Podcasts about Accounting

One of the world's oldest surviving novels was a queer book?!Today we meet Neil Laird and we're talking about the queer book that saved his life: The Satyricon by Petronius.Neil is a multiple Emmy-nominated Executive Producer who has worked extensively on both the network and production side of non-fiction TV since 1997. He's developed, overseen, and produced over 1,000 hours of non-fiction programs and specials in nearly every genre, with a particular passion, expertise, and contacts in history, archaeology, and international exploration. He write a series of satirical adventure novels: Prime Time Travelers, Prime Time Pompeii, and, the forthcoming Prime Time Troy. They're all about a time-traveling TV crew uncovering forgotten LGBTQ voices from the past.Petronius (20 C.E. - 66 C.E.) served as a Governor in the Roman Empire and ultimately as Consul, the most powerful position in the Empire. When he left public service, Emperor Nero named him the Arbiter Elegantiae, or master of elegance. A prominent writer, Petronius is considered the likely author of The Satyricon.Connect with Neilwebsite: neillaird.cominstagram: @primetimeauthorfacebook: facebook.com/neil-laird-authorOur BookshopVisit our Bookshop for new releases, current bestsellers, banned books, critically acclaimed LGBTQ books, or peruse the books featured on our podcasts: bookshop.org/shop/thisqueerbookBuy your copy of The Satyricon here: https://bookshop.org/a/82376/9780806144382For the forthcoming Prime Time Troy, as well as Prime Time Travelers and Prime Time Pompeii, check this out: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Neil-Laird/author/B0CYJ7HDB4Become an Associate Producer!Become an Associate Producer of our podcast through a $20/month sponsorship on Patreon! A professionally recognized credit, you can gain access to Associate Producer meetings to help guide our podcast into the future! Get started today: patreon.com/thisqueerbookCreditsHost/Founder: John ParkerExecutive Producer: Jim PoundsAssociate Producers: Archie Arnold, K Jason Bryan and David Rephan, Bob Bush, Natalie Cruz, Troy Ford, Jonathan Fried, Paul Kaefer, Joe Perazzo, Bill Shay, and Sean SmithPatreon Subscribers: Stephen D., Terry D., Stephen Flamm, Ida Göteburg, Thomas Michna, Sofia Nerman, and Gary Nygaard.Creative and Accounting support provided by: Gordy EricksonQuatrefoil LibraryQuatrefoil has created a curated lending library made up of the books featured on our podcast! If you can't buy these books, then borrow them! Link: https://libbyapp.com/library/quatrefoil/curated-1404336/page-1Support the show

Avoiding your numbers? This episode is your gentle but honest financial reset. Lauren Tilden sits down with Leah McCool of Orca Accounting to break down bookkeeping basics, common mistakes, and how understanding your numbers can actually feel empowering—not scary. If you want a calmer, clearer, more sustainable business (without drowning in spreadsheets), this is a must-listen.NEXT EPISODE→ It's Time to Pay Yourself | Book Club | ‘Profit First' by Mike Michalowicz | 109THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR→ Special Xero offer: Get 90% off for 6 months using this link. Terms and conditions apply.SHOW NOTES→ 319: The Full Show Notes PageFROM LEAH→  The Bookkeeping Starter Pack→  Leah's website→  InstagramWHEN YOU'RE READY

In this episode of the Manufacturing Culture Podcast, host Jim Mayer speaks with Danny Gonzales, a media expert in the manufacturing sector. They discuss the importance of storytelling and digital marketing in changing perceptions of manufacturing, the impact of AI on content creation, and the need for a strong organizational culture. Danny shares his journey into the industry, the challenges manufacturers face in marketing, and the significance of vulnerability in leadership. The conversation highlights the evolving landscape of manufacturing and the opportunities for growth through effective communication and engagement.TakeawaysManufacturing is often perceived negatively, but it has a lot of creativity and innovation.Storytelling can change the perception of manufacturing and highlight its impact.Many manufacturers are unaware of the positive effects they have on the world.AI is democratizing content creation, making it accessible to all companies.A strong organizational culture is essential for attracting and retaining talent.Marketing strategies often lack a clear direction and understanding of the customer.Vulnerability in leadership can build trust and improve company culture.Internal and external communications should align to reflect company values.The manufacturing industry needs to overcome outdated narratives to attract new talent.Knowledge transfer from experienced workers to younger generations is crucial for the industry's future.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Manufacturing Culture Podcast01:13 The Excitement of Industrial Marketing Summit03:07 Danny Gonzalez's Unique Perspective on Life06:53 Defining Culture in the Manufacturing Context09:19 Danny's Journey from Accounting to Video Production12:08 The Wonder of Manufacturing Facilities14:09 Overcoming Negative Perceptions in Manufacturing17:41 The Importance of Authentic Storytelling19:50 The Shift in Manufacturing Narratives21:29 The Role of AI in Content Creation24:06 The Rise of Generative AI in Marketing26:38 Authenticity in AI-Driven Storytelling28:17 Balancing Human and AI Content32:43 Common Pitfalls in Industrial Marketing34:39 Leveraging Company Culture in Storytelling39:12 Vulnerability and Transparency in Manufacturing40:57 Future Success Metrics for Industrial Marketing

Will IRS agents have to watch OnlyFans to police the new “no tax on tips” deduction? Blake and David unpack the wild twist: a study showing that women-led audit teams deliver higher-quality work at lower fees, and why AI could finally kill the billable hour. They hit PCAOB's AI/PE crackdown, KPMG's AI exam cheating, AI‑written financial reports, Meta's off‑balance‑sheet data center, the IRS Math Act, and new child investment accounts. Walk away with policy context and practical tech takeaways.SponsorsOnPay - http://accountingpodcast.promo/onpayACFE - http://accountingpodcast.promo/acfe Cloud Accountant Staffing - http://accountingpodcast.promo/casChapters(01:15) - New Tax Deduction for Digital Content Creators (02:27) - IRS Agents and OnlyFans Content (04:39) - IRS Telework Policy Changes (06:15) - Earmark CPE and Listener Interaction (09:25) - President's Statement on Federal Income Tax (13:15) - IRS Math Act and Senator Justice's Tax Issues (16:03) - Trump Accounts and PCAOB Scrutiny on AI (24:20) - Audit Quality and Gender Diversity (28:30) - KPMG AI Cheating Scandal (30:51) - AI's Impact on Time Savings in Various Industries (32:56) - The Role of AI in Accounting and Its Limitations (34:26) - AI in Financial Reporting and Business Processes (36:44) - The Decline of the Billable Hour Due to AI (47:01) - Meta's Controversial Accounting Practices (50:56) - Pilot's New Partner Program for Accountants (58:58) - Conclusion and Final Thoughts  Show NotesComing soon!Need CPE?Get CPE for listening to podcasts with Earmark: https://earmarkcpe.comSubscribe to the Earmark Podcast: https://podcast.earmarkcpe.comGet in TouchThanks for listening and the great reviews! We appreciate you! Follow and tweet @BlakeTOliver and @DavidLeary. Find us on Facebook and Instagram. If you like what you hear, please do us a favor and write a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. Call us and leave a voicemail; maybe we'll play it on the show. DIAL (202) 695-1040.SponsorshipsAre you interested in sponsoring The Accounting Podcast? For details, read the prospectus.Need Accounting Conference Info? Check out our new website - accountingconferences.comLimited edition shirts, stickers, and other necessitiesTeePublic Store: http://cloudacctpod.link/merchSubscribeApple Podcasts: http://cloudacctpod.link/ApplePodcastsYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAccountingPodcastSpotify: http://cloudacctpod.link/SpotifyPodchaser: http://cloudacctpod.link/podchaserStitcher: http://cloudacctpod.link/StitcherOvercast: http://cloudacctpod.link/OvercastClassifiedsWant to get the word out about your newsletter, webinar, party, Facebook group, podcast, e-book, job posting, or that fancy Excel macro you just created? Let the listeners of The Accounting Podcast know by running a classified ad. Go here to create your classified ad: https://cloudacctpod.link/RunClassifiedAdTranscriptsThe full transcript for this episode is available by clicking on the Transcript tab at the top of this page

Andres Costa and Emily Goodman have acquired four accounting practices since 2021, expanding from a single location to five offices with a team of ten. They break down their acquisition strategy, from finding deals and structuring payment terms to handling employee transitions and raising client fees. Roger and Annie dig into the hard realities of practice valuations, including why a $350,000 firm might only be worth $200,000 and what sellers need to fix before they can command top dollarSponsorsPadgett -  Contact Padgett or Email Jeff PhillipsGet NASBA Approved CPE or IRS Approved CELaunch the course on EarmarkCPE to get free CPE/CE for listening to this episode.Chapters(00:00) - Introduction and Greetings (00:52) - Meet the Special Guests: Andre and Emily (01:55) - The Importance of Acquiring Firms (02:46) - Starting the Acquisition Journey (07:11) - First Acquisition Experiences (13:16) - Evaluating Potential Firms (26:20) - Maintaining and Scaling Operations (33:22) - Structuring Acquisition Deals (33:59) - Client Retention Strategies (35:18) - Evaluating Firm Value (37:03) - Challenges with Small Firms (40:15) - Owner Financing Benefits (48:17) - Raising Client Fees (51:02) - Transitioning Clients and Employees (59:32) - Final Advice for Buyers and Sellers Follow the Federal Tax Updates Podcast on Social Mediatwitter.com/FedTaxPodfacebook.com/FedTaxPodlinkedin.com/showcase/fedtaxpodConnect with the Hosts on LinkedInRoger HarrisAnnie SchwabReviewLeave a review on Apple Podcasts or PodchaserSubscribeSubscribe to the Federal Tax Updates podcast in your favorite podcast app!This podcast is a production of Earmark MediaThe full transcript for this episode is available by clicking on the Transcript tab at the top of this pageAll content from this podcast by SmallBizPros, Inc. DBA PADGETT BUSINESS SERVICES is intended for informational purposes only.

“What does it actually mean to understand the brain?”Dr. Kendrick Kay is a computational neuroscientist and neuroimaging expert at the University of Minnesota's Center for Magnetic Resonance Research, where he is an Associate Professor in the Department of Radiology. With training spanning philosophy and neuroscience, from a bachelor's degree in philosophy at Harvard University to a PhD in neuroscience from UC Berkeley, Dr. Kay's work bridges deep theoretical questions with cutting-edge neuroimaging methods.In this conversation, Peter Bandettini and Kendrick Kay explore the evolving landscape of neuroscience at the intersection of fMRI, philosophy, and artificial intelligence. They reflect on the limits of current neuroimaging methodologies, what fMRI can and cannot tell us about brain mechanisms, and why creativity and human judgment remain central to scientific progress. The discussion also dives into Dr. Kay's landmark contributions to fMRI decoding and the Natural Scenes Dataset, a high-resolution resource that has become foundational for computational neuroscience and neuro AI research.Along the way, they examine deep sampling in neuroimaging, individual variability in brain data, and the challenges of separating neural signals from hemodynamic effects. Framed by broader questions about understanding benchmarking progress, and the growing role of LLM's in neuroscience, this wide-ranging conversation offers a thoughtful look at where the field has been and where it may be headed.We hope you enjoy this episode!Chapters:00:00 - Introduction to Kendrick Kay and His Work04:51 - Philosophy's Influence on Neuroscience17:17 - How Far Will fMRI Take Us?23:27 - Understanding Attention in Neuroscience30:00 - Science as a Process34:17 - The Role of Large Language Models (LLMs) in Scientific Progress38:29 - Why Humans Should Stay in the Equation40:30 - Creativity vs. AI in Scientific Research54:48 - Dr. Kay's Natural Scenes Dataset (NSD)01:00:27 - Deep Sampling: Considerations and Implications01:08:00 - Accounting for biological variation in Brain Scans: Differences and Similarities01:13:00 - Separating Hemodynamic Effects from Neural Effects01:16:00 - Areas of Hope and Progress in the field01:21:00 - How Should We Benchmark Progress?01:22:59 - Advice for Aspiring ScientistsWorks mentioned:54:48 -  https://www.nature.com/articles/s41593-021-00962-x54:50 - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166223624001838?via%3DihubEpisode producers:Xuqian Michelle Li, Naga Thovinakere

How difficult will it be to train and build an AI Agent that has expertise in a given domain? Will it happen in the next year, or 3 years or 10 years? And who will benefit in the marketplace from his evolution? SHOW: 984SHOW TRANSCRIPT: The Cloudcast #984 TranscriptSHOW VIDEO: https://youtube.com/@TheCloudcastNET CLOUD NEWS OF THE WEEK: http://bit.ly/cloudcast-cnotwCHECK OUT OUR NEW PODCAST: "CLOUDCAST BASICS"SHOW SPONSORS:[Mailtrap] Try Mailtrap for free[Interconnected] Interconnected is a new series from Equinix diving into the infrastructure that keeps our digital world running. With expert guests and real-world insights, we explore the systems driving AI, automation, quantum, and more. Just search “Interconnected by Equinix”.SHOW NOTESOpenAI looks to train their models to replace junior bankersWHAT WOULD BE THE STAGES OF AN EXPERT AGENT?Train it on a set of standard knowledge (e.g. Masters of Accounting, Auditing, International Tax)Train it on a set of well-defined case studies, to provide industry contextTrain it on a set of adjacent case studies and other domains (business, law, specific industries)How to train corner cases?How to train gray areas like ethics, morality, or cost-benefit analysis? Who is motivated to train these experts? What would the cost of these experts be? Can it be similar to a human, or need to be a fraction, or a premium? Is there a way to build memory (e.g. experience) without disclosing client information? Is there a way to build shareable knowledge between agents for reinforcement training/learning?FEEDBACK?Email: show at the cloudcast dot netTwitter/X: @cloudcastpodBlueSky: @cloudcastpod.bsky.socialInstagram: @cloudcastpodTikTok: @cloudcastpod

November 20, 2025 Everything Co-op launches its spotlight on the 2025 Innovation Award recipients with Michael Parker and Lindsey Lusher Shute, co-founders of Farm Generations Cooperative. In this interview, Michael and Lindsey discuss how Farm Generations empowers its members through GrownBy, their farmer-owned software platform, and how the Innovation Award will help advance their mission. Lindsey Lusher Shute co-founded the National Young Farmers Coalition and served as its executive director for a decade. She is also an owner of Hearty Roots Farm, a diversified vegetable and livestock farm in New York's Hudson Valley. During her tenure at Young Farmers, Lindsey built a national network of 150,000 farmers and advocates, advancing grassroots efforts around land access, conservation, credit, student debt, and farmer training. She has delivered keynote addresses at conferences nationwide. Michael Parker has built a diverse career spanning agriculture, food, entrepreneurship, and education. A first-generation farmer, he is currently developing a grassfed beef operation in Cooperstown, NY. Mike also works on land access and business services initiatives with the National Young Farmers Coalition and oversees a farm viability grant program and business planning course for the Massachusetts Department of Agricultural Resources. He holds a B.S. in Accounting and Operations Information Management from Georgetown University. Farm Generations Cooperative is dedicated to empowering local farmers and fostering transparency throughout the food supply chain. Blending innovative technology with agricultural traditions, the cooperative strives to create a more just and sustainable future for food producers and consumers alike. In 2019, the cooperative launched GrownBy, the first free, farmer-owned software platform designed for local farm sales. By connecting growers directly with customers across the country, GrownBy promotes fair, efficient exchanges and helps small farmers succeed collectively strengthening local communities and building a more resilient agricultural system. The Co-op Innovation Award honors organizations that strengthen food, housing, and worker co-ops. Each year, recipients receive up to $50,000 to expand cooperative development, drive shared prosperity, and build lasting community impact through innovative collaboration.

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

A punchline, a plane ticket, and a hallway recording in Boracay turned into a realisation: learning lands differently when you leave your routine. Aly and Andrew share how destination conferences change your headspace, why paying to be present makes you listen harder, and the simple systems that let you unplug without everything unravelling back home.They break down a practical roadmap for disconnecting before you go that can stop surprise escalations and resentment. You'll hear how handwritten notes and short reflection windows lock in retention, plus a lightweight process to digitise, summarise, and turn takeaways that you and your team can actually ship.Beyond the stage, we go deep on the art of conference connection. From beach networking to awards-night chats. Big firms and small shops alike face the same patterns at different scales; drop the ego and the room becomes a library. We also talk honestly about cost, value, and how adding a day on either side prevents your new ideas from getting drowned out the moment you land.So grab yourself a cocktail (or a mocktail) and join Aly and Andrew on their next accounting adventure and if you listen right to the very end there is a special little easter egg for you #yourwelcome.AAAAA IS PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY OUR SPONSORSTOA Global Dedicated outsourcing solutions for Accounting firms in the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, UK and across the globe.Practice and Pixels | A digital agency that creates new, original and authentic digital experiences for accountants and their current and future clients through brand design, website design and development, video production, creative design and strategic digital marketing for accountantsPlanet Consulting | We work with firm owners and managers who want to run better businesses and achieve their version of success. We have the experience and knowledge to help you get clear on what that success looks like for you and support and guide you on the journey to achieve itFOLLOW US ON THE SOCIALSwww.accountingadventures.com.auAccounting Adventures (@accadvpodcast) | InstagramAccounting Adventures | FacebookAccounting Adventures | LinkedInAly & Andrews All Aussie Accounting Adventures (@accadvpodcast) | X Email: podcast@accountingadventures.com.auCHECK US OUTALL IN Advisory | Your squad of award-winning accountants, tax wizards, and business visionaries, perfectly tailored to elevate your biz. Let's soar together! Illumin8 | Purpose-led cloud-driven accounting humansMUSICENTENTE (@ententemusic) | InstagramPRODUCTIONDavid Easton (@davidjeasty) | Instagram

Influence is becoming career insurance for professionals.Accounting VoicesWith Rob BrownThe accounting profession does not suffer from a lack of technical expertise. What it faces instead is a growing relevance gap. MORE Accounting Influencers with Rob Brown That tension sits at the center of Accounting Voices, the newly launched show formerly known as Accounting Influencers. Episode 1 opens a new season with a sharper focus and a clearer message: competence is assumed, but influence is what now protects careers.This is not a podcast about tax codes, audit standards, or software features. It is a show about the forces reshaping accounting and finance—and what professionals must do to stay ahead as those forces accelerate.

Story of the Week (DR):3 from Trump: Trump Orders SEC to Review Proxy Adviser Rules in ESG Rebuke AND Trump signs executive order for single national AI regulation standard, limiting power of states AND Trump says Netflix, WBD deal could be 'problem' as son-in-law Kushner backs Paramount bid Trump directed several federal agencies to tighten regulations on proxy advisers:The S.E.C. was ordered to review rules and guidelines regarding the industry, including revising or rescinding any related to diversity, equity and inclusion (known as D.E.I.) and environment, social and corporate governance (or E.S.G.).The F.T.C. and the attorney general were directed to examine state antitrust investigations into the companies to see if there was a “probable link” between those inquiries and potential violations of federal antitrust law.And the Labor secretary was told to review regulations about the fiduciary duties of proxy advisers and others who advise managers of certain employee retirement accounts.These firms “wield enormous influence over corporate governance matters,” the executive order reads, adding that they “regularly” use their power to “advance and prioritize radical politically motivated agendas” instead of focusing on shareholder returns.CEO Moves:Lululemon Athletica's C.E.O., Calvin McDonald, will step down as the athleisure clothing maker struggles to turn itself around. MMHis tenure had been criticized by the company's founder, Chip Wilson.The athleisure retailer said that Calvin McDonald will step down as CEO and board member, effective January 31. Lululemon CFO Meghan Frank and chief commercial officer André Maestrini will serve as interim co-CEOs while the company searches for a new leader.McDonald has served as CEO of Lululemon since 2018, during which time he built the company into a brand powerhouse. But the company has been underperforming for more than a year, with the weakness most apparent in its core North American markeTime to let a woman runInterim co-CEO: CFO Meghan FrankBoard chair Marti Morfitt (CEO of River Rock partners, Airborne, and CNS)Director Alison Loehnis (former president and ad interim CEO of Yoox Net-a-porter group)Levi Strauss CEO Michelle GassHorrible board skills:Economics and Accounting 34%Mechanical 19%Computers and Electronics 12%Sales and Marketing 5%Administrative 5%Coca-Cola names insider Henrique Braun as CEO, replacing James Quincey Quincey will transition to the role of executive chairmanDisney wants you to AI-generate yourself into your favorite Marvel movieThe media company is investing $1bn in OpenAI – and allowing its characters to be used in generated videosTech Billionaires Are Starting Private Cities to Escape the United StatesCoinbase CTO Balaji Srinivasan shared his vision for the “ultimate exit” by tech industry elites from the “failing” United States. “I think it's fair to say, in 2025, we have a movement”That movement is the rise of “startup societies,” a pro-corporate, anti-government coalition of tech magnates, libertarian idealists, and neoliberal economic theorists.As the Financial Times notes in new reporting on the phenomenon, the movement is indeed growing. What once was the stuff of dystopian fiction like the Bioshock franchise is now the task of some 120 startup societies throughout the world, each scrambling to erect specially-built cities to court billionaires who feel maligned by organized society.Goodliest of the Week (MM/DR):DR: Eileen Higgins will be Miami's first-ever woman mayorDemocrat Eileen Higgins is a sharp contrast to her predecessor, Republican Francis Suarez, who leaned into masculinity politics during his termBS in mechanical engineering from the University of New Mexico; MBA from Cornell University; country director of the Peace Corps in Belize; foreign service officer for the U.S. Department of State; Miami–Dade County CommissionerRepublican Francis Suarez: son of former Miami mayor Xavier Suarez; attorney with the law firm Greenspoon Marder, specializing in corporate and real estate transactionsDR: U.S. Court Strikes Down “Unlawful” Trump Ban on Wind Energy ProjectsA U.S. federal court struck down an executive order by President Trump aimed at freezing new wind energy developments across the country, agreeing with a coalition of 18 State Attorneys General that the administration's order was “arbitrary and capricious and contrary to law.”MM: Nintendo's 98% staff retention rate means the average employee has been there 15 yearsAssholiest of the Week (MM):Just sayin…RJ Scaringe, who recently got a mini Musk pay package and can afford a secretary: Rivian's CEO said self-driving cars shouldn't just be able to drive, but also run errands for you like a secretary: 5Joe Lonsdale, Stanford grad: Palantir cofounder calls elite college undergrads a ‘loser generation' as data reveals rise in students seeking support for disabilities, like ADHD: 7 Palantir Chief Legal Officer went to Stanford undergrad, Harvard for law school - and I bet he's a good lawyer: Palantir Sues CEO of Rival AI Firm, Alleges Widespread Effort to Poach Employees Cracker Barrel customers, average age of 340 year old: Cracker Barrel diners are sounding the alarm; here's what reportedly has them furious: 3One of those customers, 73-year-old Craig Watkins of Northern California, told the Journal he has watched the chain's quality fade and wants old staples and original maple syrup restored."I want pure syrup on pancakes, not that watered-down junk," he said, adding that he brings his own syrup when he visits.Craig, pure maple syrup is WOKEMark Cuban, billionaire: Billionaire Mark Cuban Says If You Want To Get Rich, Give Things Up—Drink Water Instead Of Coffee, Eat Mac & Cheese Not McDonald's, 'Save Every Penny': 5Jim Cramer, CEO sycophant: Billionaires Won't Save You,' Says Jim Cramer. 'They're Out For Themselves' And 'Never Apologize For Their Negativity': 5Jim Cramer on Meta CEO: “Zuckerberg Makes Elon Musk Look Like a Real Softy”Sam Altman, who forgets for 10,000 years babies were raised without AI: Sam Altman makes his late-night debut, says he can't imagine 'figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT': 9Elon Musk, manbaby: Elon Musk says the E.U. should be 'abolished'Alex Karp, who is trying desperately to stay in headlines: Palantir CEO Says Legalizing War Crimes Would Be Good for Business: 10Bob Iger word-salading his investment in OpenAI: ‘Creativity is the new productivity': Bob Iger on why Disney chose to be ‘aggressive,' adding OpenAI as a $1 billion partner: 7Honorable mention:Red Pill Apple - People moves: Former Meta CLO joins Apple as new general counselJennifer Newstead was at Meta from 2019, prior was an appointee of Trump 1.0 at Department of State and way back is partially credited with drafting the Patriot Act in Bush Jr (the act that allows the US to spy on everyone). Normally a move like this no one cares about, but shouldn't we? This is a new exec with a red pill, eye-in-the-sky history joining a company who literally sells privacy - they did a whole commercial about it that aired for a yearShe joins as Tim Cook keeps showing up at every bro-fest dinner with Trump, Musk, Huang, and all the other techlords of the universeHeadliniest of the WeekDR: Woman Hailed as Hero for Smashing Man's Meta Smart Glasses on Subway DR: Sam Altman makes his late-night debut, says he can't imagine 'figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT'Has he never heard of a library?MM: Project to Resurrect Dead Grandmas Sparks ControversyMM: When David Ellison was 13, his billionaire father Larry bought him a plane. He competed in air shows before leaving it to become a Hollywood executiveWho Won the Week?DR: Miami shareholdersMM: Miami, who got their first female mayor and the first democrat in 30 years, is overqualified, and was running against a nepo babyPredictionsDR: Lululemon still picks a man, because DEI is illegalMM: After reading this headline: Cracker Barrel stock drops after-hours as chain reports losses from 'unique and ongoing headwinds' - Robby Starbuck renames himself Unique and Ongoing Headwind Starbuck.

December 12, 2025 - Zach and Asheef discuss the current landscape of international value investing, focusing on the unique perspectives that come from investing outside the US.Asheef Lalani as an independent director to the board of Sailfish Royalty Corp. Mr. Lalani graduated from the University of Waterloo with a Bachelor of Mathematics and Masters of Accounting, earned the CA/CPA designation in 2002 and is a CFA charterholder since 2003. Asheef first started his career with PricewaterhouseCoopers in 1998 and went on to become a portfolio manager at UBS Securities. Currently, Mr. Lalani is the Chief Investment Officer at Berczy Park Capital – a private family office in Toronto, Canada.

Sami talks with Sam Landsberg, head of sales at Light (https://light.inc/), about the wide world of fintech and how they're working to simplify accounting software for businesses big and small. Sam lays out his journey into the world of fintech and how he came to work with Light, the way they utilise AI with clients to condense the human element of accounting, and Sami challenges Sam's knowledge of animals with a surprise pop quiz. — You can connect with Sam on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/samlandsberg/) or contact his company Light (https://light.inc/) if you're looking to refresh your accountancy software. Your host for this episode has been Sami Birnbaum. Sami can be found through his website (https://samibirnbaum.com) or via LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/samibirnbaum/). If you would like to support the show, head over to our GitHub page (https://github.com/sponsors/thoughtbot), or check out our website (https://podcast.thoughtbot.com). Got a question or comment about the show? Why not write to our hosts: hosts@giantrobots.fm This has been a thoughtbot (https://thoughtbot.com/) podcast. Stay up to date by following us on social media - LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/150727/) - Mastodon (https://thoughtbot.social/@thoughtbot) - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/thoughtbotvideo) - Bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/thoughtbot.com) © 2025 thoughtbot, inc.

It's YOUR time to #EdUp with Margery Kraus, Founder & Executive Chairman of APCO WorldwideIn this episode, recorded Live from the Middle States Commission on Higher Education⁠ 2025 Annual ConferenceYOUR cohost is Michael Fischer, Commissioner Middle States Commission on Higher Education⁠⁠, Professor of Accounting, Emeritus; former Provost & Vice President for Academic Affairs at St. Bonaventure UniversityYOUR host is ⁠⁠Dr. Joe SallustioHow does APCO Worldwide's 41 year old consulting firm with 1,200 people work at the intersection of business, government, public opinion & education to help institutions navigate troubled times & understand the "whys" behind federal policy changes?Why is now the time for optimism by reframing education through lifelong learning, non traditional students & collaboration between universities instead of perpetuating competitive institutional systems?How can higher ed create partnership between faculty & administrators, reimagine governance with accountability standards at every level & seize opportunities from policy changes rather than digging heels in?Listen in to #EdUpThank YOU so much for tuning in. Join us on the next episode for YOUR time to EdUp!Connect with YOUR EdUp Team - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Elvin Freytes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠& ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr. Joe Sallustio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠● Join YOUR EdUp community at ⁠The EdUp Experience⁠We make education YOUR business!P.S. Want to get early, ad-free access & exclusive leadership content to help support the show? Then ⁠⁠​subscribe today​⁠⁠ to lock in YOUR $5.99/m lifetime supporters rate! This offer ends December 31, 2025!

Alicia opens the floor to dozens of ProAdvisors, bookkeepers, and accounting professionals who answered one question at recent conferences: "If I could say one thing to Intuit, it would be..." From concerns about constant software changes and beta testing on live users, to fears about being abandoned as Intuit shifts focus to mid-market and AI, these unfiltered voices reveal the growing tension between a company chasing innovation and the community that built its foundation. The feedback ranges from gratitude to frustration, but one message comes through clearly: the ProAdvisors who made QuickBooks an industry leader are feeling left behind.SponsorsDigits - https://uqb.promo/digits(00:00) - Introduction and Overview (00:20) - Conference Recap and Key Questions (01:07) - Personal Reflections and Gratitude (02:15) - Addressing Criticism and Misconceptions (04:58) - Feedback from the Community (05:38) - AI and Future Features (09:21) - Concerns About Software Stability (11:00) - Call for Stability and Consistency (12:38) - Viral Facebook Rant (24:14) - ProAdvisors' Plea to Intuit (29:19) - Positive Feedback and Gratitude (32:52) - Upcoming Classes and Conclusion Alicia's upcoming classes: Running Reports in QBO, Dec 15: http://royl.ws/Reports?affiliate=5393907, Sponsored by Finatical's Flash Reports (https://finaticalsoftware.com/?utm_campaign=24527397-Royalwise&utm_source=royalwise)Advanced Reporting, Dec 16: royl.ws/advanced-reports?affiliate=5393907, Sponsored by Finatical's Flash Reports (https://finaticalsoftware.com/?utm_campaign=24527397-Royalwise&utm_source=royalwise)We want to hear from you!Send your questions and comments to us at unofficialquickbookspodcast@gmail.com.Join our LinkedIn community at https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14630719/Visit our YouTube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/@UnofficialQuickBooksPodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Sign up to Earmark to earn free CPE for listening to this podcasthttps://www.earmark.app/onboarding 

As the calendar turns to December, the temptation to slow down—or get lost in the holiday "noise"—is strong. But for the savvy dental practice owner, this month is a critical time for both defense and strategic planning.In this essential episode, we dive deep into the immediate steps you must take to protect your practice's financial health: we discuss closely monitoring overhead, optimizing insurance adjustments, and implementing smart tax management to maintain strong cash flow. Crucially, we also share actionable advice on prioritizing and planning ahead to successfully balance intense professional demands with your personal holiday commitments, preventing overwhelm and burnout.Interested in more info on how to: Earn More, Save More, and Retire EarlyUpcoming Tour Dates: Go to our EVENTS page for infoFacebook: Four Quadrants AdvisoryInstagram: @fourquadrantsadvisoryLinkedIn: Four Quadrants Advisory

Welcome to The SaaS CFO Podcast! In today's episode, host Ben Murray welcomes John Glasgow, founder and CEO of Campfire—a fast-growing, AI-powered ERP solution built for modern finance teams. John Glasgow shares his background, from early days in finance at Adobe to leading partnerships at Invoice2Go and the inspiration behind starting Campfire. Together, they explore the challenges of building a next-generation ERP, the role of AI in streamlining finance workflows, and Campfire's rapid rise—including raising $100 million and landing marquee customers in just two years. You'll hear insights on current trends in CFO tech stacks, best practices for disciplined growth, and why accounting is becoming more strategic than ever. Whether you're a SaaS founder, CFO, or just curious about the future of finance software, this episode is packed with honest lessons, actionable insights, and a look at what's next for Campfire and the industry at large. Show Notes: 00:00 "From Finance to Founding Campfire" 03:22 "Building the Modern ERP" 09:58 "Accelerating Growth in ERP Space" 11:44 "AI Growth and Rapid Funding" 14:37 "New Logo ARR Growth Focus" 17:21 "Building ERP: Focus and Conviction" 23:31 Capacity Planning and Growth Strategy 27:23 Finance Software Revolution Insights 28:54 "Ember AI: Agentic Workflows Evolution" Links: SaaS Fundraising Stories: https://www.thesaasnews.com/news/campfire-raises-3-5-million-in-seed-round https://www.thesaasnews.com/news/campfire-secures-35-million-in-series-a https://www.thesaasnews.com/news/campfire-raises-65-million-in-series-b John Glasgow's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnglasgow/ Campfire's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/meetcampfire/ Campfire's Website: https://campfire.ai/ To learn more about Ben check out the links below: Subscribe to Ben's daily metrics newsletter: https://saasmetricsschool.beehiiv.com/subscribe Subscribe to Ben's SaaS newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/df1db6bf8bca/the-saas-cfo-sign-up-landing-page SaaS Metrics courses here: https://www.thesaasacademy.com/ Join Ben's SaaS community here: https://www.thesaasacademy.com/offers/ivNjwYDx/checkout Follow Ben on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benrmurray

Get your FREE 7 Pricing Essentials for CPAs and EAs here:https://geraldinecarter.com/7What if scaling back didn't have to mean awkwardness or guilt?In this episode, Suzanne talks about how she reduced her hours, increased prices, and let go of not-fitting clients in a way that still felt kind — kind enough that she'd be perfectly happy to bump into past clients at the post office. If you're craving fewer hours but want to handle the transition with warmth and respect, this conversation shows exactly how that can look.…Link to full shownotes: https://www.businessstrategyforcpas.com/376…Want Pricing Essentials?If you feel trapped by your own accounting firm, it's not because of the work – it's how you've priced the work. Too many accountants are stuck in undercharging, overdelivering, and people-pleasing cycles. Break the pattern with my short PDF guide: 7 Pricing Essentials »It's free and you can read it in 5 minutes.I want to help you get your prices up without losing loyal clients.  …Want client interviews?310 From Exhausted to Having Her Life Back: Wendy Norman, CPA304 From 55 Down to 15 Hours; Same Take-Home Pay with Melissa Downs, EA293 What it Takes to Work 15 Hours per Week with Erica Goode, CPAComplete list:geraldinecarter.com/client-interview-episodes…FOUR ways I help overworked CPAs go down to 40 hours without losing revenue or hiring:THE EMAIL COURSE – Freegeraldinecarter.com/stop-working-weekendsStop Working Weekends will teach you how to reduce your hours without giving up revenue. THE BOOK – $9.99geraldinecarter.com/bookDown to 40 Hours – A Roadmap for CPAs to End Overworking Without Losing RevenuePEAK FREEDOM COMMUNITY – $197/mogeraldinecarter.com/peak-freedomFor solo and small accounting firm owners who want to rise above the insanity of hustle-cultureDOWN TO 40 HOURS ACCELERATOR – $995/mogeraldinecarter.com/40For the overworked CPA at multiple six figures of revenue who is ready to stop working weekends, wants to implement overdue changes, and doesn't want to do it alone. You'll make progress faster and with more confidence. … Get your FREE 7 Pricing Essentials for CPAs and EAs here:https://geraldinecarter.com/7

We look back at John Randolph's conversation with Roman Villard, co-founder of Full Send Finance, on Episode 83 of CPA Life. Sharing his journey from finance major to starting his own firm, Roman emphasizes the importance of a culture-forward approach and how that helped Full Send shoot out of the blocks, growing from zero to 12 full-time employees in just over two years. Roman leveraged technology to great effect, particularly improving employees' work-life balance, and he dives into discussing the things that have given Full Send cross-generational appeal. Hybrid working is a significant factor, along with a resonant brand narrative. This episode touches on so many vital aspects that can make or break the success of your own firm, so whether you missed this one the first time around, or just want a refresher, you'll definitely want to tune in now! Get the full show notes and more resources at CPALifePodcast.com

On this edition of Building the Premier Accounting Firm, Roger Knecht and Laura Shepherd, founder of Momentum BK, discuss pricing strategies for accounting firms, focusing on Shepherd's "Pricing with Purpose" philosophy.  Learn how to categorize services, build confidence, and avoid common pricing pitfalls to grow your accounting business. In This Episode: 00:00 Introduction to Pricing with Purpose 03:49 Categorizing Accounting Services for Pricing 08:42 Deep Dive into Service Categories 14:43 Mindset Shift for Accounting Professionals 19:05 Real-World Pricing Success Stories 24:38 The Importance of Confidence and Explanation 29:45 Entrepreneurial Journey and Gratitude 34:29 Future Goals and Elevating the Profession 38:40 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action 42:45 Podcast Conclusion and Resources Key Takeaways: Assess your services to define clear value for clients. Categorize offerings into task management, compliance, and advisory for transparent pricing. Adopt an entrepreneurial mindset to confidently set and explain your fees. Understand specific client needs and industry compliance for accurate pricing. Leverage clear communication to build client trust and increase revenue. Featured Quotes: "If I can't explain it, it doesn't exist." - Laura Shepherd "You're not a bookkeeper. You are an accounting entrepreneur who provides bookkeeping services." - Laura Shepherd "I want to create more opportunities to reach those people where they are." - Laura Shepherd Top 3 Highlights: Pricing with Purpose: Understand and articulate the value of your services to clients, moving beyond arbitrary fee setting. Service Buckets: Segment services into necessary, compliance-based, and advisory levels to offer clear, structured pricing. Entrepreneurial Mindset: Adopt the perspective of a business owner to manage profitability and confidently communicate your worth. Conclusion: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Building the Premier Accounting Firm with Roger Knecht. For more information on how you can establish your own accounting firm and take control of your time and income, call 435-344-2060 or schedule an appointment to connect with Roger's team here.   Sponsors: Universal Accounting Center Helping accounting professionals confidently and competently offer quality accounting services to get paid what they are worth.   Offers: With the purchase of the Pricing with Purpose Webinar & Workbook ($49.00) https://momentumbk.com/pricing And receive the bonus tool of "Pricing with Purpose Checklist". https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BPqND-4q8cHaY1_KE_5NptxwrWY8DL6r/view?usp=drive_link   Get a FREE copy of these books all accounting professionals should use to work on their business and become profitable.  These are a must-have addition to every accountant's library to provide quality CFO & Advisory services as a Profit & Growth Expert today: "Red to BLACK in 30 days – A small business accountant's guide to QUICK turnarounds" – This is a how-to guide on how to turn around a struggling business into a more sustainable model. Each chapter focuses on a crucial aspect of the turnaround process - from cash flow management to strategies for improving revenue. This book will teach you everything you need to become a turnaround expert for small businesses. "in the BLACK, nine principles to make your business profitable" – Nine Principles to Make Your Business Profitable – Discover what you need to know to run the premier accounting firm and get paid what you are worth in this book, by the same author as Red to Black – CPA Allen B. Bostrom. Bostrom teaches the three major functions of business (marketing, production and accounting) as well as strategies for maximizing profitability for your clients by creating actionable plans to implement the nine principles. "Your Strategic Accountant" - Understand the 3 Core Accounting Services you should offer as you run your business. help your clients understand which numbers they need to know to make more informed business decisions. "Your Profit & Growth Expert" - Your business is an asset. You should know its value and understand how to maximize it. Beginning with the end in mind helps you work ON your business to build a company you can leave so that it can continue to exist in your absence or build wealth as you retire and enjoy the time, freedom, and life you want and deserve.     In addition to becoming an author, see what you can do to follow the Turnkey Business plan for accounting professionals.  After more than 40 years we've identified the best practices of successful accountants and this is a presentation we are happy to share.  Check it out and see what you can do to be in business for yourself but not by yourself with Universal Accounting Center.   It's here you can become a:   Professional Bookkeeper, PB Professional Tax Preparer, PTP Profit & Growth Expert, PGE   Next, join a group of like-minded professionals within the accounting community.  Stay up-to-date on current topics and trends and see what you can do to also give back, participating in relevant conversations as they relate to offering quality accounting services and building your bookkeeping, accounting & tax business.   The Accounting & Bookkeeping Tips Facebook Group The Universal Accounting Fanpage Topical Newsletters: Universal Accounting Success The Universal Newsletter   Lastly, get your Business Score to see what you can do to work ON your business and have the Premier Accounting Firm. Join over 70,000 business owners and get your score on the 8 Factors That Drive Your Company's Value.   For Additional FREE Resources for accounting professionals check out this collection HERE!   Be sure to join us for GrowCon, the LIVE event for accounting professionals to work ON their business. This is a conference you don't want to miss.   Remember this, Accounting Success IS Universal. Listen to our next episode and be sure to subscribe.   Also, let us know what you think of the podcast and please share any suggestions you may have.  We look forward to your input: Podcast Feedback   For more information on how you can apply these principles to start and build your accounting, bookkeeping & tax business please visit us at www.universalaccountingschool.com or call us at 8012653777  

Many owners struggle to make a profit and to pay themselves. This inevitably will lead to burn out and disillusionment and sadly for many closing down the shop before ever really seeing what it's potential could have been. Making money in your cafe has a lot to do with how well you track and manage what you already make. Enter the Profit First system and the coach who helps apply it to the world of coffee shops, Kim Logsdon! Kim Logsdon is a long time CFO and financial consultant who has worked with business owners and entrepreneurs for the past 30 years. She started her consulting journey in banking working with entrepreneurs and private equity advisors providing them with financial services and credit facilities to grow and expand their businesses organically and through acquisitions. Kim has also had substantial personal experience as an entrepreneur and business leader where she further deepened her expertise that her clients today rely on to help them navigate their own journeys.   Among the entrepreneurs Kim works with, she has a particular focus on coffee shops and coffee roasters to help them with cash flow issues and achieve financial stability through here personal caching using the Profit First methodology. She also help streamline operations with Pumpkin Plan business strategies and is launching the Money Habit Mentor program to help owners and team achieve financial freedom in their personal lives. In todays episode we will be discussing: What is Profit First and why might you need it Why do owners pay themselves last? Why managing money well and specifically is the key to stability How to go about applying this framework to your business How much should you be saving and investing? Common hurdles or points or resistance The real cost of not managing finances and the real profits to be had Links:  https://kimlogsdon.com/   Related episodes:  SHIFT BREAK! The Two Kinds of Margin You Need in the Cafe 202 : Mastering your Finances and Accounting w/ Keila Hill-Trawick of Little Fish Accounting 223 : Building a Financially Resilient Business w/ Andrew Carroll KEYS TO THE SHOP ALSO OFFERS 1:1 CONSULTING AND COACHING! If you are a cafe owner and want to work one on one with me to bring your shop to its next level and help bring you joy and freedom in the process then email  chris@keystothshop.com or book a free call now:  https://calendly.com/chrisdeferio/30min  SPONSORS Want a beautiful coffee shop? All your hard surface, stone, Tile and brick needs!  www.arto.com Visit @artobrick The world loves plant based beverages and baristas love the Barista Series!  www.pacificfoodservice.com  

The PCAOB recently released new staff guidance on paragraph .10A of AS 1105, Audit Evidence, including illustrative examples that can help audit firms implement the requirements. This is particularly important given the growing use of artificial intelligence. *** This episode qualifies for nano CPE credit. Find out more at https://njcpa.org/nano. *** Resources:PCAOB Staff Guidance: Examples of Evaluating of Reliability of External Information Provided by the Company in Electronic FormAccounting and auditing articles and eventsJoin the Accounting & Auditing Standards Interest Group

Economist Paul Milgrom is celebrated for his Nobel Prize-winning work on auction theory and design. But he has published a wide range of other innovative, influential research throughout his career – including a book and articles emerging from his 1991-92 CASBS fellowship. Gani Aldashev (CASBS fellow, 2024-25) engages Milgrom on highlights of this often-collaborative or cross-disciplinary work on organizational behavior, the institutional roots of trust and cooperation, social choice for environmental policy, and more.PAUL MILGROM: Stanford faculty page | Personal website | Nobel Prize page | Nobel bio | Wikipedia page| CASBS page |Gani Aldashev: Georgetown faculty page | CASBS page | Google Scholar page |PAUL MILGROM WORKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Economics, Organization, and Management (Prentice Hall, 1992), coauthored with John Roberts (CASBS fellow, 1991-92)"Multitask Principal-Agent Analyses: Incentive Contracts, Asset Ownership, and Job Design," The Journal of Law, Economics, and Organization (1991), coauthored with Bengt Holmstrom"Complementarities and Fit Strategy, Structure, and Organizational Change in Manufacturing," Journal of Accounting and Economics (1995), coauthored with John Roberts"Complementarities, Momentum, and the Evolution of Modern Manufacturing," The American Economic Review (1991), coauthored with Yingyi Qian, John Roberts"Complementarities and Systems: Understanding Japanese Economic Organization," Estudios Economicos (1994), coauthored with John Roberts"The Role of Institutions in the Revival of Trade: The Law Merchant, Private Judges, and the Champagne Fairs," Economics & Politics (1990), coauthored with Douglass North (CASBS fellow, 1987-88) and Barry Weingast (CASBS fellow, 1993-94)Learn about the Champagne Fairs on Wikipedia"Coordination, Commitment and Enforcement: The Case of the Merchant Guild," Journal of Political Economy (1994), coauthored with Avner Greif (CASBS fellow, 1993-94), Barry Weingast"Is Sympathy an Economic Value? Philosophy, Economics, and the Contingent Valuation Method," in Contingent Valuation: A Critical Assessment, J.A. Hausman, ed. (Elsevier, 1993)"Kenneth Arrow's Last Theorem," Journal of Mechanism and Institution Design (2024)Other works referenced in this episode:Oliver Williamson, The Economic Institutions of Capitalism: Firms, Markets, Relational Contracting (Mcmillan, 1985). Much of this book was written at CASBS during Williamson's 1977-78 CASBS fellowship.Works emerging from Milgrom's CASBS fellowshipsMilgrom's collaborations with, intellectual interactions with, or responses to other Nobel Prize winners in this episode:Oliver Williamson (CASBS fellow 1977-78, Nobel Prize 2009)Bengt Holmstrom (Nobel Prize 2016)Robert Wilson (CASBS fellow 1977-78, Nobel Prize 2020)Ronald Coase (CASBS fellow 1958-59, Nobel Prize 1991)Douglass North (CASBS fellow 1987-88, Nobel Prize 1993)Kenneth Arrow (CASBS fellow 1956-57, Nobel Prize 1972) Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences (CASBS) at Stanford UniversityExplore CASBS: website|Bluesky|X|YouTube|LinkedIn|podcast|latest newsletter|signup|outreach​Human CenteredProducer: Mike Gaetani | Audio engineer & co-producer: Joe Monzel |

Originally uploaded August 29th. Chris Holman welcomes Michelle Carley, CEO & Founder Big E-Z Bookkeeping, Livonia, MI. "Can you share the journey from your initial work in a factory to developing your own bookkeeping system? What pivotal moments led you to create a DIY accounting solution?" "Throughout your decades of experience, what are some of the most common financial management challenges that you've seen small businesses face, and how does your software address these specifically?" "With many small business owners lacking formal accounting training, how does your software simplify the bookkeeping process to make financial management more accessible?" "Tell me about your monthly Zoom guidance sessions. How do these interactions enhance the user experience and success with the software?" "Could you discuss some of the common mistakes you've seen in bookkeeping and how your system helps prevent these errors?" "In an era where collaboration and cost-efficiency are more important than ever for small businesses, how does your Google Sheets-based system facilitate these needs?" » Visit MBN website: www.michiganbusinessnetwork.com/ » Subscribe to MBN's YouTube: www.youtube.com/@MichiganbusinessnetworkMBN » Like MBN: www.facebook.com/mibiznetwork » Follow MBN: twitter.com/MIBizNetwork/ » MBN Instagram: www.instagram.com/mibiznetwork/ Michelle adds; Visit our website at bigez.com She's a guest the MBN team met at the SBAM Summit and Kalamazoo event. Big E-Z - Accounting Software Systems for Small Businesses, Nonprofits, Join our Free Ask the Expert - DIY Accounting Software webinar - the third Wednesday of each month at 2:30 p.m. EST. Streamline Your Bookkeeping–it's E-Z! Join us on a journey that helps you mas bigez.com To learn more about our software sign up for a free 14-day trial with custom set-up or get our forever-free invoicing tool. Let's get your business finances on track together!

Accounting firms everywhere are changing. Private equity takeovers. Mergers. Leadership shifts. Advisory growth. Partner exits. New models. Staff feel unstable confused and worried. In this episode Rob Brown explains why firms feel unpredictable right now and what you can do to stay relevant visible and secure during this major transition.KEY TAKEAWAYS Firms are changing for real structural reasons Instability does not mean your career is at risk Visibility matters during uncertainty Relevance beats hierarchy Your future is shaped by your choices not your firmYou can watch this on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/SnBcdEEnLMUCome and join our Accounting Voices Collective on Linkedin to find out more about our shows and virtual networking events: https://www.linkedin.com/company/accounting-voices◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢The Accounting Voices Podcast serves accounting firm leaders, managers and partners looking to build their executive presence, influence and credibility both internally and externally. Host Rob Brown delivers insights to help professionals strengthen their personal brand, stay informed about industry changes and navigate disruptive forces affecting accounting business models and trends. Check out the show on your preferred podcast app or platform, or go to the Accounting Voices YouTube channel for all of the episodes in video format. https://www.youtube.com/@accountingvoicesRob works with consultants/experts in the accounting space via personal interviews to create video snippets and thought leadership pieces. If you have success stories, valued expertise or a brand that needs amplifying, but lack the time to create thought leadership or video content, chat with Rob on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/therobbrownIf you'd like to sponsor the show and elevate your brand with our audience, reach out to show host Rob Brown on LinkedIn and his team will reach out to fix up a chat to explore.

Kick back with the Count Me In Podcast as Adam Larson chats with Carol Sargent, Associate Professor of Accounting at Mercer University, about her journey as both mentor and mentee in academia and industry. Carol shares candid stories, practical advice, and a few humorous moments from her decades of mentoring professionals and students. From building trust in mentor-mentee relationships to handling ethical dilemmas in high-pressure environments, Carol offers real-world wisdom and actionable tips. Whether you're just starting your career or looking to pay it forward, you'll find inspiration in Carol's down-to-earth approach to growing both professionally and personally. Don't miss this engaging conversation on emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the power of genuine connection.

Closure of the Lexington Beef Plant Cotton Season in Kansas Accounting for Agriculture   00:01:05 – Closure of the Lexington Beef Plant: Elliott Dennis, University of Nebraska-Lincoln livestock economist, kicks off the show as he explains details of the Lexington plant closure and its short- and long-term impacts.  Understanding the Tyson Plant Closure - UNL cap.unl.edu   00:12:05 – Cotton Season in Kansas: K-State Extension agronomist Logan Simon continues today's show as he highlights the cotton season, what Kansas cotton is used for and what research he is excited about.  eUpdate.agronomy.ksu.edu   00:23:05 – Accounting for Agriculture: Ending the show is Monica Baker Swarts, owner of Baker Professional Accounting Services, as she discusses how she has been supporting farmers around Pratt, Kansas and what she encourages people to keep in mind.      Send comments, questions or requests for copies of past programs to ksrenews@ksu.edu.   Agriculture Today is a daily program featuring Kansas State University agricultural specialists and other experts examining ag issues facing Kansas and the nation. It is hosted by Shelby Varner and distributed to radio stations throughout Kansas and as a daily podcast.   K‑State Extension is a short name for the Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Service, a program designed to generate and distribute useful knowledge for the well‑being of Kansans. Supported by county, state, federal and private funds, the program has county Extension offices statewide. Its headquarters is on the K‑State campus in Manhattan. For more information, visit www.ksre.ksu.edu. K-State Extension is an equal opportunity provider and employer.

Originally uploaded December 2, reloaded December 5th. Jeffrey Mosher welcomes Reuben Levinsohn, Partner, Wealth Advisor, Nicholas Pope, CFP®, CEPA™, AEP®. Partner, Wealth Advisor Washington Avenue Advisors, REO Town, Lansing, MI. Welcome to the Michigan Business Beat, share a bit about Washington Avenue Advisors? Washington Avenue Advisors clearly supports business owners with exit planning and succession strategy — how do you balance the needs of founders who want growth now with planning for their eventual exit? Your Services page highlights tax planning, acquisitions, and business efficiency — how does your team help small to mid-sized entrepreneurs build a financially scalable business? For business owners worried about legacy — how does your “estate & legacy planning” practice integrate with ownership transition to ensure both the business and their personal assets are protected? As a Lansing-based firm serving entrepreneurs and business owners nationwide, what competitive advantage does Washington Avenue Advisors bring, and how do you align your investment and risk-management advice with the unique challenges of owner-led companies? Your firm hosted Leadership talks last year, what did you and your gatherings take away from those events? » Visit MBN website: www.michiganbusinessnetwork.com/ » Subscribe to MBN's YouTube: www.youtube.com/@MichiganbusinessnetworkMBN » Like MBN: www.facebook.com/mibiznetwork » Follow MBN: twitter.com/MIBizNetwork/ » MBN Instagram: www.instagram.com/mibiznetwork/ Washington Avenue Advisors was founded in 2016 by the original partners, Nick and Reuben, with a belief that the world is full of visionary leaders trying to bring their best ideas to fruition. They wanted to build an organization that would help entrepreneurs move from their imaginations into a physical space. There was no better location to call home than REO Town, Lansing, MI, a historical place where innovation meets entrepreneurship.​ REO Town in Lansing, Michigan, was named after Ransom Eli Olds, founder of the Oldsmobile and REO Motor Car Company, and was a major center for the American automobile industry from 1905 to 1975.​ At Washington Avenue Advisors, we believe financial advising is about more than numbers on a spreadsheet — it's about people, families, and the legacies they build.​ Our mission is to help business owners actualize their legacy. Along the way, WAA has grown into a trusted partner for those navigating every stage of wealth and business. From startup to exit, from first investment to legacy planning, we walk alongside our clients through each step of the journey.​ Connecting Life and Wealth ​ We know that life and wealth are inseparable. That's why our discovery process doesn't begin with money — it begins with you. We ask about your goals, values, and vision for the future, and then design strategies that align with who you are and what matters most.​ Our work spans:​ Wealth Planning & Investment Management — building portfolios and strategies tailored to long-term success. Business & Exit Planning — helping entrepreneurs grow, protect, and exit their companies on their terms. Estate & Legacy Planning — ensuring the values you live by are the ones you pass on. Accounting & Financial Clarity — empowering businesses with day-to-day accuracy for their accounting needs, serving as an outsourced controller or fractional CFO.

Episode 259: How do you prevent first-trip hassles such as a room not being ready at check-in, Wi-Fi outages, or service delays from discouraging first-time customers from returning? Today's guest, Rachel Bicking, EVP of Innovation at Kobie Marketing, says that after a slightly negative first trip, customers are 80% less likely to return. Kobie—a technology platform that builds and runs rewards and loyalty programs—is solving this. They use a "journey atlas" to read social signals, spot subtle first-trip frictions, and then trigger targeted offers or fixes. They model lift and rewards liability so that investment can follow behavior change. Journey maps freeze a tense customer moment. A live atlas shows where small failures block the next purchase and coordinates fixes across channels. Inside the business, spending becomes about precision. Simulators forecast lift, break-even, and profit impact by segment and moment, so finance are able to see trade-offs before money moves. The payoff? Practical programs that grow trips, expand categories, and raise lifetime value. Guest: Rachel Bicking, EVP of Innovation, Kobie Marketing Host: Rob Markey, Partner, Bain & Company Give Us Feedback. Help us improve the podcast here: https://bit.ly/CCPodcastFeedback Time-Stamped Topics: [00:03] First-trip friction that kills repeat purchases, with examples and fixes [00:10] Personalization that simplifies the customer experience [00:12] Emotional Loyalty Scoring, habit, status, and reciprocity [00:21] Coordinating recovery across store, app, and site for the same customer [00:23] Using precision to avoid incentivizing the wrong customer base [00:27] Designing redemptions to expand baskets, categories, and trip frequency [00:31] Accounting for redemption cost and liability without derailing good decisions [00:34] Using simulators to forecast lift and break-even before spending a dollar [00:36] The moment modeling convinces finance to reallocate the budget Time-Stamped Quotes: 00:05 — "What we're trying to do at scale is identify those moments that matter and those micro-moments that then lead to a negative or positive experience. Because we want to amplify the positives and we want to make sure that we intercept the negative ones." 00:07 — "I think there's been a broader inclination to say, 'Hey, if it's below a certain amount, people don't care.' And this is where personalization becomes really important. If I get delayed checking into my hotel room and I have to go to the next meeting and I don't have time to put my stuff down, ten minutes matters." 00:08 —  "Data-wise, we're always trying to break down customers' interactions [and] rewards into a series of metadata, into a series of features, so that we can make them more explainable at scale." 00:13 — "If personalization is done well, the experience from a customer perspective should be very simple. It should be guided. It should be deliberate."

Alicia recaps Intuit's November 20th "In the Know" webinar, covering the newly launched Intuit Accountant Suite (IAS) and its transition from QBO Accountant. She breaks down the platform's core features, pricing structure for the Accelerate version launching in 2027, and new firm management capabilities including sub-organizations and client consolidation tools. The episode also covers significant updates to the ProAdvisor program, which is evolving from annual certification compliance to a comprehensive firm-wide training system with new CAS learning pathways and team management features.SponsorsDigits - https://uqb.promo/digits(00:00) - Introduction and Overview (00:37) - ProAdvisor Community News (01:15) - AI Innovations and Bank Feed Updates (02:46) - Intuit Accountant Suite (09:08) - ProAdvisor Program Evolution (10:03) - New Resources and Tools      LINKSIntuit's Books Close Playbook: https://drive.google.com/file/d/174IULR72dGxeFDXwRlG-qm7ZedgzZEft/view?usp=share_linkIn the Know Slides: https://drive.google.com/file/d/174IULR72dGxeFDXwRlG-qm7ZedgzZEft/view?usp=sharingAlicia's upcoming classes: QuickBooks Checking, Dec 9: http://royl.ws/cashflow?affiliate=5393907Running Reports in QBO, Dec 15: http://royl.ws/Reports?affiliate=5393907, Sponsored by Finatical's Flash Reports (https://finaticalsoftware.com/?utm_campaign=24527397-Royalwise&utm_source=royalwise)Advanced Reporting, Dec 16: royl.ws/advanced-reports?affiliate=5393907, Sponsored by Finatical's Flash Reports (https://finaticalsoftware.com/?utm_campaign=24527397-Royalwise&utm_source=royalwise)We want to hear from you!Send your questions and comments to us at unofficialquickbookspodcast@gmail.com.Join our LinkedIn community at https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14630719/Visit our YouTube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/@UnofficialQuickBooksPodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Sign up to Earmark to earn free CPE for listening to this podcasthttps://www.earmark.app/onboarding 

In episode 98 of the Summits Podcast, co-hosts Vince Todd, Jr. and Daniel Abdallah are joined by Jesse Monts, Controller at Duncan Supply Company and member of the Heroes Foundation Board of Directors. Tune in as Jesse shares his mother's ovarian cancer journey and how it inspired him to give back to other families facing a cancer diagnosis through the Heroes Foundation.

Learn how one of the world's biggest restaurant companies is turning data and AI into a recipe for global innovation. Cameron Davies, Chief Data Officer at Yum! Brands, shares how he's combining strategy, technology, and change management to drive gobal growth. He explains how Yum! is building AI literacy from the top down, reimagining operations with generative AI, and partnering with NVIDIA to scale innovation. Cameron reveals what true data leadership looks like, balancing bold ideas with business impact, and proving transformation starts with people, not technology.Key Moments:Start with the Business Problem, Not the Tech (04:27): Cameron recalls advice from a mentor, “start with the business problem down, not the technology up.” He emphasizes that innovation only matters when it solves real business challenges, reminding data leaders not to get enamored with the “cool” factor of technology at the expense of impact.Balancing Global Scale with Local Agility (07:45): Cameron unpacks the challenge of scaling analytics across 160 countries and four major brands, 98% of which are franchise-owned. He explains how Yum! balances centralization and autonomy, ensuring smaller markets have a voice while global teams leverage shared technology and insights.Building AI Literacy from the Top Down (13:44): Cameron describes Yum!'s investment in digital upskilling, from Harvard-led training for executives to hands-on AI workshops for employees. He outlines how the company is embedding AI tools, like Microsoft Copilot and ChatGPT, into daily workflows to build confidence and accelerate adoption.Digitizing the Restaurant: Byte By Yum! (17:18): Cameron introduces Byte By Yum!, a suite of proprietary software that simplifies restaurant operations. He explains how it unifies e-commerce, point-of-sale, voice AI, and kitchen systems to make running a restaurant easier and more efficient in an increasingly complex digital environment.Partnering with NVIDIA to Power the Future (25:12): Cameron shares how Yum!'s strategic partnership with NVIDIA is fueling next-generation restaurant innovation. He reveals how the collaboration gives Yum! early access to cutting-edge AI engineering and product strategy, extending his team's capabilities with some of the best minds in the field.Key Quotes:“Technology's actually a whole lot easier than people, and the more successful the people are, the harder it is to get them to change.” - Cameron DaviesThe business problem is the business problem. You never have as much data as you want, as fast as you want, as cleanly as you want. People are always people, but the opportunities are always the opportunities.” - Cameron Davies“I think sometimes we get so enamored with the technology… We forget it's all in the service of a business problem.” - Cameron DaviesMentionsByte By Yum!Yum! Brands to accelerate AI innovation in an industry-first collaboration with NVIDIA2025 AI & Data Leadership Executive Benchmark SurveyGuest Bio Cameron Davies currently serves as the Chief Data Officer at Yum! Brands since July 2020. Prior to this role, Cameron held the position of Senior Vice President of Corporate Decision Sciences at NBCUniversal, Inc. from September 2013 to July 2020, overseeing the Corporate Management Sciences and NBCU News Group Insights teams, focusing on advanced analytics and data strategies. Cameron's career at Walt Disney Co. spanned from October 1996 to September 2013, where responsibilities included leading the Walt Disney World Resort Forecast and Planning teams and managing global Yield Management. Cameron established and led the Corporate Center of Excellence in Management Science and Integration, collaborating with Disney executives on analytics initiatives. Earlier in the career, from May 1989 to June 1996, Cameron served as a Professor of Finance and Accounting at Pensacola Christian College, teaching various business courses. Cameron holds a Master of Business Administration (MBA) in Marketing Research and Operations Management from the UWF Lewis Bear Jr. College of Business and a Bachelor of Science in Business/Accounting from Pensacola Christian College. Hear more from Cindi Howson here. Sponsored by ThoughtSpot.

In this episode, Sasha Orloff talks with Yogi Goel, Co-founder and CEO of Maxima, about raising $41 million from Kleiner Perkins and RedPoint Ventures to build an agentic AI platform for enterprise accounting that automates journal entries, reconciliations, and variance analysis for complex companies, helping them close their books 2-3 days faster with 98% automation while strengthening SOX controls and freeing accountants from mundane tasks. -- SPONSORS: Notion Boost your startup with Notion—the ultimate connected workspace trusted by thousands worldwide! From engineering specs to onboarding and fundraising, Notion keeps your team organized and efficient. For a limited time, get 6 months of Notion AI FREE to supercharge your workflow. Claim your offer now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://notion.com/startups/puzzle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Puzzle

Get your FREE 7 Pricing Essentials for CPAs and EAs here:https://geraldinecarter.com/7Struggling to hold business boundaries without risking relationships?Here's the thing: boundaries aren't barriers; they're operating instructions that make your firm calmer, more profitable, and easier to run.In this episode, Peak Freedom's mindset coach Natalie Hunt helps unpack what gets in the way – people-pleasing, guilt, and the urge to control reactions – and replaces it with better beliefs, rules you choose, and scripts.Learn to stop rescuing late clients, end after-hours emailing, protect time, and feel in the driver's seat.…Link to full shownotes: https://www.businessstrategyforcpas.com/375…Want Pricing Essentials?If you feel trapped by your own accounting firm, it's not because of the work – it's how you've priced the work. Too many accountants are stuck in undercharging, overdelivering, and people-pleasing cycles. Break the pattern with my short PDF guide:7 Pricing Essentials »It's free and you can read it in 5 minutes.I want to help you get your prices up without losing loyal clients.  …Want client interviews?310 From Exhausted to Having Her Life Back: Wendy Norman, CPA304 From 55 Down to 15 Hours; Same Take-Home Pay with Melissa Downs, EA293 What it Takes to Work 15 Hours per Week with Erica Goode, CPAComplete list:geraldinecarter.com/client-interview-episodes…FOUR ways I help overworked CPAs go down to 40 hours without losing revenue or hiring:THE EMAIL COURSE – Freegeraldinecarter.com/stop-working-weekendsStop Working Weekends will teach you how to reduce your hours without giving up revenue. THE BOOK – $9.99geraldinecarter.com/bookDown to 40 Hours – A Roadmap for CPAs to End Overworking Without Losing RevenuePEAK FREEDOM COMMUNITY – $197/mogeraldinecarter.com/peak-freedomFor solo and small accounting firm owners who want to rise above the insanity of hustle-cultureDOWN TO 40 HOURS ACCELERATOR – $995/mogeraldinecarter.com/40For the overworked CPA at multiple six figures of revenue who is ready to stop working weekends, wants to implement overdue changes, and doesn't want to do it alone. You'll make progress faster and with more confidence. … Get your FREE 7 Pricing Essentials for CPAs and EAs here:https://geraldinecarter.com/7

A serial fraudster attracts a devoted following when he invents a currency.SponsorsRoutable - http://ohmyfraud.promo/routableACFE - http://ohmyfraud.promo/acfeNAEA - http://ohmyfraud.promo/naea Get NASBA Approved CPE or IRS Approved CELaunch the course on EarmarkCPE to get free CPE/CEDownload the app:Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/earmark-cpe/id1562599728Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.earmarkcpe.appQuestions? Need help? Email support@earmarkcpe.com.CONNECT WITH CALEBTwitter: https://twitter.com/cnewquistLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/calebnewquist/Sources:58 crypto wallets have made millions on Trump's meme coin. 764,000 have lost money, data shows [CNBC]Pyramid Schemes: How to Lose Friends and Alienate Money [OMF]Chairman arrested in Japan 'scam' [BBC]Japanese man arrested over 1.4-bn-dlr investment scam [Sydney Morning Herald]Arrests made in what could be biggest investment scam in Japanese history [The Guardian]Japan to Indict Suspected Swindler Nami in $2.5 Billion Fraud [Bloomberg via Archive]Sexy female reporters mobilized to cover L&G chairman [Japan Today]Japanese businessman arrested in investment scam [Asia News Network via Wayback Machine]Bedding supplier chief given 18 years for investment fraud [Japan Weekly Monitor]Sir Frauds a Lot | The Case of Stanford Financial Group [OMF]

Microsoft Excel is more than just a tool in the accounting and finance industry—it empowers individuals to advance their careers by transforming numbers into actionable insights. Despite the rise of specialized software, 89% of finance teams still rely on Excel skills, making it the go-to platform for budgeting, forecasting, reporting, and analysis worldwide.  With Excel still on top, it's crucial to help students master the application before they enter the workforce. Which is why we've launched new specialized Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS) certifications for accounting and finance careers: MOS Excel for Accounting Associate and MOS Excel for Finance Associate. On this episode of the podcast, we sat down with Caroline Dill and Jennifer Johnson to discuss these new exams.  Caroline is a Product Marketing Manager at Certiport, a Pearson VUE business, where she leads global marketing strategies for major clients such as Microsoft and Unity, including the Microsoft Office Specialist program. Before joining Certiport, Caroline held leadership roles in the publishing industry, where she co-chaired major initiatives to strengthen institutional partnerships and expand access to academic research.  Jennifer is a CPA licensed in the state of Texas. She owns and manages a client accounting practice utilizing technology and automation to help clients enact change through information. From 2009 – 2025, Jennifer was a Professor of Instruction at the University of Texas at Dallas, where she taught Accounting Systems, Data Analytics, QuickBooks Software, CPA Exam preparation, and Excel courses. In 2024 Jennifer was named CPA of the Year by TXCPA Dallas, and in 2017 she was named an Outstanding Accounting Educator by TXCPA. Jennifer co-authored six editions of Computerized Accounting with QuickBooks Online. Before joining the University of Texas at Dallas in 2009, Jennifer spent time in both public accounting and industry as an auditor with PwC, an Assistant Controller at a regional financial services firm, and a Finance Manager at Keurig Dr Pepper. Jennifer holds both a BBA and an MS in Accounting from Texas A&M University. During this episode, Caroline and Jennifer discuss trends in the accounting and finance industry, key skills for future professionals to master, and how these new certifications can set individuals apart in the competitive job market. If you're teaching future financial professionals, this episode is for you.  Ready to dive into these new exams? All our information is available here.  Interested in learning from educators like Jennifer? Join our CERTIFIED Academy program. Get all the details here.    Connect with other educators in our CERTIFIED Educator Community here.         Don't miss your chance to register for our annual CERTIFIED Educator's Conference here.     

Are you paying yourself what you're worth, or is your practice managing you?In this episode of The Millionaire Dentist™, host Jarrod Bridgeman sits down with CPAs Kevin Rhoton and Brodie Hough from Four Quadrants Advisory to dismantle the "one-size-fits-all" approach to dental practice finances.Too many dentists rely on generic quarterly tax estimates, leading to cash flow crunches and nasty surprises at year-end. Kevin and Brodie explain why proactive tax management is the key to keeping more of what you earn. They dive deep into the strategies that separate struggling practices from profitable ones, including how to properly structure owner compensation and how to leverage 401(k) plans for massive tax savings.Interested in more info on how to: Earn More, Save More, and Retire EarlyUpcoming Tour Dates: Go to our EVENTS page for infoFacebook: Four Quadrants AdvisoryInstagram: @fourquadrantsadvisoryLinkedIn: Four Quadrants Advisory

We continue our SEC-focused series with a discussion on transaction-related matters, including IPOs, mergers and acquisitions, spinoffs, and divestitures. Our guests share insights into the SEC preclearance process and common SEC comment letter themes. Getting ahead of these issues can help avoid delays that may significantly impact deal timing and disclosures.In this episode, we discuss:3:56 – Overview of 2025 IPO and M&A market activity7:08 – SEC preclearance process and common issues19:59 – Typical transaction filing review comment letter themes32:49 – Final takeaways on anticipating and addressing SEC commentsFor more information:Going for a spin: Accounting and reporting for spinoffsFinancial statement presentation guideBusiness combinations guideIn case you missed it, check out the previous episodes in this SEC-focused series: SEC now: Today's landscape and recent developmentsSEC now: Non-GAAP 2025 comment letter trendsFor more on the SEC, listen to our recent episode on frequency of reporting, SEC to revisit quarterly reporting: Pros, cons, and what's ahead. Also, check out our SEC reporting series from earlier this year where we take a “back to basics” look at key reporting areas:Inside SEC reporting: Capital formationInside SEC reporting: Acquisitions and divestituresInside SEC reporting: Pro forma financial informationInside SEC reporting: Form 8-K (current report)Be sure to follow this podcast on your favorite podcast app and subscribe to our weekly newsletter to stay in the loop.About our guests, Katie Driessen, a partner in PwC's National Office who assists companies with complex accounting and financial reporting issues related to capital markets transactions and Scott Feely, a PwC National Office Deputy Chief Accountant with 30 years of experience supporting clients.About our guest host, Kyle Moffatt, PwC's Professional Practice leader who guides teams partnering with regulators and delivering influential thought leadership and educational materials.Transcripts available upon request for individuals who may need a disability-related accommodation. Please send requests to us_podcast@pwc.comDid you enjoy this episode? Text us your thoughts and be sure to include the episode name.

Former IRS Commissioner Danny Werfel and longtime agency communications chief Terry Lemons join Roger and Annie for a candid Thanksgiving conversation about the mounting challenges facing the agency heading into the 2026 filing season. The discussion covers budget cuts, staffing reductions, the lingering ERC backlog, and why a hollowed-out compliance function puts both taxpayers and tax professionals at greater risk.SponsorsPadgett -  Contact Padgett or Email Jeff PhillipsGet NASBA Approved CPE or IRS Approved CELaunch the course on EarmarkCPE to get free CPE/CE for listening to this episode.Chapters(00:00) - Welcome to Federal Tax Updates (01:22) - Introducing Special Guests: Terry Lemons and Danny Werfel (02:33) - Danny's Post-IRS Journey (08:03) - Terry Lemons' Post-IRS Activities (12:27) - Challenges Facing the IRS and Tax Professionals (19:52) - The Importance of IRS Compliance and Modernization (30:50) - Concerns About Workforce Sustainability (31:56) - Employee Retention Credit Issues (32:37) - Fraud and Government Response (35:30) - Impact of Government Shutdown on IRS Programs (36:53) - IRS Performance and Resource Allocation (40:52) - Challenges in Tax Compliance and Enforcement (46:17) - Preparing for the Upcoming Tax Season (51:19) - College Football Predictions (53:53) - Closing Remarks and Holiday Wishes Connect with Terry Lemonshttps://www.linkedin.com/in/terry-lemons-77b3641a9Connect with Danny Werfelhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/danny-werfel-89441594Follow the Federal Tax Updates Podcast on Social Mediatwitter.com/FedTaxPodfacebook.com/FedTaxPodlinkedin.com/showcase/fedtaxpodConnect with the Hosts on LinkedInRoger Harris - https://www.linkedin.com/in/rogerharrispbs/Annie Schwab - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annie-schwab-852418261/ReviewLeave a review on Apple Podcasts or PodchaserSubscribeSubscribe to the Federal Tax Updates podcast in your favorite podcast app!This podcast is a production of Earmark MediaThe full transcript for this episode is available by clicking on the Transcript tab at the top of this pageAll content from this podcast by SmallBizPros, Inc. DBA PADGETT BUSINESS SERVICES is intended for informational purposes only.

Do money talks make your family squirm more than politics? In this Thanksgiving mailbag, Blake and David dig into a Bankrate survey on taboo money chats, the grim 2026 grad job market, and the maze of CPA experience sign-offs after NASBA's program vanished. You'll hear practical career advice (big firm vs. small, starting bookkeeping), what AI can and can't do for accountants today, plus news on audit partners' outlook and tariff shifts hitting grocery bills.SponsorsOnPay - http://accountingpodcast.promo/onpay Cloud Accountant Staffing - http://accountingpodcast.promo/casChapters(01:14) - Listener Mailbag: Top Messages of the Year (02:05) - Thanksgiving Dinner Conversations: Money vs. Politics (06:11) - Listener Questions: CPA Licensing Challenges (12:07) - NASBA Data Issues and CPA Exam Pass Rates (13:24) - Economic Optimism Among Audit Partners (17:22) - Political News: Tariff Rollbacks (19:03) - Career Advice for Accounting Students (26:47) - AI's Impact on Accounting Careers (27:34) - AI's Current Capabilities and Limitations (31:10) - Future of AI in Accounting (34:49) - Challenges in Accounting Education (40:51) - Listener Mail and Feedback (46:23) - Accounting News and Stories  Show NotesCompanies Predict 2026 Will Be the Worst College Grad Job Market in Five Years https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/2026-graduates-job-market-7928bcd7 Survey: Americans would rather discuss politics or religion than what's in their bank accounts https://www.bankrate.com/banking/financial-taboos-survey/ Audit partners feel more optimistic about economy https://www.accountingtoday.com/news/audit-partners-feel-more-optimistic-about-economy Trump lowers tariffs on coffee, beef and fruits, as Americans' concerns about affordability grow https://www.cnn.com/2025/11/14/economy/lower-tariffs-coffee-beef-bananas-produce Georgia Accountant Arrested After Allegedly Tearing Down Trump Sign, Shooting at North Carolina Man's Househttps://www.cpapracticeadvisor.com/2025/10/24/georgia-accountant-arrested-after-allegedly-tearing-down-trump-sign-shooting-at-north-carolina-mans-house/171649/ Measuring AI Ability to Complete Long Tasks https://metr.org/blog/2025-03-19-measuring-ai-ability-to-complete-long-tasks/Need CPE?Get CPE for listening to podcasts with Earmark: https://earmarkcpe.comSubscribe to the Earmark Podcast: https://podcast.earmarkcpe.comGet in TouchThanks for listening and the great reviews! We appreciate you! Follow and tweet @BlakeTOliver and @DavidLeary. Find us on Facebook and Instagram. If you like what you hear, please do us a favor and write a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. Call us and leave a voicemail; maybe we'll play it on the show. DIAL (202) 695-1040.SponsorshipsAre you interested in sponsoring The Accounting Podcast? For details, read the prospectus.Need Accounting Conference Info? Check out our new website - accountingconferences.comLimited edition shirts, stickers, and other necessitiesTeePublic Store: http://cloudacctpod.link/merchSubscribeApple Podcasts: http://cloudacctpod.link/ApplePodcastsYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAccountingPodcastSpotify: http://cloudacctpod.link/SpotifyPodchaser: http://cloudacctpod.link/podchaserStitcher: http://cloudacctpod.link/StitcherOvercast: http://cloudacctpod.link/OvercastClassifiedsCollective by DBA - https://collective.cpa/ Want to get the word out about your newsletter, webinar, party, Facebook group, podcast, e-book, job posting, or that fancy Excel macro you just created? Let the listeners of The Accounting Podcast know by running a classified ad. Go here to create your classified ad: https://cloudacctpod.link/RunClassifiedAdTranscriptsThe full transcript for this episode is available by clicking on the Transcript tab at the top of this page

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