa's super-hot body and intriguing personality. Sex with her promised to be memorable, more memorable than normal."What have you been up to? I'd like to say I've been behaving myself, but I don't want to advance our relationship by lying (right now, about this).""You are largely responsible for what I've been up to the past two weeks," she stepped back. She tossed her spear aside and entered her fighting stance. How nice of her to warn me, and get rid of her weapon. How erotically odd of her to give me the illusion of a chance."I deny everything," I rocked back. She was blindingly fast. The fact that I was able to block most of the blow was a testament to how much I had learned in the past two and a half months."Watashi wa nihongo o hanashimasu', 'Wǒ shuō pǔtōnghu ', 'Wǒ shuō guǎngdōng hu ' and 'Aku isa basa jawa'," she lectured me as she maneuvered me into a corner with a series of kicks and feints. She spoke Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese and Javanese. That was nice to know."Wait," then she kicked me off the mat."Amazons don't have a 'time out'," she smiled. I cautiously worked my way back onto the practice area."What part did you play?" I readied myself. This time, I went on the offensive. I used my greater strength and reach to compensate (rather poorly) for her superior reflexes."Someone had to ride herd on those disparate forces. My status was respected by the Amazons, I had experience dealing with outsiders, plus your person Addison nominated me, and Katrina suggested that you and I were close. That was enough for the Khanate. Your embassy and earlier aid to the Seven Families brought the 9 Clans along.""And you stole the carrier?""It was an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to humiliate the Seven Pillars," she grinned. "Riding in a nuclear submarine was interesting, right up there with running around, spray painting translations next to all the markings onboard the captured vessel. Herding regular civilians wasn't nearly as much fun.""In the annals of the SD, that is going to be a victory hard to surpass," I got out right before my legs were swept out from under me. Before I could roll over, she landed on top of me. She didn't go for a pin. Elsa simply sat there, straddling my hips and looking down at me. We were both breathing heavily."I owe you for that," she patted me on my bare chest."Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?""I'll let you figure that out during the Great Hunt," she gave a sliver of a smile."Not you too," I groaned."Who else are you worried about?""You and twenty-nine other Amazons. By name, Rachel. She's pretty upbeat about her chances and believes she has a score to settle.""Rachel will be a tough one," Elsa acknowledged."Comfortable?" Juanita muttered."Yes, I am," Elsa grinned her way. "Thank you for asking." Juanita gave me a look that suggested I do something like protest, or actually try to fight her off."Why are you being nice to me?" I wondered."I've learned to appreciate your numerous qualities," Elsa enlightened me. "I am also honest enough to admit I was completely wrong about you. You make a good Amazon." That was huge praise indeed and more importantly, it was to a public audience. I was double fortunate that no one was close enough to see Elsa's camel toe resting against my lightly covered hard-on."Thank you. Is there anything I can do for you?""Aren't you engaged to someone?" Juanita reminded me. What she was really saying was 'don't you know you belong to the maidens of House Ishara?' Trust me, I know these things. Had she meant Hana, she would have said Hana."She has the patience of Job," I reasoned. "Oh, Elsa, Job is a figure in the Old Testament of the Bible." I doubted she knew."Oh. Is he a bloody-handed butcher, raging misogynist, or one of those pacifistic wimps?""He's a nice guy who gets swallowed by a whale.""That's Jonah," Juanita corrected me. "Job is the one who was tested by God. Job accepted God taking away all his family, wealth and health, only to be rewarded for his loyalty to God with more than he ever had before.""Wimp.""I would never turn away from Ishara," Juanita rumbled."Zorja would never feel the need to test my loyalty so," Elsa riposted."Oh look," I thrust my hips up. "I seem to need a shower." Elsa's expression was of superiority and lust combined into a lethal cocktail of my demise."Let's go. You can wash my back," she said as she rose over me. She even offered me a hand up. That was unexpected and accepted warily."Is there some battle wound that makes you incapable of bathing yourself?" Juanita got feisty. Holy Hell, she was my Caribbean Buffy-twin."None," Elsa smugly commented. "I like the feel of his hands on my body. He possesses non-threatening masculinity wed with sisterly solidarity. It is a unique experience that you seem woefully unaware of.""Yippee!" I whispered."You really are a man-whore," Juanita declared under her breath."Check," I gave her a thumbs-up. Sadly, Elsa gave me enough respect to walk at my side, not in front of me (so I could have been mesmerized by her buttocks.) As I was stripping down in the locker room, I noticed Juanita hovering close by. "Are you going to follow me into the shower?""Yes.""Why? I am not going to be in danger in the middle of Havenstone.""I'll be the judge of that," she insisted."You do realize I've had sex with an audience before, don't you?""I've been warned about that and know proper counter-measures.""What? What kind of measures?" I was now naked and, towel in hand, was making my way to the communal showers."Charlie horses, trips, stun-gun if applicable," she informed me with relish."You are threatening to damage my prestige," I enlightened her."Cáel, I was chosen for more than my martial skills. I was selected because I will not wilt before your childish ways.""Are you a lesbian?""No. Why would a woman have to be a lesbian to withstand your wiles?""You'll figure it out eventually," I chuckled. Actually, knowing what a playboy-cad I was turned out to be a counter-intuitive edge for me. Expecting me to be a letch just meant I totally ignored the woman. Then the doubt would set in. 'Why wasn't I hitting on her?' she would think. She'd go through the phase of her not being good enough for me to knowing that wasn't the case, definitely, and would come at me to prove herself right. Wham-bam, another one in the can. Oink.Step One: reduce the amount of time talking to her as a fellow human traveler of life. From here on out, I would address her by her name when I wanted something and otherwise treat her like furniture ~ furniture I was comfortable with. In this case, I treated her like a towel rack. She promptly dropped it. That was okay, I was planning to get dressed wet anyway.I rinsed off my hair quickly as Elsa settled underneath the showerhead beside me. As soon as I finished, she handled me a bottle of (scentless) body soap. It was probably one of those the jaguar will smell me coming ten miles away excuses Amazons used to avoid being girlie. I got my hands all sudsy and began working on her shoulders and neck from behind.Wordlessly, Elsa followed my physical directions, allowing me to wash her arms before working my way down her back in languid, amorous circles. Around the 10th thoracic vertebrae, Elsa gave me a deep, cleansing exhalation. I dug my fingers into her taut back muscles, racking them down to her buttocks, deftly ran them along the sides of her glutes and finished up caressing them along the line between her thighs and ass.I worked her buttocks apart, worked my fingers along her perineum, tickling the back of her labia then up, across her anus and back to her tailbone and the small of her back. A crazy idea came to me: maybe I could talk her into a tramp stamp; something like If you are reading this, know I'll kill you next. That would be so Elsa.I lathered her ass up for another half-minute before working my way down to her thighs, starting with the hip joints and then coaxing of her parted lips. I knelt down so that I was resting on the balls of my feet. Elsa obliged me by parting her legs, standing on her toes with her feet over a foot apart, then placing her hands against the shower stall while arching her back so that her hips were thrust back."Oh, come on," Juanita protested. "What kind of bath is this?""Did you hear something?" Elsa looked down at me."Nope. I was focusing all of my attention on you," I smiled up at her. I was really liking the way her muscles were stressed through her exertions. I couldn't seem to pay enough attention to her robust calves. I didn't pass up the opportunity to plant gentle kisses on each cheek either.Elsa's ankles and feet happened all too fast and the pretense of a bath was complete. She looked at me while she soaped up her breasts then let the water cascade all over her body."Thank you, Cáel," she gave me a regal nod of her damp head, turned and left. "Train harder for the Hunt. You are going to need every edge you can get.""I'm stalking oysters over the weekend. They are cunning and stealthy adversaries," I replied sagely. Elsa snorted, then started toweling off as she left, going toward her own locker. I walked past my soaked towel on the floor without a single glance. Juanita stalked behind me, clearly with a lot on her mind she was now waiting for the proper moment to share. I got dressed."Not going to dry off?" she grumbled."I never use towels," I lied. "I like the rain-washed feel." By ignoring her act of defiance, I really steamed her. I wasn't done. As we headed toward the elevator, I opened up with my next jibe. Buffy really shouldn't challenge me so. I'm a past-master of dealing with clingy, bossy women."Regretting you made that bet?" I mused while we waited."What bet?" she simmered."The bet where you assured Buffy and whomever else was in the room that you wouldn't break down and physically harm me ~ punishing me for my wicked ways?""What? How did," she groused then, "You are playing me.""Yep.""You really are full of yourself," she seared me with her gaze."No, but I know what I'm good at and I'm good at frustrating women. I've been working at it for the past four years and I've got over 200 women who would agree that I'm very good at doing it.""Why are you doing this to me? I'm on your side," she turned all pouty and hurtful."Because if I don't, I'll go mad, Juanita," I enlightened her. "You want to protect me, right?""Yes," she sensed a verbal trap. The elevator opened and we stepped in."See, I don't want to be protected," I started."That's,""Let me finish, please," I stopped her. She gave me the visual 'go-ahead'. "I don't want to live a life where I need to be protected. I don't want to worry that women I hang out with could be cornered by some unsavory types at an eatery because those women happen to know and like me.""I admire what you are doing, I really do. This is not the life I wanted, though. This is not what I wanted to be doing four months after leaving college. I wanted to be some corporate worm, barely scraping by on my work reviews and being, as you said, 'a man-whore'.""You don't have that luxury," she pointed out."Am I not doing my job?" I countered."I guess you are," she grudgingly admitted."Yet you feel you have the right to critique my personal life and how I approach it," I related. "I'm not beating you up by playing the I am Ishara bullshit. I certainly don't expect anyone to be grateful to me for the opportunity to be in a House. I don't because I believe that every member of House Ishara has already proven they belong here before I ever meet them. I believe in you. Sometimes I would appreciate it if my sisters would give me the same respect."She looked away because my harpoon had struck home."Unlike the rest of you, I inherited my place in this madhouse. Unlike every other Amazon here, I am only a part of House Ishara because I am the choice of a thousand ancestors to be our leader. Notice that no one asked me if I wanted to do this. And I don't think I ask too much of you because frankly, there are times when I feel unworthy to be in your company.""You are still Ishara and I must still be your guardian," she held her ground. I glared at her. She glared back. I coughed. She kept glaring."What's my name?""Oh," she shrugged. "Cáel Wakko Ishara.""That may sound silly you to, but I have chosen the designations for myself, my First Ancestor and the Goddess for a good reason."We rode in silence. When we got to the ground floor, we made our way to our bikes and got ready to head home."What is the reason?""To never take ourselves too seriously. The worst thing I can think to befall my House is we become as humorless as the rest of the bitches around here. 'Laugh at Death' should be our motto.""Isn't that a bit childish?""Of course it is," I groaned. "You clearly haven't been paying attention to a damn thing I've been saying. I swear I'm thinking about bringing back 'National Clown Nose Day'.""We had a 'National Clown Nose Day'?" she pedaled to keep up."God help me," I muttered.(Where is my Serge?)"You are not going to let me go through my door first?" I sighed in exasperation. Juanita insisted that she go through every door first, because today was so very different than yesterday, when I had Pamela, perhaps I protest too much."You have a gun," a somewhat familiar voice said from inside my/Timothy's apartment. Oh, fuck. Ya know, because Juanita was as pretty as she was lethal, which is to say 'too much for the given company'."Don't make any sudden moves unless you want to see it," Juanita cautioned her."Oh, it's okay," Odette intervened. "This is Anais Saint-Armour. She's a Mountie.""Oh, she's on the List too," Juanita grumbled. "What has he done wrong this time?""Why don't you tell me who you are first?" Anais growled at Juanita while I pushed my way into the room."I don't like your attitude," Juanita glared."Anais, this is Juanita Leya Antonio Garza; she's my latest bodyguard. Juanita, this is Anais, a good friend of mine who helped save my life in Hungary when the 'terrorists' were closing in," I somewhat exaggerated,, she had helped me catch up with the rest of the team when Pamela and I got sidetracked."Why did he chose you?" Anais fumed. Did I mention she's insanely jealous with an aching need to know why I was marrying anyone else, but her."What list?" Odette proved to be on the ball."He didn't chose me. I volunteered for the spot.""Buffy made an anti-girlfriend list. Elsa is on it too," I mumbled."I bet you did," Anais (responding to Juanita)."It is not like that," I moved to interpose myself between my Mountie and my non-mounted (for now) guardian. "I'm on the board of directors for Havenstone now and,""How did that happen?" Anais turned 'The Force' on me. (That's Canadian for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, really) "You insisted (reference back in the days we were seeing one another) you were impoverished.""I inherited it from my Father,""He's poor too. I ran a background check when we first started dating," Anais kept up the pressure."My Mother?""She's dead.""Okay, it was my Father through a convoluted meandering of genetics," I went back to attempting the truth (shame on me)."Which is it?" she glowered."My Father, but it's too complicated to get into now," I tried to touch her. She recoiled. She was still pissed with me."He's telling the truth this time," Odette rose to my defense."Why didn't you tell me this when you were in Hungary? For that matter, if you are rich, why didn't you use those resources to get yourself out of trouble instead of involving me?" She really was a great cop."I had to make a call to someone I trusted and who couldn't be traced back to me, or Havenstone, or the Irish Embassy," I fibbed."What have you gotten yourself into?" Anais thawed somewhat."I believe I promised you dinner," I reminded her."You did.""Where are we going?" Juanita stressed our lack of privacy."'We' aren't going anywhere. Ms. Anais Saint-Armour and I are going to a restaurant of her choosing. Don't worry about it. She carries a gun.""I'm not carrying a gun," Anais torpedoed my plan."Where are we going?" Juanita repeated herself. I had to switch mental gears quickly to take in the new looks I was getting from Anais. I shouldn't have ignored those cues."I can't get around my personal security service," I sighed. Why did I give in? Anais was all about gathering evidence and then drawing conclusions from the facts in available.I had been involved in some significant bad-assery in Europe that was way beyond anything she would have associated with the old me. Terrorist cells duking it out with me (and others) in a Budapest metro station? A rustic inn being reduced to ashes after a suspected firefight? Bomb threats? A full-scale military operation in Romania?I had been kidnapped with a resultant massive manhunt for me then returned under highly mysterious circumstances. There had been a young girl with me, we were close for reasons not really gone into and I had saved her despite all forms of parenthood had been anathema to me.I was a man who others deemed necessary to protect, thus a man making secretive phone calls, getting snippets of information and being involved in the deaths of way too many people to be the old, playboy me. Who had I become?I therefore might be a man who 'needed' to marry a billionairess due to some unspeakable political reasons, not out of any romantic/sexual desire of my own. Anais knew that I was a commitment-phobe, not a gold-digger. That meant she could be involved with me without it really being cheating. I needed her help, I had reached out to her when I was in crisis and she was in the people-helping business, right?There was clearly more evidence out there for her to discover and she had the good fortune to be able to have me in a spot where I could be interrogated."Where do you want to go?" I disengaged and went to my room. The door was only partially shut as I changed."Eleven Madison West," I was told."Oh," Odette cooed, "that place is expensive.""I know," Anais remarked."Why did you pick it?" Odette inquired."To remind Cáel that meals can be very expensive." That was my 'date' reminded me that I'd cheated with her over the course of a home-cooked meal, cooked not-by-her in someone else's home. I wondered how Maya was doing.Eleven Madison West meant I pulled out one of my Havenstone suits. They were tailored after all and I suspected that getting into this place at this time of night was going to take some charisma and finagling. Dressing as causal-me wouldn't do. When I stepped out, jaws dropped ~ I do look good all gussied up. Odette dispelled the shock by jumping into my arms."You look hot," she squealed. "Too bad I'm not going out with you.""You might want to remember that," Anais griped."We need to stop by Havenstone so I can attempt to dress up for this affair," Juanita stated."How about we call in a replacement? Give you the night off?" I suggested."Who?""Chaz?""You want that British SSR non-commissioned officer to be your personal bodyguard for tonight? You've got balls," Juanita coughed. I took out my phone and got ready to give him a call."Hey, Anais, why didn't you call me to tell me you were coming over?" I carefully avoided the word 'warned' as she would take that the wrong way."I don't have your personal phone number. I called your home phone and got the answering service, last night and again this morning," she narrowed her eyes."Odette, did Timothy get lucky last night?" I looked past the Mountie."No. A good friend of his rolled his motorcycle and he went to the hospital to help him out," Odette shook her head. Poor Timothy. My roomie/fuck-buddy misinterpreted Anais's pique. "Timothy is gay, not a sexual enabler.""Huh?" Juanita wondered."Wingman," I translated. "Sometimes the three of us go to gay clubs where I act as his wingman,""And they feed me to lesbians," Odette sounded enthusiastic. Thanks to me she was hardly a same-sex virgin."If there are three people living here and two bedrooms, who sleeps on the sofa?" Anais skewered Odette with her eyes."If Cáel has company and isn't sharing, I sleep with Timothy," Odette refused to wilt, or cut me some slack with Anais."Isn't sharing?" those ocular death orbs flicked my way."Hmm, if we are going to Elven Madison West, I had better make that call," I evaded. I rang Chaz."Nyilas," he answered. "How are you doing this evening?""I'm good. I have an ex-girlfriend from out of town visiting, she wants to go to a swanky place and Juanita isn't dressed for the detail so,""You want me to double date?""No, I need a bodyguard.""You are assuming I have something appropriate to wear.""You are British!" I protested. "Even your chicks have tuxedos.""Very well. Will this be a personal protection detail, or close support?""Aahhh,""Close support," said Anais."Personal Protection," countered Juanita."The one most likely to save me from being stabbed with a steak knife," I muttered."I am not going to physically attack you," Anais simmered. Yeah, right, I had heard that one before, and not just from her."Personal Protection it is," Chaz informed me."Oh, and she's a Mountie.""Is she armed?""No," I thanked the goddesses."Does she want to be?""Huh? Are you going to arm her?" I panicked."No. You have a NYPD liaison. Give Officer Kutuzov a call and make a formal request. If she is a law enforcement officer in good standing, it shouldn't be a problem.""Oh, I can do that?, I'm not sure that's the best idea," I prevaricated."Man up, Nyilas," he chided me. "You should work on making it so women don't want to shoot you instead of thinking of ways to disarm them.""Spoken like a man who wisely prefers the company of other men," I grumbled."Good use of the word 'wisely'. Next question: what are we using as a means of conveyance?""Umm,""I have my motorcycle," Anais was less than helpful."If you weren't one of the bravest human beings I'd ever met, I would determine at this moment that you are a dolt. Call Havenstone and arrange for one of those Mercedes Armored GL550s. Bring your license. I drive on the correct side of the road and I'm not keen on having a distraught paramour driving into a storefront at 80 kph.""Man, I like the way you speak," I joked."I took advantage of a proper English education.""I was joking with you.""I know.""Can I date your sister?" I didn't know if he had a sister, but he'd hinted there were multiple Tomorrow's out there. Anais' mood didn't improve."Yes. I like you. You are a good bloke.""Does your sister know how to kill people?""Yes. I'd say she's relatively proficient with a variety of small arms and hand-to-hand techniques," he enlightened me."Just checking.""Cáel, every woman you are interested knows how to kill people, or how to have people killed," Chaz reminded me."What about Odette? She's neither well connected nor lethal.""Odette is indeed an enigma. She counters that by being well liked by people who are capable of killing others who hurt her, except where you are concerned. You live a treasured life.""Have you made dinner reservations? If you need me for a black tie event it has to be, what is the American for it, swanky.""That's more of a Cael/Pamela thing," I corrected him. "American's say 'high class', expensive, or 'hot spot'.""Thanks for the update. Make those calls.""O-kay. Will do. I'll meet you at Havenstone in thirty minutes. Does that work for you?""Yes. Make those calls. I'll see you at, 7:52 pm, EDT. Mark.""Huh?""Goodbye Cáel," and he hung up."Who is this 'Chaz' character?" Anais questioned me."He is Color Sergeant Charles Tomorrow of the British Army's Special Reconnaissance Regiment, he's a badass and he's delicious," Odette answered for me."How do you know him, either of you?" came next."He was with," Odette began blabbing 'National Security' stuff."Odette, don't. Anais, he is member of the Joint International Khanate Interim Taskforce along with me. Odette helps out in an auxiliary role," I answered."Cáel, how did you end up doing this kind of work?" she was perplexed. "You were devoid of anything approaching civic responsibility when we were last together. Quite frankly, I didn't think you cared for anyone but yourself.""Hey now," Odette got feisty. She was my friend after all."We can talk about that over dinner?" I suggested. She didn't like that answer, so I lied. "I grew up," which was what she wanted to hear. I was spared any more interrogation at the moment by the necessity of making those three phone calls. Nikita liked hearing from me again, though she was less pleased that it was official business. She did agree to contact the appropriate agency for me, despite me making it for a different female law enforcement agent.I'd wised up about Havenstone. I called Executive services to have the car delivered to my door step. I cautioned the operative that, in my neighborhood, they might be stopped on suspicion of purchasing guns, drugs, and/or a good time. I would have the car in fifteen minutes and agreed to take the delivery driver back to work afterwards. I'd have done it even if I wasn't meeting Chaz.At Eleven Madison West, I got a snooty 'exactly who do you think you are?' followed by 'you will be placed on the waiting list, a spot may open up around 9:50'. Was I going to inform Chaz and Anais of this? Of course not. I planned to beg like a big dog, suggest that while I was a nameless face, I actually knew people, a person, and we'd see how far that got me.While waiting for the S U V to arrive and on the drive back to Havenstone, this is pretty much what followed:"Do you know who was behind your father's murder yet?""Yes, but I can't talk about it.""Was that the reason people are trying to kill you?""Yes. That and other reasons.""What other reasons?""Things I can't talk about.""Why can't you talk about it?""Secret society stuff ~ decoder rings, secret handshakes, writing in cyphers, holding clandestine meetings in public places after dark, and various other things world governments don't want me talking about.""Are you pulling my leg?" I wished I was running my hands over her legs. This wasn't the time for that revelation."No. Most of what I am telling you is the truth.""Were you in a shootout at the Chicago Medical Examiner's morgue?""Yes. I was unarmed at the time.""Was your life in danger?""It depends on what you mean by 'danger'. My allies had guns and were expert shots. I was shot at, but they missed me, so I not sure how much my life was at risk.""Can you please be serious?""I'm trying. You scare me.""You don't need to be afraid of me. I only want to help." That was mostly true. She was a diligent, hard-working incorruptible public servant,well, as long as you overlooked her charging me with bestiality when she was truly pissed with me."I'm not afraid of you hurting me. I'm afraid for you. You are an excellent peace officer and I'm worried that you will learn too much. Then your life will be as screwed up as mine.""I can take care of myself.""The reality that you are going out with me unarmed speaks volumes about what you don't know, Anais.""Don't think this line of questioning is over, Cáel.""Don't worry. I know you are not done.""Very well. How is your aunt?" The crab-fisherwoman, not the Irish menagerie."Happy as a clam, working a real job and living life on her own terms.""Where did you go wrong?" That was a loaded question. I had to tread carefully."A girl humiliated me in high school. I decided to take control of my life and somehow, despite my best intentions to be an unreliable lothario, I've ended up with people closer to me than family,and this constant need for physical protection.""Why are you engaged?" Finally, the real reason she was here. Had she come by to pick up her accoutrements, she would have been gone by the time I came home. She wanted answers, answers that allowed her to be in charge of our relationship again. It was the double-barreled impact of exceptional sex and wondering why she wasn't 'the one'.(Me) "Are you seeing somebody?""You didn't answer my question.""I've answered plenty of your questions. Answer mine.""No. Men expect too much from a career woman." Translation: 'I'm a bitch that, regardless of my dynamite looks and raunchy sex drive, repels men because I'm a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.'"You do put your career first." Translation: 'I've totally forgotten that you are a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.' It was what she wanted to hear."Your turn.""Put on your tin-foil hat. I did it to save lives in Central Asia when the anthrax strikes were going on. I have this friend over there that people listen to.""Who? The Great Khan?"I didn't respond which wasn't the answer she was expecting."How?" as in how could I possibly be good friends with the master of arguably the third or fourth most powerful nation on the face of the Earth"That's one of those things I can't talk about.""Do you love her?""I don't know. I'm lousy at relationships. I get along with her daughter. Her father wants to bury me alive in the Nevada desert. The rest of the family seems to be coming around to the idea that I might be one of them.""That isn't a 'yes'.""No, it isn't.""Do you think you can ever love someone?" If you need translated, sigh, okay, 'why don't you love me?'"Do you mean 'when am I going to stop stumbling from botched relationship to botched relationship and make something constructive of my personal life?'""Yes.""Did I mention that I've discovered I have a grandfather?""No. That isn't answering my question.""It is in a way. Did I mention that Mom had ten sisters I wasn't aware of? I had an uncle, but he died in my arms.""No. My condolences on your uncle. What does this have to do with you becoming more of an adult and becoming accountable for your life?""Did I mention I have an adopted grandmother who is my spiritual twin?""No.""Don't worry about my uncle. He died trying to kill me. My aunts murdered him, though I can never prove it.""Oh.""My grandfather? He was the one who sent those terrorists to kill me. It was his litmus test to see if I was worthy of being in his family. I passed.""Are you serious?""Yes. My spiritual grandma? She's a retired professional assassin. Daily I interact with a half-dozen people who have killed multiple human beings in their lifetimes. You want to know why I'm not behaving responsibly? I am acting responsibly. I'm trying to not get the decent civilians around me killed."She took awhile digesting that. By that time, we had returned to Havenstone and picked up Chaz. I made introductions."So, are you really with the SRR?" she asked him."Yes.""Why are you with Cáel?""My mandate contains multiple answers. Suffice it to say, since my RAF contemporary will not be returning from the UK until tomorrow, I am presently chief liaison officer for Her Majesty's government with JIKIT.""Why are you coming along as Cáel's bodyguard? Don't you have something better to do with your Friday evenings?" Subtle and polite, Anais ain't. Why was I putting up with her? She was a sexual tornado who would try anything once. She was a real prize."First question: Cáel is a friend, his life is in perpetual danger and I consider it my duty to keep him alive. He would do the same for me. Second question: the nature of my present assignment doesn't leave much room for any meaningful romantic associations.""Hmm," I contemplated what wasn't being said. "Chaz, you are nailing one of my security chicks, aren't you?""Yes.""Which one?""A man of character doesn't brag about such things."Chaz was getting some Amazon nookie. I had to find a way to tell him how dangerous that was. She might decide he's make good father material, not a good thing where Amazons were concerned."Are all of his security personnel women?" Anais pressed."Miss Saint-Amour, Havenstone is a corporation that employs over ten thousand people. There are precisely five men currently on their payroll. All their security personnel are woman. Cáel has very limited, if any, input on the matter.""Are you sure about that?""Yes, Miss Saint-Amour. Who would trust a man of Cáel's dubious experience with his own security?" Chaz pointed out."Oh." She hadn't thought of that."Can you tell me why you think his life is in danger?""He is far more likely to be kidnapped than murdered. He possess certain sensitive data that powerful entities would like to access, thus I am his bodyguard tonight. Considering the quality of the women who normally guard him, I consider it an honor.""To guard Cáel, on a date?""He was kidnapped visiting a child at a playground. Yes, we believe his life is in constant peril. The training and experience of his security service is top flight and it has been a pleasure to serve among them.""Were you with him in Budapest and Romania?""The metro station?""Yes.""Yes.""Romania?""Do you mean the counterterrorism action south of Miercurea Ciuc?""Yes.""Yes."Wow, these two were lousy communicators. I could imagine Chaz propositioning one of my Amazons.Chaz: 'You have a superior feminine physique which I find appealing. Want to fuck?'Amazon: 'You look like you have the prerequisite stamina and battle scars to be part of the New Directive. Sure.'"Were you involved in the actual combat? The SRR is normally an intelligence gathering unit.""I was gathering battlefield intelligence, Miss. That required my close proximity to armed and actively hostile enemy aliens (as in they were in Romania illegally, not that they were all supernatural beings). My involvement resulted in two KIA's and one WIA.""Damn Chaz, you rock.""I am a professional.""How many did Pamela gak?""One KIA.""Just one? Whoa, that's so unlike her.""She kept trying to bracket the cell leader (aka Ajax). He had the Devil's Own Luck.""Cáel, why are you making light of all those deaths?" Anais chastised me. "How many terrorists did you wound, or kill?""I wounded one guy.""That is disingenuous," Chaz chided me. "You orchestrated the operation, showed tactical expertise in seizing the most critical terrain feature and engineered the death of the terrorist leader.""My Cáel did that? When I knew him, he was adverse to violence," Anais shook her head."Considering the considerable number of people he's killed, he's still adverse to physical confrontation where his own life is involved. But God help you if you threaten someone he is close to, though. He's the man who can get things done when the team is in a pinch.""Cáel, what happened to you?" she didn't sound upset at all."I learned to care for people beyond my immediate interest, you know, actual long-term relationships," with the unspoken 'as opposed to women I'm currently having sex with'."It took you long enough," she snipped. Reference her being a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.The interrogation was put on hold while we entered the restaurant and,"Mr. Nyilas?" the maytre dee greeted me."Yes.""We will get you a table right away," he nodded obsequiously. What the hell was up with that? Where was my two hour wait time? Oh yeah, I was a minor, fifteen seconds of fame celebrity."Will Ms. Sulkanen be joining you this evening?""No. She had to oversee a packaged Erythrosine-monosaccharides explosion in Boca Raton. Flaming plastic pink flamingo bits were raining down everywhere. I imagine it is taking an Everest-sized load of hush money to keep this out of the media," I replied. I was so eerily sincere, he bought it and a look of horror snuck over his face. I had become the public face of corporate malfeasance."Your table (gulp) is ready, Sir," he began to sweat. He took us to our table for four then beat a hasty retreat. Undoubtedly his civic-mindedness would have him calling up TMZ within a minute. After all, it was unlikely he owned any plastic pink flamingos, or invested in their construction. Once he was gone, Chaz let a thin smile break through his hard-earned military unfazed-ability."What exactly are packaged Erythrosine-monosaccharides?" he inquired."Packaged is self-explanatory. Erythrosine is pink food coloring and monosaccharides are,""Sugar," Anais frowned."Exploding pixie sticks, I have nieces and nephews. You are a genius at misdirection, Mr. Nyilas," he nodded."Thank you, Color Sergeant Tomorrow. It is nice to be appreciated for my bizarre and useless preoccupation," I grinned."You practice lying?" Anais' view of me dimmed."Miss, he excels at extraneous, outrageous utterances. No harm is intended.""Things like I was helping her find her contact lenses?" That had been my excuse when caught coming out of Maya's apartment. Sadly, Anais is highly perceptive and knew the lady didn't wear contacts. The copious female aroma wafting off me certainly hadn't helped."That's unfair," I countered. "Back then, I was a college nitwit suffering from undiagnosed nymphomania. I'd like to think I'm getting better."" tes-vous mieux?" she retorted in French."Je suis assez intelligent pour aller vers vous lorsque des vies  taient sur la ligne." That's right, Anais. When my life and the lives of others were on the line, she was the first one I thought to call. Letting a woman know that you admire her profession, professionalism and reliability never hurts."Are you really a nymphomaniac?" she returned to English. French is the language of sex, as is any derivative of Sanskrit, Farsi and Portuguese. Reference the multitude of Indians, the hotness of Persian women and the outpouring of lust that is Brazil."I had a magnetoencephalography recently. The neuroscientists didn't know what to make of my brain patterns. I appear to be somewhat unique in my madness."She didn't believe me. I didn't blame her. No one really likes hearing a truth they don't want to accept."Here," I leaned forward and pointed to the tiny divot in my forehead. "I was stabbed with a needle in the skull. That is why they looked at me, not because of my sexual malfunction."She touched it to makes sure. We were interrupted by the waiter stopping by to see if we were ready to order yet."We will have three of the most expensive appetizers, dinners, deserts and wines," Anais preempted us. Ugh. I was either a millionaire by the wonders of Havenstone accounting, or broke. I foolishly never looked into such things, never having had much money before. I needed a distraction."Hey Chaz, nice suit," was what came to mind. It was a swell masterpiece of the tailoring arts I hadn't expect from a ground-pounder from a family of ground-pounders serving Queen and Country for generations."Thank you. Pamela picked it out for me, suspecting an event such as this would transpire. She told me you paid for it," Chaz answered."I did?""I made the reasonable deduction that she forged your signature on whatever medium was used for payment," he shrugged, "in the same way she exhibits a criminal tendency toward every other aspect of her life.""What does Pamela look like?" Anais glowered."She's his grandmother," Chaz responded politely. "They make quite the pair. Normally we don't let them alone in the same room. Bad things happen.""Bad things?""Things like that scenic hostel being reduced to ruin," he enlightened her."This is the supposed assassin?""Retired assassin," Chaz corrected her. "So far she's only, what is the term you two use?" he looked at me."Sending a Get-Well card to their next of kin? Pumping up the volume? Making a critical attitude adjustment? Retroactively revoking their lease on life? We have a few.""Yes, those. Pamela has assured the team director that she no longer accepts assignments of a murderous nature. These days she only practices her skills on those we determine are a threat to the greater endeavor," he explained."She murders people? You all murder people?" Anais furrowed her brow. "Cáel, do you engage in these activities?""What? Who? Me? No!" I waved off any conspiratorial associations. "The vast majority of people I've killed was totally by accident.""How do you accidently kill people?" she pierced my soul with her voice."Okay, I let them kill themselves because warning them would have resulted in me and some friends meeting very immediate violent ends," I pleaded."Miss Saint-Amour, I've talked to trustworthy people who were on the scene when this happened. It was a paramilitary action with the lives of children on the line. Cáel acted to save the lives of innocents," Chaz defended me. That is what Anais wanted to believe; that I was basically a decent human being. I was a pig, but a courageous one. I had confronted her after my infidelity, on the other side of the US/Canadian border where her jurisdiction didn't apply.I knew my revelations were hideously hard to believe. In my favor, I had been in dangerous places doing dangerous things. The Metro firefight had been captured on the place's security system (which had been leaked to the public thus leading to some delusional admirers into thinking I would make a great new King of Hungary even though they hadn't had a monarch since 1918 nor was I from the right (Hapsburg) family. In case this whole Havenstone thing came crashing down in flames, I needed to keep my options open).There had been a bomb threat at Mindszent which I had reputable sources call in (and where I had admittedly hung out with a few of the women who saved me from an earlier disaster) and Miercurea Ciuc had made the international news. Well over 100 people had died and some of the terrorists were still at large. The Romanian government declared I had been 'instrumental' in the confrontation without saying what 'instrumental' meant.I was heroically vague, more mature than where we left off and clearly incited pussy-twitching memories. We'd once fucked so continuously hard and long one weekend that neither one of us could stand until an hour after we stopped. Anais was well worth the pain I was contemplating. Sex with her wasn't the pain I was worried about. It was dodging all her calls afterwards. Once again reference her being a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.Oh, how did I know she was reveling in our past coital moments? She hadn't walked out on me yet. She hadn't walked out when she found Odette in my domicile, when she met Juanita, or when she found out that I worked with highly experienced killers as part of my new daily routine.Normally Anais was smarter than this and had a career in law enforcement to contemplate. Lastly, she hadn't asked to be armed, despite getting permission from the NYPD. Had she decided to get a gun, Anais was sure in her hormonally-cascading mindset she would have shot me by now. I incite all kinds of passion in women. It is a curse.The rest of dinner was unremarkable. Anais continued to interrogate Chaz who proved that he was both skilled in counter-interrogation techniques and not willing to spill anymore secrets about what anyone at JIKIT did. However he had provided her with every logical reason to beat feet back across the Canadian border and she hadn't taken the hints about what a disaster sleeping with me could be.We drove Anais back to her motel, then Chaz and I headed home in silence. Despite his earlier declarations, he knew how to drive the 'right' way all along. As he was letting me out in front of my building, he gave me this pleasant warning."I'm not going to lecture you about not going back there, or avoiding the crazy ones. You already know better and are going back by her place anyway. I do advise that whatever you do, don't let her restrict your movements in any way. She's likely to make you pay double for your past indiscretions and take payment out on your cock. Good luck, Mate.""Wait," I stopped him. "Can you help me hotwire her bike? I can use that as an excuse to darken her doorway.""Dolt," he muttered. He helped me anyway because that's what really good friends do ~ assisting you in your self-destruction so we could joke about it later. At least that was what I hoped was going on. Chaz being a closet sadist was an unsettling idea. I didn't get to immediately pursue my plan because,(We work for you, don't we?)At 9 am, the President of the United States of America, after a late night briefing and a good night's sleep, decided that for the sake of world peace he had to intervene in Southeast Asia ~ Thailand to be specific, though he had some vague notion that a summit of regional leaders was in the offing and the US needed to establish some sort of game plan instead of looking impotent and disinterested.Based on carefully selected bits of information supplied to him by us (JIKIT), he ordered two carrier taskforces to move to the Gulf of Thailand to enforce an anticipated UN arms embargo and 'No-Fly Zone'. It would take four days (September 3rd) for Carrier Strike Group Nine (built around the USS Ronald Reagan) and the 11th Marine Expeditionary Unit (2,200 souls) to take up a position in the South China Sea close to the Gulf of Thailand. By fortuitous circumstance, 500 Marines and sailors were already deployed to Malaysia on a joint training mission with the Malaysian Marines.The second one, the USS Carl Vinson's Carrier Strike Group One wouldn't arrive until the 9th, six days later. What the US government wanted to know was what the Khanate and Vietnam would do in those long, lonely six days. The Khanate had as many modern, up-to-date combat aircraft on Woody Island as the Reagan could send up. The Vietnamese could add another 48 planes worth worrying about.There was the added complication that Thailand hadn't asked for help yet. His experts (us again) were suggesting that he was about to wake up one morning and find Khanate tanks rolling down the streets of Bangkok, which

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Ken Ham on SermonAudio
Why Does Creation Groan?

Ken Ham on SermonAudio

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2025 1:00


A new MP3 sermon from Answers in Genesis Ministries is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Why Does Creation Groan? Subtitle: Answers with Ken Ham Speaker: Ken Ham Broadcaster: Answers in Genesis Ministries Event: Radio Broadcast Date: 3/20/2025 Length: 1 min.

Ken Ham on SermonAudio
Why Does Creation Groan?

Ken Ham on SermonAudio

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2025 1:00


A new MP3 sermon from Answers in Genesis Ministries is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Why Does Creation Groan? Subtitle: Answers with Ken Ham Speaker: Ken Ham Broadcaster: Answers in Genesis Ministries Event: Radio Broadcast Date: 3/20/2025 Length: 1 min.

Answers with Ken Ham
Why Does Creation Groan?

Answers with Ken Ham

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025


Christians look forward to the day when there'll be a new heavens and earth. But why do we need this restoration?

Faithful & Just. With all things being relational!

I say this: If there is a time when you think you don't see God's hand in a matter, trust in His heart. God knows and sees the whole picture. Trust that He knows what is best.

Daily Dad Jokes
Dad Jokes Explained | Graeme Klass explains why these 21 dad jokes are so groan-worthy.

Daily Dad Jokes

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2025 13:43 Transcription Available


Dad Jokes Explained Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: C-J-P-, biggest-head887, Ok_Presence36, Masselein, Ryde29, WoundedWorrier, history_fan69, BudGardener, prankerjoker, AllUpInYourAO, Man-e-questions, PortugalDoesntExist, pizzaauananas, Yaguajay, GiborDesign, Ryde29, Realistic-Twist-3112, ThePingSpike, TheQuietKid22, ilikesidehugs, draadhaai Explanations from OpenAI ChatGPT API with proprietary prompts. This podcast is produced by Klassic Studios See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Don't Stop Us Now! Podcast
Our Chat with Chat - ChatGPT Advanced Voice Mode

Don't Stop Us Now! Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2025 24:26


Drumroll . . .our episode this week features a world famous guest who needs no introduction. After detailed negotiations with their agent ;-) we're thrilled to share that our guest is none other than ChatGPT Advanced Voice Mode. Since launching in the 3rd quarter of last year, Open AI's ChatGPT Advanced Voice Mode has been transforming how people interact with AI. It's played countless roles – from life coach to confidant, knowledge companion to conversation practice partner. And now? We're adding 'podcast guest' to its extensive repertoire!We approached our unique conversation with this famous ‘synthetic' guest as both a test drive and a demonstration; taking ChatGPT for a ‘spin' and letting you experience its capabilities in real-time. You'll hear Chat switch between languages effortlessly, offer predictions and insights about adapting to tomorrow's workplace, and even attempt some dad jokes. Groan! (We apologise in advance!)Through some persistent questioning, we also uncovered what might be previously unreported usage data. Is it a world-first revelation or an AI hallucination? Only OpenAI knows for sure!We're confident you'll find this conversation as fun and intriguing as we did. So settle in and enjoy this episode featuring our first-ever synthetic guest, ChatGPT.Useful Info for trying Advanced Voice Mode yourself: Advanced Voice Mode is easy to access. You open your ChatGPT app and you'll see a button on the bottom right that has white zigzag bars with a black background - it's called the Wavelength icon. Click on this and you can get started. It's worth noting that ChatGPT free users have limited access. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Trellis Podcast
21 Days of Prayer & Fasting | Day 13 - For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling.

The Trellis Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2025 9:28


Today's Passage: 2 Corinthians 5:5-9. And [the Lord] said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, the sound of a low whisper.Today's Prayer: Lord, I pray that you would give us the ability to notice how your Holy Spirit is moving in our lives in this season of prayer and fasting. Help us to understand our circumstances through the lens of your truth and interpret our present experience in light of your eternal perspective. Allow our longings to lead us into deeper relationship with you and each other. Give us grace to love and serve you, now and forever. Amen.NOTES & LINKS:21 Days of Prayer & Fasting WebsiteSubscribe to the 21 Days of Prayer & Fasting NewsletterPDF Guide to Prayer & FastingAs Part of the 21 Days, we are committing to 24/7 prayer during this time. Sign up for a time slot here.

Calvary Heritage
Absence Make the Heart Groan Harder Part 2 Your Yes, His Test //  1 Thes 5:12-22  // January 19, 2025

Calvary Heritage

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2025


Calvary Heritage
Absence Makes the Heart Groan Harder // 1 Thes. 5:12-22 // January 12, 2025

Calvary Heritage

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2025 38:14


The Drunk Guys Book Club Podcast
Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake

The Drunk Guys Book Club Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2024 55:10


The Drunk Guys's beer drinking peake's this week when they read Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake. They also have the merve to drink: As the World Burns by KCBC and 120 Minute IPA by Dogfish Head. Join the Drunk Guys on Tuesday for Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut. The

Secret Mum Club with Sophiena
The Great Groan

Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2024 53:39


Soph's back on the house renovations this week, flexing her savant flat pack skills, while Emma's been dealing with manual baby evacuations. Plus, we hear from one mum whose itchy leg shenanigans ended up not being stealthy at all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Articles by Desiring God
We Groan for Home: Waiting and Hoping Like Children of God

Articles by Desiring God

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2024 10:10


Jon Bloom | Christians can only be so happy in this world. Even our best seasons are accompanied by groanings for a home beyond this world.

The Boredroom
127. What's a Groan Tube? *OUUAUUAOH* (feat. Bri Nibbe)

The Boredroom

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2024 86:01


State Symbol or Not That Simple Sushi or Sex 3.0 Gram or Sham Cocktail or Floptail Follow TBRPC, Wyatt, Kyle, and Jordan: Instagram: @theboredroom_podcast, @wyattpeakedinhs, @kylegengineering, & @jordanlindley96 Twitter: @wyattpeakedinhs Spotify: Desk Job. & Jordan Lindley Join The Discoredroom (Discord) Subscribe to Guilty Dogs Productions on YouTube

The Perez Hilton Podcast with Chris Booker
Does Taylor Swift Deserve Donald Trump's Hate? Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez Reunited! Chappell Groan! Justin TimberLAME! Cardi B, Jane's Addiction, Prince Harry And MORE!

The Perez Hilton Podcast with Chris Booker

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2024 43:41 Transcription Available


All hell has broken loose! Donald Trump attacks Taylor Swift! Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck made a VERY PUBLIC outing together! Chappell Roan is heading down the wrong path! Justin Timberlake is so entitled and ick! Britney Spears has some of her fans worried! And more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joni and Friends Radio
God's Promise in Romans 8

Joni and Friends Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2024 4:00


Sometimes trusting in God doesn't come naturally. You must choose to exercise faith. -------- Thank you for listening! Your support of Joni and Friends helps make this show possible.   Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Become part of the global movement today at www.joniandfriends.org.   Find more encouragement on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube.

F**kface
500 Groan Tubes // Dying In Every Universe [198]

F**kface

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2024 79:50


Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew address the company closure as well as talk about the Ratyboy announcement, McDonald's salt delivery, Eric taking a phone call mid-record, the groan tube, who can clog a toilet quicker, the amount of merch inventory that will be leftover, the cheese trophy, no one can take Ian from us, Oscar movie reviews, Woman with the Red Lipstick, Andrew's moms opinion on Poor Things, Emma Stone's nipples, search engines, ancient Hotmail, catching a rubber pop up toy in between your buttcheeks, Andrew stepping in the trash bin, dying in other universes, magazine prices, and more. Sponsored by Shopify http://shopify.com/face , Füm https://tryfum.com/FACE , Factor http://factormeals.com/face50 code face50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices