Take These Ashes

A personal story, a passage from Scripture, a tangible practice, and a closing reflection on the topic of COURAGE.  ______ Want to dig into this month's topic in a deeper and more personal way? Join us for the Cultivate Courage workshop via Zoom on January 31 from 8-9:30 PM (EST). Register here: https://forms.gle/4f3UKHqDThTkEDRY7. Venmo for workshop fee ($20): @heatherlobejohnson.   

Tabitha's biological father left when she was young. His leaving shaped her, but it doesn't get to shape the whole story. The rest of the story speaks to healing with Jesus, redemptive love, and finding victory over past brokenness. In this episode, Tabitha Panariso shares: The fire she walked through, even though she didn't recognize the pain of it at the time (4:04) What it was like to process those family of origin wounds, and to grieve the relationship with her biological dad (7:16) How that wound affected her view of herself and her sense of self-worth (8:20) The safe relationships that showed her what it felt like to accept love (13:30) Her spiritual journey in light of the relationship with her biological dad, and learning how God's love remains (16:07) What it looks like to parent with intentionality to point our own children to God's steadfast love (21:23) Her passion for fighting the good fight of faith (27:04) About this week's guest: Tabitha Panariso is unashamedly serious about Jesus and equally terrible at small talk.  As a writer, speaker, wife, and mama — she's realized that the only way to endure is to keep the main thing, the main thing. Her mission: to help women fight for an unwavering faith an in unsteady world. Follow her on Instagram at www.instagram.com/tabithapanariso for her encouraging content and to sign up for her "Pep Talks for the Persistent Soul." Connect with host, Heather Lobe Johnson, on Instagram: www.instagram.com/heatherlobejohnson 

The truth of the matter is, how you were raised affects you. It shapes the way you see relationships, yourself, and the world. It affects how you manage conflict, what kinds of relationships you gravitate towards or reject, how you make decisions, your self-worth and self-image, even your approach to faith. So, in this episode I'll share a list of personal reflection questions for you to think about how your family shaped you, offer an invitation for a way to share your story, and give you a prayer to accompany this brave and deep work of looking back.  A LIST: 5 categories of questions for personal reflection: Parents (3:34) Siblings (5:01) Conflict (5:48) Celebrations (7:11) Education, money, work (8:15) AN INVITATION to share your own story (13:43) Send a story about a profound moment or memory in your family to taketheseashes@gmail.com A PRAYER of encouragement for you in your healing (15:56) A line to hold you this week: "When we question our belovedness or belonging because of the past, may we rest in our status as beloved by you, held by you, known by you."   *For a full list of questions, email taketheseashes@gmail.com. Follow Heather on Instagram for more conversations around these topics: www.instagram.com/heatherlobejohnson   

This is a story of broken families, radical forgiveness, and the intimacy with God that changed a life. This is Pamela Henkelman's story, and the start to season 2 of Take These Ashes.  In this episode, Pamela shares: The shame of her family's brokenness and how it affected her as a young girl (6:12) The wild incident that should have torn her family apart, but instead drew them into incredible redemption (8:14) How Pamela's hunger for wholeness helped her forgive those who hurt her, and drives her to know God intimately and deeply (14:00) The way she and her husband intentionally parented their children, after the brokenness they both experienced in their families of origin (21:06) Her special name for God, and how the Psalms taught her to be vulnerable with God and others (24:43) The word of encouragement she would give her younger self (and you) in the immediate aftermath of her most painful moments (28:03) Resources mentioned in this episode: Search for Significance, by Robert McGee Experiencing God, by Henry Blackaby Always Daddy's Girl, by H. Norman Wright One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp Psalm 107 Pamela's website: www.pamelahenkelman.com Pamela's Instagram: www.instagram.com/phenkelman Connect with host, Heather Lobe Johnson, on Instagram: www.instagram.com/heatherlobejohnson 

If you feel powerless over your people pleasing, it might actually be a good thing...You might actually be on the brink of change.  In this episode of Take These Ashes, host Heather Lobe Johnson talks about her own journey with codependency (people pleasing), and how her encounter with the 12-step philosophy of recovery actually moved her towards sanity and positive change.  We cover in this episode: What codependency looks like The roots of codependency How people pleasing affects our time management, relationships, and well-being Where we can find hope if this pattern is prevalent in our lives Resources and a prayer for people pleasers Mentioned in this episode: Other episodes of Take These Ashes (Episode 19 with Kerrah Fahbacher, Ep. 24 with Liz Petty, Ep. 15 with Amanda Anderson, Ep. 6 with KJ Ramsey) Amanda Anderson's video resource called The Bridge at www.heartintraining.com/thebridge Boundaries book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Recovery programs for codependents: CODA, Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery SAMSHA (substance abuse and mental health services administration)- treatment programs, hotline, support groups, resources

Until we begin to fully grasp God's love for us, we will keep chasing after other loves that break our hearts or never fully satisfy our deepest longings.  In this episode of Take These Ashes, host Heather Lobe Johnson answers listener questions about why we find attention and affection from the opposite gender alluring (and equate it with our value), and whether pornography is okay.  The problem in both cases gets to a deeper question of the case of our hearts-- as philosopher Blaise Pascal says, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ." Heather discusses her heart, our collective hearts as humans, and God's heart for us through illustrations in Scripture (the woman at the well in John 4 and the prodigal son in Luke 15).  ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you. 

When our stories are woven with threads of sexual brokenness, it’s hard to untangle that from the other pieces of ourselves and our stories because it touches us at a soul level. We are fully integrated human beings, and our approach to healing must also be fully integrated. Body, mind, and spirit. In this episode, we discuss: God's design for intimacy How our approach to healing must integrate body, mind, and spirit What it looks like to try to find healthy intimacy after trauma (sexual abuse or sexual assault) in dating or marriage relationships Resources mentioned in this episode: Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend wetoo.org/resources Mary DeMuth's book We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Spiritual Abuse Crisis Celebrate Recovery (Christ-centered 12-step program for any hurt, habit, or hang-up) ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you. 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” -Psalm 147:3 tw: sexual assault and abuse When we experience trauma, there are complex layers of wounds that need healing in us. And as Kathleen Arnold, MSW shares in this episode of Take These Ashes, “that wound creates an opportunity for God.” Kathleen leads us in this conversation to discuss post-traumatic growth and the following: “Trauma is trauma.” Kathleen and Heather discuss how there’s no measuring stick for the hard things you’ve been through to compare it to the trauma of others. The definition of PTSD vs. C-PTSD and how trauma affects our bodies and brains How “negative” coping skills after experiencing trauma are actually part of our body’s strategy to try to survive Next steps towards growth and healing when someone becomes aware of their own trauma (and their own coping mechanisms to deal with that trauma) Seeing the “gold” from what we’ve been through—the Truth of who God is, how we see God and our stories, and how Jesus’s suffering relates to our own suffering here on earth How God uses His people to help us find safety and healing, and how to be a safe person for the people in your life   About this week's guest, Kathleen Arnold, MSW:  Kathleen Arnold is Program Director for Street Ransom, a Roanoke, Virginia-based ministry for juvenile survivors of sex trafficking. Kathleen has her bachelor’s degree from James Madison University in Global Justice Studies with a concentration in sex trafficking. Kathleen first began working with survivors of sex trafficking as the Program Supervisor at The Samaritan Women, a shelter for adult survivors of sex trafficking in Baltimore, Maryland. In 2015, Kathleen returned from Baltimore to the Roanoke Valley area and began working on the plans and programming for Street Ransom’s crisis shelter. In May of 2019 Kathleen graduated with her Master’s in Social Work to be better equipped for her position as Street Ransom’s Program Director.    Kathleen is a certified facilitator for a trafficking prevention curriculum called Not A #Number developed by Love146. She also has specific training on trauma, resilience, crisis intervention, de-escalation, and strengths based approach. ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.   

"When we’re in the pit of shame, when we’re in that darkness, we may not believe there’s a way to get to healing. And sometimes it takes people who love us well to fight for us, carry us, take us to the Healer." tw: sexual assault and abuse Sometimes when we walk through fire, it takes space and time to realize just how high the flames reach and how deep the pain runs. Aliza had no context or comparison for her first relationship (with a Christian), and when things went wrong it took her a while to wrap words around what she experienced. On this episode of Take These Ashes, join Aliza Latta and Heather Lobe Johnson for: Aliza’s experience with sharing her story of sexual assault and abuse with others The metaphors and images God gave to both Aliza and Heather in their healing How to navigate safe people, where to share our stories, how much to share and when The story of the paralyzed man whose friends carried him to Jesus for healing (Luke 5) and how that relates to our own need for healing in community (28:45) Aliza’s encouraging word to anyone who is walking through this particular type of pain (32:40) Aliza and Heather pray together over listeners for healing and encouragement   About this week's guest, Aliza Latta: Aliza Latta is a Canadian writer, artist, and author, who is a huge fan of telling stories. Her artwork and writing has been featured in publications for LifeWay, Dayspring, and (in)courage. She is always searching for the goodness of God, even when she has to squint to see it. Connect with Aliza: Subscribe to her monthly newsletter on spiritual direction:  https://alizalatta.com/subscribe On Instagram: instagram.com/alizalatta Read Aliza's article on (in)courage: Step into the Light: A Story of Healing After Sexual Assault ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you. 

What happened to you does not tell you who you are. About this week's guest, Debra Wallace: As a woman who discovered her husband’s same-sex betrayal, Debra Wallace validates and comes alongside women who’ve experienced betrayals of their own. As a coach and battle buddy, she facilitates wives care groups with a trauma informed approach as someone who has been in a betrayed woman’s shoes and “gets her.” Debra works at Be Broken Ministries as a Wives Care Assistant and is pursuing certification as an ADOH peer facilitator with a trauma informed approach. ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.

If you grew up during the Purity Culture movement and it gave you confusing messages about your body or intimacy, this one's for you. Join Heather Lobe Johnson and Dr. Camden, a Psychologist and Christian feminist, for this episode to learn: the definition of "purity culture" 5 myths of the purity movement, the impacts of those myths, and practical antidotes how to realign our theology around sex  the difference between guilt and shame how to create a "Teflon mind" and build shame resilience the best way to process the emotions and thoughts of these conversations with God Connect with Dr. Camden on Instagram @drcamden, Facebook @drcamden, and her website drcamden.com, where you can take the free quiz "Which purity culture myth affects you?" Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and college professor. She lives with her husband and daughter in Knoxville, TN. She writes and speaks about Christianity, psychology, and gender equality and has been published in Fathom magazine and Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality. She is currently writing a book on purity culture. ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.  

For both survivors and bystanders alike, why is it important to tell the truth about the power imbalances we see? From Genesis 1 to Jesus’s time to purity culture, fraternities, and present day businesses, churches, and politics, guest Tiffany Bluhm guides us through the history of the oppression of women. Today, it shows up in every sector of society, both sacred and secular. So how can we join in the work of speaking up, fighting for justice, and advocating for those who can’t speak up themselves? In this episode we discuss: Shame and power imbalances Why it's so difficult for trauma survivors to speak up The subtle psychology of believing certain narratives over others Jesus’s example of advocating for the abused and oppressed What bystander invention means & how to act on behalf of those who are hurting (“I will lend you my strength”) Dignifying the experience of those who’ve been abused (lament that this happens in all realms; listen well; learn) Love is not divorced from justice, and how justice is the heart of the Lord Connect with Tiffany Bluhm on Instagram @tiffanybluhm, her website tiffanybluhm.com, and pre-order Prey Tell on her site for access to the Prey Tell Summit.  This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ Tiffany Bluhm is the author of She Dreams and Never Alone, their companion Bible studies, and the forthcoming book Prey Tell: Why We Silence Women Who Tell the Truth and How Everyone Can Speak Up. She is a sought after speaker, writer, and podcast co-host of the popular podcast Why Tho, a show answering the existential and nonsensical questions we ask ourselves, with author and speaker, Ashley Abercrombie. She speaks at conferences and events around the world, and her work has been featured in World Vision Magazine, Pentecostal Evangel, TODAY Parents, the Hallmark Channel, The Jenny McCarthy Show, and more. Her Bible studies on the Bible app have been downloaded more than 130,000 times and she was named a Woman to Watch in 2018 by Premier Media. Tiffany leads an engaged audience online around women’s issues, identity, and faith. As a minority, immigrant woman with a interracial family, she is passionate about women’s equality, justice, and dignity. ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.

Sometimes the lies we tell ourselves come from past grief, pain, and trauma. So how do we “break up the concrete” around those old roots and learn truth? In this conversation, Liz Petty joins host Heather Lobe Johnson to discuss: How grief, codependence, and past trauma affect our thought life How we can learn to sift through lies vs. truth about our present situations and our identity Where we can ground ourselves when we are unsure about the truth The validity of our feelings and experiences, while also knowing that sometimes “our brains lie to us” Learning to answer questions like, “What’s true in this moment? What’s true about my identity? How has God been faithful in the past?” Resources mentioned in this episode: Grounding practices (moving our bodies, paying attention to our senses, naming what’s happening in the present moment) The Body Keeps the Score (by Bessel van der Kolk) Connect with Liz Petty on Instagram @lizpetty431, www.lizpetty.net, or on Facebook RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021): heatherlobe.com/course or email taketheseashes(@)gmail.com

When we pull up the old roots and look at them in the light, what do we plant next?  After we identify our unhealthy patterns and peel back the layers to look at the roots (episodes 20-22), now we get to forge a new path forward. Today, we’re talking about planting new, healthy roots in our lives. Take heart, friend. This is brave and hard work but it is worth it.  With a combination of practical and spiritual tools, this episode provides examples of how we can begin to live in a new way with healthier relationships and Truth-telling to care for our souls.  Resources mentioned in this episode: Neuroplasticity, support groups, therapy (generic resources, but feel free to google examples near you) Isaiah 43:19 Psalm 139 What Love Is (Kelly Minter’s study of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John) Jesus Storybook Bible (Sally Lloyd Jones) Boundaries (Henry Cloud, John Townsend) Daring Greatly (Brene Brown) I Thought It Was Just Me But It Isn’t (Brene Brown) So Worth Loving (Eryn Eddy) Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson on Instagram for prayer and encouragement.

"Thank you for the things that bring us to our knees."  What would it look like for us to accept, and even be grateful for, our suffering? As you address the root causes of your pain, you may wrestle with denial, avoidance, bitterness, or bargaining away the pain. But it's possible to look at our past pain with acceptance, as those trials can lead us into intimacy with God and authentic community with others. In this episode, Heather and Ryan Johnson discuss their separate stories of pain (addiction for Ryan, and unhealthy relationship patterns for Heather) and how they now look at their stories with gratitude.  Resources mentioned: Suffering is Never for Nothing, Elisabeth Elliot 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (MSG) Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson on Instagram  *Content warning: In this episode, we talk more specifically about addiction, rape, and abuse. If any of these topics are triggering to you, please listen with caution. 

Is there something in your life-- a habit, a painful cycle or pattern, an unhealthy coping mechanism-- you can’t seem to shake? Maybe it’s time to look a little deeper at the roots. In last week's episode (episode 20) we acknowledged there might be some deeper reasons for our repetitive cycles and struggles. This week we dig into four different categories of those roots: Inability to sit with hard emotions Childhood wounds/family of origin Unresolved trauma/hurt Shame/secrecy Heather Lobe Johnson shares more of her story of recovery from unhealthy relationship patterns by uncovering the root causes. She also invites us to slow down long enough to pay attention to our own. Next week we'll discuss how to move forward once we discover the roots of the pain.  Resources mentioned in this episode: Celebrate Recovery (nondenominational recovery program Heather mentions) Try Softer by Aundi Kobler Connect with Heather on Instagram @heatherlobejohnson

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." If you're stuck in a pattern you can't seem to break (unhealthy relationships, habits, or thought), there may be a deeper cause of pain at the root. Once we realize we don't want to stay in that cycle (when we're desperate for a different way of living), we can begin to take steps to truly change. In this episode, as an intro to this series on addressing the roots of our pain, Heather Lobe Johnson shares an original spoken word piece. "ROOTS" is about this very place of surrender and readiness, as we turn to the Lord and others to help us begin the work of uprooting lies, shame, and old wounds still affecting us in our daily lives and choices. Resources mentioned in this episode: Ephesians 3:16-19 Connect with Heather on Instagram @heatherlobejohnson    

Licensed counselor and boundaries coach Kerrah Fabacher joins host Heather Lobe Johnson to discuss boundaries in healing from relational wounds, and why boundaries are necessary in life. In this episode Kerrah explains what boundaries are, why we might struggle to implement boundaries, how to actually practice boundary-setting, and whether boundaries are biblical (hint: look at Jesus for an example). She also helps explain why certain personality types, childhood hurts, and self-worth might affect our ability to set healthy boundaries.   A few helpful quotes from Kerrah: “At the core of a lot of boundary issues is fear.” “Good, healthy boundaries are set with mutual respect.” “We can’t be healthy humans without healthy boundaries.” “How can I communicate this in a way that honors me, but also honors the other person?” “When we put healthy boundaries up it actually brings more freedom.” Resources mentioned in this episode: Essentialism - The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Enneagram personality types Connect with Kerrah Fabacher on Instagram @kerrahfabacher www.kerrahfabacher.com Be Known- Kerrah’s podcast on moving from broken to whole relationships Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson on Instagram @heatherlobejohnson

Where is God when we suffer? Where is the abundant life promised to us? What does Scripture have to say about grief? In this episode, Heather Lobe Johnson is joined by Kristin Vanderlip to discuss how pain is addressed in the Bible, and how God meets us in our suffering. Through Kristin’s own story of unexpected loss, she came to see hope in a real, lasting way. She also found a surprising connection to a certain Bible story that may apply to you, too. Show highlights: 2:30- Kristin’s story of how unexpected loss (of both her child and her father within a few months) changed her life and her faith 13:30- How pain forces us to look at Scripture in a different light 20:02- On persevering through hard times and cultivating real hope 21:45- How the book of Job in the Bible can apply to our lives today 29:15 “In the final chapter we see redemption for what Job has lost. But if you look at the whole book, its such a beautiful revealing of what suffering is and who God is.” 32:14 Kristin gives practical tips for how to get through suffering on a more day-to-day basis (prayers, journaling, counseling, movement, gratitude lists, having a mentor); Heather shares her list too (writing, community, therapy, taking things moment by moment instead of worrying about the far-ahead future) 46:58 The transformative power of journaling/writing to move through our grief Resources mentioned in this episode: Romans 5:3-5 James 1:1-4 The book of Job Emily P. Freeman’s podcast and book, The Next Right Thing The Power of Writing Down, by Allison Fallon Kristin Vanderlip’s Life Worth Living Journal KristinVanderlip.com (and free journal page when you subscribe to her email newsletter, The Restorative Pause) Connect with Kristin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristinvanderlip/ Connect with Heather on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherlobejohnson/ *Some of the resources listed here include affiliate links, to help support the production of this show.

On our darkest days, we have to keep chasing after the light. Author and speaker Dorina Gilmore joins Heather for this conversation about finding light when we’re living in the shadows of grief. This is also a timely conversation as we reflect upon the hard year of 2020 and head into a new year. A few highlights from this episode: [2:14] Dorina’s story of walking through the fire of unexpected loss and grief, and what it means to be a “glory chaser” [12:27] What does it look like to acknowledge the darkness but still chase after the light? [16:50] On Dorina’s practice of gratitude: “I had to look for the tiny miniscule pinholes of light that were coming through. But when we actually name those and count those, it’s amazing how they lift our spirits.” [20:19] Moving in and out of the shadows/light (the complicated nature of grief and the tangled yarn analogy [24:00] What Dorina wants to tell you if you’re still in the thick of darkness [27:18] On reflections of 2020, preparations for 2021, and giving ourselves patience when grief lingers [33:43] Psalm 139 and how God is the light in our darkness   Connect with Dorina Gilmore: -www.dorinagilmore.com -Podcast: Walk, Run, Soar  -Book: Walk, Run, Soar: A 52-Week Running Devotional  -Instagram: @dorinagilmore 

When the unexpected rises up, how do we respond? Mary knew God’s character, she understood His big-picture plan, and she trusted Him with open-handed surrender. Listen to this episode about the Magnificat (Mary's prayer in Luke 1) and hear what we can learn from Mary about trusting God--especially this year.  Resources mentioned in this episode: Luke 1:26-55 Heartcare at the Holidays (www.heatherlobe.com/heartcare) Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson on Instagram for prayers and more encouragement @heatherlobejohnson.

Part of the healing process involves grieving, and "going right up to the edge of what you think you can't bear because some of it is so painful to look at."  Author and speaker Amanda Anderson joins Heather Lobe Johnson for a rich conversation about our emotions, processing past pain, naming the hurts, and ultimately finding comfort for our grief with the God of all comforts. Show notes: 4:11- Amanda's ash story of anxiety, depression, and secondary infertility 23:10- On the 12 steps and how Jesus is with us in the pain. "If you don't feel how sick you are, you will never fully appreciate the cure." 36:34- Healing from addiction (of any kind) involves naming what hurt us.  39:40- "A buzz is not a boundary." Being fully present and allowing ourselves to feel all of the pain (without numbing). 42:24- God calls Himself the God of all comfort, and mourning is the path to comfort.   48:00- What it looks like to feel/examine our emotions as Christians (grief, anger, fear, etc.) Resources mentioned in this episode: Amanda's book- All My Friends Have Issues: Building Remarkable Relationships with Imperfect People (Like Me) Amanda's website- www.heartintraining.com Connect with Amanda on Instagram @AmandaAndersonAuthor Follow Amanda on Facebook- Amanda Anderson- Heart in Training Heart Care at the Holidays- free guide from Heather Lobe Johnson

When we are bruised and broken, the holidays sometimes accentuate the ache within us. Our brokenness doesn’t get to take a break at the holidays. In fact, sometimes these broken parts of ourselves get even louder in comparison to the joy we see around us. Listen to this episode with Heather Lobe Johnson on why it's important to tend to our hurting hearts during the holiday season.  Show notes: 1:40- Heather's own story with grief at the holidays 4:08- Why our brokenness doesn’t get to take a break at the holidays 7:41- The year Heather decided to finally take care of her own heart 8:56- 4 Steps to take care of your heart at the holidays 15:14- On grief and gratitude, the paradox of living in this kingdom Resources mentioned in this episode: Heart Care at the Holidays- free guide from Heather Lobe Johnson Romans 8:18-25 https://www.divorcecare.org/holidays Wheel of Emotions (to help you name your feelings) Boundaries Coach- Kerrah Fahbacher https://www.celebraterecovery.com/index.php Grief and Joy Hold Hands (episode with Thelma Nienhuis)

Rather than pushing grief aside, how can we make space for it?  This week, Heather Lobe Johnson is joined by Thelma Nienhuis, author of Quiet Assurance: Meditations on Peace for the Grieving Heart. Thelma shares about her own story of lingering grief (in the loss of her mother at a young age, infertility, and spousal caregiving). In this episode, Thelma also: helps us find new language to address our grief talks about Scripture, lament, and God's heart for our hurt shares how grief and joy can coexist gives examples of how we can walk alongside those who are hurting (long-term systems of support) Resources mentioned in this episode: Quiet Assurance: Meditations on Peace for the Grieving Heart (amazon affiliate link) Connect with Thelma on Instagram Follow Thelma on Facebook Connect with host Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram @heatherlobejohnson.

“We don’t pray because it guarantees a certain outcome. We pray because it ushers us into the presence of God.” –Nicole Zasowski In this episode, Heather Lobe Johnson and Nicole Zasowski discuss: The space between what we thought would be and what actually will be Identifying the wounds of our pasts and the ways we try to protect ourselves; restoring love and trust in relationships (including with ourselves) Nicole’s struggle with loss and infertility How the outcomes of our prayers often look different than what we hope, but how God also knows what we truly need The book of Lamentations as a permission-giver to express our grief Letting ourselves hope again after disappointment And this: no matter how beautiful the gifts are that we long for, our hope is ultimately in the giver and not in the gift itself Nicole Zasowski is a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of From Lost to Found: Giving up what you think you want for what will set you free. As an old soul who wears her heart proudly on her sleeve, she enjoys writing and speaking on topics that merge her professional knowledge, faith, and personal experience. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and two young boys. Nicole would love to connect with you on her website: www.nicolezasowski.com or on Instagram: @nicolezasowski. ____ Connect with host Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram @heatherlobejohnson.

At the end of this week, one of unrest and unknowns, we turn to God as our ever-present help and comfort. Listen as Take These Ashes host, Heather Lobe Johnson, reads Psalm 46 (NKJV and The Message translations) and prays for God to help our hearts be still in Him.

When we’re in the embers, do we run back to the fire, do we stay in the ash, or do we fully surrender to the healing process God has for us? In this episode, Heather is joined by her husband Ryan who shares his story of how his addiction to prescription pain killers eventually brought Him to the Lord and sobriety. Heather and Ryan discuss the process of true surrender, the need for transparency when we’re struggling, and parallels in Scripture that remind us of how the Lord grows and redeem us through the hardest parts of our stories. Resources in this episode: Teen Challenge Program Apologetic books/authors mentioned: The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel, Dr. Hugh Ross (Christian physicist), C.S. Lewis Ezekiel 36:26, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Exodus 6 (describing the way God sent Moses to the Promise Land) Hebrews 3:19 (“when all the unbelief dies”) Joshua 3 (Joshua and Caleb cross the Jordan), Joshua 4 (memorial stones) 1 Samuel 7:12 (Ebenezer stones) Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer, resources, and daily encouragement on Instagram (@heatherlobejohnson). 

Do you believe God is trustworthy?    When we’ve been through broken relationships and pain in this world, sometimes it makes it hard to see God as good. When we see Him through our broken lenses or as the source of our pain, it can make it hard to trust Him.   If we're going to surrender the most integral parts of ourselves, our prayer requests, our addictions, or our shattered hearts, we must trust that God is good to hold these things and provide for us. In this episode, Heather shares about her own re-learning of the Lord's character through "Prayers of the People," and stories in Scripture that point us back to God's heart as  trustworthy and faithful.    Resources mentioned in this episode: Genesis 22 Luke 5 Prayers of the People (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, intercession) Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram (@heatherlobejohnson). 

We don't have to be perfect or get it all right when God calls us good. And that is freeing.   *Note- this episode includes conversations around mental health and suicidal thoughts. Please listen with care for your own soul (and a mindfulness about those who might be listening with you).    Wendi Nunnery and Heather Lobe Johnson discuss the process of surrender as we begin to heal from our fires and painful places. Wendi is the author of Good Enough: Letting Go of Perfect for the Sake of Holy, which releases this week with Paraclete Press. In this episode, we discuss: Mental Health (OCD, post-partum depression, and suicidal ideation) Finding freedom from perfectionism Surrender as letting go   Learning to see God as tender and as El Roi, the God who sees Finding our iron sharpeners, or the safe people who can love us when we're at our lowest and will help point us back to Jesus Resources mentioned in this episode: Good Enough book on Amazon; on Barnes and Nobles  Wendi's Instagram: @wendinunnery Website: www.wendinunnery.com Wendi's Podcast: Sooo OCD Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram (@heatherlobejohnson). 

Often times when we walk through great loss or change, we cannot go back to how life was before. So now here in the ashes, we must grieve, forgive, heal, and rebuild. I hope in sharing more of my story (a continuation here from Episode 1) and the stories of others, you will hear that healing is possible. Rebuilding is possible. And hope is possible again. In this episode: Serenity Prayer- "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen." (Reinhold Niebuhr) Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram (@heatherlobejohnson).  

There is power in processing our pain. It’s going to take time. It’s going to take space to process. And it’s going to require grace for yourself to take both that time and that space. When you're just outside of the flames and you're not sure how to begin sifting through the ash, you may wonder where to begin. In this place of transition, with embers still glowing and ash settling around us, let us process what’s been lost, grieve the things broken and torn apart, and then begin to rebuild, however long it takes.  In the meantime, I’m holding space for you, friend. Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram (@heatherlobejohnson).

In this broken world, we're bound to feel the burn of broken relationships. KJ Ramsey, therapist and writer, joins Heather for a conversation about learning to feel safe in relationships after woundedness. Whether your hurt stems from family, church, a marriage, or friendship, unhealed wounds can affect your view of relationships with others and God. But through coregulation and interdependence (explained by KJ in this episode), we can take small steps to re-learn how to be in relationship with others and build resilience in ourselves. If you feel like relationships have only let you down, we pray this episode helps you sow a seed of courage to try building trust again.  Resources: KJ's website: www.kjramsey.com This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers KJ's Instagram: @kjramseywrites  Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram (@heatherlobejohnson).

When gold is refined, fire burns away its impurities. But when we're in the fire, it sure feels like we ourselves are being burned. This episode is a conversation with guest Shannon Geurin, a woman whose story of a redeemed marriage points us back to God's restorative work. Heather and Shannon discuss whether our heartaches and hardest events burn or refine our lives, and though their stories are different, they ultimately come to the same conclusion. They take another look at the passage in Daniel 3 about the fiery furnace, and how our fires can change our outlook on life.  Questions for reflection: What's changed as a result of the fires in your life? Have you seen any gold come forth yet?  Resources mentioned in this episode: Shannon's website: https://shannongeurin.com/ Shannon's community website: FierclyHis.com Facebook Group: FiercelyHisWoman Instagram: ShannonGuerin Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram.

When we walk through "furnace seasons," does God feel distant or present with us? Daniel 3 takes on an extra layer of meaning for young widow Danita Jenae, who has been sustained by Jesus's presence through intense loss this year. Heather and Danita talk about the intense isolation of trials, how God comforts us when we walk through pain, and the importance of giving ourselves grace to rest in the exhaustion of grief.  Resources mentioned in this episode: Danita's website- www.danitajenae.com [Sign up for a complimentary 5-day devotional: 5 Graces to Get You Through Fire] Danita's Instagram There's Another in the Fire by Hillsong Daniel 3 Isaiah 43 Psalm 18 Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram.

Could it be that our fires are holy ground, where if we’re paying attention God can speak into our lives? In this episode, we enter into the story of Moses and the burning bush (Exodus 3). Through this encounter with God, Moses was given insight into God's character, a promise, and a directive.  Like Moses, our fires can be the things that draw us into God’s presence, where we begin to pay attention, where we learn more of who He is, or where we can even find a new calling for our lives. Listen through the end of the episode for personal reflection questions and application.  Resources mentioned in this episode: Blue Letter Bible commentary on Exodus 3 Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram.

When we walk through challenging seasons, what happens to our faith? Our view of God?  In this episode, host Heather Lobe Johnson discusses these questions with writer and philosopher, Hilary Yancey. Hilary talks about the fires in her life, and how she wrestled through questions, doubts, and quiet prayers to the faith she has today.  Resources mentioned in this episode: Hilary's book, Forgiving God Hilary's Instagram Hilary's Substack Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or more daily encouragement on Instagram.

We all have stories of walking through fires... maybe small, maybe monumental. But materials that pass through the flame are inherently changed, including us. Whether your story includes loss, trauma, prolonged illness, or broken dreams, listen to Heather's story for encouragement that: Your pain is valid.  You're not alone in the fire (Isaiah 43:1-3). This pain and brokenness is part of the fuller arch of the Gospel, as we wait for restoration (Romans 8:22-28).  Connect with Heather Lobe Johnson for prayer or daily encouragement at Instagram. 

Take These Ashes Trailer- We all want the beauty God promises us in Isaiah 61. We forget, though, the beauty follows the ash. This is an original spoken word piece by host Heather Lobe Johnson, introducing the podcast's themes of fire, ash, and beauty.