The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

In this episode of the Communicate and Connect Podcast, Liz talks with relationship coach Lauren Dry about the freeze response and how it shows up in communication, connection, and conflict. The freeze response is one of the most misunderstood nervous system reactions, especially in relationships. It can look like emotional shutdown, disconnection, or indifference but it's actually a survival mechanism. Lauren explains why the freeze response happens, how it affects both partners, and what you can do to move from disconnection to reconnection. In this episode, you'll learn: What the freeze response looks like in relationships How unconscious programming and attachment styles affect your reactions Why high-achieving people often experience freeze in their personal lives Simple somatic tools to help regulate your nervous system in the moment How to set connected boundaries that build safety instead of walls If you or your partner tend to shut down during conflict or feel emotionally frozen, this episode will give you practical tools and new insight to create a stronger, more connected relationship. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome to this episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we tackle the ever-relevant topic of how to deal with different parenting styles. In today's conversation, host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky is joined by Adam Angel, a specialist in supporting new dads and an advocate for thoughtful, collaborative parenting approaches. This episode is particularly significant for military families, who often face unique challenges and transitions. Adam begins by sharing his personal journey into fatherhood during the pandemic, which led to his development of a supportive group for new dads. Throughout the discussion, Adam and Dr. Polinsky explore the factors that contribute to varying parenting styles, including cultural backgrounds, childhood experiences, and personal values. They emphasize the importance of understanding child development stages and how this knowledge can bridge gaps between differing parenting philosophies. Together, they provide actionable advice on leveraging common goals to unite parenting efforts, such as focusing on long-term outcomes like resilience, empathy, and independence in children. The conversation centers around enhancing the parent-child relationship while navigating conflicts that often arise from different views on parenting. Adam shares valuable insights into the necessity of open communication between co-parents, encouraging listeners to engage in constructive dialogues that can lead to mutual compromise and understanding. In a society where parenting can be an isolated endeavor, Adam advocates for the importance of maintaining a supportive network, which can greatly enrich the parenting experience. This episode is a must-listen for parents looking to improve their relationship dynamics and discover effective strategies for dealing with different parenting styles. Whether you're part of a military family or simply navigating the daily challenges of parenting, tune in to learn how to enhance communication and connection in your family life while successfully dealing with differing parenting styles.   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

In this episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast, host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky welcomes intimacy expert Chloe Mascord to the show, where they dive deep into the intricacies of nurturing intimacy within relationships, with a special focus on the unique dynamics faced by military couples. Chloe, renowned for her expertise in the field, discusses the common challenges and misconceptions surrounding intimacy, emphasizing the crucial distinction between intimacy and sex and the need for emotional closeness for a fulfilling intimate life. Throughout the episode, Chloe offers a wealth of practical tips and strategies to help couples reignite the spark in their relationships, even when faced with hectic schedules and stress. They explore the impact of individual and external factors like stress and body image on intimacy and offer insights into building a positive, connected partnership. Chloe also highlights the power of mindful communication and the transformative effects of simple habits, such as scheduled quality time and thoughtful gestures, in fostering deeper connections. Listeners will gain valuable advice on strengthening their relationships, ensuring intimacy is not only maintained but thrives amidst life's challenges. Whether you're a military couple navigating deployment separations or simply looking to enhance your relationship, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you and your partner connect more deeply. Tune in to discover how to create a more intimate and connected relationship that withstands the test of time.   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.   

Welcome to Episode 060 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have an enlightening conversation with the incredible Kristal Desantis, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Austin, Texas. In this episode, we delve into the often-overlooked dynamics of men in relationships and the societal expectations that shape their roles and behaviors. Kristal shares her insights on the shifting roles of men, particularly the challenge of being valued for performance over personhood. We'll unpack the powerful metaphor of "lipstick on a pig" to illustrate the ways we sometimes mask relationship issues, and we'll discuss the knight-in-shining-armor stereotype that many men grapple with. One of the highlights of our discussion is Kristal's book, "Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man," and her innovative STRONG acronym—Safety, Trust, Respect, Openness, Nurturing, and Generosity—that serves as a comprehensive guide to building resilient and loving relationships. We'll touch on practical advice for military couples, the importance of vulnerability, and the impact of societal myths on male sexual readiness and desire. You'll also learn about the fun and transformative Bonding Boot Camps that Kristal and her husband run in Texas, offering couples a chance to reconnect and build better communication skills. Plus, you'll get a sneak peek at Kristal's online courses and in-person sessions designed to strengthen relationships. So, tune in for an episode packed with valuable insights and actionable advice to help make your relationship stronger than ever. Don't forget to check the show notes for links to Kristal's book, courses, and more! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome to Episode 59 of the Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a deeply insightful conversation lined up with our special guest, Leigh Conant, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in the military community. In this episode, we dive into the emotional and logistical complexities of military spouse relocation. Leigh shares her personal experience moving from a well-established community in New Orleans to Camp Lejeune in North Carolina, detailing the mix of excitement and profound grief that comes with leaving friends and cherished homes behind. We explore the hidden stresses of planning and the unique emotional burdens military spouses face during these transitions, including the phenomenon of delayed grief and somatic experiences linked to unprocessed emotions. Listen in as we discuss practical tips for managing these challenging relocations—embracing the full spectrum of complex emotions, fostering clear communication within families, and maintaining meaningful long-distance friendships. We'll also share insights on how busy lives can overshadow our emotional awareness and how embracing the richness of our experiences can bring deeper connection in relationships. Whether you're a military spouse navigating a move or anyone dealing with significant life changes, this episode is packed with valuable advice and heartfelt stories that resonate deeply. So, stay tuned, and let's embark on this journey together! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. In today's episode, titled "Coping with PCS Stress with Michelle Farmer," we dive deep into the unique challenges faced by military families during Permanent Change of Station (PCS) moves. Joining us is Michelle Farmer, a true expert in navigating military life, having experienced it from multiple perspectives—as an army brat, a service member, a military spouse, and a member of the reserves. Michelle and Dr. Polinsky explore a range of topics, from the complexities of communication within families and fostering open, vulnerable dialogues, to practical and emotional coping strategies during relocations. We'll discuss the importance of building a resilient family culture where difficult emotions can be addressed and understood, and share real-life experiences and tips for managing PCS stress, such as using "I" statements for couple communication, organizing essential documents, and leveraging community resources. Tune in as Michelle shares her personal stories of moving, making new friends, and the profound impact of support networks. We'll also delve into the powerful concepts of cognitive restructuring, reframing stressors, and balancing the scales between eustress and distress. Whether you're a military family or looking to improve communication and connection within your own home, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast, and check out our free ten-week relationship email course to enhance your communication and connection skills! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. In today's episode, we're diving into the unique challenges and enriching experiences that come with living overseas and navigating OCONUS military life. Our special guest, Brianna Mendoza, brings her wealth of experience as a military spouse and graduate student in marriage and family therapy, specifically focusing on military therapy. Brianna will share her journey of moving to Japan post-COVID, highlighting her adventures in nature hikes, traditional onsen visits, and connecting with locals through a dog café. We'll discuss the critical importance of communication and coping mechanisms within relationships during such transitions, and how these experiences can strengthen family dynamics. Brianna also offers practical tips for military spouses, from preparation and research before the move to celebrating the unique opportunities of living abroad. We'll explore the logistical hurdles, such as housing adjustments, pet limitations, and strategic planning for overseas assignments, as well as stress management and support networks. Finally, we wrap up with reflections on personal growth and the profound impact of these experiences on relationships and family life. Stay tuned for an insightful conversation packed with valuable advice and heartwarming encouragement for those embarking on their own OCONUS journeys. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast, and check out our free ten-week relationship email course to enhance your communication and connection skills! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. In today's episode, we're delving into the unique challenges and triumphs of military marriages with our special guests, Darrell and Veronica Williams. With an impressive 26-year marriage behind them, Darrell and Veronica share their journey from high school sweethearts to long-distance partners, offering invaluable insights into navigating military life together. Dr. Polinsky wraps up this heartfelt conversation by expressing gratitude for the wisdom and mentorship shared by the Williamses, and reminding listeners that there are helpful resources available in the show notes, including a link to Darrell and Veronica's coaching website and a free ten-week relationship email course. From the significance of clear communication and shared decision-making to building trust and balancing military and home life, this episode is packed with practical tips and inspirational stories. Darrell and Veronica emphasize viewing marriage as a commitment that transcends individual needs, rooted in faith, friendship, and mutual support. So, whether you're part of a military couple or seeking to strengthen your relationship, this episode is designed to help you thrive together. Stay tuned for a conversation filled with love, dedication, and actionable advice. And don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome to Episode 55 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today's episode, we're diving deep into the complex world of attachment theory and its intertwining with domestic violence, especially within the military context. Joining us is Jef Slootmaeckers, an Emotionally Focused Trainer with ICEEFT and therapist with a profound understanding of the relational dynamics related to domestic violence. In this episode, we explore the intricate balance between emotional regulation and survival strategies, focusing on the pivotal questions of attachment: "Are you there for me?" "Am I good enough?" and "Do I belong?" Through the epsiode, Jef and Liz discuss how these questions influence military relationships through the challenging phases of deployment, homecoming, and everyday interactions. We discuss the cycle of pursuing and withdrawing that many couples experience, emphasizing the unique stressors of military life, and the critical need for boundaries and support in cases of intimate partner violence (IPV). Jef sheds light on the different forms of IPV and the attachment dramas that often escalate conflicts, stressing the importance of deshaming and understanding in therapeutic settings. Listeners will gain valuable insights into the emotional struggles of military families, the powerful impact of naming and processing emotions, and the hope for resolving conflicts through empathy and connection. Join us as we navigate these sensitive topics and aim to normalize the complexities of military life while offering resources and support for couples in need. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation with Jef Slootmaeckers on attachment, love, trauma, and resilience. Don't forget to check out our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale for further insights into your relationship. Let's get started! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we explore the intricate dynamics of relationships and mental well-being, especially within military families. I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we delve into Episode 54: "How to Deal with Separation Anxiety in Relationships." Joining us is Megan McCullough, a licensed clinical social worker and military spouse with 19 years of experience navigating the unique challenges of military life. In this episode, we'll uncover the often unspoken struggles faced by military spouses, who are expected to "suck it up" and push forward amidst frequent and abrupt separations. Megan shares her invaluable personal insights into the cultural and emotional hurdles, emphasizing the importance of validating these experiences and promoting open discussion. Together, we'll discuss the normalization of seeking therapy, the crucial role of communication, and finding effective coping mechanisms like grounding techniques and self-soothing. This conversation sheds light on the messy realities of deployment and reintegration, from dealing with internal stigma to maintaining connections within dual-income households. Whether you're part of a military family or looking to understand more about separation anxiety, this episode offers practical advice and heartfelt encouragement. So, tune in as we navigate through the complexities of separation anxiety and strengthen our ability to communicate and connect.  Don't forget to check out our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale for further insights into your relationship. Let's get started! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to Episode 53 of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we are diving into the fascinating world of nervous system regulation with our esteemed guest, Michelle Cantrell. Michelle is a licensed professional clinical counselor and founder of the Center for Growth and Connection, specializing in emotionally focused therapy and EMDR. In this episode, Michelle shares powerful insights on how to recognize and manage a dysregulated nervous system, highlighting the impact it has on our relationships and emotional well-being. We'll explore techniques like EMDR's resourcing, physical activities for completing the stress response cycle, and the importance of self-regulation and co-regulation in emotional experiences with partners. Michelle and I discuss practical tools, including the RULER acronym for emotional intelligence, the benefits of creative expression, and the role of art therapy in achieving emotional balance. Plus, we'll uncover the surprising power of breath work, positive social interactions, and even crying as methods to soothe and connect. Join us as we unravel the complexities of emotional regulation, offering you effective strategies to bring calm and connection into your relationships. Don't forget to check out Michelle's practice at centerforgrowthandconnection.com and take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale for further insights. Let's get started!   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to a very special episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast titled "Attachment Theory and Healing from Betrayal Trauma with Kelly Bourque." Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. Together with our host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, marriage and family therapist Kelly Bourque dives deep into how individuals and couples can emerge stronger after experiencing profound relationship challenges. Drawing parallels between emotional healing and the strengthening of fractured bones, Kelly illuminates the journey of healing, emphasizing self-compassion and the necessity of professional help. The discussion takes a special focus on military couples navigating the turbulent waters of deployment, unveiling practical strategies for maintaining emotional closeness and preparing for transitions. We'll also explore the emotional turmoil following betrayal, the paths to recovery, and the profound importance of not facing these hardships alone. Through insightful analogies, expert advice, and Kelly's real-world experience, this episode provides a guide to understanding and overcoming betrayal trauma.   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to a very special episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast titled "Attachment Theory and Marriage with Dr. Greg Cheney." Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. In this episode, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky and Dr. Greg Cheney to dive into the fascinating world of Attachment Theory and its impact on marriage, especially within the context of military life. Dr. Cheney brings his unique perspective as a chaplain and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with extensive experience in the military, offering valuable insights into creating secure and connected relationships. Together, they explore the importance of safe haven and secure base relationships, the challenges faced by military couples, and practical strategies to strengthen emotional bonds. Join us as we unravel the complexities of attachment in relationships and discover how understanding these dynamics can lead to deeper connections and emotional well-being. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to a very special episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast titled "Attachment Parenting with Con Sheehan." Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. Today, we are joined by the esteemed clinical social worker Con Sheehan, who specializes in emotionally focused therapy for families and couples. In this episode, we delve into the world of attachment parenting, exploring how parents' availability and empathetic engagement play critical roles in fostering children's security and resilience. Con provides valuable insights into how children cope with feelings of caregiver inaccessibility and how this can influence their behavior and life choices, including the risks of substance use. We also discuss specific challenges faced by military families, such as managing parental roles during deployment and the unique stresses that can impact both children and parents. To aid our understanding, Con shares examples from his practice, focusing on creating a family environment where each member's needs are understood and met. We'll emphasize the importance of repair, availability, and intentional parenting—even discussing how therapy, even short-term, can be instrumental for families. Whether you're a parent feeling the weight of responsibility or someone interested in emotional and relationship health, this episode is packed with practical advice and deep insights to help you connect more deeply with your loved ones. Join us, and let's start building stronger family bonds today! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships and are joined by Dr. Clare Rosoman, a Clinical Psychologist in Brisbane, Australia. She is an international trainer in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is the author of "An Emotionally Focused Guide to Relationship Loss: Life after Love," and its companion workbook, Dr. Rosoman brings compassion, expertise, and grounded advice on navigating the turbulent seas of heartbreak. Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. In this episode, we'll explore the realities of divorce rates among military couples and delve into the "Goldilocks flexibility" needed to manage the delicate balance between honoring our feelings and moving forward pragmatically. Dr. Rosoman will reveal how your attachment style can be a guiding north star through the process of healing and growth after a relationship loss. Together, Dr. Rosoman and I discuss attachment theory as it relates to our need for closeness, comfort, and the inevitable impact on our emotional regulation when bonds are severed. We'll also share personal reflections on how varying attachment strategies play out in real life, particularly through the lens of military deployments. This episode isn't just about loss—it's a beacon of hope for rediscovering your capacity to thrive post-divorce, and a reminder that through understanding and grieving, we can emerge resilient and ready for deeper connections. So, let's navigate the journey of relationship loss and the transformative power of attachment theory. Whether you're grappling with the end of a relationship or seeking to understand your emotional landscape, we're here to guide you through it—with grace, empathy, and insight. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships with a highly anticipated guest, Dr. Bill Senyard, who brings 25 years of pastoral counseling experience and a deep understanding of attachment theory principles. Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships. In this episode, we'll explore the profound questions of "can I count on you" and "am I worthy of love," as we discuss how our earliest experiences shape our capacity for forming secure emotional connections. Dr. Senyard will guide us through the four quadrants of attachment theory—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—shedding light on how these styles influence our behaviors and relationships. We also delve into the intersection of attachment theory and spirituality, examining how a relationship with God can provide a sense of security and value, aiding in emotional self-regulation. Dr. Senyard shares insights into how spiritual attachment impacts interactions in our relationships, with a special focus on the unique challenges that military families may face. Through this journey, we'll confront the fear cycle, understand how to express hurt constructively, and learn the role of pastoral and EFT marriage counseling in fostering secure connections. Dr. Senyard will also introduce his "good enough parent online" program, offering faith-based, scientific parenting tips catered to improving parent-teen interactions, a resource that's especially relevant to our military families listening in. Whether you're looking to strengthen your relationship with your partner, navigate parenting in the digital age, or understand the power dynamics within spirituality, this episode provides guidance to help you out. So tune in as we seek to communicate, connect, and grow together right here on The Communicate & Connect Podcast. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we dive deep into the heart of relationships to uncover the secrets of connection and communication. I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today's episode, we're joined by Dr. James Hawkins, an expert Emotional Focused Therapy Trainer. Together, we'll explore the world of attachment theory in relationships, especially through the lens of military couples. The very essence of attachment – our inherent need for close, intimate connections – can sometimes lead us into a dance of pursuit and withdrawal with our partners. We'll delve into why 80% of couples fall into this relationshiip pattern and how our past experiences shape the way we reach for or respond to our loved ones. Dr. Hawkins brings a unique perspective to the table, teaching us how to navigate emotional signals, the effects of emotional flooding, and the importance of a "mission" focus in our relationships. In discussing implications for military coouuples, we discuss the invaluable role of rituals in maintaining connections despite physical distance and the strategy of visual and emotional connection during times of separation. For all you military couples out there, we understand the nuances of emotional regulation that your lifestyle demands. From turning down the dimmer switch of emotions during deployments, to flicking it back on to reconnect with family post-deployment, this episode aims to shed light on the delicate balance needed for a secure attachment bond – a cornerstone of resilient relationships. As always, remember that while our podcast is packed with valuable insights, it's not a substitute for professional therapy. We encourage you to take our attachment quiz (link below) to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship's dynamics and know when it may be time to seek counseling. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships. In today's episode, Attachment Theory 101, our host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky delves into the fundamental concepts of attachment theory and its impact on relationships, especially in the context of military couples. Elizabeth, a marriage counselor with a PhD in couples therapy, explores how attachment theory influences the development of personality, self-esteem, and coping mechanisms in both children and adults. Drawing from her research, Dr. Polinsky emphasizes the importance of building secure attachment bonds in relationships and discusses the role of mutual caretaking, sexuality, and exploration within secure relationships. She also introduces the concept of anxious and avoidant attachment styles, shedding light on how they manifest in relationships. Furthermore, she unveils a special freebie, The ARE Quiz, designed to help couples assess the security of their attachment bond. So, buckle up and get ready to explore the fascinating world of attachment theory with Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of yoru relatiionship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast! In this episode, we have a vital conversation on our agenda: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship. We delve into this sensitive topic due to an unexpected rescheduling, but it's a discussion that cannot be overstated in its importance. In our episode, we'll explore various forms of intimate partner violence, from the more apparent physical and emotional abuse, to the often-overlooked financial and digital dating abuse. We'll dissect the differences between situational partner violence and intimate terrorism and discuss why understanding these distinctions is crucial before considering measures like divorce. Statistics reveal that intimate partner violence and emotional abuse are alarmingly common, and we'll talk about the stigma faced by male victims and the prevalence of bi-directional violence, with a specific look at its impact in military relationships. We'll also scrutinize traditional therapy approaches and why they may have fallen short, leading us to the growing research that supports the use of couple therapy, especially emotionally focused therapy, for situational couple violence. We acknowledge the societal pressures and the risks of escalation that come with experiencing violence in a relationship. Our goal is to offer a haven for listeners to learn, seek support, and understand the reality of abuse, and the importance of professional help, whether through resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Military One Source, or our own ten-week Relationship Email Course. Remember, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy, but a guide to educate and support. If any content in today's episode triggers you, please reach out for help from a professional. ​ Prepare to learn, grow, and connect as we navigate the complex and troubling waters of relationship abuse. Stay tuned as we dive deep into the different types of abuse, their manifestations, and steps toward healing and healthier relationships. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome back to another episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a very special episode in store for you. We will be diving deep into the highs and lows of military life as a couple with our guests, Shanon and Matthew Morris. Shanon is a Navy veteran, and Matthew is a former Marine, making them the perfect pair to shed light on this unique and often challenging experience. In this episode, we'll discover how they met on a dating app called Bumble and embarked on a first date that lasted for hours, setting the stage for a truly meaningful connection. From there, we'll explore their whirlwind romance, with an engagement within seven months and a wedding within nine months. But as military life would have it, their journey was filled with various hurdles and hardships, including deployments, a motorcycle accident, and the tough process of going through the medical board and discharging from military service. As we delve into their story, Matthew and Shanon will share how their military career took an unexpected turn, forcing them to navigate a period of transition together. Alongside this, they also faced other major life changes, like Shanon getting laid off and discovering they were expecting a baby. Throughout it all, they found strength in their motto, "fighting naked," which encompasses vulnerability, light-heartedness, and the ability to resolve conflicts. Join us as we explore the lessons they've learned along the way, including their advice on effective communication and the importance of aligning core values. Plus, they recommend a fantastic book for couples to spark meaningful conversations about finance, spirituality, and more. So, grab your headphones and get ready for an insightful and uplifting episode on navigating military life as a couple with Shanon and Matthew Morris. Let's dive in!  >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome back to another episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a very special episode for you. Joining us are the dynamic duo of Drs. Dustin and Kerry Brockberg, experts in the field of chronic pain. In this episode, we dive deep into the topic of chronic pain in relationships. We often think of pain as purely physical, but it goes beyond that. The "acute pain mindset" that we're all familiar with doesn't apply to chronic pain, which requires ongoing interventions. In this epsiode, we expand our definition of pain to include not just physical pain, but also emotional and social pain. Drs. Brockberg bring a wealth of knowledge and expertise to this conversation as we explore the unique challenges that military service members and veterans face when it comes to chronic pain and reintegrating into society. We also delve into strategies for chronic pain management, ranging from relaxation techniques to cognitive behavioral therapy. Towards the end of the episode, we discuss the critical role of support systems and acceptance in managing chronic pain.  So, if you're ready to deepen your understanding of chronic pain in relationships, join us in this episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast with Drs. Dustin and Kerry Brockberg. It's time to challenge our perceptions and explore new ways of supporting veterans and service members who experience chronic pain. Let's dive in! >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome back to another episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a special guest joining us, military spouse and therapist Braquelle Murphy. In this episode, we'll be diving into the powerful topic of advocating for yourself. Braquelle shares her personal journey of overcoming challenges, making difficult decisions, and finding the support necessary to pursue her dreams. From navigating long-distance relationships in the military community to facing setbacks in her career, Braquelle's story is both inspiring and relatable. We'll explore the importance of surrounding yourself with the right support system, how to choose the people who will uplift you, and the significance of taking proactive steps even in the face of discomfort. So, whether you're seeking motivation to advocate for yourself or looking for practical tips on navigating challenging situations, this episode is for you. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome back to another episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a very special guest with us, Karen McMahon. In this episode, we delve into the topic of recovering from divorce. Karen, a divorce coach herself, shares her personal journey of going through a high conflict divorce and how it eventually became a catalyst for her personal growth and transformation. We explore the importance of self-reflection, taking responsibility, and finding forgiveness and compassion in order to heal and move forward. Karen also touches on the impact of divorce on children and the significance of modeling healthy relationships for them. If you're currently going through a divorce or have experienced one in the past, this episode is for you. Stay tuned as we dive into this conversation on recovering from divorce with Karen McMahon. Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

For Veterans leaving military life and transitioning to post-military life, there is often a healing journey that they have to go through. This journey can also involve self forgiveness. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Air Force Veteran Bob Taylor on his journey toward self forgiveness and his advice to other Veterans.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Bob Taylor's journey toward self forgiveness How to start the process toward self forgiveness  Advice for Veterans working toward self forgiveness  How military spouses can support the journey toward self forgiveness  5 signs of when to get professional help Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Many military couples are impacted by the experience of traumatic events, and this can take a  toll on the relationship. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews trauma expert Karen Robinson on ways to heal from trauma while in a relationship. In this podcast episode, we discuss: Symptoms of trauma How trauma impacts relationships Ways couples can work on improving communication after trauma  And individual and relational healing after trauma  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

How do you communicate needs in a relationship? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews mind-body coach Juliette Karaman on she teaches her coaching clients to communicate their needs in relationships.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The difference between relationship coaching and couples counseling The importance of communicating needs in a relationship How to communicate needs in a relationship Juliette's tips for military couples   Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Which business strategies can be helpful for relationships? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews relationship coach, Dr. Robin Buckley on business strategies she teaches her relationship coaching clients.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The difference between relationship coaching and couples counseling How to pick a good coach Business and coaching strategies for relationships Dr. Buckley's tips for military couples   Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

How do military spouses have their own careers while being married to the military? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Dr. Elaina DaLomba on the findings from her research related to how military spouses navigated their careers.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: How military spouse careers are related to relationship satisfaction Challenges military spouses face in employment Ways military spouses have been creative to pursue their careers even with the challenges of military life The key takeaways from Dr. DaLomba's research on military spouse employment    Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Having a personal identity is important for your relationship but can also help you stay more grounded in the face of life stressors. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews  LaQuita Monely on how to have a personal identity in a marriage. In this podcast episode, we discuss: What is identity and why is it important? Challenges of identity as a military spouse. How having your own identity is related to marriage success. Tips for military couples and spouses to develop a sense of identity.    Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Everyone has overwhelming emotions from time to time that impact their relationships. Learning to deal with overwhelming emotions can be helpful in terms of being able to get your needs met, but also in being able to have better communication with your partner. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Jackie Schuld on dealing with overwhelming emotions in a marriage. In this podcast episode, we discuss: Dealing with emotions in a marriage Why effectively dealing with emotions is especially important for military couples How Jackie Schuld teaches her clients to deal with overwhelming emotions Steps to identifying your needs beneath emotions:​ Tips for military couples dealing with overwhelming emotions   Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Very few people actually want advice when they are coming to you with a problem! In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Lisa Ligouri on the benefits of sharing personal experiences versus problem solving or advice giving in personal relationships.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The difference between experience sharing and advice giving How experience sharing can lead to deeper connection and relationships Steps in successful experience sharing Ways military couples can use experience sharing   Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Does premarital counseling actually help? This is the twelfth and final episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, marriage counselor Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Reverend Erica Callicutt on the benefits of premarital counseling.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Benefits of premarital couples counseling The process of premarital counseling  What to expect from working with a pastor versus a counselor for premarital counseling How to find a premarital counselor  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Are you creating the relationship habits you want for the long term? This is the eleventh episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, marriage counselor Elizabeth Polinsky discusses healthy relationship habits worth developing.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The difference between a habit and a routine How to build a habit Healthy relationship habits worth building  Ways you can build up healthy relationship habits  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Which communication skills are important to learn right from the start? This is the tenth episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, marriage counselor Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the communication skills that every newly-wed couple should learn.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Active listening skills in relationships Finding and expressing empathy Negotiation and conflict resolution skills  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Are you and your partner a team even when you fight? This is the ninth episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, marriage counselor Elizabeth Polinsky discusses how to fight fair in relationships.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Qualities of dirty fighting in relationships.  Qualities of fair fighting in relationships.  Tips to fight fair in relationships.  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Do you and your partner know each other's emotional triggers? This is the eighth episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, marriage counselor Elizabeth Polinsky discusses how to navigate emotional triggers in relationships.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Understanding emotional triggers in relationships.  Types of emotional triggers in relationships.  Identifying your emotional triggers.  Communicating about emotional triggers in relationships.  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

What's your communication style? How about your partner? This is the seventh episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, marriage counselor Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the importance of identifying your communication stress style so you can improve your relationship communication.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The 5 Styles of Communication. How stress changes how we communicate.  Importance of identifying your communication stress style.  The importance of authentic, straightforward, and congruent communication.  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Who gets to decide in the relationship? This is the sixth episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the importance of being on the same page with who gets to make the decision, when, and about what in relationships.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Power conflicts come from different opinions on who gets to make decisions.  5 options for making decisions in relationships.  Topics to decide on together about who gets to make decisions and when.  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

To combine finances or to not combine finances. This is the fifth episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the importance of being on the same page with your couple finances.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Three ways of handling couple finances Decision making around money Being on the same page with budgeting Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Do you know your relationship values? Are they different than your partner's? Let's find out! This is the fourth episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage. In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the importance of knowing your relationship values and how to decide on relationship values together with your partner.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The importance of knowing personal values Deciding your relationship values with your partner How to use an ACT Matrix to figure out your values Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Want my #1 tip for marriage? This is the third episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage.   In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the importance of regular marriage check-in meetings and how to do them.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: The importance of marriage meetings How marriage meetings improve your communication Topics to include in your marriage meetings Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Elizabeth Polinsky is now offering premarital intensives where you can get all your premarital counseling done in one day!  One premarital intensive will be given away as part of a raffle. Enter the raffle at the Virginia Beach Wedding Expo (Nov. 2021) and the Uniquely Yours Bridal Showcase (Jan. 2022). Both will be located at the Virginia Beach Convention Center.  Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

How do you know if you are compatible for marriage? This is the second episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage.   In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses tools and conversations to have to help you know if you are compatible for marriage.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Relationship assessments that can help you know your relationship strengths and weaknesses How creating a family tree can help you recognize and deal with generational patterns Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

How can you best prepare for marriage? This is the first episode of a series on Getting Ready for Marriage.   In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses the conversations to have before marriage.  In this podcast episode, we discuss: Why it is important to get on the same page before you are married The top conversations to have to start your marriage on the right foot How premarital couples counseling can help you with some of the difficult conversations Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the Getting Ready for Marriage Checklist here.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Wondering how to use your insurance for couples counseling? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses how to use your insurance couple therapy as well as tips for using Tricare insurance.    In this podcast episode, we discuss: Why not all couples therapists take insurance What to do if you find a couples counselor but they don't take your insurance Insurance requirements if your couples counselor does take your insurance Tips for using Tricare for couples counseling Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

If you, or someone you love, are an LGBT service member, then there are unique challenges to being in the military.   In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Dr. Kati McNamara on what it is like to be an LGBT couple in the military and how spouses can support each other.   In this podcast episode, we discuss: Brief history of LGBT Military experiences Summary of research on experiences of LGBT service members Discussion of the unique couple and family experiences of LGBT military families Tips for LGBT couples/families navigating military life Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Ever wonder if your relationship problems are solvable? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses: How to know if your problems are solvable What to do about unsolvable relationship problems Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

What can you expect when your loved one comes home after deployment? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses how to navigate reintegration after deployment. In this episode, we discuss: The impact of deployment Stages of reintegration  Tips for reintegration ​ Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

***Trigger Warning: This episode does briefly discuss a history of abuse***   Is love worth the risk? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews April, a military spouse, on her experiences of taking the risk on love.  We discuss challenges of military family life and infertility, as well as tips for communicating and growing closer together despite obstacles. In this episode, we discuss: Challenges of military family life  Impact of infertility   Tips for communicating  Tips for overcoming obstacles Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.  Download the Date Night Guide for your Love Language 

New military spouse? In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Ashlee, a previous military spouse, on things she wished she had known before marrying into the military. In this episode, you'll learn about how: The importance of having a support system  Choosing your support system wisely  Benefits of going to a spouse 101 class  Communicating with your spouse Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Can you balance love and a career? What if you are long-distance or have a lot of career ambition?  In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky interviews Chad Garrett, podcaster at Forerunner Productions and Air Force Geek Squad servicemember, on the struggles of the love versus career dilemma. In this episode, you'll learn about how: Military dating can be hard due to long-distance  Military dating can be hard due to career ambition  Being “Mr. Fix-It” isn't always helpful.  It is a balancing act between career and relationships Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.