Podcasts about so tell me about

Dr. Ian Kerner, bestselling author of “She Comes First” and licensed sex therapist, shares insights from his 20+ years helping couples create more fulfilling sexual connections. From his own journey of overcoming sexual challenges to becoming a leading voice in sex therapy, Dr. Kerner discusses how traditional scripts around sex often limit pleasure and intimacy. He emphasizes moving beyond the “intercourse discourse” to embrace a more holistic view of sexual experiences that prioritizes mutual pleasure and absorption.Through his clinical work and research, Dr. Kerner has observed concerning trends among younger generations choosing partnerships without sexual chemistry, while also noting positive shifts in couples' openness to sexual exploration and toy incorporation. He provides practical frameworks for couples to examine and improve their “sexual scripts” - the patterns and behaviors that make up their intimate encounters.The conversation explores how couples can cultivate psychological arousal, maintain erotic connections between encounters, and create space for authentic sexual expression without judgment. Dr. Kerner shares valuable insights about the importance of both emotional safety and maintaining elements of mystery and desire in long-term relationships.Topics Covered:Rethinking traditional sexual scriptsCreating psychological arousal and intimacyThe role of foreplay vs coreplaySexual chemistry in choosing life partnersMaintaining desire in long-term relationshipsGuest Info:Website: IanKerner.comBooks: “She Comes First”, “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex”Follow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com This podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

Natasha is joined by Ian Kerner on this episdoe of the Natasha Helfer Podcast. Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT  is the co-Director of the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy and contributes regularly on the topic of sexual health for CNN. He is the New York Times best-selling author of "She Comes First" (Harper Collins) which has been translated into more than a dozen languages and he maintains a private practice in NYC dedicated to honoring the centrality of sexuality in his patients' lives. Natasha and Ian discuss sexual scripts and also refer to another one of his books, "So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives." To help keep this podcast going, please consider donating at natashahelfer.com and share this episode. To watch the video of this podcast, you can subscribe to Natasha's channel on Youtube and follow her professional Facebook page at natashahelfer LCMFT, CST-S. You can find all her cool resources at natashahelfer.com. This podcast addresses many topics around mental health and sexuality and may not be suitable for minors. Some topics may elicit a trigger or emotional response so please care for yourself accordingly. The views, thoughts and opinions expressed by our guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views or feelings of Natasha Helfer or the Natasha Helfer Podcast. We provide a platform for open and diverse discussions, and it is important to recognize that different perspectives may be shared. We encourage our listeners to engage in critical thinking and form their own opinions. The intro and outro music for these episodes is by Otter Creek. Thank you for listening. And remember: Symmetry is now offering Ketamine services. To find out more, go to symcounseling.com/ketamine-services.

For the 154th episode of Private Parts Unknown, host Courtney Kocak welcomes Ian Kerner for a long-term relationship sex rut reboot. Dr. Ian Kerner is a nationally recognized sex therapist and author of the smash hit She Comes First and the recently released So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. He also coined the term "cliteracy" and is a Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom—a sexual detective helping individuals and couples solve the mystery of why they're not f*cking like they wish they were.  For more Ian Kerner: Order Ian's book So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Follow Ian on Twitter @IanKerner Check out Ian's website iankerner.com Psst, Courtney has an 0nIyFan$, which is a horny way to support the show: https://linktr.ee/cocopeepshow Private Parts Unknown is a proud member of the Pleasure Podcast network. This episode is brought to you by: Flure is a dating app where fun, wild, and safe collide. Download the Flure app, set your relationship goals—whether it's a long-term thing or a rendezvous with a hot stud—be real, be shamelessly you, and I promise, you'll have a blast! flure.com STDCheck.com is the leader in reliable and affordable lab-based STD testing. Just go to ppupod.com, click STDCheck, and use code Private to get $10 off your next STI test. Explore yourself and say yes to self-pleasure with Lovehoney. Save 15% off your next favorite toy from Lovehoney when you go to ppupod.com, click Lovehoney, and enter code Private at checkout. Fleshlight is the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. Fleshlight is offering Private Parts Unknown listeners 10% off with code PRIVATE10. Go to ppupod.com, click Fleshlight, and enter code PRIVATE10 at checkout. https://linktr.ee/PrivatePartsUnknownAds If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating and sexy review! —> ratethispodcast.com/private  Psst... sign up for our Private Parts Unknown newsletter for bonus content related to our episodes! privatepartsunknown.substack.com Let's be friends on social media! Follow the show on Instagram @privatepartsunknown and Twitter @privatepartsun. Connect with host Courtney Kocak @courtneykocak on Instagram and Twitter. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Kate is joined by sex and relationship therapist, Ian Kerner.Please be aware that this episode contains sexual references so you might want to listen out of earshot of any children Ian Kerner (PhD, LMFT) is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with recent features in The New York Times, The Economist and NPR amongst others. Ian contributes regularly on the topic of relationships for CNN. He lectures frequently, with recent presentations for the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, the Ackerman Institute, Tony Robbins, Goop, and TED 2021. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins) which has been translated into more than a dozen languages, as well as the recently published So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex (Grand Central). In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Ian is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and is also a member of the American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA). Kate and Ian kick the episode off by discussing common problems which long-term couples tend to struggle with when it comes to sex. Later, they delve into various topics including intimacy issues, loss of attraction and practical tips to help relight that flame and get your physical relationship back on track.

Isn't it ironic and kind of sad that having kids can wreak havoc on a marriage and your sex life? Today, get ready to get your mojo back and rekindle the spark with your spouse thanks to renowned licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex counselor Ian Kerner. Ian Kerner, who is a PhD and LMFT specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in across all media outlets. He's a regular on the Today Show and in CNN HealthThe Atlantic, The New York Times, The Economist and NPR. He gives lectures on sex and relationships, with recent presentations at NYU, Yale, Princeton, the Ackerman Institute and TED 2021. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins) which has been translated into over a dozen languages. His new book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex was recently published by Hachette. Ian lives in New York with his wife, two sons and two dogs. He maintains a private practice in NYC dedicated to honoring the centrality of sexuality in his patients' lives. Meet My Guest: WEBSITE: IanKerner.com FACEBOOK: /IanKernerLMFT Mom Haul: CORAL MOBILE APP: Relationship Self-Care App WE VIBE: Couples' Vibrator OMGYES.COM: The Science of Women's Pleasure

Click to subscribe to my email list & for a chance to win one of Ian's books here: https://www.crimesoftheheartpod.com/ Today I am joined by Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT. He's a licensed psychotherapist, a nationally recognized sex therapist and a New York Times Best Selling Author. As a fan of his work I am thrilled to be able to share our conversation about the pleasure gap and how both men and women can work together to bring more sexuality equality into the bedroom. To learn more about Ian, visit his website here: https://www.iankerner.com/ If you're interested in buying his books: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex She Comes First Passionista (As an Amazon Associate I may earn from qualifying purchases) To check out the show's new website or to leave a voice message for Rory click here: https://www.crimesoftheheartpod.com/ For video clips from this episode or to follow Rory on INSTAGRAM click @icouldbeblonder and on TIKTOK @roryuphold Got a Question? Wanna submit a story? We would LOVE to hear from you! Email us at rory@crimesoftheheartpod.com or DM on Instagram & TikTok SHOW NOTES: Welcome to Crimes of the Heart, the podcast that delves into the taboo complexities of human relationships. In our latest episode, we sit down with sex therapist Ian Kerner to discuss how his work can help save relationships and sex lives. He emphasizes the importance of healthy communication and open discussion about sexual desires and fantasies in relationships. Our conversation touches on the growing popularity of non-monogamy among couples, the challenges women face in achieving orgasm during partnered sex, and the importance of prioritizing sexual attraction when choosing a partner. We also discuss the significance of foreplay and the misconception that intercourse is the only form of sex. Join us as we explore the complexities of female orgasm and the importance of mental and emotional factors. Don't miss out on this thought-provoking and informative episode of Crimes of the Heart. Subscribe now and enter for a chance to win a copy of Ian Kerner's book! TOPICS INCLUDE: - Talking about sexual fantasies - Prioritizing sexual attraction - The significance of foreplay - Shifting to outer course - The importance of sensual kissing - Relational vs. recreational sex - Compatibility in relationships - Complexity of female orgasm - Building a "sex script" - Communicating from a vulnerable space Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is sex therapy and how is it different from other forms of therapy? What are some common concerns explored through sex therapy? What should you expect from a sex therapist and sessions alone or with partner(s)?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with nationally recognized sex therapist and the author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, Dr. Ian Kerner. They discuss the advantages of sex therapy for those who are looking to address struggles around erotic intimacy and sexuality, solo or with partners. Ian shares his practical and solutions-focused approach, which takes a closer look at people's sexual scripts by analyzing the last time they had sex.To learn more about Ian KernerIan Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships, with recent presentations for the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, the Ackerman Institute, Tony Robbins, The Society for Sex Therapy and Research and TED 2021. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins) which has been translated into more than a dozen languages and more recently So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. He is the co-founder and co-director of the Sex Therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychology. He lives with his family in New York City. Website: iankerner.comResource: aasect.orgSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comLeave us a voicemail: 646-450-9079 Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

The Pleasure Gap Between Men's  and Women's Sexual Health (Part 2)  How is women's sexual health different from men's sexuality, and have we finally understood female pleasure? What do men need to ‘get' about it? What are the ingredients of a great sex life and a happy relationship? Health seeker Adiel Gorel discusses all this and more with therapist and author Ian Kerner.    Key Insights: Ian Kerner used to experience early ejaculation, so decided to educate himself. He found out about women's sexual health, and consequently understood his own sexuality better as well. As a species, we moved away from procreative to recreational and relationship sex. Since female orgasm is not linked to procreation, it has rarely been studied widely in the past. Ian Kerner explains the inspiration for his popular first book ‘She Comes First' as well as his new book ‘So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex' – a question he asks his therapy patients. Ian speaks of chemistry, attraction as a social construct, and what causes us to pick someone. Spectatoring or the performative aspect of sex is also discussed. Communication is key to satisfying sexual relations in a couple. Apart from the physicality of intercourse; couples must connect mentally – ‘outercourse' as Ian puts it. Author, Investment Expert and Wellness Advocate Adiel Gorel isn't just an expert in his chosen fields but also a storyteller who makes complex issues easily accessible. Tune in to his show where he addresses diverse issues with a single aim to improve quality of life.    Have questions? Seeking the right information is the first step toward improving quality of life and health. Post your questions in the comment box below or get in touch with me directly. https://adielgorel.com/ info@life201.com   healing sexuality sexuality coach sexuality chakras women's sexual health sexual health doctor Premature ejaculation Male and female orgasm She comes first He comes next When was the last time you had sex   #AdielGorel #AdielGorelShow #health #wellness #betterliving #psychotherapist #sexcounselor #couplestherapy #sexualhealth #wellness #prematureejaculation #clitoris #femalepleasure #fgm #sexualenergy #performanceanxiety #arousal #intimacy #spectatoring #healthyrelationships #sexualwellness #sextherapy     

Ian Kerner is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First as well as the recently published So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.

The Pleasure Gap Between Men's  and Women's Sexual Health (Part 1)  How is women's sexual health different from men's sexuality, and have we finally understood female pleasure? What do men need to ‘get' about it? What are the ingredients of a great sex life and a happy relationship? Health seeker Adiel Gorel discusses all this and more with therapist and author Ian Kerner.    Key Insights: Ian Kerner used to experience early ejaculation, so decided to educate himself. He found out about women's sexual health, and consequently understood his own sexuality better as well. As a species, we moved away from procreative to recreational and relationship sex. Since female orgasm is not linked to procreation, it has rarely been studied widely in the past. Ian Kerner explains the inspiration for his popular first book ‘She Comes First' as well as his new book ‘So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex' – a question he asks his therapy patients. Ian speaks of chemistry, attraction as a social construct, and what causes us to pick someone. Spectatoring or the performative aspect of sex is also discussed. Communication is key to satisfying sexual relations in a couple. Apart from the physicality of intercourse; couples must connect mentally – ‘outercourse' as Ian puts it. Author, Investment Expert and Wellness Advocate Adiel Gorel isn't just an expert in his chosen fields but also a storyteller who makes complex issues easily accessible. Tune in to his show where he addresses diverse issues with a single aim to improve quality of life.    Have questions? Seeking the right information is the first step toward improving quality of life and health. Post your questions in the comment box below or get in touch with me directly. https://adielgorel.com/ info@life201.com   healing sexuality sexuality coach sexuality chakras women's sexual health sexual health doctor Premature ejaculation Male and female orgasm She comes first He comes next When was the last time you had sex   #AdielGorel #AdielGorelShow #health #wellness #betterliving #psychotherapist #sexcounselor #couplestherapy #sexualhealth #wellness #prematureejaculation #clitoris #femalepleasure #fgm #sexualenergy #performanceanxiety #arousal #intimacy #spectatoring #healthyrelationships #sexualwellness #sextherapy     

Rugged individualism is the essence of America.It is also the reason that we, as a people, feel isolated and lonely. Our focus on personal, individual success is the reason we feel disconnected from one another. This is happening even in our marriages according to Ian Kerner, author of the book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, and Terrence Real, author of Us: Getting Past Me and You. “Individualism is not a natural fact; it has a history. In American Colonial days, society was communalism on a small scale. It was about farms and small towns and small villages. When you lived face to face with your neighbor, it was a palpable reality that the good of all was the good for each of us. Civic virtue was the force that went beyond individual gratification. It was part of being a civilized person that you had a sense of civic virtue. With the Industrial Revolution, and the myth of the self-made man, all of that went by the wayside and it was each man for himself.” – Terrence Real We are living in a very conflicted time because most of us hold two conflicting beliefs. (1.) We believe in a culture of individual achievement, “ME”, (2.) but as we approach the zenith of a societal “WE”, there is a desire to find our tribe, to join, to belong, to work as a group for the common good. Next year is the zenith of our current “WE.” It happens once every 80 years. The previous “WE” zenithed in 1943 when America was united against Hitler. We threw ourselves into something bigger than ourselves; something we believed in, something that satisfied our need to belong and make a difference. And now you know why we see all those deeply impassioned splinter groups in the news each week. Here's the good news: you can harness that same “need to belong” to recruit and retain good employees.Good employees are attracted to companies with a strong culture. They are looking for a company they can believe in, a place where they can belong and make a difference. When you want to strengthen your company culture, you need to publish your Unifying Principles. I have previously called these your “We Believe” statements. Publishing them is the easy part. The difficult part is that you have to live them. About eight minutes into his famous TED-X talk at Puget Sound, Simon Sinek says, “The goal is not just to hire people who need a job; it's to hire people who believe what you believe. I always say that, you know, if you hire people just because they can do a job, they'll work for your money, but if they believe what you believe, they'll work for you with blood and sweat and tears.” Indy Beagle will tell you about Culture Wizards in the rabbit hole. Roy H. Williams

Whether you had to think for awhile or you can recall your last time like that, we're chatting with She Comes First author and sex therapist Ian Kerner about the pleasures of sex and how sex can help us bring us closer to our partners (and in light of everything going on, we all need that reminder more than ever!). We discuss the importance of being 'cliterate' and not just putting the emphasis on intercourse, how you can start to explore in the bedroom in a way that doesn't seem as intimidating, and the important sex trends you need to know that are happening right now. TW: In the intro we also talk about abortion rights and the overturning of Roe v. Wade Learn more about Ian Kerner: https://www.iankerner.com/ and check out his latest book 'So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex' Follow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThank you to our partners for this episode:Filter Off: Try the new dating app where you date people not profiles and receive 5 extra daily picks at https://www.getfilteroff.com/ with the code DATEMEDrizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Cover art Photography Credit: Larry Wong #lwongphotoDateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It's time for another episode featuring one of the other podcasts in the network we're a part of. This week we're featuring Sex Talk with My Mom, where Cam and KarenLee talk about sex and sex scripts with Dr. Ian Kerner, author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiOrder a sexy gift box from our sponsor, Like a Kitten, and get 20% off with our code MULTI at LikeAKitten.com/multi Get better sleep with a Helix mattress customized for you. Try it for 100 nights, risk-free, get 2 free pillows and $200 off your order at helixsleep.com/multi Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, find us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast, tweet at us @Multiamory, check out our Facebook Page, visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a woman whose partner complains that she orgasms too quickly, and they discuss a letter from a woman who's puzzled by why her boyfriend doesn't want to have sex very often. Mentioned in this episode: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner *** Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now. Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you're in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it's anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing! Production by Chau Tu. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a woman whose partner complains that she orgasms too quickly, and they discuss a letter from a woman who's puzzled by why her boyfriend doesn't want to have sex very often. Mentioned in this episode: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner *** Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now. Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you're in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it's anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing! Production by Chau Tu. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

INTERVIEW: On the podcast today I'm in conversation with Dr. Ian Kerner: a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. He is New York Times best selling author to numerous books including She Comes First, and most recently So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. On the show today, Dr. Ian shares with Bedside his knowledge around getting turned on through discovering the erotic self. We cover sex scripts, what qualifies good sex, and how we can capitalize on our sexual shifts. This was a fun and super fascinating conversation that I know you'll gain some great insight from!We also cover: intercourse verses outercoursethe 3 different types of sex sex scriptsmind based arousal getting to know your erotic self sexual shiftsdesire frameworks non-monogamy Keep up with Bedside:@thebedsidethebedside.co         Connect with Dr. Ian Kerner:iankerner.comMentioned Resources:Dr. Ian's book: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had SexAnd if you have a moment, rate, review, and share this episode with a friend!

“We sort of get into this, you know, relational model. And look, when it's working, when sex is a form of intimacy and merging and lovemaking and a really dissolution of self boundaries, I mean, it's fantastic. It's such a relationship boost and expression of love that only sex can provide. But very often, you know, relational sex can become really wrote. It can become really predictable. It can stop serving our need for kind of sexual expansiveness, which is what recreational sex can do, right? Embracing the aspects of sex, embracing variety, embracing that psychological stimuli. Right? I think that's where, especially for heterosexual couples, we don't know how to integrate the relational with the recreational…,” so says Dr. Ian Kerner, my guest today and a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and relational issues. Ian is a New York Times best selling author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and the co-founder and co-director of the Sex Therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychology. Today we discuss his newest book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives as Ian shares the unique methodology he has used in his sex therapy practice to help countless couples rewrite their sex script in order to actualize their sexual potential. We don't know how to talk about sex, Ian tells us, we have erotic minds but encounter shame around communicating what is in them, leaving us open to impersonal, predictable sex that stops serving our need for sexual expansiveness.  To avoid falling victim to the plague of rote sex, we must rediscover touch, desire, and fantasy, he tells us. By reimagining and rewriting our sex scripts to include both the physical and psychological components of arousal, the promised land of mutual pleasure is within reach. Ian gives us the tools to get comfortable with the discourse around intercourse, and leaves us with the stepping stones to bridge the gap between the sex we are having and the sex we want to be having.  EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Putting language around sex…(8:15) Integrating the importance of touch…(13:34) Fantasy, psychological arousal and the key to good sex…(25:07) The plague of ill-cliteracy...(40:57) MORE FROM IAN KERNER: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents' Guide to Getting It on Again Follow Ian on Twitter DIG DEEPER: Come as You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life - Emily Nagoski  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's the #1 question I get as a sex educator: “our sex life is stale, how do we make it hot again?” For long-term couples, this issue is so common it's almost a cliche. “Once you're married, say goodbye to your sex life! Haha!” Except, it's not funny, right? It's actually pretty painful, once the new relationship energy wears off, and we no longer have that magical chemical cocktail running through our veins. That's why I am so pleased to be doing a two-part, Best Of special on this precise topic, kicking things off with sex educator Ian Kerner, author of the iconic book “She Comes First” and his latest, “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex?” I'm also sharing advice from Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, who have led some of the most comprehensive studies on successful couples, and the key ingredients of their success. (Which includes a great sex life, of course.) I'm pulling out the best-of-the-best of their advice and techniques, so you can try them yourself, and create your own “arousal runway” to bring excitement back into your relationship and the bedroom. Show Notes:Ian Kerner | Website | Twitter | BooksThe Gottman Institute | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dr. Ian Kerner likes to call himself the Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom and is one of the most recognizable voices in clinical sex therapy. He is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy, and working with individuals on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress.  He approaches psychotherapy from an integrative perspective, which seeks to explain human behavior by bringing together physiological, affective, cognitive-behavioral, neurobiological, and systemic approaches as they apply to the natural stages of human development and the wide range of human functioning.  Ian is also the New York Times best-selling author of numerous books, including She Comes First. His latest book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, is available now wherever you get your books. WE CHAT ABOUT... Why Ian calls himself the Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom Some common challenges couples face when it comes to their sex lives What a sex script is and how it can be useful The difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire How the brain responds to turn-ons and turn-offs What fantasy and mind based arousal look like The importance of making a ritual out of weekly sex Why you should be changing up your sex script to help with arousal What to do when you can't shut your thoughts off during sex How to navigate through guilt and shame when you were raised in a sex-negative home What to do if sharing a fantasy, or role-play, feels uncomfortable What to do if there's a mismatch in libido How fantasy and power play are a way of processing and resolving trauma, and that many find kink to be therapeutic Why labeling your partner as “sexless” or “sex addict” isn't helpful How biological, psychological, sociological, and relational variables can negatively impact sexuality The homework assignments Ian would suggest if you wanted to change your sex script ____________________________ I'm excited to announce that I'm now taking clients for 1:1 anxiety coaching. To learn more and sign up, visit courageouslyu.com/coaching or send an email to hello@courageouslyu.com to join my client waitlist today!  ____________________________ COURAGEOUSLY.U SHOW NOTES:  https://courageouslyu.com/ian-kerner/   COURAGEOUSLY.U INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/courageously.u/   COURAGEOUSLY.U FACEBOOK COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1416219115169393

On today's episode of The Empowered Relationship Podcast, Dr. Ian Kerner and I discuss what a ‘sex script' is and why it can help couples achieve intimacy by rewriting our sex script. He shares his insights into why these sex scripts are not only based on physical behaviors and describes how he helps couples understand that psychological arousal begins with our minds. We dive into the details of why Dr. Kerner has been a longtime advocate for a new paradigm of sexual pleasure for heterosexual couples, focused around clitoral stimulation rather than the previous procreative model of sex. Dr. Kerner explores why the core of the orgasm gap between men and women is down to the differences in how men and women experience the plateau phase in the process of sexual response. We also discuss how getting into a state of ‘neutral entrainment,' when you're relaxed and in the moment and feeling the erotic heat being generated, helps foster a sensual connection.  Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, is the co-leader of the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy and contributes regularly on the topic of sex for CNN. He is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins), which has been translated into more than a dozen languages, and he maintains a private practice in NYC dedicated to honoring the centrality of sexuality in his patients' lives. Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode: 07:32 How psychological arousal relates to sexual intimacy  08:28 Why couples in long term relationships often develop a ‘sex script' over time  12:51 Recognition that psychological arousal is a key component of sexual satisfaction 14:06 Why anticipation is an integral part of psychological excitement and how tapping into our erotic imaginations and fantasies helps get us going 18:42 Reciprocity is elemental for our sense of bonding, particularly when we're talking about intimacy and the vulnerability around reaching that authentic sexual place  26:06 The element of play and being able to express sexual fantasy in recreating your sexual script 32:37 How to move from the shallow end in these conversations about sexual fantasy and drift further in so that we don't get fearful and anxious about the process of connecting sexually 35:57 Dr. Kerner's tips to help someone safely explore to open up more capacity and let go of their sexual rigidity 37:44 Introducing the idea of sexual exploration without pressure 41:50 Shifting from intercourse to outercourse and creating a sex script that adds and rearranges the right elements for us as a couple  43:15 How to find out more about Dr. Ian Kerner and get ahold of his latest book So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives Mentioned So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives (*Amazon Link) She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (*Amazon Link) Connect with Dr. Ian Kerner Website: iankerner.com   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Isn't it ironic and kind of sad that having kids can wreak havoc on a marriage and your sex life? Today, get ready to get your mojo back and rekindle the spark with your spouse thanks to renowned licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex counselor Ian Kerner. Ian Kerner, who is a PhD and LMFT specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in across all media outlets. He's a regular on the Today Show and in CNN HealthThe Atlantic, The New York Times, The Economist and NPR. He gives lectures on sex and relationships, with recent presentations at NYU, Yale, Princeton, the Ackerman Institute and TED 2021. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins) which has been translated into over a dozen languages. His new book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex was recently published by Hachette. Ian lives in New York with his wife, two sons and two dogs. He maintains a private practice in NYC dedicated to honoring the centrality of sexuality in his patients' lives. Meet My Guest: WEBSITE: IanKerner.com FACEBOOK: /IanKernerLMFT Mom Haul: CORAL MOBILE APP: Relationship Self-Care App WE VIBE: Couples' Vibrator OMGYES.COM: The Science of Women's Pleasure

Do you know your sex script? We all have subconscious stories we tell ourselves when it comes to love. In this episode, Dr. Tammy talks with acclaimed therapist and New York Times Best Selling author, Dr. Ian Kerner, about his latest book, and how we can reframe our stories to improve our relationships and our sex lives.DR. TAMMY WANTS TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS about Sex, Love & Relationships. Send your questions to drtammy@thetroublewithsex.com.INTERESTED IN BECOMING A CERTIFIED AS A SEX THERAPIST?Visit ISTI - Integrative Sex Therapy Institute.  If you are already a therapist, find out how to receive your AASECT Sex Therapist Certification. Or, elevate your practice in relational psychotherapy by earning the new Certified Sex and Couples Therapist designation (CSCT).​ AASECT and CSCT renewal and re-certification classes are also offered.GUEST BIOIan Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian  has recently been featured in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Economist and on NPR .  He contributes regularly on the topic of sex for CNN Health and lectures frequently, including his TED TALK 2021. His New York Times best-selling author She Comes First (Harper Collins) has been translated into more than a dozen languages, and his latest must read, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives is available now!THE TROUBLE WITH SEX RESOURCES, REFERENCES & INFO· To read more about how to improve your sex life, check out Dr. Tammy's Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together.· Learn more about love, marriage, monogamy and how to redefine your commitment to each other in Dr. Tammy's TEDX talk - The New Monogamy - or her book by the same name. ·  Want more Dr. Tammy?  Read: The New Monogamy, When You're the One Who Cheats.

She called me a sex god.  I laughed, but knew I may have earned it!   Gents... this show is going to get seriously personal.  We're talking oral sex, bedroom routines, easing anxiety, ethical porn and more.  A few years ago, my friend Lance Salazar, author of The Miracle Morning for Couples, gave me a copy of Dr. Ian Kerner's book, She Comes First.  Long story short: six months later, my wife was telling all our friends that I'd become some sort of sex god (not kidding).   It wasn't until I was in my early 40s that I started to learn how to really light up my wife.   We cover a lot of ground on the show, including a look into the work behind his new book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives. Some of the topics I discuss with Dr. Ian Kerner:  What does variety look like in a healthy sexual relationship? The $2.00 purchase that saved my sex life The one thing that needed to happen, for my wife to beg for sex. Are your routines (sex scripts) killing your love life? What are your core erotic themes? How do you create variety in a sexual relationship? Is there ethical porn and has porn become problematic? Do men need to manage masturbation? If you're kids bust you having sex, is that traumatic? Why our cultural norms surrounding sex leave people dysfunctional, depressed, and without sexual self-esteem. Why dominant cultural narratives fail to honor female sexuality. Why guys should be talking about sex more often. Why do sex scripts fall into predictable patterns or just get boring? The common threads of sex scripts that work. Why anxiety is the enemy of arousal When should we talk to our kids about sex and pornography? Is there more trauma for a child in seeing their parents have sex, or feeling that their parents lived in a sexless marriage? Get the Full Show Notes Want access to the full show notes, including links to all resources mentioned during today's conversation? Visit FrontRowDads.com/277 Want to learn more about Front Row Dads? We are in the business of building better families. While most dads would say that family matters most, the challenge is they feel guilty knowing their careers get the best of them, and their family seems to get the rest of them. We help Dads become family men with businesses, not businessmen who have families, so they can thrive personally AND professionally. Subscribe to the Front Row Dad podcast to learn about fatherhood, marriage and how to level up your game at home, or if you're ready for the best coaching and true brothers to grow with, Join The Brotherhood! Are you getting all the shows? Subscribe today! Want to leave a review? THANK YOU! http://FrontRowDads.com/review

Are you having the sex you desire, or has sex lost something over time - or perhaps seemed lacking to begin with? Ever wonder what actually happens in sex therapy?   Whether you’re having sex with a long-time partner(s) or having hookups, you have what Ian Kerner, PhD LFMT calls a sex script, both your own and one you co-create with your partner(s). And gaining awareness about your scripts can go a long way.   A few things you’ll learn about in the episode:   Why Ian says to all of his sex therapy patients, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex (which is also the title of his new book!) What a sex scripts entails How David and Kate, a couple in their mid-30s, found their way to pleasurable sex by unpacking their personal histories How Jonathan and Chris, a couple in their 40s, saved their relationship and sex life by cultivating a “rec-relational” style Dr. Megan Fleming’s tips for finding an ideal therapist Automatically save 15% on your first Promescent order here: https://bit.ly/33z44hQ   Check out Dr. Megan’s latest Pleasure Picks: greatlifegreatsex.com/pleasurepicks    Support the show and get fun extras! patreon.com/girlboner     Submit a question for August or Dr. Megan: augustmclaughlin.com/contact   Preorder With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships, by Jamila Dawson and August McLaughlin https://www.chicagoreviewpress.com/with-pleasure-products-9781641605038.php?page_id=21  

For the 55th episode of Private Parts Unknown, your hosts Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra welcome Ian Kerner for a relationship sex rut reboot. Dr. Ian Kerner is a nationally recognized sex therapist, and author of the smash hit She Comes First and the recently released So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. He's also a Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom—a sexual detective helping individuals and couples solve the mystery of why they're not fucking like they wish they were.  For more Ian Kerner: Order Ian's new book So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Follow Ian on Twitter @IanKerner Check out Ian's website iankerner.com Private Parts Unknown is a proud member of the Pleasure Podcast network. This episode is brought to you by: The OhMyG is a super-silent internal G-spot massager for bodies with a vagina. OhMyG is offering our listeners 30% off when you go to IobaToys.com and enter code PRIVATE at checkout. Lorals are the world's first oral sex panties; they're single-use natural latex panties designed to be worn during oral sex & rimming. Get 15% off your first Lorals purchase at mylorals.com with code Private. Let’s be friends on social media! Follow the show on Instagram @privatepartsunknown & Twitter @privatepartsun. Connect with hosts Courtney Kocak @courtneykocak & Sofiya @thesofiya on Instagram & Twitter. If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review!  —> ratethispodcast.com/private 

Dr. Debra Soh talks to world-renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner (author of “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex” and “She Comes First”) about increasing the likelihood that a woman will have an orgasm; how to communicate sexual dissatisfaction to a partner; and whether a person can become addicted to their vibrator. Get "The End of Gender" at DrDebraSoh.com.  The audiobook is FREE on Audible and read by Dr. Soh (link available on her website).  Follow Dr. Debra Soh on Instagram & Twitter: @DrDebraSoh © 2021 Dr. Debra Soh

Welcome to episode 227 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome back Dr. Ian Kerner to the podcast. In this episode, Dr. Kerner talks to me about his new book; So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives, overcoming psychological sexual rigidity, expanding into verbal foreplay and ways you can bring new sexual ideas to your partner.    Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author She Comes First (Harper Collins), which has been translated into more than a dozen languages. He regularly consults for articles in major publications such as The Atlantic and The Economist, and he also writes on the topic of sex for CNN Health.     He is the co-director of the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy, one of New York's oldest and most respected not-for-profit mental health training and treatment facilities. In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Ian is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and he is also a member of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR) and The American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA). Ian was born and raised in New York City, where he maintains a private practice and lives with his wife and two sons, and their beloved dogs, Jitterbug and Oscar.     In this episode, you will hear:     How many couples can’t remember when asked, when the last time they had sex was  Can sexual chemistry be created if there’s never been much attraction?  Looking at psychological sexual rigidity  Learning to adapt and change your erotic template  The need to have good foreplay to allow for better sex  Expanding into verbal foreplay   Not setting yourself unrealistic expectations   How our busy lives effects our sexual well-being   Ways you can bring new sexual ideas to your partner  Understanding not to give up straight away and give things time  Knowing these issues are common and something everyone struggles with         Find Dr. Ian Kerner Online  https://www.iankerner.com      Free Masterclass  https://sexologypodcast.com/masterclass/    In this Masterclass we will  Define “Boredom” as it relates to your Intimate Life  We will explain the latest research findings on boredom in the bedroom as, more often than not, it is not as simple as feeling tired of monotonous routine. Identify the main source of intimacy dissatisfaction in your relationship  We will first discuss the most common causes of intimacy dissatisfaction in relationships and then explore the roots of these issues. Tackle your specific intimacy challenges  We will guide and walk you through addressing identified problems and explore the most effective ways to improve connection with your partner.    Giveaway  We have 5 copies of Dr Kerner’s new book to giveaway! To enter the competition and win a copy, simply subscribe to Sexology Podcast, write a review on iTunes, Stitcher etc and send a screenshot of the review to - https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast/.     Winners will be announced on our email newsletter on May 11th, 2021.      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio

Dr. Ian Kerner is the Sherlock Holmes of sex—he's a detective who helps people to understand the mysteries behind their sexual problems. His approach to sex therapy begins with a simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.” This question establishes the “scene of the crime,” and then it all becomes a matter of searching for the clues that led up to it. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Kerner, who co-leads the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York City. He is the New York Times best-selling author of the book She Comes First, and his latest book titled: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. We talk all about Dr. Kerner's unique approach to sex therapy, how people at home can use it as a form of self-help, and general tips for improving your intimate life. Specific topics we cover include: How is sex therapy like a form of detective work? And how can this approach help sex therapists to better serve their clients? How can you better understand your own—and our partner's—sexual scripts, and why is this a vital first step in fixing a sexual problem? What are the different frameworks for sexual desire? And what can you do if you and your partner have different desire frameworks? How is sex therapy similar or different with heterosexual patients compared to LGBTQ patients? Why is it important for us to change the way we think about our own sexual fantasies? How can you more effectively communicate about your fantasies with a partner? To learn more about Dr. Kerner, check out his website here. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.