The stress of separation is real — it can be upsetting for both you and your child. Whether it be a child sobbing for you to stay when the babysitter shows up or clinging to your leg at drop-off, it's easy to feel like you're doing it all wrong when these raw emotions take over. My New Life's Jessica Rolph welcomes Family Psychologist Ashleigh Warner to help parents navigate this tricky terrain. Ashleigh reassures us that these feelings are normal, and shares ways to make separations easier on everyone involved. Highlights: [1:45] What is causing our babies and toddlers to get so upset when we leave the room? [3:02] Ashleigh talks about Dr. Gordon Neufeld's model of attachment. [5:15] Ashleigh explains why it is completely normal for a child to struggle at drop-off. [6:37] What happens if there are a few caregivers, who might even change day by day? [7:30] How to handle attachment in a daycare setting for a baby? [9:03] Is sneaking out recommended? How should parents handle separation? [11:21] What can caretakers do to make separation less traumatic? [14:45] What is the role of distraction? Are distractions recommended? [15:58] How long is it okay for a child to be crying and upset over a separation? [17:34] Is it ok to go back for your child if the crying is more than you can handle? [21:05] Should caregivers be practicing a few things at home before a big transition like starting daycare or preschool? [22:30] What are ways that caregivers can build trust in their children that they will always return? [23:30] Jessica presents the question of a listener. She's a Navy mom who is gone a lot, and finds it painful when her child expresses a preference for Daddy. What advice does Ashleigh have for this mom? [25:02] How can a parent ease the transition when returning to work? [26:38] Jessica shares her takeaways from her conversation with Ashleigh Warner. Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com @raisinghumanskind Receive weekly emails about your child's development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.
Kim tells an embarrassing story about being a fan of this episode's writer, while Zazz has some very specific thoughts on Das*ni water. Oh, and also, the cast of characters of Dawson's Creek do different things.Season 4, Episode 21: “Separation Anxiety” From HBO Max: Gretchen's return to college forces Dawson to make an important decision of his own; Jen balks when Grams wants to sell the house to pay for her college tuition.
Your amazing sleeper becomes a toddler and suddenly needs you all the time at bedtime or during the night. Is something wrong? How do we get them back to independent sleep? I speak with Amna, a mom from the PDT community about her 26 months old daughter and separation anxiety she's having at bedtime. We discuss:Why daytime connection and boundaries matter for bedtimeHow to approach their disapproval with boundariesStrategies to provide some control for your toddler while you maintain boundariesMake sure to listen to the wrap-up as I share principles that can apply to many various parenting scenarios and for this case—overcoming advancing food anxietyIf you want to stay up to date on parenting, health, and development news or you want to be a parent guest on the podcast, sign up for our NewsletterThanks to our sponsor: Brainiac Foods. To check out Brainiac Food's line of products and receive 20% off your order, visit the following link to save 20% off your order:brainiacfoods.com/discount/20PEDSDOC
Luke 18:9-1418:9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt:18:10 "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.18:11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.18:12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.'18:13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!'18:14 I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted."
Separation Anxiety 6. Recorded on October 9, 2022. Anna and Ryan share their pop culture picks that make a separation even more delightful! Some of our recs: Divorce Story: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/divorce-story/id1500681762 Where Do We Begin?: https://www.estherperel.com/podcast Dear Therapist Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696 Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey: http://www.florencewilliams.com/new-page Wayward: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/668172/wayward-by-dana-spiotta/ Free Love: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/705316/free-love-by-tessa-hadley/9781039003057 The Worst Person in the World: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10370710/ Let 'Em Burn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pcsUJLRDjo Send feedback and glowing praise at email@example.com. Slide into our DMs on Insta at hereforthewrongreasonspodcast. Follow us @forwrongreasons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Kelly Eden with Highly Sensitive Refuge offers four steps to help your highly sensitive child with separation anxiety. Episode 100: 4 Steps to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child With Separation Anxiety by Kelly Eden Co-founders Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo's mission is to prove that high sensitivity can be strong. It's okay to be a highly sensitive person (HSP). In fact, the world could use a little more of what HSPs have. They are the voices of Highly Sensitive Refuge, a community where HSPs can be themselves, take a break from the harshness of the world, and feel understood. Our founders are Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo. The original post is located here: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-child-separation-anxiety/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Human evolution is incredible. We come out of the womb knowing that our greatest chance of survival is to attach to a primary caretaker who will keep us safe. And that innate wisdom is what motivates children to seek closeness and connection to their secure base. When children suffer from an anxiety disorder the threat detector in their brain is on overdrive and more and more they rely on their parents to protect and soothe them. And while parents have the best intentions, this interpersonal dance can actually serve to increase the severity and frequency of anxiety in children. Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center has pioneered a new treatment that interrupts that dance! By altering the way parents respond to their child when they are in distress, rather than fueling the flames of anxiety, parents are able to lessen the symptoms, all without asking their child to change his or her behavior in any way. SPACE has been a game changer in my private practice and I was delighted when Dr. Lebowitz agreed to come on the podcast to discuss the incredible work he is doing and the amazing results they are seeing. If you are interested in learning more about the work that Upshur Bren Psychology Group is doing to treat child anxiety and OCD with SPACE, go to upshurbren.com/space.
Day and Dream join the podcast and we figure out which is which! Click here for easy streaming or download - https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/n3jxph/Ep_155_Day_and_Dream_Pt_171dhd.mp3 Click to listen on Apple/iTunes Pandora Stitcher Google Podcasts Spotify iHeart Radio Find Day and Dream at these places- https://dayanddreamband.bandcamp.com/album/the-art-of-remembering-2 https://www.dayanddreamband.com/contact.html https://www.facebook.com/DayAndDreamBand https://www.instagram.com/dayanddreamband/ Thanks to Cormac Russell for the closing song https://www.facebook.com/cormacrussellmusic/ https://www.instagram.com/cormacrussellmusic/ Subscribe to the podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wnc-original-music/id1378776313 https://www.iheart.com/podcast/wnc-original-music-31067964/ This link has all the other places to subscribe https://gopod.me/wncom Follow on Social Media https://www.facebook.com/wncoriginalmusic https://www.wncoriginalmusic.com https://www.instagram.com/wnc_original_music/ All music used by permission Self described star gazers and forest dwellers, Day & Dream creates music that sounds like your favorite warm fuzzy blanket. Long time artists, musicians and singer/songwriters, Peter Frizzante and Abby Amaya, initially met in New York City, but didn't start their indie-rock dreampop shoegaze band together until they moved to Asheville, North Carolina. Abby's roots are in California 60s coastal pop, while Peter's is post-punk, indie-rock. Working together, the now husband and wife team showcase their admiration for sun-soaked sonic landscapes, lo-fi lounge, neo-psychedelia, fuzzy guitars, jazz tones, and melodic pop structures. Reverb soaked and layered with soft whispery vocals, the result is an energetic and memorable reverie. Peter, the morning person, and Abby, the night owl -- their band name is a nod to their opposite sleep schedules. The pair is often writing music or lyrics at home in between work and daily chores, finding inspiration in the human condition and the pain and joy of life. The band has played with many different local drummers (Jake Cavinder, Matt Hendler, Mike Fasano) and bass players (Marcos Waldheim, Erik Jan, Lowell Hobbs, Matt Tobia, Daniel Hyman). Their first single, Nocturnal Creatures, was recorded at El Rancho Morbido Studios with Ryan Slagle (Black Mountain, NC) and debuted in July 2018. This was soon followed by their first full length album, “With Every Breath You Die” in February 2019, recorded at Standard Electric Studios with Engineer Damon Moon & mastered by Greg Hendler in Atlanta. They went back to the studio in July of 2019 to record a handful of tracks at Echo Mountain Studios (Asheville, NC). The singles were engineered by Kenny Harrington, mastered by Jason NeSmith of Chase Park Transduction Studios (Athens, GA) & Geoff Pesche of world renowned Abbey Road Studios (London). After canceling most shows booked for the last two years, the band has stayed busy indoors with numerous live streams & shooting music videos. They've had singles featured on several compilations: Green Witch Records (NYC), Sunday Records (Chicago), Stereoactive Media (Austin/Brooklyn), Shoegaze Pilipinas (Philippines), Holy Crap Records (Black Mountain, NC), Editoris (Panama), OIM Records (Oakland, CA), Bummer Recordings (Chattanooga, TN), and Shiny Happy Records (Indonesia). In 2021, they signed with Lilystars Records (ADA, Warner Music Group), owned by Clementine Castro (Oranges & Lemons, The Camerawalls). The band issued several singles: Rabbit Hole, Separation Anxiety, and a remix of Cabin Fever by indie-electropop legends, Sweet Trip. Their second album, "The Art of Remembering" (mixed & mastered by Chrisanthony Kryptoneum Vinzons), released in February 2022, followed by a bout of live shows. Day & Dream is an official 2022 SXSW artist. Please stay tuned for live show updates. Canadian born but raised in Ireland, Cormac Russell has taken his music across the globe, including tours in England and China. He released his acclaimed fourth album titled 'Ghost Town' last year, which won some very favorable reviews in the press, as well as airplay on national and international radio. He will be releasing his fifth LP titled 'The Year I Broke The Stars' on October 28th. Playing all the instruments himself, he draws from a wide range of influences; from indie contemporaries like Kurt Vile and Bill Callahan to literary giants like Whitman and Rimbaud.
Alone time troubles, panic, and stress about leaving your dog at home - let's talk separation anxiety! In this episode, Jenna Teti from Think Smart Dog Training shares her story of supporting her dog Reuben through separation anxiety that appeared after some life changes, including the onset of the pandemic. We talk about what behaviors Jenna noticed that led her to getting help for Reuben and bust some myths about separation anxiety causes and treatment (spoiler: letting your dog cry it out won't make it better!). We also talk about how both dogs and humans need support when dealing with separation anxiety, and how making space for the human feelings is an important part of the process. I really enjoyed this conversation and I hope you do too! Connecting with Jenna: firstname.lastname@example.org IG: @thinksmartdogtraining Mentioned in this episode Finding a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer (CSAT) - https://malenademartini.com/ Finding a Separation Anxiety Pro Trainer - https://julienaismith.com/find-a-trainer/ Jackie Johnston, CSAT on Instagram @believeinyourdog
Welcome back! Here is this week's run down!Swipe Right & Left: Karina catches us with all you Thottie and Marco is living life.The Cheeseme: Not much Cheese this week but a lot of divorces!Ships n Guac Segment: Separation anxiety from your boo when traveling! Karina really felt it these past 2 weeks and Marco has gotten use to it since he travels for work. U Think It, We Say It! Sex Topic: BDSM! Both Thotties share their results from a BDSM test and learn new terminology! Karina explore a first with a new sex toy. Serious Culture Topic: Short and sweet. The Thotties talk about lack of minority representation when it comes to BDSM. U Member story: Karina recaps her last minute trip to HermosilloThank you all for listening, don't forget to follow, like, share, comment, subscribe to all our social media platforms, Apple Podcast and Spotify! SHARE SHARE SHARE BY WORD OF MOUTH YALL! IG- @mesith0tspod, @mlc_32, @karinatienetumbao Youtube- Mesi Thots https://youtube.com/channel/UCrEXJQyL8VhM--iWHS8YeNgTwitter- podmesiFB- Mesi Thots TikTok- mesithotspodEmail- email@example.com
Last week we talked about whether or not co-sleeping causes separation anxiety and concluded that no, it's more complicated than that and this week's question is related so I scheduled them right next to each other. Now you might remember I said that if a family is happy co-sleeping, then great. Go for it. But this family is not and I totally understand. It's ok to want to sleep by yourself. Will you be doing your child damage if you insist on it? Even if they're scared? No. Let me explain more about that. While I make every effort to ensure that the information I am sharing is accurate, I welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing or interacting on social media with our content establish a counselor-client relationship.
Welcome to our Divorce Miniseries here on TTFIO! Over the next few episodes I will be exploring how divorce affects the couple involved, as well as the people close to them. I'll have guests on who have been touched by divorce in different ways, but I'm starting the series off with a solo episode to dive deeper into my experience as a child of divorce. I expand on what I've previously shared on TTFIO and tell a story about the period in my childhood when I refused to spend any time at my dad's house. I've grown so much since my parents divorced and I can't wait to learn even more over this miniseries. Enjoy! Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@allypetitti?lang=en Follow me on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/allypetitti/ Al P's Three: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/27My1AtDVYwrb7kM0Ilqm2?si=2a70434127aa4519&nd=1
This is one of those parenting decisions that I don't think you can take out of context of the family functioning and say it is GOOD or BAD. It's neutral. It's good if your family likes it and it works and it's bad if your family doesn't like it and it doesn't work. But does it cause separation anxiety? Let's talk about it. While I make every effort to ensure that the information I am sharing is accurate, I welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing or interacting on social media with our content establish a counselor-client relationship.
Jessica Fisher, a legendary pet expert, is joining us for this podcast episode to help you help your cats with separation anxiety. Whether you're dealing with this issue now or want to be impowered to deal with the issue if/when it arises, you DON'T want to miss this one! Click here for her free download: https://www.thepetparentingreset.com/.../separation.../ SHOP Our Healthy Cat Products: http://bit.ly/Feline-Essential-Products SHOP FUN MERCHANDISE: https://bit.ly/Two-Crazy-Cat-Ladies-Merch Sign up for Dr. Judy Morgan's Cat Longevity Course: https://bit.ly/Dr-Judy-Feline-Longevity Qualify for a LIFETIME membership with Dr. Katie Woodley: https://calendly.com/.../healthy-holistic-pet-for-life... Use coupon code CRAZYCATLADIES for 33% off Smalls Cat Food: https://bit.ly/Smalls-Fresh-Cat-Food TEXT us your questions & cute kitty pix: 702-466-1150 BECOME a VIP member and join our private Facebook group: http://bit.ly/MemberSignupForm SUBSCRIBE to our podcast for exclusive chats on cats, life and business: http://bit.ly/Back-In-The-Closet --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/two-crazy-cat-ladies/message
Have you wondered if your dog likes music, the right volume to play it, or what music is best for a relaxed dog? On this episode with the Pet Calming Maestro, concert pianist and dog calming expert Lisa Spector, enjoy a private concert with the most relaxing music for dogs and learn relaxation solutions for your doodle!Her music is played in over 1,500 shelters (increasing adoptions as the dogs are less anxious!) and is prescribed by veterinarians to help with general and separation anxiety. Corinne The Doodle Pro™ plays this music daily in her home for doodles visiting for a Shed Free Stay™ in Denver, Colorado and is thrilled to spread the relaxation on both ends of the leash to doodle families all over the world with Lisa's dog calming piano music."I'll never forget this call from a shelter manager in Ohio and he was in tears and he said, Lisa, this is the first phone call from my desk I have been able to make in 10 years because it's finally quiet in here. Because your music has stopped the dogs from barking. Oh, and let me tell you about Trello. Trello has been in here a year. And finally, when he heard your music, he settled down and he got adopted and he is in his forever home now. And I just knew I had to get this out more." - Lisa SpectorBefore playing a piece live by modern composer Zach Gulaboff Davis just for our podcast listeners, Lisa answers your questions including:Does music calm down a dog?How does dog calming music work?Do dogs like the tv left on and does leaving the tv on help dogs with anxiety?What's the best volume to listen to music to help a dog with anxiety?Where can you find free music that relaxes dogs?What sounds relax dogs?Does dog calming music really work?What is the most calming music for dogs during fireworks, thunderstorms or car rides?Is calming music good for dogs?What's the most anxiety reducing music for dogs?Lisa gives our podcast listeners a streaming link to Dog Gone Calm, Vol. 1 along with a pdf with tips on using music to calm your dog's anxiety... separation, sound phobias, crate training, volume tips and more at myzenpet.com/tips.Her Dog Gone Calm Club is opening it's doors for a short time in September, you may join the waitlist at myzenpet.com/waitlist. If you're looking for free calming dog music without ads on Alexa, Youtube, or Spotify, enjoy Lisa's My Zen Pet's album Dog Gone Calm on all major streaming services. To join The Doodle Pro™ Society to enjoy bonus exclusives like Lisa's private concert or exclusive Q&A's with renowned experts, sign up for the waitlist at https://thedoodlepro.com/societywaitlist.Want to learn more about helping dogs with anxiety? Listen to The Doodle Pro Podcast Episode 7: How to Stop Your Dog From Barking with Dr. Sif.Enjoy our free gift to help you have more success brushing your doodle and become your groomer's new favorite client! Download our Groomers' Uncensored Guide to Brushing at thedoodlepro.com/uncensored
This week on Wait! Did I Roll a Wild? Tim and Dan are figuring out where to splash Red Skull, Master of Hydra. We also discuss this last week's stream with Ben and Alyssa where we played Separation Anxiety at 14 Threat and WE GOT A RELEASE DATE FOR SENTINELS! Twitch: Twitch.tv/professionalcasualnetwork Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfUO... Bearded Dragon Games (Pick up all your gaming needs): BeardedDragonGames.Online (use code 'professionalcasual' for free shipping in the continental US!) A special thanks to our Patreon backers who helped support us at Patreon.com/professionalcasual : Thank you to our most recent Patrons! Talfrost100, Brian W., Timothy G., Erik G, Teppo C., Justin K., Matt T., Rusty, Ara M., CyanidaCola, Nick A., Soren R., Kara N., Cliff K., David B., Cj K., David Q., Ben N., Syrpent, Zachary M., Robert W., Goodatthisgame, Christian H., Rakdos, Will J., Otis H, Troj, Kalle H., David H., John O., Mikasaz, OmnusProtocol, Jonaspdv, Steve T., Chris and Nicky, William, AW B., Sam M., Kristoffer w., Luka J., Lexa W., Cyder D., Joe M., Paul H., Kevin C., Joe W., Alexandre R., Scott F., Nerdtism, Joe L., Richard G., Dani2Time, Michael M, Rich M., Soul Eater, Aaron H., Eric B., Quinn B., John S., William S., Rob M., Rob, Franz B., Film-Lars, Leslie S., Matt F., Paul S., Christopher T., Matt L., Zane T., Thomas T, Joe J., Jens R., Oliver H., Mikolaj W., Andrew, Zach C., Justliketheplant, Neil L., Jared S., Mikael N., Taylor M., George F., Tom M., Devin M., Nicholas W., Jonas P., Jonathan L., Simon P., Gareth G., Jacob Y., Lady_Leah, Devin M., David R., Will B., Stephan S., Brian Y., William S., Path,Tim D., Simon W., Jake C., Theo A., Heber R., Ben R., Vaughan A., Daniel S., Lars, Taylor H., Blarin R., Gervasio L., Adam D., Craig G., Kevin C., WreckMyPodcast, Charlie S., Witchdream, Anthony R., Sarah B., Dan C., Dani, and Lindsay F. Mailing Address: P.O. Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861, United States Voicemail: 603-803-3235 (Country Code 001) Drive-Thru RPG: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/browse.p... Professional Casual Gear: https://teespring.com/stores/professi... Built Bar (Use link or use code 'professionalcasual' at checkout for discount): https://builtbar.com#?baapp=PROFESSIONALCASUAL Use Code 'professionalcasual' for 15% off RAZE Energy: https://reppsports.com/?rfsn=5472644....
In episode #90 your favorite CEOs Taylor Graham and Chloe Willemsen are temporarily back to recording remotely! Taylor is at home in Michigan visiting family this week, but that won't stop the CEOs from updating you guys on all the latest tea in both their dating lives including: Chloe's Hinge roses fail Taylor going into retrograde, breaking her dating hiatus, and going on 3 dates this week Taylor going on a friend date (and hitting on the bartender) Chloe and Taylor going on a date at the same bar at the same time Chloe being close to her breaking point with men And more! To get 30% off your Zencastr Professional account click HERE Feel free to stalk your hosts a little further: Chloe: @chloeelizabethcreative Taylor: @taygrahambiz and @sociallytaylored To check out the official CEOish website click HERE To ask us a question or request a guest, connect with us on Instagram and Twitter @ceoishpodcast or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
This week's podcast episode is for any school counselor that's been at their wit's end with a crying, screaming, perhaps running, student at the start of almost EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It's for school counselors who've tried all the advice they've seen elsewhere but are still shaking their head, wondering why they can't get a certain student to class without a fight. It's for the school counselor who braces themself when a particular student is dropped off at school, who tries desperately to manage the fallout of an anxious, angry student and not feel like a total failure when all eyes in the hallway are on THEM.Been there?If you've battled separation anxiety-type behaviors in students before or are smack-dab in the middle of it now, you need to listen to this episode. I'll talk about why separation anxiety isn't always what it seems, how popular advice is keeping you stuck in a cycle of chaos, and some alternative interventions you can work with instead to facilitate student success.Our goal at School for School Counselors is to help school counselors stay on fire, make huge impacts for students, and catalyze change for our roles through grassroots advocacy and collaboration. Listen to get to know more about us and our mission, feel empowered and inspired, and set yourself up for success in the wonderful world of school counseling.Hang out in our Facebook groupJump in, ask questions, share your ideas and become a part of the most empowering school counseling group on the planet! (Join us to see if we're right.)Check out our Modern Planner for School CounselorsA modern, elegant take on the traditional school counselor planner with an easy, minimalistic vibe. Join the School for School Counselors MastermindThe Mastermind is packed with all the things your grad program never taught you IN ADDITION TO unparalleled support and consultation. No more feeling alone, invisible, unappreciated, or like you just don't know what to do next. We've got you!Did someone share this podcast with you? Be sure to subscribe for all the new episodes!!Connect --> schoolforschoolcounselors.com
INTRODUCTION: Shawn Murphy is the host of the Above The Bar podcast and a fellow military veteran. Join us as we discuss military issues, what it's like being a latchkey kid, growing up with a drug dealing dad and my new psychedelic journey!!! INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): · Military Matters – Burn Pits & Legislation· Cannabis In Massachusetts · My New Drug Journey - #Psychedelics · Why Trauma Is The Real Gateway Drug· Having A Drug Dealing Dad· Relationships/Divorce In The Military· Can We Be Addicted To Marriage?· Latchkey Kid Issues· Military Recruiter Tea· Gay Marine Stories!!! CONNECT WITH SHAWN: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theabovethebarpodcast/YouTube: https://bit.ly/3QCmg05Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theabovethebarpodcast/Instagram: https://bit.ly/3LglTr1TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theabovethebarpodcastTwitter: https://bit.ly/3qzq5ssTwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/theabovethebarpodcastPodBean: https://theabovethebarpodcast.podbean.com CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comWebsite: https://www.DownUnderApparel.comYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonPinterest: https://www.pinterest.es/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/Email: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: · Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs · OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)o https://overviewbible.como https://www.youtube.com/c/OverviewBible · Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ · Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com · Upwork: https://www.upwork.com· FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS · Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org· American Legion: https://www.legion.org· What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: · PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon TRANSCRIPT: [00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: Shawn Murphy is the host of the above the bar podcast, and a fellow military veteran of mine. Join us today. As we discuss military issues, what it's like being a latchkey kid, what it's like growing up with a drug dealing data in my personal news psychedelic journey. Y'all they tuned listen close, and I hope you enjoy the fuck out of this episode.God bless [00:01:00] you.Hello everyone. And welcome to the sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Yes, he is up there. He is looking over me. He's looking over Sean. He is looking over all of you. Beautiful fuckers. And yes, Jesus told me to call you all fuckers today because he is super open minded and super and super loving and words like that.Simply don't offend him. Sean, how are you? Shawn: Wonderful there. Good, sir. How are you? De'Vannon: Fan fucking y'all Sean Murphy is the AU shit. The author is the host. Oh, bring us that book. I'm ready to say author, man, bring that book. It's Shawn: it's in the works. It's in the works. We gotta make it happen. He De'Vannon: is the host of the above the bar podcast where every week they belly up to the bar and talk about all kinds of shit.And I was on his show. And now we're doing the flip fuck thing that we often do [00:02:00] in the podcast industry. He did mean I'm gonna do him. You all this make me a bottom. Shawn: Does this make me a bottom, a De'Vannon: podcast bottom in this moment? Yes. And I prefer a nice dry fuck. I might spit on your whole little bit. Other than that I'll LA natural brow baby.Shawn: I'll try, I guess, you know, as having my own show, I'll try not to be too much of a power bottom. I guess. That's what that would make me right. If I have my own show and I'm on the other side, does that, what that makes me. De'Vannon: Let's abandon all these titles. Just do what the fuck says.Shawn: oh brother. It is good to see you, man. You're looking De'Vannon: good. You're looking gorgeous. I got my beard growing out. Cause my stylist is gonna turn in a weird ass color. As I approach 40 years old in December. I want to be sure that I get weirder and weirder as I get older and older. And and so yeah, y'all Sean, you know, and I love your beer too.We're compliment complimenting each other's you were before we got on the [00:03:00] broadcast, Sean is a military veteran. I'm a military veteran. And so show we're gonna be talking about his podcast, his military experience, and is gonna get dark is gonna get dim, but I will end it with a Ray of hope and light for our veterans out there.And so we need veterans, all of your motherfuckers out there. Couldn't run around. Doing the bullshit. You like to do fucking your brains out, doing all your drugs, you know, making all the money, raising all the children and everything. And I love all of those things, but without a military in place, crazy as dictators would come over here and snatch your shit from you in a minute, you know?And then the people who those crazy as dictators have sent into the country to spy and shed. And yeah, I mean, that's just the way the world works. We have spies in other countries, no reason for us to think that they don't have spies here. Right. But the military helps to keep all of that shit at ban from spiraling out of hand.So as two veterans, [00:04:00] we above all people have the right to comment on veterans' issues, more so than crazy as Republicans do. And anybody who dares to think that they're speaking on behalf of us, because usually I don't agree with what politicians say about veterans. And so, so we're gonna talk a lot about veterans in this episode.So I see the way you're nodding and then light in your eyes. So tell me what Tim was on your mind. Just let those thoughts out. Shawn: No, it, well, you know, it's funny when you bring that up, it, they suck on both sides of the fence. Yeah. They, they really do because you know, it's funny growing up in the timeframe that I grew up in the military, not I joined in 94.We were, it it's so funny. We were always told you vote Republican, that they they're gonna fund you. They're gonna give you money. They're gonna take care of you. Do you know who gave me my most pay raises in all my 20 years, who gave me the most pay raises De'Vannon: bill Shawn: Clinton, [00:05:00] bill Clinton in the Clinton administration.They're 50 50 in my book, cuz. Were the ones that realized a lot of guys were getting outta the service and taking better paying jobs than staying in because there was no money there in 94, I made less than a thousand dollars a month in the Marine Corps. Ooh. That was the DOD across the board. E one was less than a thousand dollars a month.And you still had taxes taken out of that. Yeah. Look at that. That's a sour face, like, and that's the facts, but I will also say on the flip side, he also created the bra base relocation closure act that closed down all those bases and shut down small towns that lived and thrived off those bases that existed.So I'm 50 50 on that guy, but it's funny. They both suck, you know, look at what just happened with the burn pit bill, like, and for, for those that don't know what the burn pit bill was, that's burning medical waste plastics, and anything else you could imagine and [00:06:00] service members having to do it without proper ventilation without respirators and getting sick.And these guys, the Republicans voted it down because they wanted to show the Democrats that they didn't like some other bill. And they were like, ha, ha look what we'll do. Like really like you did that. You bunch of SC holes. So that's my feelings on all of them. De'Vannon: Right. And so, so Senate Manor, majority leader, Chuck Schumer pulled like a Ropa dope on the Republicans and was able to get like a lot of the reconciliation infrastructure, climate change stuff passed through.And the Republicans felt tricked, you know, Biden and everything like that. I, I kind of felt tricked by it in a positive way because Democrats usually don't act like they have nuts and so I was like, wait, you actually. Back at the Republicans [00:07:00] one. And so, but they were real, but hurt over that shit and yeah, they did oh yeah.Cause it never happened. They're like the, the Republicans are like the bully who was used to getting their way. They're not used to anybody actually hitting them back. Or, and so the burn pit bill is something that Republicans kept pushing against why we don't know, but you know, and they were all pissy about it, but you know, it finally passed and everything like that.And so I, I just, since you mentioned bill, bill Clinton, BC, my homeboy, I Kansas bill. I love the fat art, Kansas bill. And there's a whole, like, what is it? A bill Clinton museum and shit. When I was in little rock or something. Well, Shawn: that's right. I forgot you did live in little rock. I, no, I didn't live De'Vannon: there.I just visited it, just friends. But there's like a whole museum in his honor. They love them. Some bill Clinton, they don't care how he got his Dick sucked and the Al office. And I, I commend him for playing the saxophone, smoking his weed. If he [00:08:00] did smoke weed, I just picture it with, he just didn't hell he didn't inhale getting his Dick sucked.I don't know what kind of marriage arrangement him and Hillary had. I commend her on keeping her shit classing and together, no matter what, I love me. Some bill Clinton, anybody who gonna get they knob swabbed in the oval office, which I would imagine every president has. Otherwise I fuck with you. Shawn: I mean, that's one of those weird ones where everybody was up in arms about it, but were you up in arms about Kennedy?Like, like let's, let's understand that the JFK. Was an old, was an old school pimp and he made that happen. Like let's not get that twisted like that. Don't he was there. I mean, so why do but he changed, you know, what, he changed an outlook of an entire generation towards those things. When he said I didn't have relations with that, with that woman.And everybody was like, see, do get in little head that [00:09:00] ain't relations. That ain't, that ain't nothing that ain't nothing. And it was like, yeah, go ahead and tell your old lady that see how that works out for you. De'Vannon: It wasn't me. mm-hmm what the camera say. And like the song, it wasn't me. Right? Shaggy. I think that was, he Shawn: was a Marine.Did you know he was a Marine? Nah. Yep. Shaggy was a, an artillery was in second battalion. Oh God can't think of what company, but he was, he was second battalion two 10. Two. Yeah. Second Italian 10th Marine regiment out of Jacksonville, North Carolina. He was an artillery Marine and I knew a guy.One of those knew a guy who knew a guy's situations, but knew somebody who knew him. And they said he used to go home every weekend to go do shows. Cuz that was, he wanted to have a music career, but he was an artillery Marine De'Vannon: that's dedication there. Now he's even that much more sex now that I know [00:10:00]he's a Marine I love it brother.So, so your show, the above the bar podcast. Why did you name the that? Shawn: Well, cuz all my equipment truly sits above my bar right now is you and I are talking all my equipment and is sitting above my bar. I have a bar in my home, but the other side to it is, is, is there's. I like double and undress the O the other side to it is the term keeping things above the bar, keeping things, real, keeping things legit.So I always enjoyed when I talked to people, hearing the real stories of their lives or their background, like you and I, when we talked, when you were on my show, you kept it real. There was, you know, there was real energy in that real advice, real things that had happened in your life. And you didn't sugarcoat 'em, you didn't weigh 'em down with, you know, blaming other people or blaming other.You were real about all of it. And that's what I love. So that's why it's the above the bar podcast. [00:11:00] All right. De'Vannon: Now, thank you for all those compliments and everything. I'm glad you appreciate the my direct tone. I'll say it like that. And so How long have you been doing Shawn: it? So we, we started this in June of last year.It was one of those situations where my, I had said many times I wanted to do it. I had been on some friends podcast that were very successful. We're on a network called the earplug podcast network. That's owned by a friend of mine, herb and been on his shows a bunch of times. And I kept saying I was gonna do it.I was gonna do it. My wife finally said on father's day, weekend of last year, she just turned around and she handed me all the equipment. And it was like, there you go. And it was actually might actually now think about it. It might have been father's day 20, 20 God time has flown. Cause we just finished [00:12:00] episode 1 36 or 1 37.Got another one tomorrow cuz today is Tuesday, right? Yeah. Today's Tuesday. So we got another one coming up, so just. Once it got going, it just kind of, it's had a life of its own. Hmm. De'Vannon: Well, I'm happy you found something that, that you love and oh my God, excuse me. I took my ass out in the backyard, my weed eater, call myself cutting fucking grass and shit like that because I just thought it was hideous. This is something I pay other people to do, particularly my parents this cause my, this is my parents doesn't mean that I'm gonna like have them work for free, you know, I still pay them, but I shouldn't do that.Cuz I had really sensitive allergies and I went out there and did it. I didn't put a mask on. So I've got the scratchy ass throat. It's like a whole thing. It's not the COVID I've never had COVID but I've been taking the test every day [00:13:00] just to be sure. And it's still negative. So it was just allergy. So hopefully I don't cough too fucking much.So who do you think your target audience is? So Shawn: I actually, do you know, what do you know about creating your audience avatar? Have you ever heard that term? De'Vannon: I think I've heard the term, but just tell us, Shawn: so, so I have a real good, good friend of mine, Jessica Gruber, she builds podcast or builds websites.And she has her own podcast also. And Jessica and I were talking and she said that to me, one day, she goes, who's your avatar? And I'm like, I, what? Like I'm thinking video game avatar or something like that. So she explained it to me and said, sent me some stuff, basically. It's. Kind of creating the image of what your target audience looks like and giving them a name that way when you're marketing yourself, you can actually say, well, would Steve, or would Jane listen to this [00:14:00] or that?So I've kind of figured it out that my target audience is probably late thirties at the youngest. I would say maybe mid up through unknown finished age, probably closer to mid forties. Not necessarily would they have a bachelor's degree, but they're educated in what they do. They're professionals, they like food, they like drink and they, like, they probably will be caught watching the history channel or some, or like documentaries or things of that nature they like to learn.Yeah, I would De'Vannon: imagine. And that's a beautiful avatar. I would imagine most people who bother to click on a podcast. Are trying to be enlightened on some level, I suppose, even an entertainment podcast and stuff like that. Even if it's finding out that, you know, ASRA Miller this Cod a felony for [00:15:00]being a little club to, you know, you know, you're still being enlightened.You're learning something you didn't know before. And I am not throwing shade at your Miller. They are very beautiful specimen of a human and baby. They can come and steal for me any day. I need, I need them to come steal my virginity all over again. That's what all over . That's what I need that beautiful, that beautiful thing to come and steal, baby.You didn't have to do all that. You could have come taken all that stress out right over here. so, and what do you, what are you drinking? Is that like a bourbon, a scar? Uh, So, Shawn: so I was drinking a little bit of so one of our former guests they have a. Distillery up here in the upstate New York area called new Scotland spirit.So I'm having a little bit there straight rye whiskey which is actually, I learned this from the, these guys, rye is a New York grain. So I didn't know that. So [00:16:00] all the times of hearing about rye whiskey, I learned from them. So they make what they call an empire rye. So it's mostly New York rye grain, and it's phenomenal.I love it. De'Vannon: Hmm. Well drink up. So as you were going over some of your target, I mean, you know, your kind of the breakdown of your show, I had to say, I agree. I feel like the information that you cover is very practical. Like some of the titles I wrote a few down like what is networking, how to build a website, how to start a music label.You know, it's like, you're trying to help people and to give them like steps and practical things that they can use. So I would not classify your podcast as an entertainment podcast. This is a very like lifestyle podcast. And it's like, you're trying to help people be better, like come up out of whatever their circumstance or situation is.It's like, you're trying to help them get knowledge and information that they, that might be out of their grasp. Other one it's. Thank you. And so now one is called cannabis. Oh, you're welcome sugar. Now one is called [00:17:00] cannabis and Massachusetts that I wanted to stop and kind of like meditate on this one here for a moment.These are some of my favorite titles after we get done with this Massachusetts meditation, I'm gonna ask you what your, what you feel like for you your most impactful episode was so you can just chew on that in the background. So this stood out to me because I'm on a new drug journey. And so when you did this episode on the cannabis of Massachusetts, tell me, what did you take from it?Shawn: You, you know, cannabis in Massachusetts is interesting because when, when they created their, their laws, so we have in New York, we have two states next to us that both have legalized marijuana. New York state is decriminalized marijuana, but we don't have any dispensaries other than for medical use.But it's interesting. And I'll tell you why the two states were interesting why the Massachusetts one. So we have Vermont, which is the only state ever [00:18:00] to legalize it through. Their actual, like it wasn't like the governor said, Hey, we're gonna legalize it. They actually voted it. The people voted it and said, we're gonna legalize it.But you and I couldn't go to Vermont and buy cannabis because in Vermont you have to be a Vermont resident with a Vermont driver's license or photo ID to buy there. So they're, they're, they're very cut off from it. But Massachusetts is interesting because what Massachusetts is completely legal, they are, were the first state on the east coast to go completely legal.And you think about that. That's the east coast, the whole east coast. They're the first ones. And they tied their marijuana laws to mirror their open container laws for alcohol, which I thought was genius. From the standpoint of, you know, it's not right to walk down the street with an open beer, you know, that I know that we were brought up that way.You know, you could be that person, but you know that the cops will stop you for an open [00:19:00]container. You've heard that. Okay. So they said, we're gonna do the same thing. If you're smoking a joint, walking down the street, don't walk down the street and smoke a joint. If you wanna sit on your front steps and smoke, go right ahead.But what I really gained from that episode in particular was I didn't realize how deep that, and it's a culture. I didn't realize how deep that culture was and really kind of focusing on that and, and listening to, to my guest and saying like, wow, you know, this really is, and we also came up with a dating show.Did you, did you listen to that one, hear about our dating show that we came up with, De'Vannon: do tell, just acted like I've never heard anything before. Okay. Shawn: Cuz this one, this one was pretty funny. So we're talking about it and everything. And we had come up with, you know, how you, you his name was Jarvis Jarvis and I were talking, he goes.You know, you have like [00:20:00] what's the, the rose ceremonies for the bachelorette and all that. And we decided that we could come up with one for cannabis. And instead of giving out roses, you give out buds and the competitions were gonna be like, rolling. How, you know, how good can your partner be? Like rolling?Are they really a road dog for you? Can they hide your stash? If you needed them? Like we had the entire thing fleshed out and I thought, this is great. And hilarious to talk about. He messaged me the other day. He's like, bro, we need to do this. I'm like what? He goes, no, no, I wanna do. I wanna come up with a show and he was dead serious.Cuz from that culture standpoint for a cannabis culture, they're not represented in those worlds. So it was a representation. I thought how great of an idea. And we. BS and on a podcast to come up with this. So that was, that was really kind of the, the nuts and bolts of that one. And it was just so much fun to talk to him about it.De'Vannon: And when you're [00:21:00] saying it's the culture, are you saying the culture of the cannabis or the culture in Massachusetts and of Shawn: culture? Cannabis culture itself. So, so I never thought of it as a culture, you know, growing up, you know, it was, oh, this dude smokes weed, that dude smokes weed. But you never thought about it from a culture standpoint, but when you talk to somebody that's really into it, or, or maybe from a medical standpoint, it's changed their lives, got them off of opioids or, or heavy medications.And you find out that truly it is a cultural thing.De'Vannon: Okay. That reminds me of how before. Franklin D Roosevelt, I believe it was issued this whole war on drugs, nonsense, how, you know, people were doing a lot of psychedelics and everything, and it was really, you know, you might call 'em hippies of what the fuck ever, but, you know, it was people, [00:22:00] you know, bonding over, you know, a, an experience that everyone was having, but it was very much more like a cultural movement than everything like that.Before everything got shut down. And so it sounds like that culture is coming back. Yeah. I mean, ever really went away, but it, you know, it's coming really more back into the mainstream. And so, which I appreciate. And so this leads me to my. Hm, you know, divulge of more of this new journey that I'm on.And so everyone knows my chaotic history being on and off drugs and stuff like that. Well, I watched two documentaries that sold me on psychedelics and I had never used psychedelics before I used to sell them, but I didn't do 'em. Maybe I did ask it, but I never hallucinated or whatever. But so I watched, what do they called the history of mental illnesses on PBS.Then the other one is called how to change your mind, which is [00:23:00] on Netflix. And so, and they both go over how psychedelics were used for health reasons and in clinics before, before the government made it all evil and the devil. And then in my opinion, the church echoed what the government was saying as they tend to do.And how now it's coming back, I'm particularly excited about these MDMA trials and how they've been used to treat veterans and stuff like that, you know, in the VA hospitals, in places and such. And so I'm actually going to go to Oregon. Next month to do an MDA trial thing. And also I'm going to do a psilocybin trial thing while I'm there really like a whole week, cuz everything's legal there and the therapists, you have a lot of these psilocybin centers and, and shit like that.And, and so, and I'm gonna video it of course. And and I hope that I have a total reaction. I did the IV ketamine thing, which is now legal in [00:24:00] all the states. I did not have a good experience with that because I don't think she gave me enough ketamine. And so fuck her. I'm never going back to that clinic.I'm gonna find me a clinic in a more progressive city where they won't mine upping the dose. But but the ketamine thing I did was only like an hour. The MDMA thing is an eight hour day. The SIL side thing is a separate eight hour day . So it's like a completely different. Shawn: Now, now when you're saying you're doing trials, does this mean that it's under the supervision, medical supervision?Is this pharmaceutical supervision? What do you mean by it's a trial? De'Vannon: No, there would be a licensed clinical social worker with me. It's not like a you know, like a, like an NIH, like a health Institute, sanction trial. Okay. My personal trial under the supervision of a medical person. So I'm not gonna go find homey with some MDMA and then be like, let me just and see what happens.No, like I'm, [00:25:00] I'm gonna be coached through the experience and everything like that. And so I'm super looking forward to it because, you know, I've, I've read and heard where these veterans have had things that I struggle with, like PTSD and OCD, you know, addiction to like drugs and shit like that. And they've been able to find whatever level of relief.And so. Shawn: Now is this gonna be like a microdosing thing? Like, I, I, I have a good buddy who, another vet who did the micro, whose brother is a psychologist, which one's an MD psychologist or psychiatrist, which one's the MD. No, I always get it backwards, whichever one's the MD. And he did the microdosing and was in a real bad funk with depression and all that.And he did microdosing and that was life changing for him. And, and he doesn't do it anymore, but he really, it, it helped to break that depression, but it was all microdosing. It wasn't anything [00:26:00]over the top, you know, he, wasn't watching pink bears fighting purple alligators or nothing crazy like that.But yeah, I mean, this is, I wanna hear about this. De'Vannon: I wanna see some goddamn pink bear fighting purple alligators. I guess, I guess what I wanna know is that I really, really had a true outof body experience. But if, for me, it doesn't require me to see strange things for me to get the healing. Then I'll take the healing, but you know, everyone I saw in these documentaries or going through these convulsions and crying and hollering, and it really worked for them.It, it, you have the fit and then you calm 'em the fuck down. And then it's like, you're healed. So for me, it looks like the, the trauma that would in, went into the person is forced out through the MDM a or the LSD or the Mein or the psilocybin or whatever, because that's the way it is. Trauma goes in. It comes out.And when it does, you might holler and holler or whatever. And so I want to know I've been changed. I wanna know I've been touched. Shawn: Well, I was thinking [00:27:00] about you the other day. I have to tell you this. I was watching a video and, and it wasn't one of those kind of videos. It was a different video. Mm-hmm and The gentleman said, you know, we all wanna say that marijuana is the gateway drug.It's not trauma is the gateway drug. If you really look at why people, you just said it yourself, you've had all these issues that fed, you know, your issues in the church and all these other situations for you that fed for your trauma and the drugs. Trauma is the gateway drug. And it, it was such a powerful statement to hear.And I thought about you brother De'Vannon: Ja. So we'll see how it goes. Thank you so much for thinking of me and I will be as transparent as I can legally be. With, with what I intend to do. And so we will go from there and I wanna do all the things now, you know, all the AKA and everything like that. And so, and let's just [00:28:00] see.So for you, out of all the episodes you've recorded, what, what do you think's been the most impactful one to you? You know, one that when you turn the mic off, you just couldn't stop thinking about it, whether you were disturbed, like in a good way or in a not so great way. Shawn: So it's definitely difficult to say that, you know, pick your favorites, you know, it's like they say, pick your favorite child.So I, I, I don't know that, but I will tell you a lot of my guests have become good acquaintances, people I talk to on a regular basis. People I communicate with on a regular basis, I will say though, that probably the one that as a parent. Shocked me the most and really was like, I, I don't know how I would go with this is gentleman named Jeff OWK Jeff is from, and it's funny enough, cuz he's from about two hours, [00:29:00] three hours, south of me in New York.He's from the peak school area of New York. And if you've ever been to peak skill, it's a fairly quiet area. Nothing really goes on there. Jeff, at age 16 was sent to adult prison for a rape and murder. He did not commit. And every, every story you've ever heard where you go, the police can't do that. The police wouldn't do that.16 years old inter you know, interviewing him without a lawyer, without his parents being aware that he's being taken away playing good cop, bad cop not feeding him. And just giving him at 16 coffee and cigarettes and zipping him up and telling him if he doesn't talk, they're gonna whoop his ass.He's gonna go to jail. His parents will be, you know, be charged because they're, they're hiding him, all [00:30:00] these things, his court appoint lawyer, because his family couldn't afford. It never took the time to follow up on BS, evidence on things that just didn't make sense all the way through. I mean, and there's a documentary it's called conviction.It's done by JIA works. And that's how I met Jeff was I interviewed JIA on her. It's J I a and then w E R T Z. She did this documentary on his life and it's on prime, Amazon prime. And, and it's worth watching. It's called conviction, but just watching that and then talking to him and him and I have become good friends.That made such an impact on me as a parent to think that, you know, he, and the reason they picked him out of it all was cuz he was a quiet kid. He was quiet. So today we would say, oh, that kid might have some me mental health issues, but he [00:31:00] did 16 years in jail finally was released when the person who actually committed the crime DNA evidence tied him to the crime and he goes, oh yeah, I did that.Even though Jeff spent all those years in jail and the best part about it though is Jeff got out, Jeff is now got an Esquire after his name, cuz he is a lawyer. And he actually has his own foundation where he defends people that have been wrongly accused and fights for their freedom. So that was probably of, of everybody that I still talk.You know, I talk about all of them. We could talk about the guy, what is aliens, Jesus and the afterlife have in common. That was the week prior to that. And that was one, one of that was some wild shit, but the one with Jeff DYS is probably one of the most impactful in my, in my life life. Like just thinking about things De'Vannon: well is you're right.And I'm taking [00:32:00] my notes and everything like that. Cuz I have to look up these documentaries and everything like that. That, that is very, very useful. Good Lord. Okay. So speaking of fuck, speaking of fucked up childhoods, we're gonna shift gears from your show and talk more about you personally because the people would just fall in love with you, man.And so, so you came from a single parent home cause your dad was arrested when you were young. Mm-hmm where were you born? Where did this happen? Tell us so, Shawn: so I'm. Was an only child. My mother raised me, really. My mother raised me from age 11 to 18 and my dad, my dad did a one year. I always tell people I've never had any problems admitting this.My dad did a one year clip for possession of illegal firearm, cuz he didn't have enough Coke on him at the time for them to put him in jail for that. And my dad dealt, but we, we came from a good life. You know, we had, we owned a liquor [00:33:00] store with a, with a dance club in it. We owned a bar. We were doing good.And we went from that level to my mom, had to sell it all. We moved into a house that didn't have a refer, didn't have a stove in it. We had to wait till she could save up to buy a stove and we used to joke around and call my mom the microwave mama, cuz she could cook anything in a M. And we did. All right.She had a microwave in electric skillet. My mother made it happen. It's actually her birthday today. She turned 70 today. She's a phenomenal woman and, and she made it happen. But you know, I, I was the original, I was like one of those true latchkey kids. You remember latchkey kids that term mm-hmm . So I was a latchkey kid, you know, I, my mom dropped me off at school and then she didn't get home till sometime around five 30.You know, I Def had to fend for myself, which I should have gotten [00:34:00] so much more trouble. I just didn't get caught I just didn't get caught. But yeah, you know, and on my 17th, 17th birthday, my mother knew that I needed more male influences, you know, positive male influences. So 17th birthday, she actually took me to the recruiter's office July 20th, 1993.I had already taken the Ava, went to the recruiter's office, signed up July 21st. I swore in July 6th of 94, I was standing on yellow footprints and headed all, headed down to Paris Allen, standing on the yellow footprints, and then did that for 20 years. But, but you know, I was I was a wayward soul as a kid.I, but I had uncles that, that stepped in and tried to fill that father role. But my uncle who did most of it, he was only eight years older than me. So think about that. He was eight years older than me trying to tell me stuff. So the, the conversations were, [00:35:00] I would almost say they, they had more value cuz they were more relevant, but sometimes I had a, he was closer to a brother than anything.De'Vannon: Okay. And that's your biological dad? So Shawn: my biological dad he popped back. He was back in my life. I guess he was back in my life when I was about 16 and try, you know, he tried, but it wasn't until after I graduated from boot camp that he really, you know, we were back on seeing eye to eye, cuz we didn't see eye to eye before then, you know, eye was that kid, you know, you, you treated my mom bad.You, this, you that. And it, it was tough on me. So it, but it was wasn't till I graduated from boot camp that we kind of were like, I'm a man, you'll talk to me like one. And we treated each other in a different way. [00:36:00]De'Vannon: Well, that's good. I'm here for some reconciliation. So y'all when he says like, as valve that stands for arm services, vocational aptitude battery test, you gotta take.Before you can scoot off to the military latchkey kid is just like a kid is at home without adult supervision. Just kinda like a key you know? So, so you said you knew your dad was, was dealing this cocaine. Oh yeah. So how old were you when you first became aware that he was dealing the Shawn: drugs? I guess I was probably, well, I guess it was probably right around when my parents divorced at age 11.And even that, like, I still remember that I was asleep in bed, woke up to my mother, waking me up, going, I'm putting your father's stuff in trash bags and putting it outside. And I went okay. And went right back to sleep. It had 0.0 impact on me at that point. That's what you're doing. Okay. Fine. I don't give a shit.He ain't around anyway. [00:37:00] He ain't, he ain't here. And but I was probably about that age, but even before then, like, My dad smoked weed, always did. And, and I knew, like I knew how to put it. I knew what it was, but I didn't know what it was, if that makes sense to say it in that way with different inflection.Like I knew dad's got a stash underneath this couch, it's in this bag. I don't touch it because it's dads didn't know what it did. Didn't know what it meant, but I just knew I didn't touch it. De'Vannon: Okay. I can understand that. I remember watching like an older sibling of mine like I think vomit up cocaine, you know, when I was like, you know, super young and I didn't really know what it was.Maybe I kind of knew it. It's kinda like, it's kind of like a, a foreboding sense of knowing I get that. Mm-hmm so let me be clear. So you had like a biological dad and a stepdad, or are we talking about this person? No, no. So Shawn: I had, I had my [00:38:00] biological father and then I had an uncle who was eight years older than me who really.Was the major male role model and help helped get me through high school and everything. De'Vannon: Okay. Okay. So now you also told me before that you personally were divorced twice and you were married three times. So do you feel like watching what happened with your parents attributed to your situation? Or was it cuz you were in the military or what do you think?Shawn: You know, I, I would say the, the first one was very military. You know, it was that it, and they don't, this is probably one of those things. I think we don't do enough. Good jobs with in the services is dealing with separation anxiety. You know, I was a 17 year old kid when I went to boot camp, turned to 18 in boot camp.Here I am. I'm gonna show up in Jacksonville, North Carolina, I got bills to [00:39:00] pay. I've gotta get myself going. I'm I'm on my own. And the only people that tell me, they love me or care for me are back home. So, but I can't be there every day. So why, if I can get one of those people to come with me and tell me that they love me again, why wouldn't I do it?So that was my first marriage. Good woman have no, no ill things. We've talked years later, we talked afterwards, cuz we were probably married for months. Like we're legally married for a year, but we were only together for a few months after we, we got married and we were high school sweethearts, but I have, we've talked years later and you know, looking back, she was like, oh, I'm sorry, this, that, and the other I'm like, it's fine.I understand. We were kids. I was like, she was 18 and I was 20, you know, we were kids. Like I turned 20 just after we got married and we were kids. [00:40:00] Which shouldn't have ever happened, but it was separation anxiety that caused that. The second one, it was military related stress. I promise you it was a, it takes a special person to be a military spouse.It truly does. You have to be a kind of person who can operate on their own with minimal interaction from the other person and be willing when that other person shows up to allow them to assert whatever force they have in it. But at the same time that service member has to be understand that you're not around all the time.So the rules have already been set. You have to find out what those rules are and let whoever's been leading that charge, tell you what the rules are and it's tough. So I went, I was on recruiting duty at the time. I was probably working 70 plus hours a week, not home getting up at crack of Dawn driving at this time.It was I was. Driving from [00:41:00] Redding, Pennsylvania to ha or horse from Pennsylvania about an hour, hour and a half each way. Every day, because the housing crash happened. We were at one, one, I was in charge of one location. They switched locations. And it was really just that stress finally broke our marriage.So De'Vannon: it's hard to be in a relationship period where you've got two different people who exist in two different worlds. And you're trying to figure out a way to make those collide without destroying each other one another. And so a military relationship, like what saying the chaotic nature of it is something I witnessed when I was an air force recruiter because some of the wives are the, you know, would be military wives.You know, they really couldn't handle it. Like they didn't. You know, he's gonna go to the military, but why should I [00:42:00] leave my mom and my sister, you know, is something the girl might think. And so I really feel like they should do like the military do like coaching and transition training and things like that for the spouses and stuff like that.I'm not overly fond of necessarily the way the military gets people ready to either enlist or to come out of the service. And so I feel like there's more that can be done both going in and coming out, but a lot, lot of, a lot, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of the women really had to come home. And I, and I see women because I really wasn't around a lot of females, you know, was only around guys and they had wives because unfortunately I was entering don't don't tell.And so, oh my gosh. I can only imagine the gay parties they're having in the fucking military now without me. shit. so, so, so wait, so you, you, you mentioned Before that you were always trying to [00:43:00] get married mm-hmm . And that, that sort of statement reminds me of Ernest Hemingway you know, very popular author and everything like that.And I watched documentaries on Ernest Hemingway and you know, he was an alcoholic and some might say a narcissist and a few other things, but there was a thing with him, with Mr. Hemingway, where he was always, always married, you know, he would like meet a woman and be like, I want you to be my wife, you know, while he still had another wife, you know, and then he, you know, she would be getting along, you know, he would, he'd be scooting her along sooner or later.But, you know, when I read that from my notes about you, that you were always trying to get married, it reminded me of Ernest Hemingway. Now you have an Ernest Hemingway is type beard going on right now. And so talk to me about this needed to be married. Shawn: You know, I, I think it, it was that It goes back to that [00:44:00] separation, anxiety being alone.Like I said, I mean, if I look at my, my life, like I said, latchkey kid, I was always by myself unless I went to a friend's house, get into the service. I separate myself from anything that I can consider as a connection and I have to build my own. So why not bring that connection with me? It, it took a lot of years before I could be on my own.And I think I, I attributed for a long time being married with being with someone, if that makes sense, like having someone else in my life, that's how you fill that space, whether it was good or bad. That's how you did it. Are you still De'Vannon: married? IShawn: am. I'm now I've been married to my wife now for five years.Very happy, much more mature relationship too, though. You know, I was much older. When I [00:45:00] got married, we both had careers. We both had lives. We both know how to, we, we can, at this point in my life, I can function differently. I don't need, I love spending time with my wife and doing things with my wife.I enjoy that, but we don't have to be up each other's as to, to feel that. And, and to, to have that trust factor, De'Vannon: right. I say, wait till you're at least 30, you know, all in my twenties, I used to think I knew who I was and I was an adult. It wasn't until I was like in my lower thirties that I really think I solidified who I was so slow down when y'all, there's no need to get married, do all the traveling, do all your experimentations, whatever, and then save all this getting kids and all that for later to darling, there's no need to rush.Shawn: And if you can avoid kids, just avoid it completely. I have so much more money. I love my children, but God, I always think about, that's see, this is something that once you have children, you [00:46:00] think about all the time. Like, God, I love my kids, but man, if I didn't have y'all, do you know how much money I would have?De'Vannon: I'd be paid. Shawn: I think a little S De'Vannon: I'd say I say that about my cats, but you know, they're probably only $30 a Shawn: month. Yeah, no, your cats are good. Like between a bag of food. And if you have like healthcare for them, you know, the cats are good here. There there's no problem with them. I've got two and I love my cats.So you De'Vannon: mentioned like yellow footprints. A couple times when you, what, what is that like when you talk about chipping off to the Marine, what is that? Shawn: So that's the, a very iconic Marine Corps thing. So if you look up yellow footprints, when you step off the bus at Paris island, or if you're from the left coast in San Diego, there are painted on the ground yellow footprints because that's where you have to stand.And they're painted at a 45 degree angle because that's where your feet need to go. So that to start teaching you the position of attention right away. So that's, [00:47:00] so you'll hear Marines, talk about, you know, landing on the yellow footprints or standing on the yellow footprints. De'Vannon: Paris island is the Marine Corps bootcamp.Right? We Shawn: have two. We have. So if you're east of the Mississippi, you go to Paris island. If you're west of the Mississippi, you go to San De'Vannon: Diego. Mm. I would've gone to Sango. Sango does Mississippi river runs right through Baton Rouge where I'm at on the west. Atton Rouge, Shawn: Baton and love Louisiana. I have to tell you that I love Louisiana.I've only been once and I would, I've been once and I would pack my shit up and move. Okay, De'Vannon: well, you can come here and then I'll go to Los Angeles. Shawn: Well, I'm in, well, I'm in all small Albany, New York. So you, you have to come to small Albany if we're gonna swap. De'Vannon: Oh, didn't you mention New York. There is a, a people of color psychedelics collective.That's a lady heads out of New York who I hope to have on my show. What it's like a whole nonprofit. And it's all about like the benefits of psychedelics and shit. [00:48:00] It's like the people of color psychedelic collective. It's like a thing. People Shawn: of color psychedelic, collective , De'Vannon: Yas . And so Shawn: P O S C C De'Vannon: Paska, something like that.But if I can get ahold of her and set it up, I will be flying my black queer ass to New York so I can get high on whatever the shit, whatever. Fuck I can give my hands on. If, Shawn: if you can get her on your show, I expect that you introduce me to her so I can have her on my show cuz I would love, see, that's see that's my show in a nutshell, somebody being like, I got this person, this is what they do.And, and I always tell people, my show should feel like you walked into a bar and you're overhearing somebody else's conversation. And, and if you're the guest that should feel like you walked in the bar and the bartender goes, Hey, you do that drugs in Jesus thing, right? yes, I have a podcast. And that's what it should feel like ad hearing that, oh God, I [00:49:00] would love to talk to her.What's her name there is she now De'Vannon: I've made a note. We'll talk about it. call. What is she call her now? Shawn: oh, De'Vannon: so great. So, so you were in the Marines and I have to say Marines are very sexy. Love the outfits and the uniforms. Was there any sort of scandalous, was there any kind of gay sex that you saw in bootcamp in training?I wanna know some tea, some dirt, some Marine, so Shawn: drama. So nothing that I ever ran into personally, like nobody that ever directly came on me. I'm not, I guess I wasn't that cute. I was, I was five, seven, a hundred twenty seven pounds when I got in. So it had to been into it to, into twinks or something like that to have looked at me that way.But but there was always stories. So for example, I remember in my first command, there was a Marine. I actually remember his name, but I won't say his name who. Ran down to the duty office, which was in the duty office is a Marine who's [00:50:00] in charge of the barracks for that day, making sure that nothing bad happens, reports on it.He ran down to the duty office, but booty naked because his roommate who was a big dude, and this guy was like 5, 1 52. And his roommate was a big dude, was standing at his door when he came out of the shower and basically tried to have his way with him, snatched his towel off of him and everything. And the only reason I remember this is because as I was checking in to our command that day, he was in handcuffs, leaving De'Vannon: who, the skinny guy or Shawn: the big guy, the big guy, the, he was in handcuffs leaving.So, so there was that, but probably the next big, I, next time I heard anything was Let's see what year would've been like 99, 2000 timeframe. It was right around in North Carolina. We had two hurricanes, hurricane Bertha and hurricane Fran. They were back [00:51:00] to back and they did a lot of damage. And so some of us got, you know, this was the only time I ever heard where they were like, go home, stay away from the area.Come back when it's clear. So I had come back and joking around. We had put a sign on one of my buddies trucks that just said he, he didn't know it. They had ziptied this big cardboard sign that said I'm gay. Everybody thought it was funny. He hadn't seen the sign. Ha ha ha. No big deal. All sudden our mass Sergeant comes out and flips on all of us.Get that shit off his truck. You don't know what's going on around here, blah, blah, blah. And we're all like, whoa, mess starting. Why, why are you flipping out on us? So we take it off. We'll come to find out one of the Marines who hadn't come back yet. Had just shown up. To our CO's office walked into the CO's office with a local lawyer and went, we would like him discharged outta the Marine court right now.He's gay and he's concerned [00:52:00] that if it other people within this command find out that he's gonna be physically assaulted and they had him out of the service in a day, at a day, he was gone. So those were two incidences, but I will tell you knowing Marines the way I do, I come from a pretty open household, grew up with an aunt who was gay, never thought nothing of it knew new people who were gay, growing up.Never thought anything of it. It was always just kind of like O okay, do you boo? I don't care. But when I found. Somebody didn't tell me they were gay. And it was somebody I was very close to was another Marine. And I found out after they had gotten out and they told me that I was kind of like, damn bro, why didn't you, why didn't you confront talk to me about this before you'd have been good.And it was because [00:53:00] I acted like a Marine and, and I, and I say that in quotes, that he was concerned that I would, I would see him in a different light. And that really hurt because I was just being a Marine and that rah yet, you know, loud, you know, over, over the top male kind of persona. And that was one of those things that really hurt me.Cause I was like, damn bro. I thought we were good like that. And, and they were like, yeah, man, I couldn't tell you. And I was concerned that you would feel a certain way about me and I didn't want you to know. And I was. I actually yelled at him and was like, Hey motherfucker, why didn't you tell me? And then he told me that and I was like, and that actually hurt my feelings.Cause I was like, man, did I, did I make somebody feel that way than I shouldn't have De'Vannon: it? Wasn't you? It was the environment of the military. You know, he didn't wanna lose his livelihood and he didn't tell you or anyone else, unless it was someone else who was not, who was [00:54:00] clearly queer, but you know, which you don't present that way.And so ain't nobody gonna risk their, you know, their income and everything because they wanna have a, an open conversation with somebody because you never know how those things are gonna go. So I wouldn't take it personally. He was just trying to survive. Well, Shawn: years later, I, I we've talked about it more.He's my closest friend, my best friend, but, but it really was, it was kind of one of those things where I was like, damn bro. Initially it really caught me off guard. Mm-hmm De'Vannon: so as a Marine recruiter, did they tell you to lie? Shawn: No. Nope. And that was always one of those things. Like, I, I always will tell people this, I never lied about it.That was actually the big difference between the Marine Corps from a recruiting standpoint and maybe other services. I don't know, only because we wanted to tell you how bad it sucked. We wanted to tell you how hard it was. We wanted you to know that this was gonna be the like boot camp was gonna be hard.It was gonna be [00:55:00] miserable. It was gonna suck. You're gonna sweat. You're gonna question the fact that you even met me and ever did this. We wanted you to feel like that because that was part of the sell because people wanted people wanna be like, fuck that I could do that shit. You ain't gonna scare me off.I'll make that shit happen. It was part of the sell. De'Vannon: That's some good reverse psychology right there and playing on the male ego. See when I was an air force recruiter. They would try to get me to lie to the recruits about like their career. So like if I had a recruit who wanted to be a weatherman or work in avionics, I would work to get him that job, what the higher ups in the air force would do.And in, in, as soon as I asked you that this, this question, I realized that this, the response would probably vary on who your supervisor was at exactly where you were recruiting at. So so they would do some shit in the air force, [00:56:00] like book the guy in like a security forces, this job to be a police or whatever.And then they'll be like, we're just gonna go ahead and assign him this job. We've disregarded what he wants to do. And we want you to bring him into the office and act like, you know, this is the best job ever sell him on this job, you know? That's the sort of shit that they would try to get me to do in the air force.So that what you're talking about is just a little bit of free decor. Shawn: Yeah. Like we were, so that was our move. Like I kid you not there's, this is a real thing. You would walk in front of a crowd of kids and you would look around and be like, I don't think most of you could do be in the Marine Corps. Here's a little bit about it.If you, the one or, and, and this would be a move, you'd go. The one or two of you that I see in the room and you would look, you would never actually make eye contact with anyone. You would do this be like the one or two of you that are in here that probably could do it. You can come meet me in the back of the room when this is all [00:57:00] over with.And you would get like five or six of 'em, cuz these idiots would be like, I'm, he's talking to me. I know I'm I could do it and you'd stand there. And it, you never looked at anybody, but it was just let me see if I can hype you up enough. And it was a thing. You know, I used to tell kids all the time, you're gonna hate the day you met me within the, the first couple hours that you're at Paris island.You're gonna hate the day you met me. And they'd be like, what? I'm like. Yeah, that shit sucks. De'Vannon: Okay. Bootcamp is a motherfucker. Oh hot, Shawn: hot, like you. I went to bootcamp in July, South Carolina in July. I here's how hot it was. You wanna know how hot it was? De'Vannon: I was in San Antonio in July and August for mine.And so we were clearly in the 100, 1520 degrees. It was Shawn: so hot in South Carolina in July of 94, they used to have a pool outside that [00:58:00] we did our swim calls in. It was an outside swim call. It was so hot. The pool water felt like bath water, and it wasn't heated. That's how hot it was. Think about that.Getting in a pool and being like, I'm gonna get in this pool and cool down. This shit feels like bathwater.De'Vannon: Well, I'm glad you didn't melt. Shawn: Nope. Nope. No, all this sweetness made it through. So do you feel like movies, De'Vannon: like I think like Jarhead a full metal jacket do the Marine, I think that those were like Marine specific mm-hmm if I'm not mistaken, do you feel like they do the Marines? You know, is that really how it is or there's really soap party there.Y'all beating people up at night, you know, you know, Shawn: I know what you're asking, so, so I'll put it like, yes, I think full metal jacket. There's a lot of [00:59:00] legit because of the fact that AR EY who plays the drill instructor was a Marine drill instructor. And I think a lot of it from that era is legit fast forward today.No, nobody's pulling out bars of soap and beating some eye's ass or something like that. Jarhead I think is one of the worst movies ever made bar none. By far the biggest load of bullshit I've ever watched it should be burned and never played again anywhere. It's so bad. The fact that Jamie Fox plays a staff, Sergeant that an E two private first class runs his mouth to him.Like he's a punk at one point in that movie, that's not happening. That's that's not happening. And they talk about if you watch that movie, when the main character, the, of the movie ends and he goes to his buddy's funeral, he's [01:00:00] still in E two. After four years, you will get promoted three months outta bootcamp to E two, six months after that to E three, if you haven't, if you're not again, At least picked up E three and got out.You're a turd, you're a turd of a Marine and you're getting in trouble on a regular basis. And really, I got nothing for you. So I can't stand the, can you tell, I don't like that movie. De'Vannon: a scathing review. Y'all yeah. Shawn: I, I just, I think it's a garbage and a friend of mine read the book another Marine and said the book was really good and he's like, man, don't don't judge the movie.Don't judge the book by the movie. He's like, the book is really good. He really gets into some details of things. I I'll tell you one that I really talk about eye opening things, not to, to switch sides here. There's a book called shadow of the sword that I really wish they would make into a movie. [01:01:00]It's about a Marine who is a, I can't remember if he's a bronze star with a, with a V, which is a pretty high commendation for valor, or he was a Flying across, which is one step below the medal of honor winner.But ver awarded for valor honor went to, went to become a drill instructor and suffered such PTSD that it broke him. But to I have his book, but to read his story, shadow the sword and to hear like I wasn't trying to be a hero. My body took over and just did things because my friends were there and I needed to survive that they needed to survive that.And just the way he explains it in his, the aftermath of, of dealing with things afterwards and, and going through the PTSD like this dude talks about in the book, his [01:02:00] NAB, he was at his in-law's house and the neighbor's dog wouldn't stop barking at him. So he jumped over the fence and started choking the dog to death, like bare hand, choking the dog to death.That's a P you know, people be like, oh, you're an asshole. Or you're psycho. No, that's a PTSD reaction. And if they want, if Hollywood, Hollywood, if you're listening, go get the book shadow of a shadow of the sword and go make that into a movie. Go treat that the way it should be and treat the service members the way we should be treated.We lose 22 vets a day to suicide a day. So about my shows, I interviewed a gentleman who had his own organization called 22, 22 a day. Vet lives matter. He committed suicide and he had an organization. He had people around him. He. De'Vannon: Well, since you mentioned suicide, I had put a note here and I'm so glad to see they were on the same page with, I wanted to talk about veteran suicide.[01:03:00]And I pulled up some statistics from back in 2020, and it said that the army had the highest rate of suicide in 2020, at 36.4 death per 100,000 soldiers. So basically this is 580 total service members who died in 20, 20, 30% were active duty, the Marine Corps at the second highest suicide rate, 33.9 death per 100,000 Marines Shawn: that I'm not surprised by those numbers.I mean, ho ho every day, you know, it's most of us go to work just to get the job done. You would agree with that. You know, the average civilian goes to work just to get the job done. Well. Yeah, they do, but. How about you go to work and every day get told you need to do it better than you did the day prior.You need to, you need to hold yourself at that next step level. There is no doing it easier. And if you try to take the easy way, [01:04:00] you're a skater, you're a slouch, you're a turd, you're everything under the sun. So you must perform at that next step. Do that every day and then come out and be around people who don't understand that mindset, do that every day and for four years, and then come out to a place where you're like, you're right.This fucking has how work. This is how I do things and then turn around and see everybody else not performing at that level. Tell me what that does to your mindset. De'Vannon: For me, it made me narcissistic and arrogant because, because the military told me that, you know, I'm Superman, I'm better than everyone else.This alludes to what I was saying earlier about better training people to exit the military, you know, in bootcamp and throughout military, they prime us to be on this pedestal and they, we can't, you can't function that way in society and PTSD is real. I struggle with it. It's one thing for me to [01:05:00]have a one hour conversation with you, but for me to try to immerse myself in a day to day work environment with people is impossible because I'm constantly judging them.It's the military's voice in my head judging them. It's not really the say for instance, the end of the world in the military. They're always saying if you're 15 minutes, late, 15 minutes, if you're 15 minutes early for an appointment, then you're on time. 14 minutes. You're late, early, you're late in the civilian world.It's actually not a catastrophe if you're running a few minutes late, but goddamn in the military. So, so with people, I have to stop myself. If they're like a minute or five behind from looking at them, like they're the goddamn devil , you know, to this day. And I've been out of the military for almost fucked, you know, going on 20 years, you know, to this day, I'm all like, it's okay if they're two or three minutes late the van.And I have to like talk myself down from wanting to burn them with kerosene and brimstone when they show [01:06:00] up, you know? But we, we judge people irrationally. We judge ourselves, whatever we do, isn't good enough. We beat ourselves up because the military told us whatever we did is never enough. 99.9% on a test is, is terrible.It should have been 100. You know, I have Shawn: to get that one wrong. you De'Vannon: know, how dare you get that one wrong? Well, I mean, Shawn: you, you bring that up. You, you talk about the test that was, you know, you go through your entire life in school. Hey, I got a 60, I passed it still. That's a D get into the military, 80 to 85 is passing.If you get anything below an 80 or an 85, depending upon what, what courses you're taking, you failed. So, I mean, right there, you you're, you're on a different level right away. De'Vannon: And so, you know, learning how to deal with society even all these years later is just like, it's still a thing. And so that's why I'm all for all of these psychedelics, whatever [01:07:00] can help me deal with the O C D and the PT, PT, S D I think every veteran should have a license to do whatever fucking drugs we want and just be done with it.And so. You were I just, so we're just gonna talk about one more thing and then I just have positive advice for the veterans. And so you were in during nine 11 as much as I hate how divided an
As we all settle into our post-summer routine, certain family members can sometimes get overlooked. This week, therapist Brittany Derrenbacher is back to talk about how a change in routine can affect our pets. Brittany is a certified grief and pet loss specialist, founder of the special needs animal rescue Luna Bell's Moonbows and owner of Sunshine Healing & Empowerment in Louisville, Kentucky, and she explains why our furry family members are so affected by the end-of-summer change in routine and tells us what we can do about it. In this episode, you'll learn: How pets are affected when we go back to school and back to work. How small changes in your morning routine can make a big difference. What we can do to make being alone less stressful for pets.
Recorded September 1, 2022. Anna and Ryan have a sweet, sappy conversation about what they have come to appreciate about each other now that they're separated. Send feedback and glowing praise at email@example.com. Slide into our DMs on Insta at hereforthewrongreasonspodcast. Follow us @forwrongreasons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Some toddlers head back to daycare, preschool, or Pre-K with ease and excitement, but some toddlers dread that day. With the little ones who go through separation anxiety, the first day of back to school and the days following end up up being filled with tears and tantrums, which can be hard for parents. In this episode, we discuss dealing with back to school separation and anxiety and tips for getting through those tearful days.
While some separation anxiety is normal in early childhood, it becomes serious when it doesn't go away as children get into their elementary school years and interferes with typical activities like going to school or going to a friend's house. While it can be hard for children and teachers to see children in distress, we don't want to fall into the common traps that make anxiety stronger, like allowing children to avoid the things they're afraid of and reassuring them that everything will be fine. In today's episode, I discuss these traps and what we can do instead to help these children master the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that come with separation anxiety. Children, teens, and families need people like us. But only when we are at our best. Are you a mental health professional, educator, or parent who wants to deep dive further with me? Check out these links to follow me or see other opportunities to learn more: Professional Development Training Opportunities: https://bit.ly/AnxietyMasteryTraining Professional Consultation Group: https://bit.ly/consultationgroup Parent Training: https://bit.ly/AnxietyParentTraining Follow me: Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko Facebook Groups For Parents: https://bit.ly/superparentsofanxiouskids For Professionals: https://www.facebook.com/groups/kliprofessionals
It ain't just wine country anymore!! Some of the best craft-brewed beers in the world are right here in the North Bay. And Danny Wright wants to taste them ALL on Beer Thirty! With help from the guys at the Sports Meats Beer podcast, catch new episodes on-air every Friday at 8:30am on 97.7 The River. This week Berryessa Brewing Co - Separation Anxiety IPA!
In this episode, Stacey & Ness once again continue their Mythconceptions series. Today, it's all about Dog Shaming and the things people accuse dogs of doing deliberately when they are left home alone. This podcast discusses Separation Anxiety in dogs and how to fix it. Two global specialists (certified as Separation Anxiety Pro Behavior Consultants) discuss all things related to Separation Anxiety. Join Ness Jones from Separation Anxiety In Dogs Decoded in Australia (nessjones.com) and Stacey Bell from Focused Fun in the US (www.focusedfun.net) as they delve into the dos and don'ts of training a dog to feel safe and comfortable when left home alone!
Did you know that separation anxiety affects approximately 4%-5% of children in the U.S. ages 7 to 11 years? It is less common in teenagers, affecting about 1.3% of American teens. It affects boys and girls equally. Now I know that seems like a small percentage, but when it affects your child or a child you know, these resources will come in handy. In this episode, I am going to be sharing what you can do to help your child if you suspect that they suffer from separation anxiety and also how you can help reduce the risk of your child developing separation anxiety at any given time. Find out what the warning signs are and learn about strategies that work!Resources Mentioned In this Episode:Click here to purchase your copy of Between You and Me: Parent and Child Communication Journal *Exclusively on Amazon!*EMAIL LIST*Click here to join my email list for more free content to help you on your parenting journey!or go to strongermindsstrongeryouth.com/jointhelist*REACH OUT & SHARE*Email me your stories to share with others parents just like you at firstname.lastname@example.org *CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!!* & *TAG ME IN YOUR STORIES!!!*#jessikashields or @strongermindsstrongeryouthGet Social to Stay Connected!!!Twitter: @Official_SMSYFB: @StrongerMindsStrongerYouthInstagram: @StrongerMindsStrongerYouthLinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jessikashieldsTikTok: @Official_SMSYTo access more Podcast resources, visit strongermindsstrongeryouth.comThank you for listening!
How can you help a mare who goes nuts when her paddock mate gets taken out for a ride? And tips on preparing to take your horse out on a road - a checklist for are they ready. Australian horseman Mark Langley answers common horse related questions, using techniques that explain the psychology needed to help your horse improve. His calm connected yet highly practical approach works with all horses. Learn more from Mark through his Online Horsemanship Videos – 7 day FREE trial then just $15/mth. https://www.equineability.com.au/join
Does your child have trouble separating from you? Does it take a toll on your emotions too? Are you wondering if there's actually anything you can do that will help support your child through it besides going through the same feelings of hoping it'll be different each day and then the peel off when it isn't, walking out the door leaving your child in tears? Maybe it even feels like it's getting worse... Then join me today as I talk through 4 tips to help your child navigate separation anxiety. Just a reminder, this is part of normal child development but there are strategies you can implement that actually help your child work through these feelings of fear rather than just trying to overcome the situation with distraction. Episode on Stay Listening: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-behavior-management-parent-coach/id1609008872?i=1000554474011 Playful ways to heal separation anxiety: https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/01/20-playful-ways-heal-separation-anxiety/ [20% off through August with code 20OFF] If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of what to do, then head here for all the details. https://view.flodesk.com/emhttps://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.comails/62c479aee3f481bcc48af99d Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ Free Special Time e-guide: the #1 Strategy for Transforming Behavior: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8 Chaos to Calm Course waitlist: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8 I would love to connect with you and hear more about your journey! If you'd like to submit a question to get answered on an episode of the podcast, leave it here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/10VctOlDhunyQUXEEaDz5m0emFufCVpCvFj9yNzEFicU/edit XO- Kaili
In preschool, learning is far less about the ABC's and 1,2,3's and far more about developing an awareness of yourself and the world around you. Knowing how to best support your child and help them feel more comfortable transitioning to a school environment can be instrumental in setting them up for success. Joining me this week to help parents learn how to guide their children through this transition is the co-director of the Downtown Little School, Meredith Gary. From strategies for dealing with separation anxiety, to helpful tips to get your child out the door in the morning, to ways to foster your child's connection to their teacher, this episode will help you feel prepared for the start of preschool! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Maura Davies of the SPCA of Texas joins us on Furry, Furbulous Friday with some tips for helping our pets with separation anxiety now that schools are back in session. Discipline, a new dog or training won't work for anxiety. You can work with them to let them know that you will be coming back. Listen to the show for all the ways to help your pet adjust to being home alone. Next, Nicole Winhoffer joins us to talk about how she's incorporated her spiritual practice in her fitness routine. It's called NWMethod (TM) and it has only been available to her A-List celebrity clients until now. Visit nicolewinhoffer.com to find out more. And, follow her on IG @nicolewinhoffer.Thank you to our sponsors!enviromedica – The BEST probiotics on the planetIs your drinking water safe? Check by zip code at berkeyfilters.com Children's Health Defense - Order Robert F. Kennedy's latest book, "The Real Anthony Fauci" today!sunwarrior - Use the code OLR for 20% off your purchase!Vegworld MagazineWell Being JournalThorne - Get 20% off your order and free shipping!
Separation anxiety is a very normal developmental phase that babies and toddlers experience throughout the first few years of their life. One minute, your little one is happily playing around by themselves and settling nicely in their room during bedtime. The next minute, they're fussy, clingy, and freak out the second you leave the room!In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen, Licensed Family Therapist and Registered Play Therapist to talk all about separation anxiety.More specifically, we talk about: What exactly IS separation anxiety and what does it look like?Why do our little ones experience separation anxiety?How can we best support our little ones when going through a bout of separation anxiety?What to do when separation anxiety leads to bedtime battles and refusing to fall asleep by themselves.How to handle daycare/school drop off when separation anxiety is at an all-time high.Have a listen!Follow Dr. Kim on Instagram @theparentologist https://www.instagram.com/theparentologist/Dr. Kim's website, blog and podcast- http://theparentologist.com/Want to get your little one consistently sleeping 11-12 hours at night so you can be a functioning human? Join my FREE training HERE: https://mysleepingbaby.ac-page.com/registration-page-v-2
Recorded August 15, 2022: Anna and Ryan further dissect their separation by discussing the things they think they did right, the things they probably did wrong, and the things that have surprised them about the separation so far. Legally and morally, they also need to remind you that they are not trained therapists or even particularly competent human beings, so please take their advice with several grains of salt. Send feedback and glowing praise at email@example.com. Slide into our DMs on Insta at hereforthewrongreasonspodcast. Follow us @forwrongreasons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It's not uncommon for kids to cry about not wanting to go to school. Transitioning from home to school is tough because it requires significant shifts in focus and feeling. However, when a child's crying continues for weeks/months, and leaving home is a continual source of stress, there's more to be explored. This episode is the story of a Mom who discovered she was a trigger for her child's school tears and the counselor who helped their family find release and resolve their struggle.
Christy is a writer, lawyer, and mother to three little dino-lovers. She knows a little bit about dinosaurs and a lot about separation anxiety. Being a working parent (or a little one with big feelings) is not easy, but Christy hopes that Asher the Dino: Mommy Goes to Work can help other grown-ups and their littles during these tough transitions.Connect with Christy on Instagram @AshertheDinoBookshttp://www.AshertheDino.comSupport the show
If your child is dreading the start of school, sometimes it's more than just first-day-of-class nerves. Dr. Saltz has practical advice parents can use to get kids into a positive mood before the school bells ring. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this episode of ER VET, Dr. Justine Lee, DACVECC, DABT, board-certified emergency critical care veterinary specialist and toxicologist talks about all things dog and cat when it comes to separation anxiety and behavioral problems. She interviews Dr. Lisa Radosta, DACVB, board-certified veterinary behaviorist, and member of VetScoop, a group of leading veterinarians who provide a real-talk resource for pet advice you can trust. SHOW NOTES: How Do I Know If My Pet Has Separation Anxiety?
To be prepared is half the victory.-Miguel de CervantesThe purpose of this podcast is to empower you to take the reins on your own separation anxiety training journey. Resolving separation anxiety is a lofty goal–one that is complex and messy even under the guidance of a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer. With that in mind, I want to be sure you are prepared as you DIY this endeavor. When obstacles inevitably confront you along your journey, I want you to remember that they are 1) normal and 2) surmountable. When you feel derailed, I want you to think “I remember Jackie saying this would happen,” instead of “I am a failure and this will never work.” A little preparation and familiarization with the footings on which the whole process rests will give you that sense of groundedness. So in this episode, I am laying out the 10 pillars that serve as your foundation for separation anxiety training. Any time you feel stuck (and you will feel stuck), I want you to circle back to this episode and assess how solid your foundation truly is. The 10 pillars I'll address are: Viewing your dog as a study of oneProviding enrichment and meeting your dog's needsManaging your dog's distress with absence suspensionBecoming fluent in body languageReducing your dog's overall stressGetting your dog checked out by your veterinarianBeing open to the use of behavior medicationExecuting a gradual exposure training planSetting realistic expectationsTaking care of yourselfResources mentioned in this episode:Study of One: A DisclaimerThe Secret Sauce to Separation Anxiety Success: Suspending AbsencesCanine Enrichment for the Real World by Allie Bender & Emily Strong Enrichment for the Real World PodcastDoggie Language by Lili ChinBravo Dog's Body Language Online CourseFallout from the Use of AversivesMedication Education ResourcesHow Long Does It Take to Resolve Separation Anxiety?
This episode originally aired October 19, 2021. Laura Zigman is one of our leading voices in contemporary fiction. She's the author of five novels, including her genre-defining debut, Animal Husbandry, which enjoyed a second life on the screen as the Hugh Jackman/Ashley Judd starrer “Someone Like You,” as well as her most recent novel, Separation Anxiety, which is currently being developed as a limited television series featuring the actress Julianne Nicholson. Laura's novels are known for their wit and insight, as she shines compelling light on women and families on the edge, but many of her most faithful readers are probably unaware of her work as a collaborator—most notably with the comedian Eddie Izzard, Texas state senator Wendy Davis, and matchmaker Patti Novak. Over the years, she's leaned on her ghostwriting assignments as a way to fill the spaces between novels—and, to sharpen her instincts as a writer as she seeks ideas and inspiration for her fiction. In this episode of As Told To, she tells host Daniel Paisner that she sees herself as storyteller, whether she's helping to craft someone else's story or working in service of her own. “It's a very delicate dance,” she says of the tug-and-pull that often surfaces between collaborator and subject. “You have to learn how to handle people. You have to give it back to them sometimes. You have to find that balance between being in service to them and their story and pushing back a little.” Here's where you can find Laura online: Facebook Twitter Instagram Website Please support the sponsors who support our show. Daniel Paisner's upcoming novel Balloon Dog Misfits Market (WRITERSBONE) | $15 off your first order Film Movement Plus (PODCAST) | 30% discount Libro.fm (ASTOLDTO) | 2 audiobooks for the price of 1 when you start your membership Wizard Pins (WRITERSBONE) | 20% discount Tennants Cove Writers
Join me for a Behind the Scenes, sneak peek into what a Behavior Blueprint coaching session looks like. This episode is focused on strategies to work through separation anxiety that has resulted in intense, almost constant aggressive and impulsive behaviors. We cover listening partnerships and more in depth about special time and how to incorporate it into a routine that doesn't feel overwhelming, while also providing the child with the connection that is needed to improve behaviors. We also discuss what happens when you've gone through occupational therapy and participated in reflex integration as well as creating a sensory diet and the regulation still isn't where it should be. If you've experienced any of this, you won't want to miss this episode! Behavior Blueprint Live Coaching session 1 (aggression and stay listening): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-behavior-management-parent-coach/id1609008872?i=1000571211679 If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of what to do, then head here for all the details. https://view.flodesk.com/emhttps://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.comails/62c479aee3f481bcc48af99d Free Special Time e-guide: the #1 Strategy for Transforming Behavior: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8 Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ Chaos to Calm Course waitlist: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8 I would love to connect with you and hear more about your journey! If you'd like to submit a question to get answered on an episode of the podcast, leave it here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/10VctOlDhunyQUXEEaDz5m0emFufCVpCvFj9yNzEFicU/edit XO- Kaili
Recorded July 29, 2022: Anna and Ryan give you an update on their family trip as a separated couple, which was no more stressful than most family trips they took as a married couple. Send feedback and glowing praise at firstname.lastname@example.org. Slide into our DMs on Insta at hereforthewrongreasonspodcast. Follow us @forwrongreasons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
As we head toward a new school year, we need to think about the connection between how we've handled separation anxiety and the ethics that guide our work. Join Cindy and Alison for a discussion about separation anxiety, professional ethics, and what to do when families want to stay in the classroom.
Recorded May 25, 2022. Anna and Ryan provide an update on their situation: where they live, where they laugh, where they love. Then they develop several sitcom ideas instead of really figuring out what went wrong in their own lives. You can also read these sources that Anna and Ryan didn't read but should have: Don't Be a Disney Dad https://fathers.com/featured-resource-center-page/dont-be-a-disney-dad-guest-blog/ How to Make Kids Feel at Home in Both Homes After a Divorce https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/01/realestate/divorce-kids-homes.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Recorded April 7, 2022. Anna and Ryan armchair quarterback why their marriage did not last, despite knowing nothing about quarterbacks. They also recommend resources written by people way more knowledgeable than them: But You Seemed So Happy: A Marriage in Bits and Pieces. By Kimberly Harrington. https://www.amazon.com/But-You-Seemed-So-Happy/dp/0062993313 Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey. By Florence Williams. https://www.amazon.com/Heartbreak-Personal-Scientific-Florence-Williams/dp/1324003480 "How I Demolished My Life." By Honor Jones. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/12/divorce-parenting/621054/ Conscious Uncoupling. https://www.consciousuncoupling.com/ And a goddamn GOOP article about conscious uncoupling, for fuck's sake: https://goop.com/wellness/relationships/conscious-uncoupling-2/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices