Give Me Murder Or Give Me Death

Well, this is the death rattle of GMMOGMD.  The first of the three episodes posted today (Tuesday, September 21st, 2021) was a false flag.  It can be equated to a patient flatlining, the second one I guess would be the defibrillator that briefly allowed the show to regain consciousness, but now the fucker truly dies.  Thank you all so much for listening and supporting us over the years.  We will (not[because when you die you enter permanent nothingness{most likely}]) see you on the other side.

Ok so I goofed again, as is the wont of this 'cast.  Turns out I actually had 3 unreleased episodes, this is 2/3.  So the one that said it is for real the last episode ever is, in fact, not the last episode ever.  Sorry for being a piece of shit, love you guys.

I swear I didn't hang on to this on purpose to leave you hanging.  It's just...I was releasing the bonus episodes on the main feed piecemeal after moving to LA, then the pandemic happened, then I moved back to Pittsburgh.  And I forgot!  Sorry!  No idea what this one's about but I hope you enjoy!  Miss you guys, hope to start another podcast in the next few months.  shipweeksforeverhashtag

Like all of these, I have no idea what this episode is about, just uploading them in sequential order.  My birthday was 4 days ago, I'm old enough to run for president now.  These are wild, historic times.  It's a lot to risk because of COVID but I participated in BLM marches in Hollywood and Pittsburgh, gonna try to avoid people now in case I was exposed.  I doubt anyone who has listened/listens to this podcast would disagree, and it should go without saying but, Black Lives Matter.  If you're still here and listening, thank you, we hope you're doing okay.

No matter what happens, sweet oblivion will alway be there for you.

What will you tell your grandchildren about this pandemic?  Haha j/k j/k, the world will be no place for grandkids in a few decades' time.

Seriously, if you are listening to/reading this I sincerely hope you're not one of the people that's gobbling up a bunch of things you don't truly need right now.  Just buy one fucking package of toilet paper, none of us actually shit all that much.

I hope you're all doing okay, here's a little bit of entertainment that hopefully allays a modicum of your cabin fever.

I feel deep down, in my heart of hearts, that this was a good episode.  But alas, I remember not the contents that lay within.  Slowly we ebb and flow towards the great Ship Weeks in the sky.

This is the 7th bonus episode.

I haven't forgotten about you (okay I totally did obviously), I will put 10 more episodes up after this I fucking swear to god (wink, wink [but seriously I will]).  Pardon me daddy's a little drunk (I do sometimes refer to myself as daddy but in a very, very, very saracastic way [I am not your typical self-daddy-caller okay?]).  Hope this episode's okay and everything in your life is going as well as can be hoped for!

Hope your January is going swimmingly.

The episode has nothing to do with Kazakhstan, I just looked up what holidays are today and that was at the top!  I do not remember what this episode was about but I hope you enjoy it.  Sorry I've been putting these up inconsistently, I will eventually get them all up though.

Truly have no idea what this one's about, hope your Thanksgiving is nice.

I do not remember at all what this episode was about, I hope its contents are amenable to your proclivities.

Hey, fuck it, I'm gonna put all the bonus episodes on the regular feed.  15 more to come!  I'll try to do it about once a week, I may forget but I'll put them all up.  All I ask is that if you can, please give us a buck a month on patreon to keep up with hosting fees.  Also tell anyone you know who listened that there are more episodes they haven't heard!  And please listen to my standup album Dolphins Are Garbage and force every single friend you have to as well!   Above all, please enjoy listening to these previously patreon-only episodes, doesn't matter if you do any of the shit I asked you about above.

This is the end guys.  It's been great to be a part of this with all of you, truly, thank you.

Bigfoot is not real.

Our first hitman, and old tyme Irish mobster.

Animals, having sex with dead animals.

Looks like Lena might be getting a Trump tattoo.

Nothing about this conspiracy is remotely true, enjoy.

"Oh boy look at that big ol' ice cuber up 'ere," stated the excited sailor.  Tune into this episode to find out of that's how it went down!  

Ghost ship as in abandoned, not haunted, cause ghosts aren't real.  Though this is a very unique and fascinating mystery about a ship being completely abandoned by its passengers and crew without explanation.

The 1797 mutiny of the HMS Hermione, the bloodiest mutiny in the history of the royal navy.

SHIP WEEKS HASHTAG, you know what you're getting, it's a ship +death.

The title says it all, plus:  Waves, Tides, & Space.

Ship Weeks Hashtag.  We got a fiery spin (lol get it? j/k please kill us [ok just kill Alex]) on Ship Weeks this week!  So many shipwrecks lost to the sands of time, we resurrect one story from New Jersey in 1930 this week.

This is a very fast and loose take on some myths and conspiracies associated with the Hindenburg disaster.  The Hindenburg is an AIRship.  Ship Weeks #4, what a beautiful thing.

Lotta sharks and a lotta death, it's Ship Weeks Week Three The Third Week.

The story of the Edmund Fitzgerald sinking into the non-briny depths of Lake Superior, killing its entire crew

The 2012 sinking of the Italian cruise ship that killed 32 people/the groundbreaking start to our first annual Ship Weeks.

The horrifying story of a co-pilot committing a suicide/mass murder.

Some witch stories, as told by Lena.  Good times, great oldies.

Pump it up, pump it down, pump it all around.  Sex/death.

This episode is about people dying suddenly during consensual sex, it's so fun and beautiful, we hope you love it.

Here is another episode we did.

The mysterious disappearance of the McStay family in California in 2010.  We just recorded this right before I'm writing this and I honestly don't remember a damn thing we talked about so I just hope you enjoy it.

Sorry for talking so much shit Iceland, but like, not really.

Family annihilator John List + Lena learns about the classic mens' game of Soggy Biscuit.

More necrophilia, more rambling, thank you for listening we love you.  Pump away.

Necrophilia + lots of banter = one hour closer to the great beyond.  Enjoy.

Sorry guys, it's the new year and we are experiencing a cold, gray, wintery desolation that hangs over every fiber of our very being.  So we rambled A LOT on this one, but join us as we make it through the first 5 (out of 10) classifications of necrophilia and still self-consciously wonder about this podcast.  We were in a mood, hope you like it.

We hope you're having a lovely holiday and the weight of existence isn't bearing down on you.  It's explained in the episode but Alex messed up and this was supposed to be bonus episode 3 for the Patreon but now you all get to hear it!  This is what our bonus episodes are like:  fast and loose.  There's a Christmas murder story as well as a whole load of other shit, we swear by episode 100 we're totally gonna have it together.

This is the story (that we occasionally get to amidst our incessant rambling [we truly can't apologize enough for our existence]), of John Brennan Crutchley.  He was a man who most likely did many horrible things to many horrible people, as well as having access to top national defense secrets!  Please enjoy this festive time of year however you see fit.

From 18th century England comes the story of a horrific child abuse murder.  As I forgot to do this at the beginning of the episode please take this as a trigger warning because violence against children is described.  Please also note that we get super off topic in this episode but, like, we always do.  And like, is this podcast even good?  Truly we don't know.  Dear god we hope you keep listening.

It's the Menendez brothers!  Please enjoy our light analysis of the background leading up the crime as well as our usual nonsense.  Wow, THIS is a good episode, but obviously that's totally up to you to decide and we really shouldn't be making that call.  Apologies.

The story of Alice Kyteler, a woman who was accused of witchcraft in 14th century Ireland.  Hope your Thanksgiving is wonderful and you enjoy this episode, we love you.

Yeah I'm a bit drunk uploading this and this episode is kinda sad but we genuinely hope you enjoy it and please please please pledge to our patreon.

Bizarro deaths, bizarro Lena & Alex recording on a Sunday, what does it all mean?  No one knows, let alone us.  Does anyone actually read these descriptions?  Shoot us an email.