Captivatingly Confident Podcast

Have you ever thought to yourself "why can't I just be happy" or "why do I keep getting in my own way"? If so, this episode is for YOU! In this episode, we discuss: How the Ego part of the brain works. What the Higher Self brain looks like.  Why the brain craves routine, loops, patterns and consistency. Why the thing or feeling you want is always out of reach. How to create more capacity for the feelings you want. Practical exercise to start to increase your ability to hold the feelings you want. Make sure you share this episode and tag us- @captivatinglyconfidentpodcast!

Episode 127- Cultivating Compassion, Curiosity and Connection Through Conflict with Tim Ludeman LPC   How do you feel about conflict?? If you're like most people, it's not your favorite and you may even go to great lengths to avoid it. This avoidance or fear robs couples of the opportunity to really connect and grow on a deeper level. In this episode, Licensed Professional Counselor, Tim Ludeman, joins Kim to talk about how conflict can actually create connection and improve intimacy in romantic relationships. Kim and Tim have been married since April 2009 and have learned a lot about conflict in their 15 years together. In this episode, they talk through common pitfalls in conflict and how to shift into curiosity and compassion to increase connection.   You can learn more about the work Tim does with couples and individuals on his site, www.lighthousecounselingpdx.com.   Mentioned in the show:   Marriage and Relationship Experts, The Gottmans- https://www.gottman.com   Kim and Tim talking about anxiety- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/captivatingly-confident-podcast/id1436115186?i=1000471425589   Our Guest: Tim Ludeman is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Oregon who sees clients online. He started his practice, Lighthouse Counseling PDX, in 2005. He loves working with couples and individuals to help them utilize tools and feel a sense of empowerment and agency in their relationships and personal lives. He and Kim have been married for 13 years and have two children, ages 8 and 20 months.    About the Host, Kim: Kim is a Certified Brainspotting Coach who works with clients all over the world using her unique blend of Brainspotting and Nutrition/Health/Fitness Coaching. She is the creator of Reveal Retreats which creates a safe space to reveal what the real blocks are to loving the life you live utilizing small group expansion Brainspotting. Kim is also the founder of Summit Seekers, a national hiking community committed to empowering women to connect deeply with themselves and others both on and off the trail. She is a mom to two kiddos, Louis 8 and Lucy 20 months. She loves hiking, cooking, shopping and sleeping. Kim discovered a passion for connecting people to tools and support after the loss of her mom in 2004. She thrives on creating safe spaces for women to connect and feel seen. She has been coaching for over 13 years and loves seeing people feel empowered and confident.    You can connect with Kim via email (Kim@captivatinglyconfident.com) and Instagram (@kim.ludeman).  www.kimludeman.com www.summitseekersllc.com www.revealretreats.com

Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck in a rut? Like you feel like you "can't" get out of it no matter what you do? In this episode, Kim talks about how to cultivate empowerment by swapping "can't" for "how". This pivitol shift can create clarity, spaciousness and curiosity in helping you identify and meet your needs.

It can be really easy to get overwhelmed when you get triggered by others, circumstances or things you feel you can't control. It's so easy to jump into self-soothing behaviors like eating, busyness, shopping, binging, scrolling etc. When that happens, wouldn't it be nice to have a tool that was quick and easy to use that actually helps?? Tune in to learn how to use Stop, Drop and Roll to help you calm down no matter where you are or what you're doing.

Have you ever said "they made me feel____"? Maybe you have felt like people had the power to make you feel a way. The truth is, people are mirrors and reflect back that which we are uncomfortable with in ourselves.  In this episode, Kim explores what it looks like to take control back and empower yourself to understand your feelings and communicate them so you feel seen and understood. With practical tools, you can confidently say "It's not you, it's me!". 

I'M BACK!!!! After an 6 month hiatus from the mic, I finally found inspiration to record this episode all about wanting, lack and abundance. I am sooo excited to be back with you and can't wait to share my thoughts on law of attraction and manifesting with you!!

Quarantine weight gain is a real struggle for so many of you right now (and myself included). I wanted to use this episode as a space to share a framework for you for feeling more in control of your body, thoughts and emotions. 

This was my first time leading a guided meditation online, so bear with me in this episode! My heart and intention was to bring nature to you wherever you are.  Take a moment for yourself to listen and participate. Fill up your diffuser with some tree oils, grab some crystals or a comfy blanket and let's venture out under the trees together. 

I have another fabulous Licensed Professional Counselor joining me on the show today! Connie Baker is an LPC, author, speaker and creator of Dear Survivor, a line of mantras and support for trauma survivors. Her passion is to help people give themselves permission to be, heal and grow.  In this episode, we chat about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and how this pyramid can help you find your place of peace and rest as we all navigate the ever changing stressors that this time is bringing.  You can find more about Connie and her work at www.Connieabaker.com. 

My very first male guest also happens to be my HUBBY!!! After 40 interviews and 118 episodes, I finally convinced my husband, Tim Ludeman (who wanted to title this episode Ludeman After Dark), who is a therapist/counselor to come on the show!! In this hilarious and real conversation we talk about anxiety, uncertainty and control and how to release control so you can embrace freedom.  You can learn more about Tim at www.lighthousecounselingpdx.com. 

In this time of uncertainty, stress and anxiety, you are being given an invitation. This invitation is ultimately a chance to connect with yourself on a way different and deep level. Will you accept it?? Let's dive into what you're being invited into and how to feel your feelings but also CHOOSE how you want to feel. 

I have been sick this week so apologies for my voice.  In this episode, we are briefly chatting about how fear doesn't have to be "in the car" so to speak. Fear doesn't have to be present in your process. Join me as we talk about how to choose how you want to feel and how to say YES to more and NO to fear. 

After 115+ episodes of "How To's" and "Do This, Not That" and "Change This" I am ready to switch gears.  For this next season of the Captivatingly Confident Podcast, we will be looking at the idea of how BEING and BELIEVING impact confidence.  We will move into more of a flow of conversations around raw, authentic living while in pursuit of flow, ease and alignment. I invite you to join me on this new adventure and continuing chapter of the show.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago.  I wanted to share my story in hopes of connecting with those who have gone through this. Every woman's experience with miscarriage is different and I don't claim to know how it is for everyone, just for me.  I want this episode to help open up the conversation around pregnancy loss because it's still not talked about openly. I want to offer some ideas about how we can talk about it and support one another in grief and loss.  *This is raw and unedited and has some tough moments, so I would not listen with kiddos around. 

Sleep is one of the most underrated activities in this culture. Sleep is critical for weight loss, digestive health, hormone balance, nervous system resetting and so much more.  In this episode, Sleep Teachers Sleep Consulting founder Brittney Stefanic and I chat about how sleep is misunderstood and what some practical steps you can do to sleep like never before! 

Boundaries get a bad rap. They can be used incorrectly and cause you and others pain. In this Reveal episode, I talk about the different kinds of boundaries and how they can be used as self-care and teaching others how to treat you.  I also share about a hard boundary line I had to draw in my own life with my father. 

Do you ever get a complement and then dismiss it? Or when someone says something nice about you, in your head, you think of how it’s not true?   Why is it so easy to believe the negative about yourself? Why does it feel like work to accept and receive the positive?   What would happen if you started choosing to believe what’s good and true about yourself?? How would your life (and the lives of those around you) shift?   In this episode, Kim dives into why it’s easier to believe the negative and how to start choosing what you want to believe about yourself. 

I hear it all the time.  "I just want to get healthy" Sounds great, right?  The problem is that "healthy" is subjective and varies person to person. Diets, food labels and moralization of foods, exercises and behaviors leads to shame, guilt and frustration as being "healthy" looms further out of reach.  In this episode, we talk about how the stress of being "healthy" can actually keep you stuck. We talk about how to ditch labels and start making decisions about what you eat and how you move from a place of self and body respect, not from of a place of loathing or unhappiness. 

As a Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coach and Confidence Coach, I have learned a LOT about what my clients fear. It comes out as a desire to lose weight, get healthy or get fit. But what's underneath all of that is a fear that drives the decision making car into the proverbial tree (hello self-sabotage).  In this episode, I talk about how to put fear in the backseat instead of letting it drive. We'll take a hard look at making the switch to making decisions from a place of SELF and BODY respect. 

This time of year is hard for those who struggle with resisting, controlling, restriction and running from sugar and yummy foods. I used to do the same thing. Now, I have the freedom to enjoy whatever food I like no matter what time of year without GUILT!!!  Wanna know how? Listen on my friend!!! 

Welcome to the first episode of the Reveal Series! I am thrilled to be starting these monthly conversations about the struggles and challenges of tough topics like faith, sex, marriage, parenting, disordered eating, codependency and more! These episodes will be raw and real, so be ready for some unpolished moments! Being a "Christian" has been a major part of my identity for over 30 years. Having spent the last 15 months silently deconstructing, I am ready to start opening up conversations about what that looks like for me and what it means. I know this conversation will be healing for a lot of you and I hope it brings some connection and support to those of you who are searching and wrestling. 

Trauma is not new, but it is definitely a hot topic in the mental health community right now. There is a huge movement in the recognition of just how much trauma affects individuals physiologically, mentally, physically and emotionally.  In this episode, I chat with Licensed Professional Counselor and owner of Pacific Counseling and Neurotherapies, Esther Prelog, about how somatic reprocessing modalities like EMDR, Neurofeedback and Brainspotting can provide radical relief and support for those who are looking to start living their best life and overcome the blocks that keep you stuck.   

Where are my people pleasers at?? If you feel: -Taken advantage of -Anxious/stressed about the holidays -Worried about how others are feeling/thinking -Trapped by traditions or expectations  Then this episode is for YOU!!!  We're going to chat about how to use boundaries in real life as a means of self-care and enjoyment. Join me for a discussion of how to teach others about how to treat you in a loving non-apologetic way. 

We talk a lot about confidence on the show and Rachel O'Rourke embodies confidence that is contagious!! Rachel is a mom of four, a coach, founder, CEO, speaker, author and all around badass. In this packed episode, we talk about how she manifests success and what the major turning point that catapulted her into her dreams was.  Grab a notebook and pen and buckle up, friends, because this episode is going to blow your mind!!! 

The process is of body acceptance is not an easy one. It requires moving through the 5 stages of grief to finally achieve the freedom and peace that comes from accepting.  In this episode, I talk about what each stage looks like and how to support yourself as you move through it. As Fritz Perls said, "the only way out is through".  If you're ready to begin accepting your body, then this episode is a MUST! 

**If you haven't listened to Episode 104, do that FIRST**   When I talk about personal style and dressing for confidence, I hear a lot of the same objections....   -I don’t know what my personal style is.  -I don’t have anything that fits right. -I am in a style slump. -I need to lose weight first. -All my clothes are outdated.  -I am waiting to fit into my “before/after” clothes. -I don’t have money for new clothes.  -I don’t know how to put together outfits.  -I don’t know how to dress for my body type.  -I’m too tired to dress up. -I just want to be comfortable.    Although valid, these objections are getting in the way of you showing up the way you really want.   Join me for part 2 as I explore these objections and offer tools to help you strategize and get excited about dressing the body you have right NOW, not the one you wish you had.   

When I talk about personal style and dressing for confidence, I hear a lot of the same objections.  -I don’t know what my personal style is.  -I don’t have anything that fits right. -I am in a style slump. -I need to lose weight first. -All my clothes are outdated.  -I am waiting to fit into my “before/after” clothes. -I don’t have money for new clothes.  -I don’t know how to put together outfits.  -I don’t know how to dress for my body type.  -I’m too tired to dress up. -I just want to be comfortable.  Although valid, these objections are getting in the way of you showing up the way you really want. Join me as I explore these objections and offer tools to help you strategize and get excited about dressing the body you have right NOW, not the one you wish you had.  This is a two part series and episode 106 (Part 2) will be released next week, so make sure you subscribe to the show so you don't miss out! 

We all know about stress and the tips and tricks to manage it or reduce it.  BUT what if you were to discover the one true source of your stress and ELIMINATE it??? How would your life be different if you stressed less, had more peace and knew you were truly ENOUGH??? Join me as we break down what stress REALLY is and how you can relieve it starting NOW! 

As a Personal Trainer, it was my job to put my clients on the scale and track their "progress". The last ten years have taught me so much about what that does psychologically and emotionally to women, especially. Yet the struggle remains to be a certain weight and to depend on a metal box to tell you if you are Enough or not.  Join me as we discuss the confirmation bias you are seeking and how the beliefs you have around weight and health keep you addicted to this tool.   

Do you ever get that high excited feeling when you start something new?? Like a new diet, exercise program or habit? This high will always let you down because it's usually unsustainable and relies on things like momentum, motivation or willpower.  Join me for a discussion about what it looks like to care for your body and mind well and to let go of the need for momentum and motivation. 

EPISODE 100!!!! WOOHOO!!!! It's taken 1 year, 3 weeks, but it's finally here!!!! I am so excited for this amazing milestone with you.  In this episode, I share my story about how losing my mom to cancer inspired a 15 year journey to uncover what true health really is and looks like. I also get personal about how important self-love is and how it impacts your family forever.  I talk about how you are worth SO MUCH MORE than what you are currently settling for and what it looks like to move toward stepping into MORE. 

Stephania Sciamano is a Doctor, Money Coach, and Spiritual Specialist who believes that women experience a specific set of symptoms in their health and money at higher levels of success; she calls this the Mother-Lover Paradox. I started working with her in November of '18 and it has been a life-changing experience for me!! Join me as we discuss how she got to be where she is and how her teachings can transform your life!!!  Website Free FB group link  

Colleen O'Bryant is an herbalist and plant magic empowerer. She is pure magic when it comes to helping people actualize health and holistic wellness with the use of plants. She does one on one coaching, workshops, foraging classes and has an amazing intensive coming up that she will talk about in the episode.  Join me as we dive into what it looks like to be empowered by plants and to take health and healing into your own hands for sustainable health and wellness!  You can find Colleen and shop her products at www.wildrootsapothecary.com.

Are you ready to stop hating what you see in the mirror and start appreciating your body? Do you want to heal your relationship with your body and be confident showing up as you are right now? Are you longing to connect with other women and experience authentic healing? Then join Kim Ludeman and Julie Allen for a unique communal experience. Together we will support, encourage, and empower one another to stand up and say, "I deserve my own love." This episode is FULL of details all about the Reveal Retreat in Nashville, Tennessee where we will focus on embracing yourself and moving into Body Respect. Listen in for all the deets!!! You can also visit www.RevealRetreats.com!!  

You are worthy of love, acceptance and happiness which you know in your mind, but have trouble really letting take hold and sink in.  Your thoughts and beliefs impact your feelings and shape your actions which gives you a result. I made a handy little acronym for you: B- Beliefs E- Emotions A- Actions R- Results In this episode, I walk you through how changing your actions is not enough and how to begin changing your beliefs so you can finally start to let the belief of worthiness, acceptance and happiness take root in your heart.  

We haven't had much discussion around sex on this podcast and I thought after 94 episodes that it was probably time.  In this episode, I chat with Danielle Savory, master certified life coach and mindset/mindfulness teach and speaker, all about how sex impacts confidence and how increasing pleasure can really boost the way you see yourself.  Danielle helps women entrepreneurs experience more pleasurable sex. She has a podcast “It’s My Pleasure” to help women navigate their minds and connect with their bodies to create a mind-blowing sex life. Her educational background in neuroscience and biology heavily influence her matter of fact and humorous approach to this typically “taboo” subject. She is a wife, a mother and powerful business woman helping empowering the women around her to get out of their heads and into their vaginas as much as possible. You can find out more about Danielle's amazing coaching at www.Daniellesavory.com. 

How do you feel about your body? Like, really? For a lot of women, words like hate, loathe, disgust, frustration and longing come up. Feelings like this create a disrespect for your body which sabotages all attempts to change the shape of your body.  In this episode, I give you the three steps necessary for creating Body Respect so you can reclaim your confidence and make empowering decisions for yourself. 

This is the final episode of the Confident Parenting Summer Series featuring Life and Parenting Coach, Vibha Arora. Vibha brings a mix of Positive Discipline and Conscious Parenting techniques to parenting to help parents and caregivers feel more confident in their skills.  In this episode, we discuss what it looks like to let your kids fail. It's a controversial topic, but one that needs to be discussed. Come and join us for some amazing conversation around parenting and education. 

Mellisa Reeves is your resource and guide on the motherhood journey. She is an intuitive motherhood coach, holistic doula, sacred ceremonialist, mother to two earthlings plus three angels and the oldest of 10 kids! She is a powerful and vibrant woman who is focused on healing and transformational journey through the lens of motherhood. She is also passionate about bringing awareness to the power of a womans body, specifically through the menstrual cycle.  In this packed episode, we talk about her story of loss and and grief (*Trigger Warning for those who have lost a baby) and how she now uses that experience to help other women learn to trust their body again. We also talk about how using the moon to synch your cycle can help you amplify your life and business.     

How much time each day do you spend thinking about food? For a lot of people, it's a LOT! So much mental and emotional energy can go toward thinking about food. It can be draining, exhausting and frustrating especially if you are an emotional eater.  In this episode, I share three ways to stop thinking about food less which not only helped me in my journey, but are tools that I use every day with my clients. Let's free up some of that mental and emotional space spent on food so you can put it toward living life how you WANT!

Conscious Parenting and Positive Discipline Parenting Coach Vibha Arora is back on the show for the 5th installment of the Confident Parenting Summer Series!!!  Join us as we discuss how mom guilt holds us back and how to move past it so you can enjoy your life and parenting more fully! 

Madelyn Moon is a walking permission slip, soul igniter and devoted teacher. Her mission is to help you unify all the pieces that make you you including your Feminine with your Masculine, Light with your Dark, Introvert with your Extrovert and your Doing with your Being.   Through transformational experiences such as coaching, shadow work, spiritual healing, polarity, and Feminine // Masculine embodiment, Maddy will warmly guide you to see the beauty of what exists right now in this wildly beautiful and messy thing we call life.   In this episode, Maddy and I talk about what it looks like to let go of scarcity and to step into abundance. Make sure you check her out on her website and follow her on Instagram. She also hosts the Mind Body Musings podcast which you can find here! 

Dr Danielle LaSusa has a Ph.D in Philosophy and has been a passionate teacher and coach for the past thirteen years. She loves helping people use their philosophical thinking to transform their lives.  In this episode, we talk about her amazing journey with postpartum psychosis helped her move into the space of helping women understand the philosophical side of motherhood. She brings a fresh perspective to understanding how this transformation of women is so much more than meets the eye. 

Tressa is a former neurocognitive pathologist specializing in the psychology and neuroscience of interdependent function and communication. She is a published author of developmental cognition and language books for children, Mom of 5 daughters, Hemp CBD CEO, international speaker, mentor and corporate elite leadership and teams onsite and retreat facilitator. In this episode, we talk about SO much good stuff, but the takeaway is all about using breath to breathe in more self-compassion. 

Helping your kids move beyond saying just "sorry" is what OATMEAL is all about!! Join me as I team up with Life and Parent Coach, Vibha Arora, for our fourth installment of the Confident Parenting Summer Series! I am thrilled to have her on the show sharing her expertise with Conscious Parenting and Positive Discipline. 

You may be wondering what bear poop, glaciers and guilt all have in common. In this episode, I share my harrowing near-death story (ok, not exactly near-death, but it felt like it) of overcoming anxiety, fear and shame. We talk about: -Having boundaries around your energy and letting go of relationships you "SHOULD" be in.  -Viewing failures as findings. -Letting go of shame around medication and support. -Seeing mistakes as learning and growth opportunities. -How NOLOs are the greatest teachers.

In this episode, Tara McCann, Fertility Coach, shares with us not only her own moving story of struggling to get pregnant for two years, but also her incredible insights into what it means to trust your body. There is SO much good stuff in this episode, so make sure you tune in! 

Vibha Arora is back on the show for the third episode in our Confident Parenting Summer Series!! She is an amazing Life and Parenting Coach who utilizes Positive Discipline and Conscious Parenting to help you be the kind of parent/child role model you want to be . In this episode, we talk about how to handle lying and tattling and how you can use Conscious Parenting to check yourself before you wreck yourself with frustration and struggle.

Candis Hickman is on a mission to help you overcome your fear, activate your magic and get paid to be YOU! She is a Personal Branding Coach and Host of the Becoming Known Podcast, a talk show that highlight the highs and lows along the road to recognition by sharing the stories of influential entrepreneurs, entertainers, and creators. In this episode, Candis and I talk about how Personal Branding can help you up level your confidence and show up the way you want. 

The (W)holistic Health Boss, Jenn Malecha, supports busy, health-mind professionals in taking back control of their health by giving them access to the right lab tests and resources so they can find the missing pieces of their health puzzle, actually fix what is wrong and get back to feeling like themselves again. In this episode, Jenn and I chat about various forms of testing to find wholistic health and how to get on the path toward achieving it.

A big part of the war with food is started by the labels and Shoulds we use around them. Good/Bad, Healthy/Unhealthy- these trigger the inner rebel and steal away your power to make choices about food. You try to eat how you "should" when battling eating how you WANT. What would it look like to strip away food labels and Shoulds and simply eat how you WANT?