Riffing On Realness

Listen for These Key Points:cultivating your own internal compassexploring what to do when we feel our compass needs recalibratingthe value of staying in the present moment vs living in past or futurehow we must balance internal and external feedbackwhy perspective is a valuable calibration toolwhere there is a healthy place for black and white thinkingthe importance of having access to your own wisdomremembering that the only person's job it is to save us is our ownCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

How less oversight impacts creativity….and distractionLearning how our messages can be translated to a broader audienceCreating connection in an online worldThe negatives and positives of the new work worldThe distractions of working from homeHow to have boundaries when working from homeThings that can tank our productivityThe important keys to successful work from home experiencesEnsuring that we don't make transitionary situations our natural stateThe role of resilience and flexibilityHow our values have shiftedTools to help us get the most out of our dayCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Right and left-brained thinking and how it impacts our interest and focusThe value of being grounded in the worldHow assessments and tools can help us better understand ourselves (and which ones we like)The paradigms of structure and discipline and the flexibility required within themWhy discipline can be nuanced and does not have to be as black and white as we all might thinkThe gifts of embracing how you are naturally wired and using your strengthsHow the seasons and the cycles of nature can impact usHow a temporary shift in environment can be keyCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these powerful truth bombs:When we can go overboard and take TOO much responsibility for our role in a situationHow it's appropriate to place anger at the feet of people who do harmEverything is not black and white right and wrong….and the skill required to tease out the greyWhy anger is a positive emotion and useful in giving us the energy needed to make necessary and important changesEvaluating our own paradigms, thought processes and lenses through which we look, and change filters where neededThe dark side of personal responsibilityHow being quick to take responsibility is sometimes a form of control so we don't have to feel our feelingsHow taking the high road is sometimes a smokescreen for a wrong turnHow to know if you are carrying more responsibility than is truly yoursUnderstanding the feelings of others…knowing we don't always have to understand them….but we do have to believe themThe importance of enacting strong powerful boundaries even with people we loveHow we can love and still be sad and angry with someoneHolding ourselves with a ton of compassion when we don't get it rightCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these insights:The win win, the win lose, and the lose loseWhy integrity is not just about telling the truth or being honestWhat do we do when challengedWhat is required to keep ourselves whole and in integrityWhat happens when do fail to honor agreementsCollateral damage and considering the one vs the manyThe necessity to widen our perspective and reflect on each situation individually without black and white rigidityWhy many people don't do the deep reflection on thisWhat allows us to create and maintain wholenessWhat if it wasn't about creating win win…but rather creating connection and wholenessHow truth can be changing…and how threatening that thought can beHow integrity, at its roots,  is an exploration of selfHow integrity is compounded learning….with layers of new learning giving us greater perspectiveCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these insights:How when we feel the need to banish we can pattern interrupt and open instead of contract and defendWhen a small ‘prayer' can helpWhy we need to stop contracting and defendingThe necessity of self-trustWhy expansion allows us to also extend our vision and perspectiveVulnerability and its roleHow control and vulnerability cannot exist at the same timeThe of asking the deeper questions and getting curious about our own thoughts feelings and triggersWhat is required to healWhat happens if we don't healHistory and its repetitions…how we tend to save things for laterHow can we meet the beast in the eye and not turn awayWhat allows us to switch from banishing to exploringCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe 

Listen for these discoveries and insights:Why it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick societyHow we are tricked into thinking we always have to know the answer, the way to go and what to doThe gift in not just getting comfortable with the not knowing…. but EMBRACING the not knowingThe gold of sitting in the not knowingHow to trust that the next step is revealed.The lessons the caterpillar has for usHow to relax into the process and not rush through itThe importance of allowing yourself to BE in the in-betweenWhat a ‘lack of clarity' has to teach usWhy it's OK to not always ‘know' the answersThe perils of instant gratificationLonging….why we try to avoid it, but shouldn'tFinding the treasure in the darknessThe sweet spot of resistance The role of GRIT over talent and intelligencePlease note in this episode we discovered, after the fact, that our audio was less than ideal. It was such a powerful conversation we hated to not share it.  Please forgive us for poor audio quality or audio disturbances…you just can't recreate such things. Consider it proof we are keeping it real, always, and in all ways.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for expansion on these thoughts:The gifts of the dark night of the soulHow watching others struggle is  sometimes more difficult than our own struggleHow do we know when WE are ready?How do we know when OTHERS are ready?Why the struggle is necessary for the growth and strength for the next stepsListen for a lovely and poignant open from RumiAcknowledging when suffering is present andEmotions are like storm clouds.Why both the shadow and the light are requiredThe spectrum is different for everyoneWhy exploring the range is important to finding out what we're capable ofWhy getting stuck gets a bad rap…but it's vital to growth and maturity and is an ‘initiation' of sortsHow curiosity is the key to movingCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these ah-has and thought nuggets:Becoming physically aware of our bodies inability to grind in perpetuityThe awareness required to listenThe external search for worthiness and acceptanceKnowing your innate wiring and driveKnowing our limitsKnowing our triggersHow to tune inAsking for help and our bullshit stories about being a burdenFinding the balance between when to push and when to restIt takes a villageHow we have become disconnected from ourselves and thusly one anotherThe importance of remembering who we areShowing up in imperfectionThe value of presenceCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Epiphanies include:The illusions of safetyWhere these illusions come fromThe meaning of life and other questionsHow we create meaningThe stories we createMoving from despair to inspired and empoweredThe gifts of collapse and how it's necessaryThe illusions of limit and confinementThe value of bearing witness to the struggle of othersHow growth often starts in the dark places and from decayWays to come alongside and support one another betterThe lessons in our discomfort with other peoples painCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

This week's highlights and wisdom snacks include:Exploring the definitions and trigger around disciplineHarnessing the power of how we are naturally wired to take actionWhy it's important to find your own balanceThe importance of staying out of resistance and burnoutThe difference between being internally vs externally drivenThe kinds of discipline and how they can be connected to our value of freedomMasculine vs feminine Energy..when each serves us over the otherKnowing your individual core energy and operating from itWhy it's important to experimentUnderstanding we are always a creative work in progressApplying curiosity vs judgmentHow to stop treating it like a jobCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these thought bombs:The importance of bustling systems around the things we choose to changeWhy willpower alone is not enough.The power of aggregating and compounding effortsHow do we show up in a systematically better way each dayLooking at big goals and breaking them down so we can create sustainable effort vs burnoutWhy being imperfect but consistent is always better than perfection onceThe things that undermine our successHow to cultivate greater self trust to stay consistentCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these pearls of wisdom:The perils of perfectionismRecognizing where we are on the timeline.Knowing the filters through which we are viewing the world at any given time and the influence those filters have on what we experienceHow resistance can cause painThe role trusting yourself plays in the stories we tell and the meaning we assignThe difference between pain and sufferingHow we can not make pain ‘a big deal'What causes us to collapseHow a lack of trust is often at the heart of our strugglesGoing through the breakdown to be able to breatheWhat happens when we get fixated on the destination vs the journeyCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know. 

Keep your ears open for these wisdom snacks:The stats on resolutionsThe place we should engineer our resolutions  fromWhere the heart of our goals comes from Our bigger ‘why' and how we get to that.Why we have to ‘dig deep' to sustain our effortsThe importance of being pulled forward vs pushing and drivingPerspectives about ‘will power' that help us view it differentlyWhy we must have a sane perspective about our resolutionsSetting ourselves up for successThe power of incremental vs sweeping changeStretching without snappingThe role of supportive accountabilityCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these elements:The damage that comes from living in fearReasons why we withhold and hide Times when it's good to share and times when it's notHow withholding our pain and struggle from one another keeps us separateOur tendency to censor ourselves and why we do itThe stories we tell that keep us in hidingThe role judgment plays in hidingWhy we must be fully enrolled in our own truth to push past hidingThe fears we have that cause it allThe perils of secrecyCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Wisdom nuggets to keep your ears open for:Why it's easier to people pleaseThe difference between ‘niceness' and ‘kindness'How it can feel like it's easier to be pleasing vs living as our most authentic selfWhy it's often a case of ‘alignment'…or rather ‘misalignment'The importance of having a lot of compassion for selfWhat we are afraid of that leads us to the people-pleasing in the first placeHow biology wires for pleasingThe things in our current day world that make us more susceptible to pleasingHow social media plays a roleWhat we need to be aware of to avoid unhealthy amounts of pleasingWhat skills help us overcome itThe learning we need in order to move past pleasing and into healthier interactionsWho we have to be in order to not people pleaseThe startling truth that others don't really like it when we people pleaseLearning not to ‘over'-explain. How to make it clean and clearUnderstanding It's not about being nice….(hint: we tell you what it IS about)What it means to be an authentic human being…(spoiler alert: it's not pleasing)The superpower we already possess that is kryptonite to pleasingCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for theses truth bombs:-The one universal constant of decision making-Why it's easy to make commitments but hard to follow them through-Even making a bad decision is a gift..and taking the car out of park-How there are always other decisions around the corner-The best kind of light that comes from a burning bridge-Decisions that are not final..and how we can change course-Failure as the path to success-Understanding that there IS time to sit back and wait-Why pushing never works-What happens if we don't push through resistance points-An important question to ask ourselves in the face of challenges-The benefits of trading up for better quality problems-How to know the difference between commitments we need to see through and those we need to let go of and no longer serve us.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Featured points to listen for and ponder:Why it is important to reflect on the year that was and plan for what is to comeThe fear associated with making changes in how we ‘have always done it'…and doing it anywayWhy it is paramount to find ways to take good care of yourselfThe tension point between making changes and living the changesThe toxicity of always trying to be ‘producing' in your businessThe value of slowing our roll and creating balance and rest points.How leadership plays a roleThe practice of exploring our edges and learning from them and growing through them and passing it onWhy experimenting is OK…practice makes better.  It's not about perfectionThe myth of quarters….time and the stories we have created and why they aren't realWhy being aligned and in coherence with the Universe to BE-come our best selves starts with BE…then we can DO and HaveWays to be in your truthLooking at our stories and our perception of reality being skewed when we are the only one to dialogue with our own mindThe value of looking at our internal landscapeTools for us to explore that internal landscape and BE-come the greatest version of ourselvesWhat we can let go of to avoid the grind and stay in the joy while creating change

Sparkley highlights include:-Non-traditional ways to explore the holiday season-Giving ourselves permission to do it ‘our way' and create new traditions that honor ourselves first.-How the 'expectations' can turn it all into a job-The irony of how thoughtfulness  and gifts can get lost in the holiday shuffle-‘Net Gain', ‘Net Neutral/Zero', and ‘Net Loss' as a tool for evaluating what to say yes to and commit to during holidays-The value of recognizing creating an experience for others doesn't have to feel lie it costs you-How sometimes making grand sweeping change to our traditions is easier than incremental change-Being mindful about getting caught in the stories of how its 'supposed' to be-Being empowered to create change by choosing a different narrative in advance of the holiday stress-How the words ‘always' and ‘never' can be so dangerous-Why it is important to learn from our past holiday experiences, but not get trapped into the dogma that we must repeat them-How ‘tradition' is peer pressure from dead people-Seeing versions of ourselves through other people and looking with curiosity without judgment-The importance of understanding the ‘essence'  and ‘operating systems' of those we love-Honoring thyself first and getting the support you need to make this your best holiday season to date

Listen for these truth bombs and wisdom nuggets:-Sometimes it's simply about recalibration of our purpose and our souls work-Why sometimes everything needs to fall away and feel like its breaking down in order to breakthrough-When doing less better is actually ..more-How the beauty of ‘blankness' can bring about higher vibrational frequency and be more aligned-Seeing the breakdown and beauty vs burden-The stories we tell based on the external world-Why we must slow down to speed up-It isn't alway about letting a goal go, but rather re-defining it-Why being brave does not mean without having fear-Being ‘The Archer' in your own life and how the ‘tension' serves us-The point at which we want to turn back is when we are the closest to lift off-Why we must attach our well being to our bottom line-How we can have a successful business AND take great care of ourselves-Going deep on the internal landscape lets us go deep in our business.-Don't miss the valuable ‘Questions worth asking ourselves' near the end to explore with curiosity your own edges-Obstacles as opportunities for growth-The danger in too much tension and not knowing how to let go

Highlights from this hot episode include:-Why we must experience hard emotions and give them the due-Bad thoughts do not always act like a magnet to bring more stuff-Where the positive thinking paradigm got its roots-Where is the middle between letting the tough thoughts rule and bypassing and ignoring them-Collapsing and taking up residence into dark and difficult emotions-Repressing hard emotions-When to give yourself permission to allow the difficult emotion to be your experience-Why ‘accurate' thoughts are a balanced alternative to what gets labeled as ‘negative' or ‘positive'-The value of being present in the moments of now and how they give us balance and perspective and fuel ‘accurate' thoughts-Why being more present allows us to be available to what needs to be-How fear prevents us from feeling the feels-Why being present with the pain of others forces us to tap into our own pain and how hard that can be-We have 100% survival rate!-How we know when we are having accurate thinking-Superficiality doesn't keep us safe…we are meant to experience the full range of emotions-All emotions have equal importance-The understanding that life is terrible and life is beautiful-We can learn how to ride the waves in a way that we aren't afraid of failures or the dark times-How we are all built for this terrible beautiful life-Being able to have acceptance for terrible things and not having to love themCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Highlights from this episode include:-The perils of impenetrable boundaries-The overwhelm that comes with no boundaries-Being the ‘Yes' person-Keeping a wide-open heart with a big fence-The value of gatekeepers-Our resources and how to best allocate them-Why context can be important in boundaries-How to get compliance and respect for your boundaries-How co-creating and stating agreements we can create success in boundaries-Why we have to have clarity on where we are or are not be served by boundaries-Strategies to identify where we need more or less-When self-awareness is key-How modeling boundaries gives others permission to do the sameCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Highlights from this episode include:-The difference between agreements and expectations-How one makes us feel over the other-Taking the ‘personal' out of it-Clean objective ‘hygiene'-Avoiding setting people up for disappointment-How this partners with compromise vs collaboration-Why co-creation is in order-How to know when an expectation is being placed on you-How we are wired for fear-Flipping the fear-Defining the fear…and ‘fear setting' vs goal setting-Tim Ferriss ‘Defining Your Fears' Ted Talk (recommended listening)-Bypassing the emotions instead of acknowledging  them and how it steals our freedom-The value of sharing our disappointments-Giving voice to inner conversations-Open dialogue leading to deeper connections-How the culture can split our hearts from our mind-The perils of compromising our truth for the good opinions of othersCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Highlights in the episode:-Why arguing the opposing point of view is so valuable-Seeking to understand before being understood-The value of perspectives outside our own-Measuring and managing the emotional response-Being aware of our own triggers-How high self-awareness can be a weakness and a strength-How ignoring our true feeling leads to anger-What happens when we avoid difficult conversations-Why staying in the present moment helps keep things grounded and productive-Prepare for the conventions….but don't over-prepare-Don't re-live the conversation.  Live it once.-How growth happens ‘outside' the moment-The difference between ‘re-living' a conversation and ‘reflecting' on it-Watching out for the judgments and shame spiraling-The difference between trying to prepare for and influence-Exploring our fear of being misunderstood-Understanding that we all live in separate realities-Agreements vs ExpectationsCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Highlights in the episode:-Why arguing the opposing point of view is so valuable-Seeking to understand before being understood-The value of perspectives outside our own-Measuring and managing the emotional response-Being aware of our own triggers-How high self-awareness can be a weakness and a strength-How ignoring our true feeling leads to anger-What happens when we avoid difficult conversations-Why staying in the present moment helps keep things grounded and productive-Prepare for the conventions….but don't over-prepare-Don't re-live the conversation.  Live it once.-How growth happens ‘outside' the moment-The difference between ‘re-living' a conversation and ‘reflecting' on it-Watching out for the judgments and shame spiraling-The difference between trying to prepare for and influence-Exploring our fear of being misunderstood-Understanding that we all live in separate realities-Agreements vs ExpectationsCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their souls purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Highlights from this episode include:-Negative emotions being banned by our culture as something that needs to be bypassed-The wisdom of our emotions and what they have to offer us-What emotions really are-The damage that occurs when we stuff emotions-The difference between parking emotions and stuffing emotions-How despair and hopelessness are not dangerous places-Why the story we have around our emotions is more important than the emotions themselves-What your emotions really want from you-Why the ‘wounded healer' makes the best healer-Our hyper-individualistic culture and how it's killing us-What we can communally do as a society to create safe space for the expression of ALL emotions-BIG emotions and how they unnerve us whether they are our own or those of others-Why nothing more than bearing witness is the greatest gift we can offer during difficult emotions of othersCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

In this episode you will find:-The roles that faith, allowing and trusting play in overcoming perfectionism and control-How the expectations of the outer world influence our need for control-The illusion of control-Where within ourselves the answers really are-What it takes in order to let go-What causes us to need control-Why you can't ‘think' your way through every problem-Why what you feel is more important than what you think-Understanding that we are not our thoughts-Why the more we look to our brain the  more overwhelmed and stressed we become and the more we feel compelled to control-What happens when we trust the unfolding-The role that intuition plays in it all and how everyone has access to it-Why we can be the example or the warning and how the warnings are not a bad thingCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their souls purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Listen for these gems of wisdom and guidance:-The pain of comparison-The role social media plays-Living as a human doing vs human being-The richness of your interior landscape and why interior work is paramount-How we find ourselves looking for external validation of our worth-Giving yourself permission to explore the messiness of emotions-The roles gender plays in comparison-The toxic culture's role in our ability to ‘do the work'-What we need in order to do the work-What it takes to be vulnerable with our messy human-ness-The illusion of perfection and what it is doing to people-What happens when we simply bear witness, without judgment, to the struggles of others….and our own-Why ‘being a fraud' is actually authenticity.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their soul's purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know. 

Listen for these gold nuggets:-The gifts of chaos-Why interruptions are the way of life and change is the only universal constant-How we can ‘begin again' when we lose track of our equilibrium-Why adapting is important and how to re-establish our own normal-Internal vs eternal vehicles and how they impact our ability to maintain normal-The difference between intention and attention and why they are both important and necessary-Evolving normals-Waking up to what you no longer want to tolerate….'The Great Resignation'-‘Micro normals' vs  ‘macro normals' and why they are so important-How our system is always seeking equilibrium and simply needs a little TLC from us-Shame spiraling and beating ourselves up for taking downtime and a reframe to stop the story-Knowing when you are intentionally decompressing vs escaping with Netflix-Stepping out of judgment of self and others-Why as we look to find our normal….we must be mindful of ‘helping' others-Being purposeful in cultivating the life we most want to live-Why being ‘wobbly' is actually an indication that positive change is occurringCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their souls purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Tune in to hear more about:-We will ALL have imbalance in our lives-We often learn through imbalance or contrast-Balance is not what we think it is…listen for how we re-define it-How priorities are the crux of balance-Why failures are our greatest gifts and teachers-Balance today can look very different today from Balance tomorrow-Understanding what -‘Doing your best' REALLY means-Why time off is actually the key to doing more and having more-Recognizing the ever-changing landscape of life and cultivating flexibility-Exploring how slowing down leads to speeding up-Guts and Glory in a fast paced world…how naps are the key-Where the wisdom exists…in the pause-Looking at your expectations and the permission to change them-How to master your productivity-Hello culture shift-Finding YOUR 'normal'… and ultimately finding your fulfillment-Why sometimes you need to shift your fulcrum point over striving for equal ‘balance'CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their souls purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Some highlights worth listening for:-perfectionism and the role it plays in making limbo harder-Are you holding on too tightly to the wrong things for stability during these times?-How to let go of the white knuckling and see it as a gift and use its ‘intelligence'-Channeling your inner ‘Dorothy' and following the yellow brick road…-Where we tend to skip steps and ‘escape' from solving issues-Feeling the feels and why it is key-Why Limbo et al is a part of life and not the interruption we perceive it to be-The paradoxes of rigidity…the blessing and the curse-How to cultivate flexibility and resilience-Getting into the box and how it actually helps us break free-Looking for the lessons to move forward fasterCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with too much stress.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JENNIFERJennifer is an intuitive business strategist working with spiritually-minded business owners to help them create a scalable business that acts as a container for their souls purpose.Stop by and get a bit of inspiration and guidance with our online oracle deck- SubscribeWebsite – TheBalanceMaven.comInstagram- TheBalanceMavenFacebook - TheBalanceMavenCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here's what we explored:Feeling all kinds of emotions at the same time and how that doesn't need to be a problemWe can feel curious and terrified, happy and sadsimply feeling emotions rather than analysing and judging them, enables them to flow more freelywhen we get stuck, is when we get overly attached to the meaning we're making of how we're feelingwe have an incredible capacity to simply feel our emotionswe get in trouble when we split off from that and go into analysisthere's intelligence in our emotions, not meaning but intelligencein deep grief there is lovein every emotion, at root, there is loveas we get more of a sense of our deeper essence, we get kinder towards our experiencewhat can stop us wanting to feel, is fearing losing controlmore and more places where we are trying to hold on become visiblecontrol dropping away is something Juliet fears and longs for all at the same timejust out of sight, is a huge expanse of lovecontrol is all about fear and trying to keep the separate self, safecontrol gives us an illusion of safety but actually holds us prisonerhyper-analysis and judgment of our experience/how we feel can cause a whole lot of sufferingand yet, we can be kind there toowe're noticing we can show up, feeling vulnerable and just see what happens, there's nothing on itthere's a gentleness available as we understand the nature of our experience deeper and deeperwhen we don't know, it can be a really fertile space if we can just rest there and not be freaked out by itwhen we find ourselves in a situation when we can see you have no control it can be a reckoning, a kind of fork in the road. Can we surrender?it causes a lot of stain on our system to try and hold on to controlthere's a lot of freedom in being able to have emotions and let them move through you freelythe nature of the human experience is ebb and flow: control and surrender; being in your heart or your head; fear and lovethe storm always runs out of rain, even when we feel off centre, we can know we'll come backthe awareness of something deeper begins to come more and more into the foregroundour emotions are simply inviting us to get present, to come into the present moment and experience themThank you for taking the time to listen. If you enjoy this podcast please share on your social networks and write a review to help others find it. We're taking a break over the Summer so wherever you are, go well and look after each other.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don't forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:when we listen for our own wisdom around problems, we get helpful fresh ideas that may include asking someone for helpif we identify help we need and then ask, that feels different from having others telling us what to do when we haven't askedask how you can help. Don't make assumptions about what someone wants and needswe want our own capacity for returning to well-being to be recognised when people offer helpwe also assume people can't handle feeling distresswe can become frightened by others' distressoften, without awareness, the reason we want others to feel better is because we need them to feel better so we can feel betterwhen we catch sight of this, we realise it is all about us!do we really see, we are okay at a deeper essential level (and so is everyone else)?Carla talks about when she had her breakdown-breakthrough, how her wisdom told her to let herself completely unravel, and then when everything was stripped back she felt her deeper essencewhat people crave is a grounded presencewhen our sense of ourselves gets interrupted, we may attempt to patch ourselves up and try to carry on as beforethere is a terror of falling apartbeing present with ourselves is an extraordinary giftwhen we speak to someone as if they are whole, not broken, without judgment, we invite the other to find that place in themselves'Why' questions don't usually give a satisfying answer - 'why am I feeling this way?'as we deeply realise we are more than our feelings, we get to take how we feel less seriouslythere is an intelligence in our inner experience (all of it), you begin to get eyes for the wisdom of the moment - it's alivethe difference between feeling our emotions and collapsing into our emotionsif we don't reflect on why we want to help and ask others what help they want (if they know), then we're not really being helpfuloften we grab hold of the story because it's a diversion, something to do.it looks like it's empathetic but it moves the focus away from the presentthe point of lightening up is, not only do we feel better, we are more resourced to hear and act on our wisdomoften, our head is disconnected from our heartsas we get more sense of a deeper dimension we get kinder towards our psychological experiencewe don't take how we feel so personallywhen are low, we are usually living in the past and when we are feeling anxious often we are living in the futurecoming back into the present can help us find equilibriumas we wake up to the wild ways our dramatic brains go on, we get to take it less seriouslyif you catch yourself trying to fix others, it's a good place to sit and reflect on how much you can get present with your own distresswe're human, we fall into our old tracks of thought but as we catch sight more and more of what's going on, there's a softeningwe begin to see our ridiculousness with love and humour rather than judgementbeing okay with whatever our experience is means we get to be okay with others, whatever experience they are havingthe space of not knowing is fertile ground and we begin to get curious rather than fearful when we don't knowcome alongside others in support but without making demandsdon't underestimate the power of warmth and connection and being fully present with someone in distressQuotes and Referenceswebinar: Mavis Karn and Grace Kelly, Essential SelfishnessRené Descartes, "I think therefore I am"Thank you for listening, be sure to subscribe and share with friends.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:notice what habitually clutters your headspace, eg worrynotice what else you gather or hoard in your life or business, eg coursesholding on to clutter in the mind or in our space often comes from a sense of scarcitywe often hold on to things because we have a sense they may be needed one dayis the clutter a deluded way we try to keep ourselves safe?putting good ideas out for recyclingmaking a parking space for good ideasoverwhelm and stress often makes clear decision making difficult, our brains get very dramaticwe have periods of indecision and uncertainty and then decisions do get madethere is an ebb and flow in our experience: clarity amid the clutter then back in the cluttergiving ourselves permission to go with that ebb and flow, get comfortable with itoften clarity comes on the flip side of things falling apart, of lossreleasing and surrendering to what is, often opens a beautiful space of clarity where there's nothing on our mindfinding laughter, softening towards the antics of our dramatic brains and our ridiculousness opens up spaceseriousness is a red flag, catching it in ourselves often lightens the moodask yourself, 'if I was light-hearted in this situation, in what way would that be unhelpful?'we experience the world not as it is, but via our perceptionswe don't need to change the stories, seeing our stories about ourselves, others and the world is often enough for them to start to lose their gripyou begin to get a space for something that isn't a better story but is beyond or before the storiestools and techniques without understanding are just a distractionwith understanding, you need fewer and fewer tools and techniquesinsight is what helps deepen understandingwhen we are very results-focused, we are imagining what it would mean to achieve the results, but how can we know what the experience would actually be like?notice how many inventive and creative ways we imagine will bring us relief, wellbeing, peace of mind, and securityonce we identify ourselves with things outside ourselves eg money, relationships, physical health, material things, we sufferas get less and less on our minds, life gets simpler and simplerwhen we feel flat, paradoxically, our mind's are very busy (even if we are not aware)in a busy mind, we tend to try to control everythingas you connect more and more with who you fundamentally are, more and more drops off your mind and our innate wisdom bubbles up more and moreoften when we think there's a big problem with no solution, it is because our mind is ramped up and we've lost sight of our own wisdom and claritywisdom comes in all shapes and sizesas you get eyes and ears for wisdom you see it in others and yourself more and morewhen we try to fix ourselves and others it is disempowering and means we lose sight of wisdomthere is a beautiful freedom when the clutter and trying to control falls awayQuotes and ReferencesFilm: What we did on our holiday (2014), Rosamund Pike, Billy Connolly and David TenantJamie Smart says you only have two problems: you have too much on your mind and you don't really know who you are.The deeper you listen, the smarter people getThank you for listening, we'd love to hear your reflections and questions. CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:it is easy to get seduced by the toxic culture of go, go, go and more, more, morethe pressure to present as happy and okay all the time is counter-productivewe are okay underneath but we do get to experience the full range of human emotionsuppressing or ignoring our experience can create more sufferingmuch distress could be averted if we could be okay with not being okayif we can set aside our discomfort at feeling off, there is an opportunity to tune in to our deeper wisdom which is the best guidewe may not listen to our inner nudges because we don't like what it is nudging us to doif we don't pay attention to our inner wisdom, it tends to knock louderit's common that people who are running running running, often come down with a physical or mental episode that forces them to stopCarla talks about a client who was exhausted and she told him he needed to take a sabbatical for a monthat first, he was horrified but being open and curious he decided to take the sabbaticalit changed his life. His business did not collapse and he got clarity about how he wanted to approach things on his returnwe have this illusion that if we don't try to control everything, it will all fall apartseeing through the illusion of control often happens through a natural disaster or illnessthere's a freedom in seeing through the illusioninitially, it may be frightening but the relief when you see you don't have to control everything is immenseCarla speaks of the client who took the sabbatical showed an amazing level of leadership in that actthe modelling and permission it gives others when we step away to take care of ourselvesthe client's team stepped up and it was incredibly empowering for themwhen we see that catastrophizing is made of thought, we might find space to wonder what positive things could come out of eg taking a break, rather than focus only on negative possibilitiesthe body has incredible wisdom, signs of burnout such as sleep and appetite disturbance, mood swings and difficulty concentrating are flashing amber warning lightswhen we feel very stressed it looks like it is the circumstances and events and other people out there causing our state of mindin a stressed state of mind, we see problems everywherewhen we aren't stressed we don't see so many problemsstate of mind plays a huge part in how we meet our experiencewhen you're very depleted, calming the system down is much more helpful than trying to tackle the so-called problems because you're not in a fit state to be very effectivewhen we are willing to step away from the crazy-making, busy mind we are in, we begin to see through the illusion of our thinkingwhen we aren't caught up in our busy thinking, we can find more clarity and what we can do or need to do is clearertaking on the pressure to keep up a mask of efficiency all the time robs us of the chance to tune into our deeper wisdomthere are many cultural messages subtly telling us we should be well turned out all the time, especially womenthere are also cultural messages around being successful, especially for menmany successful entrepreneurs report losing the sense of fun and adventure they experienced at the beginningare we drawn to drama as a substitute for feeling connection?how much we have on our minds determines our experienceif we define our sense of self by our success, appearance, relationships or money, then we will constantly be chasing those things or experiencing fear around losing themwhen we live in our heads instead of in the present moment, we end up on a merry go roundthe desire for connection is universal but we tend to look for it outside ourselves when it comes from withinthe less connected we feel, sometimes the harder we run, living more and more in our headsat any point, there is a possibility of checking in with that deeper self to see what is the next thing you want to do (or not do)sometimes we don't want to hear our deeper wisdom because it doesn't line up with the stories we've spun about ourselveseven though we know we'd feel better if we listened to our wisdom, sometimes we don't want to feel better, we're committed to our self-righteousness or frustrationlack of connection leads to burnout as we chase dopamine hits from things that inevitably are ephemeralwhenever we find ourselves getting obsessive about something eg exercise, then it's a signal that we are looking in the wrong place for connectiononce we realise we are not our business or our body or, fill in the blank, then we can find freedomif we engage in things that appeal to us, with nothing on it, we find a flow and ease that is missing when we're striving to prop up our sense of selftoxic goals arise when we invest our well-being in achieving something out in the world: losing weight, making more money, and winning a championship. Thinking we'll be okay when we achieve those things.you can see that you have invested your sense of self in accomplishing a goal, eg losing weight, when, on achieving the goal, the feeling of satisfaction is short-livedinsecurity is an inside job - there's nothing outside that will take care of thatseeing that insecurity is an illusion is what loosens its grip. No need to get rid of our insecurities, rather recognise they are passing states of mind. We don't need to take them so seriouslyliving life for the game of itburn out is the mind/body warning system. It's your friend. It's pointing to something that needs attentionQuotes and ReferencesGeorge Pransky, The Game of Life and Living Article: Three warning signs that your goals may be toxic by Jamie SmartBook: Wherever You Go, There You Are, Mindfulness meditation for everyday life by  John Kabat-ZinThank you for listening, we hope something helpful has come up for you from this podcast. And we'd love to hear your reflections. Get in touch via the comments and tell us what lands for you. Go ahead and share the podcast wherever you are online. And don't forget to subscribe so you can catch future episodes.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:check out what stories you're running about the experience you're havingin the midst of reactivity, if we can see we are riled up, space can open up a littleget eyes for helpful nudges showing up when we're reactive e.g. the idea to run an errand, run a bathirritability, anger, and pettiness can often be unrecognised fear or griefrighteous anger can be a powerful force for changethere is primitive brain, red not, reactive anger which is often connected to past feardiscerning the difference is helpfulanger can be used to protect ourselves. Getting angry with someone makes it easier to say break upcan we set boundaries without the petty meanness?getting underneath the initial flash of emotion to understand something deeperdo we have to make someone wrong in order to validate our needs and wants?being riled up is all our own work (an inside job)our defensiveness can cloud our judgmentwhen a client needed to take an employee to task over performance he felt angst and guilt which came out as irritation and angeronce he recognised what was going on, he could see more clearly that they needed to have a conversation about agreementswhen we're caught in reactivity, it can be confusing for others as we often don't know what we wanthow often do we honour agreements with ourselves?how often do we not protect our peace of mind?how often do we allow our stories to run away with us, and create suffering?often what we throw out to others is often a mirror of how we are treating ourselvesif we are giving ourselves a hard time, there's a good chance we'll give others a hard timewhen someone shows up really reactive, could we wonder what might be up for them, particularly if it's not typical behaviour?if it occurs to us to 'sit on the bank of ourselves', drop our stories (as best we can), then something else can show upif not, then leaving our thinking alone as best we can, helps things to move on throughwhen we're very reactive, we can innocently give that more oxygen and keeping it going more and morewe don't have to be at 100% to show up or to live our lives; there's something so much greater than our small sense of selfwhen you've lost something in the pond and you go wading in and stirring up the waters trying to find it, the water gets really cloudy whereas if you 'sit on the bank', the water will settle, and then it gets easier to look for the lost item.pay attention to the little nudges that might be telling you to do something, not on your to-do list but might be really helpfulthe narratives we have about internal and external states, is often what causes suffering, not the event or feeling state itselfseeing the stories is often enough for them to lose their fascinationif you have trouble sleeping, notice it's the stories you create about not sleeping which cause the suffering, rather than the actual lack of sleeplearning to say, 'can I get back to you?', can give us time to land in more clarity, rather than responding from reactivity'I'm an ordinary person having a beautiful life' - a thought that came in for Juliet with so much peace and relaxationwhen you notice your system is ramped up, step back if you can, and get curious about what's underneathThank you for listening, we hope you've heard something helpful. And we'd love to hear from you. Get in touch via the comments and tell us what lands for you. Go ahead and share the podcast wherever you are online.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know. 

Here’s what we explored:it's interesting to notice how we make up stories about interruptionswhen we are quick to judge others and ourselves we often get reactiveour podcast gives us a chance to come on our recordings as we are, feeling all the feelswe hope to encourage our listeners to also give themselves a little gracemaybe we should plan for interruptions like we do when traveling to important meetingsinterruptions always happen so maybe we should add buffer time for them, instead of being shocked they happenwe know we can't control the traffic so it's just logical to allow extra timewhy not put lots of time around every task or appointment in your diary?we're rewarded for ticking boxes on our to-do list and we can internalise that and prioritise quantity over qualityCarla talks of working with a client who hated interruptions and he started to realise he was just trying to do too muchhe began to block his time differentlyCarla hates being late and hates waiting for othersshe made an adjustment to her coaching agreement to tell clients she would only wait for 5 minutes after the start of a scheduled call unless she hears from someonean easy adjustment that makes it clear for her clients and reduces her sufferingpunctuality is an interesting place to look at the separate realities operatingwhen people are late to meet us, we can make up stories about not being respected, not being valued when in fact chronic lateness is often created by totally unrelated issuesanother client of Carla's takes care of customers in a company that has a no refund policyclients do ask for refunds and it makes this client mad but with Carla's help he's begun to catch himselfonce you consider someone else might be dealing with all kinds of life challenges eg sickness, a divorce, a work issue, we can begin to find compassionfrom a place of understanding and compassion, we are more open to wisdom and inspirationin the Buy Nothing group Juliet co-admins, she's noticed the wide range of communication styles and tries to foster a feeling of goodwill and understandingwhen we get stuck in our version of things, our way is the right way, there isn't much possibility of meeting in the middlethe difference between niceness and kindness: niceness is making the other person feel good all the time whereas kindness is about respecting your own boundaries and being truthfulCarla noticed the comedy the other day: she was having a hard day and was snappy and irritable with her friend who got upset. Then she got more upset.Juliet notices when she's very tired, her mind gets very busy, almost as if being tired is a threat to her safety. Her system goes looking for trouble, with the 'what's wrong?' gogglesshe sees how illogical it is: being very tired and getting more vigilantdo we have to do that?is there a space where we can drop that busyness, knowing it's not helpful?when Pedro had his back surgery, he would growl at other dogs that approached (not something he usually does)is there something appropriate in 'growling!'is it helpful to let people know where you are?many people in business feel they always have to be 'on it' which is toxicwhy are we so afraid to share and be real and vulnerable?attitudes to mental health are changing which is good newsthe minute you actually express you're having a hard day, there's a release, especially if we're met with understandingit's very helpful to see how state of mind plays out around complaints or interruptionswhen the person we are with is in a low state of mind and we drop into a low state of mind too, we end up with a battlegroundcan we experiment with spinning a more positive story to account for people's behaviour, giving people the benefit of doubt?discerning where it is safe to share how we are doingwhat about with ourselves? isn't that a great place to acknowledge if we are up against it and give ourselves a bit of gracein a strung-out state of mind, everything is harderwhen we don't extend that grace to ourselves and get really self-critical then we're going to get judgemental of otherswe can get interrupted by events and our own emotions. They happen all day longCarla shares how a wave of grief just washed in after a good day of work and how she was able to just let it roll throughwhen we try and tightly control our day, we're setting ourselves up for a fallit may look like we have no alternative: "I have a huge to do list"but that internally generated pressure comes from what we think about our to do list rather than the actual taskswhen we focus our attention on just what is in front of us, we take off layers and layers of additional thinking which makes it easier to move through activitiesbeing very reactive to interruption, is it actually the interruption to our task or what we make of this interruption?we are constantly running scenarios, like a soap opera script - such a dramatic brainit's not inevitable you have to be in a busy headspace when you're at work taskswe can wrongly assume working effectively has to come with a sense of stress and adrenalinewhat would happen if we just gave ourselves entirely over to the interruption?Carla gave an example of how she managed to pivot when she needed to take up an emergency vet appointmenthaving boundaries around when you can and can't be interrupted. Reflect on this and see what you need to do to make that soQuotes and sources'Expectations are resentments under constructions', Anne LamottSteve Chandler on expectations versus agreements, Carla shares this with her clientsThe Shallows: How the Internet Is Changing the Way We Think, Read and Rememberby Nicholas Carr, Paul Michael Garcia, et al.Your Brain at Work, Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long by David RockThank you for listening, we'd love to hear from you. Get in touch via the comments and tell us what lands for you. Go ahead and share the podcast link on social. CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:how fun it is to just riff and dive inmaking space to wonder what's new and fresh rather than getting stuck in stale habits of mindwe can notice stale habits of mind that make us feel yuck but also we can be stuck in more 'positive' assumptions eg I'm going on holiday, yay!can throwing out some structure, help with recalibration, or maybe bringing in more structure could help?Juliet describes feeling really tired after a couple of weekends of travel and meeting up with people after lockdown restrictions were easedshe got curious about how exhausted she was and what was up with that?she recognised she has got quieter inside over the last year and it would be easy to think she should speed up, get with the programme, but is that the only view?as the mind quietens we can get much more sensitive to stimulation of the mind in a way we wouldn't have noticed beforeCarla wonders, is this similar for extroverts? Anecdotally, Juliet hears many, including extroverts, are finding 're-entry' a little bumpy.when we re-engage with old situations, it's interesting to notice how old habits of thought can kick in, which have perhaps been mostly absent over the last year or soJuliet explains how a busy mind is like an engine revving really hard while idling (so it's not going anywhere).Previously, Juliet's idle speed was very high. She didn't know it was high. It just felt normal.when you step on the gas, and your revs are already high, it's not actually that big a movementwhen the engine is revving much less, even a moderate increase in revs can feel like a big dealso it is with the mind: when the mind is generally quieter, even a little mental busyness can feel much more intense than it used to.Carla chimes in, when you're revving the engine in neutral, it's not good for the engine.to stop revving, you just have to take your foot off the gas: leave your busy thoughts alone (as best you can)Carla notices these days, if she feels a little anxious, it feels awful. Whereas before she used to feel anxious most of the time but hardly noticed because it was just the way it wastaking a moment to sit on the bank of yourself, to pause, reflect, and allow our mind to come back into equilibriumdon't be so quick to judge your reactions as you pick up the threads of your livessometimes people wake up dramatically to how busy their minds are, in the midst of a crisisfor many others, there is a gradual, incremental quietening down of the body-mind systemit's helpful to look at this greater sensitivity to disturbance and clarify what might be going on.you may not have noticed that you've been generally living in a quieter, nicer feeling (not all the time)there can be intelligence in anxiety or tiredness eg, we are caught up in our stressful stories and I'm not aware, we need to take a restas the system settles down, these episodes can be little alarm clocks to wakes us up to being off centrewhen it was all-consuming (as Carla and Juliet have experienced), there's no awareness of anything but being in the dramait's not about ignoring feelings but acknowledging them and riding them out as best we canas things quieten down, sometimes we might catch a glimpse of a particular habit of thought eg irritation or judgment has latched on to a situationit's cool when we see this at play because then we realise, this is only one experience out of an infinite number of experiencesJuliet doesn't feel re-calibrating is being done by her but is happening under the surfacewe have big and small moments of waking up to all sorts of things eg around race, consciousness, etcour system has to catch up and settle into these new perspectiveswe can get in the way of that re-calibrationtrue change doesn't generally happen through tools and techniquestrue change comes from insight, an epiphany, or a shift in our understandingwe can't make insight happen but we can create the conditions for insightCarla uses the metaphor of a butterfly for insight. If you flail your arms around, it is less likely the butterfly will land on you.how can we make the conditions fertile for insight?Carla sees getting caught in her own stories of success or failure are her biggest obstacles to peace of mindfor Carla, it comes down to helping her mind relax, take things off her mind eg catching herself in her stories, meditation, breathing techniques, being in nature to calm down her nervous systemwe get ourselves totally embroiled in our stories which can be disturbing, terrifying, depressingat one level Juliet sensed she was causing her own distress but didn't know how to stop, so she used that idea to further judge herselfwhat's true is when we are very distressed, thinking more and more about our distress doesn't get us anywherewe, as human beings, are built for insightevery fresh idea you've ever had has just popped in your head. Where did they come from?what helps Juliet is being in conversation with people who are speaking and listening from a quieter, deeper, and more peaceful spacewhen you start to really see things for yourself, things begin to recalibrateone of the most helpful things Juliet kept hearing was: look at what is, instead of what isn'tnotice how, in a low state, we focus on what's wrong with ourselves, others, our relationships, our work, our dinnerlooking towards what's 'right' can be a helpful way to shift our focusCarla recounts how rubbish she felt the day before, dealing with some physical flare-upsfor a few hours she was stuck in it, then she noticed her dog Pedro was feeling bad with his tail between his legsin that moment, as her focus shifted to her dog, who she loves to bits, her self-pity shifted and her suffering lifted even though the physical symptoms persistedwe begin to see that the extra suffering we heap onto life's events comes from the stories we make up and believe about the eventshow much choice do we have about where we put our attention?Juliet would have said there were times she could deliberately put her attention here or there, and other times she couldn't help where her attention staysCarla notices there are times when she can't move her attention away from her stories and other times she just doesn't want to move her attentionShe wants to feel outraged or angry or mean! Such a great catch to see this!Carla shares a story of working with a team in a company and helping them see how a shift in perspective around down months can release energy, enthusiasm, and fresh ideas. They were able to re-calibratewhen we find a more settled and secure place inside, when it gets stronger, you can look out at the world and see treasure and gifts in everything rather than when we look out from insecurity where we see everything and everyone as a potential threatfrom that space of deeper equanimity, we get to see that how we feel doesn't matter as much as we thoughthow we feel is always in flux, always changingfrom a state of more spaciousness, we find we have what we need to navigate through life with all its challengessometimes, a restart or recalibration, like restarting the computer, may be all we needThank you for listening. If you love the podcast, get in touch and tell us what lands for you. Go ahead and share the podcast link on social. Questions? Topics? We love questions and topic suggestions. Send them via the comments.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:Carla shares how for her, a trauma response can be to isolate, to stay away from anything that might trigger a trauma responseCarla shares she has a tendency to just say no automaticallyand she can stay quiet about something she wantsbut also she notices she can be very clear about what she wantsin some areas, her boundaries are very clear and help her feel safebut staying in her little isolated world can be confiningsometimes women have more difficulty setting boundaries than menJuliet, on the other hand, can often automatically say yes (especially with loved ones) even when it's not in her best interestswe notice when we have clarity, it comes from a deeper knowing, without all the analysis and pros and consan automatic yes or no can be about not wanting to disappoint ourselves or otherssaying yes or no for the wrong reasons can have negative ramificationsgetting used to saying, "let me get back to you" can create a little space around making a decision, so we can let things settle and give clarity a chance to emergewhat happens when we set a boundary, we are clear about and then someone doesn't like the boundary and pushes against it?Carla shares how she can get so caught up in the idea of people being mad at herwe can go to great lengths and get really bent out of shape, to try and avoid the discomfort of people being upset with us, not liking uscan we extend our imagination to the other side of feeling lousy and someone being upset with us?in fact, people get upset. We get upset. Everyone gets upset now and then.can we get comfortable with people being upset, mad, disappointed with us?can we recognise that we like to catastrophize but in fact, these feelings roll in and roll out?what if when we set strong boundaries, wonderful things could happen?why not imagine a pleasant future?interesting to look at what we are putting on it all, what's at stake?when we think someone else's upset can truly and utterly and irrevocably disturb our peace of mind then it's logical to go to great lengths to avoid upsetwhen we realise that life has ups and downs whatever we do, we begin to see there is a deeper dimension to us that is unaffected by the ups and downswhen we reflect on where peace of mind truly comes from we can hold  the issue of boundaries more lightlyand that clarity comes through to othersCarla talks about her friend, who's no longer with us, who had impeccable boundaries "I can't see you today; I'm reading today".Although Carla felt disappointed she also knew when her friend did say yes, she knew her friend would be totally available for her.from that clear place, Carla's friend set a great example for herwe can get caught in wanting to explain our position, and have others understand. We can go on and on and never get that understanding. We can get stuck there.some great advice Carla was given: stop explaining, get clear on what you want, and move from that placewhen we need others' understanding to validate our experience or our instincts we can get really lost looking for something that doesn't exist or matter because the only validation we need is from ourselvesour experience is valid simply because we are experiencing itwhen we feel judged by others (and usually it is really being judged by ourself), we can get stuck and lose clarityself-doubt adds layers and layers of thinking which causes so much more sufferingwhen we try to deal with self-doubt by battling, arguing, denying or suppressing, it doesn't really work. It doesn't go awayhowever as we tune into something deeper, those doubts get less compelling, easier to ignore because we realise that's not all there iswe invite listeners to just notice what's going on in your head, without judgment if you can. It puts a little distance between you and the experiencethe culture (wider or our family culture) can seem to add layers of judgment so you come by your self-criticism innocently, you can have a lot of compassion for yourselfsometimes we get an epiphany and something like self-doubt can fall away in an instant; often it happens more incrementally. We notice those feelings are quieter, come up less often.we can go on a wild goose chase looking into every possible cause of why we feel lousy: upbringing, genetics, work, relationships, money, diet, exercise. It can be a never-ending cycle of trying to improveJuliet wonders if there isn't a way in which we enjoy that merry-go-rounddrama in our lives can make us feel alive, even though it's horrible and painfulhow honest are we willing to be with ourselves about our attachment to our habitual ways of thinking?can we muse, wonder, get curious about that?Juliet talks about hating the idea of a dull life when she was youngernowadays Juliet experiences a very different kind of quiet joy which may have been there in moments but good times tended to be very adrenalin-fuelledif our identity is tied up around the negative drama, it can feel very threatening to the ego to dismantle thatfor Carla, she had a desperately dramatic internal lifeshe feels like she gave up the drama and decided she wasn't going to have the highs and lows but chose instead a place of numbing out or shutting downnow for the third time, Carla feels like she is reinventing herselffor the years Carla went to neutral, she feels she needed that to calm down a very jacked up nervous systemJuliet suggested maybe it is the pendulum swing from hyper-activated to numbed out and now Carla may be discovering a place of more equilibrium somewhere in betweenwhen there is so much on what we feel, we can get very tangled, confused, and busy with meaning, stories, judgment, and opinionswhen we touch something deeper, constant, unaffected by our changing feelings, we start to experience life more unfiltered, which gives an unimaginable richness to everyday lifeco-creating with this lifeforce coursing through us, that is the pathit's not about figuring all this outour getting clear around boundaries is such a gift to others, as well as ourselvesas the system settles down, it gets clearer and easier to set and hold to boundariesThank you for listening. Send us your comments, questions, and ideas for future topics. If you love the podcast, do leave a review and share the podcast link on social. It helps make it more visible to others. Thank you!CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:Carla tells the story of her little, much-loved boat, called Freida, which recently sank and has to be scrappedshe reflects on the emotions she felt as the experience unfoldedshe noticed how others' calmness and kindness really helped her nervous system relax little by littleshe tells how she remembered the story of the Chinese Farmer who meets the twists and turns of life with, 'maybe, maybe not', even though his neighbours rush to exclaim on how wonderful, or how terrible, each event must be.she recognises that the Freida was very old, not in the best condition, and appreciates how she's learnt a great deal over this timelots of lessons: about maybe, maybe not, non-attachment, impermanence, understanding privilege, kindness of others, navigating the nervous system, seeing resourcefulness and resilienceFrieda is gone, she can't be revived'we'll see', has been Juliet's catchphrase of the pandemicthe capacity for drama is always available for us humans, we can make a drama out of anything, but maybe our appetite for drama variesthere is drama we imagine, we read about, drama happening elsewhere, then drama right in front of us that looks more substantialas Carla experienced this episode, there was a real movement of emotions, maybe helped by the lack of judgmenthow we remember things is constantly changing: memory is not fixed. That's a wonderful thing and gets Juliet curiousCarla recounts how she sees her parents in a totally different light these daysshe understands where her mother was coming from now and wishes she could have had more grace with her when she was youngour memories are not accurate: they are our perception of what happenedCarla gives an example of 'remembering' naming their dog, Banana when she was three years oldin her fifties, she discovered, in fact, her sister named the dog Banana, not her!discovering that our perception of the world is not accurate, can unravel us a little. what else might not be true?the story of our lives is made up of highlights and lowlights and these are highly selective!there's no objective truth of life, nothing you could map, as with the course of a shipif that's true of our own lives, how on earth do we think we could really know any other  person's life?how do those stories capture the heart and essence of another person, or ourselves?our memories are impermanent, as is everything in lifeCarla gives an example of one of her clients who worries about his young children barging into work callsthe pressure to present a perfect image causes suffering (looks like it's fed from social media)to model being human, being vulnerable and real, is a very powerful form of leadershipwhat if an interruption is, in fact, a gift?at a deep level, we know we can't control everything, can we just drop the controlling?Carla sees people do believe they can control their lives, thinking, if they have eg enough money, the right relationship, the right address then they will feel secure and successfulthe recent severe storms created devastation in affluent neighbourhoods of the US. A stark reminder that we have far less control than we think we dothe more we can drop the illusion of control, the more ease we can findCarla noticed she was able to go with the unfolding of the boat saga (mostly), even finding herself laughing at timesshowing up more authentically and vulnerably is a gift to those around usit is toxic (and exhausting) to always be pretending. It is damaging and a burden. Can we drop it?we know we're not going to live forever, you might want your home to be your forever home but we know we cannot guarantee that, we know our work or businesses thriving is not something we can guaranteein the final analysis we will lose everything: either through death or something elseeven though we know that, we live as if this wasn't the casewhat do we get out of living that way?it takes up a lot of mental energy, is it partly just habit?if you correlate working hard and stress as a sign you are doing the 'right' thing, then trying to control could feel 'good' or at least comfortablewhat would be left, if we weren't trying to control everything?the primitive part of the brain wants to keep us safe even though safety is an illusionCarla talks about the birds who live in the present moment, without thought about the past or futurethey don't make stories about themselves, life, or timewhat gets in the way of living more in the present moment?we don't see or trust our own resiliencewe don't trust the natural order (God, higher intelligence, Life Force)primitive fear of being kicked out of the tribewe submit to perceived expectations that look as if they are important for our securitybeing at the mercy of those expectations can create a great deal of pressurewe can spend a great deal of mental energy, wondering whether we're doing the right thing or having the right inner experience especially in comparison with our peers, people we admire or our competitorsdo we have to have our experiences validated by others all the time?what if we plow our own furrow?can you notice the times in your lives when you've acted on a nudge or instinct, a quiet knowing without needing others' approval?what takes us away from listening to, appreciating, and honouring those quiet knowings?we get distracted by our own busy thinking or the business out in the worldcan you notice how one state feels quiet and calm; the other urgent and racy. Is urgent and racy a signal to wake up to the fact we're caught up?when we struggle to follow our own path because we fear shame and judgment (our own and others), we exist with a lot of mental burden which is exhaustingit can take courage to march to your own rhythmthe world needs people to show up and follow their own instinctsan invitation for our listeners to observe and get curious if you could drop the conflict, what would happen if you did?would there be more ease and flow?keep sitting on the bank of ourselves and let go, again and againto be in the presence of people who are utterly themselves is an invitation to others to settle and find that in themselves.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:what if procrastination isn't a problem?what if, instead, it's a superpower!what if in fact, you need to race the clock to get inspired and motivated like Carla?what if we stopped judging and making ourselves wrong for procrastinating?we invite you to experiment for yourselveswhat if you lean into your procrastination and harness that energyon the other hand for some racing against the clock adds so much more stressso what's up with that?we unconsciously accept the idea that procrastination is a 'bad thing'it's not what we do (or don't do) it's what we make of what we do that creates suffering or easewhen we argue with ourselves (and our experience) we just drain ourselves, using up tonnes of mental energy'deadlinitus', any other fellow sufferers?sometimes changing the word can help e.g. incubationsometimes we procrastinate because the project isn't ready or we're not readybegin to notice how often new information comes in which changes the way you tackle a project or fundamentally changes the directionif you hadn't procrastinated you wouldn't have caught that fresh inputin how many areas do we have invisible assumptions and beliefs which set us up for mental conflict?when we get caught in turmoil it can be helpful to take a look further back, what is behind your 'yes'why did you say yes?maybe deep down we don't want to do it, we can't do it or we don't have the resources to do itwe may know intuitively that we want to say no, but over-ride it and say yesobligations and expectations can cause us to say yes when we 'no' is more alignedsome people say yes to everything and can get resentful but still follow throughsome people say no to everything, protective of their energy and capacity and maybe miss outin either case, slowing down and checking in with ourselves can help get more clarity about what we do and don't want to dowouldn't it be lovely if we got in the habit of saying, 'let me get back to you', in business, in families, at school?it would be a model for others, our partners, our kids, employees and our clientsasking for space to get clear in yourself can be so helpful for you as an individualeven more helpful if you are a leaderthe willingness to not know is the sign of a great leaderwhat if we turn not knowing on its head, instead of being a negative thing, it is a superpowerwhat if 'not knowing' is a fertile spacewhen we step away from the battle in our head we get to sit on the bank on ourselveswhat if we made pausing, reflecting, sitting on the bank of ourselves, the role of experts and leaders?at times we procrastinate because we are frightened, afraid to dive in, then we can scare ourselves more and more and when that happens, Carla finds it better to take care of the taskwhen the unfinished task sits on your mind, it can get VERY heavyJuliet used to pull all-nighters at university to finish essays and then when she was a copywriter, she realised she had to find a new wayshe came up with a very structured way of tackling multiple copywriting projectsall-nighters were very adrenaline-fuelledthe structured process was very tightly controllednowadays Juliet has less on her mind around procrastination so it isn't so excruciatingwe spend a lot of energy trying to curate our lives to look presentable to others (as we imagine they want)expectations always disappoint and can make you feel badexpectations are also not very clear, you have to try and suss it outagreements on the other hand are co-created and so much clearerwhen we have expectations we often don't account for the other person's perspective, everyone is living in their separate realityto make good agreements, you have to be clear and willing to involve the other person and be willing to change the agreementexpectations are not always voiced so you are asking someone else to be a mind readerwhen you get into a conversation to make agreements, you may discover things you didn't know or don't likemurky expectations can also be part of why we procrastinatewhen we're lost in murky resentments everything is going to feel yucksometimes you start a project full of resentment but after half an hour you notice it's gone. Our thoughts have shifted; we are absorbed in the endeavourother times, we start a project and keep distracting ourselves, unwilling to stay with the task, the resentment hangs around like a bad smellperfectionism can be a cause of procrastinationCarla has found that going for 80% perfect has been really helpfulseparate realities is a great place to explore in more and more places and more and more depthwhat if we met everyone's experience with curiosity?what if we met our procrastination with a bunch of curiosity, not judgment or shame?Quotes and ReferencesKolbe Index'I love deadlines, I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by', Douglas AdamsSteve Chandler, Supercoach, audio Expectations versus agreements'Expectations are resentments under construction' Anne LamottThank you for listening. We'd love to hear your procrastination stories, so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word, we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:when we feel embarrassed we can get dazed and confused because we feel out of controlwhen we feel very exposed our primitive brain can get triggered telling us we're going to get kicked out of our tribeeven if others think we are vulnerable and share lots of deep things, in fact we may still be guarded and keeping tight controlwe can be vulnerable on our own termsthe feeling of being ambushed can be intense and disorientatingthe idea that someone has found a chink in the armourthe desire to control can be invisible to usseeing the flight reaction in action can be startlingseeing how defended we are can be a shockbeing very defended, excessively independent can be a trauma responsein being so defended, we miss out on so much of the good, the true and the beautiful in lifeare we curating our life for others (consciously or unconsciously)?we may curate ourselves as wise, rich and loving when there is also a messy side which we try to hidesometimes we dress up judgement as curiosity and if we get caught out it can throw us into a spin because the danger signal gets triggeredwe are all just human; we make mistakes, fall into judgementwe can end up hiding parts of ourselveswe can end up trying to stage-manage our livesavoiding difficult situations can feel like a practical responsewe can end up feeling some parts of ourselves are not allowednoticing how low feelings can just come in even when we're having a good daybut they can also go away againwhen we are dazed and confused, it's a great time to sit on the bank of ourselves and be compassionatesometimes when our primitive brain is triggered, we can bring on our executive function and over-ride it. Other times we can't.when we don't have to bring a bunch of meaning and judgement to itif we can leave it be, it tends to dissipate quickerwe can question 'what just happened?', 'why am I feeling like this?'for Juliet when she gets reactive with 'difficult' people, the mind can go to all the things the other person has or hasn't donewhen we see that the reactivity is often not about the situation in front of us (unless there is real and present danger)the mind can get scrambled when it can't come up with a storybut this can be an openinggetting curious about vulnerability.our identities and security don't come from our possessions, success or our lookswhen that illusion gets popped it can be devastatingwhen we've lost everything (or when we haven't) we can live in fear of losing thingsyet losing things and bouncing back is resiliencethere's a lot of freedom when we see through the illusionsometimes when we bump up against our illusions it can be just a lovely letting goother times it can be disorientating, like when a big chunk of the iceberg falls offthere are times we may need to be defended, like Carla's dog Pedro, after the surgeryit's appropriate to be compassionate with ourselves when we get triggereddisconnection from one another, from the earth and ultimately there is disconnection from our own spirit/soulswe miss out on the richness and variety of life possible if many people are going around defended against the harshness of the worldtime to learn each others' songsCONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:we can let future worries steal current happinessthe other shoe IS going to drop and we can deal with that when it happensCarla has noticed how her business is going really well even though she isn't working really hardwe can feel uncomfortable with things going 'too' wellwe may get used to a level of low-level anxiety, checking for potential dangerwe may have a belief, success only comes from working really really hardthen when life is going well and it feels easy, one reaction is, 'what's wrong?'Brene Brown talks about tamping down her excitement and joy at eg an invitation to speak in case it didn't work outshe realised she was robbing herself of a ton of joy in the moment by not fully feelingnot wanting to look a fool if things don't work outhow many other places are we denying ourselves appreciation and enjoyment of the good stuff?when we decide something is a failure we can deny ourselves the joy we experienced along the way, eg when a relationship endsit's the journey not the destinationrelationships end all the time, for all sorts of reasonswhen we have a fixed idea of how things should go, we miss out on so much and create sufferingevery relationship includes disappointment and joy, can we fully feel all of it?we really have no idea how things 'should be' but we can get attached to our beliefs of how it should behow could we possibly know ahead of time, all that is in store for us?how good can it get when we take away some of our labels?how good can it get when we calm our primitive brain that looks for danger?it can feel unsafe to dwell on the good, the true, and the beautifulbut then we can often live in an experience of low or high-level threatCarla helps clients to distinguish between where there is real danger and where there is notwe can look through the lens of our stories and construct a fearful future based on that which gives us the experience of constant threatan example of someone who fears being burgled despite living in a relatively safe neighbourhood, in time, she was burgled - what can we see in that?another example of a woman who had a lot of anxiety about visiting her mother who tended to criticise her. She expected to rake her over the coals because she'd put on weightwe can notice we are living this stressful story again and again in our imaginationwe can notice how we might show up when we've been running this story over and over again: stressed, defendedCarla asked, can you drop the story and go with the most open heart possible?what about people who go about defended because they've been attacked, are we saying they created their experience?there's a danger in making the victim the problemrecognising our thinking is generating the visceral response is massively helpfulyou can notice this eg if you are afraid of flying, notice how you can experience all the anxiety of flying while sitting at your kitchen table, simply by thinking about it. That's your imagination.once you begin to see the power of the mind it opens up spacethe next question is, 'do I have to pay attention to these thoughts?'for those who suffer trauma, the primitive brain response can be very powerful, the rational brain can seem to go offline - no time or space available.if we can catch on to what's going on when we are trauma triggered, it is helpfulit can give a little bit of space between the thinker and the responsewe can recognise what might help at that moment eg stroking our pet, getting out in nature, talking to a friendtrying to use the rational mind to argue with a fearful, intense response is usually unhelpfulthere is a deeper place, the bank of ourselves, looking towards that, helps find equilibriumwhen we get eyes and ears for that space, we begin to appreciate it more and moreas we notice and appreciate the space more and more, the intensity and frequency of intense reactions can begin to lessenas space opens up, a sense of choice about dropping our attention may become availablebeing a slow learner is a superpower because we learn things so well!the mind is so powerful and our understanding of it can get more and more subtleit is very difficult to see anything new in the middle of a trauma response because you are in a defended, fearful state.on top of a strong fight, flight, freeze, faint mode we can add a whole bunch of scary thinking about the future: I'm broken, why am I like this, I'm never going to get over this, why can't I get over this?this type of thinking intensifies the stress responseif we explore the bank of ourselves when we are quieter we are more resourced and more likely to have insights into the nature of thoughtthe difference between pain and sufferinga trauma response can be the pain; the suffering comes with all the judgment we add on top of it when we analyze and make all kinds of meaning out of it - eg why haven't I got over this?as we recognise what's happening, eg we are having a strong stress response, we get space to leave it alone, to heal (or dissolve)like a wound, if we keep digging around in it, we will prevent the cut from naturally healingwe are made to handle life, keep looking in this directionQuotes and ReferencesFind Brene Brown on YouTubeThank you for listening. We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word, we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:we have lots of ideas about where freedom lieswe may think lots of money would give us freedomCarla notices financially highly successful people experience high motivation when they begin their enterprises. It was funCarla notices the same people can get weighed down worrying about maintaining their finances, scared of losing their moneywe may think more time would give us more freedomsome people turn to self-employment thinking they would be free of the tyranny of the 9-5yet sometimes micro-entrepreneurs found they were working longer hours and had less freedomwhen we make changes to 'get more freedom', the reality doesn't always match up to our visionit's interesting how we get caught in an illusion that different circumstances will give us freedomthere is another kind of freedom that everyone wants, freedom of mindmany of us have a negative inner narrative that is dramatic and criticalwhen we take our thinking less seriously, we find freedom: to see more possibilities, enjoy life more, and feel more alivethere are no set of circumstances: person, place, job, business, hobby that can give you peacewhen we make the mistake of thinking that changing our circumstances will give us peace of mind we get caught in cycles of perpetually chasing 'better' circumstancesfreedom doesn't come from getting stuff or getting rid of our responsibilities, it is a deeper freedom, it comes from withinthe idea of a heavenly afterlife led Carla to believe she had to gut it out here on earth and get her reward laterfreedom of mind doesn't mean we don't try to change systems of oppression or get free of oppressionwe can use spiritual seeking to bypass life, we can become detached and in denialyou get disconnected and startlingly unempatheticit comes, like all experiences, from the power of Thoughtfreedom of mind looks like not holding on tight, trying to control our experience, it's more about opening to the aliveness of experiencewhat gets in the way of opening to experience is the belief that we can't face lossloss of things, people, physical capacity, and ultimately deathfreedom to accept the human parts of ourselves as well as the divine partsspiritual bypassing can deny the messiness of our human experiencethis urge to only share our wins, our magazine smiles, denies the screw-ups in our lifewhen people share their messy sides, it feels more authentic, more trustworthyIt's not either divine or human, we're both human and divinewhen things are in opposition, the conflict or tension takes all the oxygenthen we look to escape either into base human desires or spiritual detachmentwe miss so much when we get caught in the opposition of thingswhen we open to both, the divine enriches our humanness and vice versayou can connect to the divine parts of you without all the dogma and judgmentwhen Juliet went offline, she discovered so much more time availableit's similar to when we stop paying attention from all our controlling, judgemental, insecure, constricting thoughts: there's so much more spacewhen Carla lived in Vermont with limited internet, she felt really open and enjoyed nature more than beforeit's similar to what happens when the noise in our minds settles downwe've lost connection to ourselvesthe root of freedom is connection with our deepest selfQuotes and ReferencesMan's Search for Meaning by Victor FranklGrit and Grace by Ken WilburThank you for listening. We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word, we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:often we celebrate the big events but not our successes along the wayare we rushing on to the next thing, without taking time to celebrate?when we complete something, celebrating can replenish usthe brain's negativity bias can keep us from enjoying the good, the true, and the beautifulcan we intentionally look for the good, the true, and the beautiful?it can feel a bit threatening to the primitive brain that wants to stay in hyper-vigilant modewhen we feel good it can induce a bit of panic, fearing the other shoe is going to dropwell, the other shoe is going to drop!if we worry less, we are more resourced to deal with it when it happensto be relaxed is to drop your guard - over-ride the primitive urgecelebrating is a way to intentionally over-ride thatwe feel a little more inspiration, a surge of energy, a little more motivationthe sound and feel of celebration is just such a lovely invitation'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'if we wait for the world to give us something to celebrate and stay in vigilance, we will only see what's wrongwhat we bring to life, we get: bring celebration to life and we find things to celebratedoes reward have to be based on productivity, output, speed, and numbers?what if we celebrated waking up, the fact the sun rose, we have clean air?celebration is connected to wonderwhen you wonder at the miracle of Life, it releases so much fun, gratitude, and joywe can become burdened by the responsibility of taking care of others in business or our family and lose our ability to enjoy our liveswe've made a false correlation between 'hard work' and outputwe falsely believe that if we're not working hard, there must be something wrongwhen we believe that seriousness and stress are necessary for productivity, we live in the feeling of seriousness and stresswhen we look to enjoy what we do, we'll get that feeling of enjoymentsounds too simple but try it for yourselveswe learn best from playoften our initial success is done without too much thinkingcelebration can restore that playfulnesswhen we don't think there's anything on it we are more responsivewhen our state of mind goes down in the basement, everything looks difficult and very compellingin that state of mind, our view gets constricted and we get exactly that experience of things being difficultwhen we are light-hearted, our mind is open and we get in the flow and things feel easy and funwe experience that putting this podcast togetherfascinating to see how our business can thrive without the experience of stress and struggleinterruptions for example can become a big problem if we get really serious about themif we don't take interruptions so seriously we can surf the wave of interruptions and be flexible, even find unexpected treasure in interruptionsa shift in perspective can be so helpfulit's interesting to look closely at what we are telling ourselves about productivityare we missing the heart of things, the possibility of connection and joy in every interactionour opinions get us into troublewhat is before our opinions?when we get less fascinated with our opinions, we get to smell the roses more and enjoy life moreconnected conversations are so nourishingwhen we are not feeling connected with ourselves and Life, celebration can be a way of connecting with divine spiritCarla and Juliet are in the business of connectionwhen we are constricted, we feel more separate and so the primitive brain responses get louderwhen we are in connected conversation, we psychologically relax and we get access to more wisdomwe can notice this with pets: we don't have so much thinking, so we get to enjoy themif we look before thought and feeling, we can find more spacethe sky is like our essence, it is always there, storm clouds, like thoughts and feelings, come and gowhen we measure how we're doing by how we feel, we are missing the ever-present skythere's less to do when we realise thoughts and feelings are just passing through. No need to comment on them, rearrange them or figure out where they came from.as humans, we have all kinds of thoughts and feelings all day longwe can bring celebration to life. Try it!Quotes and ReferencesMan's Search for Meaning by Victor FranklLong Strange Trip - a documentary about Jerry Garcia and The Grateful DeadIn Quest of the Pearl by Sydney BanksRocket Man 2019 film about Elton John's early yearsPinky Piglet the blind, deaf dog on FacebookThank you for listening. We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:what about having a little bit of fun every day?sometimes there can be a kind of pride around being 'sophisticated'silliness can feel like being out of controla light heart is so much more helpful in so called 'serious' situationswhen you get down and serious with others who are down and serious, everything just gets more heavy and seriousdo we just need permission to bring more playfulness to life?a light heart invites others to lighten upwe're not talking about tone-deaf joking around when others are sufferinglight-hearted memes and gifs in the midst of difficult situations can bring a moment of lightness and reliefthose moments of lightness and relief open space for fresh thinkingseriousness doesn't feel too good and is often a barrier to understandinga lighter heart opens self and others to more openness, curiosity, and tendernessthe brain loves play: we feel better and find more flowhow does playfulness help the bottom line?you have to rest and restore to be effective at looking after the bottom lineis playfulness a superpower?a definition of success: being happy with who we are, what we have, and what we are doing, right nowwhen you allow yourself to enjoy what you're doing, it isn't just a more pleasurable experience, it impacts what you're doinginnocently we say, I can't be happy until I'm good at this task/job/project?we may notice that playfulness is easy in some areas of life, eg.photography for Carlain other areas we may bring lots of fear and judgment to things, believing we have to get it rightwhen we 'enjoy' tasks, it's simply because we don't have too much thinking on our mindit's cool to notice we may be holding heavy, serious perceptions about a task which we aren't actually doing right nowsometimes we hold these perceptions in our imagination and experience all the seriousness of our thinking, mistakenly believing it is the task giving us the experiencea great question for journaling: what would this look like, if it was easy?you bring your state of mind to life not the other way roundif you are in an irritated state of mind, everything in your awareness will feel irritatingyou are literally living in the experience of irritationany moment has the possibility to be anything in your experienceyou can't focus on the problem and the solution at the same timeproblem thinking creates an experience of problemsperfectionism is a joy killergetting something 80% done, is good enoughyou can always refine and upgradewhen we are tight and serious and constricted around something, it is hard goingas an experiment: what would it be like to go into something totally playful and curious. Try it with something that is not high stakeswhen we deeply realise the wholeness at our core, we get less interested in striving to be perfectpeople want a richer internal life, why wouldn't they?Carla is seeing clients recognising the toxicity of the perfectionist culture and she encourages them to get more realfinding the courage to go into something with more authenticity. Dropping the masksstand in your own knowing when you get ideas that seem left fieldthis time is fertile ground for innovation: for new ideas to emerge, for people who don't consider themselves as leaders to come forwardwhen we are being authentic and true to what resonates, people are attracted to thatthey are attracted to the quiet knowing rather than the idea itselfwe're here to invite each other into a quieter space and what people will do in that space is up to themit's an exciting timewe invite listeners to experiment with more playfulness in their livesQuotes and ReferencesPainting with John (HBO series)Kintsugi - Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with golden lacquerThank you for listening. We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:high achievers can feel excited to have certain things eg the right watchbut also there's a pressure to live in certain places, wear the right thingsand they report some incongruity and concern around these urgeshaving lived large and small, Carla's preference is to live in a small, uncluttered spacewe can get caught in a misunderstanding that our security or happiness rests in having certain thingsit's interesting to notice the arc of desire, anticipation, and satisfactionthe satisfaction remains for a while but before long there'll be something else glittering on the horizon and so the cycle begins againdeep down we know wellbeing and security doesn't reside in stuffif you deeply know wellbeing and happiness come from within then there's greater freedom around stuff - you can get and enjoy things with a lighter heartwhat meaning are you putting on your possessions?our material wealth says nothing about who we are at our essencewhen we confuse where our wellbeing rests, we suffer, feeling tense around getting and keeping material wealthwe're inundated with messages that point us in every direction (except within) to find happinessit isn't the availability of stuff but our perception of material possessions that gives us our experiencewe relate to material possessions through our own stories, conditioning, and beliefs and this is often the source of our angsttune in, before all our stories and from that still place, what is your feeling about this item?Carla's story about make up illustrates how our stories can fall away and when they do our behaviour may changewhen we realise we are doing things, acquiring things, or presenting ourselves in ways that feel off, it is because deep down we know we have all we need inside so putting so much importance on stuff doesn't resonatethe freedom comes when we don't have so much riding on what we have, then we can get things that appeal to us and just enjoy themthe feeling of how we live moment to moment gives us our experience; not our possessionsas we understand deeper and deeper how our experience gets created, more and more of our stories get visible to usthe masks begin to drop away more and more and we get more realthe divine, the mundane, and the messiness are all part of who we arethe experience you are having at this moment is all you have: some feel lousy, some feel greatmostly we meet our experience through the complexity of layers and layers of stories and so life looks difficult and complexour stories can act as barriers to others, increasing the feeling of separationthe super-rich often remove themselves from close contact with their community believing that gives them a better experience of life. Does it?we all have periods of feeling insecure about relationships, jobs, money whatever our level of material wealththe richness of experience available from within is in a different league to the buzz of a fancy meal or a nice caras we discover inner peace, contentment, and joy that isn't dependent on circumstance, we get to enjoy everything more because there is less on itit goes way deeper and is way more nourishing than the short term dopamine hit of a new purchasewhat you seek does not exist outside of yourself: it is withina definition of success: being happy with who you are, what you have and what you dowhen you start with being happy right where you are, you create more space, more possibilityhappiness is available in any situation: in good times and bad timeswhen we are scared of losing things, it's a sign we are confused about where wellbeing truly comes fromonce we realise where well-being resides, there is so much more freedom to play the game of lifeQuotes and References@thefemalelead InstagramGrace and Grit by Ken WilburThank you for listening. We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:when people try and fix us or our problems it's not helpful, it can be disempoweringwhat about not offering solutions to others?what if we have faith that others can figure things out?what if we wait to be asked for advice?the simplicity and power of just being present with someone is under-estimatedwanting to fix others is usually about the fixer's egofixers often can't tolerate someone's else's pain or discomfortfixing is often about the fixer feeling betterto have someone sit with you when you are hurt, confused or angry is incredibly powerfulCarla talks about an initial conversation she has with prospective clients where she doesn't coach but listens deeply and asks questionswhat if we don't need a bag of tools and techniques to deal with work, family or finances?what if bringing the simplicity of listening with a tender, open-heart is all we need?a psychological relaxation is a kind of dropping down under our thoughts rather than trying to control or argue with our thoughtslistening to understand means listening with an open minded curiositywhen we are too in love with our own great ideas we stop listeningwhen people are going through difficult life challenges, we can worry about what to say or do.Just show up and be present and see what occurssupport (for ourselves and others) can be incredibly simplesometimes we don't need words, so much is carried on the feeling, more than we realisein a constricted tense mind, it's almost impossible to come up with solutionsalso in a numb, zoned out mind, problems can seem overwhelmingthat deeper, peaceful feeling is never far awaywe can discover the possibility of a little reboot at any odd momentgentle encouragement to look towards a deeper experiencetrying to force our mind into any particular state tends to just get in the way - more busy thinkinghow is it we can switch out of a low mood for example, when we have a work call?fresh thought gives us a fresh experienceif you deeply realise that, it begins to change your relationship to how you feelstate of mind is fluid: notice how much it changes through the daywhen you feel state of mind gives us an experience of irritabilityif you try to solve a problem from that irritable state, everything you look at will be experienced as irritatingwhat about long term depression, how do you get over that?there is a deeper dimension that is beyond or before your moodwhen we begin to see that all our feelings are coming from inside of us, there is a freedom in recognising thatoften we add a pile of judgement, analysis and shame on how we feel and so we have the experience of being shamed, wrong, not good enoughgrieving is healthy, it's a way of coming back to equilibrium if we allow ourselves to experience it wholeheartedlythen it doesn't feel as stickyour psychological system will come back to equilibriumthere is a way to feel more grounded through what we think of as difficult emotionswhen we expand into how we feel, huge arms of love wrapped around whatever we are feeling: grief, mean-nesswe are participants and creators in the experience we are havingas we get insights around where our experience is coming from, our relationship to our moods begins to changeour capacity to feel, to feel love, and appreciate everyday beauty, expandsthe need to control begins to fall awaythe control, analysis, and judgment takes so much energywonder about that still space before our thoughts and feelingswe touch that space all the time, it's ordinary, but we overlook itQuotes and ReferenceAdyashanti - on many social media platformsThank you for listening. What are you seeing around simplicity? We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. We'd love this podcast to reach a wider audience and point more people to their own wisdom, so please like and share it. It all helps and we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:why do we all want to belong?we want to feel safe, accepted, and securethe feeling of aloneness can be acute and seem unbearablewe often gravitate to things, environments, groups of people where we think we could belongwhen those options are shut down, you get thrown back on yourselfif we're used to filling our days with company and activity and projects, it can be a very uncomfortable place to beis there a deeper sense of belonging we've missed in our busyness?not to say that human contact is not a deep human need and being deprived of it has an impactit's common for people not to enjoy their own company, in fact, we can go to great lengths to avoid being alone with ourselveswe are pack animals and the brain wants to find safety in a tribecults can appeal to that desire to belong and connectwhat is the real source of connection and belonging?we forget that we are animals, we are a part of naturegetting out into nature can be a way to get back in contact with a deeper dimension of beingit's interesting to notice, there will be places in our lives where we instinctively get settled and curious, for us that is when we are in conversation with clientswe may experience a deeper sense of connection out in nature or when doing hobbies or with loved ones or petsJuliet wonders do we just revert to old patterns of thought when we are alone?do we, or could we extend that same interest and curiosity to ourselves when we are at large in our own minds?'pondering' feels much nicer than 'ruminating' which suggests grinding and old habits of thoughtthere is a deeper dimension, it's an ordinary, everyday occurrence, when we drop out of that habitual thought, even if just for a momentin that deeper dimension, there is no sense of being alone or not alonewithin the mental chatter, we can feel everything: lonely, bored, fed up but it's ever-changingis this time nudging us and sometimes kicking us to go inwarddo we fear that depth? Sometimes we love the idea; sometimes we avoid it at all costssometimes people get so so busy and then if they stop, they get bored and are unwilling or unable to sit with that boredomhow can anything fresh can arise when we fill our heads with constant noise and distraction (internal or external)that desire to stay busy can come from not wanting to hang out with dark, overwhelming thoughts - we want to feel better - who wouldn't want to do that?those little hits we get from e.g. cake, our favourite show, alcohol, nicotine, exercise, give us a brief moment of respite but it never lasts (and we know that)Juliet used to measure how she was doing by how she felt - thinking that she SHOULD be feeling goodthere's something better than feeling betterthere's something more reliable than feeling bettersitting on the bank of ourselves, we may touch on a space where we don't need to feel betterto be in a foul mood, to know you're in a foul mood and to know also that you're okaywhereas if we can't stand how we feel, we often go into overdrive and vomit over others and feel self-righteous doing sowhen we let go of the urgent desire to feel better, ironically things don't matter so much and things move through more easilyif all you've got is 'how you feel' then you're going to gives those feelings a lot of weight and meaning (about you, others, and the world)it makes sense you're going to employ all kinds of strategies to feel betterwhen you realise there's something beyond how you feel, your moods don't matter so muchyou can feel more intensely, more wholeheartedly but not suffer so muchwe started this podcast because it feels there's so much superficiality, fakeness, spiritual bypassing and we wanted to bring something more real to peoplewhen Carla was a fundamentalist Christian she was searching for that happy place where she would get enlightened and never feel bad againenlightenment is not about never feeling sad again or facing loss or paina deeper part of ourselves knows this to be truethe search itself can lead to so much suffering, taking us away from our own wisdom, our own 'soft animal body' as Mary Oliver saysif we don't pay attention to all the meaning we make out of our feelings and moods, they get less stickya headache could just be a headache, not personal, not imbued with meaning, just a headachewe get to respond to the pain with common sense rather than piling on lots of meaning and adding huge amounts of sufferingwe still get caught up in the big fat juicy stories but we wake up quickerwith physical pain, for example, we can reach for a story because we want to feel better by making something justified, or, more often than not, we reach for the dramatic stories that have us as the villainwhen we get wise to our stories, see them for what they are, we find we can be less attached to themit only makes sense to try and control what we think and feel and worse try to control what others think and feel when we don't realise there is a deeper dimension that is always thereLife is always living us, the only thing that takes us away from a felt sense of that, is getting caught up in our storiesthe more we notice and appreciate that deeper sense of life pulsing through us, the more we get eyes for it, the more present it becomes to usthat deeper sense is like a buoyancy aid through the turbulencebelonging to a group whether that's a family, religious, work or other community is often conditional on conforming to rules and beliefsCarla talks about her time in a fundamentalist Christian Church that threatened to excommunicate her because she was sleeping with her boyfriendIn terms of evolution, it is important that the tribe has certain rules and understandings so you can live peaceably togetherCarla felt more spiritually connected when she left the Church and got more connected up with Nature and herselfwanting to belong can be like a cravinggroups often form around shared concepts and beliefsorganising around shared values can be helpfulwhen we have an experience of feeling connected in a deeper way, nature can reflect thatwhen we feel a sense of expansiveness, compassion and love, what we interact with, reflects that even if it is loss or sadnesssometimes our need to belong can over-ride our common sense concerns about what might be going on in a groupthe concept of connectedness is very different from the heartfelt knowing of that connectednessas we get a sense of that connectedness at a heart level, perhaps we get more discerning as we realise a sense of belonging doesn't come from anything external but from deep withinbeing able to discern when we are trying to fulfill needs from the wrong source is a wonderful thing as it leads to a less frantic relationship with all the diversions and distractions on offerthat craving to belong can lead us to go along with toxic practices that are not good for us or for society in generalwe are not trying to convince people of this deeper dimension, you have to realise it for yourselfwe, Carla and Juliet, are in the business of pointing people back homepeople are waking up more and morethe more people go through life open-hearted, willing to engage more wholeheartedly with their own emotions and other people's emotions, the more we begin to see the person just like you, in front of you, with the same hopes and fearsthere is no doubt that people are suffering at many levels, often directly from man-made causes and urgent practical help is needed. If we can help, do so.at a deeper level, real sustainable change lies in a change of heart, one person at a timewhen we are waking up, there can be a lot of discomfort or a place of wobbliness because we're not yet groundedto integrate new insights, there is a need to stay with the wobbliness and not turn awayeven if we do turn away, avoid or fight it, there will be more opportunitiesthere is such gratitude available as we reflect on what going deeper brings: more compassion, open-heartedness, clarity, and wisdomthere is more available for us as we go deeper inwardsQuotes and ReferencesWild Geese a poem, by Mary OliverThank you for listening. What are you seeing around belonging? We'd love to hear your questions or feedback so drop us a line. We'd love this podcast to reach a wider audience, so please like and share it. It all helps and we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here’s what we explored:when we get curious we may notice hidden biases around money: judgement towards those with lots of money and/or judgement towards those without moneyour beliefs around money are often inherited from our families and cultures: disdain, desire, disavowal, resentment, fear, discomfort, deep needthinking around money can be laden with judgement and take up a huge amount of mental energyour money beliefs are often contradictory and unhelpful in our day to day lifeas we pay less attention to our beliefs, they tend to quieten downthe level of anxious thinking is not determined by how much money you haveboth extreme wealth and poverty can be accompanied by a feeling of scarcitya feeling of abundance comes, less from WHAT you have and more from your relationship to what you havewe recognise that there are many who are held down by systems of oppression which directly impact on their health, education and economic securitywe recognise, as white, educated women, it is a form of privilege to be able to self-sabotage ourselves around moneyand yet, we all have the possibility of connection with something bigger than ourselvesmany people in our world are suffering extreme hardship and opening our hearts to see where we can offer practical help, is common senseto create a world that is equitable where we share resources with everyone requires a change of heart on a mass scalefear of not having enough food, money, energy or love can leave us utterly destitute inside however much money we havethat craving is a longing for connection which is not found outside ourselvesget curious about your definition of abundance - there's no guarantee a feeling of abundance is to be found in material goodsin agriculture, fields lie fallow to help maintain the soil in good heartunlimited growth, individually or as nations, simply doesn't work, it requires stimulants to keep goinga deeper connection with self, others and nature is what brings a richer more abundant feeling which isn't tied to what we have in material termssimply recognising what we are doing with our minds, that takes us away from 'being in good heart" is more helpful than 'rugby tackling' our beliefs around moneyQuotes and ReferencesThe Buy Nothing ProjectBraiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall KimmererThank you for listening. What are you seeing around money? We'd love to hear your questions or feedback so drop us a line. We'd love this podcast to reach a wider audience, so please like and share. It all helps and we appreciate it.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.

Here's what we explored:is the New Year a time for something other than personal goals and resolutions?recognising the gift of presence: to ourselves, our clients, and our losseswhen we are present, time and space fall awayin presence we find renewal and then we return to the fray of life, again and againbeing present to our experience, whatever that is, including griefin presence, we find openness and tenderness,we don't have to fix or control, there is a sense of reliefin presence, we find the wisdom to know what's nextleaders can create a culture where it's okay to grieve, to have ebbs and flows in productivity, to embrace our humanitythe push to produce more and more is not replicated in natureclocks and timetables are useful for very specific purposes eg making appointments but so much in life happens independent of clocksthe only thing that makes something good or bad, valuable or not, is our judgment, made of thoughtbeing present gives us more access to common sense which guides us beautifullygrief and gratitude are two sides of one coin. When you make space for the loss, you also make space for the gratitudewe often want to fix bad feelings, get through them quickly, but if we can pause and honour what is, there is a richness availablewhen old griefs come back around, maybe they are coming up for air, for healingwhen we get really lost in our painful stories about ourselves, others, the past, and the future, we sufferto really see how human beings create stories all the time and our stories are ever-changing is a huge insightwhen we recognise the illusory nature of our stories, we get to hold them more lightly, let them flow through usnot using 'getting present' as a way to avoid our feelings or bypass thempresence and tenderness are so healingby honouring the experience you are in right now, you are honouring Lifewe are built to experience Life coming through uswhat occurs to you around renewal and restoration?Quotes and References'The Reith Lectures, Dr Mark Carney, How We Get What We Value - transcriptThank you for listening. We'd love to hear what landed for you, your questions or feedback so drop us a line. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share on your networks as we'd love more people to get the chance to tune in, slow down and listen to their own wisdom, especially at these times.CONNECT WITH CARLACarla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.Website - CarlaRoyal.comFacebook - Carla Royal CoachLinkedin - Carla RoyalInstagram - CarlaRoyalCoachSign up to receive Carla's weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow - Subscribe CONNECT WITH JULIETPoet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox - SubscribeWebsite - SolcareInstagram- Juliet FayeFacebook - SolcareCONNECT WITH US!If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!Finally, are there topics you'd like us to cover? Please let us know.