Something Worth Considering

I'm whispering the secret but you can press play and hear it fine. Just keep it to yourself.

What do you want for Christmas? When I was young, my dad would say that all he wanted for Christmas was a smile and a few kind words. Back then, I thought that was pretty silly. I certainly wanted more than a smile and a few kind words. But over the years, I have come to appreciate Dad's simple request. Presents and pretty packages are nice and who can't use one more this or that? Even so, a smile and a few kind words are never unwanted or unappreciated. Thinking about that today got me wondering. What gifts have I come to value the most over the years? Which gifts do I most remember and cherish? Here's what my musings finally focused on. If you are considering a gift for someone who matters to you or hope for a gift from someone who cares about you, peruse my shopping list. Each item is a gift that I am happy to give or receive. Each is a welcomed upgrade from Dad's smile and a few kind words whether you give or receive. All you need to do is press the play button and the Best Gift List Ever is there for you, just waiting for you to give to someone who matters to you or to request from someone who cares about you. Be well, do well and do something nice for someone. He or she will appreciate it and you will both have a happier Christmas.  

Thanks for Joining me. Let me share a story with you. It's an example of what most of us have been taught about conflict resolution, working out differences, and more generally about working and living among each other. • We have been taught to be more tolerant and less judgmental. • We have been instructed to respect and value our differences and diversity. •We have learned ways to communicate more effectively by being better listeners and more receptive to those who disagree with us, those who do not value our cause and point of view. • We have been shown the wisdom of moving beyond our limited incentives and personal values to embrace the greater good, the collective interest. We might think of this as consecutive subordination: Our interests are subordinate to family interests, family interests are subordinate to community interests, community interests are subordinate to national interests, and humanity rules all. Do we agree on the list? Of course not. We seldom agree on much unless we are associated with the same cause, the same perspective. Even then, our consensus hangs together on a very thin thread. Now for the story. It should work like this. We have been taught that it can work like this. We have been instructed to go along with this approach to harmony and mutual success. But we know that it will not work. Even if it seems to be working it eventually fizzles out. Factions emerge, differences intensify, and harmony retreats. As you consider the story, I only have two questions: • Why do we persist in trying to resolve our collective issues using the same approaches and strategies we have been taught since we were too young to understand, knowing that the chances of lasting success are slim to none? • If our conflict resolution paradigm no longer works -- assuming that it ever did – and knowing that most will not agree to any new paradigm that might be proposed, how will you approach conflict resolution at the family, community, national, and humanity levels without reverting to the faltering paradigm we have all been taught? The Rift Within: Rebuilding Riverton's Community Chapter 1: The Fractured Community The small town of Riverton had always prided itself on its tight-knit community, where people of varying ages and socioeconomic statuses lived harmoniously side by side. It was a place where neighbors knew each other's names and shared in each other's joys and sorrows. But as time passed, a subtle shift occurred, disrupting the tranquility that once defined Riverton. It all began innocently enough, with a group of enthusiastic individuals who were passionate about a specific cause. Their dedication was admirable, but little did they know that their newfound focus would soon consume their lives, altering the dynamics of the entire community. Randy Wayne White's words echoed through the minds of the townspeople: When you hook up with a cause you forfeit your interest in relating to those not associated with the cause. Initially, the members of this cause-oriented group embraced their mission fervently, united by a common purpose. However, as they delved deeper into their cause, they inadvertently distanced themselves from those not associated with it. Conversations became focused solely on their agenda, leaving little room for connection with others. This isolation gradually seeped into the fabric of Riverton, causing a ripple effect that spread throughout the community. As other groups emerged, supporting different causes and rallying behind diverse beliefs, the once unified town became a fragmented patchwork of clashing ideologies. With each passing day, the divide grew wider, and the once- cherished unity was replaced with opposition and hostility. Riverton became a battleground where the original cause was pitted against other causes, and the community suffered as a consequence. Ideas were met with resistance, innovation stifled,

  Thanks for joining me. I am sharing a story with you that highlights both an opportunity and a trap. The opportunity is for great success and fulfillment. The trap is for failure and disappointment. If your dream, your passion requires putting all of your eggs in one basket, please do what you've got to do. It may work out just fine. At least, you need to believe it will. I'm sure you see the trap. Ignore it at your risk; and if all of your eggs are in that basket, the risk is extreme. Better would be to hold back an egg or two, just in case. Since I seem to be into old sayings, here's another one. Don't burn your bridges unless you will never need to go back across; and even then, don't burn them if there is any acceptable way to keep them open. My point is that this story could be true but the odds of its being true for you or me are slim to none. Does that mean that we shouldn't go for it? It definitely does not. We should. Here is the point. Hold back an egg or two and don't burn any bridges if you can at all avoid starting the fire. Now for the story. Just substitute your dream, your passion for those of the guys in the story. Give it your best shot. Just know how you will recover if your shot misses. Chapter 1: A Familiar Face The hustle and bustle of daily life in a big city was something that Ben had become used to since he'd moved to Los Angeles. It was a far cry from his childhood home in the small town of Leetonville, Ohio, where life was a lot quieter and simpler. It was during one afternoon stroll, when he was walking along the busy streets of downtown, that he noticed something out of the ordinary. A man walking towards him, wearing a blue plaid shirt and a baseball cap, that appeared very familiar. Ben had never seen this man before, yet he could not shake the feeling that he knew him from somewhere. The man's face was so familiar that it seemed as if he had known Ben for years. As the man got closer, Ben could swear that he recognized his eyes and the way he walked, his mannerisms, everything about him. He was confident that he had seen this man before, but he wasn't sure where. The two men stopped in their tracks, with Ben standing in front of the mysterious stranger. The man looked up at Ben and smiled, and it all clicked. "Ben?" the man said, "Is that you?" A wave of recognition swept over Ben's face. It was his old neighbor, Robert! Robert had moved away when Ben was still a child, so he was understandably surprised to see him here in Los Angeles. The two men embraced and shared stories of their lives since then, and Ben was delighted to learn that Robert had come to Los Angeles to pursue his dream of becoming a movie director. With the memories of their old home in Leetonville, Ohio flooding back, Ben saw that his old neighbor was still the same old Robert he had known and loved all those years ago. Chapter 2: Rekindling Dreams As Ben and Robert sat down at a nearby café, the memories of their childhood in Leetonville, Ohio flooded their conversation. They reminisced about their adventures in the woods behind their houses, their shared love for baseball, and the countless hours spent dreaming about their futures. Ben couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia as he listened to Robert talk about his passion for filmmaking. It reminded him of the dreams they had shared as kids, the dreams that had slowly faded away as they grew older and life took them on different paths. "I never thought I'd see you again, Robert," Ben said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "It's amazing how life brings people back together." Robert nodded, a wistful smile on his face. "Yeah, it's funny how things work out. I always knew I wanted to make movies, but life got in the way. I got caught up in the routine, the expectations, and I let go of my dreams." Ben could relate. He had always dreamed of becoming a writer, but the practicality of life had led him down a ...

Thanks for joining me. I have been away for a while but am glad to be back with you. While I was gone, my website has had a facelift. Check out GaryCrow.net to see how the update went. I have been thinking about what's true and how we can ever know. Although I don't personally have any certainty, I did come across this 3 Dose Truth strategy and thought you might appreciate it. It's just something to consider. Give it a couple of minutes and come to your own conclusion. In these days of fake news and intentional misinformation, it's easy to wonder if anything we read or hear is true. Maybe even more alarming is our inability to know who to believe, who to trust. And of course, that is the point of fake news and misinformation. The goal is not so much to get us to believe false this or untrue that as it is to fuel mistrust and doubt: mistrust of our political leaders and doubt about the intentions and motivations that underpin our government and institutions. In The Fine Art of Baloney Detection, Carl Sagan was definitely on point when he counseled, "Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and bamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage. But if we don't practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly serious problems that face us — and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up for grabs by the next charlatan who comes along." It's harsh but certainly self-evident that "If you don't control your mind, someone else will." John Allston points out the obvious, but it has gotten to where even the obvious is suspect. In testimony to this sad state of affairs, William Safire advises, "Never assume the obvious is true." At the extreme, we get to where we mistrust what we hear, what we see, what we think; and if the insidious erosion of trust persists, we come to distrust our personal judgment and our self-confidence falters. There is an antidote for this insidious erosion of trust, but I doubt that many would think it is an easy medicine to swallow. The first dose is to give up our reliance on group-think. "Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path." I don't know who said that first and doubt that it matters much. The value is in being reminded that we are responsible for what we think, what we believe, and just because lots of well-meaning folks have signed onto the trip does not make it okay for us to thoughtlessly follow. Anatole France assures us that "If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." It's also true that if fifty million people think or do a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. It's up to us to guard against being just another one of the fools. The second dose serving as an antidote for this insidious erosion of trust is to give up on our habitual reliance on simply accepting the perspectives, views and opinions of people with the loudest voices or the most followers. Let it suffice to remind us of Buddha's advice, "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it — even if I have said it — unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." The third dose is perhaps the hardest to swallow. Grace Hopper argued that "The most damaging phrase in the language is, it's always been done that way." Variations on the point are mental crutches such as "I've always thought…," or "I've always believed…, " or "Everyone knows…." The notion is that once I think or believe anything, that's the way it is forever. Granted, it's being consistent; but as Bernard Berenson cautioned, "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." Or perhaps you prefer George Bernard Shaw's take, "Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." Even so, Glen Beaman has a point, "Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking...

This report was generated by AI. I point that out to emphasize that reducing employment inequity and discrimination is not rocket science. Obviously, the recommendations will help an infuriatingly persistent issue in many if not most organizations. I'm sure you can, with little effort, suggest a few more steps that can and should be taken. Someone very wise once observed that we know better than we do. As we see, even a box of computer chips knows better than we do. If we already know what to do, and we do, why do those who are in a position to fix things don't? It's a damn shame and we should all be ashamed, but we aren't. Maybe one day our computer overlords will show us what morality is really about. Report: Fostering Gender Equality and Work-Life Balance To: Senior Management Team From: Sarah, Alex, and Jordan - Managers Date: [Yesterday] Subject: Addressing Concerns about Gender Equality and Work-Life Balance We, the undersigned managers, have conducted a comprehensive review of employee feedback and concerns related to gender equality and work-life balance within our organization. Through various channels, we have gathered valuable insights from employees, shedding light on the challenges they face. It is our sincere intention to address these matters proactively and create a more inclusive and supportive work environment. Gender Equality: We have heard from employees that there may be instances where women are treated differently than men, particularly in project assignments and opportunities for advancement. To foster an environment of equality and provide everyone with a level playing field, we propose the following actions: Implement Mentorship and Leadership Training Programs: Create formal mentorship initiatives that empower women to excel in their careers. Offer leadership training programs that cultivate the skills and confidence needed to take on leadership roles. Promote Inclusive Project Assignments: Ensure that project assignments are distributed fairly based on skills and competencies, rather than gender. Regularly review project distribution to identify and address any disparities. Work-Life Balance: Employees have expressed concerns about the pressure to prioritize work over family life, impacting their overall well-being. To address these concerns and promote a healthier work-life balance, we suggest the following strategies: Flexible Work Arrangements: Introduce flexible work arrangements, such as remote work options or flexible hours, to accommodate the diverse needs of our employees. This will allow them to manage both their work and personal responsibilities effectively. Guidelines for After-Hours Communication: Establish clear guidelines for after-hours communication, ensuring that employees have the freedom to disconnect during their personal time without fear of repercussions. Support Networks: Create platforms for employees to openly discuss work-life balance challenges and share experiences. Foster a supportive community that encourages the sharing of best practices for achieving balance. Conclusion: Incorporating these strategies will not only address the concerns raised by our employees but also contribute to a more vibrant and inclusive workplace culture. We believe that by prioritizing gender equality and work-life balance, we will enhance employee morale, productivity, and long-term retention. We appreciate your consideration of these proposals and your commitment to creating a workplace that values every individual's contributions and personal well-being. We look forward to working collaboratively to implement these changes and create a more equitable and supportive work environment. Sincerely, Sarah [Manager] Alex [Manager] Jordan [Manager] Let's start with what's good for people before doubling down on what's good for business.  

Once Upon a Time A charming café named "Tranquil Brews" welcomed patrons seeking comfort in solitude. At a corner table with a view of the cobblestone streets, Mia, Alex, and Riley gathered as they had for years. Their warm beverages offered not only comfort against the slight chill in the air, but also a sense of camaraderie among kindred spirits. With a gentle sigh, Mia reluctantly spoke up, her voice a soft melody that blended with the café's soothing ambiance. "You know, there are days when I wish we could have just one day to ourselves, without those extroverts barging into our peace." Alex nodded in agreement, his gaze drifting to the window as if to emphasize the point. "Exactly, a day where they'd just mind their own business and let us introverts thrive in our own solitude." Riley, ever the thoughtful one, leaned in closer, a contemplative expression on her face. "I've been pondering that too. What if we decided to declare our own day, a day of quiet where we can indulge in our own worlds without the constant intrusion?" The idea hung in the air, tantalizingly close yet needing to be fully grasped. After a beat, Mia's eyes lit up, her face illuminated by a soft smile. "Perhaps we could pick Monday? It's the start of the week, and maybe people won't mind too much." Alex leaned back in his chair, a hand resting beneath his chin as he pondered. "True, but Mondays can already be overwhelming. Maybe we should choose a day that falls somewhere in the middle. Not too close to the weekend's chaos, but not too far either." "Tuesday," Riley suggested, her eyes sparkling. "It's like a blank slate, a day without expectations." Nods of agreement swept across the table, sealing their decision. Tuesday would be the Introverts' Day, a sanctuary for quiet reflection and cherished personal space. But as the excitement settled, a new challenge arose: who would champion the cause and announce this new introverts' holiday to the world? A moment of awkward silence enveloped them, punctuated only by the occasional clink of a spoon against a teacup. Riley shifted in her seat, her gaze flitting between her friends. "I'm not sure I'm up for making a grand announcement. It feels a bit too... extroverted for my taste." Mia and Alex exchanged understanding glances, their shared empathy bridging any unspoken thoughts. "What if we didn't make a big announcement?" Mia suggested. "What if we simply started celebrating it ourselves, quietly?" Riley's eyes brightened, a hint of curiosity in her voice. "Okay, but how do we ensure that everyone respects our day? What if people don't even realize it's Introverts' Day?" With a mischievous grin, Alex leaned forward. "Well, here's the ingenious part. If anyone dares to breach our solitude on Tuesday, we can just... ignore them." Mia chuckled softly, her amusement mirrored in Riley's eyes. "And if ignoring doesn't do the trick, we can delegate the responsibility to Winston." Laughter filled the air, the image of Winston, the kind-hearted barista who had become part of their daily routine, being the enforcer of quiet, proving too amusing to resist. "Poor Winston," Riley chuckled, "but you know, it might just work. If we all commit to this, we might actually have our Introverts' Day without too much fuss." Unfortunately, It Was Just Then When A group of lively extroverts burst into "Tranquil Brews" with infectious energy. Their laughter and animated conversations filled the air, creating a stark contrast to the usual calm atmosphere. Mia, Alex, and Riley exchanged knowing glances, bracing themselves for what they knew could be an unwanted encounter. The extroverts took over a large table near the entrance, their boisterous greetings echoing across the room. Mia, Alex, and Riley kept their heads down, hoping to remain unnoticed in their cozy corner. However, curiosity got the better of one of the extroverts, a tall and gregarious woman named Lily.

Thanks for joining me. We hear presidential candidates talking about the greatness of America. They seem to reflect a range of beliefs from America is great to America used to be great but is not great anymore; they will make America great to they will make America great again. I thought it might be interesting to ask ourselves what action we think might lead to a great America or to sustaining America's greatness. To that end, I have collected seven reasons to believe America is as great or greater than it ever was and seven reasons to believe that America is not great and in need of action to make it great. There are thus fourteen aspects of American life that need attention. Of course there are others but Let's limit ourselves to these fourteen for purposes of this exercise. For each of the fourteen, answer two questions. First, what needs to happen to keep the element great; or if it is currently deficient, what needs to happen to make the element great? Second, what action will the President have to take to sustain the elements greatness; or if the element is currently deficient, what will the President need to do to assure that the element becomes great? Let's keep America great or make it great again, depending on perspective. Here are seven reasons people often give for believing that America is as great as it ever was: Innovation and Technology: Many point to America's history of technological advancements and innovation as evidence of its continued greatness. (Note) Be sure to answer the two questions for this element before moving on. Cultural Diversity: The nation's rich cultural diversity and the opportunities it provides for different perspectives and experiences. Economic Prosperity: Highlighting the country's strong economy, job opportunities, and entrepreneurial spirit as indicators of its greatness. Freedom and Democracy: Emphasizing the values of freedom, democracy, and the protection of individual rights that are seen as integral to America's greatness. Global Leadership: The role that the U.S. plays in international affairs, including its military strength and diplomatic influence. Higher Education: The presence of world-renowned universities and research institutions that contribute to global knowledge and innovation. Social Progress: Noting advancements in civil rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and other areas as signs of America's ongoing progress. Here are seven reasons people often give for believing that America is not as great as it used to be: Economic Inequality: Many argue that increasing income inequality has led to a decline in the overall well-being of the population. (Note) Be sure to answer the two questions for this element before moving on. Political Divisiveness: Concerns about heightened political polarization and inability to find common ground on important issues. Healthcare System: Criticisms about the complexity and cost of healthcare, leaving some citizens without adequate access to medical services. Infrastructure: Aging infrastructure, like roads and bridges, is seen as a sign of neglect in some areas. Education System: Worries about the quality of education and access to affordable, high-quality schooling for all. Gun Violence: Concerns about the prevalence of gun violence and perceived lack of effective gun control measures. Climate Change: The perceived insufficient response to environmental issues, including climate change and pollution. Debate: Is America as Great as it Used to Be? In the heart of a bustling cafe, two friends, Jack and John, engage in a spirited debate over a topic that has long fueled discussions across the nation: the current state of America's greatness. Jack, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, leans forward and begins, "John, my friend, I firmly believe that America is as great as it ever was. Just look at the incredible innovations we've witnessed,

The Surface Story In a world teeming with mysteries, the possibility of extraterrestrial life has long fascinated and captivated the human imagination. Recently, a group of individuals, including both humans and two undercover aliens, gathered to engage in a thought-provoking focus group discussion. The primary objective was to gauge human awareness of the presence of aliens among us and explore their potential intentions. The ensuing dialogue was marked by diverse opinions and varying levels of concern, ultimately yielding inconclusive results. Within the focus group, differing levels of concern emerged regarding the potential intentions of these supposed alien beings. Some participants harbored fears of malicious intent, envisioning scenarios of invasion or domination. They highlighted historical accounts of alleged abductions and unexplained disappearances as cautionary tales. In contrast, a faction of individuals maintained a more optimistic outlook, postulating that extraterrestrial life might be benevolent and possess advanced knowledge that could benefit humanity. In an age of advanced technology and medical breakthroughs, there was still a lingering fear of that which humans cannot see. People around the world claimed they saw UFOs in the skies, heard strange creatures in the night, and sensed something lurking in the shadows. As the rumors and speculation began to spread, a secret organization was formed that focused on researching and studying possible alien life forms. This group, known as the Alien Interactions Committee, assembled the focus group of humans and aliens alike to determine how accurate these fears were. The goals of the focus group were twofold. First, they sought to determine whether or not humans had a heightened awareness of aliens in their midst, and second, they wanted to know what those aliens' intentions were, should they exist. Taking place in a secret location, the focus group was comprised of fourteen humans and two undercover aliens. Facilitated by an experienced alien-interactions researcher, the group was divided into four round tables and instructed to discuss a series of questions in an effort to push the limits of perception. Questions such as “Do you think aliens are among us?” and “If aliens were here, what would be their intention,” quickly filled the room with passionate energy. After some spirited debate, it was clear that the participants' opinions of the possibility of aliens being among humans varied significantly. The two aliens concealed their presence and allowed the conversation to continue while watching carefully for any subtle signs of suspicion from the group. At the end of the day, the results of the focus group were inconclusive. While none of the humans had identified them, it was clear that the possibility was close. Without any clear idea as to what steps to take next, the committee decided to continue the focus group meetings and keep a watchful eye. There Is More to This Story As the participants gathered for their second meeting, the atmosphere in the room was charged with anticipation. The previous session had left them with more questions than answers, and they were eager to continue their discussions. The facilitator, Dr. Elizabeth Reynolds, welcomed everyone and reminded them of the importance of their contributions. The focus group reconvened at their respective tables, each one buzzing with excitement. The two undercover aliens, Zara and Xander, took their seats, their human disguises flawlessly concealing their extraterrestrial identities. They observed the humans closely, searching for any signs of suspicion or unease. Dr. Reynolds began the session by posing a thought- provoking question: "If aliens were among us, how do you think they would communicate with each other?" The room fell silent as the participants pondered this intriguing possibility. Some suggested that aliens might possess advanced telepathic abilities...

Thanks for joining me. I'm pretty sure that you are not driving anyone up the wall but you likely have at least one coworker who has you pulling out your hair. I have a few suggestions but no good solutions to getting other people to behave more to your liking. With that disclaimer, let's first take a look at a work area where people are definitely driving each other nuts. Following that, I have a set of actions and behaviors that I think we can all agree are deal brakers if our goal is workplace harmony. None of us wants to be guilty of these interpersonal blunders. Finally, I do have some suggestions for managing those coworkers who are far less fun to be around than us. Chaos at Work Jared was the first to arrive at the office. Every day, he would come in early and get right to work. He had a lot of enthusiasm, and he was eager to make his mark on the company. However, many of his coworkers had taken a disliking to him. They called Jared a jerk, claiming that he was too competitive and wouldn't settle for less than the best. He could also be quite cocky and was always trying to prove his intellect. Roaming around the office, Jared would look down on those who weren't working as hard as him, and the mere sound of his voice would make most of his coworkers recoil. Little did Jared know, his attitude was actually having an adverse effect on the team. He was extremely loud and it made it difficult for everyone else to focus. He definitely had his strengths, but his attitude was making it hard for others to appreciate them. This created tension among the team, and it was becoming a problem. Caroline was the polar opposite of Jared. While everyone else was hustling, she was loitering around. Management had no idea what she was even doing, because she had no intention of getting anything done. She was your typical ‘coast when you can' type of worker. Everyone on the team talked behind her back, but to her face, they were civil. Emma was the team's gossip queen. She had her finger on the pulse of the business, and she knew everything that was going on. She was always trying to stir up drama, gossiping about her coworkers behind their backs and in the office. The whole team felt uncomfortable around her and openly wished she would find something better to do with her time. Clyde was the newest addition to the team. He was fiercely opinionated, and his coworkers found him intimidating. Nobody wanted to admit it, but they were actually scared of him. He had a way of bulldozing through conversations, and he regularly spoke over the top of anyone who dared to disagree with him. Dave was the team's resident worrier. He was constantly worrying about his performance and how he looked to others. He was always late getting things done and was always making excuses for his tardiness. His indecisiveness meant that he frequently had to ask his teammates for help, and this made everyone on the team resent him a little bit. Victoria was the team's party girl. While everyone else was hard at work, she would be chatting with friends, checking her phone, or even playing online games. She hadn't been that productive since she joined the team, and everyone was starting to feel that she was taking advantage of her colleagues. Finally, there was Jason. He was always rude and inconsiderate to his teammates, and he regularly disregarded their feelings and opinions. Whenever his coworkers needed a little help, he was nowhere to be found. He had no intention of helping them, and the rest of the team felt betrayed by him. As time went on, the issues between the team members began to worsen. They increasingly felt disconnected from each other, and all of their differences were coming to the forefront. The work environment was getting more and more hostile, and it was obvious that something had to give. Something Has to Give The tension in the office had reached its breaking point.

The Discovery It was a warm spring day and our playground was bustling with activity. My friends and I were running around the playground, shouting and playing at recess. Madison was chacing her friends, her pig tail braids bouncing behind her when suddenly, Madison spotted something unusual under a bush by the fence. "Hey, what's that?" she shouted, pointing. Everyone stopped and stared at what she had found. Under the bush was a big box. It was painted dark blue and decorated with multicolored shapes and swirls. Madison cautiously approached the box, but before she could touch it, Tate blurted out, "Let's open it!" Everyone agreed and they eagerly gathered around the box. Everyone was excited at once, anxiously trying to guess what could be inside the mysterious box. Mason was the first to reach out and touch the box. He grasped it firmly but carefully and lifted it up only to find a tiny piece of paper stuck to its side. Madison quickly pulled it off the box and everyone gathered around her as she slowly unfolded it. It said, "For a special purpose, only to be opened by a creative and curious mind." Tate was the first to react. "So, do we have to find out what the purpose is? Or should we just open it and see what's inside?" Everyone started bickering about what to do. Mason argued that we should open it, while Madison argued that we should tell our teacher and have her decide. In the end, we decided that we were too scared to open it so agreed to tell Mrs. Butterworth. Madison ran off to get our teacher, leaving the box behind. We all followed Madison, crowding around Mrs. B and asking her all sorts of questions. We quickly told her what had happened and nervously waited to see what she was going to do. She thought for a while and then finally decided, "We should open the box. We never know what surprises might be inside." When we all got back to the box, we crowded around as Mrs. B opened the box. We were pushing and shoving some to see inside. Before anyone else could make a comment, Madison shouted with glee, "It's a purple basketball!" The Magic Game We all stared at the purple basketball in awe. It glistened under the sunlight, its vibrant color captivating our attention. Madison couldn't contain her excitement as she reached into the box and grabbed the ball. She held it up for everyone to see, a wide grin spreading across her face. "Wow, it's so cool!" Tate exclaimed, his eyes widening with wonder. Mason, always the practical one, furrowed his brow. "But what's so special about a purple basketball?" Madison shrugged, her excitement still bubbling inside her. "I don't know, but let's try it out!" We all quickly made our way to the basketball court, our sneakers squeaking against the pavement. We gathered around the hoop, anticipation building in the air. Madison took a step back, her small hands gripping the ball tightly. With a swift motion, she tossed it towards the hoop. To our amazement, the ball twisted and turned in mid-air, defying gravity. It soared through the hoop with a satisfying swish. We gasped in astonishment, our eyes widening with disbelief. "Whoa! Did you see that?" Mason exclaimed, his voice filled with excitement. Tate's face lit up with a mischievous grin. "Let me try!" he said, snatching the ball from Madison's hands. He threw the ball with all his might, and once again, it twisted and turned, finding its way into the hoop. We all erupted into cheers and laughter, our joy and amazement filling the playground. For a while, we took turns, each experiencing the magical power of the purple basketball. No matter how we threw it, the ball always found its mark with a perfect swish. We all laughed and cheered, our competitive spirits ignited by the purple basketball. But sooner than you might expect, we started to feel a sense of monotony. The magic of the purple basketball, while thrilling, had taken away the challenge we craved.

On The Road -- Finally It was a balmy summer night, and after a long day of work, Cindy's dad had finally decided to give his daughter the driving lesson she had been asking for. It was so nice outside, and the sun had just started to set over the horizon. She had been so excited for this day, and now it was finally here. Cindy gripped the steering wheel firmly, excited to finally put those classes she'd taken to the test. She slowly backed the car out of the driveway and onto the street, being careful to make sure all the lights were on and that she kept to the speed limit. Dad felt a bit apprehensive in the passenger seat. He kept peeking over to her every so often, making sure she was keeping a close eye on the road. Unfortunately, it seemed every time he looked, she was getting distracted and drifting off the lane. He knew he had to jump in and take control, but that made him feel guilty. He didn't want to make her feel like he didn't have faith in her. On top of all that, Dad felt like he was stepping into the shoes of his own father. It made him think of all the times when he was just a kid and his parents took turns taking him out for a spin behind the wheel. He remembered all the conversations they would have, the tips his Dad would give him, and the funny stories they'd share as they drove. He couldn't help but to wonder how he'd fare with his own daughter. He let his worries go, and gave Cindy a few gentle reminders and corrections as she drove. He laughed when he saw her stressing out over the speed limit, joking around that driving too slow was nearly as bad as driving too fast. After a while, they'd parked in the lot of a grocery store for Cindy to practice her parking skills and to give her a little break from the intense concentration she'd been putting in. When Cindy thought she had practiced enough, Dad agreed and thought a little treat was in order; so they stopped at their neighborhood Dairy Queen for a snack and to laugh about their experiences, both good and bad. Dad gave her a big hug when they returned to the car, feeling proud of the progress she was making. With a few minor pointers, they got back to their driving lesson, this time deciding to head up to Grandpa's house. He knew Grandpa would get a kick out of seeing Cindy driving. Navigating the Storm It was a stormy afternoon, and dark clouds loomed overhead as Cindy prepared for her next driving lesson with her mom this time. The rain was pouring down, creating a symphony of pitter-patter on the roof of the car. Despite the less-than-ideal conditions, Cindy was determined to continue her journey towards becoming a skilled driver. As they sat in the car, Mom adjusted the mirrors and reminded Cindy to be extra cautious due to the slippery roads. The windshield wipers swished back and forth, struggling to keep up with the heavy rain. Cindy took a deep breath, her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Remember Cindy, always keep a safe distance from the car in front of you," Mom advised, her voice calm and reassuring. "And be sure to use your signals when changing lanes, especially in this weather." Cindy nodded, her eyes focused on the road ahead. She cautiously merged onto the highway, feeling the car slightly skid on the wet surface. Her heart raced, but she reminded herself to stay calm and composed. As they drove, the rain intensified, making visibility increasingly challenging. The sound of thunder echoed through the car, causing Cindy to jump in her seat. Mom reached over and patted her hand, offering words of encouragement. "You're doing great, sweetheart. Just remember to stay focused and trust your instincts," Mom said, her voice unwavering. Cindy's grip on the steering wheel tightened as she navigated through the storm. The rain seemed relentless, blurring her vision and making it difficult to see the road markings. She relied heavily on her instincts,

A Gift Few Can Comprehend Who is the nicest? The story begins with Jack and Jill arguing over a young rescue Labrador that they have just adopted. They both assumed that the pup had not been named yet and it was up to them to name him. For days, the couple had been debating the right name for their pup. Jack was keen on bestowing upon him a brave name such as Max while Jill preferred something softer, such as Angel. The arguments seemed pointless as neither of them seemed to be willing to compromise. Finally, on a rainy Saturday afternoon, Jack and Jill were surprised to find the active pup snoozing in a chair in the sitting room. It was then that they noticed the small ID tattoo from which, with a little additional research, they learned that the pup had already been given a name: Quincy. The couple looked at each other and sighed. Of course, neither of them had known ahead of time that such a beautiful name had already been bestowed upon the pup. Quincy was the perfect name - a balance of strength and softness that Jack and Jill had been arguing about for weeks. Quincy stirred and looked up at the couple with his big brown eyes. His name was now cemented. At that moment, Jack saw the pup's intelligence and declared Quincy was the nicest amongst.the three of them. Jill disagreed, and thus, the debate for the nicest began. Little did Jack and Jill know that this silly debate would lead to a mystery of the greatest proportions. The Mysterious Disappearance Weeks had passed since the naming incident, and Quincy had settled into his new home with Jack and Jill. The couple had put their argument about who was the nicest on hold, focusing instead on their adorable Labrador retriever. Quincy had quickly become the center of their world, bringing joy and laughter into their lives. One sunny afternoon, Jack and Jill decided to take Quincy for a walk in the nearby park. As they strolled along the winding path, Quincy's tail wagged with excitement, his nose sniffing the air for new scents. The park was bustling with families and their pets, creating a lively atmosphere. Suddenly, Quincy's ears perked up, and he pulled on his leash, leading Jack and Jill towards a secluded area of the park. They followed curiously, wondering what had caught Quincy's attention. As they reached a small clearing, they noticed a peculiar sight. A leather collar lay abandoned on the ground, its metal tag glinting in the sunlight. Jack bent down to examine it, his curiosity piqued. The tag read, "Max - Beloved Companion." Jack's heart skipped a beat. Max was the name he had initially wanted to give Quincy. Jill's eyes widened with surprise. "Do you think this collar belongs to one of Quincy's former mates?" she asked, her voice filled with wonder. Jack nodded, his mind racing with possibilities. "It's certainly possible. But why would someone leave it here?" As they pondered the mystery, Quincy began to sniff around the collar, his tail wagging furiously. He seemed to be urging them to investigate further. Intrigued, Jack and Jill decided to follow Quincy's lead. They ventured deeper into the park, Quincy leading the way with his nose to the ground. The path grew narrower, and the trees loomed overhead, casting long shadows. The atmosphere became eerily quiet, as if the park itself held its breath, waiting for the truth to be revealed. After what felt like an eternity, Quincy abruptly stopped in front of an old, dilapidated shed. The door creaked open, revealing a dimly lit interior. Jack and Jill exchanged nervous glances but pressed on, their determination fueled by Quincy's unwavering confidence. As they cautiously stepped inside, their eyes adjusted to the dim light. The shed was filled with dusty crates and forgotten belongings. But what caught their attention was a faded photograph hanging on the wall. It depicted a Labrador retriever, identical to Quincy,

Alien Discovery Roger Applegate had always been a skeptic. He thought that aliens were a myth pushed by conspiracy theorists, and that anything extra terrestrial was impossible. Until one day when he was walking home from work. As he took his usual shortcut, he noticed someone watching him. He peered up the alley, and discovered that it was an alien. The alien was an imposing figure, standing tall with a slight green hue to its skin; it had an alien nature to its features that Roger simply couldn't deny. Roger had to take a second look when he noticed that the alien was speaking in English. The alien addressed him and asked how he was doing. Roger was stunned. He couldn't believe what was happening. He couldn't find his words, giving the alien time to start a conversation. The alien introduced itself as Jeff, and told Roger that he had been sent from planet Babidi to colonize earth. Jeff told him that he was one of many aliens on earth that looked and talked like humans, and that their mission had been going on for years without much attention. Roger was in shock. He could hardly believe what Jeff was telling him, yet he felt strangely drawn to Jeff's story. He felt a connection. Jeff told Roger that he could help the aliens in their plan, and that they wanted Roger to help spread awareness of their presence. Roger was amazed by Jeff's story and startled by his request. He reluctantly agreed to help the aliens, feeling a strange duty to help them in their quest but still skeptical. From that day onwards, Roger was cautious but on a mission to spread awareness and help the aliens in their plan. He had discovered them, and he was determined to help them overcome the obstacles that were in their way, if what he was told was a true report of their mission. Unveiling News of Roger's encounter with the alien named Jeff spread like wildfire. People were both intrigued and skeptical, unsure of whether to believe the claims of extraterrestrial beings living among them. The media caught wind of the story, and soon, Roger found himself in the spotlight. Reporters hounded him day and night, eager for an exclusive interview. Roger, however, remained committed in his mission to help the aliens. He agreed to a few select interviews, carefully choosing those he believed would present his story in a fair and unbiased manner. One of the journalists he trusted was Sarah Thompson, an investigative reporter known for her integrity and dedication to uncovering the truth. Sarah had a reputation for digging deep into stories, and Roger believed she would be the perfect person to help him verify the aliens' mission and expose their presence. They met in a small café on a quiet street, away from the prying eyes of the media. Sarah listened intently as Roger recounted his encounter with Jeff and the aliens' assurance of their peaceful intentions. She asked probing questions, trying to understand the extent of their infiltration into human society and gradually exposing their real intentions. "Roger, do you have any proof of their existence?" Sarah asked, her pen poised over her notepad. Roger hesitated for a moment, realizing that he had nothing concrete to offer as evidence. "I don't have any physical proof, Sarah. But you have helped me see that they are here and have infiltrated high-ranking positions in politics and the economy. They are slowly gaining control, and if we don't act, I am afraid that they will succeed in their mission." Sarah furrowed her brow, deep in thought. "How can we expose them without any evidence? We need something substantial to convince the public of the danger, of the extreme risk." Roger nodded, better understanding the gravity of the situation. "I know it's a challenge, but we have to find a way. I believe there are others out there who have encountered the aliens, just like me. We need to gather their stories, their experiences, and present a united front."

  Thanks for joining me. I am reluctantly considering the conclusion that much of what I have believed for as long as I have believed anything may represent far more hope than truth. Sure, I admit to taking it for granted that things actually are the way I have always thought they are, that my reality is valid and based on the true and factual, and that my sense of what's real is correct and axiomatic. Naive? Simple-minded? Perhaps dangerous? Indeed. But nonetheless, I believed. I take some comfort in knowing that a preference for belief over thoughtful consideration didn't just start with me. The Roman philosopher Seneca observed that "Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment." It's likely that the "exercise" part of exercising judgment is the showstopper for many, if not most of us. For me at least, it has been easier to relax and believe. Let me share a story that struggles with knowing truth from opinion, fact from belief. It gets at something important, I think. 1: A Discussion of Ideas George had been retired for many years and was, by all accounts, set in his ways and beliefs. His daughters had asked him to discuss his views and outlook with them, hoping to gain a better understanding of him as a person and the experiences that had formed him. Youngsters, they argued, may not know what life was like when their father was in his prime, and they argued it was worthwhile for him to impart his wisdom. The conversation began with George sharing his thoughts on a range of topics, from money management and world politics, to hard work and the purpose of life. He had very strong opinions and was keen for his daughters to take them on board and learn from them. However, the girls didn't always agree and often challenged him, proposing their own ideas which didn't always match up with his. The discussion continued, with the subject matter becoming increasingly complex. However, one thing was becoming increasingly clear: George and his daughters were getting tangled up in trying to identify which elements of their respective beliefs and outlooks were true verses those which were not. They both seemed unable to distinguish fact from opinion and thus the conversation began to deadlock. It was at this point someone made an interesting suggestion: why not agree to a way of telling true ideas from false ones? By finding a way to distinguish between belief and fact, hope was the conversation could begin to progress. Immediately, a spark of curiosity was kindled, as it dawned on all of them that this could be a fantastic experiment. George and his daughters agreed to sit down at a later date to devise a way of identifying which ideas and notions were true and those which were not. If I may interrupt, Robert Brault got it right when he pointed out that "An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it." To my surprise and disappointment, I am starting to notice cracks if not actual holes in some of my most trusted beliefs. The cause and solution may be as simple as E D Martin suggests, "It is easier to believe than to doubt." Laziness? Indifference? Bertrand Russell says it's our inherent credulity. "Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones." Perhaps I should add gullibility to lazy and naive. The picture is not looking good. The pragmatist in me is calling out for attention. He or perhaps she is arguing that belief is not the issue. The issue is whether my unique collection of notions and ideas about how things are and how they work are serving me, furthering my interests. Admittedly, this is a rather pedestrian perspective; but if it works for me, I see little need to reason otherwise. If I may lean on Robert Brault again, "Sometimes you believe a thing that isn't true because in the world you wish to live in, it would be true.

  Thanks for joining me. I'll bet you were expecting Gary but he asked me to share a story I was sharing with him yesterday. I hope that works for you since I think this story has a message we can all take to heart. Let me just tell you the story. 1: Who Treats Who Best? Hannah was thirty-years-old and yet it felt as if she was a million miles away from her dreams and desires. She had a college degree but was stuck in a dead-end job that didn't challenge or stimulate her. She wanted more, and yet she couldn't seem to make it happen. The one relationship that did make her feel alive and hopeful was her relationship with Jeff – the man she considered to be her soulmate. They met in college, and had been together for the five years since. Hannah believed that she treated Jeff better than he treated her. She made sure to always show her love and appreciation for him, always putting his needs before her own. She was certain that Jeff knew how much she cared for him and treasured her. Jeff on the other hand, thought that he treated Hannah better than she treated him. He felt he had done everything he could to prove his love to her, but he felt like she took him for granted and did not value him the way he deserved to be valued. They each felt they had done their best in the relationship and yet it had to come to this – an argument that neither wanted to have and both wanted to avoid. Hannah believed she deserved more and Jeff felt that he was owed more. Neither of them was willing to concede and give the other what they wanted. Finally after days of arguing (intermittently, of course), they decided to take the disagreement to a trusted and impartial third-party – one who could tell them who truly treated who the best. They wanted to confirm whether the respect and appreciation that each had for the other was actually mutual, and it was up to this third-party to provide a definitive answer. 2: Seeking Clarity Hannah and Jeff sat nervously in the cozy living room of their friend, Sarah. The room was adorned with warm colors and soft lighting, creating an atmosphere of comfort and ease. Sarah, a close friend to both of them, had agreed to mediate their dispute and provide an unbiased perspective on who treated who better. As they waited for Sarah to join them, the tension in the room was palpable. Hannah fidgeted with her hands, her mind racing with doubts and insecurities. She couldn't help but wonder if she had been blind to Jeff's efforts all along. Maybe she hadn't been as attentive as she thought. Her heart ached at the thought of losing him. Jeff, on the other hand, sat with a stoic expression, his mind filled with frustration and confusion. He loved Hannah deeply, but he couldn't shake the feeling that his efforts were going unnoticed. He desperately wanted Sarah to validate his feelings and prove that he had been right all along. Finally, Sarah entered the room, her warm smile putting them at ease. She sat down across from them, her eyes filled with empathy. "Alright, let's get to the bottom of this," she said, her voice gentle yet firm. "I want both of you to tell me what you believe you bring to the relationship and what you feel is lacking from the other person." Hannah took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "I believe I bring love, support, and understanding to our relationship," she began. "I always prioritize Jeff's needs and try to make him feel cherished. But sometimes, I feel like he doesn't appreciate my efforts. I want him to show me more affection and acknowledge the little things I do for him." Jeff nodded, his eyes locked with Sarah's. "I do love Hannah, and I try my best to show it," he admitted. "But sometimes, it feels like she takes me for granted. I want her to recognize my efforts and reciprocate the love and affection I give her. I need her to make me feel valued and appreciated." Sarah listened intently, her gaze shifting between the two.

  Thanks for joining me. I thought today that I would share a short story about Zeke and his way of relating to his children and then take a closer look. I think we discover that some things don't just apply to our children. Let's hear the story and then dig in a little. Finding Balance: Zeke had been a father for years, and he felt he had done some things right, but he was starting to struggle now that his children had grown into teenagers. His friend listened intently as Zeke shared stories of his many parenting experiences. Zeke told of the times his children had pushed the boundaries and how it had mostly resulted in negative outcomes. Of course, he also shared stories of how he had attempted to address their behavior in the moment. He recalled times he had allowed natural consequences to play out, and also times when he had taken a more punitive approach. As he continued to talk, Zeke realized that most of the discipline he had used in the past had been ineffective. His friend agreed that a different approach was needed, but he wasn't sure what would be best. After considering the situation carefully, Zeke decided that a balance of rewards and consequences might be the best option. He figured that rewards would motivate the kids to cooperate with his rules, and that consequences would teach them to take responsibility for their behavior. He also hoped that by taking the time to explain the reasons behind his rules, his children would eventually come to understand why following them was important. With new strategies in mind, Zeke headed home to give the plan a try. That night, all of his children were on their best behavior and seemed much more willing to cooperate. Zeke was pleased with the outcome and knew that his new approach had been a success. From then on, Zeke swore by positive reinforcement and consequences when it came to disciplining his children and raising them to be responsible, respectful young adults. Stop to Consider It sure sounds like Zeke is Giving serious thought to his approach to being a parent. It also sounds like he has made some changes that are over-due. But let's take a closer look. His old approach had been allowing natural consequences to play out or taking a more punitive approach. That sounds like wait and see or punish to me. His new approach, rewards and consequences, does add a new element. His former “punitive approach” and the new “consequences” sound like the same approach to me, but “rewards” is new. Along with punishing his children when they take a miss-step, he now rewards them when they behave as he expects -- an over-due improvement for sure. Of course his new approach is also known as the “carrot and stick” approach. Zeke has upped his game, but not by much. Influencing the behavior of people in general and children in particular is a lot more complex and our options go far beyond carrots and sticks. Why should children pay attention to anything we say or tell them? Stop a second to think about what your first reaction was to the question. For most people, "Because I am the parent" or "Because I am the adult" or some variation on the theme comes to mind. Both of these answers are reasonable and appropriate. What I want to point out here is that there are several reasons why your children should listen to what you say. It will be helpful for you to think about and understand which reason is operating when you want your children to listen, to pay attention, to accept what you are saying to them or telling them. Your being clear about why you think they should pay attention will help them be clear about why they should pay attention this time. There is an additional payoff for you. When you are at work or in other situations where you want people to pay attention to you, being clear in your own mind about why they should pay attention will make it more likely that they will accept you and what you are saying.

  Chapter I: The Change at Work   Gus was a forty-year-old manager in a large enterprise. He had worked at the company for twelve years and had just been promoted to manager. With the new title, however, came new responsibilities and expectations. The company had recently gone through some changes, and Gus was charged with helping the employees adjust and succeed in their new roles. At first, Gus wasn't sure how to approach this. He was a task- oriented manager, and he was used to sticking to the strategies he had employed in the past. But he could see that the same methods weren't working here. He observed the team around him and noticed that they seemed to be operating in a very different style than before. The team was more empowered, and everyone was more willing to take initiative and try out new ideas. It seemed like the company had begun to trust the employees more and give them more control. That's when Gus had a revelation. Perhaps if he gave the staff more control and autonomy, while still holding them accountable for outcomes, he could achieve the best results. He was so sure of his idea that he decided to try it. He started by giving his team more ownership over their respective tasks and projects. He introduced regular meetings where everyone had a chance to report their progress and voice their ideas. He also held them accountable for their work and supported them when they faced obstacles. As the weeks went by, Gus noticed that something was beginning to change. His employees were more motivated and more productive. They were beginning to take initiative and come up with new ideas for how to move the company forward. Gus was pleased with the results of his experiment and knew that he had found a winning strategy. Chapter II: The Ripple Effect Gus was thrilled with the positive changes he had witnessed in his team since implementing his new management strategy. The increased motivation and productivity had not only benefited the employees but had also begun to have a ripple effect throughout the entire company. Word of Gus's success spread quickly, and other managers within the enterprise took notice. They were intrigued by the transformation they saw in Gus's team and wanted to learn more about his approach. The company's leadership recognized the potential impact of this new management style and decided to organize a workshop led by Gus to share his insights with other managers. The workshop, titled "Empowerment and Accountability: A New Paradigm for Success," was met with great enthusiasm. Managers from various departments gathered to hear Gus speak about his experiences and the positive outcomes he had achieved. Gus shared his journey, explaining how he had initially struggled to adapt to the changing dynamics within the company but had ultimately discovered the power of giving control to his team while holding them accountable. As Gus spoke, the room buzzed with excitement. The managers were captivated by his storytelling and eager to implement his strategies within their own teams. They recognized that the traditional top-down management approach was no longer effective in the evolving business landscape, and they were eager to embrace a new way of leading. Gus emphasized the importance of building trust and fostering open communication. He encouraged the managers to create an environment where employees felt safe to voice their opinions, share their ideas, and take ownership of their work. He stressed the significance of providing support and guidance while still holding individuals responsible for their outcomes. The workshop sparked a wave of change within the enterprise. Managers returned to their departments inspired and ready to implement Gus's strategies. They began by holding team meetings, just as Gus had done, where employees were encouraged to share their progress, challenges, and ideas. They empowered their teams by delegating more responsibilit...

Thanks for joining me.   I usually conclude episode posts with "For now, be well, do well and do something nice for someone. He or she will appreciate it and you both will have a better day."   Although this is usually true, now and then it isn't. Let's think about that today. What happens if both of you are not having a better day?   There are a lot of ways to make the point but a story will work as well as any of the others.   One:   Julio had been living in a small suburban neighborhood for the past five years. Not too long after college, he decided to settle down and start a family with Teresa, the woman he'd been in love with for more than a decade. She is a teacher and he as an accountant for a local small business. Things were going as expected until Julio got a call from his childhood friend Max who asked to stay with them for a little while.   Max told Julio that he had been looking for work and trying to make enough money to get by. He seemed desperate to get himself straightened out. Being the kind-hearted person that he was, Julio couldn't say no, and so he and Teresa let Max move in for a couple of weeks while looking for work.   At first, Max was the perfect guest. He kept his living space tidy, cooked meals for the two of them, and would even help out with some of the odd jobs around the house. However, after a few weeks and then a few months, it became clear that Max wasn't serious about finding work and had no plan to leave anytime soon. It wasn't just because he hadn't found the right job either; he seemed to be in a tailspin of despair, unable or unwilling to make any sort of progress in getting his life back on track.   Desperate for an answer, Julio approached Max about his situation. He asked his friend what was causing him so much distress, and Max said it was an inability to find hope and opportunity. He wanted to find something that would make his life worthwhile, but he just couldn't seem to find it. After hearing Max's story, Julio resolved to help him find a job and get his life together. Pause to Consider: I'll bet you have the picture. It is a lot easier to see from the outside looking in. It will take a while longer for Julio. Two:   Julio woke up early the next morning, determined to help Max find a job. He knew that finding employment was crucial for Max to regain his sense of purpose and stability. As he sipped his coffee, Julio brainstormed different avenues they could explore.   He remembered hearing about a local construction company that was hiring. Julio thought it might be a good fit for Max, given his experience with odd jobs around the house. Excited about the prospect, he quickly finished his coffee and woke Max up.   "Max, I've got an idea," Julio said, his voice filled with enthusiasm. "There's a construction company in town that's looking for workers. I think you should give it a shot."   Max groggily rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Really? You think I could do that?"   Julio nodded. "Absolutely. You've helped me with various projects around the house, and you've always been good with your hands. Plus, it's a steady job with a decent paycheck. I'll drive you there today, and we can see if they're hiring."   Max's face brightened, and a glimmer of hope shone in his eyes. "Thank you, Julio. I appreciate your support."   They quickly got ready and hopped into Julio's car. As they drove to the construction company, Julio couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement for his friend. He knew that this opportunity could be the turning point Max needed.   Upon arriving, they walked into the bustling office. Julio approached the receptionist and inquired about job openings. She directed them to the hiring manager, Mr. Thompson, who was known for his no-nonsense approach.   Mr. Thompson, a middle-aged man with a stern expression, listened attentively as Julio explained Max's situation.

Thanks for joining me.   In this episode, my associates and I are focusing on friendship. We hope the thoughts and ideas we share serve you well as you consider your friendships and whether they satisfy you along with satisfying your friends.   Let's start by considering the role of self-awareness in making and keeping friends.   Let me kick things off by asking,   "Why is it important for friends to be self-aware?"   Self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence, and emotional intelligence is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships. When friends are self-aware, they are better able to understand their own feelings and behaviors, which can help them communicate more effectively with each other and can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. Self-awareness also enables friends to be more empathetic and understanding towards each other, which is vital for developing strong and long-lasting friendships. Overall, friends who are self-aware are better equipped to navigate the complexities of human relationships and are more likely to be supportive and caring towards one another.   What happens when friends are not self-aware?   When friends are not self-aware, it can lead to a number of issues in their relationship. For example, they may have difficulty understanding their own emotions and behaviors, making it harder for them to communicate effectively with each other. They may also struggle to see things from each other's perspective, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. In some cases, friends who are not self-aware may be insensitive to each other's needs and feelings, straining their relationship and even leading to the breakdown of the friendship.   Additionally, they may struggle with personal growth and development. Without a clear understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses, they may have difficulty setting and achieving goals, impacting their overall happiness and success in life.   While it's possible for friends who are not self-aware to have a good relationship, the lack of self-awareness can make it more challenging and lead to a range of issues that may negatively impact the friendship. So how can friends become more self-aware?   Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment in a non-judgmental way. It can help friends become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.   Engage in self-reflection: Friends can set aside time to reflect on their emotions and behaviors. This can involve journaling, meditating, or simply taking a walk and thinking about how they're feeling.   Seek feedback from others: Friends can ask each other for honest feedback on their strengths and weaknesses. This can help them develop a more accurate understanding of themselves.   Read self-help books: There are many books and resources available that can help friends develop self-awareness. For example, the book "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves can help friends learn how to improve their emotional intelligence.   Consider seeking professional help: If friends are struggling with their relationship, they may benefit from seeing a therapist or counselor who can help them develop more accurate self-awareness.   Developing self-awareness and strengthening friendships are continuous processes that require conscious effort and practice. Friends who make an effort to become more self-aware can strengthen their relationship and become more supportive and respectful toward each other.   Ok, I get that self-awareness is important, especially when I'm spending time with my good friend. But are there things I can specifically focus on or steps I can take to keep things on a more even keel?   before you invest a lot of time and energy in ramping up your personal friendship quotient, you may want to consider whether the other person re...

Thanks for joining me.   I'm having a bad day. I know that you are likely not interested but a bad day it is. It's time for my podcast and I don't think I'm up to it. Can you relate?   What's your notion of a bad day?   I'm not thinking here about big events that foretell major or lasting consequences. Rather I am thinking about those little annoyances and inconveniences that disrupt our otherwise comfortable and more or less predictable days.   You know the kinds of things I am talking about: not being able to find your car keys, dropping your iPhone and cracking the screen, dripping coffee on your clean shirt, getting a phone call that you have to take just as you are leaving the house when you're already running ten minutes late, remembering as you head out for lunch that you were supposed to be at the dentist two hours ago, realizing that you still haven't started that report your boss needs this afternoon and you had planned to finish yesterday.   It just so happens that I am having one of those bad days. My first discovery is that a bad day for me is always personal. By that I mean that like beauty, bad days are in the eyes of the beholder. I think the key is that a bad day gets us off our game. What gets me off my game might not bother you one way or the other. Conversely, what gets you off your game may be something I would just take in stride. As I said, bad days are always personal.   The next thing I have realized is that no one cares about my bad day.   Sure, I can tell someone about it and he or she might even have a little sympathy but not much. It's not his or her bad day and after a small dose of sympathy, I will quickly figure out that I'll just have to suck it up and move on.   My particular bad day started this morning. It was time to work on my podcast and I realized that I didn't have anything to say. Normally not having anything to say is no reason for a bad day unless you are supposed to be podcasting, unless your significant other says, “We need to talk,” unless you are ten-years-old and your teacher asks you why you didn't do your homework, or perhaps unless your boss wants to know why the report you intended to write yesterday isn't on her desk this afternoon. Back to my podcast and not having anything to say.   I admit it. I am hoping for an inspiration. I know that's a little like hoping that the coffee stain on my shirt will suddenly disappear or or that the crack in my iPhone screen will magically repair itself. Maybe Teacher will just smile and tell you that you are really smart so for you, homework is optional or perhaps your boss will just chuckle and say, “No problem. When I asked for the report, I was only making a suggestion.”   As for that inspiration I am hoping for, Frank Tibolt said, “We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” This kind of sounds like that getting the cart before the horse thing.   I guess my personal bad day is likely to stay inspiration free so action is my only viable course. The situation calls for action, for doing something instead of just staring at the microphone, waiting for that inspiration. Alfred Adler said, “Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words.” If the point is not sinking in as I sit and stare, I need to remember what Arnold Glasow had to say about this inspiration thing. “An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied.”   I may be experiencing a small flicker of motivation, especially given how small a single brain cell probably is. The key now is to see if I can convert that bit of motivation into a modicum of action. I do have a tendency to think that only the great and glorious are worth doing so must latch onto Peter Marshall's perspective. He said, “Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.”  

Thanks for joining me.   In this episode, I will be sharing some thoughts and ideas about being a successful parent. At the heart of it, Parenting, like other interpersonal responsibilities, starts with self-awareness. Yes, it is important to focus on our children but it is equally important to focus on us. How we relate, behave and interact with our children is the essence of parenting and how successful we are as parents.   I have asked a few of my associates to join me to share their perspectives on being parents and the role of self-awareness.   So, let's get started by asking,   Why is self-awareness important for parents?   Self-awareness is important for parents because it helps them understand their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which in turn helps them better understand and respond to their children's needs. When parents are self-aware, they are able to regulate their own emotions and behavior, creating a more positive and supportive environment for their children. Additionally, self-awareness allows parents to recognize and acknowledge their own weaknesses and limitations, which can help them seek out resources and support when needed. By being self-aware, parents model healthy coping skills and emotional regulation for their children, in turn promoting their children's own emotional intelligence and resilience.   But what happens if parents are not self-aware?   If parents are not self-aware, it can have negative consequences for both themselves and their children.   For example, if a parent is not aware of their own emotional triggers or patterns of behavior, they may react in ways that are harmful or damaging to their child, such as yelling, hitting, or saying hurtful things. This can not only harm the child's emotional well-being, but also damage the parent-child relationship over time.   Additionally, parents who lack self-awareness may struggle with understanding and meeting their child's needs, leading to feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction for both the parent and the child. They may also struggle with setting appropriate boundaries or providing consistent discipline, which can lead to confusion and insecurity for their children.   Finally, if parents are not self-aware, they may not seek out support or resources when they need them, leading to feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. This can impact their ability to be present and engaged with their children, which can negatively impact their overall well-being and development.   Ok, I understand that self-awareness matters. But how does this play out within the family? Your child is special, a unique individual, the only one of him (or her) there will ever be. If you do not embrace this simple truth with reverence and enthusiasm, your child will know and will never completely get over it.   He or she began life's journey with boundless potential but also with limitations. With your help, your child can be extraordinarily successful. Still, there are mountains he can never climb, rivers he can never cross, races he can never run. He comes to you on an "as is" basis. He can only be who he is, can only become the best him there ever was or ever will be.   Hello world, it's your child!   Your journey into your child's future is exciting and challenging, rewarding and disappointing, filled with pleasure and pain for you and for him. At the same time, it is the most important adventure you will ever experience. Your successful excursion into your child's tomorrow begins with your assurance he grows up in a loving home.   Leo Tolstoy said, "All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."   Buddha said, "A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another, the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it's like a storm t...

Thanks for joining me. My podcasting friends and I could not get together in-person so they just uploaded their clips for me to include in this episode. The downside is that I do not have text versions of their clips to share. Please enjoy the audio podcast; and I hope you don't miss the text too much.

Thanks for joining me. For this episode, I have invited a few of my associates to share their perspectives on leadership.   of course, I have included the leader's perspective but have also asked for input from the follower's perspective. I think we too often limit our thoughts about leadership to the leader and leave the followers somewhere in the background. Here, I hope to bring the followers out so they can share what good leadership means from where they are in the leadership equation.   Let's start by asking,   Why is self-awareness important for leaders?   Self-awareness is important for leaders because it allows them to understand their own strengths, weaknesses, values, and biases. This knowledge helps leaders to better understand how they are perceived by others, which in turn allows them to interact more effectively with their team members and make better decisions. With self-awareness, leaders are able to recognize their limitations and seek help or delegate responsibilities to others who may be better suited for certain tasks. Additionally, self-awareness allows leaders to regulate their emotions and behaviors, leading to improved communication, more effective problem-solving, and greater emotional intelligence overall. Therefore, self-awareness is a key component of successful leadership.   But what happens if the leader is not self-aware?   If a leader is not self-aware, they may not fully understand their own strengths, weaknesses, biases, or the impact they have on others. This lack of awareness can make it difficult to communicate effectively with team members, make sound decisions, or empathize with others. Without self-awareness, a leader may be perceived as arrogant, insensitive, or even abusive, and this can create a toxic work environment that can negatively impact productivity, morale, and employee retention.   In addition, a leader who lacks self-awareness may also struggle to learn from their mistakes or recognize when they need to make changes to their leadership style. This can lead to a lack of growth or development in both the leader and their team, which can ultimately limit success and result in missed opportunities.   Overall, self-awareness is crucial for effective leadership and without it, a leader may struggle to build strong relationships, make informed decisions, and achieve their full potential as a leader.   Now, let's shift to the follower perspective. If you are serious about wanting our relationship to work well for both of us:   Help me get what I want and need, help me succeed.   Assume I am trying to do well, trying to succeed.   Do not assume you are a better judge of how things are for me than I am.   Do not use yourself as the standard for how I should think, feel, or behave.   Hold me responsible only for what I can actually do and can control.   Value who I am, my style and personality.   Assume I believe what I say and do not intentionally misrepresent anything.   Respect my feelings and opinions.   Be sensitive to my motivations and interests.   Give me the benefit of the doubt when things are not clear or certain.   If you value me and our relationship:   Make time for me.   Accept me as is without trying to change me.   Respect my ideas and opinions.   If you want me to be comfortable with you and with our relationship:   Be someone I can depend on.   Do not expect me to think, feel and behave just like you.   Spend more time telling me what you think I am doing right than what you think I am doing wrong.   Do not take your problems and bad mood out on me.   If you want me to cooperate with you:   Help me understand your goals and motivations.   Give me reasons and explanations when I ask for them.   Let me try to help solve your problems instead of expecting me to accept your solutions.  

Gary: Thanks for joining me. Let's suppose that we are screening someone for an important role. It could be anything from fixing our computer to becoming a regular date. What all do we take into consideration? Sure, there are many factors that may be important but two stand out. Let's explore can and did. It was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who said, "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." Although Longfellow's pronouncement has superficial plausibility, it's merely an example of polar logic. One pole is what you feel capable of doing and the other is what you have already done. The judgment reduces to can and did. You judge yourself based on “can” and others judge you based on “did” according to Longfellow. The reality is that such judgments rarely reduce to either can ... or ... did, for you or for others who judge you. Let's look first at can. If this is a judgment you make about yourself, is it reasonable to make it without considering “did?” Relying exclusively on what you think you can do, without considering what you have done, places no value on prior experience. It also acknowledges an inability to learn. Alternatively, if you consider did to the exclusion of can, your behavior is simply repetitive; and you will need to take Albert Einstein's observation to heart, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Look next at “did.” If others are expecting change, improvement, innovation, or new approaches and strategies, you aren't the person they need. They can only expect you to do again what you did before. Unless “can” is considered, nothing new or different ever happens. The conclusion is that can ... and ... did aren't separable. They are the head and tail of the coin of progress. Marc: Hey Gary, May I take a shot at this to see if I'm getting your point? Gary: Sure, have at it. Marc: Ok, here I go. How then should one approach success? What is the best strategy for blending did and can? Arthur Schopenhauer pointed out, “a man can do as he will, but not will as he will.” The message is that you can't simply “will” things to happen. You have a wide range of options for doing but no magical powers. Alexander Graham Bell said, “The most successful men in the end are those whose success is the result of steady accretion … It is the man who carefully advances step by step, with his mind becoming wider and wider - and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation, persevering in what he knows to be practical, and concentrating his thought upon it, who is bound to succeed in the greatest degree.” Gary: You make a strong point. It really is true that the best clue to how well any of us will do with anything we undertake is how we have dealt with things in the past. As someone wise once said, “Success begets success.” The basis for judging ourselves or anyone else is now clearer. You and those who judge you focus on both did and can. Success is a blending of the two sides of the coin; and if your goal is to get a thumbs-up from you and from others, you need to get high marks on this short quiz. – Good luck! Marc: Let me play teacher and ask the questions. Gary: You have the microphone. Marc: Are you carefully advancing, step by step? Is your mind becoming wider and wider? Are you persevering in what you know to be practical? Are you concentrating on succeeding? Gary: You may have missed your calling. Let's move on. It's simply a variation on the old story, “Nothing succeeds like success.” As we imagine our future successes, this is just a warning to take care to be sure that the view behind us is as exemplary as we hope the view forward will be. Susan: If I can also join in, let me share a perspective that may at first seem to have nothing to do with can and did. On the surface, it doesn't.

(Note) Some wise author once pointed out that writing is a joint enterprise: the writer tries hard to be as clear as possible and the reader tries equally hard to understand. If that sounds like too much effort right now, you may want to just skip these five bloggers. They are a bit less than transparent. Blogger One: As an impressionable undergraduate at Ohio University, there were dozens if not hundreds of potential areas of study for me to sample. Here is where I add something like, “They ranged from architecture to zoology” or even better, “from A to Z.” Let me also add a little personal data by noting I dipped into all that intellectual plenty and pulled the philosopher card. Doctor, lawyer, merchant, chief and with virtually no hesitation, I picked philosopher. A very natural and logical choice, don't you think? There I was, eighteen-years-old and speculating about how many angels can fit on the head of a pin. Ok, that's much more not true than true. I was an eighteen-year-old college student. What do you think I was doing? Do you have a notion, a picture in your mind's eye? I was mostly doing that but I did do philosophy some too. I recall telling old people (everyone too old to be an eighteen-year-old college student) I was majoring in philosophy. I got reactions from “That's nice,” to “Why?” The “Why?” reactions eventually got me to thinking but that is a story for another post. No, I was not thinking much one way or the other right then. I was practicing being a philosopher. Thinking could wait. With my friends (mostly other eighteen-year-old college students) I tried not to mention anything about majors or philosophy. If I slipped, they usually didn't say anything. They mostly snickered and nodded their heads. Eye rolling was not big at O.U. back then. They did tend to perk up some when I mentioned being into logic, e.g., All men are mortal; Plato was a man; therefore…. “Would you have time to help me with…?” It was like suddenly being labeled as a geek of sorts, all be it a potentially useful geek. It tended to interfere with my plans for the rest of the time when I was not practicing being a philosopher. On those rare occasions when I did attempt conversation incorporating a few of the more esoteric philosophical concepts and notions, “bore” seemed to characterize how I and my contributions to the discussion were perceived. I think that precipitated a life-long fear of being boring and generally uninteresting. It's like that one youthful experience eventuating in unacknowledged trauma and periodic immobility. Ok, it wasn't actually that bad but it certainly was the pits. Being boring was to be avoided whenever possible. Now fast forward. I recently came across this from John Updike, “One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore... and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.” What do you think the chances are of an eighteen-year-old college student who is rarely but still occasionally boring progressing for a few decades without becoming one of Updike's healthy male adult bores? Does slim to none ring any bells? It gets worse. Someone who was probably so boring no one remembers his name pointed out, “The worst thing about a bore is not that he won't stop talking, but that he won't let you stop listening.” We have come full circle. An eighteen-year-old college student naively pulls the philosopher card and inadvertently sets himself on a path to becoming a healthy male adult bore people duck away from to escape the storm of esoteric gibberish. Fortunately, this post has been mostly speculative, at least I hope it has, especially the part about people ducking away. Even so, there may be a lesson in there about social reciprocity and the ever-present risk of exposing the bore in all of us. Let me leave the analysis of that possibility to those who also pulled the philosopher card in their youth. For now,

Let's Do a Book+1   As I concluded +0, I shared the first directive for doing a book: “I'm hoping that you can see that writing a book is near the last step in the construction process. Before that, we need to figure out what we want constructing the book to do for us. Is that benefit worth the hours, weeks, months and possibly years that constructing the final book will take? If not, there is no point in starting. But if it is, there are few better ways to indulge ourselves over time.”   Since you are here, I'm assuming that doing your book is definitely worth the time and effort it will take. Our next step is to put that net around it that I also mentioned in +0. At this stage though, casting the net is necessary but not critical. We just need to be fairly sure we are casting it wide enough to capture everything we may want to incorporate into our book and narrowly enough to exclude most of what we don't want. We can adjust the border as the process continues, but for now, let's cast our nets.   This may be the first big red flag for you. It's where we turn down our egos and enthusiasm. Whether your book will be fiction or non-fiction, closely following reality or totally made up, for other scholars or for two-year-olds, it will include details and assertions that must stand up to criticism by experts. It's not good enough to be nearly correct or to not reference well known alternative perspectives or opinions. Just as good teachers should know as much or more than their students, good authors should usually know as much or more than their readers. For example, if you are going to mention a particular place, event, theory or set of facts or characteristics, you need to get it right. Fall short here and you start losing readers who will certainly pass it along to potential readers.   Do you have to be expert on every detail? Of course not. But you do have to get everything you mention or discuss correct. No factual mistakes, please.   Do you have to know everything about anything that comes up in your book? Of course not. But you do have to get the details about anything you write about correct. No contextual errors, please.   “Are you saying that I have to carefully research everything I'm going to include in my book?”   I am indeed saying just that. Do your research. And do it before you start constructing your book, definitely do your research before you think about how your book will be organized. The structure and content of your book comes from your research. It is not something you impose on your research. You may have a story or theme in mind, but its structure and content should emerge from your research. Let's Get Our Research Underway   Here there is good news and bad news. Just to be up-front with you, I don't know much of anything about the elite authors who write a book or two or three every year and who seem to have endless knowledge about most anything and everything. It is indeed impressive.   Although I don't know this for sure, I'm pretty sure that they have people. Their people do their research, fill-in the facts and details, or at least fact check everything for the author.   If you have people, sit down with them for an hour or so, giving them a general idea about your book, and then set them to work. They can produce a reference database for you; and if something is missing while you do your book, they can pop out and fill in the missing detail or information – easy-peasy.   No people? Me neither. We will just have to do our research ourselves.   There are many approaches to researching for a book. Even so, the core idea is always the same. We want to learn as much as possible about what goes into our book and, just as important, as much as we can about those who will consume what we produce. Having said that, we really do need to put a net around it. We can never know everything about anything.

Let's Do a Book+0   In the title, we see the first error many people make when they set out to have a book with their name on the cover. They say they are going to write a book. I suppose there are those creative folks who actually can open their computers and just start typing. The first thing you know, they have written a book. The finished book seems to have simply flowed out of them.   I admit it. I'm pretty jealous. It would definitely be cool to just open the creative hose and out comes a book. But here's the truth of it. I don't think there are any people who can do that. Here's why.   A book is not a spontaneous creation. Having produced a dozen or so fairly successful books, I have come to understand that a book is not a creation, it's a construction. I doubt that it matters what kind of book it is or for whom the book is intended. Books are much more constructed than written.   Sure, the words, sentences and paragraphs need to be written. There is no good alternative unless you can get a really smart computer to do the tedious job of writing for you. Some folks hire a ghost writer to produce the words, sentences and paragraphs for them, but that does seem a bit like cheating. For us, outsourcing writing to a computer or ghost will not do. We will make those words, sentences and paragraphs appear on our computer screens all by ourselves. – OK, if you really need to do this with a pencil on paper, go for it. Just know that, at some point, it will all have to be neatly typed and double spaced.   But I am getting way ahead of myself. Not only have I skipped over the construction part, I haven't even mentioned the hardest part of doing a book. Before I can do a book, I have to figure out what I want the book to do. And it gets more specific. I need to figure out what I want the book to do for me. Naturally it will be good if thousands of people want to read the book and all feel better off in some way for having spent the time and energy it takes to consume a book. That's all well and good, but if doing the book is not doing something of value for me, I'm not likely to sustain the construction process through to the finished book. Even if I do, the finished book is not very likely to do much for anyone else.   Let's draw an analogy. You are an artist painting a picture or a musician creating a country song. If you don't find satisfaction in the process, how likely are you to stick with it? If you don't feel good about your final product, how likely is that others will engage with it? If you don't think it's awesome, I probably won't either. Yes, you may think it's awesome and I think it's trash, but the first opinion is yours and always counts the most.   So what do you want your book to do for you? You want it to make you rich and famous? You can probably only get away with that if you are already rich and famous. And if you are, you have a far higher standard for releasing your next book to the public. Alternatively, if you only want to have your name on the cover so you can tell your friends that you are an author, don't bother constructing a book. Just write down everything you do or think about for the next few months and then get your local print shop to bind it with a nice cover featuring your name. There you go. You are an author. What Will Doing a Book Do for Me?   I'm assuming that you are not an employee or contractor. I'm also assuming that you are not doing a book for hire. In either of those situations, most of the parameters change. You may or may not enjoy the work, but what constructing the book does or does not do for you is secondary. What it does for the person or organization paying the bill is primary. Unless you have carte blanch to do as pleases you, you are constructing someone else's book. I know little to nothing about that kind of work. My focus is only on you constructing your book, on your terms with no external constraints.  

Blogger One: An old Chinese proverb says, “Talk doesn't cook rice.” I suspect it is equally true quoting old Chinese proverbs doesn't cook much rice either. As I consider strategies for initiating my blog, along with noting activities that do not cook rice, I'm thinking also noting those that do not lead to a successful blog would be helpful. Once I know all of the don'ts, what's left are on the to do list. Here we go with the don't list for blogging. 1. Don't sit and stare. Doing most anything else is an improvement over just gazing into empty space. Of course, I claim to be intensely thinking and it may be true, at least a little. Even so, writing is key and although I can think without seriously thinking, think without writing and write without thinking, to write without writing is pretty much impossible or at least beyond my scope for sure. 2. I don't need another cup of coffee. I know it would feel good to stretch and stroll out to the coffee pot and back. A nice cup of hot coffee might even perk me up. I could use the time to consider more fully what I want to say and the jolt of caffeine might stimulate a new insight or something. No, no coffee, no stroll into the other room, no more avoiding getting down to the business at hand. 3. I don't have any more excuses. I'm far enough into it to get down to it if I am up to it. Ok, I'm getting around to it and know it's time to either do it or screw it. The deal goes like this. I'll never make a post if all I do is boast about the blog I'm planning to write. It's indeed a little crazy but either I'm lazy or afraid of being absolutely trite. That's a pretty pathetic verse and sure it can get worse but I don't feel even a little contrite. My blog is underway and I have a post for today so I can get that coffee and stare with no further fear of being impolite. Blogger Two: Starting a post with a quotation or some other wise saying seems to help break the ice or since I am into clichés, it more likely is merely priming the creativity pump. Either way, a quote from Sylvia Plath struck me as useful for my present purpose, “And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” Before using the quote, I thought a refresher on Sylvia Plath might add to the pump priming so in came Wikipedia to fill the need. Just search for Ms. Plath to find her life story or at least the Wikipedia version of her life story. The story is too intense and far too sad to tell here but think Fulbright scholarship, Pulitzer Prize for poetry, novelist, poet, controversial writer, and getting her own stamp from the Post Office. If she said it (and she did) it's true enough for me, “…everything in life is writable about….” This certainly opens a world of possibilities and opportunities. Now all that is needed are, “…the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.” There you go, guts and imagination. That does reduce the challenge to rather simple terms. It surely helps to be brilliant and gifted as a serendipitous bonus but guts and imagination may be doable for most of us even if Pulitzer Prizes and our own stamp are not in the cards. We need only keep self-doubt arrested and far off our creative path. Writing for the ages like Shakespeare or being as clever as Ogden Nash, Would pretty well guarantee the conversion of your writing to cash. But if guts and imagination are mostly what you're about, Remember the words of Sylvia Plath as you keep all self-doubt out. Blogger Three: Don't you get a little suspicious when a reporter attributes a fact or other information to a “reliable source” or to “an official” who didn't want his or her name used? It's kind of the same thing when an author uses some insight or clever saying and then attributes it to “author unknown” or perhaps “anonymous.” I suppose giving credit to B.

It was quiet over the city earlier today but then she magically re-appeared. For many years, the uncertain threat from the great mouse and creatures like her has hung in the air as an ever-present disaster in waiting. Although the nagging fear is always just under the surface, there continues an underlying sense of awe and wonder. The great mouse is both villain and hero in this persisting drama. The risk to the city and its citizens has progressed to where there is a standing team of elite hunters equipped with state-of-the-art tracking systems and combat capacity dedicated to the pursuit and capture of the great mouse, with termination authority if necessary. These elite hunters have tracked and engaged the creature over the globe and in places as disparate as jungles and subways, county fairs and stark deserts. despite their expertise and tenacity, the great mouse always avoids capture or injury, leaving the elite hunters frustrated and confused. Her villain status is easy to understand but the concurrent hero status of the great mouse is less obvious. As powerful and terrifying as she is and as violent as the encounters are, there has never been an injury to a citizen or elite hunter, and once the smoke clears, there is never any detectable damage to property or to the environment. An encounter with the great mouse is like a horror movie where once the movie is over, everyone just goes home. It's as if nothing important ever happened - scary but without consequences. Despite the relentless pursuit, the great mouse has become somewhat of a legend in the city. People quietly talk about her adventures and the elite team's failed attempts to capture her. She is like a ghost, always disappearing just as the trap closes. And the heigh-stakes cat and mouse game continues with no end in sight. It has been less than an hour ago that the great mouse appeared again, standing triumphantly on a wire high above the city. She looked down at the citizens with a mischievous twinkle in her eye and then vanished into thin air, with the echo of her roar the only evidence of her ever having been here. The elite hunters have spent years trying to capture the elusive great mouse, but all of their efforts so far have been in vain. The hunters have become more and more frustrated as time passes. They are starting to believe that the great mouse is unbeatable. They have tried every weapon, trick and strategy in their arsenal but nothing seemed to work. As if to rub their noses in their ineffectiveness, some time back, the great mouse appeared out of nowhere, standing right in front of the team. She looked at them with that amused grin, and then just disappeared into the distance, leaving them shocked and baffled. Since that humiliating day, The elite hunters have been more determined than ever to stop the great mouse. They have spent many sleepless nights discussing and strategizing, trying to come up with new ways to thwart her. Now and then, the elite hunters are dispatched to capture her. But no matter what they try, the great mouse eludes them, always staying one step ahead. She seems to possess some kind of otherworldly intelligence, capable of sensing danger from miles away. And yet, she never causes any harm to the citizens, choosing instead to play cat and mouse with the hunters. One day, while the team was out scouting a new area for potential traps, they stumbled upon a forest. It was a dark, foreboding place, with trees so tall they seemed to touch the sky. As they pushed their way through the undergrowth, they noticed something moving in the distance. And to their surprise, it was the great mouse. She was crouched at the base of a tree, watching them. But this time, the amused grin was missing. They immediately sprang into action, surrounding the great mouse. But the great mouse seemed unfazed. She snarled and growled, baring her teeth and showing off her incredible strength. As they watched,

Should or May   As a blind person, I am told that I should be an advocate for other blind people and for accessible services and technology. What are the pros and cons of this position? As an advocate for other blind people and for accessible services and technology, there are both pros and cons to consider.   Pros: - You can be a voice for the blind community and raise awareness about their needs, rights and issues they face - You can work towards creating a more inclusive and accessible environment for blind people - You can help shape policies and regulations by advocating to lawmakers and government officials - You can build a sense of community and support among blind individuals and their families   Cons: - Advocacy work can be time-consuming and emotionally draining, and may require significant effort to see visible results - You may face opposition or criticism from people who don't understand or value the importance of accessible services and technology for blind people - Depending on the scale of your advocacy work, there may be legal and financial implications that you need to consider - Being a public advocate can also bring unwanted attention and scrutiny to your personal life.   Ultimately, being an advocate for other blind people and for accessible services and technology can be a rewarding and impactful way to make a difference in the world. However, it's important to carefully consider both the benefits and challenges before taking on the role. Should I advocate for blindness issues just because I am a blind person. Is it a responsibility or a choice? Advocating for blindness issues as a blind person is a personal choice rather than a responsibility. While it's true that blind individuals face unique challenges and often have valuable insights and perspectives to share, not all blind people may feel inclined or equipped to engage in advocacy work.   That being said, being an advocate for blindness issues can be a way to advance the cause of accessibility and inclusion for yourself and other blind people. It can also be a way to build a sense of community and support among blind individuals and their families.   Ultimately, whether or not you choose to advocate for blindness issues is up to you. If you do decide to engage in advocacy work, it's important to approach it in a way that feels meaningful and sustainable for you, whether that's through direct action, community building, policy work, or other means. If I choose to advocate, what are the 10 most important points I should be making. As an advocate for blindness issues, here are ten important points to consider making:   Accessible education: Blind individuals should have equal access to education and be provided with the necessary accommodations to succeed academically.   Employment: Blind individuals should have equal opportunities to work, and workplaces should be made accessible to people of all abilities.   Accessibility: Blind individuals should be able to access essential services and technologies, such as transportation, communication, and information, in an accessible and equitable way.   Inclusion: Blind individuals should be included in all aspects of society and should not face discrimination or exclusion based on their disability.   Training and skills development: Blind individuals should have opportunities to gain skills and training to overcome barriers they face in the workplace, in education, and in their personal lives.   Research and innovation: There should be ongoing research and innovation to improve the quality of life for blind individuals, including advancements in technology and accessibility.   Advocacy and representation: Blind individuals and their families should have access to advocacy and representation to ensure that their rights and needs are addressed at all levels of society.  

Hey folks, I'm Harlin and am going to tell you a story. Some say that I made it all up but I'm telling you that it's all true. You can believe it or not, but I'm sticking with it. I'm just a country boy who happened into a situation. I don't doubt it a bit that you would have handled things as well or probably better than I did, but there I was and someone had to do something. It's just like my grandpa told me every chance I got, "When the going gets rough, you have do do what you have to do." So I did. Let me tell you what happened and then you can decide for yourself. Did it really happen or am I just full of it? I have lived down a one lane road off the highway all my life. It's pretty much what you might expect. An old farm house where my grandpa was a boy and my folks and four brothers called home. I won't go on about that since that's not the story I am telling you. Even so, home is a place where you can get some good air and raise some hell now and then. If you know, you know and if not, I sure don't have time to educate you about being a country boy. I'll just leave it at that. I still don't know what got into me but one Tuesday morning I got it in my head that I needed to pack up and take the train to the big city to find out what that was all about. So That's what I did and there's where this story starts. As I stepped off the train, I found the surrounded by towering skyscrapers and honking cars. The noise and frenetic pace of the city were overwhelming at first, but eventually, I grew accustomed to it. The city was alive, filled with a cacophony of sounds: cars, buses, and taxis honking their horns, people chattering away in different languages, construction sites, and street performances. The sights were equally intoxicating: towering buildings with neon lights, busy markets full of people pushing their way through the crowds, and street food stands with their vibrant colors and irresistible smells. I started my day by wandering through the busy streets, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. I marveled at the department stores with their gleaming windows and the street performers who captivated crowds with their performances. I saw huge billboards advertising everything from cars to clothes to the latest gadgets. As I continued my exploration, I passed through different neighborhoods, each with its unique vibe and personality. I saw people from all walks of life, each with their own story to tell. I heard different languages being spoken and ate food from different cultures. As the sun started to set, I realized that I had never felt so alive. The city had awakened something inside me, and I knew I wasn't ready to leave just yet. So instead, I found a small apartment to rent for a few weeks and continued my exploration of the city. For the next few weeks, I continued discovering new things, meeting new people, and learning about different cultures. I ate at Michelin-starred restaurants and tiny street food stalls. I visited museums, galleries, and music festivals. I even tried my hand at salsa dancing, something I had never done before. Eventually, my time in the city came to an end, But just as I was preparing to go home, I noticed some odd happenings in the last neighborhood I visited. I did not understand their significance but knew I should stick around to better understand this unusual activity. I had noticed something strange happening in the last neighborhood I visited. People were whispering in hushed tones, and the normally bustling streets were eerily quiet. I tried to ask around to understand what was happening, but no one seemed willing to talk. Curiosity gnawed at me, and I knew I couldn't leave until I figured out what was going on. After asking around, I stumbled upon a small store with a handwritten sign that read "Open for business." Curiosity piqued, I entered the store and was surprised to see people huddled in corners or gathered around a small radi...

Thanks for joining me.   When was the last time you had to make an important decision? For most of us, it doesn't come up very often. We make a lot of decisions and choices; but for the most part, they are not special or overly consequential for us personally. We have the knowledge, experience, expertise and tested judgment to make the decision or choice. They are well within our wheelhouse.   At times though, we have to just take a deep breath and decide, make the hard choice. Those are the choices and decisions I want to focus on. Those are the times when failure is most consequential and success is most important. I'm talking about change, but this time we are the agent behind the change.   I think we all know that things are constantly changing, whether or not we are paying attention to the changes. It may seem that everything is the same today as they were yesterday, but they aren't. Even if we don't notice, nothing is quite the same today as it was yesterday. Things change, people change, circumstances change, and we change too.   What this fact of life and living demonstrates is that change is a process and not an event. The outcome may appear to be spontaneous but never is. Fortunately, we can usually understand what happened if we stop to consider it carefully. Even if we don't understand, we know that the change was a result of a process that is just not clear to us.   At times, we decide that we are not satisfied with the status quo and want things or circumstances to change. The change we want may be for us, our family, a specific relationship, our work team, our company or other organization, our community, or within any context where we think change is desirable or necessary. That is when we consider initiating the change process.   We know we don't like how things currently are, and we have a notion about how we would like them to be. Getting from where things are now to how we want them to be is an example of the change process that is always chugging away. For this change though, we intend to be the change agent.   Whenever you intend to be the change agent, there are twelve questions you should ask and answer before initiating the change process that leads to the change you want; and the bigger or more important the change is for you and for others, the more critical it is for you to ask and answer the twelve questions. Here are the twelve questions. Answer each “Yes,” or “No,” in relation to the change process you intend to initiate. For these questions, “yes” is only “Yes” if you are quite sure. If not, the answer is “NO,” until you are sure.   Do you expect the change process to succeed, to make a positive difference?   Do you have a realistic vision of or perception of success – how things will be when the change succeeds?   Are you personally motivated by the likely payoff or outcome of the change?   Do you understand that – in the long run – it would take as much time and energy to maintain the status quo or current situation as it will to get the payoff from the change?   Are you prepared to take full responsibility for your participation and interaction throughout the change process?   Do you understand your active role and influence in the change process?   Do you understand and are you committed to what will be required for the process to succeed?   Are you confident in your ability to do what is necessary to realize the expected change?   Are you comfortable working with the others involved in the change process?   Are you looking beyond simple self-interest in the change succeeding?   Do you see each participant benefiting from his or her participation in the change process?   Are you being realistic about your ability, skill, and capacity to function effectively within the change process?   Did you answer “Yes” to each of the twelve questions?

Too often we focus on being sure we are doing things right before making sure we are doing the right things. Too often we focus on solving a problem before figuring out why there is a problem to solve. Sure, we also occasionally get the cart before the horse. I'll bet you get the idea. Here are three tips to help us avoid these amateur pitfalls. Of course, there are also three very cool ear worms to give time to ponder the tips.

Be well, do well and peace and joy for you.

What can be said about Christmas? As it turns out, quite a lot.

Relax and enjoy.

The three tips here work as a set. I'll leave it to you to figure out how that works. The three ear worms are not a set but are pretty compelling.

Making resolutions is a pastime in which we can all indulge but committing to our resolutions is only for the few of us who are serious about being the best we can be. This level of commitment starts with understanding that each of us is a leader and a role model for others. Yes, each of us. The issue is not whether we are leaders and role models. We are. The issue is whether we recognize our responsibility and commit to being the best we can be with everyone, whenever and wherever we engage with other people. -- Are we the example they should be following? Here are my twenty resolutions to be the best I can be with other people. Whether you choose to join me in any or none of the resolutions is your call. I am only letting you know that I think they will serve me well and am comfortable with having you hold me accountable for following through on each resolution.

The decisions we make are usually pretty clear but often our sources and reasons are less clear and not particularly obvious to either us or to others. We usually can come up with an explanation but that explanation is frequently post-action. So what's happening? I'm not sure but here are three tips that seem to me to be related. The ear worms are hear to give us time to ponder the "Why" of it.

The pursuit of Personal Excellence is a lifetime journey and never merely an event. What's more, it's a journey that many start but only a few sustain. For those few, it seems easy and natural, something that requires little effort. But neither does it just come naturally nor without intense focus and consentration. Personal Excellence is nothing short of a nonnegotiable commitment to doing the right things right, with everyone, every time, everywhere -- no exceptions, no excuses. Here you have the opportunity to both listen to Pursuing Personal Excellence and to downloading the MP3 edition for your more leisurely consideration. Will you take up the challenge? Probably not but one never knows. Now and then, that unusual person comes along who not only wants to pursue Personal Excellence but has no option but to take the journey. Pursuing Personal Excellence is a guide book of sorts for you only if you are up to the challenge. Good luck and happy traveling.

Just because the topic is boring, you need not conclude that the content is boring, although it may be. If so, the ear worms make up for it.

Our Home - Your Home is a handbook for foster parents. Although all parents will find the handbook useful for understanding and working with their children, it focuses specifically on abused and neglected children and on the special challenges of parenting for these children. If you prefer reading the handbook, you may download The PDF Edition Here. The audio edition is 3.5 hours so you may also find it convenient to download it from GaryCrow.net under the audio player for the podcast episode. Also note that the address in the PDF edition is incorrect. I hope you find the handbook useful and wish you and your foster child all the best.

I think I'll just let you go wherever the title takes you. Who am I to tell you who you are or where your mind should venture. My only suggestion is that you consider a bike for the ride.

Most of the time we have no need to make that extra effort to relate and to get along. Our worlds are fairly calm and predictable. There are those times though, those times when, as the country song says, "People are crazy." Sure, it's not clear whether it's "people" or just maybe us who are crazy. It is at those times when today's tips come in most handy. It is a matter of mind over madness. It's us or them.

Here are three tips for not getting jerked around. Yes, it really is that easy.

The three tips are pretty interesting but not Earth shakers. Even so, the ear worms are definitely out there.

When do your interests take precedence over mine? When is what you want more important than what I want? How do I decide between what you need and what I need? Here are three tips to help you decide. Of course, you also get three ear worms to give you time to consider each tip.

How we handle other people and how they manage us makes a big difference. The conflict in the middle matters almost as much. The tips in this episode are spot on when we are having issues with any of these three stress points. Press play and decide how they fit with your view of things. The ear worms are pretty good too.

The tips here have been a little expanded to include some ideas that may not be quite as pithy but compensate by a tad more substance.

I particularly like the third tip, although you likely don't care what I think. No reason you should.