Podcasts about lehmiller

In this episode, we’re diving into the many ways that people incorporate chastity into their intimate lives. As we’ll discuss, you don’t neccessarily need a partner or even a chastity cage to explore it. We’ll look at the many different roles chastity can play, from solo exploration and relationship dynamics to gender affirmation and self-discipline. I am joined once again by Paul Botto, the COO of KINK3D. He's been working in the queer and kink community in San Francisco for the past 10 years, joining KINK3D in 2021 as the company's first hire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might someone practice chastity on their own? How can chastity serve as a form of gender affirmation? How can chastity communicate sexual interests and boundaries? What does chastity symbolize in intimate relationships? Where should beginners start with chastity? You can check out the KINK3D blog here, as well as find them on Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, and Reddit. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Historically, chastity was associated with suppressing sexual desire. Today, however, it often means something very different. For many people, it’s a way of exploring desire, anticipation, control, intimacy, and pleasure. In this episode, we’re diving into the psychology of chastity, including why people are drawn to it, who’s into it, and what it can teach us about human sexuality more broadly. My guest is Paul Botto, the COO of KINK3D. He's been working in the queer and kink community in San Francisco for the past 10 years, joining KINK3D in 2021 as the company's first hire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does chastity mean in modern sexual culture? How has the meaning of chastity changed over time? What do people find psychologically appealing about chastity? Why can limiting pleasure intensify desire? Why are some people drawn to chastity outside of kink? You can check out the KINK3D blog here, as well as find them on Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, and Reddit. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Check out Sex Ed with DB here to listen to an episode we love on your favorite podcast platform!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why do some people need emotional connection to feel desire, while others are more responsive to novelty, touch, or fantasy? And why can the exact same sexual experience feel exciting one day and flat the next? In this episode, we explore the five dimensions of desire and how understanding your arousal architecture can transform your sex life. I am joined once again by Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful sex specialist, certified trauma therapist, and author of the book Arousal, Answered: An Expert's Guide to Authentic Pleasure and Liberating Sex. Her mission is to help others liberate themselves from outdated sexual scripts and empower them to rewrite their authentic sexual narratives. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the Arousal Architecture, and what does it reveal about desire? How do the five dimensions of arousal shape sexual desire? How can arousal needs shift across relationships and situations? How can understanding your arousal architecture improve your sex life? How do we separate what genuinely turns us on from what we think should turn us on? You can visit Kayna’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people think that if you’re attracted to someone, arousal should just naturally happen. But it’s not that simple. In this episode, we explore the science of sexual arousal, the many pathways through which desire can emerge, and how stress, trauma, burnout, and major life experiences can reshape our relationship with pleasure. My guest is Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful sex specialist, certified trauma therapist, and author of the book Arousal, Answered: An Expert's Guide to Authentic Pleasure and Liberating Sex. Her mission is to help others liberate themselves from outdated sexual scripts and empower them to rewrite their authentic sexual narratives. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can understanding the brain unlock more pleasure? Why is desire more complex than spontaneous vs. responsive? What role do stress, safety, and connection play in arousal? Why is it so hard to stay present during sex? How can becoming more embodied enhance desire? You can visit Kayna’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear about “out-of-control” sexual behavior, they tend to think of men. But women can struggle with it too, and their experiences have often been overlooked or misunderstood because most of the research and treatment models were built around male experiences. Today, we're exploring the psychology of out-of-control sexual behavior in women, and what people often get wrong about it. I am joined once again by Jess Levith, a licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She's fully trained in both attachment-focused EMDR therapy and trauma-focused acceptance and commitment therapy, works with LGBTQQIA+ and kinky folks, consensual non-monogamy, women's sexual health, and out-of-control sexual behavior. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do we misunderstand about women’s experiences with problematic sexual behavior? How do you distinguish between a high sex drive and sexual behavior that truly feels out of control? How do clinicians separate genuine sexual dysregulation from sexual shame? How does out-of-control sexual behavior differ in women and men? If someone feels their sexual behavior is out of control, where should they start in seeking help? You can follow Jess on Instagram to stay updated about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated's Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2624-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people think sexuality is something we figure out early in life. But for many people, major realizations about their sexuality don't happen until much later, sometimes after decades in heterosexual relationships or marriages. Today, we're exploring the psychology of coming out later in life and what happens when you discover aspects of your sexuality you never fully understood before. My guest is Jess Levith, a licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She's fully trained in both attachment-focused EMDR therapy and trauma-focused acceptance and commitment therapy, works with LGBTQ+ and kinky folks, consensual non-monogamy, women's sexual health, and out-of-control sexual behavior. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might someone not fully understand their sexuality until later in adulthood? Is coming out later in life always about repression, or can something else be happening? What is sexual emergence, and how does it differ from coming out? How can people approach conversations about changing sexuality with long-term partners in honest, compassionate ways? You can follow Jess on Instagram to stay updated about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people are curious about non-monogamy. But there's a big difference between liking the idea of it and knowing whether it genuinely fits your emotional needs, attachment style, and relationship temperament. So how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you? That's what we're exploring in this episode. I am joined once again by Kate Loree, LMFT, a sex-positive psychotherapist, author, and speaker specializing in trauma, relationships, sexuality, and non-traditional relationship structures. She is the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. She also co-hosts the Open Deeply podcast with Sunny Megatron. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How can you tell whether you genuinely want non-monogamy or simply like the idea of it? What are signs you may be overriding yourself to make non-monogamy work? How can you assess whether non-monogamy is a good fit for you? How can you safely and honestly explore the relationship style that fits you best? Learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People often think successful non-monogamy comes down to communication, boundaries, and relationship agreements. But underneath those conversations are deeper psychological dynamics involving attachment, emotional safety, and nervous system regulation. In today's episode, we're exploring what it means to approach consensual non-monogamy through a trauma-informed lens. My guest is Kate Loree, LMFT, a sex-positive psychotherapist, author, and speaker specializing in trauma, relationships, sexuality, and non-traditional relationship structures. She is the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. She also co-hosts the Open Deeply podcast with Sunny Megatron. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does “trauma-informed non-monogamy” actually mean? What are signs someone may be consenting without truly feeling grounded internally? How can somatic tracking help us better understand our intuitions? How can jealousy be reframed as a source of curiosity rather than anxiety? How can people assess whether they're emotionally ready for consensual non-monogamy? Learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people say they want deeper relationships and more meaningful connection, yet many conversations stay stuck at the surface level. We talk about work, schedules, the weather, or whatever else feels safe. So why is it so hard to move beyond small talk? In this episode, we're exploring the science of meaningful conversation, from curiosity and attention to vulnerability, flirting, and emotional openness. I am joined once again by Nicholas Epley, the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science, and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. His latest book is A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many conversations stay surface-level? What kinds of questions foster closeness? How do we balance vulnerability with oversharing? Can people tell when they don't fully have our attention? What small conversational shifts create deeper connection? You can visit Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We live in a world where people are more digitally connected than ever, yet loneliness remains incredibly common. Most of us move through daily life surrounded by strangers while following an unspoken rule: don't engage. In this episode, we're exploring why humans are so socially cautious, but also why even brief conversations with strangers can meaningfully improve our happiness, health, and sense of connection. My guest is Nicholas Epley,  the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science, and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. His latest book is A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why are conversations with strangers usually better than we expect? Do people really want to be left alone in public? Why do small moments of connection matter so much? How has technology changed everyday social interaction? For people who want to be a little more social, what’s a good starting point? You can visit Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  If you're looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of couples struggle to talk about sex because those conversations can feel incredibly vulnerable. And if the topic comes up at all, it's often only when there's a problem in the bedroom, which makes every discussion feel loaded with pressure, shame, defensiveness, or fear of rejection. In today's episode, we'll discuss how couples can communicate about intimacy in healthier and more productive ways. I am joined once again by Michelle Fischler, an ASTO Certified Sex Therapist with over a decade of clinical experience. She is also the founder of GETSOME, a platform and podcast dedicated to dissolving sexual shame. Her new book is titled Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do conversations about sex feel so vulnerable? How can couples make talking about sex feel less high-stakes? How does shame complicate sexual communication? What mistakes do couples make when discussing intimacy problems? What helps partners feel safer talking about sex? You can check out Michelle’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @getsome_podcast Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people talk about premature ejaculation, the conversation is usually framed around performance: lasting longer, gaining control, or somehow “fixing” the problem. But what if we've been thinking about this issue all wrong? In today's episode, we explore a different way of understanding early ejaculation that’s less rooted less in performance and more in the nervous system, anxiety, shame, and body awareness. My guest is Michelle Fischler, an ASTO Certified Sex Therapist with over a decade of clinical experience. She is also the founder of GETSOME, a platform and podcast dedicated to dissolving sexual shame. Her new book is titled Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What counts as early ejaculation? Why isn't early ejaculation just a performance problem? How can breath help regulate arousal? What can solo practice teach us about arousal and pleasure? How can couples approach early ejaculation as a team? You can check out Michelle’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @getsome_podcast Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you're looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

To celebrate Masturbation Month, we're sharing a compilation of clips about self-pleasure. Masturbation Month traces back to 1995, when U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and should perhaps be included in sex education. The political backlash ultimately led to her firing, and May 14 was later declared National Masturbation Day in her honor—a movement that eventually expanded into Masturbation Month. In this episode, we're exploring the history and science of self-pleasure. Featured guests include Dr. Eric Sprankle, Marie Aoyama from TENGA, professor Carole Hooven, urologist Joshua Gonzalez, sleep researcher Michele Lastella, and sex therapist Emily Jamea. Some of the specific topics we address include: How have attitudes toward masturbation changed over time? What do people fantasize about during masturbation? Does avoiding sex and masturbation boost athletic performance? How can we build a healthier relationship with self-pleasure? Can masturbation help you fall asleep faster? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated's Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2620-lehmiller Why do we love who we love? Why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? In The Intimate Animal, Dr. Justin Garcia explores the science of attraction, intimacy, and love by blending cutting-edge research with real-world insight.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Vibrator photo by IFONNX Toys on Unsplash.

Most of us know the basics of sex, but having truly great sex is another story. Today, we're revisiting one of my favorite conversations from the archives about increasing sexual pleasure, deepening intimacy, and making sex more satisfying for everyone involved. My guest is Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author of the book Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Lasting Intimacy. Some of the topics we explore include: How can changing up your masturbation routine enhance pleasure and partnered sex? What are some tips for better oral sex? How can you make intercourse and anal sex more pleasurable? What increases the odds of mutual orgasm? Why is it important to step outside your sexual comfort zone sometimes? To learn more about Emily, visit her website at emilyjamea.com. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you're looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the last episode, we explored how trauma shapes our relationships, intimacy, and emotional patterns. But the bigger question is: what do we do with that insight, and how do we start building healthier ways of connecting? Today, we're talking about healing, supportive partnership, and what moving forward can actually look like after trauma. I am joined once again by Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can relationships become a space for healing after trauma? What are the first steps to addressing trauma in a healthy way? How do you talk about trauma with a partner? What does it mean to truly support a partner with a trauma history? How can couples rebuild safety, intimacy, and pleasure after trauma? You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives. My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does trauma mean in a clinical sense? What happens in the brain and body when someone experiences trauma? How does trauma show up in our intimate lives and relationships? Why doesn’t trauma affect everyone the same way? How can trauma affect sexual arousal and desire? You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you're looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

More cosmetic surgeries are performed on the chest than almost anywhere else on the body, with breast implants leading the way. Not long ago, “bigger is better” defined the ideal, but we're seeing a shift toward smaller, more natural results. So what's driving that change? Today, we're diving into the world of chest surgery, and what it reveals about beauty, power, and the making of the “ideal” breast. I am joined once again by Sarah Thornton, a sociologist, non-fiction writer, and author of four critically acclaimed books. Thornton's most widely read book is Seven Days in the Art World, which is translated into over 20 languages. Her latest is titled, Tits Up: The Top Half of Women's Liberation, which explores the significance of breasts across radically different social worlds. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common are breast implants today? How have aesthetic goals shifted over time? What shapes patient preferences in augmentation? Are there cross-cultural differences in breast augmentation? How do augmentation, reconstruction, and reduction differ in purpose and meaning? Check out Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

You might think that breasts are inherently sexual and that humans have always eroticized them. Historically, however, breasts haven't always been seen this way, and even today, breasts are barely sexualized in some cultures. In today's episode, we're looking at the fascinating story behind how breasts became eroticized, and how the cultural meaning of breasts has changed over time. My guest is Sarah Thornton, a sociologist, non-fiction writer, and author of four critically acclaimed books. Thornton's most widely read book is Seven Days in the Art World, which is translated into over 20 languages. Her latest is titled, Tits Up: The Top Half of Women's Liberation, which explores the significance of breasts across radically different social worlds. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How did decoupling breasts from feeding make them more erotic? What role did infant formula play in that shift? Historically, was breast sexualization partly a privilege of wealth? How do culture and concealment shape what we eroticize? Why is the nipple where we draw the line? Check out Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Let this Mother's Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people believe that if you're in the “right” relationship, you shouldn't fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you're incompatible. However conflict isn't a failure—it's inevitable. In today's episode, we're rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways. I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Is it true that happy couples don’t fight? How can conflict avoidance be an even bigger problem than frequent conflict? Why is it important to think about conflict as a disagreement rather than a fight? How can couples navigate mismatches in their conflict style? What does “healthy conflict” look like in practice? Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We tend to think of love as something that just happens. You meet the right person, you feel a spark, and everything else just falls into place. However, love doesn’t come effortlessly. It's something we build over time. In this episode, we're exploring the key ingredients of lasting love and the everyday behaviors that keep love alive. My guest is Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries. Some of the specific topics we address include: How can you sustain and cultivate attraction over time in long-term relationships? Why is respect one of the most overlooked ingredients of love? How is trust built in small, everyday interactions? How can we learn to be more compassionate in our relationships? Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We tend to think about sexual orientation as a fixed identity that’s clear, stable, and easy to define. However, sexuality doesn't fit into neat and tidy boxes like that. In this episode, we’re diving into the world of heterosexual man who want to have sex with other men, and what this tells us about the complexity of human sexuality. I am joined once again by Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, a collection of real, unfiltered stories from people revealing their most private sexual thoughts and experiences. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common is it for heterosexual guys to have same-sex fantasies? Are these fantasies and desires purely physical, or is there an emotional component as well? Are these men just secretly gay? Why is male same-sex behavior more stigmatized than female same-sex behavior? Are women sometimes turned on by watching their husbands or boyfriends with other men? To learn more, check out the Strictly Anonymous website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated's Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2615-lehmiller  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Being turned on by the idea of sharing your partner with someone else is a surprisingly common sexual fantasy, and it's something many couples are actively exploring in real life. In today’s show, we’re diving into a practice known as hotwifing, including how common it is and the psychology behind it. My guest is Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, a collection of real, unfiltered stories from people revealing their most private sexual thoughts and experiences. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is hotwifing, and how is it similar to or different from cuckolding? What are some common themes involved in hotwifing fantasies? Why is hotwifing appealing to so many people? What are people’s experiences with hotwifing like? To learn more, check out the Strictly Anonymous website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Let this Mother's Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex education and sexual healthcare rarely meet the needs of persons with disabilities. From limited access to information to barriers in care, millions are being left out. Today, we're breaking down where these gaps come from, how they show up in everyday life, and what inclusive care would actually look like. I am joined once again by Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institute with the disability and sexual health initiative. Her research focuses on sexual consent, sexual violence, and sexuality and disability. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is disability so often left out of conversations about sexual health and education? What everyday barriers do people with disabilities face when accessing sexual and reproductive healthcare? How much of this comes down to gaps in provider training and knowledge? What needs to change to make sex education more inclusive of people with disabilities? You can learn more about Kirsten’s work and check out her publications here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Wanting sex and consenting to sex aren’t the same thing. Sometimes we agree to sex we don't want, and other times we turn down opportunities for sex we do want. Today, we’re going to explore the distinction between wantedness and consent, including common reasons people agree to sex that they don't actually desire. My guest is Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institute with the disability and sexual health initiative. Her research focuses on sexual consent, sexual violence, and sexuality and disability. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the difference between wanting sex and consenting to sex? Why do people sometimes turn down sex they genuinely desire? What happens when there’s a mismatch between wantedness and consent? How do people feel about that? What does healthy sexual agency look like in practice? You can learn more about Kirsten’s work and check out her publications here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans have always looked for ways to enhance sex, but some of the most popular tools weren't even meant for that purpose at all. One drug, originally developed for heart conditions, made its way into nightlife and became closely tied to sex. In today's episode, we're talking all about poppers, including how they work, how they became linked to pleasure, and why they're still so controversial. I am joined once again by Adam Zmith, a writer and multi-format producer. His books include Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures, as well as Solemates: A History of Our Fetish for Feet. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What exactly are poppers? Why do people use them to enhance sex? How did they become embedded in queer nightlife? What myths have fueled stigma around them? Are there any risks in using them? Check out Adam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (Adam Zmith headshot by Jade Smith).

When I surveyed more than 4,000 adults about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 1 in 7 people had fantasized about feet or toes. In today's episode, we're exploring the fascinating history of foot fetishes, the psychology behind attraction to feet, and why men seem more likely to report this interest than women. My guest is Adam Zmith is a writer and multi-format producer. His books include Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures, as well as Solemates: A History of Our Fetish for Feet. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How long have foot fetishes existed? What draws people to feet in the first place? How common are foot fetishes? Why do women’s feet seem to be fetishized more than men’s? Check out Adam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (Adam Zmith headshot by Jade Smith).

Dating apps make it seem like you can swipe your way to the perfect partner. But attraction isn't something we can fully predict from profiles. It emerges through interaction. So what happens when we try to optimize something that's inherently unpredictable? In this episode, we break down the psychology of online dating and how to approach it more effectively. I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Eastwick, a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Paul is also author of the new book Bonded by Evolution. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might using multiple dating strategies improve your odds? Can AI predict attraction better than we can ourselves? How accurate are first impressions on dating apps? Is there an optimal timeline for meeting in person after matching? What strategies lead to healthier online dating experiences? You can check out Paul’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us think we know what we're looking for in a partner. We have a “type,” a mental checklist, and the belief that if someone checks enough boxes, everything else will fall into place. But decades of research suggest that attraction and compatibility don't work that way. In this episode, we'll unpack how attraction really unfolds and why chemistry is so hard to predict. My guest is Dr. Paul Eastwick, a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Paul is also author of the new book Bonded by Evolution. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What's the link between what we say we want and who we actually fall for? Do we really have a “type” when it comes to romantic partners? Why is it so hard to predict whether two people will feel a spark? How can we improve our chances of finding a compatible partner? How much does long-term satisfaction depend on initial compatibility? You can check out Paul’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Discover how care in every detail transforms simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Experience the craft behind the comfort with Cozy Earth, and make every day feel intentional. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans have always been kinky, but what we fetishize and why has changed over time. In this episode, we're revisiting the fascinating history behind some of the most common fetishes. From leather and nylon to the enduring appeal of feet, we'll unpack how culture, technology, and history shaped these desires. We'll also dive into the unexpected history of pornography and explore how hentai emerged as a major form of erotic storytelling. My guest is Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. Esmé is author of the book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.  Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How did leather and nylon come to be associated with sex? When did foot fetishes start to become popular? How long have humans been making porn? Historically, why was porn often used for political purposes? When did cartoon/animated porn begin to rise in popularity? To hear more from Esmé about our kinky history, check out her previous appearances on the show in episodes 207, 208, and 343. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How much do you really know about orgasms? In this episode, we answer common questions about climax and explore the concept of orgasm equity, including what it really means to close the orgasm gap. We'll also discuss strategies for experiencing more pleasure, and whether becoming multi-orgasmic is something you can actually learn. My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University's Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her work has also been featured widely in the popular media. Her latest book is titled Good Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Who’s responsible for your orgasm during partnered sex? What do porn and popular media get wrong about how orgasms are portrayed? Why do some people feel like they need to fake orgasms? Is it ever okay to fake an orgasm? Scientifically, what actually is an orgasm anyway? Check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people open a relationship, they often start by asking: what are the rules? But the real key to healthy non-monogamy isn't rules. It's clarity about needs, desires, and expectations. In this episode, we're talking about how to design relationship agreements that actually work. I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy. She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships. She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the difference between our needs and our desires? How can partners discuss and negotiate different desires in healthy ways? What kinds of things should go into a relationship agreement? How do you cultivate feelings of security in a non-monogamous relationship? To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated's Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2610-lehmiller  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Beginning a consensually non-monogamous relationship can trigger reactions you never saw coming. For example, the first time your partner connects with someone else, your body might react like there's danger. So why is that? Today, we're going to explore how to craft secure non-monogamous relationships and work skillfully with intense emotions that might arise along the way. My guest is Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy. She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships. She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: In what ways is exploring non-monogamy akin to the experience of taking a psychedelic? How can somatic regulation help when we’re experiencing jealousy and other intense emotions? What factors contribute to feelings of jealousy in non-monogamous relationships? What does it look like to transform our relationship with jealousy? To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Discover how care in every detail transforms simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Experience the craft behind the comfort with Cozy Earth, and make every day feel intentional. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans evolved for face-to-face courtship in small communities, where attraction unfolded gradually and choices were limited. Today, we're navigating global dating markets, algorithms, AI recommendations, endless novelty, and constant rejection. So what happens when ancient mating psychology collides with modern technology? I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He is the chief scientific advisor for Match, and author of the new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, And Why We Live and Die For Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How do dating apps shape our dopamine responses and bonding tendencies? Could AI actually improve mate selection, or is that better left to humans? Are changing relationship patterns a sign of human adaptability, or something else? Where might the future of sex, dating, and intimacy be headed? To learn more about Dr. Garcia, follow @drjustingarcia on the socials. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why do we fall in and out of love so quickly? Why does love feel intoxicating at first, but complicated over time? The answer may be simpler than we think: humans are animals. Our brains were shaped by ancient mating systems that developed long before dating apps and modern culture. So what does it mean to be an “intimate animal?” And how much of our love lives today are still being driven by our evolutionary past? My guest is Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He is the chief scientific advisor for Match, and author of the new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, And Why We Live and Die For Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What makes intimacy such a defining part of our species? Are humans built for monogamy or non-monogamy? What happens inside the brain when we fall in love with someone? Why does navigating sex and relationships in the modern world feel so challenging? To learn more about Dr. Garcia, follow @drjustingarcia on the socials. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Research shows that couples who bring playfulness into conversations about sex report greater satisfaction and emotional connection. A well-timed joke can lower defenses and make high-stakes topics feel safer. Today, we’re diving into how humor works inside relationships, and how it can be an effective tool, when used appropriately, to enhance sexual communication.   I am joined once again by Jenny Zigrino. You've seen her on late-night television, in film and streaming specials, and lighting up social media with bits that are bold, self-aware, and sharply observant. You can see her in the new show Crowd Control on Dropout TV and her most recent Don't Tell Comedy special is out now. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why does humor lower sexual tension? When does humor help sexual communication, and when does it derail it? Is being funny actually sexy? What do sex and stand-up teach us about staying open instead of defensive? How can you blend humor with honest sexual communication? You can check out Jenny’s website to connect with more of her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. Why do we love who we love? Why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? In The Intimate Animal, Dr. Justin Garcia explores the science of attraction, intimacy, and love by blending cutting-edge research with real-world insight.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Talking about sex is one of the hardest things for people to do. People want to communicate about desire, boundaries, and fantasies, but the conversation can feel painfully high-stakes. And yet, in one place, sex gets discussed openly in front of strangers: the comedy club. Today, we're exploring why sex is so funny, how comedians navigate taboo topics, and the tightrope between normalizing sex and reinforcing stigma. I am joined by Jenny Zigrino. You've seen her on late-night television, in film and streaming specials, and lighting up social media with bits that are bold, self-aware, and sharply observant. You can see her in the new show Crowd Control on Dropout TV and her most recent Don't Tell Comedy special is out now. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is sex such irresistible comedy material? How can stand-up bits about sex also serve as a form of sex education? When do sex jokes normalize conversation, and when do they reinforce shame? How has talking about sex in stand-up evolved over time? You can check out Jenny’s website to connect with more of her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated's Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2607-lehmiller Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When we talk about hormones and women's sexual health, the focus is almost always on estrogen. But testosterone also plays a key role in desire, arousal, and overall sexual well-being. Despite being labeled a “male hormone,” women produce (and need) it too. In this episode, we separate myth from fact about testosterone in women and why it remains one of the most overlooked topics in sexual medicine. I am joined once again by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB/GYN and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner. She is the CMO of EMBR Labs, a Boston-based wellness device company. Maria is also author of the new book, The Bedroom Gap, which is all about sex at midlife. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What testosterone does in women's bodies and sex lives How levels change across the lifespan When testosterone may help menopausal symptoms Potential risks and side effects Why there's still no FDA-approved testosterone treatment for women To learn more about Maria’s work, you can check out her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For many women, the menopause transition brings painful sex and low libido—issues that have long been endured in silence. Meanwhile, men have had access to highly effective sexual performance treatments for decades. The result is what my guest calls the bedroom gap: the widening divide in sexual expectations and capabilities between men and women in midlife. I am joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB/GYN and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner. She is the CMO of EMBR Labs, a Boston-based wellness device company. Maria is also author of the new book, The Bedroom Gap, which is all about sex at midlife. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Defining the bedroom gap The often overlooked sexual effects of menopause How Viagra widened the divide at midlife Barriers to treatment for women’s sexual health How to close the bedroom gap To learn more about Maria’s work, you can check out her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Share a little extra love this February and wrap yourself—or someone you care about—in comfort that truly feels special. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people think about great sex, they often picture what happens at the peak (i.e., the orgasm). But what if we stopped thinking about pleasure as a single moment and, instead viewed it as a cycle? In today's episode, we're going to explore the three phases of the pleasure cycle–wanting, liking, and learning–and discuss how cultivating each of them can transform your sex life. I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole’s course, “The Diversity of Human Sexuality,” is the largest and most popular course in the university’s history with four thousand enrolled students each year. Nicole is author of the new book You Could Be Having Better Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How does connection to your own erotic self shape attraction to your partner? What happens in each phase of the pleasure cycle? How does modern life disrupt desire and dopamine? How can we leverage the power of anticipation to build more pleasure? You can check out Nicole’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people think of sexual consent as a simple yes-or-no question. But it's rarely that clear-cut. In this episode, we unpack why consent is about more than permission, how power and context shape sexual choices, and what it means to build experiences that feel mutual, ethical, and genuinely good for everyone involved. My guest is Dr. Nicole McNichols. She is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole’s course, “The Diversity of Human Sexuality,” is the largest and most popular course in the university’s history with four thousand enrolled students each year. Nicole is author of the new book You Could Be Having Better Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are we getting wrong about sexual consent, and what's missing from the way we typically define it? What does “intentional awareness” actually look like in a sexual encounter? Why does honesty about your motivations matter just as much as a verbal yes? Should pleasure be considered a core part of consent? If so, why? How can we practice consent not just as a rule to follow, but as a relational and erotic skill that makes sex better? You can check out Nicole’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Knowing someone loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love in your body and daily life is another—and that's where many relationships get stuck. In this episode, we move from problem to solution, exploring five research-backed mindsets that help love land and deepen real connection. I am joined once again by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does the “Relationship Sea-Saw” explain the give-and-take of feeling loved? What does healthy self-disclosure actually look like in a relationship? How can couples sustain curiosity in long-term partnerships? How can we approach our relationships with more compassion and less scorekeeping? How can we learn to become better listeners and stop having repetitive conflicts? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Share a little extra love this February and wrap yourself—or someone you care about—in comfort that truly feels special. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you've ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. My guest is Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many people struggle to feel loved, even when they clearly are? How can admiration and praise actually leave us feeling lonelier? Why does believing you have to “earn” love block you from experiencing it? What happens to our mental health, relationships, and desire when we don't feel loved? How is modern technology undermining our sense of connection? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Limerence is an intense state of romantic preoccupation where someone takes over your thoughts and emotions. It can feel exhilarating and even spark new love. But it can also become unhealthy, especially when the feelings are unrequited, inappropriate, or tied to someone who is unavailable or toxic. In this episode, we explore when limerence becomes a problem, and how to work through it. I am joined once again by Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What keeps limerence going, and what do you need to understand before breaking the cycle? How do you shift into a recovery mindset? What practices help interrupt rumination? What should you look for in a therapist if you need help working through limerence? How does living more purposefully protect against limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They're the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you're ecstatic. When they don't, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person. My guest is Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is limerence different from lust and love? What happens in the brain during limerence? Why does uncertainty fuel romantic obsession? Is modern dating making limerence more common? What emotional needs or life circumstances make someone more vulnerable to limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We often think good sex mostly comes down to physical technique. But many people feel disconnected from their bodies, stuck in their heads, or unable to access desire and pleasure. And that's something technique alone can't fix. Today, we'll explore how attending to unconscious factors like shame, anxiety, and trauma can open the door to deeper pleasure. I am joined once again by Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why orgasm is more than a physical response How shame and trauma quietly shape your sex life Why “spectatoring” kills pleasure When trying to fix your partner backfires How to reconnect with your body during sex To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people experience sexual problems, the instinct is often to ask, “What's wrong with me?” or “How do I fix this?” But what if those struggles are actually meaningful signals or clues that something deeper needs attention? In today’s show, we’re exploring a different way of understanding sexual difficulties: as doorways to unconscious emotional and relational truths. My guest is Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does it mean to treat sexual symptoms as a form of unconscious communication? Why is it important to get curious about the deeper issues behind sexual problems? If someone is experiencing “out of control” porn use, what might the deeper issue behind that be? What kind of emotional information do sexual fantasies carry? What does healing or recovery from a sexual problem actually look like? To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you want to make this year less about fixing yourself and more about understanding yourself, check out Beducated. Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated's Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2602-lehmiller  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear about certain kinks, the reaction is often one of confusion or judgment. The question that comes up again and again is, “Why would anyone be into that?” Today, we're exploring some lesser-known and often misunderstood kinks, not to sensationalize them, but to understand the psychology behind why different people are drawn to different things. I am joined once again by Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is age play, and why are some people drawn to it? What’s the psychological appeal of pet play? Where do sensory-based kinks like balloon play come from? How can we help people think about sexual diversity in a way that’s more curious than judgmental? You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear the word “kink,” they often imagine something extreme. However, kink is actually far broader and more common than most people realize. In today’s show, we’re unpacking what kink is, what it isn't, and why people want what they want. If you've ever wondered “why are people into that?”, this episode is for you. My guest is Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does the term kink really mean? Can anything be kinky? Where do kinks come from? Do kinky interests always have some deeper meaning? Why are power dynamics so commonly eroticized? What are the biggest things people get wrong about kink? You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Sex-positive” is a term that gets used a lot these days, but it doesn't always mean the same thing to everyone. Sometimes it's about sexual openness or enthusiasm, other times it's about respect for sexual diversity, and sometimes it's even used in coercive ways. In this episode, we explore what sex-positivity actually is, and what it isn't. I am joined once again by Dr. Carol Queen, the staff sexologist, Company Historian, and Curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum at Good Vibrations. A noted cultural sexologist whose work has been widely published, she’s written and edited several books, including The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What are the core features of sex-positivity? What are some common usages of the term that miss the mark? Why is it important to separate sex-positivity from things like sexual behavior, frequency, and identity? How can you recognize when sex-positivity is being used coercively rather than ethically? How can you apply sex-positive values in everyday life? You can click here to learn more about Dr. Carol Queen. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex shops are more than just retail spaces. In fact, they're often where people actually learn about sex. When formal sex ed fails, sex shops step in to answer questions about bodies, pleasure, and desire. In this episode, we’re exploring how sex shops became unexpected sex educators, and what we can learn from that. My guest is Dr. Carol Queen, the staff sexologist, Company Historian, and Curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum at Good Vibrations. A noted cultural sexologist whose work has been widely published, she’s written and edited several books, including The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How did sex shops become one of the main places people actually learn about sex? How did Good Vibrations completely change what a sex shop could be? What questions are people really bringing into sex shops when they walk through the door? How do you train retail staff to be responsible sex educators — not just good salespeople? You can click here to learn more about Dr. Carol Queen. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.